Raccoon Wars, Lindsay Clancy, NFL Scammers & Past Crimes - Matt McCusker #1149

0:00People of the UK and Ireland, if you've listened to Modern Wisdom for a while but haven't seen me live, it isn't just a podcast on stage where you can finally see my legs. It's a show that I've spent over a year building specifically for a live audience. There are stories I've never told before, ideas I've deliberately saved for the stage, audience confessions and a Q&A where I try to solve your biggest problems. Dublin has already sold out and all of the other cities aren't far behind. So if you want to see me live, head to chryswellnumson.live. That's chryswellnumson.live. I'm in a battle with raccoons at the moment. Where? At my backyard. It's just me versus raccoons at the moment. Are they going to roof? I've got this nice couch thing, like these sit-offs, like comfy, you can lie in it. And they've just wrecked that. Every single night they're coming in and they wrecked that. They decided they were going to tear up one crock. I had like two crocks, like a pair of crocks left outside. I mean, they might have done me a like fashion fucking favour. I always feel bad. I almost fought the urge to wear crocks here today. You're a crock. I'm off-crocks. Anyway, I'm actually at war with these fucking raccoons.

1:05It feels very demoralizing, like losing a war of wits with an animal that survives exclusively on garbage. Yeah. Like, that's what's defeated me. But I haven't been able to get rid of them. So that's it. Yeah, you got to trap them. You trap them. But then what do you do? Get a professional. Get rid of them. Yeah, go send them somewhere. Forever professional can trap them. They'll just release them somewhere else. Right, but okay. Well, they just like drown them, right? You can't. You can't. I kind of love raccoons. But they, I was growing watermelon raccoons. This destroyed my watermelon. When were you growing watermelon? The summer. You came one. I had one big watermelon forming and I came, I woke up one morning and the raccoon had just torn it to shreds. And I was like, that was like my crock. Yeah, except I hadn't had to grow it. I guess. But yeah, oh, fuck. No, I was pissed, but I do kind of love raccoons. I was like, all right, well, yeah. I can't believe that Austin allows you to grow watermelon. I don't know where I thought watermelons grew. But I assumed that the climate had to be way more exotic. No, you grow watermelon. No, you can grow watermelon here. It's like a short season. You got to start early. Otherwise, I get burned out in the sun. Otherwise, the raccoons come and get it.

2:05Yeah, I got to put it behind the fence this time. Yeah, I keep imagining what it would be like to be in a fight with those raccoons. They've got claws. So I'd like a lunatic. I've got one crock on now because the other crock that they've taken away, like a broomstick for self-defense. He's like, be like, be one of those guys in World War One that's got like a bugle into sandwich and like that's what he's sent over the top with. My neighbor used to have raccoons for pets. He had two raccoons in a cage. I remember Erkel cereal. I don't know if you were here when I was... Yeah, it's like family matters. The show Carl Winslow. Remember Erkel, the black nerd? He had his own line of cereal for a while. And my neighbor who lived behind me would feed them Erkel cereal. He had his own cereal and they fed him Erkel cereal for like a while in a cage. It's illegal to keep them as pets, apparently. The American desire to turn anything into a legitimate commercial opportunity. Yeah. Yeah, like you were just... I'm telling you, I've never seen Erkelos. Yeah. Help Erkel find Laura. Like what year was this?

3:07Back in 1991, Steve Erkel got his own cereal. Erkelos was basically strawberry and banana flavored fruit loops. Yeah. I just remember seeing Erkel cereal next to a raccoon cage and being like, damn, my neighbors raccoons eat Erkel cereal. Well, that was pretty... Now it's like a real little boy. I was like, I just stored that fact away in my head and it's... I break it out anytime raccoons come up. They actually love Erkel cereal. Like, go see a raccoon fact. Is Erkel cereal? Yeah, I mean, imagine you're already entrapped. Your life is in a cage. Another next thing that happens is you have to eat Erkel cereal. The rest of it. Banana flavored cereal sounds horrible. Fake banana is awful. It's the worst thing. Fake banana is polarizing. I remember banana runs where I love banana runs. They're the ones you're gonna have with the hard part. We're doing this in America, British. This is gonna be tough. Well, the Rons are just a hard candy that are like, they're shaped like real fruit, but this is a hard candy. So there's one, there's the banana run when I was growing up. Everyone would be like, dude, get there's away from me.

4:08I actually liked the banana run, so I would trade up all the time. This ended up with a ton of banana runs. I have a story for everything. You want to talk about banana flavoring? We can talk about banana flavoring. The idea of you trading up. Nobody wanted them. Because you get them in a variety package. Yeah, yeah, every little fruit comes and I'd ever always banana ones on a grill as well. Hit me. Yeah, hit me up. If I can take the one, I'm gonna take the straw. Unbelievable. Here's a cherry. Yeah, yeah. I wanted, I do want to teach you about some British stuff. Do you know who Francis Bogewa is? Okay, so I got to see the grand tour, which is that thing Jeremy Clarkson did on Amazon. It was about cars and stuff. It was this big car show and then they kind of moved into this other thing on Amazon. He's a new guy that's taken that. He's a train. Got he's a train spotting. Dude, and I kind of, oh, here we go. So just watch this video. Yeah. I'm about to see the largest steam locomotive in the world. I've waited my whole life to see 4014 Big Boy in action.

5:13So today is a very important day. With crowds lining the tracks, and I'll expect it arrival before the main event. That's 21. Oh no, that's a brutal angle. It does it on every video. Here it comes. Oh no. Oh no. It's big phone. That's such an important moment. My phone dies. And I have to reach for Amy Spud, which is fortunate. Leave a camera on your fucking head. Big boy. A dream come true. But 2102 is about to come on. This was in Petzlvenu, wasn't it? I think so, yeah. Dude, so this was really hot that day. A lot of those guys passed out. That were working. A bunch of fat, legularistic guys who went down.

6:15I'm telling that day, my friends were telling me about this. They're a bunch of people who are standing in the field and they passed out while waiting for Big Boy to come. Well, I mean, Francis. You can want them on many. Meanwhile, Francis Bojuan, he managed to. He had to live the dream. I was telling my friend, I was like, if I was there with my kid and they passed out awaiting a train, I would step over him and he'd walk away. I would just step right over him and be like, I'm out of here, man. I'm not doing this. Train spottings are odd, but it's very weird. That particular archetype of person does, there's like a type of white that only exists in America, but there's also a type of white that only exists in England. And that is a category of white that I don't think that you get in America in the same way. We have them, man. We have train spotters. Yeah, I suppose so, but they present in a different way. Oh, yeah, for sure. Our American train spotters are a little probably a little more quiet. Kind of stand there and watch. That guy was pretty talkative. Yeah, I have no fear that Francis Bojuan is going to become a future school shooter.

7:20You said you have no fear? No, I have no fear at all for him. If I was to make him like Frank Buji, which would be the American equivalent, that makes sense. Watch him. Yeah, you want to keep an eye on the internet history for sure. I can't believe that people passed out. Yeah, people passed. It was, when I heard it, I laughed for like 10 straight minutes. That a field full of children just fell out waiting for a train. It was a kid's that they did. Yeah, it was like, yeah, it's just got hot in some of the... Well, I suppose like, not all of them, but enough went down. It was a bit of a problem. Some of them miss big boy. Big boy was coming, they just went down. If your kid passes out, it's kind of easy because you know they're not going to move. So you think, well, they're going to stay there. Yeah. They're just going to stay in that location. For sure. You know, you put a little cool pack on them and then you can go and see big boy and then come back. Yeah, you're there. They were all waiting and they went down and big boy just went, right fine, they came back like, what happened? They just teleported beyond big boy.

8:20Yeah, he had to just be like, yeah, you saw it, man. He was great. You saw it. I promise. I promise you. Like child memory was working. Yeah, there's like, there's two, there's basically two, I think categories of stereotypical British person. One is Francis Bois-Wah and then the other one. I don't know that you've seen British people going, Bosch on the internet. So this is a guy called Big John and he does take away reviews. And this is, oh, right, okay, this is him. This is the guy. Because I have two, one message twice, please. So he's like, kind of a food reviewer. I guess. And he's getting it pies and Matt, don't say that. Don't do that, don't do that. There's two, there's two colors on that plate. He's being asked if he wants eels. That's the food of my people.

9:20There you go. I've got this one, I've got that one. So you think about that? Chewie vinegar. Chewie's in there. All over the place. All over the liquor, all over the mesh. That's your salt. Apparently a dash of salt. Yeah, you ready? Like that's. I love the idea of eating with just a spoon and a fork. The knife is totally irrelevant. It's funny. I have a friend who's an English and he'll send me the pictures of the classic British breakfast and I'm like, ew. What's only like about it? Sausage and tomatoes and beans. It's like bacon, bacon, potatoes, eggs. No beans, no, you don't want tomatoes. And it's not, it's not really appetizing when I see it. I will stand on business with the beans like, hard. I'm sorry. First thing in the morning. Yeah, what a way. You're farting all day. I'd be. That's a power move. True. Remainter of the day is a.

10:22You used to stroing a room at day. Yeah, you've loaded the magazine. True. For the remainder of the day. You're ready all day. True. That's not bad. Then they're out by the time you go to bed. You're not farting and you're, yes, not bad. Correct. I'm more of a. If you invert it. I'm more of a raccoon when it comes to farting. I'm not turning off. You're just all night. All night, dude. I'm farting all night. It's terrible. It's actually kind of, I'm concerned. It's been like, usually you'll get it one day out of the week. I've been on like a four day stretch. I'm like, he's changed something. I need to change something now. Machine like apps for sleep tracking that record when you make noises or move. Fucking love to hear what yours would be. Because yours would be broken by either snoring or rustling or something. Or just straight ripping. Could be. That's pretty crazy. They actually track the noises. Yeah, so when it's silent or ambient noise or whatever and then it just turns on the recorder. It's to work out whether you're snoring or not. Snoring and stuff. Talking in your sleep. I might have to get there. That'll be sick. Then you could make a compilation of all of your favorite thoughts. Ooh. What would you make? Like the nighttime ones would be awesome.

11:25Yeah, you're like, you know what? Missing your own fart while you're asleep is like. It's like being a child that passes out while watching Big Boy. You're like, I missed it. True. This was the entire reason for me eating those beans at night. Yeah, all the waste. And I didn't, I wasn't even there for it. Like my mom got to see it. Or whatever. Like, you know, the wife got to see it. She was a pot of it. Have you ever woken a woman out of sleep because you farted in bed? Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. It's not a good feeling. There's a level of. I've done it. I've done it. There is a level of like shame and pride. It's equal pot shame and pride. Well, it's so funny. But you're also you're like, yeah, that's a horrible way to wake up. There was a polygion. I'm so sorry. Yeah, I've done it. I've done it before. Yeah, the old Fadalam. Yeah, we're not even I'm saying not audio. I'm talking wake by smell. I've woken by smell before and that's when you're like, by smells crazy. Wake by smell is pretty, it's pretty devastating. And she was in such deep sleep. It's just my life. She's in such deep sleep. She forgot.

12:25So I had a good like four days where I was like, oh my god. You didn't even mention that. I got a scut free. I, and then the memory came back. Did you tell me? I brought, eventually I brought it. She was like, holy fuck, I forgot about that. I was like, yeah, my bad. You told her about the Fadalam. It was just like my self-faw. I was like, you have to remember that. I can't believe you don't remember this. And then she was like, I do remember that. That was gross. And I was like, yeah, my bad. Did you admit it to the crime? I had, I had to know. I'm like, how did you just champ that? It was like kind of bothering me. I kind of actually, I wanted my penance. That's what it was. I was like, I can't get away with that. I wanted to atone, but I needed to remember. That's right. It's a combination of like, I want you to recognize just the power. In case in future, I need to like hold it over you. You think, well, I turn myself in. It was like a guy who killed somebody and just can't live with it. I was like, I got away with it. And I was like, I got to go to the authorities. I got to report, I got to turn myself in. What is the wake up of someone who's woken by a smell that's so noxious? It's like, eyes are still closed. It's all the whole thing.

13:25Eyes are still closing up. It's like, it's like groaning into consciousness. And then you go, oh, oh, oh, I think going back under. And I was like, oh, my God, that was the craziest thing. Yeah. It's like coming into hell. You know, then he's go back under. Really upsetting, honestly. I was so that I was like, holy shit. I mean, so much trouble when I wake up and then he got up scud free. And then put yourself through. Two days went by and I was like telling everyone new about it. And finally, I was like, I got to tell her. I can't, I can't. I have to like, let her know that that happened. The idea of like telling it in pride behind the scenes. Yeah, as well. Like to get to what I mentioned with people, that's not fucking sick. Yeah, it was hopefully one of one. That was the only time. No, I thought you meant by sound. Because you can rip a rip on the slide. Yeah. Enough with that. Yeah, you can get that. But it's the slow. I wonder how many breaths it takes.

14:25It's going to take like the first one's going to hit. And but you're going to hope that the body's going to hope that when it gets exhaled, it's not going to get hit again. And then the crescendo, I think it's probably a two breath, a two breath phoidal arm. Yeah, there's one that's kind of like, but apparently I think I can be wrong, but I think your amygdala is like really close to where smells come. So they're linked. So she like, that was a threat. Immediately, that's like really linked with threat. I think smells. Sort of got. Like the way by far. She was, she was terrified. Fuck me. That is true. That is very true. I went to, I went to the PBR, a social unit, the bold writing thing, which is weird because again, talking about very British things and also very American things. It's like close to about as American as you can get. But it is a rena of people hoping that somebody gets injured by an animal that weighs like a few thousand pounds. It's a very strange sport to watch.

15:27And not a massive amount of racial diversity in the audience. And then Nelly played. Yeah. So he kind of offset it toward the end. But yeah, PBR was crazy. That was like, that was a very interesting experience. Yeah. Yeah, that, I only ever watched it on TV, but bullwriting, I like bullwriting compared to bull fighting. Bull fighting seems like one of the minutes is so mean. Yeah. I just learned they pre-stab them. The bulls are pre-stab before they even, you fight the bull. Like that scene in Gladiator. Yeah. Like, shipping before he goes out. That's all of the bulls. Exactly like they just poke them up a couple of times. They're going to get out of them. So then weaker. Yeah. I found out that the reason that the capes, what's that called? Oh, I don't know. The red rag to a whole thing. The reason that it's red isn't because bulls see red and get angry. It's to hide the blood as the bulls run past. Because otherwise, if you had a white sheet or something. It would look horrible. Yeah, it would just be marked with the loads of old blood.

16:31Yeah, that's, I didn't even know that. That's why. That's why it's to hide the blood. Dude, I still thought that. It's not because they've been pre-stabbed. Yeah. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. I thought my whole life, I thought, like, if I was wearing, I would like, been around bulls go a couple times. And I'd always scan, like, bro, I hope I'm not wearing any red. They're in a fucking charge here. I had a bull actually. That also looked behind me. We had a bull that just was in... Why the fuck did you live? I lived on it. So my dad and his brother bought a piece of property out in like, the suburbs of Philadelphia. But it was like, when we moved out there, it was like really rural. Like, there was nobody out there. There's no sidewalks. But they bought this like plot of land. And so they each had a house and they, you know, they had like a spread. We were right, I was right next to one of my cousins. And then behind us was this like, other house up there. So they just rented it out to this guy. And he had like, that was a guy who had the raccoons in the cages. So he had like animals. He had like a weird kind of, he had like a barn. There's horses, you know. Great to see a real collection. Yeah, great to see you. He had a bull for a while. And we had, it was a old apple orchard.

17:32But the apples trees like dried up. So they don't only make crab apples. So me and my cousins would sit up in the trees and just shoot this bull with a, with a, you know, a little slingshot with crab apples all the time. And it got so aggressive and like so nuts. So we had to get, they had to get rid of it. We were just head up there and torment it all. I was like, nine years old. We just said they're going, boom, and hit it with like it. And it would just shake. And they'd be, they're like, we got to get rid of that thing. You know, PTSD from being hit by these little crab apples. All day long. You do you imagine if you were a ball and you didn't understand how physics and gravity works and you're like, that tree is throwing apples at me. Like that tree is my mortal enemy. It keeps on pinging me with crab apples all day. And there were those, like, I don't know if you had those like real nice slingshots. They were like, they were like, you'd pull them back but they had like almost a wrist brace. So you could really rip those things back. You were hitting it with high velocity crab apples. Yeah, very hard explosion on, upon impacts. And then bulls got, you know, when you shoot someone in paintballer and it's just got loads of marks all over its back. Yeah, we were, and again, it's like that. I think started getting nasty. Like really a rid of it got to cantankers.

18:34So now I'm like, maybe they just got rid of it but I'm pretty sure we fired that thing up because it was, we were just like taunting it and fuck with it all. It was really nice natured until maybe that would be a good, because the owner of CEO guy of the PBR was in the area that we were. And obviously I have no idea what's going on. I don't know how the scoring system works. I don't know anything. And he loves bull riding. Absolutely loves bull riding. And he wrote the rules. So I'm like just harassing him autistically about any, like how does this happen? And how do they train the bulls and stuff like that? But I didn't realize that the people that own the bulls, they have so much pride in like no one's ever ridden. Like this element have got a bull and it's called ride in salty because you can just name it whatever you want. Yeah, it's awesome. Ride in salty. And no one's ever ridden it. Some shit like that is like, oh, this is, it's the best rider in the world versus the hardest bull in the world. And there's kind of these match-offs. They pair them up and then coaches on the teams of the riders who know what way the bull turns.

19:34And they put a guy that's like really good in the clockwise position or whatever. It's like matching fighters up against other fighters. I like, I don't know, a sport where you go, well, the guy that's on the left wing, he's a little bit slow when he cuts in. So if you put a guy that's right-footed on that and there's its squads and there's training and they've got tactics. And I was like, I just said, guy holding onto a bull. That's what I thought. I didn't know they have teams too. They have a bunch of teams. Like each city's got a different team. And then the city that you're in gets to be the final one. And there's workout music. And that each guy comes out to different workout music and stuff. Yeah, it was sick. Yeah, it sounds awesome. It was really good. A quick aside, you probably heard me talk about element before. And that's because I've started every single morning the same way for the last five years now, which is a cold glass of water with elements in it. Element is an electrolyte drink makes with everything that you need and nothing that you don't. It's a science-packed electrolyte ratio of sodium, potassium, and magnesium. No sugar, no coloring, no artificial ingredients. It reduces muscle cramps and fatigue, supports brain function, and helps to regulate your appetite throughout the day. I genuinely notice the difference when I take it versus when I don't,

20:35which is why I don't shut up about it. And also why it's used by everyone. From Dr. Andrew Huberman to Olympic athletes and FBI sniper teams. The good sniper teams, not the bad ones. Also, there have been no questions ask for refund policy. So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll just give you your money back. Plus, they offer free shipping in the US. Right now, you can get a free sample pack, the element's most popular flavors with your first purchase, by going to the link in the description below, heading to drinklmnt.com slash modern wisdom. That's drinklmnt.com slash modern wisdom. Yeah, I didn't I haven't done much super like, um, Texas stuff. I did the two step dance lessons. Did you have you seen that before? I've seen it. The broken wheel. What's that? You can do you can go in there and take lessons for two step, and it's this old lady runs it. And I honestly was like, it takes a lot to kind of astonish me when people are like doing certain things. Dude, she apparently can just grab ladies asses and like, so she was give, I shouldn't say this, but we were in there and she would, she'd be like, come out here and dance with me,

21:35young lady and she'd be like, God, your ass is flatter than cardboard. Just smack like it was insane. She was just grabbing and smacking ladies asses and just, I mean, you know, any kind of racial thing she would throw that in there too, just still like flavor it up. Dude, there is she was, I was sitting there like, bro, this is insane. And she never was like, yeah, this is cute. I get that. I've been transported back to the 1950s. There's a level of bigotry that you just, like when people get beyond a certain age, they just get a pass for it all. Yeah, you have to let this lady cook. It was really good. Because it was a lot of, it was a good amount of like, Asian tourists came and she was having a field day with her. It was wild. There's nothing there for me to grab. Yeah, no ass on. Look at where you from. Vietnam, get out of the way. She thinks the war's still going. But it was fun to see. It also was nice. It brings everyone down. It's like, yeah, let her do her thing. It brings everyone down to like a, you know, how it might run. That's what being British is like, actually. That level of insulting everyone.

22:37Were you any good? Is it hard? I've never tried. Wow, I wasn't very, I was alright. It's pretty easy, honestly. Right. But it's all about, you have to kind of like, it's like easy to do. Once you have like 30 people on the dance floor, everyone, you don't know which way anyone's going. So it's another people who are like, actually really, really good at it. And you're like, I'm in the way now. Do you know what? You're in the way. Yeah, you're just in the way. They're like whipping people around and throwing them. And it's also very important that you have to lead your partner. And it's like, I am horrible at dancing. So I'm kind of like trying to, I'm stepping on her feet the whole time. And I'm like, actually, I'm in charge. Be quiet. Don't move. And it's like, she set up. The ladies grabbing ass is set on my charge. And it was, yeah, I did. You don't be over that with the Asians. I'm not going to make a sit down on the fucking substitute bench. Yeah. So it was fun. I would definitely go back. It's deaf. It's a, it's a fun night. You go there, especially if you roll their stag. I mean, dude, ratios in your favor. It's mostly how many people are going on their own. I was there was a couple. There's a lot of women actually go, but they're going as girly group thing.

23:38But you need a male partner. Hard to peel off a chick from a group of chicks, though. But in the in a dance and a formalized dance setting, easy as pot. It's like as easy as it gets. Of course, because they've got legitimacy to leave the friends at least for a bit. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But you go that there's that like inner feminine kind of rivalry where it's like, now whoever you ask to dance is like, oh, because of them. Not them, yes. Because of the ratio. Yeah. Because of the ratio. Yeah, puts them, it really throws them into like an upside-down world. Reute now. You're the commodity. You get to be like, the lady. I was peeping all this with my wife. I was like, this is great. Yeah, watch in the, watch in the dynamic. Go on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You step in on a feed. It is going to be hard though. If you're not going to dancing, and you're like, okay, I need to do this thing. I need to lead them. You said you need to navigate the traffic of the rest of the room as well. Yeah. And you're trying to lay down some game at the same time. Plus get the phone out. You're like, can you do the thing? Do the nudgy thing, like taking number before I'm going. Yeah. Spinning around and stuff. Yeah. I mean, you have to go a couple times. There's a lot of old men that go there and they just like, they're like experts at it and they just kind of torul young chicks around

24:40for like two hours at a time. And then also the instructor kind of feeds them like, no, if you see Dale, he'll spin you around or you dizzy. Go on, don't be shy. And she kind of like feeds him over. It's pretty wild. Yeah. This does begin, like sounds like it's going to be a Netflix documentary. Yes. It's like one of those atrams. Well, like some yogi that developed a new type of yoga. Yeah. But all of these disciples were the ones that were feeding in the new followers. Yeah. Yeah. They thought, yeah, like the next game called. Yeah. That's what's that one? What's that? That was the God, who's that guy? He was like branding chicks. He was getting chicks. Yeah. He was just, yeah. Keith Van der Rie, he had the next game called here in America, where I don't even know what he did really. He just said this call. And then the thing he did that was genius. Obviously, he's a cold leader. He's having sex with all the women in the cold. There's married couples. So he instituted a rule where everybody has to kiss on the lips when they greet each other. So that way, he could just kiss every girl on the lips and they wouldn't know that he was fucking all of them. It was pretty kind of an ingenious move.

25:40Yeah. Well, I mean, what's interesting is that he decided to brand the women in the cold as opposed to just using crab apples in a slingshot. He could have just got them from way further away. I sure could have been like, I could have came from anywhere. If he got really good, he could have written something on the side of it. It's real. No, no, no, no, no. No, he was brand-apparently at all. You get in trouble. He got in trouble for sex trafficking. So whenever you move a lady across state lines to have sex with her, that's when it's like, isn't that crazy? Yes, that was the thing. Who was it that under false pretenses? That's a key term. Who was it that got fully dittled for that across state lines, trafficking women across state lines thing recently? There was some big case and that was the main, like tons and tons and tons and tons. No, I was, I was seeing. Absent are ditty. It was ditty. Ditty. Correct. You said dittled too, was it on the toes? Dittled it. It was, it was ditty. That day, I don't know if he actually got charged for sex trafficking, but that was the one they were trying to know. Across state lines. Yeah, but under false pretenses.

26:41But what's the issue with the state lines thing? Why is that? Under false pretenses within the state is fine. I think so. So I get into a motel that's just a crumple. Yeah, yeah. If you can trick a woman, if you're in Texas, you can trick Texas women. If you trick a woman in Oklahoma, fuck you're going to jail. And it's, it's all false. It's a very vague thing. That's, yeah, it's what we were getting trouble for. Because it's like, if you lure someone here saying, hey, I have a job for you and they travel. And then I don't know what you brand them and keep them like you're slave in the base. Then you get in super big trouble. Double, double, double, double trouble. Yeah, yeah. And worst of all, he made them go to Oklahoma. Yeah. And then it's like, oh my god. I don't know. We must take him to jail the guys of monster. Yeah, it's a very weird rule. I've always thought about it. It's a, it's a, it's one of those things that it's like, it's really weird. Can you, can you chat, GPT? Why, why is it, why is it cross state lines for what is it? Sex trafficking. Sex, what? It's like trying to work out why sex trafficking is so bad. Dot, dot, dot, across state lines.

27:42Yeah. Just seems like, well, it's, you know, within state lines, it's not great. Yeah, it's just one of those extra charts. Like an enhancement they toss on you. It's like an upgrade. Yeah. So you want to go with super large on the, on the happy mail. Super size. Yeah, I don't, I don't know. It's, it's a, but it's one of those things. I think that's very important in these cases where they, if they can get you on that, that's how they kind of get you in the middle of you. If you, if you, oh, you go crossing state lines isn't inherently considered more evil. I think I'm maybe state sex trafficking within one state. The reason it's treated more seriously in US law is largely about jurisdiction and federal authority. Not great, a moral blame. Oh, because it's like, when you get higher penalties, that's what they're saying. Someone can be prosecuted, prosecuted for sex trafficking, even if every act occurred within a single state, as long as the conductors, the required connection to interstate commerce. Uh, oh, hang in a second. So that brings the FBI in. But so sex trafficking under current federal law, someone can be prosecuted for sex trafficking, even if every act occurred in a single state, as long as the conduct has the required connection to interstate commerce.

28:46So if it doesn't, if you manage to find a locally owned motel, and you don't use a payment processor that, like, roots it through fucking Delaware or something, you pay in cash, like sex trafficking is just free. That seems like a loophole that needs to be closed. Yeah, they get you for tax evasion there. Oh, yeah, yeah. Why did that cash drive from? Have you seen this day John Love thing, this case, that's everywhere? Who's, was that the guy? Who's that fake football player from the 40 years? Yes, yeah, yeah. He's been going around saying, I, I caught that. I was like, it was actually doing a podcast. I went to the bathroom and I was like, check on my phone. I saw someone I know is like, one of the influencers I follow is just kind of like, oh, man, I almost thank God I didn't pay this guy. And I didn't even know he was in a player. I'm like, damn, I was the ass like I have a 200,000 bucks. And I came back and was like, yeah, that was a dude. Yeah, that said this. Oh, yeah, he was trying to dental men and women, especially women. Yeah, I think he was really going for the women's money. But yeah, there was a guy influenced right now who was like a health guy. And he got like, they try to go for him. Yeah, so he was, he was for 200,000.

29:49He's like, give me 200k and I'll like promote your, you know, electrolytes or whatever. I think he didn't have that many followers on, it wasn't a huge. So yeah, for the people that don't know this guy, pretended to be a 49ers player. Yeah, yeah. And he was starting to receive a 35 year old. Yeah, 35 year old, Dage on Love, who federal authorities say, faked an entire NFL career as a 49ers wide receiver to scam others. There's been arrested and charged with defrauding over 26 women out of more than $1.3 million. Love allegedly met women through dating apps, convinced many. They were in a legitimate romantic relationship with him, betrayed himself as either a wealthy NFL player or a successful real estate investor. Fake 49ers, fake Instagram theme presence, fake banks and investors. I think he had like an 18 year old that he would put on FaceTime and was like, oh, this is my investment advisor. And it's just like one of his friends. It was 18 years old. And yeah, he won, one woman lost around 87,000 and helped him get a McLaren to qualify for the McLaren.

30:49He made her a fake pay stub saying she earned about 50k a month. Another woman gave him seven grand for an apartment he never got for her. Another gave him around 30 grand for a Mercedes. After a while, you just think like these people kind of deserve it. Yeah, the romance scams are really, really messed up. Also, him working out on the beaches hilarious, just a football helmet on the beaches. That's one that I'd even catch. I hold on a second. I haven't heard you don't see me. Yeah. And I remember my big time, Brady. Yeah. Still swim shorts. Yeah, it's like a regular football bag. It's a memory. It's a memory, it's a memory, it's a memory, a helmet. Yeah. The junior beat. It's not one of them. I swear he's got his helmet like in the car at some point. Have a look on here. Keep going. Is that one hilarious? Go back. It's him like, explain that area. That's what he's got. You got to go to have the helmet. I'm just popping the helmet in the passenger seat. Yeah. Is it not in your bag?

31:49Which is. It's very funny. Yeah. I don't know. This uh, you know what this is? This is a karma from the bad men of the world for the Lindsey Clancy case. This is the, them trying to come back around. This is like some dude, yeah, like comically going like, there's something that women are getting complain about. At the moment, I'm going to, I'll leave in the stakes and I'll give us something that men can be complaining about. Just so I'm sure Clancy is the lady who everyone's trying to like get her out of jail right now. Yeah. Protester's dude. Bro, it's a mistrial. That's a rough look. It's a, it is a mistrial. It's a mistrial. One guy, one supposedly allegedly. One male juror held out for six days. It was 11, one. And the one juror was like, no, no, no murder. Not doing it. Mistrial. So just, she's like free at the moment. What? Or is she on bail? Was she on bail? Well, she, how can you work out if she's got bail or not?

32:50But mistrial. So they've got to do, they've got to run it back. To it again. They've got this whole thing has got to happen again. At least again, or maybe go up to some bigger court. Well, dude, it's, I was actually reading about this last night. I didn't realize first of all, it happened like three years ago, three or four years ago. The husband's already, he's remarried. But the weird thing is, it's been three years, it's quite a long time. Yeah. It's not a long time to get over something traumatic. But for everyone that I didn't, I'd never had a Lindsay Clancy's name until three weeks ago. Yeah. And for him, this is not part of, I think about where you were three years ago, three and a half years ago. You're like, that was quite a long time ago. It was a while, but it's like, yeah. But I think he's just like, I could be wrong. I think he's like, works in an office. Does it go off the shop? Yeah, does that look like an office shop? That would be insane. I had a psychiatrist earlier on this week, and he worked in the ward where she was discharged from. He knows the doctors that prescribed her all of the medications, the people that looked after her cat, everything. There's a little bit, I think, especially a lot of guys, sort of defaulted to, she killed her kids.

33:52Right. And then there was a little bit of me, as he was an hour of him, just explaining the deep neuroscience of what happened with the pharmacology and what happens with the psychosis and how all encompassing and totally compelling it is and basically your agency is taken away from you. To use the example of talking about farting and shedding, you use the example of, you know when you go to the bathroom, and you take a dump and you're like, one, huh, one wipe wasn't enough. I need to go again. And you don't even think about it, you just do it. So that's kind of what psychosis is like. You don't even think about it. You kind of just get compelled. So he's an hour of him explaining it to me. And as he was doing it, there was a little bit of me that was thinking, this is, I thought I had my position. And now you have decided to like just pull the pin on this grenade. And now I'm all conflicted again. And now I'm with everyone else. I don't know how do we deal with this as a society. It's like, yeah, it is, it sucks. It's like the whole situation sucks. The poor, I like really felt bad for the dad.

34:53I was reading about him last night. Like, damn, this guy's just actually just started his life over. I'm like, that sounds sad. And then you have the lady who was like, yeah, she, you know, strangled her children to death. And you know, maybe she was in psychosis. The thing too is like, if she had been a methodic and got high on meth and then killed her kids, ever in big enough, throw the book at her. Since I guess she's trying to get, you know, help or whatever, it's slightly different. My only problem is when like, is you get, you have people now who, even like neuroscience types, who are like free wills and illusions, we don't have free will. It's just all, it's all expression of genetics. And it's like, okay, well, if that's the case, and somebody does this, if they're just essentially like a lump of meat, just why not just discard of them? You know what I mean? Because if we have, there's no free will, and people are just gonna do this kind of thing, which I don't think is her case really, because it was like the medication in psychosis, but I don't think, I think you got it. You gotta park, I think you just gotta park those people forever. It's like, look, they don't fare the sucks. That thing is, she is gonna be parked forever. Is she gonna be parked with culpability?

35:54Are she gonna be parked with, I can't, an excuse or a reason, right? It's like, she's gonna be, well, if she gets to psychosis, I think she's mandatory, like psychiatric asylum for a, like a per year at a time with her case to be reviewed every year. So there's a world, and she gets all, yeah, I think she'll only be held for a year. I could be wrong, but I think she'll only be held for a year. Before she gets reviewed. It gets reassessed, and they could keep her forever. They could reassess her every year. She could get out. So it's one of those things where it's like, even if it's pure psychosis, if someone can fall into that level of psychosis, and obviously it's on record, it's like, yo, you kinda gotta be. She's a distinctive looking lady as well. It's gonna be very hard to come out, even in five years' time and not be, well, she's paralyzed, still, right? That as well. Yeah. But all of that together. I think the saddest thing that's, it's like not neat to satisfy her. It is really fucking sad. But it's as close to a sad as it gets. Doesn't, I mean, dead kids, suicide attempt, paralysis,

36:56like postpartum depression, public scrutiny, loads of women wearing pink. It's OJ Simpson for white women. That's what it is. Yeah. That's exactly what it is. Yeah. It's also again, it's one of those things where it's like, I'd love to ask the protesting ladies, like, where do you wanna see happen in this? Do you wanna have her to live with you? Like, what are we talking about? What are we, are you gonna take care of this lady? You know, she's like, the state failed her, put her in the hands of state mental care. It's like, maybe not if the state failed so badly, because that's where she's going back to. You gotta park her, you gotta give her the bane treatment, dude, it's like sad. Bottom of a well. Yeah, you gotta, you gotta just, chain, yeah, or yeah. Bulk her up, feed her pizza for the fucking luck. It's good for you. It's so fucked up. I did the same thing, I heard about that. I'm like, fuck that lady, dude. And then you read about it, you're like, God, it's so fucking sad. But it's also like, she's a sick ticket, dude. It's like, once you strangle your children in the basement, it's like, all bets are off in my book.

37:57It's like, it's just, it's sad. It's fucked up. There's complexity to it, but it's like. You know what else is interesting? I think you look at the gender split of support for and against. Almost exclusively women who are in support, but not necessarily only men that are against, because mothers kind of get split into two groups. Because some of the mothers, especially the ones that have been through post-partum, go, wow, that was fucking rough. That was really hard. And maybe, I think Dr. K gave me the stats, he says, about three in 10,000 get post-partum psychosis. And all of the psychosis sufferers, five percent get homicidal ideation thought. So it's like a chunk of a chunk of a chunk of a chunk. But because there's 60,000 births a day in the US, the law of large numbers means there's like one person, every one lady every day, who's maybe gonna have this homicidal thoughts with the psychosis and all the rest of this stuff. He's like, you know, explaining it to me and going through all of this.

38:58But what that means is there's some women who will see the beauty and the delicate nature of their children and just get the total tiger mum, mother bear. Like, I can't believe that this would happen aggression. And then there's another group of ladies who are gonna think I was close to feeling down and bad and though I wasn't myself. So even that is kind of split into two different groups. It is stuff like this. I mean, do you ever think when situations like this occur Netflix, all of the executives must just be going like, yes. Fucking come on. Here's six more hours of content. Exactly. This is season two. Netflix just renewed season two of a documentary that haven't finished filming. Well, they must have done. Cause they're gonna run the trial. They'll have, yeah. They'll rip it. They're thinking to themselves, they're like, well, there's episode five. Yeah. And then fuck, they're doing it again. Okay, we finish it in five episodes. We'll run it back for season two. This is like making a murderer. Yeah. They're like, hey, keep the case going. Come on.

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41:01Dude, yeah, it's fucked up, man. But it's really what I think though is that like, I would say especially women are not supposed to be by themselves after they have babies. Like that's a thing that like, that's how people live now. It's not what you're supposed to do. Like they really should be, like as soon as you have a kid, you should be with other mom ladies and other ladies and just like, you should have a lot of people around you at all times. I think it's a relatively pretty new thing of like just have a kid and sit in a fucking house for a year by yourself. As a lady, I think especially it's like really fucked up. I asked literally an expert who wrote a book called Dad Brain. So there's a membrane which you lose about 3% of your gray matter. It's like executive function. You forget where the keys are. But what is interesting is you actually become better at knowing about stuff to do with the kid. You're just really bad at knowing about some other stuff. You can managing your calendar or doing finances or whatever. And dads have kind of the same sort of thing I was talking to her. She thinks the same thing. She thinks that it's almost exclusively mediated by is their support.

42:03Do you feel like you're well contained and held by the local community? There used to be this time Louise Perry told me about this. There was this time called Laying In. You ever heard of this? So Laying In was a month long period in the middle ages where a woman had just given birth. All that she did was lie in the living room or whatever. And everybody had to do stuff for her. Like, you nice to her. Like bring her food, help her go to the bathroom, help her get washed. Like, what do you want? You need a shoulder rub? Like, well, like after the day. It's just everybody was kind of probably an infuriating amount of attention. Like actually if you were a bit of an introvert, like, okay, this has been nice, but I would like you to leave. And that was it. And now you think no mandatory maternity leave and people are back in the fucking solo cubicle office within like, we still haven't even physically recovered. Oh yeah. Haven't, haven't physically recovered. And now you're at work going like, I make, you know, I have to make more than basically daycare basically.

43:05If I don't make as much as daycare, then I'm at home. If I do, if I do, it's you versus daycare. And if you don't run fast enough, you like, it's kicked off the back of it. Dude, it's, yeah, it's brutal. And especially when you have a kid, that first like two weeks or so, everyone's like, hey, everyone's stopping by. And then it's just like, that's over. And it's just you, you know, if you're, you're just sitting there, you're nursing it all the time, that's like constantly releasing hormones when they're feeding from you, that you don't produce enough milk. It's, it's kind of a nightmare dude. It really is, should be revisited as to like, how people go about doing that kind of stuff, because it's not, it's not good at all. I think we got the 90 day maternity leave from a, there was just like a therapist back, I think it was an English guy who was just like, Winnicot, he was just like, you know, you gotta give these, you gotta give these people like, at least a couple months. Yeah, he just determined, he was like, 90 days is the bare minimum. You can't think of him. Nine months mandatory. Is it really? Yeah, I don't think we do that here. I think we got like, I think people can turn and burn. Yeah. Yeah, they've gotta get you back into the meat ground and do the same emails that need sending. Come on. It's nine, you said it's nine months. Nine months. You can pick when as well.

44:05So if you want to do from a month before and then have eight months after, my business partner's wife was like, like trying to take it up to the fucking limit. Like absolutely, like she went to a Spice Girls concert the day she was due and then went the day after. Like we gave birth the day after and they were like, look, if we give birth while Jerry Halleywell's on stage doing like, what I want, what I really, really want, it's fine. That's fine. That's kind of a cool story, but they had floor tickets. It's how Spice Girls are made. They had floor tickets. That's insane, dude. Floor tickets in the middle of a stadium for Spice Girls as a concert was seated, right? But like, bro, that's big. Crazy. Like on a Swiss ball this morning, Spice Girls tonight. Just imagine, like I was at the Spice Girls concert and then like some ladies water broke next to me. And it was fucking wild. Yeah, it does. It definitely, when you're like with a woman who goes to the whole process of like being pregnant

45:07and giving birth, it really does flip a switch in your head where you're like, wow, you guys can do cool stuff. Not in a bad way. I know that sounds passionate. But I got, I got all that. I just like, you just got in the way in my thought. It really, I should say that's a horrible way to put it. But it really does give you a deeper appreciation where you're kind of like, damn, that's, because they fucking champ. Childbirth is terrifying. And you watch them go through it and you're like, where the fuck was this fucking stoicism? I'm like, I'm a resist shit. I've known you for three years. Like, I've seen belly aches take you out. Now you're just literally like, if I pass out, grab me. I'm like, okay. I'm like, what the fuck? Like battle vest. It's like jokka willing. You're white spotty. She comes in and camo fatigues with a fucking rifle. It's like kind of, it's like terrifying. You see it? It's unbelievable. But yeah, that is a thing that kind of completes the whole picture. We were like, okay. All right. This is now I can see the full kind of spectrum here. The lady Navy Navy seal transition is crazy.

46:10I wonder what changed, what changed with you? How did you change? Well, when having kids are saying, yeah. Well, the main one is kind of funny. The main one is like kind of painfully obvious. It's like you don't realize, and not even like in a bad way. I don't know if it's like in a silly bad way, because I think everyone does this. Just how self-absorbed, how all of your thoughts are just like bong, bong, bong, bong. All day long. And it's like natural. It's very natural. Then you have like a kid and you're like, it literally just plants almost like another self in your brain that you're always thinking about. This person, you're still thinking about yourself. And then like it's very weird how that works. Because it is, as you notice, like, you know, like, all right, it's time I'm gonna do this. And you're like, you have to do something with a kid. And you're like, all right, I'll get to that later. Then you start being like, I'll never get to that other thing. It's just not happening. Like I'll never gonna do it. And you kind of go through this weird kind of like inner transformation over time, where you're like, just letting certain things die off. But it's nice, because you know, you feel good to like.

47:10Like no one really enjoys an insane level of selfishness. I think too much attention on you. So I saw this tweet the other week that said something like, you're not autistic. You're just spending too much time in the house on your own. And it's making you weird. And yeah. Household don't think you should, like, I don't think your brain's designed to think about yourself for more than like 30 something years. I had a kid when I was like in my 30s. And I remember being like, I've played all the hits of like, why don't I do this? And I'm like, I remember thinking like, just getting kind of fucking old. I'm like circling all these tracks. And you have a kid, I got a thing. God, I can just think about you now. Yeah. Yeah. So there was a friend told me about a mentor of his that had explained that exact thing. And he said, one day, you just get sick of yourself. Yeah. One day, you just get sick of yourself. And you go, okay, they said the thing. And Jimmy Carter talks about saying it's having a child is, it's a surgical procedure

48:10where your own heart now lives outside of your own body. Yeah. Like you just, okay, now this is the thing that's the most important. But yeah, I mean, I definitely believe a lot of the malaise and like business pursuits and like weird habits and like obsessions that guys have are just surrogate families. They haven't got around to yet. You think so much of this would be fixed if you just had a yeah, had a baby that you were looking after because it would clean out all the barnacles off the bottom of the ship. Or maybe it would just completely top it your life because you can't afford it. I don't know. But also, there is something where it's like, like I've tried a lot of stuff. For right of kids, I'd be like, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that. And you do things, you're like, I guess it's kind of cool. When you have a kid, it's like it clicks and I have very obvious set grooving your brain. You're like, yes, this makes sense why I'm doing this now. I was like, I would do things. I'm like, why am I even doing this? And you're just like, okay, this all makes sense. Yeah, it's like a baked in kind of purpose. And it's funny too, because when you examine it from like advantages

49:12and all this stuff, it's like just more so disadvantages. Like I get hit in the nuts constantly, I get woken up really. Dude, kids just hit you in the nuts. Right? Well, they're like, they'll let go to like hit you. They're just not high to it. They're just not high. And they'll jump on your nuts. They just, they're just like, oh, they don't have any concept of like nuts. So they just jump, they just jump. Like I'm about to land on my dad boom, right on the nuts. Punch you right on the nuts. You're getting your nuts, or she's getting obliterated. Never endingly. You're waking up all the time. You never get sleep. Every day, you're like, I'm making meals, doing stuff. And it's like, it's just, you're happy to do it. It's weird. It's like a very, I don't know. It's like a very fun, you think about like the deals laid out. Like, all right, what am I getting out of this? And it's like, you'll get repaid with like, like last night, I was about to go to bed. And I did, I sold, we have like an inflatable alien thing in our house. They won from like Chuckie Cheese. And they addressed it up in a Princess Peach dress. So I'm going, I look up the steps. It's just an alien in a Princess Peach dress. And you just laugh for like five minutes. Like fuck the fuck. And it's like, that's you get like a little reward

50:13so I'm just like complete nonsense. Just random shit. Well, I wonder if you could market. This is my showing how much I've spent time in America that if you're on a TV show, you can commercialize yourself into a serial that given that dad's getting into the nuts a lot. Maybe you could make a special cup that's designed just for dads. That wouldn't be bad. The dad cup. Yeah, wouldn't be bad. I've been wearing it for a couple, actually, not a bad idea. Even if it wasn't full, sports cups can be a little rigid, but even just a little bit of pad. It needs dampening a bit. Yeah, just a little bit of, because you get, it's, you react in the moment as if some just random guy came up and punched you in the dick. You're like, oh, what the fuck? And they're like, you're like, oh, sorry guys, I'm fine. You're like instantly like, we're about to fight. And you have to be like, ah, sorry guys, I'm fine. It just really hurts me when you do that. You've got to try and explain. Does it hurt? Child language. Yeah. It doesn't hurt now. Like, no, it's going to hurt. Hold on. Just like, you need 10 seconds. Yeah, here it comes. But yeah. But it really does though. It helps me for me. It really put into perspective like, okay,

51:15I love my kids a lot. That other human beings, somebody's kid, I should try to be as nice as I can to them. If I, if I can help it. Cause it needs somebody's kid in the past as well. Well, now you have like, you have, I don't know what you would call it, but it's like, now you have something people can be like, I hate, I'm like, whatever, I don't give a fuck. Someone's like, I hate your kids. I'm like, fuck you, dude. So you're like, I can't be, cause if someone were that mean to my children, it's more so like, doing to others as to yourself. But like your kids are like 10 times, you know? That goes back to your thing about what age do we say, okay, this person's culpable. Like this is, this is your, you're responsible for it. Yeah. Sam Harris says this great thought experiment. You know, Uday Hussein, Saddam Hussein's son. Okay. Have you ever read about what he did? No, he's a bad guy. He makes his, he actually makes his father look like a lovely man. Like a very, very nice man. He's like mini Cooper. Crazy how ruthless he was. He would like turn up at weddings, kill everybody,

52:18accept a husband, then assault the wife in front of the husband, then kill the husband, then kill the wife. Jesus. Just cause he could. Like it was why I once had a guy on the podcast who had to look after him as he flew to Vegas and like get him cocaine and all of this stuff and he was just going around Vegas trying to be this warlord from the Middle East. But anyway, Sam Harris has this example. It's kind of like maybe one of the most evil guys that's ever lived. Yeah. And you say, at what point does Uday Hussein become culpable for his actions? You say, okay, so he's, two years, he's got the genetics of his warlord father, right? Mm-hmm. And he's three years old and he's pushing the other kids in nursery or whatever he had. And you go, well, you know, he's three. Like kind of not really. And you go, okay, roll the clock forward, he's six. And he's pulling the wings off of flies. Mm-hmm. And he's grown up in this honor culture, this sort of father, the genetics, but then this reinforcement of dad is, he lets him do, everyone lets dad do it every once.

53:19And you go, okay, well, we're in his six. And then you go, okay, like just roll the clock forward. Like at what point? And it's really difficult. I'm not saying that people that are adults aren't responsible or kids aren't responsible. They do, but it's kind of, it's fuck you up as a question, because you go, I don't know. You do look at a kid and think, well, no. And we also even have that reflected in the legal system where there's Juvie, right? Oh, they're in equivalent. Yeah. Why, why a, where that Johnny Chang guy went? Young offenders or whatever it's called, young adult thing. You go, yeah, what point does this horrible guy, like maybe one of the worst people that's ever lived, do you point the finger and go, yeah, you're now you're responsible for what you did. And the same thing with, well, he was someone's son at some point. Yeah. But some people are adults and you know, let's say you hate them. Yeah, well, it's also like, yeah, again, he was Saddam Hussein's son. So I think most people like, fuck both of those guys, but it's like, it's, it's, it's just kind of colors you're thinking, you know what I mean? Where you're kind of like, yeah, you know, let me, like more for just like strangers would like do stuff. Usually, you know, you drive around, you're like, oh, that guy like offended me somehow.

54:21I'm just gonna go nuts to kind of be like, yeah, maybe that guy's down to tell, you know, small stuff like that. But I feel like once somebody does irreparable harm to another person, you're able to be like, it's sad that is someone's child, but you know, we got eight billion of us here. We got a guy's, we got enough. Sorry. Put him away. You lost your chance. Yeah, exactly. I feel like it comes a point where it's like, you know, it's not ideal, but you know, like bro, get out of here. Yeah. It'd be nice to be like, oh, let's just like put you away. And like one of those Norwegian jails where you get to learn drums or whatever. And it's like, I don't know, some people just gotta be tossed away. Jatsal, look. You're just, they have to, the jail in the, Norway's kind of sick. There's a, I'm pretty sure there's a quiz on the internet, which is, is it a Norwegian jail or a British university halls of residence? And it's essentially impossible to work out which one it is. And like the halls of residence, a lot of the time were old jails that were just near a university and then they cleared people out. That was the case in Newcastle where I went.

55:22One of the halls of residence used to be like a, correctional facility. Really? Yeah. And they just like, that's a big building. We can probably put students in there. That'll be fine. And- It's a bit swad change, you have pain. Yeah, yeah, just like, put some paintings up, you know, like change the color, get rid of the bars and we'll be fine. That's crazy. I used to have an, I was, well, I used to have an office but I had an apartment that was in an old insane asylum. It's pretty cool. It was, when you had to get in, there was just like kind of like labyrinth under it and get kind of like, you know, the basement level. It was fucking terrifying looking. Are you not worried about ghosts and shit like that? Is- I didn't sleep there. Fight slept there, I had been terrified. I was just, I had to- Oh, the office. It was like my apartment office apartment. So I'll go there and work during the day but I never slept there. I would be so scared of crazy ghosts for sure. No, thank you. Maybe stranglers. In other news, have you ever noticed how some websites make it ridiculously easy to buy while some feel infinitely harder? Back in my day, I had to walk 10 miles to a local store. I'm getting younger than me. Yeah, but my day, I got a DUI. Anyway, the reality is most businesses

56:24just get the website wrong. And if your setup is messy, you lose a ton of sales, which is why I'm such a massive fan of Shopify. They power 10% of all e-commerce in the United States, including brands like Gymshark, Skims, Aloh, and Utonic. Because when it comes to converting browsers into buyers, they are best in class. They check out 36% better on average compared to other platforms and with shop pay, can boost conversions by 50%. So upgrade your business and get the exact same checkout that we use at Utonic with Shopify. You can sign up for a free trial period by going to the link in the description below or heading to shopify.com slash modern wisdom. That's shopify.com slash modern wisdom. I know that you're into writing and stuff. You ever read Leo Tolstoy's diary entries? Have you ever seen any of these? I read some of his short stories. Might be some of the best diary entries ever. What was he on about? September 19th, 1858. Decided that one must love and work and that's it. September 20th, tired, didn't work and didn't love.

57:28Just the best. March, March 31st, 1852. Woke up at six o'clock, woke everyone up. I did not get up and slept until nine. That's it, that's his whole time. January 25th, 1851. I've fallen in love or imagined that I have went to a party and lost my head, bought a horse which I don't need at all. The guy sounds fucking awesome. Yeah, he does, man. He Tolstoy was another one of those Russian guys, right? The Russian writers are unbelievable. Built different. Yeah, 100%. They'd be living in the Insane Assign. Yeah, we'd love that. They're wild, dude. I'm reading a Dostoyesky book right now or how do you say his name? And it's, dude, those guys are that time, I don't know when Tolstoy was live with that like 1890s of Russia time period. Since I was, it's insane. Cause like, you know, obviously there's no cell phones or whatever, but like, you're just in a town full of people and like they would obviously have their beefs and quarrels and stuff. But like, you couldn't, like, you can text someone out, like, hey, what do you want to do? And if they don't get back to you,

58:28like, right, when they want to hang out, you'd have to go to someone's house and they'd be like, go away. You'd be like, what the fuck's your problem? You'd be like, I don't like you. And you'd be like, okay, fuck. Do you think this is unique to Russia? Oh, it's just that time period. In general. Just like, you know, they're just the way they talk to each other so far. I think in general, probably the whole way that the way that be fun folded before cell phone, before being able to make phone calls is, well, everything's face to face. And it was also that like old time kind of like vocal register where they'd be like, you're a presence offends me. Get out. Cause you would do, dude, it's like if they do it in the book, we're like, you gotta find matches. So if you don't know where your matches are, they were like your cell phone. Cause like, if it was, if it was nighttime, you got a light matches, light of candles, people would just come into your house and be like, Hey, I need my wife's giving birth. I need her. I need her. So you're just sleeping. And he's like, who's there? And he'd be like, oh, it's me. He's like, get out. I don't like you. And he's like, hey, I need to talk to you now. And they'd be like, be going fool. And he like, where are my matches? And you're just fumbling around in the dark and you'd like to match him. You're like, oh, fuck it. Some other guy. Dude, it was like, it was fucking, it was crazy to think about.

59:31They'd be like, well, very well. I shout and come back. And I'll leave you here. You wretched beast. And you're like, you're a fool. It was just like, all right, then he was good. Bed, you're like, fuck that guy. Yeah, I did it. You're in time. Your entire existence is relying on whether or not you can find your matches. And you've got beefs that play out in front. I mean, it's crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a, those Russian guys are fucking wild, man. There was, I think it was Tolstoy actually. He had a story about a guy, and maybe it was like an old folk tell that he just wrote down. But there was this guy who had like a farm. And he was like, damn, it's farm school. I need a bigger farm. He got an even bigger farm. He's got greedy for more and more land. Eventually he went to these like, I don't know what they would have been, like indigenous Russian kind of like in any way types. And he went and found those guys and they're like, dude, if you can have all the land you want, he traded them something for it. And he's like, but you got to walk it off. And as far as you walk from sun up to sundown, if you make a circle or a square and connect the dot, we'll give you all that land. And he's like, right on, he walks so far. He ended up just like dying basically because he kept walking and trying to get there,

1:00:33ran and just dies. And there's like, I bury him. I was like, I got to fuck up the most Russian story. Yeah, I read, it's called a swim and a pond in the rain. And it's basically nine short stories, Russian short stories. And after every page, the guy that actually wrote the book explains how to read it. Yeah, who was that by Saunders? I maybe I forget. It's kind of famous. Yeah, I'll be like, this one's boring. Yeah. Yeah, this one sucks. This one just sucks. Those guys, I don't know what it's, you know what it is? It's so stark. And just you're reading it. You're like, Jesus Christ. Life sucks. Yeah, doesn't make me feel good. It was actually, we were talking about this before. Like some things, some experiences that you go through, you can do NAD, which is this IB thing that's supposed to make you healthy. And it's awful, the whole time it's awful. And then once you've finished, it doesn't feel awful anymore. And you go, ah, maybe I'm better. Maybe it improved my health. Or maybe I just don't feel awful anymore. Yeah. And it's kind of like reading anything about Russian. And literature, about that period.

1:01:35You're like, maybe it's taught me something about my life. Or maybe I just don't feel awful anymore because that sucked. Like it feels, it's so, me, everyone's mean and everything's gray and there's not enough food. And the horse just died and the wheel of the carriage broke. And someone's son just got like, you know, leukemia. And no one even knows what leukemia is. Yeah. I was about to die of dysentery. But I, you know, and then you go, oh, that's over. And now I feel better about my life by contrast. Yeah, it gives you like 30 seconds. Then you're right back to being like, I'm bored. This coffee's too hot. Yeah. I don't like this. This beans over roasted. I've got a head in the nuts. Yeah. I've just got a fucking whack. Yeah. It's, um, that stuff is nice. I do like to kind of think about that stuff a lot. Or just like, I really, really, really challenged myself to not sink into, and I can do this easily of just like, whatever that mindset is, and me being like, this is bad. And just getting like shitty and nasty.

1:02:36It's like, they're, it's for me. It's just like, it's so inexcusable, dude. It's like, you don't, what do you do? That should be the first for me, I'm talking to myself, the number one focus of the day. Usually I'm like, I gotta get this, I gotta get this. I'm like, I need to not be just whining, whining, and just kind of like, well, if I sit in that to you, you mean, it's like, take your shut the fuck out. It's just to me personally. I'm like, shut up, man, why are you doing this? So I really try to like, every day, I like wake up, and I'm like, give me one, let me try to get it perfect one day. Defeat the voice that complains about stuff. Just bullshit, dude. It is interesting the, the more that somebody complains, the less accurate their view of reality is, because usually you're complaining about reality not meeting your expectations. But that's not reality's fault. Like, it's your fault. Yeah. It's your fault that reality didn't meet your expectations. Obviously, stuff can happen in the world that's unfair, and that sucks, or whatever you should point it out. But the complaining bit to yourself, yeah, why is there all this traffic on the way to work?

1:03:36You go, well, because there's traffic, and you didn't anticipate that being traffic, but it's not the traffic's fault. And let's not forget as well that you are traffic. Yeah, you're not a traffic. Fuck, and contributing to this in the middle of it. And yeah, reality's a thousand and no, undefeated. Yeah, it's total knockout. The reality is completely undefeated with regards to this. And the more that someone complains to you, or if you've got a friend who's always complaining, like, I don't think you understand how the world works. You can't, straight up can't understand how the world works, because if you did, your expectation would be closer to it, and therefore you wouldn't be complaining as much. Yeah. No, yeah, it's 100% true. Or for me, it's like raising, if things are good, I'll find trivial annoyances, and I'll just put them to 10, and be like, this is fucking bullshit. I'll just focus on that for like four hours, but just fucking bullshit. You're like, it's not even a real problem. Like that's in comparison to problems you've had before that's like you can just ignore that. It's strange, because when you've got loads of big problems,

1:04:38you think, oh my God, all of these problems are big. And sometimes you actually have ones, where you know this is a justifiable issue that you need to deal with in life. And then other times when there are no problems, it's like the demand for problems is fixed, and the supply needs to be brought up to meet that. It's like I have a waterline of problems that I need to have in my life, and I will lower the threshold for what constitutes a problem until I'm able to like make the things that are happening in my, it's like this fucking, I should have got it blended. I should have got it blended, I got it on the rocks, and I should have got it fucking blended. I know I should have got it blended. Morgan Hauser's got this fucking awesome story where he kind of talks about this. He planned for a long time to go away to this holiday with his wife. And they would, done the research about, it was the first one I think where they were taking both of their kids. It was gonna be this big deal, and it was the first time the kids were gonna go abroad, and they were all excited, and they've had the kids for a while, so they haven't really been able to go away and they've saved up the money, and then they even looked at the restaurant

1:05:39that they were gonna go to in this big resort in Mexico or something, and they knew even the menu in advance in the table, they knew the table they wanted to sit, it's got apparently on the reviews, it's got this view of the sunset, and this is the cocktail I'm gonna get, and I'm gonna get it blended and so do whatever. And then they finally get there, and they've got the kids, and it's a fucking nightmare, and they arrive, and they've dumped all of their stuff, and it's the first night, and the kids are at the nursery thing that looks after them for a little bit, and they've got this first time to sit down away from the kids in another country since they've had the kids, all the rest of it. And the first thing that he thought was, well, it is nice, but there's some sand between my toes, and the sand is that's distracting me, and I should have got it blended rather than on that. And the sunset, like the sunset is nice, but I actually think it would have been, I don't think the reviews are quite right, and I think that that table there would have been better to see, and I didn't bring my glasses, and now the sun's so low, it's sort of hitting me in the face, and that's kind of a bit uncomfortable. He's like, what the fuck am I doing? Like, what am I doing? I dreamed about this thing, and the experience is so close,

1:06:40but I just, the human, like, cuss is to, for everything to kind of be not quite as nice as he thought it was going to be. Oh, yeah. And then for you to focus on all the ways in which it's not as nice. Yeah, I think about it a lot. Like, I remember, I can, like, clearly remember, you know, when I, like, was, like, kind of living and dying by, like, I'd have a job, or I fucking hated that job, and I was like, one day it'll come together, and I'll make a living doing a thing I like, and then I remember when that started to become something of a reality, and it's like, really unsettling. I remember being, like, saying all these problems I could rely on, be like, fucking my boss is a dickhead. I hate this, and I don't have money. And then that stuff started to go away, and I was like, I felt like weird. I was like, oh, this doesn't really feel good, to not have all that stuff kind of like, it's not a tough problem. It's a comfortable way, where, like, at least I, like, am familiar with this, and then you get out of that, and you're like, yeah, I kind of did it, and then you just, like, your flooded with just different problems that you're just, when you look at them, you get so used to what life becomes, and then you're like, I remember being like, I would never fall into that kind of stuff,

1:07:41when it happens, and you're like, I fuck. Doing exactly what I said I wouldn't do them with pieces, shit. But yeah, it's, you know, just, it really does, for me, it's just like, learning how to just slow myself down and not be such a fucking spaz every day. Like, if God forbid, if I don't get something done, or, you know, just one day, if I don't get this ever that done, it's like, just learning how to, like, chill, and like, I don't know, man, just like, really hash out my priorities, rather than being like, you know, just doing the things you think you're supposed to do over there. You have to perfectly dominate the day, and if you don't, then you go to Battle Luzer. Yeah, or just feel like, it's not fair, you're like, again, with your ability to, like, dream a world, who's always gonna outstrip reality's ability to deliver that to you. You're literally fantasizing about what this cocktail could have tasted like, or how the sunset was, or the lack of sand between your toes. Yeah. And you think, well, if you set this almost impossibly perfect standard for every single day, you're kind of guaranteeing yourself to be miserable.

1:08:43And it's interesting on the, you get escape velocity, freedom from this thing when all of the problems and your bosses are dead, and you don't like it, and you get out of that. And then you almost have to grieve this weird life that you lost. Connor, one of my friends who was on the show this week, he talks about how, when he had his, when his wife was pregnant with his first kid, and he'd lived in his car and wrote a motorcycle with, like spikes glued onto the helmet, like, all of the things red flags in your future sun and law, like all of the shit that you don't want somebody to do. And his life could have gone in such a horrible direction, like smoking weed and selling weed and drinking booze and getting in fights and doing all this stuff, wasn't a good productive member of society. And then he remembered when he was married, with a house and a wife who was pregnant. And he had this moment of like, I made it out. I made it, I finally got in free of what could have happened in my past life.

1:09:45Yeah. And now I'm blown away by where I am, but he said he made him, he didn't even know what it, what the emotion was, it was very confusing of like, fuck, that could have gone so wrong. And now I'm in this new place. And I don't think that I have to worry about those problems anymore. I don't have to worry about those things that were like my driving, my motivation, my ambition, all of that was driven out. I just don't want to be that guy that I was when I lived in my car in a Walmart parking lot. It's going to be that guy anymore. Yeah, that's the funny thing. I was like possessed to escape like the nine to five job. That was like, when I was younger, I would have done anything. Did you just get the five? Like I can't do this, but in an office, I did that for like, you know, I would do it for like three weeks and quit. I was like, I still am. I think about it every now and again, I'm like, dude, that like terrified me to such a level where I was taking like insane risks just to get out of that, you know, and it's like, who knows? I could always go back at any time, but it's like, dude, I remember I was thinking

1:10:47about that driving the other day. I was like, dude, when I was my 20s were like, just fucking insane, like I could have died. Like for sure a couple of times. It wouldn't have been that crazy. What was the close, what was one of the closest times that you came to debt? I've had guns pulled on, I used to sell me too. So I don't have guns pulled on me twice. So that was like any other day, the guy could have been like, yeah, I'm just gonna shoot, actually shoot this guy rather than not do it. I thought about it and I was like, holy fuck man, that was crazy. It came really close. Yeah, so you think about it and you're like, holy shit, like that would have not have been that crazy. Like that. Like that. That's and stuff like that. Mm-hmm. Robbery. They're robbing me. I was not a robber. I was a robby. So I would get robbed. I would get robbed constantly. That would just be like, whatever, fuck it. That's like the worst drug dealer ever. Well, here's the thing. Hold on. I was, it was these other guys, the worst drug dealers. I was doing my job. I was on time. I was punctual. I was quality control, very quality control forward. I was never trying to rip people off. But for me, I was always, for me, money was always

1:11:48to buy kind of freedom. So I never, I didn't care about like nice stuff. I never like wasted, I would just save all my money and be like, yes, I don't have to work for like six months. This is awesome. Then I would get robbed and I would just be like, all right, I'll make it again. Come on guys, let's go. But you just, you think about it and it's like, for me, it's like, yeah, it's cool, you know, the blah blah blah to get out of it and like risk taking. I think that's all good stuff. Then it's like, dude, I could have just like, chilled out something internally too. Like I didn't have to go that crazy, you know. I could have, I could have slowly but surely figured things out and blah blah blah and it's like, yeah, I'm just, it is a relief. You're like, never have to worry about that. Like, I've got pulled over my cops recently and just kind of like, hey, what's up guys? Before I'd have been like my life's over, I'm dead. This is terrible. I'm going to jail for it. Now I'm just kind of like, what's up guys? Hello. How you doing brother? It's so nice. You sound like a very stand up drug dealer. I was. It's a nice season. Dude, I got that. It was one compliment I always get. They're like, dude, you're actually on time or this or that. I was very good. I didn't, I never read people off or anything like that. Shame that they're on trust pilot reviews for drug dealers.

1:12:48Wouldn't that be good? You'd have had a great rating. I think that's like the dark web now. So I think you kind of, if you're like, a lot of them just operate on the dark web. It's like, you can just forego all of the drama and crazy stuff. In other news, if you're trying to go from Joey Chestnut to Joey Swole, the RP Strength app is the best place to start. I've been in the gym for 20 years and it wasn't until the past few years that I had the best training sessions of my life and RP was a massive part of that. Actual scientists built this thing around one obsession to beat up their high school bullies and provide the most science-backed effective path to maximizing muscle gain. It tells you your exercises, how many sets, reps, and weights that you need to do, everything. So all that you have to do is show up and lift. If the RP app could wipe your ass for you, it probably would. And it adjusts automatically every week based on how you're actually progressing. For me, following a proper evidence-based plan has made a massive difference. And if you're serious about training, it'll do the same for you too. Right now, you can get up to $50 off the RP high-purchase app by going to the link in the description below aheading to rpstrength.com slash modern wisdom

1:13:49and using the code modern wisdom, a checkout. That's rpstrength.com slash modern wisdom, a modern wisdom, a checkout. But the thing is, if you'd drug dealer, a supplier, I guess, on the dark web, the game is completely different because it's not about who you know. It's basically essentially running a Shopify store. You are. Like how good are you at product photos and writing headlines and stuff? There's just guys in one bedroom apartment now just quietly raking in millions of dollars a year, really quiet, unassuming life. You do it for a couple of years, you get out, you know, I got it, peace. You have to watch your pick-point. I watch this Netflix documentary once about a guy that ran a similar service to the Silk Road from his bedroom and he was young. And as a part of the documentary, they recreated the bedroom perfectly. The old computer he had, the exact desk he had, the full undimensions, put it into a sound stage and after he'd got out of jail, sort of put him back into it and seamlessly cut from archive footage of what was going on to,

1:14:50like reenactment by the guy in the same size, same shapes, same color, same lighting, same computer bedroom. It was so immersive, it was really cool. Yeah, that's crazy. But yeah, the fact that being a drug dealer now means that you can basically just be an online marketer. Yeah. It's like how good are your Facebook ads, dude? It's a very different world to the one that you lived in. Yeah, it is. It's a, I didn't have, I remember hearing about the dark web when I was younger and I knew guys used to do that stuff, but I was like, I'm terrible with computers. I was like, I'm just, I'm gonna click yes and get arrested, so I'm like, I'm gonna just do what I know and just drive around here and my beat up car. But yeah, it was, you know, it was just, you know, I think about it now, because it is, it was just such a weird thing because I was like, it was like a decade. Like I did it for a long time. So I had like a very, very long time doing it to where I, I think I like fried my nervous system. My hair, I mean, my family does kind of go gray early, but I like went hyper gray really fast

1:15:51because you're adrenalized every fucking day. And it's like, so if you're in an office, you're bored and that's a problem. So I escaped that and I was just like, constantly flooded with adrenaline, just for like 12 years. What are you worried about being caught? Being arrested pretty much. It's mostly, it's mostly being arrested. Any other problem is not being killed. I didn't, I was like, they're not gonna kill me. I went, there was one guy who pulled a gun on me and then I went back to them later because I was like, you have to front me stuff from now on. So I figured in my head, like if I didn't have any leverage, there'd be no reason to try to rob me, I guess that makes sense. Okay, yeah, yeah. So I remember I went back like a batter wife and was just like, all right, I'll hang out with you again, but don't do that, all right. That was really fucked up. He had thought I had robbed him, that was his whole thing because I had given him money to go get something and he would go get it and come back and he came back like, hey, they took all your money. Why the fuck did you, I'm like, why would I rob you to take my own money back? And he was like, I don't know what's going on. And he cocked a gun and was holding that me and my roommate at the time came out and was just like, and he ran outside and then he ran out there. And I was just like, who the fuck? No, hang on, did you get roommate with the one that got chased? I poor roommate.

1:16:52No, he just came out like, hey, what's up? He was the one that got chased. Well, he was just like, go get him and I was like, I was just frozen. And then he ran out just kind of like, I'm out here too, but he ran out right after him and I was just like, fuck. Was your roommate not involved in, and not at all? He was mortified. He was the worst roommate. Horrible. I think I was the worst roommate. I was cool though, I would cover extra stuff but at that time, I was. I was just selling drugs. Yeah. Come on. It's the one thing that you can provide is drugs and cash. That's literally it. But it was funny too, because I did have a, I had a real serious conscience about it. Because I remember like weed is like, you can really conscious free. Like, you know, I wouldn't sell it like high school or something like that. So it was like, I didn't feel that. The ethical drug dealer is crazy. Dude, I remember I dabbled in trying to sell coke, which I've never done by that. I've never done coke. I tried selling coke for a while and I remember this guy would come get it off me all the time and I remember stopping people and being like, dude, you're doing this stuff too much. You have to chill and they'd be like, shut the fuck up

1:17:52and actually an ethical drug dealer is a horrible drug. You're a, you're a, you're a bad drug. That was bad. Yeah, I can't believe you had a decade career in something that you're bad at. Well, it was also though, the weed was my strong suit. Because that was like, you're dealing with kind of like mine of people from the most part, you know, and it's pretty chill, all things considered. But once you scale up and you get into like bigger money, that's when like a real criminal element enters and that's when people, yeah, yeah. So yeah, I know someone who got just shot in the face, point blank. Now they tried to set up like a, you know, 50, 60 pound deal. Someone flew out cross country to meet him as right in the head. That was it. Yeah, it's like, it gets gnarly, but you start off just like slinging ace to like your boys and it's just all very chill. He slowly gets like scarier and scarier. He worked his way up. He was saying before about, you know, you walk up the stairs. I mean, I guess your old roommate would have maybe seen something crazy at the top of the stairs, but it wouldn't have been inflatable alien with a princess peach. He just replaced one like slightly intimidated,

1:18:55very worried roommate with two small sort of insane. These kids are kind of always on drugs. They kind of behave in the manner of a, like a child is essentially a drunk adult in tiny form. For sure. What are you doing? You're like headstands. You're like, why? I don't know. It's a rules. Yeah. It keeps you sick. It's sick. It comes up and punches you and stuff. Yeah, I'm about to. I've got my, I've got my dad cup on. Thank you. But the difference is, my housemates away in Montenegro at the moment, and there is something really, like kind of despondent about coming home and nothing's moved. Like nothing's changed, but that cup is in the exact same place as when I left it this morning. I just want someone to come in like, even if they mess my stuff up a bit. Just vandalize it slightly. It's just a little bit like move the cup. No, I just want new mess. Yeah. Or different mess or something. Like, no, it's, but it's really, like, oh, it's the same, it's the same as it was before. That's what there it is. It's dude, it's a, yeah,

1:19:55that's when I travel for standup, I'll like my hotel rooms. It's a saying, I walk into that silence and I'm like, it's just kind of people. I must be great, right? I'm like, no, I don't, I really, I really dislike it. But yeah, that was kind of like my, my whole, I guess the thing that I've learned, like horribly in the wrong, like the hard way is that like, if at my early 20s, because the problem was is like, at least I think in school, it's geared towards like a chief for yourself and yourself alone, get into the best school, make the most money. But then you're like set on this track that you're like, I remember being like in college, being like, I don't really care about that. But I also want to do well and I want to have a nice life and it was like, had this big conflict where I was like, if I were to talk to like a 20 year old now, I'd be like, find something you like to do that maybe benefits other people. And that will actually give you enough meaning to like endure the horrible time in your really career where you're eating shit and everyone, you know, it sucks. Cause I try to like lightning jump ahead of that and it's just was like a fucking disaster for like 15 years.

1:20:55It was at one disaster after another, just to get out of like, I was such a pussy about having a job. I mean, like, I deserve more than this. And it's like, I got, I almost died. I just have to have a gun pointed out. Yeah, I was literally died because I could have just like found something else. Because I tried to drink coffee instead of a cubic. Yeah. I know. Dude, nice for real. I like see office guys hanging out at like lunch time, like 10 people at lunch and we'll get to the point where I would like envy yourself. I'm like, dude, that actually looks nice. That's nice. You're friends right time. Everyone's kind of chilling. Don't need to take your work home with you. You're not worried about someone breaking your door down. Your housemate doesn't hate you. Yeah. You're just, you're just, it's so, it's like, I remember like almost craving boredom at a point where I was like, I wish I fucking was bored. That'd be awesome. Now have to worry about like 90 million different things. And you know, it's like, people really sort of shit talk university, going to college or whatever and then they do the same thing about having a nine to five. And it's cool to be being able to do your own thing or build your thing or work on someone's thing that's smaller and you've got my ownership over.

1:21:57Oh, that shit's great. But it's not necessarily better. And that I don't have to take my work home with me. I get my weekends off when I want. I don't have to worry about like making pay for the people that work for me and all of that shit. A lot of people think a working for myself means that I get to choose when I work. But what it results in is you're just working all the time. Yeah. And you go, do you want that? That is that kind of what your dream is. And you're right as well to say that you're going to have to endure a bunch of, you're going to have to eat some shit. Yeah. It's like what flavor shit can you eat? Yeah. Because some people can eat the cubicle coffee, lunch break, shit, super easy. And other people can eat the, I'm never going to get a day off shit super easy. Yeah. It's like, what pain do you want in your life? Because people, does that line about, like, do what feels like play to you, but looks like work to everyone else? But that kind of ignores the fact that even the most

1:22:59existential aligned thing that you do in your life is regularly going to feel like work. It's regularly going to feel like shit. So what shit do you want? Yeah. Not what fun and play do you want? It's like even writing your books and stuff. You turn up and you manage to have the perfect morning and you've seen sunrise and the kids are off and you're trained and you've got the right amount of caffeination and you sit down and you go, oh, fuck. Yeah. Just a blinking, you've got to blinking. Or you're just tweaking a sentence for the 30th time and you're like, dude, I feel like I'm going to pass out. I'm sitting in a chair. I've no blood going into my brain. I'm like, is that a perfect, yeah, it's just anything. I love writing. And it's like EVA, even then you're like, fuck, but that's with anything. It's like you're not even like what? It's like just figuring out why are you doing this outside of your own personal game? Because that'll fizzle out even if you get it. It's like, is there a compelling reason to do a thing? Is it for other people? Is it for just creating something new? If you're something, whatever the fuck it is? But that was the one thing. I completely missed and I got older and I was just kind of like,

1:24:01oh, okay. There it is. Yeah, fuck, I could have missed. There should be a name for when you disregard cliches and then in future realize that the cliché was right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? I know. Yeah, yeah, it's that thing that everybody says. But because everybody says it, it feels trite, which means that it can't be true. So I'm not going to do it because that's fucking gay. Yeah. And then you realize like, oh, god. I already had it. I literally had it and I got rid of it and it was some shit my mom said to me when I was 13. Yeah, that was, I've been reading, you know, Chesterton, Williams, another Englishman. Yeah, you get a chesterton, that's his name. He, I love reading his essays and he has this book. I'm reading right now called Orthodoxy where he started out being like, I'm about to come up there. Because someone was like, well, he did a book that kind of criticized a lot of other philosophical systems of his time. Someone was like, what's your philosophical system? He's like, all right, get this. Lays it out and then he goes, fuck, this is Christianity. He's like, fuck, I just explained Christianity.

1:25:02He starts his book with the story of a sailor who's off one degree. So he thinks he's going to South Africa and he ends up just rediscovering English. And it goes into circle and lands back in England. Like I've discovered England guys, check it out. And I was like, yeah, dude, it's been here forever. And it's just such a funny idea. He was like a real like witty, he's obviously a really sharp witty guy. And he was like, I'm about to blow their minds with him. And he's like, this is the, this is it. And he just put it together and he was like, fuck, it's just orthodox Christianity. Yeah. Yeah, he said he was like, he thought he was on like, he was like, I felt like I was like 10 minutes of head of like the pulse of everything, turned out I'm like 1800 years behind. He did it to get older and you're all fucking sparks and fireworks. You're like, dude, I'm, and then you get old. And you're just like, yeah, I'm just another old guy being like, hey, be careful before you make decisions, man. Really? Try to think about others. Shut up, old man, I'm doing this my way, okay? Advice is lame. Try to think about others. Yeah, thanks. Thanks, Dickhead. Yeah. And then you find out it's true.

1:26:02Yeah. The, um, the alchemist by Paula Quelo, uh, that was like the first book I read. I went so long without reading a book. So I was in uni and I hated academia, even though it was okay at it. But I just got so disinscient within three weeks of being in university. It's like, why am I learning about Henry Ford's principles of scientific management? Like, why this is, I'm never going to need this. I just immediately started running parties. Um, was like, oh, that's sick. And that actually also teaches me business kind of. Mm-hmm. But I became very, uh, like a flippant and dismissive of any stuff. Even if it was probably useful, like, no, it's like stupid. Because I've learned it from a lecturer who has never run a business, right? Yeah. It's the interesting thing about typical business courses. Everyone goes to think, I'm going to learn how to run a business being taught by people who don't run businesses. Which is the business theory, guys. I went to school for business as well. And I was kind of like, so you're a doctor in business. Why? You're not in business. Should you not be like, that would be like finding out that you're learning from a doctor, a surgeon or something. Like a research doctor. It's like getting surgery by a research doctor.

1:27:04You're kind of like, right. Yeah, this is making sense. Yeah, those guys, that was a, so yeah, that's sorry. That made me laugh. Is that a similar experience being like, what the fuck are you? Yeah. Anyway, so I like, I go through university and I'm like, I, this is fucking, doesn't really, I don't really understand what it is that I'm learning. And then I get out on the other side and I haven't read a book in, in, for, like, Harry Potter was like the last book I read when I was 14 or something. Yeah. And then I go to do love Island, that reality TV thing. And you have a week of media lockdown where they need to release to the press who's going on the show, but they don't want any of the people that are going on the show to know the other people that are going on the show. So they basically have a guide that supervises you and lives with you for a week. And you go and do all of your interviews with the TV and the radio and the press people and then he watches you at all times and you're living in, it was Palmer, Mallorca, so the South Coast of Mallorca. And you have a little geographic area that you're allowed to move in with your

1:28:07shaperone and he follows you 24 hours a day. And then all of the other people that are on the show have got different territories and they go to different gyms at different times to make sure that there's no chance that you would overlap each. It's really crazy. It's fucking wild. It's like a military operation. And while I was there, they're taking your phone off you and you're not allowed to access the internet. You can't even go to news agents. You're not allowed to go into a news agent on your own in cases. You know, there's an English newspaper that's about to say the new series of this thing and there's a people that are there or whatever. And so I was like, I've got nothing to do. And all I've done is message people on WhatsApp like, Hey, are you coming out tonight for a decade? All I've done is that. I'm just going to probably not too dissimilar to your career. And then I've got this but my mum gave me this book. She said, you should read this while you're away. So read it. And if you read the alchemist, I have read it a while ago. Fucking psychedelic trip to read it. Anyway, all of that, all of that long diatribe is to say the lesson from that book is going on a journey and ending up at the same place that you started is not

1:29:08the same as having never left. And I think that that's kind of cool because it can suck to realize. Damn, I wasted a long time trying to relearn a thing that I already knew or traveling the seas to come back and go England again. And that made me feel less like I wasted my time. So you kind of learn that a bunch of experiments that you thought might be right were wrong. And now, okay, like yeah, you're back in the place that you started, but at least you've gotten rid of all of the things that you thought that might have sucked. Yeah, that's all that might be good for you. That's also just like there's no emphasis. I would say on people's interior whatsoever. It's like, you know, it's like work, get a thing, get a job, do this. I'd say that. But there's at least in American school, there's no class. There's nothing being like, hey, you know, if you feel this way all the time, maybe think about this. Like it's, I would say, because if in the day I put probably, you know,

1:30:0895% of my day into like getting stuff done, blah, blah, blah. Usually it was like 100% and zero percent of like stopping, not even meditating, be like, I fucking meditated today. But like just go for a walk, chill, try to like calm myself, just focus on like what's going on inside of myself. And it's like, dude, it's just, I would say it's, I mean, it's not as important because like if you just like, you could meditate yourself, you need to do stuff. I'm not being one of those guys. You don't have to do anything, but I really think you need like 10% of your day of being like, even if it's like 10 minutes of your day of like slow down, maybe like write your thoughts out, do anything to like try to figure out why you're doing what you're doing that day and like, what are you feeling like that day? Why are you feeling that? You know, what's the plan here? And I've never done that. I don't know many other people who really do it at all. Well, they're trying to fix the problem by just, I'll just throw enough shit at the wall and maybe some of it will like get through me. Yeah. We did this fucking, it really means so funny to have put Matt on the episode with Joe, Dr. K and Connor.

1:31:09So we had three master coaches. Like one was a monk in an ashram. Another has gone to Tibet and done the gig. Fucking I have a dick medicine. And other ones coached tens of thousands of guys with a youngy and psychoanological theory and that the shadow work and all of this stuff. We had them around this table and they basically came to that, which was like, you should spend some time being aware of why you're doing the things that you're doing. And if you're not, you're kind of just like in the dark trying to find stuff in a bedroom, like picking up something and say, okay, this isn't it. And you don't even know what you want. You don't know why you're doing. So it is kind of, it does kind of come back around that way. But the reason I said about the university thing is like, people get so much shitty going to uni or having a nine to five. Right. University for me ruled, even if I hated the actual course that I did and didn't learn anything from these lecturers. And then the times I've had nine to five, so I knew it wasn't going to be forever. But it's like that also was like kind of nice. I don't know, being disparaging and saying, oh, you need to learn,

1:32:10range your make your own way in the world thing is kind of passing. Let me give you this. This was so so embarrassing. So I went to Bali and did the show at the back end of the Australia tour at the start of this year. Met up with a friend that used to work for me in nightlife. And she was out there doing nutrition coaching, you know, hormone optimization. And this is how to work with your body and stuff. And she'd done some courses online. You saw work in finance in London. She said, you know what it is? I am like five grand a month. And I'm the happiest I've ever been. And I used to live in London and have all of these things and whatever. And I was like, okay, tell me how your business works. So I'll like coach people over WhatsApp one-on-one. So how much do you charge? She said, however much it is. And I was like, that's stupid. What you need is you need to have a big website. You need to have a funnel and you need to have a low level deal. And the low level deals your squeeze page. And once you've got them in, say $5 or $10 or whatever. So you need to make a lead magnet to get the email addresses. Once you got the email, then you'll upsell them to the small course. And then you've got your middle-level course and your middle-level course. You don't need to look after it. And that's sort of where most of the people are going to be.

1:33:11But then you've got your one-on-one and your one-on-one is going to be an upsell. But that's going to be like, you know, a grand or a couple of grand. So you need to have a sales call for that. That means you're probably going to need to learn sales. And then you need to, you know, if you scale up a bit more, you're going to need to get people to do sales. You only need to do paids. You need to learn how Facebook adds to it. And I was watching myself go like, what I stopped. I was like, what the fuck are you doing? She's literally just told you she's the happiest that she's ever been. And you're like, hey, let me curse you with the same problem that every person in history has said not to do. It was so insane. Yeah. I watched myself go like, and I paused and I was like, actually, just disregard everything that I just said. Like you should just whatever you've done. Like you've already done it. And here's me going like, that's stupid. Like this is what you need to do. Yeah. No, no. Yeah. So you need to scale this out of the biggest thing ever. Although I say some of that too is like, if I do have any level of expertise in anything, I'm so happy to dump that. Like especially, you know, I don't know what your relationship, but she's kind of a babe. I'd be like, let me tell you about something I know. But no, it's the same thing. Like here's what you got to do. You got to do it. And it's like, I'm good, man. Like I'm, I just told you I'm good.

1:34:12I'm sure. Yeah. No, I, I suffer from a similar thing. I'm just completely dumped stuff on people. What's this private investigator thing? Was that like a part of your history? That was a PI very briefly. Right. That was a PI. Yeah. The, well, it was, so I hang on. So you went from, it was wild being a person on one side of the law to being somebody presumably that kind of assists. P. Yeah. Well, yeah, it's, it's more insurance companies, honestly. Okay. So what's the process of becoming a licensed private investigator? There was actually kind of a suite. So I knew somebody who was. So they kind of just like let me do it. And they kind of give you a little thing like, if cops come on bother, you just show them the same. So nothing. You know, it's basically, yeah. I mean, you could get your real thing, but I didn't have like a real license. I was just doing kind of like PI grunt work. So they give you like a little fake, you know, here, do this. And like show, if someone comes up to bother you, they, hey, I'm working with these guys. So you have like something to flash the cops. Okay. Cause they'll call the cops on you. They'll be like, why the, the person was sitting on a driveway. Um, I thought it would be a lot more exciting than it was. It was very boring. I did it for two days.

1:35:12I stopped. I just sit outside like a fucking warehouse and like, they're like, here's a grainy photo of a guy. I had to just sit there and I like, you know, I, I had to like wait for the shift to see if it was like the guy came out, but it was like, I, it was just hard to even distinguish. I'd like the grainy photo of a black guy and then like 12 black guys came out of the building. And I was just like, fuck, it was winter time. Everyone's wearing hats and scarves and shit. I was like, bro, I can't, I got to get like, I need to get like up to face to face to even have a shot. So I just sat there and read books for like two days and like, told my body I was like, bro, I can't, I'm not, this isn't for me. Take your badge back. Dude, he was showing me like fucking spy watches and shit when I went in there. I'm thinking I'm going to be in a bar like recording conversations. I was in my car just for like 12 hours. Just reading, reading books and then I come up and like, oh, shit, they did a shift change. I was, I was a terrible private high. It was one of my, yeah, it's one of my many jobs. So that was, that was two days. I would have jobs to do my whole career of, I would say mainly selling weed.

1:36:15It was like, I would have good time. I have booms and busts within that. So then during the bust, I would go get a job. So I would kind of like constantly be doing like sell drugs, make money, get robbed, take job. Yep. Save money by drugs if I can't get the front, if I can't get them fronted, I'd have to save up money again and then, yeah, start over again. And then I would get the job when I knew I had enough money from weed. I would start trying to find weed customers at my job and then I would quit the job. I don't know, they don't believe the princess peach alien sounds like having compared to that. It's the best dude. It's like, yeah, that's that's that was the big thing when I had kids. I was I had such a like a weird anxiety and fixation over like, what's my job? But I don't know. And I once I had kids, I remember the guy came in to change like, I was in like the hospital room. And the guy came in and changed the paper towels out of the dispenser and I was like, Oh, dude, I could, I could do that for all I could, you know, I don't care. So like it like it all made sense to me. I'm like, yeah, you just get a job dude. So you have money to do all this other important stuff rather than being like blinded by like my job as my entire world.

1:37:16Yeah, fighting records and hoping that you're going to fucking get them away. I just can't I can't do it. I can't do it. Dude, dude, the bets. Thank you, man. Appreciate you. What have you got coming up? Why should people go? Oh, I have a bunch of shows coming up. Matt McCusker dot com. Let me see. I have one. There's one I got new work. Is it one I got to really move some tickets to but either way just go to mat McCusker dot com for stand up. Matt and Shane's you could podcast the whole the whole shebang. Second, appreciate you man. Thank you, man. All right. Goodbye, my beauty. Dude, fucking awesome. Yeah, it's fun.