Sam and Pete face their biggest critics yet

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Watch on Josh and Kira's YouTube channel as of 5 p.m. on Wednesday, which is last night.

So that means you can catch us on A Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Sunday.

Wonderful. Make sure you rate, review, follow, all of that crap you know this score by now.

As this is the bonus episode, it's mainly about you.

So if you want to get in touch with us, then email the worst email address in the world,

which is, hello, it's our Productions.co.uk. I hate it still.

Love it. Absolutely.

You despise it and we've just hired Alan Carr in the studio as well.

You've probably already listened to it. Let us know what you think and rate our shit as well.

Have you set that up now?

Yeah.

Well, you're in the 15 minutes between.

I don't think Alan liked it.

But it was unbelievable. I had a great time.

Listen, you know, one of the things we said at state of relevant productions,

we were here to disrupt the entertainment industry and make some fucking magic.

So why not create a website called rate nice shit?

Exactly. And get the legends on this part.

Yeah, I won't be partaking in the rate nice shit thing, but you know, it's good to know.

Yeah, so, so you may have seen recently on YouTube a what I call a terrible prank

that the team, aka Pipper, played on me and Pete.

Me and Pete genuinely just a little bit of backstory.

Me and Pete never normally get asked to do talks, right?

And we get a call up from quite a reputable university to do what we think is a big careers talk

in front of a massive audience. And we were like, you know, this is going to be fucking great.

Let's do it. We turn up. It seems super professional. We get in there.

And it's just we've never been blindsided. So hard in my fucking life.

Yeah, I mean, I was under the impression because it was based on media,

which is kind of Sam's bag that he was aware of what was happening in terms of the slide.

Pipper had told me that Sam had seen the slide. So I thought, I'll just sort of

hang in the background and sort of black as much as I can.

As it turns out, neither a set of fucking clue. And also the audience, quite good.

The old stony faces, quite good.

Fuckers, they play their part so well. One point you heard one cough at the back of the auditorium.

You're like, oh my god, we would we bombed so hard.

Yeah. Yeah.

Do you know what? At one point, the worst thing I think for the entire thing was the motto.

We're like, like, we were like, what's your motto? And our motto, if you listen to this podcast,

is you never know where'll have a go. And we were like, okay, this is nice.

So we're going to get cell motto in front of loads of people and like, you know,

be like, this is this is why we had this motto.

You anyone can achieve anything. And this fucking mountain comes up on the projector.

And you know, when you look at something, you go, I don't know, where the fuck we're going to go with this?

The mountain coming up on the projector wasn't the big problem for me.

It was your asshole.

In front of a university sort of hall was a lot.

I also, at one point during the talk, gave up with life and just started insulting everyone.

That wasn't ideal. I apologise for my Welsh accent.

And to the lovely sort of professor lecturer, lady who was there, who I'd repeat the sort of told was old.

We wore suits. Pither.

Yes. I mean.

You looked great doing it.

No, we didn't. He looked like he was about to sell him a house.

And I looked like I just wrote some sort of weird novel and potentially come in and, you know,

the police were after me.

Yeah.

I mean, at one point I had to tell them we were a reputable businessman, which we're not.

But I had to say something to try and fucking resurrect what had happened.

So if you haven't seen it, go and check it out on YouTube.

I hope it got fucking numbers. It better have got fucking numbers.

We never done that again.

Emails.

Here we go. So we got Ellie gets such goes, hey boys.

If the other person was a meal deal, what would they be?

Main side and drink.

For example, if someone is boring, they would be a ham sandwich,

ready salted criss and a water.

Just want to say I love you both and everything you do.

Keep smashing it. Thank you. It's very sweet of you.

Well, I think you've just named what mine is then.

You do like what you do.

Well, I mean, the ready sort of Chris and water.

So if I was going to call Sam a meal deal, I think he'd drink would be a red ball.

High energy.

You know what I mean? Gives you wings.

For a sandwich, you know, if we're going to go on the pass, it will be one of the sort of

Tesco finest. I'm going to go with the roast beef and horse radish.

Roast beef and horse radish. I would say.

With a little bit of rocket.

Yeah, yeah.

And then crisp wise.

What would you be if you were a crisp?

Do you know what Chris would be?

Sam would be a disco.

Start flying sauce.

That's a sweet.

Disco is just the round sort of crisps.

You know what a disco is.

Is that an old school reference?

You will know what a disco is.

I'm not that fucking old, am I?

And there was like really tangy.

Like you have like, there's so salt in it.

So you try and go fucking hell.

This is amazing.

And then you have one, two men.

You go all fuck a lot.

You get a lot blistered tongue.

Yeah.

So yeah.

So Sam's a roast beef and horse radish.

Quite spicy.

You know what I mean?

But fundamentally solid English, you know, roast beef.

Horse radish is kind of the ADHD.

Just a bit of spicy wacking in there.

Rocket, health, wellness.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

You're in great shape.

Red ball gives you wings, lots of energy.

And this goes sometimes too much.

Yeah, you know, you can eat one too many.

Logically, I've really thought that through.

That is probably more than I should have done.

Great job there.

I would say if Pete was a meal deal,

he'd have to be an epic rest.

No, yeah, we're back.

A fucking egg and criss.

I think because you know what you're getting.

And when you like it, you love it.

Otherwise, it's quite underwhelming.

You can never win.

You like it.

Some people swear by an egg and criss.

People ride or die an egg and criss.

How do you feel about an egg or criss?

I like an egg and criss actually.

Yeah, not the worst.

Not the worst in the way.

But not a petrol station egg and criss.

No.

And you can send you west.

No.

But I'd say an egg and criss.

And then, look, you actually like this, Chris Pete.

But I'll give you a McCoy.

Oh, I do love him.

You're a manly Chris.

He's got ridges in him.

Yeah, he got ridges in it.

And Chris Pete.

You know what you're getting.

It's got a lot of crunch and you have it.

And you don't feel like a pussy when you're eating a McCoy.

No, no, no, no.

You crack open a McCoy and you go,

I don't, I'm eating a fucking McCoy.

Yeah, and out of the McCoy,

out of the Chris sort of family,

you go, you know, I feel like sort of the more manly Chris

I'm having.

It's the Chris Pardman.

Yeah, it's the Chris Pardman.

And actually for a drink,

I'll have you a little box of my beer.

I really love my beer.

I know you do a little box of my beer for Pete.

And it gives you a flavour.

Well, it's just a standard.

It's a standard black car.

A standard black car of my beer.

And the reason being is just because I think that actually,

you're a child at heart.

You have it now, but you know,

because those little cartons are quite little.

But when you taste them, you're like,

that's delicious and I'd love a little bit more.

And that's like Pete,

he gives you a little bit of sweetness.

And you're like, oh, that's,

that will, that will trump most other sweet drinks.

But you never have quite enough.

And also quite old-rubbing,

and I've been around for years.

There have been around for years.

Yeah, nice.

That'll be my meal, too.

I've been with both quite a lot of people in fact.

What an interesting one.

I do feel like whilst we're doing this,

we might as well describe pepper as a meal deal.

Oh, pepper as a meal deal.

Oh, I know.

It'll get you a salmon and cream cheese.

Oh, why?

Yeah, I agree with that.

Salmon cream cheese.

Gluten-free-free.

It's pretty bad.

You can't get it in many places,

but when you do it, it's a real fine.

Yeah, it's a real fine, isn't it?

Yeah, in terms of...

I think that is a compliment.

Yeah, in terms of a crisp,

I, to be honest with you, I love you,

but sometimes lacking in personality.

So I'm going to say,

don't apologise, darling, it's okay, we've got used to it.

I'm going to say a ready-sorted hula hoop.

Yeah, I prefer...

I know, I love a ready-sorted hula hoop.

Yeah, but you kind of like it, it's inoffensive,

but it wouldn't be your first choice.

Can you play a couple of games with them as well?

You put money fingers, you'll love it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, look at me, keep her in.

Oh, wait!

But because she's Pippa-Ran,

I'd go for one or two, actually.

Oh, Nicknacks, because the alien on the front...

Oh!

So Nicknacks, maybe.

Or...

And this is what I'd probably actually choose here.

Well, she could actually, if you're going to go on that

with the kind of head,

she could be like a packet of then pop-a-doms,

similar to that for it.

Oh, yes.

Nice and round.

Yeah, big round, sort of.

Yeah, yeah, cool.

You can't beat him, fucking you're in him.

I actually don't think...

I don't think that you even have a crisp.

I think Pippa would probably be like...

Because she is quite boring.

Just carrots and her.

They're carrots of hers!

Yeah.

Like celery hummus, or like a health bar.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

One of those fucking, one of those health bars.

She's a buzz.

I see what she is, she's a bag of trail mix.

Oh, she's a trail mix.

Yeah, she's a trail mix.

But what I will do for the drink,

just to throw in something that people might find interesting.

Yeah.

She's a user.

Really?

Hmm.

Oh, she hates that.

Hmm.

Sort of quite a wheel.

Oh, quite a watered down milkshake,

but it's still technically milkshake.

She's a matcher to me.

Yeah.

She's an iced matcher,

because she thinks she's like one of those sort of taller girls.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sort of iced matcher and a...

Good.

And a Nutri-Bar.

Yeah.

Yeah, I like that.

Nutri-Bar.

And whilst we're at it,

and he's staying right at me, Josh, really easy.

That one, I'm going to be honest with you.

Ready to sell a crease?

He's ready to sort with walkers,

he's a cheese and Brentston.

Yeah.

And he's a coconut water.

Yeah, yeah.

I love coconut water.

Yeah, but there you go, then.

Or just a water.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Not even...

Not even something.

Yeah, but...

Also, he's not Evian.

No, no, no, no, of course.

No, he's mountain spring.

It was a Cornish one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cornish one.

Yeah.

Listen, it does a job you need to eat.

You have to eat,

but you don't really want to.

You don't feel like it,

but you've got a full summing down your throat.

And that's what we do with Josh.

He's something to full-stand your throat.

Hey, fuckers.

We're doing my usual doom scroll through TikTok

and came across a video that may peak Pete's interest.

It's called Rating Brits Outfits.

Link attached, which I'm sure producer Pippa can take care of.

Love you, and if it's worth anything,

you're my style icon, Pete.

Love Lorna.

Okay.

Right, have we got it?

Rating Brits Out.

Yeah, I'm going to enjoy this even more

after the previous evil.

Ready salted hula hoop over here.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know what to say.

I feel like you just wear the same thing every time

there's a whole cup of red carpet.

So I actually don't have anything to say.

Oh, which is a shame,

because I love that fella's hoodie.

The sort of dirty, scruffy hoodie.

No, you look great there.

Do we know this guy's handle?

No, we don't.

It's not in the thing.

No, I'm not keeping it that way.

No, I think if he's going to rate Pete's out for you,

let's give Pete a chance to rate it.

Listen, the likelihood is we won't be able to air any

of what I've got to say.

I have different suits made specifically for each event.

So it hadn't been worn before.

Absolutely.

I would also just like to point out that I was also

in the Brits best dress list.

So I'm sorry, Anna Wintour,

that you weren't a big fan of that.

But it's nice to always have your opinion.

And as I say all the time,

opinions are like ourselves.

Everyone's gotten.

And most of them are sort of just full of shit.

Well, there you go.

But it hasn't bothered me in the slightest.

I'm absolutely okay with that.

Thank you ever so much for just including me in your poll.

And I hope the job at Vogue works out for you.

Fucking hell.

Come at me, bro.

Oh, God.

Cannot have a go.

You got me.

Whatever your name is.

If you're going to have a go at Pete,

it can't be fashion.

So I think we've got the name that doesn't take it well.

No, listen, it's anything.

It's anything.

Listen, it's nice to be included.

I actually didn't mind my Brits.

Yes, it might be simple.

But I think sometimes people try too hard on it.

As a man also, it's kind of like,

what do you do?

What else would you wear?

If people have got options for me for the next red carpet,

and you'd like to throw them in,

what would you like to see Sam and I wear on a red carpet?

We could do it sort of a Sam Smith,

and we're sort of inflatable balloons,

which I'm sure you'd love.

I'd like to push it that sort of that far.

Or a Harry Styles ballet show.

Oh.

Do you know what I mean?

I don't know.

What else can we wear rather than a suit?

Well, look, Pete, to be fair,

at least you're making it on to some sort of list.

The only list I've made it on is the,

no, I'm not going to say what you thought it's going to say just then.

I've only ever been on worst dress.

Oh, yeah.

I've only ever been on worst dress.

What was that for?

In the Crocs.

Yeah.

I mean, are you surprised?

Well, yeah, because we were...

Yeah.

You are.

Actually, no.

You are surprised about wearing pale blue Crocs

to the biggest night of television.

Yeah.

Making a statement.

Yeah.

Making a statement you can still be comfortable.

Yeah.

No, you can't.

I must say, actually, whilst we're talking about Brits Outfits,

I think that's one of your best red carpet looks.

Do you know what, Pete?

That's very sweet.

I've come to give you a very dapper.

Come to realise that, actually,

I just want to sort of look normal.

Like, I just don't want to...

So, when are you getting rid of the mullet?

I want to blend in.

I want to blend in and I don't want to stand out.

So, actually, I would quite...

What that guy said about you, I would love.

Yeah.

I mean, listen.

Listen, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

I mean, I didn't have...

You didn't have your broke, Sean.

Disappointed about that?

Well, yeah.

I mean, the brooch has been a thing.

You know, I've done the kind of the brooch for you

and I feel like everyone there does the brooch.

I'm going to take the...

You know, we don't need a brooch.

Just nice.

I sort of look like the vertical version of a zebra crossing

and I'm happy with it.

Monochrome.

I enjoyed it.

So, fuck you.

How's that?

How'd you like them, apples?

Buddy.

Hey.

How'd you like them?

And I will, just so you know,

and if you're aware,

and you've listened to the pub before,

I don't take keyboard worry as well.

So, I will be finding your handle

and I will have a little look

and I will judge you based on what you wear.

I can only see from the shoulders up there

and I'm not happy.

But I do know I'm going to add a little something to that.

I never understand people who fucking go and tick

or can rate the outfits

of people who go on to the red carpet.

It could never be me.

It could never be me to care enough

about someone's fucking outfit to like go on

and be like, oh, they look like shit.

Talking about fits though,

I think it's a good time to bring up

that we've had the return of the stylist for Sam.

And recently,

I must say, been looking very good.

So, today Sam's got a little shirt on,

a cropped shirt,

as well,

which is very nice.

He's got his new trainers on

and he's gone well with the jeans.

Loafers have made an appearance recently,

along with tight fitting cashmere jumpers,

which again,

and as much as it sounds like I'm taking a piece,

I think you look very good at the minute.

Thank you very much.

I do.

So, we have had,

is it, is she sort of on her six months off?

Do you know what?

This is, she hasn't been on for a while.

I thought you said that she was on the loafers.

I've done is, you know, she did, but they're a bit old.

She, I basically just, this is just how lazy I am.

I've looked at what she's got me in the past,

and then just gone on those websites and be like,

oh, I like that.

Oh, so you've, you've recognized the brands,

and then you start up with, okay, okay, okay.

I'll take a bit of that down to be fair.

But I would love,

I've wanted to do this for so long as,

start Pete a TikTok,

right, and then get him rating, reviewing things,

and reviewing people.

I think it would be so much fun

to sort of like,

let's get Pete to review sort of outfits,

sort of like things that you don't really care that much about.

I think, I mean, yeah, the problem is,

I just don't care though.

Yeah, but fun.

We'd love to see it.

I think after you've done sort of three or four,

I'd just be like,

yeah, looks the same as the last one.

What if you were to describe your style,

what would you call it?

I could not tell you, Matt, I have no idea.

You know what I'm not.

I literally just,

I look in the mirror and I go,

I think that looks okay.

And then I get in here and I wait for the,

for the savagery.

It's not even just Pete.

The savagery is the, of the entire studio.

If I walk in, I look like shit,

I will get told immediately.

But I'll go on.

Listen, but I wouldn't take that too seriously

because I must say,

stay in one of them,

does a lot of things right.

Style isn't one of them.

You're also hardly complementary

of everyone in the office.

I was going to approach that,

but I'm ready to.

Yeah, it was because you're a lot of a sister.

Okay, well, I'm allowed to achieve that.

You are allowed to do it to me.

I started complaining about it.

I put my clothes on.

I literally, and this is,

Jenny thinks this is,

I don't even think about Pete.

I think about Pipper,

when I get changed.

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

I do.

And you're like,

oh, ready for the army.

Oh, got your hiking trainers on.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you look like you're off to church

in that, with that neckline.

How long have you got?

You think about me?

I go, I go.

We've started something.

Karen's back.

Yeah.

Pipperine.

I literally look in front of the mirror,

and I'm sweating.

Oh, shit.

I hope I don't get bullied by Pipperine.

I'm just fucking, I hope this happens.

I would definitely say,

I would definitely say over the last few years,

you have put more effort into our things and styling.

Yeah.

So you must, you must,

because previously,

and we all know the period of time

we're talking about,

as do you,

it was a case of,

I will wear the same hoodie

until it has holes

and the stains remain on it for a year.

Yeah.

I don't care.

Yeah.

Now, no, no, you,

you've been,

doesn't mean that you're obsessed with it.

No, you're not.

No, you must think in the morning,

okay, what goes?

100%.

Yeah.

Which I think is great.

And that's part of the grow-up.

Mate, I, because do you know what?

And I've, we've said it before I said it again,

like, I keep, like,

stumbling over old photos, Pete,

and I look at myself,

and I do just look at me,

and I go,

and you did try and tell me,

like, you did try and tell me,

Pete would look at me sometimes,

and I would look like, like,

like, really bad,

and people like me,

like, you're, like, one of my best friends,

I do just want to let you know.

I have some respect for you.

Yeah, mate.

You would say that to me,

like, you need to just have a little bit of respect for yourself.

I will never, ever forget.

There's comfortable,

and then there's this.

Yeah.

And then obviously,

the time he's talking about last year,

he literally goes,

I think it's time.

Yeah.

If there's ever an opportunity

for you to have a good go at this.

Have a good go at it.

Now it is.

Yeah.

Never know.

We'll ever go.

Anyway.

Right.

So we're going to move on to something big.

It's been announced this week.

Sam is hosting a,

a pod show.

Yeah.

We're doing unpacked.

We're doing unpacked.

We're doing unpacked.

Is it called baby?

Come on.

Is it called unpacked?

Yeah.

Are these these?

I don't want to be unpacking myself, that was the thing.

So you're doing unpacked.

We're doing unpacked for the, for the legend series.

Yes.

Which is the South African one.

Yeah.

So we've got,

line up has been announced.

It had been.

Adam Thomas,

Harry Rednepp,

Sunita,

Gemekines,

Ashley Roberts,

Scarlett Moffat,

Moffar and David Hay.

Yeah.

It's a big lot.

I'm a massive,

I'm a celeb fan.

And that line up to me,

right,

is something that I

would probably rather watch

than even the main show.

Well, these were people

that I've grown up watching.

Harry fucking Rednepp,

back in the jungle.

I'm so in for that.

So, I mean,

as a alumni of,

I'm a celeb.

Yeah.

Not just an I.A. winner

of I'm a celeb.

I don't know if you know,

but Sam,

I'm a celeb.

And it is,

the king of the jungle.

Still,

you can never take that away

from him.

Who is your money on?

Oh, my God.

I don't know.

Do you know,

I'd say Harry Rednepp again.

I just think he's fucking brilliant.

We did a little

previous winner.

Yeah.

He's a previous winner.

We did a Q&A with them

or that she last week.

And we introduced all

of the cast members

to the press.

And they were fucking brilliant.

And we saw a sizzle of the show.

It is so,

so good.

And this isn't even a show

that I'm,

obviously, Hannah Depp,

host it.

I just do the,

I'm doing the unpacked version of it.

But like,

I cannot wait.

You're going to absolutely

love it.

And you know,

something happened,

which I was,

I was like,

oh, no, I didn't mean,

Jemma Collins came up to me.

And she went,

how's Pete?

Did she?

Yeah.

And I went,

oh, he's really good.

She went,

I've always liked Pete.

Okay, too.

And she comes up to me.

She's like,

how are you, Sam?

I'm really, really well.

Thank you.

I'm very excited to watch

you want to have a celeb.

She looks great in the sizzle.

Oh, fuck, here we go.

She goes,

hate your barnit.

She went,

I don't know what you're doing

with this dark hair thing.

You need to go back blonde

because whatever's going on now,

it's just not it.

And I literally went,

fuck,

I actually think I might go back blonde

because of that,

because of Jemma Collins.

Well, I don't know.

I was just,

I was taking her back.

I'm super excited for this.

I first all love the show.

Love unpacked.

It's so fun.

What are you going to be doing

on unpacked them?

So basically doing a,

if you've ever watched

Trader's Uncloped,

is pretty much like identical to that.

We basically get the X-Campnates on

to talk about the time of the show.

We get like a superfan on who comes on

and we just talk about

everything that happened really.

And we literally do it week,

every single day of the week,

as long as the show's on.

And then for the,

for the final,

this is fun.

They basically crown

the king or legend or king or queen or whatever.

On a live show,

on ITV.

So obviously it's pre-recorded.

Up until the final vote for the king.

So no one knows who's won yet.

So no one knows who won.

The, the actual winner will be voted

for live by the viewer.

Obviously you've already seen it,

have you?

Did you know it was in the final three?

No, I don't actually watch this.

I don't watch it until we do the unpacked show.

And, um,

but I get to host,

uh, unpacked live on ITV too.

Oh, wonderful.

It's the first show

that I've ever hosted live.

And you,

you, you're doing this with Kevin.

Kevin, yeah.

So she did unpacked with you the year before.

She's amazing.

Yeah.

Josh, she's fucking brilliant.

Um, but obviously Joel is like the host of unpacked

and, and, and me and Kevin would sit on the sofa

and, and, and obviously we were part of it.

It's like Meyer and after son of it, right?

But this one,

there's no Joel holding down the floor.

It's just me and Kevin.

So, uh, are you nervous about this?

Yeah.

But I'm fucking excited.

I've never hosted my own show before.

Ever.

Like not a live show in front.

In front of a live audience.

Like a studio audience.

Yeah.

Is there 16,000 of them?

Mate, but not be fine.

Well, exactly.

But I mean, I am a man.

I'm nervous, but I'm really excited as well.

We get to do all the Q and all that kind of shit.

I imagine there's some great guests for that podcast.

Yeah.

I've only just found out,

as of today,

that one of the guests

for unpacked is our very own Peter James Witts.

He's coming on.

I can't believe they met.

How much did they beg you to come on?

Um, it was.

Can you do some a favor?

Shh.

Uh, to which my response was yes.

I've never seen the show.

Um, I'm not entirely sure what's going to be happening.

I didn't realize that I was going to have to spend a day watching the show

with you to then talk about it.

Yeah.

Um, so I didn't even watch it when I was out there.

So, listen, it's going to be a struggle.

But, you know, brothers and arms.

Yeah.

It's your fucking big TV gig.

I'll be there.

I will be there.

Uh, my money.

Again, listen, love Harry Redneck.

Jimmy Bullards, a good friend of mine.

Like Jimmy.

Jimmy's, yeah.

Jimmy's going to be doing it.

David Hay, I know as well.

Um, I had the rest of them.

It's a scholar one.

It's got them off at one in her season.

We love Scarlett.

Yeah, she's, she's, she's really excited for it to be fair.

So, yeah, it's going to be really amazing.

I love it.

I'm really, really glad to be doing it back in the saddle.

So, yeah, it'll be very fun.

I also saw another clip,

um, from your press day with that,

when they asked everyone

who their dream campmate would be.

Oh, yeah.

Stop saying me.

No, I won't.

Ever.

I think you'd be fucking amazing in it.

No.

I think I just, I just keep saying,

what it is, they'll keep inviting people,

keep saying no.

And then they'll,

the execs you can't say me like,

why do you keep saying Pete doesn't want to do it?

But yeah, I will always say.

I said on that,

and in that interview,

I was like, the,

he'll either win it or kill someone.

There's not like a bit in between.

And I'd see the love that sort of unpredictability.

Nothing like a safe bearer has.

You know, I haven't get dragged out by the cops.

Oil fucking win it by a landslide.

And I'm going with win it by a landslide.

Um, question time.

Da, da, da, question time.

We do love a little bit of question time.

And this one's about someone of Pete's favorite artists

on the planet.

Just love him.

Mr. Harry Styles,

his new album is called Kiss All The Time Disco.

Occasionally.

Um, and I don't know.

I feel like it's,

it's an interesting album name, Peter, isn't it?

You know, it's come out.

He's broken records already for the album coming out.

You know, what would your album name be?

It's all the time, tequila occasionally.

That's a fucking great name.

That is actually phenomenal.

That's brilliant.

What about if we released an album together?

What do you think ours would be called

if we were to do that together?

Oh God.

Fuck, I don't know.

Um, together,

if we did a joint album,

maybe we should do a joint album.

Podcast all the time.

Tiktok Occasionally.

Tiktok Occasionally.

I like that a lot.

Pod all the time.

Tiktok Occasionally.

Um, I, as a big fan of Harry Styles,

I mean, you mentioned it in the Alan Carp pod,

um, favorite song, Walk Man and Sugar.

What's some of your other top tunes?

What I do do is,

it doesn't seem to be every single fucking time.

Pete's got a guy who knows that I don't know

all the Harry Styles songs.

I just want to say it.

And because,

and I tell you why I'm saying this,

I know and I'm tell you why I'm saying this

because the next question is,

how do I go from being a people pleaser

to not caring what people think?

And I feel like,

you're fine.

I couldn't give a fuck about Harry Styles songs.

There we go, son.

No, I'd say that.

Then you get all the fucking people coming after you.

I just, I couldn't give a shit.

But this is why this is a perfect,

uh, question is,

because I feel like you,

you can be a people pleaser.

Mate Mattie, because you,

yeah, which is not a bad thing,

by the way,

because that makes you very,

uh, likable and,

and everyone loves that.

I, uh,

I don't mind it.

I'm the opposite of that.

But, you know what I mean?

So this is a good thing.

A Pete Wicks, a proper Pete Wicks opinion

on Harry Styles,

his albums or that shit.

I'd say,

you know what?

When he first started going solo,

I actually did quite,

I loved what Man and Sugar thought was great,

used to fucking listen to all the time in the car.

Couldn't name you any other songs to be fair,

but I reckon if I heard them,

I'd probably be like,

oh, that's Harry Styles.

And, uh,

and he's all right.

Yeah.

Not okay.

He's all right.

He's all right.

Harry Styles, you know,

seems like a nice bloke.

Yeah.

And I agree with that.

I mean, different.

But I sort of have to,

you can't have a divin',

but I have to be like,

I fucking love him.

Yeah.

And then, but this,

this is the people pleasing things.

And that's why this next question.

It feels great.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

There we go.

So this is a priming,

so the next question genuine is,

how do I go from being a people pleaser

to not caring what people think?

And there's a number of ways you can do that first

so you can get in our soul as a mate,

who will allow you to be free

and say what you like.

So if you are,

just to start that way.

But, but this is,

this is a really good thing,

because I think we can actually

probably logically answer this question,

based on the fact,

I don't really give that much of a fuck

and that's why a lot of people

think I'm a fucking prick.

But you can be a people

which is way of a lot.

It's quite a lot.

It's quite a lot.

It's not where I thought we were going.

No, but it is,

because I have to keep tensing my soul

and being like,

yeah, no, I love it.

So this person is,

how do they go from that?

I mean, but you've had recently

some rents on the pod,

where you have,

you have come away from people pleasing

and you're finding your voice.

Yeah.

How have you done that?

Oh, I've done that.

Is it, is it an age thing?

I think it is.

I genuinely believe that

when you get to a certain age,

you start just being like,

you know what?

Like, I know,

you start knowing who you are

and you're just like,

I just,

I know what I like.

I know what I don't like.

I don't want to be rude to anyone.

Like,

especially being in this industry,

I feel like you have to have an opinion on things.

You actually don't give a fuck about.

Yeah.

To be honest with you.

And, um,

but, but yeah,

I think as you get older,

you just, you stop caring.

You never really cared,

though,

maybe you've had quite a good run of not caring.

Well, I think that,

like, obviously,

Sam and I do different kind of jobs

and, um,

I don't often get booked for opinions,

um,

based on the fact that the gem was sponsored.

Yeah.

I mean, different.

Um, not great for a fucking show, is it?

Don't mean with someone who goes,

um,

where is you get booked for a lot of opinions?

If you look at Love Island and,

and, uh,

like, I'm a celeb and all them sort of things,

where it's like,

thumbs,

so all them sort of thumbs.

Um, you know,

I get really into things.

So, like, when I do, like, something,

you're like,

the fixate.

I'm like,

the fixate.

For example, Love Island a few years ago,

I was fucking deep in,

because I just loved it.

We had, we had locked down,

obviously,

so it's like,

just binge watching it.

And then, like,

the jungle,

always been the most fun.

Things I love,

I love.

But then, like,

there's other things I just cannot get into.

Oh, God,

I think that sort of turned me on a little bit there.

That was love.

Oh,

of course, son.

Um,

yeah, no, I didn't get to listen.

It's tough.

People pleasing is actually a really nice trait.

I'm going to be honest with you,

as much as I can,

it's a nice thing to do,

because you want to make people happy.

You know,

in the same respect sometimes,

by making other people happy,

you make yourself unhappy,

because you're not being true to yourself.

Well, yeah.

You can get tired.

So, really,

my advice being our soul.

Yeah.

Be that friend.

There's always a friend in the friend group there,

just like,

they'll give you the honest answer.

Like, you know,

whether you want it or not.

I mean, I've like,

dated people for,

and I've been gone out to paint,

and I've already seen peace out,

not for you.

And I'm like,

fuck, I caught up in her off.

You're that simple.

I think there's also,

this is a thing about opinions as well.

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Put your opinion in no matter what,

it makes you an asshole.

If someone asks you,

you've got to give it an honest.

Give it to him.

Got to give it an honest.

That is one of the things

when people are like,

well listen,

I'm not yet a fucking plaser.

Just say nothing then.

You don't need to say anything.

Unless someone specifically goes,

what do you think?

I need to know what you think.

Then I'll say what I think.

But if someone's having a conversation

about saying,

I don't care.

I'm like,

you're just doing that for the sake of doing it.

And then you are a bit of a prick.

Because you know,

I hate people who go,

I'm just giving my opinion.

I'm just an open book.

But what you see is what you get.

I'm just telling you what I think.

But I didn't ask you.

Yeah, you know,

God, I fucking hate people.

Because that's just entering yourself

into something for absolutely no reason.

There's always somebody

who enters a reality show,

isn't there, who's like that,

who goes like,

no, I just say it how it is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Listen, I'm not yet.

I'm just telling you,

it's people that like stir the pot a bit.

Yeah.

Well, my opinion really is this,

I didn't fucking off.

No one gives a fuck.

If you ask someone's opinion,

you don't like it.

Unless you're unfuckingful.

Don't ask.

I don't ask opinions.

Yeah.

There you go.

Right, question that.

Really good question.

This is a thinking man's question,

this one.

I'm going to say so.

Just take him and read it first

and I'm going to read it out

and just everybody will think about this.

I know my answer.

Okay, fine.

If you switch lives

with someone in the team for a day,

who are you choosing and why?

Okay.

Piper.

Right.

100%.

Why would you pick Piper Anne?

Because Piper Anne,

to me,

has one of the most interesting,

select group of friends

that I've ever met in my life.

I'd just buy them.

They all throw up.

Yeah, I mean, they do.

But that's why I would love.

I like the gossip

that Piper had with her friends.

Right.

It's just absolutely phenomenal.

And Piper's like entered this new life

that she's got,

where like she's like,

half podcast exec,

half friends to the star.

She was like,

this is a Samuili,

she's fucking love Ireland party

a couple days ago.

Hell yeah.

She was like,

she was out on a Thursday night.

And I was like,

no, I met her the next day.

I was like,

where the fuck have you been?

She was like,

just a Samuili,

she's sort of like,

kind of love Ireland,

sort of like,

congratulatory party.

I was like,

how the fuck are you getting invited to that?

The sort of,

the new life she's got.

She's getting three meals at sheesh.

I just think it's a nice balance.

It's been a while, actually.

Oh, you're putting a request.

Oh, good.

I like that.

It's a good answer.

Yeah.

It's a nice,

good answer.

Nice.

And obviously,

it would be interesting

for you to work out how to

maneuver ahead that big.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

Through doors and stuff,

what angles do you have to?

You know what I mean?

Getting in cars,

like, fuck, what?

Some roots open.

I was being sad.

And the cone hates it.

Something rude about it.

And as Sam,

was actually quite nice.

Yeah.

No, I love you,

but I wouldn't want to be here.

And also, you get to spend a day with Jack.

That'd be nice.

Me and him,

we just watched so Jack's

pipers fell by the way.

He's well into World War II,

like I am.

You'd have to have sex with him.

Yeah, but you know what?

If it meant we could sit down

and watch War movies together, Johnny.

You're okay with it.

Oh.

Yeah, the way you do it.

Yeah, all right.

It's okay.

It's okay.

All right.

Nice.

I got to walk your dog,

pixie poodle,

fucking gun,

go to death and or something.

Nice.

All right, good.

Good, good, good.

Well, you've got it.

Who are you?

Do you want a serious answer?

Well, whatever answer you want to give us?

I would be you.

Oh.

Why?

For a number of reasons.

The first being,

I'd like to see what happens in there.

You don't.

I wake up screaming.

Oh.

It's tough for the new bird.

Yeah.

I wake up.

I wake up.

What's it about?

People said the night terrorism.

It's not a peach.

It's just so really on the grill on that.

She this morning,

this very morning.

She turned around and she went,

are you okay?

What do you mean?

She goes,

well, I came around to hug you,

like in the middle of the night.

And you were seeing it.

And you lit.

You were so wet.

She was, I thought you'd pissed yourself.

She was like, you weren't as you were just sweating.

I've now got the night sweats.

Sorry.

I must be so anxious at night that she's literally like,

mate, you were like, you were sodding through.

It's not for the pub.

Did you piss yourself?

No, I didn't.

I didn't piss myself out.

I just, I'm sweating at night a lot.

Sorry.

Anyway.

Well, apart from that,

I mean, that sort of takes it away from me wanting to be you

a little bit for the day.

I was starting to reconsider.

But no, I'd like to know what happens in there.

I would like to be as creative as you

and know how all of that happens.

But the second one, I also think people's response to you

must be a really lovely feeling.

So because you are one of the nicest guys in showbiz

and I think everyone,

I don't know anyone that doesn't like you.

So what I think of.

I mean, car for one.

Fuck it.

I'm out of my mouth when Alan tell me to shut the fuck up.

So yeah, I think that would,

I think that would be nice.

It would just be nice to see like what your reaction

because you love the reaction that people give you,

like fans and stuff like that.

And it's always,

because it's always so kind and,

do you know what I mean?

People are nice.

And I would like to get that reaction,

not the reaction I get.

What do you get?

Oh.

Do you know what I mean?

I love it.

I love it.

Yeah.

Someone tried to grab my crotch at crafts.

Do you know what I mean?

And I just thought,

this isn't the time of the place.

Like, I just thought,

it would be nice if someone just went,

you're a nice guy.

Yeah.

That would do.

So I mean, oh, you can bear, yeah.

I would just like that.

Yeah.

For people just to go,

you're a really nice guy.

Yeah.

And I think that would be,

well, it would be nice, but yeah.

I think you would do.

But that's very, very fucking lovely.

Thank you.

I know.

And then if you want the other answer to that,

Josh,

it'd be fucking great.

How can you sleep upside down?

No.

Well, this is exactly it.

And I'll tell you why.

Right.

This is a prime example.

That's part of the reason.

Yeah.

And it's because Josh is a man of many secrets.

Yeah.

And what I mean by that is,

you know, was in a band.

Like, even when we watched the O2 dock,

and it's like, yeah,

now I've done a reeners like this before.

Like, and you're like, what the fuck?

Yeah.

Like, he's had a man of many lives that I don't think we know about.

I feel like, Josh is a bit like Madonna.

He's reinvented himself so many times.

I'd like to know he's hidden past.

Yeah.

And I feel like that would be nice to know what's up there.

So that's the main reason.

And, and then also,

other than you,

to the rest of the team,

fucking boring.

No, there's over there.

You know,

she's worn her glasses.

Everything's lame.

There's shit A.

She's got a slight,

slightly little glasses on.

Slight.

Well, no, we can't.

Slighty little glasses.

And a G-Lay.

Not a slight.

No, I would, no.

We'll need a remire.

Oh, yes.

Never just sat in.

What would you do if you were Pippa for a day?

What would I do for Pippa?

If I was Pippa for a day,

actually, do you know what would be incredibly interesting?

Well.

Being Pippa for a day and having to deal with you and I's bosses

would be so interesting.

Oh, god.

Because can you imagine, though?

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Because I reckon there's points of the day with Pippa.

I was like, she must sit with the team

if we're not in the office and go, oh, that's one of them.

Fucking.

Do you know what I mean?

That the phone's going off and it's you and she's a fucksake.

Well, the phone's gone off.

It's me.

Oh, fucking hell.

It's going to go off.

I'm going to be jacked for a day,

because I'd love to see what Pippa's up with.

When she gets home, she puts the bag.

She goes, fuck.

She takes her windbreaker off.

Yeah.

All right.

She puts on her running gear.

She opens a smeg thread.

What the fuck was that?

Doesn't it?

Doesn't water the olive tree.

What is she?

You're not alone.

How do you imagine it?

Arriving home.

You're arriving home.

I reckon you literally get back and you do well.

Oh, I spent another day, Jack.

Let me tell you.

No, but she goes, actually, I guarantee.

I can guarantee what Pippa's done.

You go, oh, like that.

You made that weird noise you always used to make.

And then you walk your door and you go, fucking hell, Jack.

You're in a miserable mood.

Yeah.

And you get on your way.

Let me tell you who else is on the list today, Jack.

Yeah.

I sometimes wonder, like, you know, if we're ever in a video,

you know when some people say we're in a simulation.

And you're like, I do sometimes just think,

fucking, whoever's picked me as a character, like do better.

You know, if we're like playing GTF.

What the fuck are you talking about?

I just sometimes think like, do you know what?

I just do better.

What whoever's created.

Yeah.

Because loads of people think we're in a fucking simulation.

That's really so.

What?

Well, sorry.

Am I missing the point here?

What's the fucking cheat codes in or something?

What for you?

Yeah.

What is in for you, living your life?

What are you talking about?

I understand.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

People say we're in a game.

What's?

There's someone's playing a game and we're all in a game.

There's basically a massive conspiracy theory that,

and this is actually like scientists believe this piece.

They think that we are in a simulation.

Oh, I don't know.

No, no, no.

So a scientist believes they're some prick somewhere

who's controlling me for joystick.

But we're in a game exactly, mates.

So people say someone's made me do that.

Yeah, it's the same thing.

Someone's going middle finger bat and middle finger bat.

So someone's, someone's, someone's basically in the world

that is being created like a GTA,

but in a lot more of a techie time.

Well, and someone's picked our characters and gone,

I'll tell you what, I'm going to live on the world,

on the earth as them,

and I'm going to go through, kill me.

And they choose your little outfits every day.

They'll be like, oh, we'll pop him in his cowboys today.

And I just sometimes sit there and go, fuck it.

Like, imagine watching me have a wank.

Like, do you know what I mean?

Well, but they wouldn't be watching.

They'd be the ones doing it.

They'd be double tapping Annie.

How weird is that?

It's like watching, it's like doing the sins

and they're like, oh, they're getting raunchy in bed.

But they make, this is a genuine thing

where people genuinely believe

that we're in a simulation.

Okay.

How will they stand up and cool, then?

If I go out and punch someone in the head

and then go, it won't make, it's whoever's controlling me.

Yeah, well, exactly.

Dude, that, but genuinely, that is a thing.

So like, if someone's looking at us now

and they're literally like, I'm controlling you.

I sometimes look up and go, put a cheat code in.

Do you know what I mean?

Let me, like, fly.

Or some people think this is a TV reality show,

like Truman show.

But where they've like, there's aliens

who are just watching everything do.

So we could be the stars.

It's like, hold on.

It's a galactic.

We've gone from a real life sims

that weren't there were aliens.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, we're like the stars

have an intergalactic reality show.

And like, imagine if like we...

So the whole world is big brother.

Yeah.

And they're like, just rooting for like, Hannah.

Do you know what I mean?

And then it's like, come on out of here.

Come on out of here.

You've got this.

Listen, whoever's what they must fucking hate me then,

because my life's a fucking mess.

Well, there's this thing though,

because we all have that innate feeling

that we're the main characters

obviously in our own story, right?

Interesting.

But do you believe that?

Sometimes.

If I'm ever having a shit,

sometimes sit them and I go, God,

imagine if like a million billions of aliens were...

So which question, sorry.

I'm so confused by this whole thing.

What question are you asking?

Does he believe he's the main character?

Or does he believe that there's a conspiracy theory

where he's being controlled by an alien?

Does he believe he's being like watched on Telly

or controlled by other beings?

Well, he is. He's got an ITV live show.

And he reckons he is.

So, so hold on.

So now, of course, like, conception now.

So he's being watched on Telly by aliens

but appearing on Telly for the humans

and the other people.

It's a massive episode for them,

because we're like cracking it right now.

They're looking at that.

God, so this is the start of the tune show

when he starts noticing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They'll be like, shit, they're figuring it out.

Yeah, they're getting it.

But this is like some probably premiere

that's been like advertised for weeks.

Yeah, so if you're watching, please make sure you know what I mean.

And it's incredible because obviously,

this is also going to signal the end of this podcast

because everyone has stopped listening there.

So Pete, next time.

It was fun while it lasted.

Next time you're having a dump,

just think how many people are watching?

What a lovely episode has been.

Thank you so much for tuning in to this bonus episode

of me, Sam Thompson and Peter James Jonathan Joseph Wix.

At Staying Relevant, we adore you.

Make my life more fun.

Yes, mate.

Did this, what I mean, though?

So my thing's I want to do.

I sometimes love to go on safari.

I'll take safari.

You don't control me, buddy.

I would love to go safari with you.

Let me go.

I would love to go safari with you.

So lottery.

I actually think I'm going to win the lottery one day.

Yeah, because I mean, if there's a man that needs it,

make sure you rate review, follow us on socials

at Staying Relevant podcast.

Keep your fingers crossed for Sam's lottery win

and we'll be back on Monday with a main episode,

a very special main episode,

because Mr. Robert Samuel Robert DeCorsi Thompson

is going to be filming an unpack.

So he's away.

So I have got an incredible co-host

who I think could be my spirit animal.

Yeah.

That's all I'm saying.

I can't just say no to that.

I'm very sorry.

I've actually left Peter in the lurch twice now

that he's had to go and deal with.

So I really appreciate that.

But do you know what?

It's okay because we support you

and we support your career.

I feel like most people comment being like,

thank God he's gone.

No, they don't.

Whenever you come back, it's thank God he's back.

This has been a Staying Relevant production.

There's one place for the newest drops in wellness and performance

and the biggest sale of the year.

It's the drop by GNC,

curating the best of what's new, handpicked by the pros

who know what works.

And right now, get it all by one, get one 50% off

during the semi-annual live-well sale

from crushing workouts to leveling up to nutrition

and everything in between, get the best deals

on the latest innovations.

All the newness is all on sale right now

during the live-well sale on the drop by GNC.

Hello, relevanters!

We wanted to let you know

that you can hear exclusive bonus episodes

of Staying Relevant every month on Amazon Music.

We are going to be playing Snog Mary Avoid,

one of our favourite games, all with fictional characters.

So prepare yourself for Sam to snog Woody from Toy Story

and for me to marry Poker Hunters.

And possibly the Genie from Aladdin.

We don't know yet.

We're sort of like undecided on that one.

That's an avoid for me, that one.

Genie?

I don't know.

I quite like it.

Listen to monthly bonus episodes exclusively on Amazon Music

and enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music

for all episodes of Staying Relevant

on your Prime Membership.