Mother stopped COMMUNICATING with me because I did not back my SIBLING'S MARRIAGE

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Mother stopped communicating with me because I did not back my siblings' marriage ceremony.

So I reclaimed my residence and departed, leaving her without a place to stay.

My mother is starting to irritate me.

I cannot bear it even for a second.

Her demands are growing day by day and now it has reached my breaking point.

Before I take some drastic measures, I want to do a sanity check.

I don't want to do something which I regret later.

So my mom wants me, 42 female, to fund my sister, Ellie, 37 female, second wedding.

Why?

Because my dad left all his wealth to me.

He also had a reason to do that.

Why would he give a dime to someone who doesn't care whether he was living or dying?

My mother has always been a self-centered woman who barely cared about me or my dad.

The only one whom she cared about was Ellie.

Mom treated her like she was the center of the universe, with her every wish and need to be indulged,

and it went far beyond your typical favoritism.

It was an all-consuming obsession.

It started off because Ellie was underweight and fragile when she was born,

but she had the most pretty and beautiful face, which could melt any heart.

My mom excessively cared about her, which never went away even after she got healthy and grew up,

and not even after she got married.

My mom would jump in to fix any minor inconvenience Ellie faced,

never letting her deal with consequences or take accountability for anything.

Mom would complete her assignments if she didn't feel like doing them.

That's the reason she couldn't pass her high school, because mom always shielded her.

Mom made her so dependent that it was not until her middle school days that she started eating on her own.

Until then, mom used to feed her with her hands.

She never moved out of the house until she got married at 26.

Even after that, mom didn't leave her alone.

She would call her up four to five times a day, checking on her.

Mom needed to know everything, what she ate, what she wore for the date night.

Ugg, the more attention Ellie got, the more invisible I became.

It's not like my mom neglected me entirely.

She still provided me for when I was a kid, but I was always the third place after my sister and herself.

My mother prioritized herself more than me and my dad.

Her salon session was more important than my dentist appointment.

She would often forget to pick me up from school because her spa session got extended.

The only silver lining was my dad.

We had a special bond and he could see what was going on.

We had quiet moments together where he'd slit me in extra allowance, or we'd sneak out for ice cream so I'd feel seen and valued.

But dad was a hardworking man, so he wasn't home much.

And when he was, my mom did everything in her power to pull him toward Ellie.

Looking back, I realized my mom was grooming Ellie to be completely dependent on her,

ensuring she'd always need mom and life.

I left home during high school because I was so done living in her shadow.

I completed college, got a job, and built a life for myself outside of my home.

Dad always ensured to be in touch, constantly checked on me via calls or texts, and even flew to me whenever he got the time.

Mom occasionally texted me during festivals or on birthdays if she saw my post on Facebook.

Life was going smooth until everything changed.

Eleven years from now, dad got terribly sick.

Initially, it felt like a normal cold and flu which never subsided.

He lived and worked with that condition for months and didn't take it seriously.

Mom too never cared to insist him for a checkup.

When the cough became unbearable, he got tested only to know that he had a severe lung infection.

I was working in another city when we found out and I immediately rushed home.

It broke my heart to see him lying alone in his room while mom and Ellie went out for a nail session.

He broke down on seeing me.

He was there at the hospital for a week and mom barely visited him for a few minutes every day.

Let me tell you, she doesn't work and could have given him company, but she has a jam-packed schedule of beauty and fitness care.

He was discharged two days ago and had a nurse appointed by the hospital.

Literally, mom had to do nothing except give him her time and that was too hard for her.

When she arrived, she acted so surprised on seeing me.

Came to me for a big hug, but I blocked her.

I lashed out at her for leaving dad alone in the house.

She said, we went to get groceries.

She lied to my face.

It was evident from her look that they were freshly out of the spa session.

Ellie was divorced by then and she was living with mom.

Her first marriage lasted for barely a year.

It wasn't like mom didn't care at all for dad.

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She did.

She wasn't evil, but she's too much self-obsessed.

Everyone came second to her after Ellie and herself.

She was busy in her own world.

She would sit beside dad but would be busy posting stories or doing some skincare or chatting with Ellie.

She would leave everything to the nurse and wouldn't compromise her daily routine.

I was visiting there for only a week, but seeing my dad's condition and my mom's negligence,

I just couldn't leave him alone.

Though I came back to work after a week, I couldn't come to terms that he needed me.

Soon, I got to know that his condition was critical.

I immediately resigned from more exciting dad's medical emergency and went back home.

I became the primary caregiver and asked mom and Ellie to back me up.

The plan was for all of us to rally around him and support him through his treatments.

Mom tried to put in an effort, but she was reckless.

She would forget to give meds on time.

If she goes out to fetch oxygen cylinder for dad,

she would drop by the salon and come after a good four to five hours.

Until then, I had to get another.

Mom treated it like a temporary inconvenience, as though he'd be back on his feet in no time.

Ellie too barely visited his room, saying it was too emotionally draining and she couldn't handle it.

She even went on vacation with her friends for a few weeks during one of his worst episodes.

So it was I who ended up by his side, taking care of him and ensuring he had company.

Mom began caring for him when his condition worsened, but then it was too late.

Watching him deteriorate in that hospital room fueled the quiet anger in me that had been simmering for years.

I felt if he was tested on time, maybe they could have saved him.

When dad passed, I was gutted.

I left home on the day of his funeral and never went back.

After he was gone, his lawyer contacted me and sent me his will in which my dad had given every dime to me, the house, the savings, his estate, everything, and nothing from mom or Ellie.

I was speechless.

I knew he loved me, but I hadn't expected him to cut my mom and Ellie out entirely.

He'd probably seen how they treated him in his final days, and this was his way of showing me that he had noticed it all.

Naturally, the will sparked a firestorm.

My mom and Ellie were livid.

Ellie actually screamed at the lawyer when he disclosed the will to them, saying it was impossible that her daddy would do this to her.

The lawyer shut that down quickly as dad had explicitly instructed that his estate go to me alone.

Ellie didn't contest the will, but she resented me.

Mom called me to say, I hope I'll be sharing the inheritance with us.

I blocked her on that note.

I didn't speak to her for years after that.

I was too drained to deal with it.

She tried all means, but I never responded and cut her off.

I shifted back to my work city, found a job, fell in love with my colleague, married him, and moved overseas with him without letting my mom know about anything.

It was three years back when I delivered a baby.

My mom showed up at my house apologizing and wanting to be part of my daughter's life.

She said, I've been living in guilt ever since he left, I never realized your dad would actually pass.

If I'd known I'd spent more time with him, she had stopped grooming herself saying it doesn't interest her anymore.

But it also has to do with the fact that salon sessions are expensive and she has lost her ATM card.

Dad, she shed tears and said she genuinely wanted to be part of my daughter's life and nothing else.

I gave her a chance.

It was cool for a while.

She would often video calls to see my baby and would text me to check on her.

It didn't last long.

And she started throwing in hints of how she was struggling financially, hoping I'd send her money.

But I didn't budge fast forward to a month ago.

I get a call from my mom.

She sounds cheerful, almost giddy, which is rare.

I brace myself knowing this could only mean one thing.

She wanted something.

And I was right.

She told me Ellie was getting married again and went on about how much this wedding would meant to Ellie after her traumatic first marriage.

Then she drops the bombshell.

She expects me to pay for the wedding.

I was stunned.

First of all, Ellie and I weren't on speaking terms.

Second, dad's will.

She'd made it clear that she considered me some kind of villain, the greedy sister who stole her inheritance.

She hadn't once reached out to check on me or maintain any semblance of a relationship.

Mom was shocked that I turned her down.

How could you not agree to this?

You didn't share the inheritance with her.

She accepted her fate, but paying for her wedding is something you should have begged gladly volunteered.

Irrespective of the inheritance stuff, as an elder sister, don't you have any responsibility?

I was dumbfounded at her response.

Like, what the hell?

Mom never tried to build any sibling bond between us.

And suddenly she wants me to step up as an elder sister.

What a crap.

I told her very clearly that I wasn't going to pay for the wedding.

She flipped out saying it was my responsibility since dad had left everything to me.

She went on a tirade about family obligations.

How I was holding the family for it is Ryan C. Crest here.

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Fortune hostage and how Ellie deserve this happiness.

I said I didn't know anyone anything.

She got manipulative and said what options do we have now?

Tell me she has already paid the token amount to book the venue, hire the decorators and musicians, everything.

The invite is out with a venue location.

How do we go back from here?

I flipped out hearing this.

I was expected to foot the bill for a wedding to which I am not even invited.

Look at their audacity.

When I pointed this out, she realized it was messed up and I should have been invited.

She remains silent and then goes, we thought you would be busy with the kid.

It's a long journey with such a small baby, jet lags and stuff and you might not be interested.

So we kind of skipped it.

We'll be ecstatic if you can make it.

You don't need an invite to attend your sister's wedding, do you?

Come over.

It would be fun to have everyone around.

I cut her off in between.

I don't need any plastic words.

I know the real faces.

She pleaded with me to save the reputation as the invite is already out.

I hung up the call saying I wasn't going to give them a penny from my dad's and hard earned money.

I thought she would back off, but no, she still pestered me with her manipulative texts and voice mails.

She went as far as to say that if I didn't comply, then maybe it was better for her to cut contacts from me

and pretend she had only one daughter.

See, I don't care about having her in my life.

I really don't, but her nagging has gotten into my nerves.

I want to make her pay for her audacity.

I let her live in the house despite what she had done to my dad.

I think it's about time she reaps the fruit of her actions.

I want to send her an eviction notice, but I'm in two minds.

My husband says I should be ready to deal with people's judgment if I want to go with my decision.

Throwing out your mother from the house she lived in for 45 years is looked down upon in our society.

Not everyone would care to get into the details, but it would be quick to pass a judgment that I'm being cruel.

Is it too harsh to make her homeless?

What do you guys think?

Your fathers will clearly reflect it as recognition of the situation and his desire to leave as a state to the one person who truly cared for him, you.

That's a powerful statement and it's not something you should feel guilty about.

The inheritance was his to allocate and he made his decision with full knowledge of the dynamics to your family.

As for evicting her, it's a tough decision, but you're not doing it to be cruel.

You're setting a boundary.

If you choose to go through with it, be prepared for backlash from those who don't know the full story.

However, anyone who truly knows what you've been through would understand.

You have every right to protect your peace and your father's legacy.

Update one.

Okay, so a lot of you asked why I let them live in the house for 10 years.

Honestly, I wasn't ready to deal with the drama.

When my father died, I was emotionally wrecked.

I had a lot of things to sort out.

I had a career gap.

I was a 32, single, jobless and clueless woman who had just witnessed the passing of the most important person in her life.

So I left everything to be as it is and rushed back to take control of my life.

And during that process, I got the opportunity to settle overseas and then I never looked back.

Now I feel the time is right to finish unfinished business.

So I got her evicted.

She left me with no choice.

She made my life miserable with her emails after I blocked her from everywhere.

She went so far as to say that if I didn't pay for Ellie's wedding, she would disown me that I would be dead to her.

Ellie joined the fleet and called me every name under the sun.

According to them, I had tactically positioned myself in front of my father to emotionally manipulate him.

The accusation was outrageous.

I cared for my dad because I loved him, not because I wanted to hold the inheritance.

I couldn't take it anymore.

I'd spent years swallowing my anger, watching them take advantage of my dad and dismiss me.

So I decided it was time to take back what was mine.

I sent her an eviction notice for the house.

My mom went nuts after that.

She couldn't believe I would do such a thing.

Her initial reaction was disbelief.

And then she was like, no one can evict me from my husband's house.

I've lived here for 45 years.

How do you even dare to think I'll let go of it so easily?

I said, where were you when your husband needed you the most busy getting your nails done?

That's right.

I told her she could do whatever she wanted, but I was not going to back down.

When she saw I was adamant about my decision.

She got softer telling me about her vulnerability.

She said, where do I go at this age?

How am I going to fend for myself?

I've been surviving on the pension and by renting half of the house.

If you evict me, where would I go?

I said, it's not my problem.

Ask your golden child to take care of you.

I told her she had 30 days to vacate and where you go from here is not my problem.

Mom realized she made a mistake by cornering me for funding Ellie's wedding.

So she quickly retracted from her demands and said, if you don't want to pay for the wedding, that's okay.

We can manage without it, but don't evict me.

Please take it back.

I said, I'm not paying for the wedding, nor am I taking back the notice.

I'm going to have everything which is mine.

I let you live there for 10 years and insisted of appreciating it.

You're calling me names and manipulating me for money.

She never cared about me.

Now, why should I care about her all her life?

She was busy pampering her golden child.

So now why she's pleading in front of me isn't her only daughter capable of taking care of her.

Apparently my words hurt Ellie's ego and she told mom to vacate the house ASAP and shift with them.

She's been boasting in front of everyone that she would take care of her mother and that she doesn't need my favor.

Mom vacated the house on the 26th day.

I hired an agency to renovate it and put it up for lease.

It's been only a week since then.

Ellie has moved her wedding from a lakeside garden to a town hall, which has created a buzz in the family and relatives group.

I haven't heard from her or from anyone else about her.

And honestly, I don't care.

If anything, OP, this situation reveals how deeply they underestimated you.

Update 2.

I have news.

My mom has been living with Ellie since the eviction.

The family drama didn't stop there.

Recently, I got to know that Ellie's husband wasn't exactly thrilled about having his mother-in-law as a long-term house guest.

He was fed up with my mom's constant meddling.

Her husband was already pissed off that Ellie wasted so much of his money booking the venue and other stuff.

Apparently, he never wanted a big wedding, but Ellie convinced him saying she would get me to pay for most of it.

However, when she couldn't succeed, they had to cancel everything.

Moving the venue and resending the invite was embarrassing for him and his family.

Then on top of that, Ellie brought home her in truce.

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So Mom, who would like to have that?

I heard through a nosy relative that Ellie's husband had given her an ultimatum.

Get Mom out or he'd consider separating.

After hearing this, I was quite sure about Mom reaching out to me.

A few weeks past and sure enough, Mom reached out to me again, claiming she had nowhere to go.

She sobbed that she would have to resort to staying in a shelter if I didn't do the right thing and let her back into the house.

She tried the pity angle, saying she was just an old woman with no one left.

I told her I'm sorry about her condition, but the house was no longer available.

I had leased it to my friend's brother, who'd already moved in.

She screamed into the phone that I was abandoning her and that blood is thicker than water.

I said, this is what I wanted to say for years and maybe if you and Ellie had treated Dad with an ounce of respect, you wouldn't be in this mess.

And who knows?

Maybe Dad would have been alive if you cared for him.

You ignored him so badly that the man started to ignore himself and deteriorated his health, to run away from his wife's toxicity.

He immersed himself in work and never cared about his health.

I hung up the call and cried for hours.

I don't know why I was missing my dad very badly that day.

A few relatives reached out saying they couldn't believe I'd leave my mother homeless.

They urged me to forgive her and give her back the house.

I held my ground and cut off contact with everyone who tried to pull me down.

After everything they put me through, I was done being their safety net.

Mom did end up moving in with a distant relative temporarily, but her welcome there is wearing thin.

I hear she's planning on trying to guilt some other relative into taking her in, but at this point she's burned so many bridges that there aren't many left to turn to.

Some people may think I went too far, but I don't care.

The house, my inheritance, and my peace of mind, all of it I had earned through years of loyalty and love for my father who saw me and valued me.

I'll cherish that memory and finally move on, guilt-free, knowing that I did what was best for me.

If he didn't trust him with their money, why would I let them use a penny?

They don't deserve it, do they?

The fact that Ellie banked on you funding her extravagant wedding without even consulting you shows how entitled and out of touch they were.

It's no surprise her husband's patience ran thin.

As for your mom reaching out with the guilt and pity tactics, you are absolutely right to hold your ground.

Her behavior, both during your father's life and after his passing, speaks volumes about her priorities.

You're not responsible for fixing the mess she and Ellie created.

You're right, OP.

They don't deserve a cent.

What would you do if you were OP?