Musician Sara Bareilles talks about the importance of crying in her life

0:00Each week a guest draws a card from MPR's Wildcard deck and answers a big question about their life. Sarah Barellis is out with a new album and documentary, both titled Good Grief. The project is partly about processing the deaths of two of her close friends. Barellis talked with Wildcard host Rachel Martin about her relationship to crying. Once a time you realized you were on the right path. I wrote this book of essays called Sounds Like Me. And it was so hard. And I sort of hated writing this book. But I started doing this practice where I was writing letters to myself at different ages. And it was so profound. It was so profound to really sit with the sense of myself at age 12. And at age 22. And the things that change and the things that stay the same in that kind of like wrestling with MI enough.

1:05It just takes different forms over our life, I think. But I was sitting in the lobby of the Marlton Hotel when I had my laptop there. And I was like, crying. I was like, I'm not doing nothing so self-important. All my wisdom. But that is actually something that happens to me. I will spontaneously start weeping if I kind of hit something that feels especially true or especially resonant. I am a bit of a cryer. I love that. And the big feelings forward person. But I feel very insecure about it to this day. Do you ever do you apologize when you start to cry? Not anymore. My mom used to, my mom is a big cryer too. And she loves to take credit for my crying. My crying is mine. No, but she used to say this thing, listen to my words, not to my tears.

2:08Because there is like almost like a spontaneous overwhelm. And I have had, I spent so much time, especially in early meetings. For example, I remember meetings around boardroom tables in the label for the first time. And literally just the sense of being in an overwhelming situation would make my lips quivering. And I'm feeling overwhelmed. And I would fight it so hard. I don't really, I don't apologize anymore. I really think crying my God, it means you are feeling into your own humanity. Yeah, I mean, I agree. It just reflexive. I'm trying, I'm trying not to. But it is a reflexive habit that now when I notice it, I'm like, oh, I hope I'm not making you uncomfortable. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. If my emoting is making you uncomfortable. Oh, my God. Maybe all just learned to be a little more comfortable with emotions.

3:08Can you imagine what the world would look like? Completely. When I think about talking to my best friends or my sisters, if they start to cry, it's not even, it's subconscious. I'm immediately crying too, because I'm like, oh, I'm with you. Oh, yeah. So go ahead and cry. Okay, thanks. I'm going to stay with you at any point. You can watch the full conversation with Sarah Bareilles on YouTube by searching for NPR Wild Card. Her new album, Good grief, is out now.