Got A Case Of The “Ick”?  It May Be YOU, Not THEM!

0:00This is an I Heart Podcast. Guaranteed Human. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I choose option B. I'm Julie Pinero and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I survived nine months in captivity and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the survivor files. Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. Abducted, stalked, controlled and nearly silenced.

1:00These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the survivor files with Elizabeth Smart on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're a bookshelf and you're a for you page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet and pop culture. With your favorite writers, book talk creators and plenty of over thought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. Listen to pro society on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Didn't catch the latest Roland Martin unfiltered podcast? Here's what you missed. There should not be a single law enforcement agency. It does not have body cameras. It's real. Black farmers have been under attack. This is just the latest example of them just slapping DEI on anything. It's raw. And I'm sitting here going, they are playing y'all for full sketch.

2:02Roland Martin's daily commentary on the black information networks. And download Roland Martin unfiltered on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts. Wherever you get your podcasts. College football will hijack your weekend, ruin your sleep and break your heart. And that's why we make the Solid Verbal College football show. I'm Ty Hildenbrand. He's Dan Rubenstein. Every week we preview the games that matter in the story lines that are going to ignite your group chat. And you can join us in the aftermath as we react to what happened, why it matters and how the sport went completely bonkers yet again. Listen to the Solid Verbal College football show on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, the folks it is Saturday, September 5th and… Look at your partner. Look at a picture of your partner, they're not with you. Isn't it? Anything about the person you're in a relationship with that just gives you the Ick?

3:02Well, you're not alone. It's a real thing. And we'll all find out together right now if there's anything in the world you can do about it. And with that welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ, one of our special episodes in which Robes does not want me to do any research about the topic. This one in particular has to do Robes. Do I have it right? Is it a thing called the Ick? It's real, you might have it and can we do anything about it? Oh my God, I think everyone listening has had an experience of getting the Ick from someone they're dating, someone they may even be married to. Is that the official term of it? The Ick? Yes, it's been around for a while. I actually have some of the origins we can get into all of that. But the big headline here is the Ick might not be about them, it might be saying something about you. Can you define the Ick or are you talking about just being turned off by the person you are in? Well, I have the Ick, I have a couple different definitions that have been offered to us by, I guess, professionals. The Ick can be described as the sudden loss of attraction towards a partner or a moment

4:06of romantic repulsion that feels disproportionate and difficult to explain. Like you know you shouldn't be that turned off by something that's happening and yet you are and it makes you want to run for the hells. Okay, can I, I'm, I'm, yeah, I know nothing about this. So I'm going to ask as we go along, are we talking about like a moment in which like there's a habit or routine or something that person does that judge you? Okay, all right. All right. I have plenty of examples. Would you like me to get into some examples? Where'd we want to start? So these are oftentimes minor behaviors, minor quirks, but they take over your brain and you can't forget them, right? So and by the way, the Ick, hashtag the Ick, racked up nearly a quarter million posts in 2025 and counting like this is something that people are sharing and actually comparing notes with and finding a community like, okay, I'm not alone, but it's really interesting

5:07because what the therapists and the folks who study behaviors in, in human being say, don't worry, doesn't mean you're superficial. I think sometimes I've definitely felt like that like, wow, Amy, like come on, just move past this. It's not that big of a deal. It means you're human and maybe it means you're a little scared and we'll get into this because they describe having the Ick as actually a natural defense mechanism and it doesn't always mean that you're incompatible with that person or that you're even necessarily turned off by that person. It could actually be a fear of vulnerability, a fear of intimacy. Then why? Okay, go ahead. I'm going to keep listening. Okay. I got a ton of questions. Let me give you some examples. All right. I actually came out of a headline this week, Ila Fisher, actress who was once married to Sasha Baron Cohen. She is now dating post divorce and she shared this in a podcast.

6:07I'm going to say a word I wouldn't normally say, but she said it. Oh, God. So I think it's okay. But she talked about a dating Ick that she just had with a guy who she thought could go somewhere. Okay. She said, I really like somebody and his dog ran away. He chased his dog. But instead of chasing upright, he ran low with his hands outstretched like a cartoon. By the time he caught the dog, he lost the pussy. Okay. That's what she said. She was turned off by the way he ran. Yes. After this dog, like he got so upset that his dog ran off the way he ran after his dog, she was just like, nope, not dating him anymore. Okay. So is there anything wrong with that because we all have things. Do we not? We have are these not just, I don't know, we call them deal breakers, but that's behavioral, right? That's somebody smokes or somebody does something. But Robes, there are certain people you're just not compatible with because we're, I can't

7:08be with somebody that does that. Okay. And yes. And that is character flaw against that person. But you do end up feeling superficial and I just think if everyone's being honest, they've had this experience and what the, and we'll get into what the relationship experts say. They're saying don't run for the hills. Examined why you feel this very strong feeling of repulsion. Some other examples, noisy eating. Noisy eating is a, okay, that's just an annoyance, isn't it? Doesn't everybody get turned off by noisy eating? Does anyone listening like a noisy eater? No, but we're talking about the fact that your reaction would be like, oh my god, I can never go on another date with this person. Yes, that should be. We're on date too. And you're, yes, exactly okay. I'm telling you though, sometimes you don't realize it when you're in the throes of love and then you get deeper into a relationship and you think, wow, that is so annoying. And I can tell you, I am a huge culprit of this of just feeling that way.

8:09Some other examples, someone who poses oddly in photos, like it's just like, eh, like an odd poser clapping when the plane lands. Suddenly someone described sudden karate moves after dinner, like some weird cork that somebody does, um, discovered that their date bought fake books to decorate their home. Like little things that shouldn't rise to the level of, we're going to break up now, suddenly become an overwhelming feeling that you want to run. Okay, I got it. Someone else that playing non-stop Jimmy Buffett, like it, it's things that you think you should be able to just ignore or move past, but suddenly they become like these huge yikes that you can't unhere, unsee or unremember. Okay, I have thoughts, man. Go ahead. I have so many thoughts, but I want to hear this out because so many of the things you are listening are genuine turnoffs. I think for a great majority of people and women if you're being honest with yourselves.

9:14So, if you saw your guy, your man that you're dating, you know what, take a run down the street and his arms are to the side, like one of the kids from weapons. You would go, what the actual hell? And that's just, whoa, that's a weird thing. It's just, no, go ahead with the list. There was so many things you listed, babe. Well, I have some personal ones too that I could add that are along the same vein. No, is he eating? No, is everybody hates no, is he eating? So you have to swallow. Robes, we all hate that. That's not just an ik. But you should be able to look past that if it's someone who you say you love. Okay, yes, and you do. And we do. You're a very loud eater, babe. I know I am. You are swallowing. I know. It's all, I'll give you because you always try to blame you. You have a narrow esophagus. I do. But sweetheart, you are a very loud, like extra, it's noticeable.

10:18Have you thought about breaking up with me over it? I've had moments. Okay. Depends on how big the meal will. Okay. Also, like I can tell you, like it passed, like the way someone sits, someone who plays non-stop air guitar on a steering wheel, someone who listens to one artist over and over and over again. I understand that. Clapping when the plane lands made me laugh because... Because you look at somebody, what are you doing weirdo? That's what your response would be. Yes. Robes, that's weird. We just landed in Birmingham. What are you doing? I totally get it. Sudden karate moves after dinner. That made me laugh too. Just like weird quirky behaviors. Like what are you doing that is such a turn off? Ew. No, these are just, I don't want to call them X. Robes, it's eye behavior that make... You know what it is? You look at when people do that, there was like all sexual energy goes away.

11:20Yes. Like I can't be turned on by somebody who does that. Like when I started vomiting after the marathon and you said, damn you're sexy. Yes. Like I get that, but you were joking. No, but you were having a moment. Something with it. That wasn't a part of your character who you were. Don't get me wrong. I'm not chucking at the A-train. I don't want to have sex with you then. But she's having a moment. It's different from behavior. Robes, there are things that people do that just make them completely... The way they sneeze. Asexual to you. Yes, the way they sneeze. The way, like there are lots of things that can just really get under your skin and actually people run for the hills. They avoid relationships when they see, but think about it. If someone is otherwise a wonderful human being and they have a couple things that are, like if you see those and you think, oh hell no, bye. That is what we're talking about. Where you actually will leave a relationship or walk away from somebody who otherwise would have been a very... It represents something. A dateable, wonderful person.

12:21Maybe it represents something. You can have this wonderful guy who has bad habits around the house. He won't help clean. He won't pick up his 30 clothes. He won't do it at us. But he runs in a way you like. He protects you in the way he likes. He works hard in a way you like. He does all these things that's still fit. He just has these annoyances. Robes, you are getting at the heart of what makes someone attractive. This is a matter of if this person does this, there is nothing in their physical... You can't make up for the attractiveness that's lost when somebody does something goofy. So I will... And I shared this with you before we got on. I actually had a conversation years ago with a therapist because I was experiencing the Ick. And I actually felt ashamed by it because I thought, wow, am I superficial? Is this just... Like, I want to leave. No, because something particular. I want to run. There were a couple things that were just... I felt like so turned off. And I was told that it was me afraid of intimacy.

13:24I was told it was my fear of intimacy. And that is exactly what several articles have specified about the Ick. Saying, now there are some questions you can ask yourself because there is... The sum actually are... Okay. ...warning signs that you should not be in a relationship with someone. But other times they say it doesn't mean that you're turned off or incompatible, that it actually could be a form of self-protection. And it could be a tool that you have employed without realizing it to distance yourself from intimacy when it begins to deepen. You believe that? I believed it at the time. Now I look back and think I should have listened to my spidey sense. You think I love Fisher is scared of intimacy because the dude runs in a way that turns her off. Yeah. You know? She's scared of intimacy? This is what some therapists are saying. Some, okay. They say it often happens when the fantasy of someone, of who or what someone could be, falls apart. Like, you're holding them up to this standard. And then the moment they do something you don't like, you're like, and we're done.

14:24And they're just warning people not to have a knee jerk reaction when you get the ick. Do you have any other examples? No, don't listen now. Okay. I'm curious. And I was going to ask you, do you have, if you think back without getting specific obviously to your life and your dating history, were there things that you were like, deal breaker, I just got the ick. I'm running, I'm not, I'm not asking for a second date or a second date. Yeah. What were they? Do you remember some of the actual behaviors? I, you know what? I, yeah. And one had to do with running. Okay, please do tell. This is funny because people can relate. It's funny because someone in the very public way ran towards me when we were reconnecting, hadn't seen this person in a while. And to be publicly running towards me, I was like, this is embarrassing. And I didn't like it. And I didn't want to be with that person anymore. I'm like, oh yeah, I made the right call. This is. I swear yeah, I can remember that. It was like slightly from obsession like way too excited to see me.

15:27I've had someone start dancing in like a restaurant. That's, it's not my name. It's not what I do. It's just it, you're turned off because you can never get on the same page with that behavior. Yes. And it's fine for that person. I just, we are so opposed in how we are comfortable behaving in public that we are not going to be okay. And that's fine. Rob, there's some stuff you've taken me to, I've complained about this before. If I was dating somebody that was doing this, it'd be a problem. That how you all sometimes get in some ice face and singing a song. Oh, yes. That thing. I love doing that. It drives me crazy. I know it does. I try not to do it to you. It's such an it. But I do like doing it. Oh, my God. Though we talked about this yesterday because this was on the list, burping in public. And look, some people think it's funny. Some people think it's okay. Someone did it while we were eating yesterday. Oh, that's right.

16:27I mean, just walked right by us and let out and just ripped a belch. And they're like, some people think it's funny and cute and hilarious. And other people, it's a total ik. We're not compatible. Absolutely not. If you do that. But guess where the origins, they believe that the origins from just actually using the term, obviously people have felt repulsion from the beginning of time. But to give it the label, the ik, it came from, and I know it's something you did not watch. But I did. The 1990s series, Ali McVeele, they started using getting the ik. And I did not realize that that was the first time that phrase was uttered. And it has really, obviously, we're still what, 30 years later. And now it's kind of taken on a new life and people refer to it. If you just listen to Jen Zeeers and they use it all the time. Yeah, it started listening on television, maybe even love Island, getting the ik. People talk about the ik all the time. You've heard this on love Island? Oh, yeah, I've heard it constantly. So now it's funny to think that the origins were from 1990s sitcom Ali McVeele.

17:30But I- What could you, the ik? Oh, I have so many. Like I can actually go back and remember plenty of my it. Or you get to that, is the ik? Do you have the same ik? Does it carry over through every relationship? Or is the ik specific to certain people? For me, it was- I mean, you can have certain things that annoy you. But for me, some of these ik are very personal and specific. Okay. So what I'm saying, if you get- if I'm annoyed by somebody clapping when we land, I'm going to be annoyed when she does it. Or the next person I'm dating does it. Or the next person I'm dating does it. So that's what I'm asking. I don't know. I don't know that. I'm just a little bit more interested in that. Because I wonder if you know someone's personality and it fits with their personalities on how you give them a pass because it works. It's authentic. And it's something about that person that you like. Their silliness. Like, I look fissure. I look fissure. She'd had more time with this guy. Oh, that's my goofy boy running. Exactly. She might have thought that. But what happens is when you're in a relationship with somebody and you start noticing everything they do is grossing you out, then you've got a problem.

18:31And I've definitely been in that experience before. And you start to like feel bad that somehow you're judging someone. I'm too high of a standard, but I also think you have to listen to how you're feeling. And I do think I've made a mistake oftentimes in my life and my love life by not trusting my own gut where I, there's a reason why I'm turned off. And it doesn't mean I'm a bad person, but that is actually just not something I want to be around. Well, it's too, it's not like almost too high of a standard or too much. I don't know, you're holding yourself to who, too high of a standard in that you are saying. What was it you said to your therapist that you're possibly being what? Because... Super fissure. ...super fissure. ...because that, I think that's wrong. You got to listen to the, it's okay. It's not superficial. This is something, these are personality differences. These are character differences. We are not compatible. Yeah.

19:31If you do that and I do this, and that's okay. I don't like watching someone dance badly. Some people might think it's cute. I think it's unattractive. I think when someone has a really annoying sneeze or makes noises that are just embarrassing in public, yes. I do like that. I cannot stand. This is the truth. If someone has a terrible laugh, I don't even think I can be friends with them. You know what? Because I love to laugh. You know things like that get under my skin. I was thinking about another. You know what? Makeup and heels can give me the egg. And what I mean is there are some folks who can't walk out the house without putting on full face. And if you can't just be relaxed, I always say if you can't put on jeans and a t-shirt, belly up to a bar and watch the football game that we're probably not going to be okay. But the idea, that's a good way to put it. And put it in reverse. If you can't do this, that's an egg. Yes. So, look, they suggest that you ask yourself these questions when you realize you're getting

20:37the egg. Is this something important that I've noticed? Like, is this an important thing that they're doing or not doing? Is it an excuse to avoid emotional closeness? Is it an excuse to avoid awkwardness? And what about the behavior bothers you? Does it say something deeper about that person? And if it does, then that should indicate to you that maybe there's a reason why you're feeling this and that relationship isn't right. So, sorry. Can you say that list again? Well, you need to ask yourself, is this something important? Like, what they're doing? And is it an important thing that would affect your life, like in a big way? No. Most of them are no. You belching loudly or clapping when the pilot lands, it's not the end of the world. Exactly. So, they're just saying, take that into the context of what it is. But still, I don't want to be with you, but go ahead. Is it an excuse to avoid emotional closeness? No, no, no. Emotional closeness, because you're clapping like a moron when we landed. Okay. Is it an excuse to avoid awkwardness?

21:38Excused to it. Like, you just don't want to be in an awkward moment, so you just rather not be with that person. Are you just kind of dismissing it because it's awkward and you don't like to be in an awkward situation? Uh, yeah. I don't want to be embarrassed in public repeatedly. Every time we land, every time we go out to dance, yes. And I think this is a big one. What about the behavior bothers you? Just to investigate it, does it signal a deeper issue with that person? And if the answer is yes, then that is something you should consider. Okay. I think that's fair. Now, when we come back, we're going to tell you how you should handle the situation if you are in a relationship with someone and they are giving you IK. What should you do? On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I choose option B. I'm Julie Beniero and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without

22:40asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us, not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and health captive for nine months. I survived and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the survivor files. I just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything.

23:46Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up without a doubt he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. Their stories about what it takes to make it out alive, listen to the survivor files with Elizabeth Smart on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're a bookshelf and you're a for you page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Pro's Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.

24:47I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters and that is a Trojan horse, whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. It's into Pro's Society on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Didn't catch the latest Roland Martin unfiltered podcast. Here's what you missed. And the argument is, do you want to win? If you don't win, you have no power. It's real. Those are the very people who I always say vote against their own economic interests and they complained about the very thing they were seeing. It's wrong. The issue of transgender athletes was not going well with a lot of black men.

25:50Roland Martin unfiltered. I went off. I said, this is exactly what I'm talking about. You're going to scream at Chanel, but you don't want to see a black luxury company in the same bag. Catch Roland Martin's daily commentary on the black information network. 12 seats. Those are moving south. You don't wait until 2030. You better be hitting the ground going hard in the south now. And download Roland Martin unfiltered on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast. Wherever you get your podcasts. College football will hijack your weekend, ruin your sleep and break your heart. And that's why we make the Sullivan-verbal College football show. I'm Ty Hildenbrand. He's Dan Rubenstein. How's it going? Every week we preview the games that matter, sort through the biggest storylines and tell you what to watch before kickoff. There's a lot to keep track of. Who's for real? Which upset is hiding in plain sight? And which storyline is about to take over your group chat? And when the games are over, join us in the aftermath, too.

26:53We're going to react to what happened, talk about the biggest results. Of course, we'll cover the playoff picture. And all the little details you might have missed while flipping between like 12 games at once. If you know every coach and coordinator or just want to understand why everybody is yelling, we're here to help make sense of the madness. Listen to the Solid Verbal College football show on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey there, everybody. And welcome back to Amy and TJ. We're talking about the ICC. We've all felt it. We've probably all given someone it without realizing it. But the question here is what you should do if you find yourself in a relationship with someone who is suddenly giving you the ICC. Maybe you didn't notice it before and now you're like, what do I do? So the experts say if the rest of the relationship is healthy and fulfilling, if for the by and

27:59large you are happy with this person, but damn it every time they sneeze, it's so annoying and loud. You literally can't have sex with them for 24 hours. They say you should wait and give the ICC time to pass. And then they suggest you should discuss your concern directly with your partner, not with everyone else, which is what they say most people do. You call your girlfriend, you call your friend like, oh my God, every time he does this, I want to just die or crawl under a rock. There's some women listening to this podcast who are going to immediately call their girlfriend. Absolutely. I mean, I've done it. When I read that, I was like, oh shit, I did do that. I would absolutely be like, oh my God, every time he does this, so they say the proper way to deal with this, you do. And you should tell your partner, when you do this, this really annoys me. Can you try and not do this? And that's an okay and fair thing to do. You should address it with your partner.

29:00You should tell them it's annoying. Okay, that's fair. That's difficult. Okay. Oh my gosh, there was another example. Hey, can you stop belching in public? Yes, when you do that, you know what, you could say that is not sexy. And I think that'll stop somebody in their tracks. Okay. And when we get to Chicago, can you keep your hands down and you don't have to applaud, okay? So, someone else gave an example, I just saw this one, that here's an example of say a guy, I say a guy, because this seems like something a guy would do. Oh, wait for it. Here we go. Decides to pull out his guitar and serenade you. It's probably a guy. You can be Ic. Okay. They say it's okay to say this to them. That was so sweet, but it makes me embarrassed to have someone sing to me. Just try not to like totally humiliate them, but let them know that's just not something I want to hear. And you know what, I can remember sometime when someone sent me a cheesy ass, terribly written poem, I was like, I'm done.

30:01Like I cannot be with someone who writes this. And I didn't have the guts to say that, but I was like, and we're done. Like nope. But there is another woman out there somewhere who might think that's very sweet. Absolutely. Couldn't we be in a point right now? I write to a bad poem and you might not react the same. I would react the same. Isn't it a matter of where you are in that relationship? Absolutely. And that should tell you about your relationship. If you get turned off by something that another man might, you might love. Yeah, yeah. That's, I get that. Yes. So what is your, what would be your Ic thing? Like what would I feel Icky about with you? What do you think it is? Well, probably just my eating, I think, because I know that I'm a little, I am loud. And my swallowing, I know that I, and I try really hard to not be loud. It's not that. Oh, that's not your Ic for me. Well, it's not just, once you chew the food and the swallowing is not the problem. It's everything that precedes us. All right, I'll do better on that. I'm like, no, but seriously, and I'm trying to eat girl.

31:01I'm still here. I'm trying to think. I'm trying to think what my Ic is about you. What do you think an Ic would be? Somebody would have for. For me? Yeah, who would say, yeah, she's Ic. Every time Roboq does, it was an Ic for me. Turn me off and she did this, this, this, this. Play Candy Crush? Like, I don't know. That might be it might sound, it might seem immature. Like why is someone of your age on your phone playing a game? Damn. I'm trying to think. Do you get the Ic for me? I'm watching Archer and Family Guy. So all of as I'm shaving. This is such a good, this is such a good thing. I'm trying to think like a habit you have that gives me the Ic. The only one that I pointed out to you and I did tell you and you stopped. Like you're kind of amazing at how you just stop. But I told you when you crack your knuckles or you crack your arm that that gave me the Ic. I was like, it's like fingernails on a chalkboard for me. And you said done and you stopped doing it.

32:03Why do they call that? What kind of obsessive? I have a weird thing. You could tell me to stop doing something. I will stop doing it. It's weird. I've never seen anyone be so like effect. Like it's kind of frightening. I will turn that off right now and I will never do it again. And I was like, what? Who can do that and say that? So my that loves you, baby. I guess. But yeah, and I don't, other than that, I cannot think of an egg. Okay, sorry. Anyway, they did want to say before we go, I want to, I think this is important that there are deal breaker eggs that you should be aware of. Road rage, rude distrangers. That could be an indication of deeper issues, deeper mental health issues that you might want to take notice of. But not clapping when the pilot lands. No, that's not an indicator of bizarre. That's positive. Okay. If you don't feel comfortable enough or you don't care enough to address whatever is bothering you, that's assigned to let the relationship go. And I think that's so true because I told you that it annoyed me and you told me that it annoyed you.

33:04And that means we're comfortable. Like we want, I want to be attracted to you. I am. And so it's, if you don't care or you don't feel comfortable, you should probably just move on. And then they say, just make sure you're making a decision to end things from a place of clarity and not fear. Just, they just, they just ask yourself, is there something about this person that I'm afraid that if we got too close, I might be too exposed, too vulnerable and it would be too scary. I just, I thought it was such an interesting thing to think about the IK being a defense mechanism versus a warning sign. And that was just something that I had, I had, I had a therapist tell me many, many years ago and I don't know that it served me well. So I just think it's one of those things where if you notice it, just get curious about it and find out where and why it's happening. Did you have, forgive me for this, missed it. Did you make clear you can get over in it? Yes. And they said, like the number one thing to do is to actually tell your partner, have a conversation.

34:05And sometimes you clap when the plane lands, my skin crawls. Can you please not do that anymore? Depending on where your relationship is, that person is going to take that well or not. And that will tell you just how healthy your relationship is or is not. All right. And with that, everyone, we always appreciate you listening to us. I'm Amy Robock, alongside TJ Holmes. We'll talk to you soon. I'm a new podcast, Solita. We share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering the ride on his motorcycle. I choose option B. I'm Julie Pinero and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. That's in two solita on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your

35:06podcasts. I survived nine months in captivity and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the survivor files. Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the survivor files with the Elizabeth Smart on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're a bookshelf and you're a for you page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet and pop culture with your favorite writers, book top creators and plenty of over thought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed.

36:06Listen to pro society on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Didn't catch the latest Roland Martin unfiltered podcast. Here's what you missed. There should not be a single law enforcement agency that does not have body cameras. It's real. Black farmers have been under attack. This is just the latest example of them just slapping DEI on anything. It's raw. It's a big hit going. They are playing y'all for fools. Catch Roland Martin's daily commentary on the black information networks. And download Roland Martin unfiltered on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts. Or wherever you get your podcasts. College football will hijack your weekend, ruin your sleep and break your heart. And that's why we make the Solid Verbal College football show. I'm Ty Hildenbrand. He's Dan Rubinstein. Every week we preview the games that matter in the story lines that are going to ignite your group chat. And you can join us in the aftermath as we react to what happened, why it matters and how the sport went completely bonkers yet again.

37:07Listen to the Solid Verbal College football show on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an I Heart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.