Mothered by Survival

0:00Welcome everyone. You are about to embark on a journey through the universe as you indulge in this extraordinary essence of enlightened empowered evolved. Let the show begin in five, four, three, two, one. Just in time, greetings everyone. I'm Luke Brian Smith and welcome to enlightened empowered evolved where we educate, motivate, and liberate you through enlightening dialogues, empowering music and evolving content. I'm excited again because my next extraordinary guess is a boundary coach, speaker, author, and community leader known online as the boundaries bestie. She helps women stop shrinking themselves to keep the peace and start holding clear, confident boundaries without losing their femininity or their values. And there is a whole lot more. But without further ado, allow me to introduce to you Tiffany Galloway.

1:01Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it so, so very much. I'm looking forward to this conversation. Absolutely. Absolutely. And before I even go any further, Tiffany, I would just like to say that I believe that time is one of our most precious assets. So for you to decide to spend even a moment of your precious time here with me on enlightened empowered evolved. I just want to extend my sincerest gratitude to you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Thank you for having me. The gratitude definitely goes both ways because you didn't have to have me on. And you know, I think that something really great is going to happen here just because so I'm looking forward to it. Absolutely. So let's just get right into it. I'm just going to hit you right off the bat, not hit you, but you know what I mean. You're known online as the as the boundaries bestie. Give us a little bit more insight on your work, your passion. Sometimes I don't like to use the word work because some I believe that's things that we are passionate about. It's really not work. It's right.

2:05Yeah, it's actually food for our soul for our mindset. So yeah, give us a give us a bit of insight on you helping women, you know, set boundaries in a healthy way and how how it came to be and would it all entails. Perfect. So I'll sum it up really quickly. I was a guest on a platform, ultimate blackmail radio. He definitely had me on. He had a show called Ask the Housewife anything where women could come and they could just ask about what we did with our day. It was a panel full of fantastic woman. So from that opportunity, I would have women reaching out to me and saying, I'd like to feel like that about taking care of home and I'd like to feel is settled and is comfortable in my femininity is you seem to feel, but I have all of these different issues. I don't feel comfortable setting boundaries and I would ask them about what feels good for you. So part of life, do you think you would be comfortable with and they would be drawn a blank. So before I suggest something as vulnerable.

3:11Housewifery is beautiful. Don't get me wrong, but without proper boundaries, anything will run off the tracks and I can't in good conscience give housewife advice before we set some foundational boundaries. I never did a housewife course and I never had a femininity course because I don't think that women's femininity needs coaching women will get soft when they feel safe and not a moment before. So I started doing the work of teaching them boundaries, but in that work, I found that a lot of them have parental issues where they didn't feel like they could even set boundaries. They didn't feel permission for self protection. So if they don't give themselves a permission, then my boundaries work is fall on death year. So I had to go back, which is where the book came from mother by survival, just breaking down generationally emotionally immature mothers and the impact that that has on the dollar. So we really, it's a real full spectrum work and like you say, it's so work. Like I said in our messages before I do it for the love of the game.

4:20And it has paid off triplefold. I've been coaching independently for four years and still home as a wife. So I haven't missed to be there in my life just feels so balanced and fulfilled. It's a beautiful gift. Wow. I didn't mean to cut you off there, but you just triggered. I allowed you to trigger something great. When you said about the balance and yes, that to me is most important, no matter what is going on around you or what you may have monetarily or have acquired. If you don't have that piece, that balance, none of that is really going to matter, per se, but I mean, yes, we need things. There's things that we need. There's things that we want. And overall, I place inner peace and and that above above all of that health, of course, time.

5:28But yes, that that's that's in the top what you just mentioned. And that's why I reacted that way because that resonates with me a lot. So what would you say some of the biggest challenges if if there are with with doing this type of work or with helping women to set boundaries, what would you say some of your biggest challenges that you face? I would say being misunderstood in the front end and dealing with the ramifications of people misunderstanding my message where, for example, when I first launched my course feminine affirm my company was branded under a different name and lifestyle academy, where yes, you want to be a great wife, but that starts foundation with womanhood. So that was the full message. My local radio picked it up, local syndicated radio. So you know, like four hour morning shows picked it up. Wow, congratulations. They you will. They drug me for four hours.

6:32And it was women don't need this. Nobody needs to teach a woman boundaries and why do we need to focus on softness and all of these other things, but they were missing the full overarching message. And I think it was intentional. You know, we really have to consider that women, especially women who have never been seen as soft. And I mean black woman because we've never really we were not even allowed to be soft. I have a book called labor of sorrow labor of work. And it's a breakdown of the black woman's image from slavery through contemporary day. They just highlight how many black women did not want to go into the workforce. They didn't want to have to go and be hard and do all of these things. And now I see in 2026, the ramifications on so many of my sisters, we really want to take a break, but we don't know how.

7:32And we don't having given ourselves the permission how the system is not even structured for the break. So we wind up having the breakdown. And I think that's one of the hardest parts really getting women to admit that we do need the help and structuring that. And I'm not saying come home and get under the bed and house my free may not be for everybody, but if this is what you want to pursue, I never want a woman to be shamed out of it or to feel less than for it. I think that's one of the largest challenges, but I don't pay that any minor still put the content out there because who is for finds me. So can I really say it's a challenge because people share what they disagree with much more than they share what they actually like. Wow. Having that happen. That's why I said, well, because I didn't see it as a blessing at first. I cried like a baby. Okay, my heart was broken because I'm doing this for the people and I felt the overall rejection, but in that came Detroit free press article and came, you know, radio interviews because people were curious about the program.

8:50So while I dig your push back, the good outweigh the bad. So like with everything in life, there's a lesson in everything and if you're willing to embrace it, it'll really sink in and it'll, it'll benefit you. So I think that's where I am. So I couldn't, I can't necessarily in good faith say that it's a challenge. Right. Yes, it's just something that's there. You know, there's a lot of what stood out in the way that you articulated that and thank you for that, by the way, for adding some clarity. But not but, but while you said some things and I didn't want to forget, but definitely how you express that whoever's meant to find a message will find you that is true. And that's the same ideology that I hold for this podcast as well, whoever is meant to find just like I forgot who said it.

9:50When the student is ready, the teacher will appear, which means not just a physical teacher, but the information that you're ready for, you will come across it, you know, you know, you can say God led you to universe, whatever, but you will get it. That's just the way it works, especially if one way or the other, that is how it works. It works and yes, that that's I forget what else I was going to say, but that is one of the main things right there that I really resonate with you on that. So yes, and the way that you're outlook is your mindset in regards to us being quickly to label things challenges and it's like really it doesn't have to be it's just something that's helping you to elevate in some way. That's how I look at adversity now, not saying it doesn't sting, you know, and yeah, but I have the mindset, I've become aware that everything is not happening to me, no matter how it may seem in its genesis, but it's happening for me.

11:08So therefore it's hard to say something is a challenge because it's it's it's you know, just like running up a hill, you know, that can be challenging, but you know that it's going to do you some good. So I just know that whatever comes into my experience, I can't explain it, people can get real technical and say, oh, somebody slams into you into the back of you or how is that helping you well in some way it is. If I'm not dead, some way it is, go ahead, Tiffany, I want to hear. No, I tell people that all the time, as a matter of fact, this is my second marriage. So I and I the first marriage into quite tragically, I didn't even really share this with you, but when I first started the business, I was in another marriage and my husband at the time was charged with the most heinous crimes imaginable as an educator. I'll just frame it there and leave it there. So you know overnight life change, the most traumatic thing that could have ever happened to me at that moment was completely devastated, can completely out of left field and my life changed in a week.

12:15And I'm sat down and I asked myself, okay, so now what are we going to do because it didn't burn down for a reason. And now that it's gone, I don't even have to do the demo right now I get to figure out exactly who I want to be on the other side of this. So who do you want to be? I looked myself in the mirror said I'm tired of living in the cold. I don't want to be here anymore. And I paid my car off and I moved to South Florida. I was in South Florida within six weeks of me getting like the traumatic news. Wow, talking about lips. Let me say this real quick, talking about taking control of your own, you know, circumstances, you know, we can sit there and complain, but what are we doing about it? And you're a prime example. Go ahead. I could have cried. And I have people tell me that, well, I was still coaching through all of this because by now coaching businesses built my subscription based businesses built.

13:16I can't stop coaching. So I let them see me in that vulnerable moment. You know, one of the questions I always got from women is, you know, regarding house wife, where is what happens if he leads or if he cheats or if he dies or whatever. So, and I have been telling them, I have contingencies in place. Please don't worry so much about me because, you know, I'm, I'm a very deep thinker and I really like to prepare for the unexpected. So I was prepared for the unexpected and I wanted them to be able to see that in me because I think that the best coach, especially for a life coach, is to be done in their own lives. If you're following a coach that you wouldn't want to live the life that they're living or trade places with them, you should reevaluate who you're following. And hold on, hold on, hold on. Reps say that again. If you would not want to trade lives with your life coach, you should reevaluate who you're following. It's not even just a life coach. It any celebrity you're looking up to, anybody that you're looking up to a prioritizing over yourself.

14:21Take a look at their life, take a look at their recorded outcome because we're talking about tangible lived experience outcome that you can see, not just what they say. It's important to test them against that and I always coached my mentees to think the same way. Okay, so I'm not going to be exempt when it comes time for them to see me walk my talk. And I did not lose any mentees. I picked up about 20 extra girls in my program. You know, just because I was coaching from an authentic place. And in conversations like this, when I tell people you know what happened and it was on the news and they were interviewing my neighbors. He was a very prolific man in our city, very, very well known. So, you know, devastating was not the word, but we have a choice. Anytime something goes wrong, you're being presented an option and you get to choose what you do next because you're powerful in that way.

15:22And you have to think like it and move like it in times of despair. Because if you don't think you fall victim to the negative thinking in that is a cycle that just drags you down irreparably, you know, you are not the mistake you made a mistake. So if you if you stand on that, then you have better results and it may not be exactly where you want to be. But eventually you get there, which is why I'm where I am living the life that I'm living and enjoying every single breath I take. So grateful for it in moments, especially like these where I can share that same passion and energetic frequency with you and then, you know, your audience and appreciate you for allowing with space for me. Absolutely. And you are it's my my pleasure. And I wish I had a sound effect of a mic dropping because I would have been pushing it all while you were talking speaking. I mean, you just dropping all kind of jewels, you just are and it is.

16:24You what they what they call what we call here in California in the streets. You drop in game. You gained up. So thank you for sharing that with us. It's just amazing. And there's a few things I wanted. I did kind of remember where you mentioned that. And this is this might be a bit off topic, but that's okay. You mentioned that we talk more about the stuff. We don't like or whether the stuff we like. Why do you think that is. The thing that brings us the most. Humans respond to discomfort and there's no other way to slice it. They respond to discomfort, whether it's some negative emotion, they take up more space for us than the happy ones, you know, and it makes us disregard the good things that are actually happening because these things seem so big.

17:24We're not understanding that we're looking at the shadow of that thing. It's really not that big. Right. Right. And if we can give ourselves to change our focus, then we will produce better results. But what happens is you are so powerful that when you occupy your mind with the thought of a thing, whether it is negative or positive, you're going to bring that thing to yourself. The universe is not understand good and bad. There is no good or evil with the universe is giving you what you want. So if your hyper focused on failing and I'm not good enough with this going to be an accident, then you're not going to be good enough. And it is going to be an accident because your soul came here for an experience. Then you get to pick you get to carry. So if you're not curating a positive experience, everything you put out and you get back. Especially on the day like today, you know, it's a beautiful calming day. I've had the best luck all day long. Everything has worked out really great for me. And I'm hoping to cast that out to you guys that you're able to benefit from a little bit of that.

18:28Just the calming return of all the love that I put out into the universe. I think if we could focus on that, then we would see a change in the environment which we create. So the big emotions, pain is a great motivator. That's what they say. Right. But where is also a great motivator? Absolutely. And to add to that, which I really don't have to, but I just want to because I'm excited. But where attention goes, energy flows. And yes, that's amazing. If we can get out of that reprogram our mindsets. Get out of that focusing on. Things happen. But do we have to give it that much energy? And I even put a post up the other day saying that, and I'm paraphrasing right now. I forgot what I said, but right now. But I said something along the lines of, let me read if I can remember. I only pay attention.

19:29I only give the adversities in what I feel are negative circumstances. My attention when I'm seeking a solution. Not just to talk about it. Not just, now we meet, we're humans and we vent in different ways. I am not criticizing anyone. Believe me, I'm not because I've been there and I probably will be there plenty more times. But now I catch myself. That's all I'm saying. I'm setting an example, trying to share an example of how I view things now. Yeah. Go ahead. Go ahead. I absolutely agree with that. And one thing that helps me with this. And it's going to sound a little testy. So, you know, hold your horses y'all. The one thing that actually helps me with rebounding negative thoughts is stop playing the victim. I am not the victim to circumstance. If you, if you stay in a victim's space and it's easy when you feel victimized, right?

20:30You, why did they do this to me? And I want to know why they did this to me. How could they do this to me? It seems like we get stuck there. And that is an emotional group trap that I'd like to teach people to identify. I am not a victim of circumstance because everything that happens is happening for my good. And I always refer back to my former life. Everything got burned down overnight. Everything. But instead of looking at this pile of ashes and saying, oh my god, why me? I said, well, what do I want to put here? Do I want to put anything here? Because now I don't have to pay for the demo. It's just the blank space now. And it was cleared for me overnight. I had to do no work to clear it. I didn't have to undo a mistake. I was just gifted a blank canvas. Was it different than it was before? Yeah. Did it feel bad? Yeah. But now I can be like Picasso. And me abandoning victimhood allowed me to step into a place where now I can be an artist in my own life.

21:30And I can craft and curate what I want in the life museum. It'll look the way I wanted to look at the end of the day, little by little piece by piece. So abandon the victimhood. Don't beat yourself up for it. If you slip into that thought, just say, okay, well, what do I want now? And I guarantee you you'll take a look at that thing and you'll see so many solutions. You'll see more options than obstacles. And that's the way you do it. You stop yourself right in the middle, because I'm a cognitive base coach. So I think what I do, and you know, everybody does what we create here. We create here. So I'm trying to interrupt that thought pattern. You're human. Don't penalize yourself for it. But don't get stuck there. You're nobody's victim. You're more powerful than you think. Wow. Thank you for that amazing powerful. We're down to about five more minutes. But before we can, we can go all day. And I definitely want to extend you the invitation to come back.

22:30Because I know you have a lot of insight to share a lot of life experiences. A lot of just, yes, wisdom. And I appreciate it. And I'm sure everyone else that's tapping in. I'm hoping so. I'm hoping so. Before we go, tell us a little bit about your, you're an author. You tell us a little about your book or your books. And where we can find them. So the book Mother By Survival here in my background. This is what it looks like on Amazon. You can pick it up whenever you are ready to do that. But it was definitely a sole project for me because. And I hate to be hypercritical of mothers, right? Because they have such a big job. But because they have such a big job. I think that we need to find two and a few things because. The way that we are coming out. The way that the daughters and sons are being let go into the world. It's already predamaged.

23:30Now, you don't have to know everything. But you know, so I wrote the book in efforts to help people who were actually going no contact. With their parents just to step away to heal. And it's, it's such a hard. Hard thing to do because by the time I myself have no contact with my own mother. And she was a 16 year old. Let me pause you there. Let me pause you. Please don't lose your thought. No, I won't. You're trying to thought. This, you know, I just have to point this out and I can't make this up. I had no contact with you prior to reaching out. To you to ask you to come on the podcast. Now, you have, and, and I wasn't going to say anything, but you just now. Touched on two different things that are the same in my own life is my second marriage. I'm on now. You know, the first one, a lot of tragedy going on with it. Then.

24:30What did you just mention now? No contact with my mom. I haven't spoken to my mom and this is not a flex. Believe me. Because I am maternally connected to my mom. You know, you can have love, but. I don't want to get into it, but for my peep for my mental health. I've had to do that. And this is not no criticism to her because I'm looking at me. And what part I played in the story. But yes, I'm just touching on that fact. I'm not talking about You one day, I'll have a, we can have a. If you, if you're, if you're open to it, no more than willing. Yeah, we can have a podcast specifically on that and bounce. I might get clarity from you. A lot of things need to be clarified when it comes to no contact, and we go on no contact with a parent. And you know, with Ogros recently doing the show that she did where she had on. People, parents who were estranged and then adult children who were also estranged right.

25:30And, you know, it just came going pretty crazy. This is the whole premise of my TikTok. I, we don't even talk about how to apply for you on my TikTok. We are talking about a strange parenthood because I feel like there are so many people who are also in the same boat, emotionally immature mother, you're bound to her. You bound to love her and cannot help it. Even though her presence in your life has become painful or hurtful, you, you stick it out and you self betray so that you don't have to lose the relationship. And this is the upbringing that many of us have had where we can understand their flaws and their pain. You can see why they're wounded, but the wounds aren't pointed toward you. And I coined the term, I hold my mother compassionally accountable. I can see why you're broken, but you still got to come correct if you will come over here with me. And that is because my safety is important.

26:30And my mental health matters. And the way that I show up in the world cannot be fragmented. And the way that I love my mother will permeate anything that I thought I built for myself because I love her. They weaponize the love. And it's not always intentional. You know, it's not always intentional, but they do it nonetheless. So what does no contact look like? Low contact look like? How do we have that conversation? You know, and I always say in my book, I've never closed a door that I was not prepared to open for a healed return. So if you get healthy, I will be right here, but until you're ready to move the needle on your own mental health to control the way that you show up in the world also, you got to stay where you are. I have a husband. I have a life. I cannot have you add chaos to that. And as a married man, I'm certain that you understand what I mean because the boundaries between familiar relationships,

27:31excuse me, familiar relationships have to protect the marriage. They really do. Your wife or your husband should not be contending with your parent or your brother or sister or whatever. This is where you protect them, even as a woman. This is feminine protection. You know, when I'm not boxing, you know, to protect anybody, protect my husband from anybody, but I am protecting him with the decisions that I make and the people I allow into our space. So you know, you see how boundaries are tied into that. But we got to deal with the root cause before I can even help you set boundaries because you have no foundational support. So I pride myself in mothering the motherless. And I go back and I hold their hands through foundational support. And we worked this thing out. I helped them understand a strange man. I helped them understand nervous system regulation after a strange man. And that's a series that I'm doing right now. It takes like every single day. I'm regulated and nervous system is what I call it because instead of trying to figure out why your parent is broken,

28:34you really should be giving your body what it needs because autoimmune diseases are on the rise because people are not prioritizing their health. You know, mental health issues are on a rise because people are not prioritizing their health. And when I took a deeper look at it, they're prioritizing their parents and their parents' feelings that they don't want to change. You know, just holding on to all of that old stuff. So I do the hard work to help people find themselves long and short of it. And I love it every single day. I have a group of women that I co-shot out to y'all. They've been with me since 2021. My first cohort didn't want to graduate from the boundary scores. So they've been with me ever since. And I'm eternally grateful for these women who. They make me so proud every day. I say this everywhere I go. And they don't think they make me proud because they're overcoming things and they're finishing their doctorates and buying homes.

29:36And leaving C-suite law to start their own businesses. I mean, such powerful enlightened soft women. And I will be remiss if I did not send them a little bit of love and a little bit of energy. I love you all. Thank you to you and your followers so much for putting up with me for this 30 minutes. And I hope that you do invite me back because. It's a changement. It's very near and dear to my heart as you come. Right. Right. Yes. Thank you for all of that. I'm not going to just point out anything. Everything that you articulated. Thank you very much. And last but not least, how can we find you? Well, you can find me on. Well, my website is EmpowerPathLifeCoachane.com. So you can find me there. You can find me on TikTok at Boundaries Bestie. I respond to all of my comments and DMs. So if you have any questions about a strange man. If you're in the process yourself. Scroll through some of the content and listen to some of the playlist. And if you find something to resonate with you, reach out.

30:37Because I know it can be a very lonely business. If you're interested in joining the group. You could shoot me an email to feminine affirm at gmail.com. And I will be able to add you on into the group. It's a fantastic group of women. It is a paid subscription. But you get group coaching. It's wonderful. So if you wanted to find me or you're interested in me or any of my other products. All the information I just gave you was listed on my website. EmpowerPathLifeCoachane.com. And thank you guys so much for having me. Absolutely. And I'll be sure to incorporate those links. I'm 99% sure you sent me those. I did. Yes, they will be in the description of this segment. So yes, thank you. Again, and thank you everyone for watching. And or listen. Be sure you're very welcome. Be sure to hit that like button. That subscribe button. Share this. Not only help the platform grow and flourish and thrive.

31:37But get this information out there. Someone who may need it or just simply free. Simply for just awareness. Educating. I like to learn things every day. So send me some good stuff. Especially if it's life affirming. That's it. That's what I what I love to incorporate in my life. Every day. Just growth awareness. Whether I agree with it at that moment or not. Yes, I'm open. Thank you, everyone. Again, I'm sending you love and appreciation in light and power to evolve. Until next time, see you soon.