One Year On… To My Friend Charlie Kirk.

0:00Today, I've waited such a long time for this. She has. Prepare to be bewitched in your own systems. Yeah, everyone we love dies. It's not great for the tender fire. Sandra Bullock. Here's the thing about magic. It won't be silenced. Nicole Kidman. Everything is going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay? Just like it was when we had to bury a corpse under a roast bush? Different, different. The practical magic to read PG 13 maybe inappropriate for children under 13 male playing only in theaters. All right, you guys. Today marks the one year anniversary of Charlie's death. Obviously a lot has changed since September 10th. Our world and certainly my world is never going to be the same. I had been thinking of what to share with you guys on this day, what message to share with you. More memories of Charlie of course, but I also thought it would be a good idea to take you guys through some journaling that I did throughout the year. Obviously not all of it, but I found that it did help me emotionally throughout the year to write to Charlie.

1:01And obviously I wish I also wasn't eight months pregnant doing this when I'm already in a heightened emotional state. But there's not really much I can do about that. So here goes nothing. This first bit I wrote in mid October when we were out in Wyoming. Okay, it reads. Dear Charlie, I'm really mad at you for being dead. I don't really know how else to open it or how else to say it. I'm sure there are softer or kinder things that I could have gone with. But you know, I'm just so upset with you for not listening to me. You never really listened to me. I'm in Wyoming right now, which is one of our favorite states. We both loved the mountains and it's reminding me of another time that you didn't listen to me. When I told you that running 10 miles every single day was too much on your body that you were going to get injured. And then you did you injured your back. You were always that way, Charlie, like you just couldn't do anything halfway. That's why you hated fishing. I really love that picture of us in British Columbia holding the big salmon because I can hear you.

2:01And I remember so clearly as soon as the photo was taken, you said, disgusting. You never appreciated fishing because you weren't really made for slumming down. You always were doing 10 things at once. Anyway, I'm out here because your death almost drove me insane. You won't believe it, but I actually did the thing. It was oddly clinical. I started making my way through the quote unquote stages of grief. I wept for weeks and I now realize why we don't use that verb very often to weep. Because it's different from crying. It just comes from a different place. It's distinctly gutter roll almost animalistic sounding. And I want you to know that I weep for you, Charlie. I also have to say that I don't need you haunting me in my sleep. I can feel your presence in a way that feels haunting. The dreams are too vivid and I know deep down that they're not just dreams. I think I know how you felt back in 2018. My priest tells me that you're likely in purgatory and that I need to pray for your soul.

3:02I don't really know how it works when you become disincarnate, but I want you to know that I already know so you don't need to keep insisting. You know, before we even found out that you didn't make it, I knew you were betrayed. I told George that as we prayed in his office, I said, they betrayed him. He replied, we don't know anything yet. And I said no. I do know. Because I did know. Instantly, Charlie, like an old memory had just been triggered. I also know that they're not going to get away with it. They made a mistake. The devil overplayed his hand this time. I have this deep sense that they wanted me to see you die, the manner in which it was broadcast globally, all across social media. Doesn't make any sense. It defied algorithmic norms, Facebook, TikTok, X. Suddenly, all of their preventative measures that are designed to catch and remove violence from their platforms immediately, malfunctioned that day. They wanted everyone to watch you die. For what reason I'm not sure.

4:04I had to come get out to the mountains just to take a breath because I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I had not had a spell of anorexia since my early 20s. But the very first thing I did was I just stopped eating. And I'm not proud of that, but it was the only thing that I felt like I could immediately control. It was for me Wyoming or a sanitarium. I'll never forget the moment and the way that George looked at me across the table as I sat there, moving somewhere between the grief, stages of bargaining and denial. And I was trying to convince him, but mostly I was trying to convince myself that maybe there was a chance that you were alive. I said to him, maybe he's in witness protection. And George looked at me with all of the strength and the paradoxical gentleness that it takes to break reality to someone that you love. And he said, I think he's dead, honey. I think Charlie's dead. I think at that time he knew that it was time for me to get away.

5:08I was then made to suffer through watching so many people in the political sphere act like flesh, flies, and maggots invading your corpse. People who hated you selling t-shirts and mugs in your name. Charlie, you're not going to believe me, but Ben should appear of all people slid into your studio within days, one million dollars in hand. He told the world he was going to pick up your bloody mic. We'll see about that one. On a similar note, I have to tell you that your memorial was really weird. It was like an R&C rally. There was just no personality. There was no heart. There was a bunch of suits that were up there telling us how much you loved politics. It was like no one knew who you were outside of this conservative whizz kid with a vision to build a student organization. And they had Susie Wiles speaking, I mean, does anyone believe that you had a vision for Susie Wiles to speak at your funeral one day?

6:09I've done my best to correct the record. Arena and John Mappin attended that memorial. And Arena felt that there was something off immediately. For one, she told me that she had never seen so many people speaking her native language Russian in Arizona. And I want you to know that when I was drowning, demanding answers to what really happened on September 10th. She and John tossed me a life saver. They were your real friends. And they wrote me the most beautiful open letter in your honor, a letter to the world. And it gave me the strength to fight another day. They wrote in part. Charlie's execution is an assassination with potentially far reaching political consequences for America and the world. What we have seen so far, beggars belief, a crime scene apparently completely destroyed in days and plenty of evidence that simply does not add up. This investigation and the truthful answer as to who was really responsible for deciding that Charlie would be executed in front of the world will affect America's future, its collective soul, and its conscience forever.

7:17The truth when known and we believe that it will be known will have far reaching international consequences. Very idea that someone could be convicted and could receive the death penalty when there remains even the slightest shadow of doubt or shred of uncertainty that they may be guilty of that crime and that Christian souls would tolerate that possibility is a nathema to all teachings of Christ. We are growing rather sick and ashamed of seeing people criticize Candace for doing her level best to get to the bottom of. And to the truth of what happened to Charlie on that day. You don't have to agree with Candace on every subject that she addresses on her shows to acknowledge that much of what she is presenting on the subject of Charlie's death is extremely concerning to America and to the world, completely valid and very relevant to the investigation. She has an army of truth seekers worldwide who are helping her in her search and research. This is truly new and modern and has never happened before. This is not 1963 and boomers should get used to it. No one would question how bright Candace is or that she may indeed be able to help her country get to the truth she is highly motivated to do so.

8:22In our view, the official investigation should be immediately ordered by the appropriate legal authority to proactively share everything they know with Candace and her selected team. That is if truth and real understanding of who decided to assassinate Charlie and why is there sincere objective. That would go some way towards restoring public trust in the system. It is our view that her actions are not just the actions that any real friend would take for their friend. They are the actions of the highest order of patriotism. Candace's actions are service to the whole country and to the world beyond that they are truly providential, divinely inspired and metaphysical. There is a relationship between truth and all living things. There is a relationship between truth and God. I will stop there but there were words for penetrating Charlie and you were sentenced to a public execution. Everybody can see that and I intend to find out why. Until then, I hope you enjoy your homecoming up in heaven.

9:53And it's Charlie Kurt. Hey, what's the one thing that anyone walks in? It's such a big day for the sky. Charlie is going to be in one of the President of the United States and I will be sitting there watching and trying not to cry. Like if the power of black mom unregulated. That's my baby up there. Hey Charlie, sorry that I've not written you in a while. A lot has been happening since Wyoming. I mean, I broke my foot and found out that I'm pregnant again. I'm also a public enemy number one for investigating your wife. I really wanted the world to be wrong about her but they were not. They were right. And then about broke being half to come to terms with it. Because no one knew how badly you wanted love more than I did. We talked about it so much. You had the biggest heart, Charlie. I remember even back when you just had a crush on somebody. How much the idea of aspiring toward love and marriage motivated you in every aspect of your life and career.

10:55I look back on messages and they're just so beautiful like this one. You wrote, she has no freaking clue how paralyzing she is to me and she is the ideal. And then the reality clashes with it and it's a freaking primal motivator unlike anything I've ever experienced. In a funny way, her putting me in this weird cage and box actually is given to TPUSA the most successful few months ever. LOL. And it's all an effort to appease Venus like the Tom Sawyer story. Try to impress the girl across the street. I don't think I really know what Erica is. No, that a wife would not partner with your enemies. I know what she's not. I know about the scheduled will change. I know about the house and the suburbs that you purchased and dreamed about moving into that she came up with a million excuses not to. I know now that her entire life she has been chasing power. And I think that's why she'll never have it. Not the real kind at least.

11:56I don't think she knows what real power even is. Hindsight is 2020 and I can see a lot now much more clearly. The visions that you were having, you know, I'm sorry I didn't believe you when you told me that you were going to die young. Everything that happened in those weeks is unbelievable to reflect on. You know, Catholics, we don't believe in coincidence. Charlie, we believe in Providence. And so April and May of 2018 were providential. So many things were set in motion. You and I were listening to Kanye song, power day in and day out. You start telling me with absolute certainty that you have dreamed your death that you. And you knew that your death would be associated with turning point USA in a wider world awakening. You said that it made you sad knowing that you wouldn't be able to see this thing through. That I would be the one that had to finish this thing and I told you I didn't want to die. And you told me this, you said, don't fear death.

12:56And brace it or else you'll lose your mind. You were sent here to fix things. It won't let it happen. They won't kill you. Instead, they'll make stuff up and that won't work. They will then try to attack family and that won't work either. Weeks later, Kanye tweets, I love the way canisones thinks and it rips a hole in the universe. We fly out to see him in just two weeks after that. You and I are standing in Israel. Your future wife claims that this is the first time she laid eyes on you at an airport. But she chose not to go up to us. During the same time, I get this overwhelming urge that I need to be in the UK. And I tell you for no reason other than a spiritual pull that I know that we need to be in London. That you had to find a reason to get us there. It was a total anomaly that trip. But I know that it saved my life, Charlie, or I would have stayed on your trajectory. Meeting George and unplanned trip saved my life. I've been listening to the song Power Daily since you passed.

13:57In fact, I act texted gay in the immediate days following your assassination. And I just asked him why he wrote the song, a solitary song which spiritually moved me and moved you. And he wrote back, quote, it's a battle cry to be yourself. And yeah, it is actually. I've now come to the realization that you made it to the third verse of that song. Remember we were driving up in Colorado and I took you through the lyrics for the first time that I explained to you the meaning. I told you the first verse is what you think the world is when you're young. It's your early perception for Kanye. It's his younger years in Chicago struggling to make it his perception. People telling you what you can or cannot be according to where you begin your life. He writes screams from the haters, not got a nice ring to it. I guess every superhero needs his theme music and he breaks through. By the second verse he unlocks another level of understanding. He has fame, he has money, but to his surprise, he is still restricted. Now it's him against the media.

14:57His first real cancellation for saying something that was actually true. At the award ceremonies were fake that it's not a meritocracy. Kanye was the first to tell us that Hollywood was fake. And they tried to destroy his career over it. And he found Saturday Night Live mocking him. So we start the verse, FSNL and the whole cast tell them easy says they can kiss my whole ass. He understands that he's going to have to believe in himself even more if he's going to win a war against the media machine. The very same media that can either make or break people. Then comes your favorite part of the song when he says this. I just need a time alone with my own dog. I'm precious in my mind but couldn't open up my own vault. My talent, creativity, and honesty is honestly being crowded by these grown dogs. Reality is catching up with me. Taking my L.A. child, I'm fighting for a cross-steaded. With these responsibilities, they entrusted me as I lay down at my diamond.

15:58Manly cross-steadies, they get no one man to hand all that power. Yeah, he's at war to stay true to himself. The money is tempting. That's why he's looking at his necklace. He's at war to not become a part of the machine. And he wins that verse too. The album that he dropped, despite his first cancellation, Sworge number one, he took home a Grammy for Best Wrap album. For my beautiful dark twisted fantasy. But it's the last verse that's the most important I told you. And it's the easiest one to misunderstand politics. He writes, quote, they say I was the abomination, the abomination of Obama's nation. That's a pretty bad way to start the conversation. Now, the media realizes that Kanye has become too influential. He's stepping on the toes of the more powerful people in the world, the oldest institutions. And guess what, Charlie? Never believed this was since you passed, and I declared war on the liars who lie about everything. They're saying, I'm the abomination of Trump's nation.

17:00Trump actually tweeted out a photo of me sick in a mockup of Time magazine calling me the most vile person of the year. So I officially made it to the third verse of power too. Anyway, what does Kanye do about it? Well, he Kanye's harder. He knows that this is the big one. And he's presenting like he's confident and like he's okay, but he's anything but he says, how's Ye doing? I'm surviving. I was drinking earlier and now I'm driving. We're the bad ladies, huh? We're all hiding. I have the power to make your life so exciting, but it's not what it seems because he's leaning into his ego. And if you listen closely, the word exciting actually turns into suicide. And the echoes that suicide, suicide, because this fight is taking everything out of him, the fight to say true to himself. But he'd rather accept death than become someone that he's not, because that would be a death to a soul. And he knows that if he dies being true to who he is, and it will have been a beautiful death, and that's the best part of the entire song.

18:01Hey, Ye, I'm surviving. I was drinking earlier and now I'm driving. What a bad, huh? We're all hiding. I got the power to make your life so exciting. So exciting. Did you know that mosquitoes have killed almost half of all people who have ever lived? Today, people are fighting back. With support from the Gates Foundation, American scientists and partners around the world have developed a new generation of bed nets that can kill up to 90% of mosquitoes exposed to them, helping cut malaria rates in half. The result? A safer, healthier future for everyone. The Gates Foundation, partners of human potential. Search gatesfoundation.org slash mosquito to learn more.

19:22I remember when we met with the A's team and they told us that the inspiration behind that beautiful death that he's talking about at Portion was actually a scene from the movie 300 when the Spartan climbs over the mountain top and he sees that there are thousands upon thousands of their enemies marching toward them. And there's really no way they can survive. And yet he's smiling like a crazy person because all that matters to him is an honorable ending. Take a look.

20:22I saw those ships meshed on the rocks. How can this be? He saw but a fraction of the monster that is sexy's army. I can be an olfactory here. Why do you smile? Arcauadeon I fought countless times. Yet I've never met an adverser ever before. I've never had twice the perspective of him. But he came up with that! Why do you smile? I fought countless times. Yet I've never met an adversary who could offer me what we spot in this call a beautiful death. I can only hope with all the worlds warrior's gathered against us. There might be one down there who's up to the task. That was the inspiration.

21:24And I just want you to know that I know that you made the third verse in the whole world knows that you were under immense political pressure with Israel and that they had you surrounded and that your life became the Truman Show, but you chose to die with your soul intact. And that's why the last sentence in the song is a question. Do you have the power to let power go? You certainly did, Charlie, and I'm really proud of you for that. I guess it is the biggest thing music. One man should have all that power.

22:26Sometimes taking I just count the hours, stop tripping, I'm tripping off the power. Hey, Charlie, we are now coming up on your one year death anniversary. And I want you to know that I can laugh again, like really laugh. I was in Spain when it happened for the first time. A girlfriend of mine got really excited about something that was ridiculous. It was one of those things that's not worth explaining because you did have to be there. But the relevant point is that I belly laughed. I had tears in my eyes and I was really joyful. Something about Spain was very healing to me in every way imaginable. And I'm finally able to think about you and it doesn't make me angry. And I'm thinking about all the things that I'm going to miss. And you know what I'm going to miss the most? The road trips with you. Singing so many ridiculous songs like this one.

23:33And also this one, which is not in English. And the 50 cent classics. And of course, our favorite thing, the mountainside drives with yay. All right, guys, we're doing another road trip to the mountains. Literally me and Charlie's favorite thing to do. We love driving because we always have to fly. And I'm also going to miss you never letting me drive and mandating when we were allowed to stop for restroom breaks. I would like to report to the Instagram human rights council that Charlie is not letting me stop to go to the bathroom.

24:34And I've been holding my ladder for four hours. She's a dishonest human being. So if you're seeing this, please help. Yeah, I'm still pretty mad at you for being dead. But I know that you were always headed where you were headed, Charlie. And I would have never listened to you either, not in a million years. And I think that's what made us great together. A couple of weeks ago, someone said something that I found to be true. They said, but in the end, you knew that you had accidentally helped create a monster. And you weren't sure if you had the strength to do what needed to be done. And I think about that. I think about those last days, your last days on earth and the pressure that you were under and the final decision that you made. Like you said, Charlie, we are, we're going to fight and we are going to win. And I have to tell you it is at least getting funny now. It's so true with the devil. You can't create because he's always at war. He's at war with creation itself.

25:34You can only steal. He can only lie. He can only trick any hates being mocks, but he deserves to be laughed at. Alize they are telling now. I mean, you have the best sense of humor. So I know that you have to be laughing like I am. I mean, they reimagined your entire life, your friendships, what you believed in. I think you're now friends with Laura Lumer, Charlie, me and you though, no, you just hated me. And you loved Neocons. That might surprise you each and every one of them. Bring on the wars and you didn't much favor Tucker Carlson. So I'm told, Charlie, there is not a piece of you that they did not try to sell. I'm talking personal letters that you wrote, the tent that you died beneath, the microphone that you were holding. And I'm finally at the war at the point where I can just laugh at it all because the Department of War is sending out the real crazies now. I went to Yays concert last week. You're not going to believe it. But after six years, he returned to Chicago and he did it during the week of your anniversary. I have been trying for over a year to get his song Ghost Town for my podcast intro,

26:37best song on the Yay album. And you remember when you flew me out to Wyoming where he recorded that. I arrived at his album release party and I just kept replaying that track for you over and over and over again. Kid Cuddy is featured in the vocals of that. But Yay and Kid Cuddy then had a massive public falling out in 2022. So you have to imagine my shock and surprise when he brought him out on stage to close the show. And they sang that exact song. I honestly could not believe it. It all came together. The Wyoming album, one year on Ghost Town, I was losing my mind because it's been a long year. The lowest lows of my life without a doubt. I was just surviving for a little bit for a long time. But now I'm back. And the whole world knows that you were betrayed. The whole world knows that your assassination was ordered by the most powerful people in the world. But you should also know that your name is trending every day.

27:38And I keep telling everyone that I feel you with me in a positive way now. Like we're reunited on stage again too doing one last tour. You were right, Charlie. Your death came early and you did nothing to stop that. And that took a tremendous amount of bravery. You were right when you wrote that you would have to choose between those you love and your mission. Ghost Town, the song is about a choice too, trying for a long time to make the world love you before you realize that there's no freedom in that. And that the happy ending is in freeing yourself from that pursuit, freeing yourself from trying to police a system that's never going to actually love you back. Shortly after you died, a mutual friend of ours told me, quote, a soul in struggle will eventually free itself. And I think you freed yourself, Charlie. I know that I will see you again. Until then, love Candace. Charlie really was an amazing person.

28:40You know, he was like, we were really close and he was, he was my best friend and my brother. And I will never and see the footage of what I saw. I didn't deserve that ending. You know, he's really young. But I know that we will carry the torch. I will never allow the memory of Charlie to be forgotten. Obviously, because there is no Candace without Charlie. No, we came up in politics together. And so I don't know what else to say guys other than, um, a lot of pain right now. And I love you, Charlie. And so you want to see you. I love you very much. Our haters better have a lot of stamina because we are just getting started. Because if you think you're going to outwork Candace, soons and Charlie Kirk, you're wrong because we're going to win. And they're going to lose. Thank you guys. Thank you guys.

29:44We're still the kids we used to be. Yeah, yeah. I put my hand on a stove to see if I stay blue. And nothing hurts anymore. I feel kind of free. I'm going to go to the next one. Did you know that mosquitoes have killed almost half of all people who have ever lived? Today, people are fighting back with support from the Gates Foundation. American scientists and partners around the world have developed a new generation of bed nets that can kill up to 90% of mosquitoes exposed to them, helping cut malaria rates in half. The result?

30:44A safer, healthier future for everyone. The Gates Foundation, partners of human potential. Search Gatesfoundation.org slash mosquito to learn more.