[No Laughter Version] Somebody threw a beer at Donald Trump today. (+ 17 more dad jokes!)

I've been diagnosed with a fear of giants.

Fee 5obia.

I recently visited a U.S. state north of Texas and south of Kansas.

It wasn't great, but it was okay.

Have you tried melt this old flour in your baking?

I hear it is wildly refreshing.

I didn't believe in my carapractor.

Now I stand corrected.

My wife said quilts are better than duvetes.

I said she should be more careful making blanket statements.

I have a new funny joke to share, but I shall not.

It's grown on me now.

I got a new haircut yesterday and I didn't like it at first.

But it's starting to grow on me.

I'm going to Mexico and I want to swim with the dolphins.

My wife actually wanted to swim with the sharks, but they are too expensive.

I hear it costs an arm and a leg.

Khan is the opposite of pro.

So the opposite of progress is Congress.

I was confronted by a beggar today when I left hospital.

He aggressively said, any change, Mr?

I replied, yes, I feel a lot better now.

What do you call a man who can lift up a car?

Jack.

I found a lot of sinkholes in Northwest Ohio, holy Toledo.

We'll return with more laughs following this short break.

How can fumal directors increase the fumal prices and blame it on the cost of living?

What did Shirley say when her bandmate had taken too much coke?

Is Pepsi okay?

What's the most dangerous punctuation?

What was more important than the first telephone invented?

The second telephone.

What does it say on a blue man's tombstone?

Didn't wake up this morning.

I'm Montgomery Jones.

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The daily dad jokes podcast is produced by classic studios.

See the show notes page for social media links and joke credits.

This show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience.

Somebody threw a beer at Donald Trump today.

Don't worry, it was a draft.

He was able to dodge it.