Self Care, Unspoken Rules & The Things Nobody Ever Explained to You

Bill got a Reiki session before recording and he feels realigned. Dan gets acupuncture for his migraines. Neither of their fathers would understand any of this. That is actually the point. Bill and Dan open with something that gets said a lot in therapy but never really gets unpacked: self care. Where they came from, you did not do self care. You smoked a cigarette, drank a beer, and kept going. The Irish did not process. The Italians hugged everybody but also did not process. You just plowed through. Bill's take is that men have always done self care. They just call it something else. Yard work is self care. Mowing the lawn alone with your headphones on watching the rows stack up. Sitting in the car in your driveway in silence before you go inside. A golf league. A bar with buddies. Fantasy football. Ball breaking. All of it. Men have been doing self care forever. They just refuse to use the word.

Then they get into the unspoken rules. The ones nobody teaches you, nobody writes down, but everybody knows. The urinal rule. The courtesy wave. Never take the last thing you did not buy. One more at a bar never means one more. Do not order food when nobody else is eating. Do not block the aisle with your cart. Put your cart back. Know your order before you get to the counter. Do not like someone's photo from 2016. If you find yourself in a line, you do not need to be in their back pocket. 
Dan gets himself in trouble with the pregnant parking spots. Bill does not fully endorse him but does not fully save him either.

The conversation goes into embarrassment, how we used to take things to our grave and now we put a filter and a song on them and post them, the death of blue laws, going to Walmart in pajamas, and a tangent about 1984 being the greatest year in music and sports history. Bird. Magic. Thriller. Springsteen. Prince. Huey Lewis. All in the same year. Bill can make a case for this. Then there are the radio stories. A comedy show they did without asking permission, made fifteen hundred dollars, got caught, and were immediately capped at five hundred each. The intern in the motorized car that died under the viaduct. Zach with the popsicle. The Pope costume in front of the Jesuit high school. The guy with Ebola who got arrested. Dan getting hit with paintballs by a meteorologist and hoisted into a crane with his blood pressure at 180. Mike the Dad. His voicemail. Still saved on Dan's phone twelve years later. 


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