I recently bought lots of Beatles records. (+ 18 more dad jokes!)

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My optician skewed my spectacle prescription.

He was so ashamed that he hasn't seen Ito-I with me since then.

When is the door not a door?

When it's unhinged and Kate Winslet is using it to float in the freezing Atlantic ocean.

Or when it's a jar.

You don't have to be faster than the bear.

You just have to be faster than anyone else on the hike.

What do you call a small child who gets an advantage to having daytime sleeps because

of their parent?

A napo baby.

A guy saw an ad for a property for lease and he called the number and the owner answered

and asked you calling about the lease.

And the caller said, yeah, so at least 10,000, 20,000?

How much?

You never hear about railroad winners or losers.

Only railroad ties.

I saw a woman who had marched madness teeth down to the final four.

I recently bought lots of Beatles records.

Someone said I need help but I already have it.

Remember when Botox used to be kind to taboo?

Now nobody even raises an eyebrow.

Light travels faster than sound.

That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

I got fired from a restaurant job because I couldn't slice the condiments properly.

I was unable to cut the mustard.

What word becomes longer when you remove two letters?

Longer word.

More dad humor awaits right after this short break.

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On eBay the lamps will sweater I got was a fake.

I got fleeced.

Did you hear about the young butterfly who spent all its time volunteering around town?

It was a caterpillar of the community.

Which breakfast food has life figured out?

The pancake.

The chest had a talk with the spine.

They turned around and said, I'll call you back.

Why are giraffe nicks so long?

Because their heads are so far away from their bodies.

The noises would bothers me most about the mafia.

Why do they have to make such a racket?

I'm Montgomery Jones, listen until the end of the episode for a bonus joke.

We're on a mission to spread the laughs and drones far and wide, so do us a favor and

share one of these jokes with your family and friends today.

Looking for the gift for dad?

We have the official daily dad jokes podcast electronic joke button now available on Amazon.

A massive 500 preloaded dad jokes guaranteed to make you laugh and groan.

Check the show notes page for the link.

The daily dad jokes podcast is produced by classic studios.

See the show notes page for social media links and joke credits.

This show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience.

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