Healing After Childhood Trauma: Healthy living through adversity pt 7

Willow Creek Springs presents

Healthy Living with your host Joe Grumbine

Well, hello, and welcome to the Healthy Living podcast. I'm your host Joe Grumbine and today

We're gonna be diving into another episode of Healthy Living Through adversity

I've got one with me and we're gonna jump right on into it one. Welcome to the show. How are you doing today?

I am doing great Joe. Always a pleasure to be on your show, especially in this situation and

You know spreading this information out and being a part of the solution. So there's this no

greater experience for me at this time. Well, you know, it's wild. We

I believe this is our seventh episode we've done and

We covered a lot of ground and

I've learned a lot actually

Through this and we've actually brought in I

Don't know. I think I've at least scheduled half a dozen new guests that came from listening to this series and

It's a it's a powerful conversation, you know, we're talking about trauma and

Dealing with it and you know, we've jumped into some different topics that were all

centered around adversity

But the central theme about this and all of these issues even

You know the conversation about cancer. That's certainly a trauma. I can assure you that

Yeah, and we've been really getting into you know your personal experience

You've been very candid and vulnerable and sharing, you know, some of your life's experience and last

episode we talked about some of the poems that you've put out

That you put into into song form and and

You were really getting into

Going through the lyrics going through the verses and what they mean and and what's your thoughts on how we've been doing so far

I am completely satisfied this call and your telephone numbers will be monitored and recorded

You know from from you know, this is a subject that's very you know

It hits home with me because you know one

I've been on both ends of the spectrum now, you know, I was that

traumatized child and now I'm on the healing end of it and so I know about all of the

Confusions of depression the anxiety the isolation

You know not feeling safe around people and you know just wanting to hide and be invisible

You know not trusting not knowing how to have healthy relationships with people

Being disconnected from everyone around me and just like not even being a connection with my own body

And so it's like I was almost like it just floating, you know, and so

You know understanding all of that when I started my healing journey

You know, it was really you know just for myself because you know at nighttime

We are the ones that have to sleep in our we I have to sleep in my own head right I have to go to sleep with this head this brain of my

and

If it's full of depression and by 80 and confusion and all these different things

It was just making my life so much different, you know, it was so difficult

And so now that I began that healing journey and did begin to to heal and find that piece

It created this obligation like I have to tell someone like I have to tell people about

Like there is healing out there

You do you're not stuck like that

You know you're like it all makes sense if you connect the dots if you can be

The reasons enough to go back and look at some of those wounded places and just

Be for yourself now

Give yourself that tender loving care now that you should have been

If you can get all that

You'd begin to find that closure and that peace and that healing and so there's an obligation for me and and so

It's an honor just to know that you know like we say even if one person, you know was to find something worth

That made their life better. This is all the worth it. So

I'm definitely satisfied with it and this we're gonna keep swinging away and

You know, hopefully we'll reach more people

Well

Last week we or last episode I should say

We were talking about secrets and

Yeah, the the propensity for people

That have a trauma like you're talking about, you know, that's high a high ACE score

The more likely they are to to not share it, you know

For various reasons and it sounds to me like now you kind of

Swung that around 180 degrees and you know instead of

You know living this world of secrets and lies and and and not being accountable

You're doing exactly the opposite and you're you're not only sharing you know your secrets, but you're

Explaining how important it is and how valuable it is for others to do the same

Yeah

Yeah, you know and and and one of our workbooks we it was talking about how many of us

We don't want to talk about you know say all of our past is too painful to talk about and to go into

And it was shedding light on the fact that hey rather you talk about your past is not it's still controlling your life

Right, it is it is playing such a major role in

Every decision that you're making right now. So for me

Once I came to that realization like hey not talking about this is not going to solve the problem

And actually it it creates the problem, you know, it makes the problem even worse

And so

This understanding that part I like using an example of like

Imagine I look at trauma like alcohol poisoning

You know and

You know if you once you once you consume enough too much alcohol to the point

The words now it's poisoning you

Imagine someone who refused to throw up

Right because of the shame or whatever right they didn't like I'm not gonna throw up

Well, it's like well, if you don't throw up you're gonna keep that poison inside your body and it's gonna kill you

Exactly

Your body trying to protect yourself and get that poison out of it

Exactly now as unpleasant as vomiting may be

It is still a

It's an attempt by your body to save you

And so

Because you have done something foolish right you consume this this this poison to the level that it was toxic and so

That's how I look at trauma and and me and my previous I say my previous life or with my old brain

For say I wasn't that person refusing to throw up

I was that person refusing like I just you know just keeping it down keeping it all that poison inside of me and not talking about it

And so it makes just as much sense to not talk about your trauma

Which as we know that doesn't make sense at all right, so if you just look at that

That's why

Now it's kind of like I know I went on to I had once

Went to a rap

So they were doing this audition and I submitted one of my songs and I was talking about

Some of my traumas and some of the hip hop rappers that was there and it was like why would he talk about that? Why would he say that you know

And it's like it almost it's like it almost traumatized them by here

So

Right, but you know, it was really but it just shows like I understand what they were at too because I understand of most likely

Chancellor a lot of horrific things happened to them that they have not

Came to the place where they wanted to talk about

Well, you know

Not that long ago I did another second interview with Megan McDrew

and as you know

Program into the prison and

It involves a lot of people. Yeah

a lot of volunteers and a lot of discussion about traumatic things

And just have the impact of this with you know

Part of the whole healing element is to find a way to understand or

or

Be a part of a healthy relationship and

Yeah, volunteers come in and sit down and you know, they have this sort of ritual that they do

about how the program starts and and and

Does the program and then completes it she says, you know some real real relationships happen and

It's it's a powerful experience to

Watch how people start to open up and and to let their guard down a little bit when when that sort of thing happens

Yes, so as you know, I don't know if I shared with you. I believe I did

But I just so I just finished one of her cycles here, you know

Um, it's the 23rd with our last class. I just sat in there

And let me just say man, it's like again, so I'm the I'm the recipient of everything that she's talking about. I'm one of the recipients

Right and as someone in here

Okay, so the most powerful thing about her program what I love is understanding first you got to understand that every one of us have been judged as bad people

Right, and so with that

Judgment of being bad people from the dehumanization and

Not being treated like you're human and being treated less than human

And that becomes our norm as we go through this legal system

Okay, and so for a program like that

Where we go and sit down with people who see our humanity

They're not concerned with why you're this call and your telephone number will be monitored and recorded

They're not concerned with how bad you were they're not concerned with any of that

They're just concerned about the human being and seeing the human being that's in front of them and understanding how

We have been hurt to the point to where we can hurt someone else

And for most of us

No one has ever taken this time to hear our story

They have just

All of a sudden look at it heard some things about what the legal system said we did

Oh, he committed this crime and all of a sudden formulated these opinions about where we are

but never

As that actual connection to say hey like like Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey say in their book what what happened to you

No one bothered to even understand to have that much empathy and compassion to say know what happened

You know you're not you weren't born like this none of us was born just violet

Right, you know, and we didn't choose where we were born to and things like that

So to me when you look when it's to look into the eyes of her volunteers

And I've had the opportunity to sit down with several of them

And right before we graduated a couple of them came to me and say one I was really touched by what you shared and

It just I can't even explain it and to me that was just I felt the healing in it. I just feel

I felt the healing

Well, remember I don't know it was last episode of the episode before I told you about the guest who was a counselor up in

Indiana and he had that mosaic program where

You know his whole concept of it was that we're not

We don't associate ourselves just because of a single

episode or incident or trauma that's happened to us like you know

I'm a quote-unquote cancer survivor, but I don't identify myself as that. I don't put that as

I'm a human being that happened to go through an experience that

You know was part of it, but that's that's a no way who I am and unfortunately

You know if you get stuck in the legal system and you get convicted of a crime

That becomes your label, you know, you're a whatever

You know that thing that you got convicted of and and many people I think attached themselves to that as you know

Who they are at this point and I know a lot of people do that and and treat people differently like you said

Dehumanize I know the the period of time I was locked up. It was all about you know dehumanizing the whole the whole

You know, I was just a county jail system, but that was all about, you know, you're not a human. You're you're a prisoner. You're an inmate

and

It didn't matter what you did or who you were, you know, they're the whole

The whole system in there was set to make everybody the same and that was less than everybody else

And I can't imagine what you know, it's like in other places, but I think to have a

A program where they focus on the humanity and they focus on you know the

The malleability of the human spirit and that you know, we have the ability to

Better ourselves to to change to you know, maybe we had a bad moment. Maybe we did a thing or

Maybe we had a thing done to us, but that doesn't identify us as a human being

I think he's dropped off for a second, but he'll be coming back on and

Come back. Come back now. Perfect. Perfect. So yeah, I was just talking about how

the

A lot of times we identify ourselves or get identified because of an event or

You know a series of events something that we did or something we overcame or something we didn't overcome and

We ended up getting attached or attaching ourselves to that you know, sometimes a a person who did something good

Even you know, I was a football player in high school. I mean, they don't ever get past that like you know

They don't go on with their life. They did this one thing and that's who they are now or they went through a bad thing

You know, I got in a crash. I got paralyzed or I got a disease or whatever it is and you know, they say oh, I'm this person. I'm like

What

You're a human that's lived this whole life and you're you're attaching yourself to this one thing like

Who died? Yeah, but everybody does that. It seems

Yeah, I mean, it's like

We don't know how

Magnificent we are assuming

Exactly, you know, and so we like reduce ourselves to like this very

limited

Like understanding of like

Who we are through what we do and so that's what like you know for me

Come into the realization of like you know looking at all my experiences like a book

And it all makes sense to me, you know, we look at so I mean it

Almost every man that I sit in group with kind of has the same story

you know, and

We're talking about like eight or nine aces and it's easy for someone who hasn't walked in the shoes of

Experiencing those eight or nine aces to say what we should or should not have done and what is or is not appropriate

But until you actually experience

Like the loss of sense itself the loss of trust the loss of safety the loss of connection to your own body the loss of how do you find yourself out of that whole when there is no manual

You know, and it's kind of like it's it's it's one of those things where we just lost empathy for other people and and the ability to even

sympathize with what they've been through

to the point where we just

You know project our own experiences

Onto them

Imagining that oh well, I would have somehow did something different if I would experience the exact same stuff as you

And actuality may have done something way worse

And so that's worth to me, you know

It's not about and you know this would be clear

You know

This is about healing from our trauma. It's not about you know

Having a pity party or you know trying to get people to feel sorry for us or anything like that. It's not about that

But at the same time it's like you have to understand what you've been through

In order to know it's like that awareness you have to become aware of it

In order to know

Or to heal it because how can you heal what you're not aware of

You know and so for people like that that

You know

Judge people are labeled people because of these things. It's just like they haven't come to a understanding of like just how

Every one of us is different. I can experience the trauma and someone else experience the trauma

Yeah, they may do something different. They may do something better. They may do something worse

But we're all different

And so when it comes to trauma

We don't need to hold the person responsible

For the trauma that they experience and and not being able to manage it well enough because remember we were kids when it's happened to us

And how that stuff affected our brains and things like that like we were children when these things happen

So it's kind of like insensitive with someone even be on the judgmental level of saying well why did this person you know do xyd

Like that we were children

We were children who

Yeah, we're experienced the worst stuff back in our human being can experience

And you wonder why we make terrible decisions in our teams and our young adults

I don't even know how that's surprising and you know the thing that nobody ever seems to get identified with

is

the characteristic of

I picked myself back up off the floor and kept walking I

I

Realized that I failed and I got up and started to give I

What's called and your telephone number will be monitored and recorded

I made a decision to do the right thing like we don't ever get identified with that

And that's the truth about the human experience is that's the one thing that

We have as a gift is that every day

We choose who we're going to be

And we're not stuck being yesterday and but I don't ever hear anybody identifying with that

You know, I think that that's the thing. Well, I definitely want to talk about

Another one of your poems and you know, that's actually been published as as a song

And I know you were gonna get into the lyrics of of that and why don't why don't we jump into that a little bit

Absolutely, so this one is called at first childhood experiences

And this is like this is the heart of like my song. This is my heart. I mean all my songs are like my children

My don't love one more than the other but

This one it definitely represents like when I

When I first became aware of aces

and so

I was in the substance abuse program

And this guy had given me this packet about adversality experiences

Now prior to this I was actually my therapist. I was like, hey, how can I know

How my you know childhood experiences had affected me

How could I know if I heal

Hey, you know

And we're on or one of my at in that process

You know, am I in the middle of my healing am I at the end? How can I you know, you measure this and so

My therapist here in the prison they had no they they were not

Yeah, you know, and it was so sad because you're thinking about

I mean think about that the therapist in the prison was not equipped to answer that question

And here I am in the princesses then who supposed to

Their own their apartment title was california departments of rehabilitation

The direction that rehabilitation right and so I'm like what's a therapist can't answer that question

Then where am I supposed to get this question answered

Yeah, and so thank god for fritzy horoscope

And so I took the she came into the prison maybe about

Because October of 2022 my went to her seminar and she started talking about these

These aces here, which I had already

seen the survey I taken the survey

And I remember when I was taking a survey I was like this is

One test that I did not want to score 100% on right and it was we

It was rewarding to be honest with you because I finally got the answers to the questions

Okay, that was looking for but it didn't again at the same time. It was painful

because

For the first time in my life, I was able to see all of what I went through

And that was the first time and I remember like my eyes getting tear like tearing up

But it was that bittersweet

You know, I was a little relieved, but it was painful too at the same time

And so

And I do what I normally do I wrote this song

To help get out some of that pain

And so this song was the result of that and

So I'll share first the chorus

I wish I knew then about ac because eight out of ten of them applied to me

No fool be worth mom got beat

prisons put down. I got beat unloved and unwanted fondling

Please tell someone about ac

hurt people hurt people obviously

We become a product of what we see

And

The critical thing about this one is notice I say eight out of ten so when I initially wrote this I thought I had eight

And it turns out later on as I became

Yeah, it turns out I had nine that went up one. Yeah, the more that I have this call and your telephone number will be monitored and recorded

Okay, so that's the chorus the verse

I

Witness pops beat moms with a close shift

Even though I was young. I would never forget

I became a product of ACE

Generational trauma plague with ADD the fuel and my gas tank was power and control from a early stage

I was set to explode

People became objects so I could harm them unaware of the psychological scars. I caused them

Locked in my own head burly surviving. I fell the second grade of choosing not trying try harder one

Don't let those mind drift prostituting so hard. I made my eyes squint my shift bell wrong

Before I could catch it great so bad. I didn't deserve presence

These and S from elementary to high school high school dropout to live by no rules

And so

Back to the beginning of that

So in the beginning of this first verse. I wouldn't have popped beat moms with a close fifth even though I was young

I would never forget

I became a product of ACE

Venerational trauma plague with ADD

So this was the toxic stress

Now this is just one example of denying aces

And so this was toxic stress

The the bear as we talked about in previous episodes and like our first episode

The bear that comes home every night and releases and and and so my body is releasing this quarter's all

right constantly

Okay

Now the fuel in my gas tank was power and control from a early stage. I was set to explode

So what sets the stage to explosion is being alone with the hurt and again

These are from our previous episodes being alone with the hurt

So as a child not having someone there after I experienced this dramatic event

Not having someone there to help me process it

So I was there alone with the hurt

I

Absorbing the energy of my abusers

Right

We talked about that in previous episodes how you absorb the energy of your abusers

Abandoning my authentic self

Of the fracture self that comes forward

The pushing down of emotion

Becoming what others want us to be for the sake of attachment

It's so this this pushing down

Right, this is this is this is the this is that explosive cocktail

They all these things that we're talking about and all this causes depression anxiety confusion numbness

lack of emotional intelligence

And the inability to describe how I feel and that's what creates the bomb

Okay

People became objects so I could harm them unaware of the psychological scars I caused them

And as we mentioned again and then one of our first episodes from a creative disconnect within the body

The mind thoughts emotions and other people

And and what we the goal is to try to reconnect to ourselves

And until we do that there is no safe place like no matter where we're at it just doesn't feel like a safe place

Hey

Locked in my own head barely surviving

I fell the second grade accused of not trying try harder ones don't let your mind drift concentrating so hard

I made my eyes quit my shift bell run before I could catch it

Great so bad. I didn't deserve present

These and ask them elementary to high school high school dropout to live by no rules and these are the symptoms of trauma

So

by hypervisual

dissociation

So the constriction in the body the prescription in the body

Was the narrowing of the perception right you have 60 seconds remaining

By our bodies make us focus on the threat and only the threat so it's made it's hard to learn at school

Right fillings of helplessness and mobility

Hypervisuals other names shame mental blankness is spaced out filling addictive behaviors

inability to love nurture a bond with other individuals the minute emotional responses

I had asthma depression fillings of intending doom fillings of detachment alienation and isolation

Reduce ability to formulate plans

And that's how all of this affected me

You

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Well

That's that's some powerful stuff

I

It's hard to comprehend you know you you put down a lifetime

Full of issues into a few lines and it's it's a lot it's a lot to take on

And yet at the same time you know if you just listen to it and you think about it you probably are likely to identify with some

Well at least some of the elements of it, you know, we've a lot of times

pieces of this puzzle

Our pieces that are part of our own puzzles and you know, I think

Lyrics like this can cause people to

Take a stock account of maybe something that they haven't dealt with

You know, I'm sure that's at least part of the intent of

Publishing this and put it out there so people can hear it, you know, obviously you're expressing yourself

And you're sharing your story, but at the same time

My guess is that at least at least one probably many people that have heard this have

Picking a minute and gone wow, you know, I identify with that whatever piece or pieces is right

Yeah

I

I think you dropped off so well, oh you still I thought you dropped off sorry

Apologize well, we'll we'll clip this little part and we'll we'll we'll see him it back together

So where are we at now with with with the lyrics

Okay, so

That was the first verse

So now I wrote the second verse and the second verse is

It's from a poem and forgive me I don't I don't know the author's name

I heard it in group and it's called he brought me flowers today

And so this poem reminded me of the domestic violence that my that my father had put on my mother

And so

This this poem again when I when I am motivated is just I didn't choose to write this

But I'm inspired to write it just it just slowed out and so this poem

I heard this poem at the same time that I came across the aces in it

So this is just how I write and how I express myself and this is my healing

So the second verse

says

That are bottles

Which contains the press emotions

Build up an explosion the cycle of violence

The honeymoon is when abusers bring home flowers

There'll be peaceful a couple of hours

Never mind the bruises crack with black eyes this time you promise me we'll never do it again

What about the kids you must stay for them huh

What if you get murdered in front of them then what

I know you don't think that that can happen

Either that the dead wife lying in the casket

When is enough for enough one time is too much it escalates from there it gets worse

From verbal abuse to tone search then comes the choking in the hips leaving marks with an open palm or close this

The problem is he doesn't see a woman. He sees an object that is hit

If you say you can go in his behavior

I know you're afraid to leave and it's easy to stay or please don't think just leave

I

Imagine that

I imagine that applies to so many people. I think that that's a piece like

Some of the the elements are

Of the first verse weren't super specific about you know the thing that you went through but more the effects of it

this is really getting

specific and and

It's a thing that I think a lot of kids have gone through you know

and are dealing with somehow and

It's it's a it's a rough one, you know because it it's something that

A lot of times kids might blame themselves

For behavior of you know their parents their loved ones the the ones they're supposed to look up to and respect

Or you know who knows there's all different ways it could go

Yeah, I mean that's one of the most important things that you know for and I and I hope that if there is a lady or men can be experienced

It's a bit part of violence as well either party whoever is being abused

I hope they I hope they understand I hope they understand that

You know the children are witnessing this

And as much as as much as the parent may think that they're as much as the parent may think like they're trying to protect the child

You know by standing this relationship or you know they have to understand that the child is equally being a victimized

and more so

Because of the adverse childhood experience and how that's going to affect the child and why are the children

Brain in the future right

And so that was kind of the most important piece is it's just for women or men whoever's being abused this don't minimize this

Don't think that it's going to get better

Don't minimize it, you know, it's a very serious issue. It escalates as the poem says

and the stuff up in the and the actual poem

The lady said her husband bought her flowers today

And it was after he had beat her right

And then it got to the point to where the last time he actually bought her flowers it was so funeral right

Yeah, and so

That's the that's the importance of this is just to

Advocate for anyone who is in a do an abusive relationship

Not to stay in that relationship not to expect it to get any better

And do the right thing which is to leave

100% 100% I

It breaks my heart every time I hear about a couple that's

You know got some kind of a violent history and the stand together for the kids. It's like

What does that even mean

Right

Yeah

Yeah, that's that conflict right it's those opposing views and

I mean, I would imagine if if any father

You know who has a daughter that's in an abusive relationship

Would not want his daughter to stay in that abusive relationship for the sake of

Children, you know, and in fact

If you're going to think about the welfare of the children it would say you have to leave

It would have to say that you have to protect the children by getting them out of this

Abuse of environment not keeping them inside of it

right

You know and especially when you think about how the child brain

learns

You know and in certain things that could you know again of gobbling

Of gobbling the the the power of our abusers

You know, and as they see that

Defending on the age of the child they may learn that that is the way

That man are supposed to treat women. Yeah, or that is the way that women are you know whoever's the abuser

Right, they learn that that's the way that yeah, that's the way that you know a relationship that's supposed to work

It's all they know and that's not

Yeah, and that's not no, that's not how

You know, and I came up with I have a river dealing with women

Who if you if if if they expect it because I didn't hit them. I didn't love them

Yeah, geez wow, you know, and that's

Yeah, yeah, that's that's that's that was a real thing

Wow, and it's like

Wow, I mean can you imagine that let's call and your telephone number will be monitored and recorded

Yeah, you would imagine that type of psychology and it's very real. Yeah, wow

Yeah

Okay, so the whole purpose of this song if I hope that the ace of song becomes the game changer

For me like I said I wish I knew then

About AC to me. It became it became like this cry because I was like

How much

Different my life would have been how do I actually have this information?

And oh

absolutely

And too often most of our story is we don't get this type of

Resources until we come to prison

And the whole push

Is to get this information out there into society to people like us

Before they come to prison to interrupt this cycle of having to come to prison

To get this information in these resources

You know, and it's like well if we can send this back out there

And that's part of what we're doing and what you're helping me do is give me these resources back out there

You know and to people who can actually use them

You know before

It's too late

You know, there's going to come a day where somebody's going to come to me or you or somebody who knows us

And says you know

I want to share with you that

I made a change in my life that likely

kept me from

Going down that road and and somehow equating it to this song or or one of the other poems that you put out

Imagine how that's going to make you feel

You know, I tell you at times I struggle with my vulnerability and I shedding tears and crying

If I ever hear somebody say that I guarantee you I am going to cry

I try

I was going to cry and be so

Relieved that like yes, I got ahead of it. I got ahead, you know, it's different. Yeah for the most

Yeah to know you made a difference in someone's life and

You know to me, there's no greater reward. I mean, I sit in the group

Throughout my throughout my week on Sunday. I have about 40 something participants

On Thursday, I have about

25 participants

So throughout my week, I'm at about 60 60 70 participants, right? I'm sitting groups about 70 people. Okay

and

Those are 70 people that I get to go through this whole cycle with

And I'm just looking for him. We're on our third

We're on a third third quarter right now and

I just look at like

Just one two three of these guys, you know, if it's making a difference

Yeah, like we're going to get to somebody

Well, hey somebody's life the odds are if you keep at it putting this message out you're getting

You know better and better practicing your messaging, you know, that's what you're doing right now. I mean

Everybody who who keeps trying to help

They keep talking and they keep talking and they get better at sharing their thoughts and

Each time you put it out there, you know, this this podcast is out there like a lighthouse beacon

You know, once it gets published, it's it's out there forever and you just never know that one person in need

That one time might stumble upon it and just happen to catch a part that that made a difference and you know

You you publish your song and it's on whatever platform somebody decides. Ah, let me download that. That sounds interesting

Next thing, you know

You know, they catch it in their head. They're listening to it a couple of times and you know, next thing

You know, they start thinking about those words and who knows, you know something some little piece of it stick so

What you're doing what we're doing yeah is is is powerful and I believe you know

We're having this one conversation one time, but it echoes out there for you know for virtually eternity

It'll it'll be out there for

People to find and hear and hopefully listen to

You

Yeah, you know, as I hear you talk it reminds me the law of nature

And the law of nature and essentially, you know, and the bible says that all labor produces profit

And just like you plan a seed in the ground. It's gonna bear fruit

And what I thought about is it's like just like my actions one day my actions

They harmed people

sure and

I would think that my those like my actions today they heal people

Hey, and it's all about the effort in the direction

Right, so I won't I won't be

I won't be naive to think oh, I'm good enough

To harm someone, but I'm not good enough to heal someone

Right, I don't want to think that of myself

Right on the the opposite is true. It's like well

If I'm powerful enough to actually harm someone then I have to be just as powerful to help someone heal

exactly

And so that's kind of like where I'm at today. It's like well

It's it's just the influence that we have on people and all of us have that effect

On people it's how do we choose to spend our efforts? Do we spend our efforts in harming someone or do we spend our efforts in helping someone

And so now this is you have 60 seconds remaining

This is the direction that we're moving in

This is what should define someone

And I think if someone ever wants to label someone then you label them according to what they are doing today

You know in the green more I think is a person

I think that's a message

Yeah, I mean, I think that I think that you know

What's called and or telephone number will be monitored and recorded

Getting people to to realize that today

Is the day that defines you

And and if you can realize that then you can decide

Oh, well, this is what I'm going to do today then and I'm going to define myself today

Yes, exactly

And I would encourage all your listeners if if someone is if someone is being helped by this

Please contact Joe and let them know that what he's

A hundred percent I think he just dropped off. We'll clip this up and we'll go back to that thought to wrap it up

But yeah, this is this is

Amazing I can almost feel that it's going to happen sooner than we think

I think

Somebody's going to hear this and somebody's going to go wow, you know what

I'm going in a direction. I

I heard this thing and I heard them talk about it and I

I realized something about myself and I'm going to I'm going to go work on it, you know if it

I imagine that's the whole point right? Yeah, yeah, I mean I can I can picture that happening like sooner than later

And somebody knows and it'd be a message or maybe they come on as a guest and say, you know, I was listening to this one show

and

It got me thinking and next thing you know, I decided to okay. All right. Let's let's let's rewind that

Well, we'll clip this together, but let's let's go back to that central thought

Oh, okay, what's that with that?

It's talking about yeah, it's today you have a you have a choice to define yourself

Yeah, so I was saying before hung up like if if if someone is listening to this and you're in there being helped

By this podcast like please

Reach out

The Joe and let Joe know that what this podcast is helping you

But you'll be helping us by just get you'll be giving back to us and just knowing that we are helping you in that

And that sense in that regard and to that extent, you know, I think

Not only Megan the Drew she she's helped me with the horseman and there's a lot of other people better

Has came to my rescue and hopefully I can be that or someone out there

100% well, why this has been another riveting conversation once again, we're going to go way too long, but it's okay

Uh, it's it's good

We're getting so deep into this stuff that it's worth it, you know, usually I clip these things down to less than 30 minutes

But we we keep rolling almost double that but it's okay. I think I think we're we're getting into things that are so important

They need to be discussed in the conversation needs to come to a completion. Well, this is

Really a powerful song of powerful message and like like we said, you know, if somebody feels that they've been touched by this

And listen to these lyrics and and got them thinking, you know, please reach out. Let us let me know

And you know, maybe come on as a guest and tell us about your experience

Well, one I I'm so grateful that we're doing this we had another great one

And I'm looking forward to jumping into the next one

Yes, thank you very much, Joe and like I said

Just so your listeners know we're getting ready to launch our our record label this year

And you'll be kind enough to partner up with this and to help us out with those endeavors

So I just want to let your listeners know the only lookout for some more of our music

Beautiful. I'm looking forward to telling everybody about it

Well, this has been another episode of the Healthy Living Podcast. I'm your host Joe Grumbon

I want to thank all of our listeners for making the show possible and this series healthy living through adversity

And we will see you next time

Here you go

This has been another episode of the Healthy Living Podcast

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