GUEST: STOP Boring Your Audience! Public Speaking Secrets! 🛑 GUEST!! Bestselling Author and Founder of Speaking School w/Eileen Wilder | Ep. 481

Welcome to do this not that the podcast from markers we share quick tips things

you can do right now and then we add a little bit of chaos at the end of

every episode we also keep it short like this intro let's check it out we are

back for do this not that on I could not be more excited about who is here I'm

being so real so let me tell you who is here and then why I'm so excited so

island wilders here now you may know island wilder because she's one of the

biggest names out there speaking about sales and about how to get people

going and all this stuff but let me tell you really why she's here there's very few times

that I go to a session and see somebody speak that and that's not just because I'm not like

some great speaker or whatever but usually I go to a session I'm like this is so boring

and I do a fake phone call and I want to get out of the room because I can't take it

and I didn't know who island was I'm sitting in this room and she gets up to speak and it blew

my mind she is on she's like on the Mount Rushmore of public speakers of anybody that I've ever seen

speak and we're going to talk today about all of that but her story is so inspiring because she

didn't like come up the ranks like I'm going to be a public speaker and I'm going to teach people

how to sell and do all this stuff she has the most wild background and for anybody out there that's

like you know what I'm stuck in this one thing I can never do something else

Eileen is here to tell you otherwise she went from being a pastor for 20 years okay and she pivoted

and within just two years she had a multi million dollar business who can do that Eileen can do

that she is here I'm so excited welcome to the show thank you Jay I'm so pumped to be here

so pumped all right so so I did a horrendous job of explaining who you are because I got very

excited I was all over the place can you tell everybody who you are how Eileen became Eileen

yes well primarily Jay I help people you know crush it from stage not be boring and install a

virtual event to accelerate sales now but I'm close to 40 I was a pastor like you said and I was

pastor but I was also super broke so I was living in an apartment a two-bedroom apartment three kids

my husband was over driving just five years ago and since that time and since we learned how to

communicate help other people communicate we've done over about 14 million dollars in sales and now

just growing our business like crazy and helping people like crazy so super fun okay so wait

let's unpack this a little bit you're in your small apartment your husband's driving an uber this is

five years ago this five years ago yep yep five years ago in what happens you wake up you say

stop with the don't deliver the pizza I got a new idea I'm gonna make a lot of money yeah well the

so cool I went to a conference which I love events and so I learned about how to do an event

so like how to host an event and how to speak at that event in a way that you could sell something

especially Jay selling something premium like a coaching consulting offer that was high ticket I

was very nervous to do it my first time and I got six people in my very first event but I learned

how to communicate in a way that caused people to want to buy that's the big difference that I see

between like boring speakers and speakers who crush it is they're able to cause desire from the

audience to want to buy whereas boring speakers are just like lowing everybody to sleep and therefore

zero people want to buy so I learned how to create this desire in the audience to come toward me to

apply to get on the phone and I did a hundred eight thousand dollars in that one event so I did

so I went from like zero nothing to being able to have this skill and then I like did a hundred

eight thousand and I turned to my husband and I was like babe you got to quit Uber tonight we

got to go we're going all in and then so that's what we did yeah so okay so so you went to this

conference you learned how to do it you start doing it and now you're making some money whatever

but let's unpack a little bit for everybody that's listening is everybody that is listening

they might not get on a big stage maybe they present on the zoom maybe they talk to people in

the conference room a small thing or even a group of people at a cocktail party what is you know

the island secrets to number one not being nervous when you speaker or do you always get nervous

and then how do you capture attention fast so people like yeah I want to listen to this person

so good yeah well let me get let's capture attention fast because most people can just with this

one little move they can instantly form more magnetic connection with people and the big speakers

do it from stage two so it's it's a move called going from eye to you so when you meet somebody

normally they'll say something like Jay tell me what you do and you'll be like I and then if we

can make that as short as possible okay like Jay if I ask you Jay what is it what you do what would

you say I have a digital agency and I sell media products yeah perfect and then as soon as Jay's

done saying that sentence if Jay can switch to you and you'll see a great you know networkers

but like what do you do we switch to you as fast as possible that's the key to engagement there

have been studies that show that the brain lights up when it hears the word you and this is what most

speakers are not doing from the platform so what does that mean how do you switch to you so when

somebody says what do you do you say you sell digital media products no no sorry so you're like yeah

we're in a digital agency and I sell media products you you could go meet like tell me what you do

or you could say thank you you could say you know how you know how people struggle this is a great

next this is a great like how to follow up and you're like you know how people struggle with getting

their marketing to work well what I do is I install a marketing system inside of businesses that

immediately drives leads or whatever you that makes sense so you're gonna go you know how you know

how or what do you do we're gonna just move to you yeah and is that what you've okay so now you

start out your web presentation your talk would ever say like literally is instantly relatable like

you know you know how you have this thing blah blah blah and everybody's like yeah that's me and

they connect that's the move yeah let me get like so let's let's say you're walking into the

the board room you're walking into the room walking into the platform you're gonna a great first

liner here because now I can't have an individual conversation with Jay I'm gonna go to a to the

whole room I'm gonna say how many of you boom so it's in the first like a couple words there how

many of you were how many of you would like to install a digital marketing machine inside of

your business that's gonna drive sales and leads somebody shout that sounds good you know so we're

just gonna go that's called a universal question universal question just everybody saying yes

okay now immediately you have the room right there so now what now I got the room what do I

gotta do next well what I love to do is um so you want me to kind of walk you through like first

come a moment you're in a presentation yet we're we're gonna go how many of you universal question

and then you this is what I like to say I said like in today's short presentation I'm gonna show

you boom boom so now now the audience is like number one I've I've got command energy so they're

they can relax now they want to feel like every all of us want to know the speaker is not gonna waste

our time yeah hundred percent so and if I have that command energy coming on the stage lowering my

tonality how many of you okay so and then I go in the short presentation everyone loves Jay

a short presentation yes agree you know right so in the short presentation and it is I don't

I don't care if it's not short just say it's gonna be short anyway in a short presentation you're

gonna boom boom boom I show you this this and that's everybody now you can almost see it in the room

exhales everybody's relax we're now we know somebody who knows how to drive the car is driving the car

you know what I mean like when you know you're like you're with a good driver yes you're like

I can relax right okay I love this and so first of all the greatest thing you've ever said is

that tell them it's short even if it's not short because I'm gonna use that because it's so true

I mean that's why this podcast is short but like no one wants anything long it's just

at this particular is too much too much it's like when I go out for dinner my wife be like okay we

have a plan to this couple I go where are we going if it's more than 20 minutes I'm like zero

percent I'm not going not going I'm saying I'm the same yeah too far too far too it's too much too much

too much and so now okay now you go through the thing to get it right going is there like a closing

thing to really close the deal yeah yeah well and I mean in just kind of like a few few kind of

peaks I'd hit after that opening I hit my my origin story of how did I discover this digital marketing

system now we're bought into tell me more now this is where you feel the desire then I'll go into

like how the system works and then as I close I'm gonna probably do a case study something that

worked for me or a student and that just seals it with another story anchors the authority this

dude knows what's up and then what I like to do Jay is I like to close um actually kind of with

like I call the mr. Rogers ending so I close with like a piece of literature that might be well

known it could be like a poem it could be sometimes song lyrics I can give you an example but as I

do that I'll say like in closing and then I'll share something that's meaningful and you can

almost hear the audience at the end of that goal and and then you say thank you so much for having

like having me the audience just stands for feet it's like it's like a performance so wait a

minute what do you what do you close with like a sentence from Pearl Jam what do you mean you close

you know that that might be that should be yours so yeah like what are we closing yeah like um for

instance um there's a um you know I would say pure imagination I'm thinking that you know the movie

will of course yes I'm a gustus galube I like the chocolate okay so Gene wild he sings this song

called pure imagination now almost every child has heard this yes so I'll I'm kind of inspiring

people in my speeches so I'll say in closing I would like to close with this this song from Willy

Wonka's pure imagination and then I go right into it and it's almost like this child like joy

this anchored memory of pure unbelievable like everything's possible feeling comes across the room

so it's like it's emotion what we are trying what we what we want at every peak in valley is

low emotion high emotion this drives the sale wow I like that I like also like Lego movie when they say

everything is awesome I'm gonna use that song that's gonna be my song okay yours gonna be so on

brand unfortunately I bet that's exactly right okay I have another thing I want to talk about but

before I got there do you you were a pastor for 20 years so I feel like you have a cheap code like

you don't get nervous at all and you go on a big stage they're like I've done this four billion

times I don't I don't care or do you still like have to hype yourself up like I do I do people get

over nerves yeah I mean I think some of these people they do say that to me that you think all

your pastor so I mean I think people don't I used to have anxiety attacks even as a pastor so I

went back one time I ran off the stage when they announced me so I've I've seen I've done it all

right so yes I still do get nervous I've learned a couple reframes in my mind that redirect

that nervousness into excitement so for me I have to reframe and I can give you some of those

if that would be helpful but I'm just gonna reframe some of those thoughts so I can tap into an

excited energy rather than a tight rigid pull back fear energy yeah you know what do I

mean I mentioned some of those so yeah yeah please so one of the things is to think about your

audience how the audience has has no idea that what you know but we do not know Jay what you know

and what you know would change our lives so if you as the speaker are backstage and think about

the one person in the audience who was like you 10 years ago and who's like would do anything to

have achieved what it is that you've achieved and to know what it is that you know and to speak

to that one life and think about that life like I am that person's best hope at like achieving

success then you're motivated now it's like we're getting out of ourselves and we're focusing on

them they do not know your content like the lack of the gap between where they are and what you know

is so big they need you so bad so we're just gonna focus on how much they need what it is that you

have and that starts to pull that has a pulling energy rather than a pushing demand energy I love

that I'm gonna use that that's actually really really helpful I so while I still have you there's

one topic in this this is my own consultation right now so I have never been comfortable I want to

get comfortable selling like products if you will content products or selling like access to videos

or whatever all that stuff that whole world I've always felt like I should give that away for

free and then I'll sell my business services whatever I love to be I'm being honest I'd love to

be in that business but I feel nervous asking people to spend a lot of money on stuff I feel like

this is crap and it's not worth it and and whatever how how do you get over that how do you

get over that and is that a real thing and and and like this is your world you're selling these

products how do you do it yeah I I built up conviction but it was when I realized that your

information in your mind has like inherent intrinsic value on its own aside from you so

differentiating like taking almost what it is that you know you know Jay like this is my energy

drink right but like it's outside of you your system your knowledge your consultative experience

your steps your frameworks is separate from you it is not you it's not and you're not even 100%

attached to that delivery your knowledge has intrinsic value and this intrinsic value if somebody

gets it is could move the needle significantly in their business so that I'm gonna I'm gonna focus

my mind on this entered like the results of this once it hits someone's business how much could

how much could let me ask you this how much could you like your framework like accelerate revenue

or drive sales in a business a lot a lot yes what would be if you were to brag for a second what

would be like a bit a client that you've worked with or accompany that like really experienced a

big result yeah they they've seen multiple you know multiple seven figure revenue growth from like

just a handful of sessions okay that's nuts right and I and but that's and I'm like here here's

my information and so that's why I'm like I'm not playing the game right well then look so a great

move for everybody listening is to have a VIP day like just one day like what could you do with

a business and one day and then what I'll do is I'll I'll kind of like price anchor that day

really high and then also just give people like a special deal like normally I charge blah blah blah

for a VIP day normally I charge now this isn't like say we're over well over six figures like normally

I charge that here but for you I could do this at this price let me give you an example so my

VIP day J is $250,000 whoa what do you get for that what do you get for that well before I tell you

what you're gonna get one day of my time for me yeah I know and then I'll say now for you in this

situation I'm gonna I'm gonna let you into my VIP day for a hundred thousand dollars down and

25% of the revenue for the first six months pause which option works better for you well definitely

the cheaper one but I have a very real question first of all you're worth a million dollars or

more don't get me wrong but like do people do it yeah so yes I mean I just yep yeah I mean I just

sold I was just on a private jet with four of them together doing a group VIP day so I can

ask you a question now I feel like I'm gonna one on one call with you do you just when you promote

that do you send out an email to your list of people saying hey you want to hang it for a day

give me a hundred grand like and then you get people say yes I do I mean there was a quote I heard

from my friend Myron Golden who said the offer you don't make no one can take right so if nobody

knows about the offer isn't made no one can pay you that amount right so what I've done is like

voice memo drafts so like I'll record a voice memo and then it gets blasted out to my hot hot

warm leads and it'd be like hey lean's got a jet coming like a jet trip coming up if you'd like

to take us up on this like kind of hop on this one we'll go to a call with somebody on the team yeah

so I mean you can swipe that aside the the point is your knowledge Jay your eye on the right

avatar the right business could produce multiple millions without you having to do anything wow

like imagine you met with their whole team their whole marketing team like say you know what I mean

like they had like a TMO or maybe C-suite whoever I don't know a bunch of people like look at their

I don't know you know you're you're doing I'm going through the whole business in that VIP day

like do this dude now you gotta do this install this here blah blah blah you know like you could

you would crush well thank you well I'm excited first of all I'm excited about you being here I

learned a lot this is all amazing look everybody's gotten get involved here so I lean wrote a book

it's called move the room okay if you it's not just about speaking on stage if you ever have to

talk to a small team on the zoom if it's to talk people in a conference room if you have to go

to a cocktail party if you're nervous about going to Thanksgiving and talking to annoying relatives

move the room will help you I promise you Eileen Wilder we're going to put all of her stuff

in show notes Instagram the whole thing Eileen what else should people do to get consumed in your

world oh so thank you Jay move the room book dot com is where you can grab it's free it would

cover the cost of the book and use people's paper shipping so it's our gift to you so move the

room book dot com yeah that's amazing I every time we get to spend time together I learn a lot I

get excited thank you you are wonderful and I appreciate everything you share thank you Jay

thanks for having me all right wait the party is not over go to j schwettleson dot com because I

want to do stuff with you I want a partner with you when you click on the button partner with j

you let me know what you got going on work with my agency work with me directly get access to all

of my free resources at j schwettleson dot com and I got a book coming out this April it's called

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