Lions would never drive drunk. (+ 18 more dad jokes!)

0:00President Barack Obama. Virginia, we are counting on you. Republicans want to steal enough seats in Congress to raid the next election and wield unchecked power for two more years. But you can stop them by voting yes by April 21st. Help put our elections back on a level playing field and let voters decide not politicians. Vote yes by April 21st. Paid for by Virginians for fair elections. What is responsible for the corn you chew really well coming out as whole kernels? Reincarnation. I submitted 10 puns to a joke competition hoping one would win. No pun in 10 did.

1:00Why did the Easter egg hide? Because he was a little chicken. Last year when I was visiting South Korea I left my phone at the hotel and had no map. Turned out to be a true soul-searching day. What's a ghost's favorite day of the week? Monday. This weekend we were barbecuing in the backyard. My wife called out through kitchen window, honey would you please flip the sausages so that they don't burn? I said don't worry the worst is over. I burned my Hawaiian pizza today. Should have cooked it at a low-hot temperature. Why most archaeologists are women? Because they are good at digging up the past.

2:09Tuba or not tuba? That is the trombone of contention. Why did Kyle plant his used nicotine pouches in the backyard? His therapist suggested starting a ZYN garden. I had my first run in the mountains yesterday. Felt okay-ish. Had a lot of ups and downs. Just a moment away from more dead jokes right after this brief pause. Hey John Stamos and Kolagart here. So look you're 45 or older and at average risk. You know what? That probably means it's time for colon cancer screening. Look it doesn't start at 55 or 50 or even 46. If you're 45 you've got to prioritize getting screened because of its found early it's highly treatable. So get going see if Kolagart is the right test for you.

3:21How did the minimum wage railroad employee survive a lightning strike? He was a poor conductor. People don't often daydream about railway systems. It's too easy to lose your train of thought. A dog walks up to a bar and tells the bartender give me three shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, had a rough day? How did people in the old west greet each other? With open arms. Why did demand with Lakoma fall down the well? He couldn't see that well. My friend is always bragging he feeds his horse cocaine. I told him to get off his high horse.

4:25I'm Montgomery Jones. Listen until the end of the episode for bonus joke. We're on a mission to spread the laughs and groans far and wide. So do us a favor and share one of these jokes with your family and friends today. Looking for the gift for dad? We have the official daily dad jokes podcast electronic joke button now available on Amazon. A massive 500 preloaded dad jokes guaranteed to make you laugh and groan. Check the show notes page for the link. The daily dad jokes podcast is produced by classic studios. See the show notes page for social media links and joke credits. This show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience.

5:32Lions would never drive drunk, but a tiger would. This episode is brought to you by a athletic brewing company, no matter how you do game day, on the couch, in the crowd, or manning the snack table, athletic brewing fits right in. With a full lineup of non-alcoholic beer styles, you can enjoy bold flavors all game long, no hangovers, no buzz, no subbing out for water in the second half. Stuck the fridge for tip off with a variety of non-alcoholic craft styles available at your local grocery store or online at athleticbrewing.com. Near beer, fit for all times.