₿HS025: Protecting Parent-Child Relationships with Seb Bunney

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We can’t control lobbying or money printing but we can control what we do at home.  Foster your parent-child bonds.  Protect them from the hidden costs of money on the family.

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN:

• Our monetary environment plays a role in our parents’ ability to show up authentically.
• For example, when parents have to work their ass off to try to support the family’s financial needs, it can lead to kids not getting their emotional needs met.
• The latter leads to yet other secondary, tertiary issues.
• Seb’s book “Hidden Cost of Money” has entire chapter on the family unit.
• Seb describes how money is like language, it communicates information.  It’s a “medium of expression,” not just a medium of exchange.
• Like language, money can also be censored.
• An example is capital controls in China.  A father who cannot store his capital for his family, cannot express his support for his family.
• The ability to express ourselves is vital for kids, for parents.
• Everyone’s time preference is impacted by money, and not for the better.  The loss of purchasing power through inflation is decreasing the focus on building long term security for one’s family and increasing the focus on impulsive, consumer-based decisions.
• Meaninglessness sets in as the rising cost of living makes it more and more challenging to plan.  In psychological terms, the locus of control is shifting from internal to external.  This leads to poor health outcomes.
• People get stuck at the bottom layer of the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs because money is broken and their purchasing power melts.  They therefore have harder and harder time moving up to self-actualization.  This reduces altruism and compassion to give back.
• Tali challenges if there isn’t a silver lining in how bad our money is broken.  For example, one of America’s greatest strengths, a strive for individualism, is also our great weakness, e.g., spiritual wealth.  Perhaps this will bring extended families back together.
• There are compounding negative impacts for kids: stress of the mother during pregnancy, poor diet, less time with parents.
• The world is not black and white.  Other factors are the medical system, social media, and lobbying, e.,g. big pharm.  Their incentives are not aligned with a low time preference strategy on health where we would address chronic illnesses decades before they become urgent.
• Comparing and contrasting the western and eastern views of life, health and death.
• Tali brings it back to the family level.  We can’t control lobbying.  We can’t control money printing.  But we can control what we do at home, i.e., keeping a positive mental attitude and sharing positive energy.
• Before a child is even born, it is impacted by the mother’s stress, e.g., stress hormones.  And money is one the largest sources of stress.  
• When kids are motivated and passionate about something, their capacity to learn is exponentially greater.  Therefore, if a child shows an interest in something, allow and encourage them to pursue it.
• Kids needs to have some outlet in the physical or sport realm. 
• What do you value?   Comparing and contrasting the 3 P’s (power, prestige, possession) versus the 3 C’s (contributions, challenges, connections).
• There are decisions you can make that you a better parent.  Teaching critical thinking is one of those.
• There is a spectrum of protecting kids.  On one side is “share everything”.  On the other is extreme nurturing.  Understanding this framework helps think through what and