Global Recycling Day! 100% recycled dad jokes here! 18 March 2026

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I quit my job crushing coke cans for recycling.

It was so depressing.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sold destroying.

What secret society recycles cans?

The Illuminum Monati.

I heard Bill and Melinda Gates are getting divorced.

Apparently he refused to ever empty the recycle bin.

I'm starting a company of recycling chewing gum.

I just need some help to get it off the ground.

An environmental group in Denmark is trying to convince the government to use recycled Legos

to repay their highways.

Unfortunately, they've still facing a lot of roadblocks.

I just took a job at the recycling plant.

I'm in charge of the can-department and I'm crushing it.

I spent months designing a built made of recycled watches.

My wife says it was a waste of time.

I've invented a machine that recycles chess sets.

This is a game changer.

I failed inspection at the recycling center I work at.

They said the place was a dump.

What do the cyclists do with the bikes after the tour de France?

They recycle them.

My wife asked me to take the trash out.

But it already had a deep with the recycling.

The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission.

When you bring in one can, you can save two cans.

Just a moment away from more dead jokes right after this brief pause.

My day kicks off with a refreshing Celsius energy drink.

Then straight to the gym.

Pre-get pick up, back home to meal prep.

Time for my fire session shift.

One more Celsius gotta keep the lights on.

When the three alarm hits, I'm ready.

Celsius, live, fit, go.

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Every morning I take a bike ride through the park at least twice no matter how exhausted I am.

I always push myself to recycle.

The White House has instituted a policy of recycling used push pins.

They call it no new text.

What happens to a recycling bin after you crash into it on your bike?

It becomes a recycling bin.

I was in front of a grocery story, some guy came up to me.

He said, hey, do you have a moment to help save the environment?

I said absolutely.

So he gave me a pamphlet.

I recycled it right away.

I bought a second hand bike.

It's recycled.

My colleague just took a new job at a waste management company and I've completely run out of pun jokes.

Guess I'll have to recycle them.

My wife designed a dress made completely from recycled white bars.

It's really quite remarkable.

If you recycle rubber enough times, eventually it gets retired.

Spare bike parts are environmentally friendly.

They are recyclable.

Why did the recycling center turn away Don Corleone?

They were made and offered they couldn't reuse.

You should know you can help to recycle dead batteries and return them in most supermarkets.

It's free of charge.

The man at the recycling center seemed so sad.

So I asked why so down in the dumps.

How do you recycle toilet paper?

You beat the crap out of it.

I just recycle 12 cases of old beer bottles.

Gross.

Working on a cookbook titled Recycled.

It was the only title left over.

What is Kermit the Frog's excuse for not recycling?

It's not easy being green.

I'm Montgomery Jones.

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