societyculturerelationships

Offcuts - New Hall Passes, Date My Mate Presentations and ‘Weaponised’ Neuroscience

Life Uncut·Mar 20, 2026·45:56

About this Episode

Welcome to Offcuts where we chat about whatever piqued our interest this week in a light, fun little package to send you off on your weekend!

We chat:

Britt has found her hallpass
Punch's new girlfriend
Is Timothee's Oscar's downfall Jenner coded?
Date my mate powerpoints
The neuroscience that explains why mums wake up more than dad
An opposing view on the infamous coldplay kisscam moment

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Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne

Produced by Keeshia Pettit

Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley

Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx

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Hosts & Guests

LiSTNR

Host

Transcript

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura.

I'm Brittany and this is our Off-Cuts episode. All of the things that we wanted to

speak about during the week, we couldn't quite find the space for, we went down the rabbit

hole, here it is, our little weekend snack. I'll nummy num num num.

Do you think we'll ever do this episode without saying num num num at the start?

No, I think it's a tagline.

Hi, welcome to Off-Cuts num num num num.

Okay, I do want to start with just something that I feel really happy about.

Do you want to talk about punch monkey as well?

No, I don't want to talk about punch monkey, something better, something cuter.

For me, I've always had a really hard time finding my hall pass.

I thought it was the guy from Bridgerton.

Jonathan Bailey, it has been. He doesn't want to.

He's gay, so that's not, it's off the table.

What about the guy from Jamie? What's his name?

Oh, Jamie.

Jamie, you win.

Yeah, that became too real because we actually were talking.

And so then that got cut too.

So that was too real.

So that's not a hall pass anymore because hall pass needs to be like unattainable.

unattainable, but you need to at least think it's attainable, like fantasy.

I don't know. I find it hard.

So Laura got stuck on her hall pass. Man, mountain, Jason Mamoah for years, right?

And I don't think you've got him anymore, do you?

Now, I'm over Jason Mamoah. A lot of people were sending me the meme,

which was a picture of him with a shaved face and he had no jaw.

And it really turned me off. I got an instant here.

When you take, have you seen that trend that went about all the girlfriends that are like,

I begged my partner to shave his beard and then what have I done?

And it's like the before where they're these sexy lumberjacks.

And then their beard's gone and they've got like no chance.

There's something very harrowing.

If you're used to your man having facial hair and then you see them without it,

it just takes a hot second to readjust, right?

It is instantly their jawline disappears.

And then your left feeling, I love, I love rugged.

Like I'm begging Ben to grow more of a beard.

Like I love when the moustache goes down into it.

And it doesn't have to, I don't want it manicured.

I don't want it neat.

He will never do that. That's not him.

It's not him. He goes every week to the salon.

Anyway, does he really?

Every week he goes Ben to get a haircut.

If he's really let himself go, quote unquote, 10 days.

10 days.

No, I'm not exaggerating.

That man goes and gets his hair professionally done every 10 days.

Yeah, because he's got like a fade.

And so fade's only work if they're at the phase.

That's the time. I've been to the hairdresser once in a year.

No, Laura, their footballers.

The hairdresser goes to their team and does it.

The hairdresser turns, it's actually, do you know what?

Footballers are different world.

I'm not successful in that.

They have a hairdresser.

We could get someone to come here.

They have a barber, I guess.

It's not a hairdresser, but it's a barber that will come to their hotel.

When they're away playing a game.

And if you book in and get your hair, yeah, it's a whole thing.

Is that a team expense?

I think no.

I think the players book in and pay, like for yourself,

but it's just about ease.

Like it's about they come into that.

Yeah, it's, I am so shocked for this.

I find this absolutely fascinating.

Do you want to know there's so much weird stuff about football?

They are on, this has taken a segue from my whole past.

Sorry, Ben, you are my whole past.

But like they will go on a bus.

They travel to their games.

But they have like a chef on the bus

and cooking station at the back of the bus and stuff.

And they make them meals on the bus.

Do you know what I was thinking today

when I was having a shower and getting ready to come here?

I was thinking,

I want to be nice to book in, have a laser.

I've never had laser.

And I was like, I need to do that.

It'll make my life so much easier.

Can we just get a communal work laser come in?

I can't laser you.

We can use it as content.

I'm not a journalist.

Put it on YouTube.

Oh, no, I meant for my bikini line.

Did you do that because you saw my appointment in the diary yesterday?

All right, let's get on track.

Who is for?

Oh, okay.

Who is your helper?

Oh, Paul Anthony Kelly.

Now who's Paul Anthony Kelly, you might ask?

How dare you ask?

America's new boyfriend,

but he's my new boyfriend.

He is the new actor and love story from...

He's John F. Kennedy, Jr.

He has to be plays in love story,

like the new Hulu Docko,

that would be talking about all of the nicest people.

I am going to call it.

He has to be for me the most beautiful,

perfect specimen

that I have ever seen in my life.

Like, Jonathan Bailey does not even compare.

And there's one scene,

I don't know if you remember it Keisha, I did video it,

but there is just a playback.

Because Paul and I went down last week,

so Brittany needed some content.

There's one scene in love story.

If you guys haven't seen it yet,

this is not a spoiler,

but he turns up to her house and it's raining out.

And he's outside waiting for her

and it's raining and he's wet in the street

and she's looking out at him

and he's like, basically,

professing his love and desire for her

and the reins all down him

and it's slow mo,

and there's a moment where I was like,

that's going to live rent-free in my brain

for the rest of my life.

But I just wanted to,

I just needed to put this out there

because it's a wonderful feeling

to come across a new horse.

Do you know?

I would like to share the whole cast,

but it's something that it made me actually like him even more.

You know how I've been talking about

all these celebrities doing the like foe romance?

Are they having an affair press tour situation?

We spoke about sitting in Sweden and Glenn Powell.

We recently spoke about Jake Valorri

and Margaret Robbie.

He posted on Instagram,

like this is when this show had just come out

and everyone was kind of finding him for the first time

because that was his first big acting gig.

It's why I love him more.

Yeah, he'd kind of been the underdog for 10 years

and he made this post that was a carousel

and it was dedicated to his wife

and it was just all about how much he loves his wife

and I was like,

I love the content.

No, because I love that,

you know, once the world is like,

forning over him,

you and I mostly included.

I'm like, it's so refreshing to see a guy be like,

hey, this is amazing that this has been such a big show,

but just FYI, I really love my wife

we're being together for a long time.

You know why?

It's because and I think this is why I love him even more.

It's because his story about getting cast for this

is really crazy.

Thousands of people auditioned.

He was included and they just cast him to the side.

He wasn't even looked at.

It was just a no.

And he said he's been doing it for 12 years.

He's mid 30s.

He was literally,

I know all these actors say,

I was just about to give up when I found it,

but I believe it.

Like when you're in your mid to late 30s

and you've never had any luck,

you're doing like 120, 130 auditions a year

and it's no, no, no.

And you're married and you need to,

you know, commit to your relationship.

I understand why people are like,

okay, I tried, I haven't made it.

But she stood by him for like a decade

whilst he was trying to live his dream unsuccessfully.

And I think that that is so much more beautiful

as to why he's posted this now

when he's blown up being like this is the woman

that has always been by my side.

But what happened was he was a no.

And he was cast to the side by casting.

And then Ryan Murphy, who produced it,

came in and said, what is happening?

We need to find his person,

show me the people you've said no to.

And he went back through all of these people

until he found him and he said,

why did we say no to him?

And then they recalled him back

and got him sent back to, to read in person

and do a chemistry test.

And then he got cast on the spot.

And that's, I don't know.

I think maybe I'm sucked into the whole story,

but I can tell.

But it's like, the world is obsessed.

Yeah.

You haven't seen it, have you?

It's because I spend my entire life

watching Married at First Side.

It's very different. Love story.

It's so hard.

It's very different.

Like look, don't get me wrong

having a lot of fun doing after the dinner party,

but do you got it so many hours of maths?

It's a lot of life.

It's a lot of notice.

It's so much.

I'm literally, I'm leaving here

to go on a plane to go to a conference

and the entire flight.

I was like, maybe I'll have a nap

and then I was like, no,

go to watch Married at First Side.

Must never sleep.

Yes.

Watch every episode.

Anyway, look, I've got some things I want to talk about.

To Laura's whole past the monkey.

Oh, punch con.

Okay, so punch you guys know the monkey.

This is a very brief update.

We talked about him a couple of weeks ago.

He is the monkey sensation from a zoo in Japan

who was neglected by his mother

and then the rest of the monkeys didn't want him

and they didn't accept him.

Who severely bullied.

He was beaten by the other monkeys.

Well, look, we've got some,

this is just a good, a feel good news story, everyone

because punch the monkey has finally found a friend.

There's videos that have come out.

There's paparazzi shots of punch

making out with another inmate, so.

And he did not set those up.

I called it an inmate, but I didn't,

I'm not a primate.

I mean, they are inmate.

They are inmate.

They're in prison in a zoo.

So sorry for the faux pas,

but it kind of fits this one.

Look, yeah, he's making out with another monkey

and the kissing and the cuddling

and like he's just moved on and he's found love

and he's been accepted by his monkey friends

and he's living his best life.

It's actually the cutest little photo.

I know.

And they're not set up pap photos.

They don't, you can tell they don't even know it.

I already called the Daily Mail.

He knew his star was going out.

People don't care like they did two weeks ago.

So I'm not relevant anymore.

Someone pushed me down the stairs.

I've been auditioning for 12 years.

The sales for the monkey had started deep

and so they were like, okay, call out the Daily Mail.

Anyway, there's some really cute photos

and he's, he's just happy guys

and I know you all needed the update, just decided.

And here we are.

Rumor is, Rumor has it that it might be his girlfriend.

They're pregnant.

They've moved in together.

There's twins, who's the dad?

Well, like something that has taken over,

I would say all of the new speeds this week,

the Oscars, we didn't talk about it on Wednesday's episode.

The reason for that is because everybody was talking about it

and we thought sometimes we want to cover things

that are a little bit different to every other podcast.

Yeah, here we are talking about the Oscars.

We thought we were about love story and punch couldn't.

So we thought we were talking about things in the world.

No, I was going to say I thought we would talk about it

a week late instead.

Now, you guys know that like this episode is supposed to be

the stuff that either couldn't make it into the main air

but it's the things that we've been obsessed with.

And I know that everyone would have heard by now,

Timothy Chalamet, the Oscars.

You guys would have seen the controversial comments

he made about the ballet and the opera.

Now, this isn't new.

This came out like a month ago.

He was with Matthew McConaughey, podcast interview

I'm pretty sure I could be wrong,

but he basically said that no one's into the ballet

or the opera anymore.

The internet was very angry.

So they should be.

It was a shitty comment.

Well, the question also has so much of this backlash

that he's receiving.

Is it because what the internet is saying

that he's arrogant or he's changed

or is it the byproduct of dating our Kardashian?

Is it because he is in a relationship with Kylie

and the world has turned against him

because of how we feel that the brand of Timothy Chalamet

doesn't actually match up with dating a Kardashian?

Well, it's interesting

because we were talking about this

before we started filming, believe it or not,

we do do some prep.

But not sound like it.

And yeah, I think you and I Laura have different views

on this one.

I don't think that he's disliked

because he's dating Kylie Jenner.

He's been with Kylie Jenner for what?

I think like three and a half years now,

but no one really knows

because they were quite secretive at the start.

But by the posts and the declarations over the years,

it seems like three, three and a half years.

It's very serious.

She has kids, he's by all accounts are stepped out

and they're very involved,

but I don't think his dislike comes from dating Kylie Jenner.

I think how serious people take him

and maybe some credibility has been impacted

because of dating Kylie Jenner.

Like I think when you just touch yourself

to the Kardashian Jenner brand,

it definitely has its own energy around it.

Like they are from a reality TV background.

They've been doing it for 20 years.

They are still on reality TV.

It hasn't been, it's a Timothy.

Timothy.

Shut up.

No, I remember something coming out

about everyone pronouncing his name or anything.

Oh, look, he's so artsy.

It has to be Timothy.

Is that one of the little,

I sound like such an uncultured swine here,

but it has an accent.

He's an accent over one of the ease.

Yeah.

So that's what I don't know how to pronounce it.

Let's call him Timmy.

Let's call him Timothy.

So I like it.

Shut up.

Well, I think that he's association

and I do wonder if he considered that when they met.

Now, even I hate to say it,

but he was a very serious, very artsy actor

the first couple of years before he was associated with her.

I think he took his profession very seriously.

I still think he takes his profession very seriously,

but I think other people can't take him

as seriously now that he is with Kylie Jenner.

That is a shame.

But I don't think that's why people dislike him.

I think he's an arrogant little wanker now.

The things that he is saying are so rude and obnoxious.

I think they always were though.

This is the thing.

So I agree with you.

I agree with you.

I think it's a perfect storm.

And I have spent an unfortunate amount of time

thinking about this because for someone who doesn't really

care that much about Timothy Shalame

or about Kylie Jenner at all,

the fact that this is consumed me has really done

a number of me.

But I think it's because I'm interested in brands, right?

Like I love the storytelling

and I really find personal brands interesting.

And I think what's happened here

is that it is this perfect storm between,

once from the time he was like the absolute pin up,

like people adored him.

They loved him.

He could do no wrong.

He was artsy.

He was the tortured soul.

He did really interesting artsy movies

where he played characters that were dark and very complex.

There is this incredible juxtaposition

between that version of what we will have a lot of allowances for

because we go, oh, it's Timothy Shalame.

He's so tortured.

So it's okay that he has these alternate views.

But now this juxtaposition is that he's dating someone

who's highly commercial.

Their brand has an, you know, I'm not saying it is superficial

but it kind of leans into that superficiality.

What is?

It's all makeup and reality TV and look space.

Yeah, like it is.

Like it's reality TV.

It could not be more polar opposing

from the brand in which Timothy Shalame created.

And I think when he very first started dating Kylie,

the overall consensus was like,

well, that's a weird match.

And I think at the start,

people were interested and fascinated in it.

And now they've been together for such a period of time

that I actually think people,

they have a distrust for him now

because they're like the version that we thought you were

doesn't match up to the version of what you're living.

And I know that that's not fair.

It's like people impose this.

But now what happens is like you have this sense

of unlikability, right?

Like you're like, oh, there's something about you

I just don't trust or I just don't get.

So when he then does something like the ballet

or the opera comment, which is arrogant,

which is rude, which is self-entitled,

it's the aha moment that everyone was just waiting for

to confirm the reasons why they actually felt

like they didn't like him.

Because the ballet comment and the opera comment,

I mean, it's bad, but it's not bad enough to get canceled, is it?

Connie Worseman in Hollywood, that's his role.

Yeah, I mean, like we've got sex offenders in Hollywood

and they didn't get canceled,

but this guy's getting done for dating a Kardashian

and saying that the opera's a bit shit.

But he's not, he's not getting canceled.

Is he getting shot on by a lot of people in the industry?

Yeah, because you don't shit on other people

in your industry, you don't.

He literally said no one cares about the opera or the ballet.

Like that's what he said, while he's on his Oscars fucking

to his interview tour, he's a lotion to a punch down.

Well, it's just the, it's one of those unspoken rules

in the industry, like you just don't do it.

I think it was particularly like spicy, though,

because he came from an art school.

I think, sorry, I should have actually researched this,

I'm pretty sure his mum and his sister were a part

of like the New York City Ballet or something.

Yeah, yeah.

It felt like such a weird dig

that maybe he should have had with his family at dinner

as a joke, you know?

Yeah, I assisted being like, no one cares about your world.

I totally agree.

And like, I don't want to go too much

into the ballet and opera commentary

because I do think it's been covered extensively.

But I wouldn't be like us to cover it.

No, but I think that the reaction was so severe

and I do think that people have just been waiting

to have a reason to hate him.

And I'm not saying that he hasn't come across,

I think he's come across quite arrogant

in a lot of interviews.

I think he has this air of like, I'm better than you,

but you don't quite know why.

And I really think, and I mean, he doesn't care what I think,

but dating a Kardashian does nothing for him

and his likability.

I would put it that way.

Yeah, I don't know.

I disagree.

I don't like blaming a woman for someone's likability.

I don't think she's what's dragging him down at all

to be honest.

That's my personal opinion.

I think he's done it to himself.

And like, if you're gonna go around saying this kind of thing

about people, if you're gonna go presenting yourself,

like who are we to then say, oh, it's not what you're saying,

it's the woman you've attached yourself to.

No, I think be careful because you're making it seem like

I've said that she is the problem.

It's the brand of the Kardashians that's the problem.

I'm not saying it's a woman that's affected his brand.

I'm saying the Kardashian brand.

Her public brand and that she's created

is what is impacting his public brand.

Not the fact that he's dating a woman

who's affected his career.

Well, I understand that.

I just feel differently.

I don't think that's why we don't like him.

I think that's why we don't take him as seriously.

And for me, they're two separate things.

I think that you can still like someone

and not take them seriously anymore and vice versa.

I think it's reflective of how we view

traditional content creators being actors

versus modern content creators being influences.

I think that we have a disdain for influences

and we don't, like you said, respect them.

But I actually think internally and it's misogynistic,

but we think that they're vapoured.

We think that they are less worthy of adoration

than what we used to think of like big Hollywood actors.

Completely.

And also like the Kardashian brand and Kylie Jenner

is so much more successful than Timothy Shalame

if we're gonna use metrics of income, of notoriety

and of all of the things that would in terms of a public sphere

make someone more successful.

It's just the type of, I guess, respect

that we have for that success.

Like she is absolutely the business woman.

She has brands.

All of those things she has created and of herself.

But the type of person who loves a Kylie Kardashian Jenner

but you don't get that figure

is not necessarily the same person

that loves a respected actor.

And I think that that's where the divide is happening.

This one's about all the single people out there.

Ah, the single letters.

It's been something that I've seen floating around.

I think people have been doubling in it

for maybe the last year or 18 months,

but it's really taken off at the moment

and it's become more mainstream.

You can actually, I don't know if you buy the tickets

but you can actually turn up to these events now

where I think for the last 18 months

it's just been like a fun singles idea.

Now it's legitimized.

There is a night for singles that's called

Pitch Your Friend Night.

And I think it is brilliant.

So what you do is you sign up to this singles night

and you go with your friend.

So every person there has to be vetted by somebody.

So like by the friend.

So you know that they're good, right?

Like they've come with a recommendation.

At least one person in the world likes them.

Charlie, who knows?

Could be your mom, who knows?

But one, imagine your mom pitching you out

to a crowd bug.

No, sorry.

If a mom pitched her son, everyone would fawn over it.

They would be like, that's so sweet.

No, no, no, no.

It was H.S. Tiki Docky's mom.

She's like, pick up the juice.

No, so it's called Pitch Your Single Friend Night.

And what it is is you have three minutes.

So you, you can't just all go rogue.

You have to be approved.

There's like 10 presentations a night

and you arrive with your friend.

You've got three minutes on stage.

So you go up on stage and you have made

a three minute PowerPoint presentation

to literally pitch your friend.

So you can include whatever you want in that presentation

and you can say whatever you want to deliver it.

So your single friends just there, like a stunned mullet,

I guess they're just standing there on display.

There's a crowd of people and you don't have to be single.

Like you can also just go with friends,

like a group of friends.

It's also a social night.

You get up for three minutes, you pitch,

and then every couple of pictures, you get to mingle.

So there's like a drink break because you're at a bar.

So everyone just goes around and you're not mingling,

like it's not like speed dating and it's not like awkward one on one.

It's just like all of a sudden for that 20 minutes or half

now you're at a bar.

So everyone's talking groups of people are talking

and then you go back to the presentations when it's time

and then next round of people pitch.

This could be seen in two ways.

It could be perceived as being like brilliant,

another fun dating way of getting people out there,

you know, mix and get singles together.

It could also be seen a little bit like,

this is my poor lost puppy friend who needs me to help them

because they can't get a person themselves.

So I've created a PowerPoint presentation for my golden retriever.

Oh, I think some people aren't good at advertising themselves.

I think especially if they're humble or self-deprecating people,

but do you know what this, I think it's a great idea.

I just want to have that out there.

I feel so sorry for the person whose friend is pitching about them

because like, you know when it's your birthday

and the birthday cake's coming in the candles or the spark.

That's what I mean by it.

And everyone's looking at you and you're like,

I don't know what to do with my hair.

I think so, let me show you a picture.

We'll put this up as an example,

but here's a picture of pitching, right?

So one friend's got the mic

and she's presenting the PowerPoint,

the other girl's standing there with a wine.

But it's got a beautiful picture of her

and it's got fun facts.

She self-regulates emotionally, physically and mentally.

She suits every hair color.

She once turned a nightclub into an arm,

wrestle stadium and one.

Is that you?

I'm worried about myself.

That is all things that I would do.

But I think it's, I don't know.

I think it's a vibe.

I think it's something new.

We're in the wild again.

People, you know this pendulum,

like we're sick of the online world,

whereas only a year or two ago,

the thought of meeting someone in the wild was gave us the ik.

We wanted to be sitting at home in our comfort

and swiping in the safety of our lounge room.

But now we're done with that.

Like we've seen all the decreasing online dating apps

and we want to be back in the wild meeting people

and they've said,

they've had loads of successful couples come out of these dyes

and not just the people that were being pitched,

other people that were just going to mingle and have a night out.

So I think it only works if you as the single person

has volunteered and are happily,

like you are a willing participant in this.

Are the ones dragged there?

But like imagine if your friend was like,

hey, come to this night with me,

doesn't tell you what it is and then they pitch you

as like, fuck it's about time for Keisha to get a boyfriend.

Here she is.

It cannot be there if you don't want to be there.

This is voluntary.

That's like, I think if you are a willing participant,

it is a nice experience.

If you are not, it is truly horrifying

for a single person, people in that situation.

The crowds are sitting there and what name tags on.

It's a conference for a meet and greet for single people.

I love it.

Do you reckon that the person pitching,

do you think that they have to be in a relationship

or do you think that they also have to be single?

Because I think the vibe is different

when you're like pitching for your friend, right?

But if you're also single, like you're at an event

with all these other single people,

are you kind of, I don't know,

could they be trying to usurp the person

that they're doing the presentation about

with their comedy skills?

No, I don't think it matters

who the presenter is.

It's not about them.

They're just a prop to set their friend up.

But I don't think it matters

if they're in a relationship or not.

But I wonder if you would have a better presentation

on somebody if you were not interested in not looking.

So if you're in a relationship,

you could just like completely go all out

for your presentation for your friend.

No, I would have loved to have done one on you guys.

I would have loved it.

Oh, you know, I had some great success

in dating in my time.

Jesus.

Do you know what though?

I think Laura with her favorite monkey.

He's busy.

Pleasure to meet you.

Laura washing a thing in the sink.

She's very clean.

Do you know what though?

I think the whole like PowerPoint presentation trend,

it's very retro and it is having,

it's making a comeback.

People had been doing like PowerPoint presentation nights

to explain to their friends what's their job.

I don't know if you guys have seen this,

but it was viral recently on Insta

and it was a like a PowerPoint night

where groups of girlfriends were getting together

and they had to do like a five minute presentation

explaining their job but in a hilarious way

because like we all have that friend

whose job we actually don't really know what they do.

Like I have a friend who works in like investment brooking

and then she tries to explain the floor that she works on

and I was like, so we're for Wall Street.

She's like kinder, but I don't get it

and she's explained it so many times

or it's like in finance

and I'm like cool, fun.

I have no idea what my brother and Lord J does.

See, I've traveled the world with him,

lived with him for years in Nigma.

Like I know, but I don't know.

People always like, what is J do?

I'm like, oh, just like some stuff online.

This is like, we all have that person right?

We all know someone and their job is just so confusing

to our brains that we're like, I don't fucking get

what you do with your day, but go on, keep going.

Well done, play on.

I actually so one of these PowerPoint presentation nights

to be like what's a conspiracy that you believe in

and I thought that was brilliant.

I thought that would be really funny.

I would love that night.

Can someone start a thread on the Facebook group?

What's your PowerPoint presentation night

that you want?

I want to hear about it.

I have a tinfoil hat.

I'm waiting.

I love to put it on.

Like whenever friends come over, I'm like,

I actually have to edit out a lot of Brits conspiracy theories.

Do you know, I never used to be this bad,

Ben made me worse.

I like dabbled in it, but I still like to like a little bit

of fact and science behind my conspiracies.

Like I like to be able to loosely link it to science

or something that really happened.

Ben is like full-blown conspiracy.

He doesn't need any link, but I have gotten sucked

into his world a little bit.

And now I pretty much need nothing.

Like I'll see an instepo so it could be anything

and I'll be like, did you hear?

Hey, okay.

How far on the conspiracy theory trajectory is Ben?

Like one being.

Moon didn't happen.

Oh, I think Moon landing didn't happen.

He thinks his aliens.

He thinks aliens built the pyramids?

No, he just thinks they're here.

I think there's aliens too.

I don't think they're here, but I think there's aliens.

I see believe that 5G is giving so cancer.

He sent me something this morning that Ben and Netanyahu

is not really alive anymore and it's all AI.

Like I get a lot of conspiracy theories sent to me daily

by Ben.

I get puppy videos.

I love you, Reels and conspiracy Reels.

Wow.

Yeah, but he's like, it's not like he,

he doesn't walk around spouting it as info to people.

And he doesn't try and convince people.

He just loves getting sucked into those worlds

and imagining it.

Like he doesn't walk around telling people

and finding people that the earth is flat.

He's just about to say, what shape does he think the planet is?

Octagon.

Yeah, so it's, I am, I am.

Yeah, let's do a conspiracy now.

I'd love that.

Or a conspiracy episode.

Maybe we can do a bonus episode on conspiracy theories.

So we will literally get canceled to that.

It's misinformation.

Right.

It's not if you label it conspiracy.

It's not fat.

All right, Keisha, this one's for you

because I know that you are just sick for sleep.

I have come across two things this week

that both of them I sent to Matt instantly

because sleep, unfortunately,

lack of sleep is dominating my life at the moment.

We've gone through the regression,

which I told you guys about.

And I'm functioning surprisingly well

for someone who has had literally no sleep for patients.

You actually never look tired.

It's weird.

Is that a conspiracy?

Laura Cloned.

Laura's the alien.

Or she doesn't actually have kids.

I don't even have kids.

She never looks tired.

So in the last two nights, back to back,

because Poppy's been sick.

If you listen to Wednesday, I winded about it then

and I'll do it again.

She's not breastfeeding anymore.

And I have, I've stopped breastfeeding.

She's been sick for like the last three days.

And in 48 hours, I have had a combined six hour sleep

in 48 hours.

But you would not know that.

It's that's it.

She has been waking up every 20 minutes

because she's so congested.

No, but you suck this, not ours.

I did with my mouth.

No, I used, I used the little first suction bottle.

She hates it though.

You spray the saline in the nose

and then you cover one nostril

and you use this little squishy pump thing

and it goes, and it sucks it out.

Like, it's like it's been sucked out of a black hole.

But the poor thing, she hates it.

People that don't have kids, it disgusted.

I actually felt vomit coming up.

Really?

I'm talking about the mouth over it.

It was something about snort.

It's like, it's a joke.

I didn't actually suck it out with my mouth.

But back in the day, back in the day, it's all you had.

You got to do what you got to do.

And look, look, I've been,

because the internet knows I'm tired

and the internet knows I care about sleep stuff

at the moment.

And because I bought an aura ring,

it's decided that this is the content I need to be fed.

And I read something, which I think every single mother

will relate to and it may also help your relationship.

So I bicker with Matt all the time

about the fact that he sleeps like a log.

And I wake up to every single noise

that our children make.

Like if our children, if Lola even winpers

or coughs or sneezes from another room,

I am wide awake.

And I know that like someone in the house is not asleep.

Yeah.

He doesn't.

He can sleep through anything.

And if you guys remember, I had a moment the other night,

we're mad and I had a fight in the middle of the night

because I'd asked him about 10 times to go and get a bottle

and he was literally asleep standing up.

He completely fell back asleep and wasn't listening to me.

It must be nice.

So houses, this is based on science,

which means I have to give him a little bit of a pass.

Then can typically sleep through every noise at night time.

But after a woman gives birth, she literally cannot

because childbirth causes a permanent enlargement

of the amygdala in a woman's brain,

keeping a mother on high alert 24, 7,

even while she is asleep.

Your brain is completely restructured

during the act of childbirth,

the rush of hormones that you get

and by that happening to you.

And like I think it is also like the like later stages

of pregnancy also impacts this,

but your brain restructures.

And so when you're in that kind of like fight or flight stage,

where you're always on alert for something bad to happen

or for a noise or something,

like think about it back in the day

when you're worried you're gonna get eaten by wolf.

That's the feeling you have as a mother

all the time even when you're asleep.

And in addition to this,

which might be news to everyone,

a single night of poor sleep

can make you 60% more reactive

to negative emotions the next day.

So when you've had bad sleep and you're not key and upset

and you wanna pick a fight with your husband,

well now you have every right.

Well you don't have every right

but you've got an explanation.

Oh no you have every right.

Every right.

Do you know what's even more infuriating?

I know this has nothing to do with what's in the news,

but it's happening in my life.

It just makes you so mad when you've had a really bad sleep

and the person next to you

has just had a really refreshing great time.

It affects your whole life sleep.

And you can't catch up on sleep.

You can't have a week of bad sleep

and be like, I'll just sleep for a week now to catch up.

It doesn't, it never replenishes if that makes sense.

Doesn't the debt catch up?

I think the debt does accumulate.

I think you can catch it up

but maybe not in the same way.

Certainly not if you got three kids.

I don't think you can.

I think you have to have the time to catch up the sleep,

which is what you lack the most.

Yes, this is true.

But also I just find this really interesting

because something about my sleep quality

has completely changed since becoming a parent

and it's not just about the kids being restless at night time.

I do feel as though I do not sleep as deeply anymore.

And I think that I used to be at a go to bed at 10 p.m.

and not wake up until the next morning

unless I desperately needed to wait.

Like nothing would have gotten me out of my slumber.

And now, and it's something I've been so aware of,

like any noise I'm the one that's awake in the house.

Are you a nightwear, Kish?

I was like, I get up four to five times a night to pee.

It's a really bad.

It's so weird to me.

Ben is a nightwear too.

I have not gotten up in the night to pee 15 years.

I do not wear at night.

Really?

That'll never do one wear at night.

I'm very well-toiletrated.

Well, I can't.

I'm like a puppy.

No accidents.

You know what, though, about this whole brain thing.

A part of me actually does wonder if this is like

weaponized neuroscience

because yes, you can experience neural plasticity

from different events.

That's absolutely true.

But I kind of do wonder how much of this is also environmental.

And it's back to conversations about the mental load.

And like, yes, there could very likely be

a neurobiological change that happens in your amygdala

that can make you more alert.

But I also question how much of it is environmental

because I have a friend.

She works in breakfast radio.

Her husband is the best.

I just love him.

He's such a good man.

And he is the one who was working up

to do the nighttime stuff with their daughter.

He's the primary parent.

And it just makes me kind of question

like how much of this is actually

neurobiological versus environmental?

How much is it?

Well, I've heard they've kind of gone,

oh, well, the science says that you're just more alert.

So I'm going to stay asleep.

Oh, you're like weaponized and competent.

It's weaponized in your science.

No, I don't think it's necessarily weaponized neuroscience.

There is, I mean, and this is why I found it so interesting

because there is studies that have shown

that it is one of the biggest changes, like neurochanges

that happens in a woman's body

throughout their lifetime.

If they choose to have children,

your amygdala increases in size.

Like it grows in size through your pregnancy

and then through the postpartum period.

So there is like a,

there is not only just a chemical change,

but there is a structural change

that happens in the brain.

However, it doesn't mean that your partner can't get

the fuck out of bed.

They still got in the mix a lot.

They can still get in.

I just need two percent smaller.

And that's exactly, that's,

it's made like having a megdala.

You said that's going to be the next argument I have

with Matt.

When he's like, I'm so tired,

I'd be like, well, you also have a megdala.

I'm megdala.

You have a megdala, God dammit.

Do you know what I remember learning

about the amygdala in neuroscience?

This is over a decade ago at uni.

And they found that the function of the amygdala,

this is a really sad story,

that they lesioned in monkeys.

They had to euthanize the monkeys

because they couldn't get them to suppress their rage.

They were like, so full of rage,

maybe that's what's happened to Molly.

Her megdala, maybe,

we're just collision on her megdala.

Is she full of rage?

Full of six-year-old rage.

Is she, maybe she's not sleeping on her?

I'm petrified of that kid.

Really?

It really seems that like you get more irritable.

Is where you get angry?

Well, segue, what kind of rage?

Oh, she's just hit the six-year-old

angry back-chatting age.

Like she just back-chats about everything.

Give me an example of a back-chat.

Okay.

Like this is in like,

do you tell her to do something

and she goes, so is your mom.

Like, what level is it?

I don't care.

Like, can you pick up that toy, Molly?

Yeah. Hey, Molly, you've just dropped that on the floor.

Can you pick that up and put it away?

I don't care.

Well, you will care because I'm going to make you pick it up.

Ugh.

I roll.

So she got in trouble with the teacher the other day

and she came home and told me.

And I was like, well, what happened?

She told through what happened.

And I was like, you were in trouble

because you back-chatted to your teacher, Molly.

That is not okay.

And so we're going through this real.

She is really.

Like, have the last word.

Yeah.

Buster does it as well, you know?

I'll say Buster stop and he'll go, woof.

It's like she does do it.

She's like, fuck you.

She loves it.

She's really pushing boundaries at the moment

and she really needs to get the last say in.

And it's a funny thing because I don't remember going

through the phase of it, but I do remember

that I had that feeling of like, when I was in trouble

or when I was being reprimanded for something,

I always wanted to be like, yeah, back at someone.

And so you walk away from your parents

when you're in trouble, you say something on your breath

and they're like, don't mumble under your breath.

And so you just want to be like, yeah, like one word.

I don't care.

You just want the last, like, and then my room,

my phone being like, stop fucking grunting.

Don't say word.

Go to bed quietly and I'd be like,

this turned into a therapy session.

I'm putting it out of any other parents

who might have a device or maybe you're a child psychologist

and you have advice.

We have hit like a real back-chats stage.

And I don't really think I'm that person or parent

that's like, you must respect me.

Like, that's not the angle I take.

But I do take the angle of like, if mum says something,

you don't turn around and you don't disregard what I'm saying

and you don't talk back to me.

But yeah, I don't think I'm doing it right.

It's not working.

Maybe you treat your gender parenting.

Yeah, smack them.

So.

But when you're like, I don't make my kids respect me.

Like, I'm not really a parent.

I'm just not that one.

I'm not that type of parent that's like, you must respect me.

I'm the parent.

I'm right.

Like, I'm not that version of a parent.

And I think that's how I was raised a little bit.

I think like we were the-

I'd say normal like things.

Yeah, I don't say respect your elders.

I say respect everyone.

Like if someone's telling you how they feel about something,

you respect what they say.

You don't roll your eyes at them and you don't grunt at them.

My experience of your kids has always been it.

They've had really beautiful manners.

So this does seem like the same.

But they should say about you behind your back kids.

No, my kids like that.

My kids are really well behaved.

It's just, it's just I think a little six, seven-year-old.

She's got a big, big, big villa.

A big, big villa.

She has a lesion on her window.

That's it.

I want to finish up with a very viral cold-play kiss cam.

God, say that three times faster.

Hey, you know how when we started this episode,

I said that sometimes we like to talk about things

a week late.

Did you see the viral kiss cam?

No, there's an update.

There's an update where we did a year.

There's an update.

So, like I come in, I'm going to say this.

Offcuts - New Hall Passes, Date My Mate Presentations and ‘Weaponised’ Neuroscience

About this Episode

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