How Can I Take Care of Myself While Raising Explosive Children?

In this Parent Lean in episode, Margaret and I answer the following question from a listener:

I’m a single parent, neurodivergent myself and in burnout. I’m trying to manage my two neurodivergent kids following a divorce from their much beloved but profoundly limited ex -husband. I’m trying to create a safe, stable household and support my own fragile mental health and grief while working full -time. Self -care sounds great and whereas I understand deeply that it’s the only way forward, it feels impossible. (Context: Two children, ages 9 and 11 year old. They take out their anger on each other and the household feels explosive.)