Once I discovered my past life, nothing was the same. (This is how) | Quazi Johir

0:00Three weeks ago, I had a conversation with my coach that completely changed my life. And this conversation was centered around self-worth, and I had always thought that I felt good enough. But the wounds from my past just ran so deep. It was so unconscious that it wasn't even available for me to see. And I finally started to realize why certain things in my life have happened the way that they have, and why I've never felt good enough, no matter how much I achieved. And how I always found a way to sabotage what I had achieved and just hit this revenue barrier in my business. So in today's video, I share with you my biggest realizations around self-worth. The biggest blind spots people have when it comes to self-worth, and two main exercises that you can do to not only uncover these blind spots, but also actually increase your self-worth and what can happen when you do. So with that, let's get started. Your self-worth affects your ability to manifest your dream life in one main way.

1:03You'll notice that people who become really, really wealthy, most of the time, they come from a place of a very low self-worth. And to compensate for that lack of self-worth, they try to accumulate wealth, material things, and they always chase validation from other people. We seek from others what we cannot give to ourselves. And this behavior just becomes so habitual over time, seeking this approval from other people, because you didn't get it from your parents growing up, you didn't get it from people around you as you were younger. And so you always believe that you weren't good enough, and you thought one day when I become wealthy enough, or when I get this and have this, then I will be worthy, then I will be special. Then, and you always delay it to then, and no matter how much you accumulate, it never really becomes enough. You're always chasing the next thing to fill this internal void within. When you come from that place of, I'm not enough, you can still become successful, but the issue is you'll never be able to maintain your success, because you can never ease into it. You can never ease into the world. Even when you do become wealthy, there's always the fear of losing it.

2:05Even when you gain something, there's always the fear of its loss. You're always on your toes. You're never fully comfortable in your skin and being who you are. On the contrary, if you have a very good sense of self-worth, you genuinely become fulfilled with your life. And now, a lot of people think like, oh, okay, if I become fulfilled, then I won't chase success, then I won't be successful. It won't make me work hard. Now, what if there were another paradigm where you didn't have to chase, chase, chase, all the time and grind, grind, grind, but you could be as you are and just attract all the wealth that you wanted. Think about people who make it really, really high up, like Warren Buffett or Charlie Munger. And these people, you know, they're kind of playing a game, like Elon Musk. He doesn't care about money. You know, money is just, it's just an ancillary thing. He's not chasing money. Money is a byproduct of him chasing his vision. And again, you know, Elon Musk doesn't have the best childhood. He also got bullied, but he's always focused on the vision and in creating value and just playing the game and playing a fun game that he attracts all of the wealth as a byproduct. So if you come from a place of, I'm already good enough,

3:07let's see what we can create from this great place. Even though you'll just see you'll naturally attract the wealth that you need to create the life that you want and beyond what you could have even imagined, you'll also ease into that wealth, which will allow you to live a more fulfilled life and you won't always be fearing losing wealth. If little fluctuations have been month to month in your income, it doesn't affect you as much because you're not identified with that money, that money, that business, that income, it's not you. It's something that you have. A couple of weeks ago, I was working with one of my coaches, a coach who specializes in doing shadow work. He told me that, hey, there's something in your childhood that's making you not feel good enough, because I would always notice that when I would become successful, you know, I would have a really good month, I would also then a couple months later have bad months and it would affect me so much, because I was so deeply identified with the business. The business defined me instead of me defining the business, but also I was having trouble in my relationships. I was having trouble in my marriage, where, you know, I just wouldn't give my wife permission to be who she is,

4:09because I didn't feel comfortable. I always felt a little bit insecure. And I always noticed that everything in my reality was just coming alive as a result of my insecurity. So what he told me to do was speak to my parents, because he felt like there was something in my childhood around my parents' leaving. And I told him that my parents had left for a whole year when I was around three, four years old. So I called my mom up and I was like, hey, how long did you leave for? And she was like, your dad and I left for a year, and we actually talked to you about it before leaving, because they went to work abroad to earn money. And again, I don't regret this at all. Like, I am where I am today, because they did that and they put food on the table and they earned enough income, because we were in a poverty-stricken environment, and I wouldn't have a future. So I understand why they did it now. My adult brain does, but my child brain, when they left me, you know, my mom would say, every time she would come back to visit like every three months, I wouldn't call her mom, you know, I wouldn't just say, oh, mom, and I would just be shy. I wouldn't want to show myself to her. My grandma would say, like, oh, he would always ask, like, oh, this person's mom is at home,

5:09that person's mom is at home, why isn't my mom at home? And deep down, the revelation came to me that if I were good enough, my parents wouldn't have left me. And that's what maybe something that I had been carrying around with me my whole life. And that's why, for me, no matter what I do, it just never feels like it's enough. You know, because I'm trying to seek validation outside, like, in school with good grades, like, oh, I would get really good grades and come in second place. Ah, your piece of shit, it's not good enough. With romantic partners, like, you know, I would have a really good relationship and then find a way to sabotage it. Ah, it's not good enough. You're not good enough to maintain it. You're not good enough to get that girl. And I would always keep getting rejected by women because I self-rejected. I would also get bullied because I would self-reject. If I was good enough, I would be hanging out with the cool kids. And there was always something shiny that I was chasing because I was looking seeking validation from outside because I couldn't give it to myself. I couldn't give that love to myself. I never internally felt like I was good enough. So this realization now that I understand it,

6:09I understand what this character's motives are. It's being influenced by that experience and childhood. And now what I've recently come to realize is that event that I attracted in my childhood of my parents leaving. That could have been a comic propensity. That could have been something unfulfilled from my past life where I didn't feel good enough and I died in one of my past lives, not feeling good enough with that craving feeling in my soul. I passed from that earthly realm. Therefore, my soul reincarnated in this body to attract these particular scenarios where my parents leave me when I'm young where I get rejected by women, where I get bullied and where I, no matter how much success, I attract how much money I make, it's never good enough to fill that void within. And so this is the realization that arose within me. And now the saying goes, if you can't solve a problem, if you're not even aware of it, awareness is 80% of the problem itself. So now that I'm becoming aware of it, I can understand what my motives are. And actually, I can relax more and more into it. And disown, not take it so personally,

7:12not take all of those motives, all of these actions so personally, it's not me. This is just the character acting out its past life, current life traumas. In order for you to come to terms with your own self and self worth, there's a couple of things that need to happen. Number one, you need to begin spending a lot more time with yourself, hanging out with yourself. One of the things my coach told me to do is go on a self date because I'm always looking to hang out with other people. And I realized that's because I don't feel good enough with myself. It's hard for me to stay silent, stay quiet and sit still. And you'll notice that the more self worth you have, the easier it is for you to sit still and hang out by yourself because you love yourself so much. I actually got this advice from my personal trainer. He's like 67 years old and he'd been training with Arnold and then back in the golds gym days in California. And he's like, oh, I always like hung out with myself. And you'll always see like people who are the most fulfilled. They're just completely content hanging out by themselves. And Richard Feynman said that boredom is a sign of an unintelligent mind.

8:13Right? So if you're intelligent, you'll never really get bored because you can always keep yourself entertained. There's a lot to explore within yourself. So start spending more time with yourself and understanding yourself. The more you understand yourself, the easier it is to create outcomes in your life because the external world that you see is a reflection of your internal world. So even if it's a simple enough practice, as 20 minutes a day, you simply meditating or being with nature going out on a walk by yourself, even as little as that is good. Every single moment you have in your day to day living that you can be alone and be content, be with yourself. Do that. Hang out with yourself. And I would say at least once a week, find a time to go on a self date for an hour. You know, you just go out to a restaurant by yourself and just be with yourself. You're taking yourself out. That's number one. The other thing which I think is incredibly powerful is a branch of shadow work. And what I mean by that is you'll notice that within you, there are many different personas. You have the ego that always wants to put on a mask

9:13and show a face to the world. You have the shadow, the parts of you that you've suppressed. So for example, if you've grown up in a strictly religious household, you've been told that certain things are wrong. Those wrong things, you start to see more and more in your reality because that's part of your shadow. That's what people are reflecting. Then you have the inner child, the part of you that just wants to play all the time and doesn't give a fuck about anything else. There's the feminine or masculine counterpart that you have to your psyche. So there are all these different parts of you. Now what happens is we accept some parts of ourselves and we reject other parts of ourselves. And what Carl Jung talked about is the process of individuation when you begin to accept each and every single part of yourself. And sometimes you'll notice that there are parts of you like the shadow, which you feel very, very uncomfortable accepting. And there is a tension in there. Stay with that tension, that feeling of tenseness, the resistance. Stay with that feeling instead of running away from it. When we do something, the action itself becomes a form of escape. So when you have a craving for dessert or food or engaging in a behavior that you didn't intend, you find is self-destructive.

10:15There is a moment right before you engage in that behavior. The impulse arises and then you react to that impulse. Instead of following that loop, cut it off right there by staying with that impulse, that feeling of discomfort within your body that's making you want to act. Stay with that discomfort. This is the stimulus response cycle that I talk about in one of the videos. So one of our clients precious went through a really tough divorce and became a single mom. And she didn't feel deep down that she was worthy of attracting a partner. And because she didn't feel worthy of attracting a partner, she would go out on these dates and, you know, on used dating apps. And she would just find that nothing ever clicked. She wasn't really finding the partner she was looking for. She just didn't feel like anyone was good enough. And that typically happens when you don't feel good enough. That's what's reflected. When we helped her shift her identity to becoming her true self,

11:16who she was meant to be and become comfortable in that, what happened was she naturally got to a place where she just didn't seek a partner anymore. She felt whole and complete by herself. As soon as that happened, she met a man who also had a child and she had written that down in one of her guides when she started the program that that was one of her intention that they have two kids together. And now eight months later, they have a very fulfilling relationship and they just gone ring shopping on track to getting engaged. And this is how she brought her ideal partner into her life by first herself feeling good enough. So if you would like to learn how to reach individuation, have every single part of you be fully accepted and actually have self worth, you need to learn how to stay with that impulse, how to properly surrender and fully accept every single part of you. And to learn that, you have to understand the stimulus response cycle, which I outline in this video right here. You can just click right here to access this video. It's right on YouTube completely free to access. So just click right here and it'll take you to that video.