Seth MacFarlane + Howie Mandel (Carolla Classics)

0:00Welcome to Corolla Classic, I'm your host Superfan, Giavonites, the podcast we play the best moments highlights and fans like to clip small 17 years of the Adam Corolla show. If you'd like to access the ad free archives of the Adam Corolla show, as well as the Adam Doctor Drew show, and the newer podcast, Be It Out. Make sure to check out Adam Corolla's substack, AdamCorolla.substack.com. Sign up, subscribe, and listen ad free. And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us at classicsadamcorolla.com. We have lots of requests for the Cale Sex Adam Corolla show and Love Wine. Two shows I'm remastering currently, both of which for over 20 years, lots and lots of work. If you'd like to hear any of those clips or want more information, check out my Patreon patreon.com slash Giavonite. Or, we're not able to air those clips in this feed. If you come find me over on Patreon, I'll be fine with what you need. Now onto the clips. Come and first we have Adam Corolla show, 1519. This is featuring Dr Drew, Joe Koi, Gina Grad and Brian Bishop, live on stage, and 2015.

1:05Check it out. Hello, and welcome to Pluto Fo. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto TV. We're all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long. Catch anchor man, the legend of Ron Burgundy. Fantastic. The Matrix trilogy. Welcome to the real world. Mean Girls. Side up. I'm the key in the world. And so much more. For showtime, press nothing. They're free 24-7. That is so fast. On Pluto TV, stream now. Pay never. You can tell things are boring by the silence. You don't have to. I notice they don't have to say it's boring. They're on stage holding a microphone and we're not hearing anything. I get it. I get it. That thus will draw the conclusion of bored. Good. All right. Let's do one more. Okay. Holly Carso has a question from West Covina. Holly Carso. Oh, there you are. There you are. There you are. Okay. Listen. Is it different than a... If you can't do Stacey Oakley, I'll take a Holly Carso.

2:08Yeah. Yeah. Like I said, Gertrude Bort, we need to see a picture. Stacey Oakley, no picture. Holly Carso. Holly Carso. Oh, thank you word for it. There's a couple of follow-up questions. Yeah. There's like two follow-ups, something, you know, there's a cup size. Should we know anybody who knows her? But we're still in. We're still in. What celebrity does she look like? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right. She wants to know, she got married in August. You paid $146 for her dress. Sweet. Nice. Here I am. How much weight can she gain per year? Guys, the limit. Well, true, I've said... I forget your formula, but go ahead. The formula is... Well, first thing I'm trying to avoid is the $3,600 on the dress that will never be worn again. Right. So that's the first thing I'm attempting to avoid. Yes. By the way, you know what the number one argument to the $3,600 dress never going to be worn again?

3:13One day our daughter is going to walk... Oh, good. It gets worn twice. Yeah. Over the span of 41 years. Wow. What a bargain. I'm quitting my job, baby. Woo! We're on Easy Street. We're moving to Maui. What's that lake in Italy that... Como. Like Como. And Clooney's got... I'm buying the lake kicking his ass off, man. This is going to be awesome. Number... So, so a couple things. First off... Here's how I know this isn't going to happen because you are not wearing your mom's dress. Right. And your mom fed the same line of bullshit to your dad in 1968. Yes. So that's much we know. Number two, nobody wants to wear the cheese encrusted out of style. Well, let's face it. No one wants to wear the cheese laden way out of date. Wedding dress that smells of fucking mothballs and failure.

4:14That's your now-deforced mom. War back in the 60s, right? Yeah, absolutely. All right. So the rule, because I'm feeling generous, is a thousand dollars is what you can spend on a wedding dress. Okay. If you would like to exceed the thousand dollar limit, you may, but for each hundred dollars you go above it, you must fit your fat ass in it for one year. For each hundred dollars one year. Wanna go 1500? Five years. You gotta fit into that dress. I'll give you a pregnant with triplets. We're getting in there. I say it's the only time a woman would bulk up for the wedding. She'd really be packing on the carbs. We'd wake up like two nights before the wedding. She'd be making a peanut butter and banana smoothie and the kitchen at like 3am. You'd be like, sweetie, what are you doing? I'm not going to fit into my dress. I'm trying to stretch it out.

5:14I got expensive dress here. Yeah, so what, 186 on that? 147. 146. 146 on the dress. Nice. She can make up nice stuff here. Do you think, can I ask this? Let's be goddamn honest. Uh-oh. Could you tell the difference between the hundred and forty six dollar dress and the forty six hundred dollar dress when you're standing? Well, what word is six implies like what thrift a second hand vintage kind of thing? Dead new. Not jewel encrusted, something simple and tasteful. But simple and tasteful. Yeah, what's wrong with that? I mean, the other thing is, is if you are not an owner, if you're a renter, if you live in an apartment, I got like $7,500 bucks as the cap on the wedding. You can't be spending $31,000 on a fucking wedding. It's no sense. Well, we even don't make any sense. It's the one day to really not make sense.

6:15You know what I mean? Most days people are going, are you crazy? I'm driving. No, you sit over there. You don't make sense. But for that one day, in their life, they get to not make sense and get away with it. You know what I mean? Yeah. I went all the bridesmaids to wear a dress, pick it, pick it in a color that makes them look fat. And it's my day not to make sense. I'm going to spend a whole shitload of money on flowers that are going to throw away 20 minutes after this fucking thing ends. My day not to make sense. Then they get together with their other friends that don't make sense. And they explain to you why you're getting a deal. Like I'm like, the floor is $3,300. Hey, we're getting a deal. Really? What universe are we getting a deal for flowers for $32? I bought three pickup trucks. My first three pickup trucks didn't add up to $3,200. Hey, it's my day not to make sense. And my friend, Jody Sweating, they spent, they always see, they find some crazy friend with some eccentric rich hedge fund dad who decided to literally cut down a hedge and fund it.

7:24And spent, thank you, $85,000 on fucking dead plant life. And somehow I'm getting a deal now because you have a crazy rich eccentric friend. Yeah. By the way, this whole, this whole fucking scam where, well, the father of the bride, yeah, he lives in a trailer and he's out around Valencia. And he didn't contribute shit. And neither did anyone in my family. I paid for the whole goddamn thing. He planned on paying for your daughter's wedding? Oh, he liked it to be over here. Oh, that's it. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be screwed. Now, I should, if in the dad didn't pay for my wedding, so Lynette's dad did not pay for our wedding, I should get grandfathered in on a clause, right? Sorry, sweetie. It's a family tradition now. But daddy, you sold Mangria for $200 million. Yeah, life's a bitch. Yeah, I should now, right? I should get the kick back, right?

8:29Yeah, putting it right now. Yeah, Holly was the rest of your wedding, so, uh, economical. No, I was gonna say your day not to make sense, but didn't, didn't make sense. You did what? On the food. No, the place. Oh, the place. Yeah. The place. I thought she said, the place. The place. Yeah, maybe there's a pallet issue. The venue. And maybe it's not just a cuisine. What kind of venue was it? Ooh, like tall. Oh, beautiful. Now what's it? You rent a place out or did you know somebody or a rent a place? So you spend the money where you shouldn't spend it, right? The dress. And by the way, the dress is the present that never stops giving in that it needs to be put in storage. And now you have to pay for the store, especially sealed. It needs to be sealed and put somewhere with some sort of monthly payment so that no one can ever wear it again. By the way, the video. I used to say the video is an insane waste of time because you never dig out that video and watch that video.

9:34The only time you watch that video is after the divorce when you're sitting there with the bottle of Jack Daniel between your legs and your underpants and you're seeing if you can get your big toe onto the hunting rifle trigger. And where you are. That's the only time you watch that video. I've seen enough movies to know that wedding video never comes out until the cops been divorced. Yeah. Solitaire is here, drops. Right. Solitaire is here, drops. Or whatever. She bought it hang gliding accident. It's always never good. No. It's never good. It's better sweet at best. It's better sweet. All right. Let's do one more. Dr. Thru's got to hit the road. Really? Pretty centrient. Oh, I'm going to do it. Where's Fernando Salda of Azusa? Azusa, yeah. Okay. Fernando. So Adam. Yeah. Hold on, Fernando. I will throw myself off the stage like Ann Margaret. If you do not know the Abbasov.

10:37I'm going to say that Ann Margaret fell off a stage in Vegas. 1972. I could have been 1977. You don't know. You're more timely references. Find the story, Gary. Throw me right. I will. You know the song Fernando by Abba, right? Okay. Thank Christ. Because when people have a song with their name in it and they've never heard of it, it drives me insane. All right. All right. His question. So Adam. Yes. You shower with only hot water and I have started taking your advice. Oh, jeez. But you can man it. But how hot does the shower need to be? Are we talking being able to soak your cock and balls for 30 seconds at a time? Because when I turn up the heat, I got to turn it down real quick. Please help. Resolvation points. Wow. Can I say this? Uh-oh. Why does the hot water, it either your house or, and we're going to get it. Or, and we're going to get back this fucking dish washing thing.

11:38Oh, Jesus. The hot water at restaurants. If we're going to wash your hands at a restaurant and your fucking skin comes off because. Or, or it's cold. One of the others. You need a setting. Yeah. No, when you turn the hot, it's just two. When you go for the hot, it is way too fucking hot. And I have the same thing at my house, which is way hotter than I need it to be. I don't know why. There's something about dialing it in that makes you feel magical, like cracking a save. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Steathoscope up to the safe. Yeah, yeah. He's one of the best shower men in the business. He's one of the best second story shower guys in the business. He's not a wheel man. He's a shower man. Yeah. Yeah, his backpack is so sensitive that he can. A backpack. Yeah. I, again, just the hot water, just the, just the hands through the hair, just the 30 second rinse is all I, all I got.

12:39But I will say that a little that Dr. Fuggley's peppermint soap on the doctor. Oh, Dr. Bronner. Yeah. You're actually a real soap. How about that? Well, people bring soap into my home. I see. I see. But once in a while when I'm napping or out of town, it makes it in, you know, it's smuggled into the shower. But you can do 10 minutes on dishwasher's because your dishwasher bought the farm. My dishwasher is dead. And it's awesome because I hate fucking dishwasher. She was like, what? It's awesome because every night I sit there and I watch my nanny or my wife, mostly my nanny, stand over the same. And over the sink with a sponge on a plate with hot water coming out of the soap. And often soap, doing the thing, rinsing it off. And then instead of the move where she puts it on the rack to the left, she bends over and fills the machine and then fires the thing up. And it feels like that thing runs for two hours and basically could power the continent of Africa.

13:45Or the fucking two hours of the thing is chugging and pumping and pul- And then at a certain point, she opens it and the plume of steam comes out and fucks her hair up. And then there's always a little controversy too. Are these clean? I can't tell. Have they spent one? Better be safe. Put them in for another one. He's like, right again. Right again. Here's why I can't tell if they're dirty or clean. They're fucking clean because you wash them in the sink. Then they put them in and then they have to bend over and unload the machine two hours later. And I'm like, there was a point in this dance of the tards where you were standing over a sink with hot water running upon the plate and a sponge where if you'd given an extra 1.7 seconds, you could have just put it over here that she'll not do. That she'll not do. No. No. Why don't you just take the kids, throw a fucking throw cannonball in their underpants and toss them in the pool because that's what you're saying.

14:46And I'm like, I don't know why we're doing this. Why are we doing this? Well, here's some goodness. The washing machine broke. Yes. And as we've safely established, the only time anything around the house ever gets fixed is when law fucking does it. And guess which fucking law doesn't want this piece of shit box that steals my energy and my water and my soul. Guess who doesn't want that thing fixed? Adam. Adam. Adam. That's right. Me. So I ain't doing shit about it. And that means it will never get done because as we've established, I have to do everything. It's going to be awesome. What if a new dishwasher turns up? I'm tickled pink. It won't. What just what if that was a club? I don't want to say this because it's part of my plan. I don't want to let that to hear it. But I will. I will if there's any talk about, hey, when is that dishwasher?

15:50I'll do the, I'm looking at a couple on Amazon. I'll get back to you. I just bought myself six months. I just bought six months. You understand? Yeah. Yeah. Now, I'm already a week in and they're just putting them on the rack. Like a fucking told them to do my whole life. So now I have a little muscle memory going and a history. And I think we can just fucking ride this one out. Did the Corolla household have a dishwasher? I could have it. We used it a free standing one. You push around the kitchen. My mom had the one on the forecasters. My kitchen was as big as my fucking fist growing up, growing up my house. I just told you hold on. You have a tough childhood? I don't know. I don't talk about it. I don't like to complain. I don't like to complain. I don't like to verbalize it. My childhood. But my house that I grew up in in North Hollywood has now been sold and sold to a person

16:52who is going to bulldoze it so that they can build a real house in its place. That's how bad that house is. I'm going to get pictures of before it goes down. I got pictures of it. All right, okay. They much to take a picture of. It's 900 square feet of shit. I want to see your step dad's cool tool chips chained to the wall. I want to see those pictures like that. When I moved out, my room was turned into a storage closet. Which it was to begin with. And when my sister moved out, her room was turned into a storage closet. They both were turned into a storage. It's not offices, not guest rooms. Storage for what? Junk that will never see the light of day. But can't imagine your parents accumulating a lot of things. My step dad has a couple of toolboxes. And when they go to Costco, they buy a few cases of whatever is sparkling cider or something. And throw it in there. That's what my room is being. Toolbox got a monkey ranch, couple of screwdriver. It's a pantry. Maybe a ratchet set or something.

17:53And he chains it. He chains it. He chains it. Oh my god. All right. Okay. Got damage room. I'm going to cry. Can't see you crying. Okay. Tuna. Is it tuna? There's a four by four post that is in my sister's former room. Because my grandfather built her a loft bed. Because there's not enough room. The footprint of the room is not large enough to put a small bed in. Right. So he put it above ground. So my sister could have a dresser in there. And my step dad takes his toolbox with his $40 worth of shitty tools in it and chains it to the post. Now he always says it's so somebody breaks in and reach $40 worth of shitty tools. But I always assumed it was to keep me away from the tools. But anyway, they're quirky. They're quirky groups. They sleep at the bed room. It's like a rom-com. Yeah. Yeah. My mom's kitchen was much smaller than the stage and not well laid out at all.

18:57But in it was the mobile dishwasher on the forecasters that had to be pushed to the sink and then hooked up to the sink via the retractable hose that was in the back of it. And it was just like if you took a kitchen that was in a small boat and somebody just put a coffin in it. Like that's how much sense it made to wash the dishes except for she never fucking cooked. Other than that, it was a great idea. Did she wash her bongs in there or anything? She didn't use out dare you. I cherish that woman. How dare you attack her? Wow. Wow. I'm smoked a dooby and put it in what's called a stone. I don't know. A stone is like somebody was making a Swedish meatball of clay. That's squishing it. And squished it with their two fingers right at the end. But first they poked a hole in it so they could put a dooby in one end of it.

19:59It's smoke it through the stove? Yes. It's a... Oh, that's one of the dishes right. Oh, that's right. Yeah. There could be no more intrusive device in these very small kitchen. Is this the kitchen? No, the kitchen was smaller than this kitchen and we did not do still photography. Right. It's a surprise. Yeah, it's in lieu of using a roach clip. You use a stone. Okay, I heard it. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Cool, cool, cool. It's the equipment in the 70s. Yes. All right. So, we have the news. We have Joe Koi. We have Dr. Drew. One true one time. Is it. Jeez, you... You got to go. Get it all out. All right. Hey, I'm going to be a plug. Dr. Drew, everybody. Yeah, everybody. The podcast, the Adam and Dr. Drew show new episodes Thursday and Sunday on iTunes.

20:59And the TV show Dr. Drew on call, everybody. He's dreamy and that's Monday through Thursday, 9 p.m. Eastern on HLN website, Dr. Drew.com. All right. Joe Koi is going to join us at some point, but until he does, I think we can jump off with the news. Shall we do that, Gina Graham? The Ancerole Show. Your source for the news that matters. Or random stories that piss Adam off. I'm going to start on a little bit of a down note because it was a big occurrence today. The driver of a truck accused of causing a train derailment Tuesday morning that injured nearly 30 people for critically was arrested on a felony hit and run charge. The train hit a vehicle. It was a truck and a trailer on the tracks and caused many of the cars. I think all of them actually did top over. And one was in the street. I think there's in 2015 or just in general, there's an in-nord and amount of, well, my car was just on these train tracks.

22:05I don't feel like I should have figured it out. Ever in a situation where it's like, well, the arm wasn't functioning. Yeah, but your right footwork didn't it? Don't you feel like you're four feet away from a birding any catastrophe whatsoever? Why is there so much? Well, the car was stuck or we were trying to beat the... Why is there so much of that? Train tracks are not posed that big of a problem at this point. And this one was actually worse. Instead of going over it, I think he thought it was a road and went parallel. Took a left on the train track. Oh, so he's literally... Oh, man. And it was dark too. Dark, it was 55 miles away. And trains just have that single light. So he's like, oh, there's some pussy on his head. Well, Pat wants to play chicken. We'll see everybody. I hope you got more than 80 C's in that Vespa. Yeah. Because I'm about to run over your ass. It's a Ford F-250. Yeah. King Cab, all right? Not a 150. I'm coming right at you, boy. Yeah. This, uh, this scooter has a cow catcher.

23:06Yeah. This here's a shitty stretch of road. And they actually found the guy wandering two miles from the crash. Just kind of what the fuck just happened. Yeah. Of the guy who abandoned this. Yes. Yeah, they abandoned. Yeah. Why abandoned? The time it takes to abandon something. Isn't that the time it takes to turn left? It's ever a situation where you just like you're at an intersection or you're anywhere or you see a guy like you're on the freeway. It happened to me. I was driving to work today. I was on the freeway and another guy went 30-far. Ford started to merge into my car. I didn't abandon the car. I rolled down the passenger window and just do a shoulder roll. I steered a little bit the other direction. That's avoided. The guy who didn't see me. But I never just jumped out of the sunroof. So you're questioning the logic of the guy who turned left and drove down a train track? I am questioning this. Yeah, I may have been a little bit out of it. But I am saying, you know, this is like, you know, it's not true lies.

24:11And you're not fucking Jamie Lee Curtis. And we're not on a fucking bridge in Florida. Take that shit, bitch. Slightly more timely. It's a much slightly more timely. We're getting to this century. Yes. All right. All right. Sad. Did you guys see there was a car chase yesterday out here? Did you guys see that story on the news? What drives me fucking nuts is these things. They go, it started 90 minutes ago in Northridge. And now they're in, I don't know, fucking Redlands or something. Why is the protocol just to follow slowly? Well, why is it that? I don't know because at a certain point, it's like they got the helicopter on the guy. And it's like, oh, he's running some traffic. Oh, he's he's tripping over the lane. He's driving an oncoming traffic. And you're like, how fucking pissed would you be if 90 minutes ago, some junkie got into his pickup truck in Northridge. And it's an hour and a half later and you're in fucking Redlands with your kid.

25:11And oh, head on collision. Like fucking do something. What's it cops? It's not the cops fault. It's a fucking attorneys fault because if the guy shot out the tires, the guy got the guy would fucking sue for damages and the state would have to ward him or the city or whatever it is. The cops can't do anything but follow the guy, which is not helping the person he's going to run over. I had a, I was at home when I lived up Beachwood Canyon. Beachwood Canyon goes up to the Hollywood side. And Beachwood Canyon and Hollywood land area as it's called is there's one way in and there's one way out. And I was in my house and I think Ray or one of my jack-off buddies called him and was like, hey, turn on the news. There's a, there's a high speed chase coming right up your street. And I watched a helicopter, I was watching the news. Guy walks, you know, guy drives right up Beachwood Canyon, turns onto my street. I go outside, I see him drive by my house and I think to myself, well, there's only one way out of this.

26:17It's coming back down West Shire Drive. West Shire Drive is a loop. The way you got in. Yeah, the way you got in. Oh, no, there's an exit that goes back to Beachwood. But it just makes a big loop. It's fucking nothing. Joe Koi, love you buddy. It's like a, well, the, Joe Koi, the cops aren't stupid. We're talking about car chase protocol. There was a big one yesterday. And what they're going to do, Joey Koi, they're going to block off the bottom of Beachwood Canyon. And then this thing's going to be over. Oh, no, looped around, went down Beachwood, got on the 101. Drove off to the one, what stayed on the 101. Drove to Northridge, got off on like Devonshire or something. Two hours later, the guy was out of his truck and running through like a senior living home. And I'm thinking, what is the plan? This guy dies a fucking old age. Or just like, he's going to wait it out. He's got to stop eventually. He's going to need to hydrate.

27:19He's going to need to rehydrate. He's going to get peckish. And that's when we make our move. Thanks cops. Let me tell you who else can follow a guy. Me. I don't have a gun. I don't have a squad car. I don't have a baton. I can follow the fucking guy. What do we fuck we need you for? We're just running, following the way he runs out of gas. Jesus Christ. So Gary, whatever happened, I hate to say this, Joey Koi. Asian drivers? Oh, no. Because that chase had been over. I'm like 10 seconds. Why am I even trying to outrun anybody? Yeah, no. They don't try to. Asians in general don't try to elude. Catch me if you can, cops. Yeah. Oh, shit. I've been caught. They don't, they do not, they do not attempt to elude the cops. You know what I'm saying? You know? Like when the cops pull the Asians over, it's like, you realize how fast you're going? I can't even see the match. Yeah. You were a pole diober because you were doing 18 and a 55.

28:24Well then I'll slow down officer. No, no, no, you're so sorry. No, no, you're missing. I just made this car. All right. You may be missing my point. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 55 is a speed that we've got. Wow. What are you driving? A rocket? 55, you know, a Prius can easily do 55. I went, um, whenever I ever hit that speed before. Well, that is the lesson going to the future. I have not seen that Michael J. Fox movie speaker. Very good. Are you a fan of the Dolorian? I loved Aurora. Dolorian? Darar. Darar. Darar. Dolorian. It's a Dolorian. Yes. Very good car. The Dolorian. That's in furious. Yeah. Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah. It's made of stainless steel. Ah, stainless steel. Yeah.

29:24It's a Dolorian stainless steel car. It's a Dolorian stainless steel car. Absolutely. Okay. Absolutely. Maybe we probably digress a little bit. Any way. Yeah. We digress. Can you say digress? Digress. Okay. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. I agree. All right. All right. Let's start that grass. All right. The point is that speed limit. The speed limit. Aha. Posted speed limit. Yes. 55. Oh my God. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Oh. No. No. That's. Wow. No. You're probably missing. For me. You're missing. Too fast for you. Yeah. No. I think you're missing. Hold on, everybody. You're maybe missing my point. emphasis on the wrong silver. Yes, hey, yeah. Okay, you know the red rocker, Sammy Hagar? Oh, yes. Sammy Hagar? Sammy Hagar. Yeah, okay. Van Heron. Right, Van Heron. Her?

30:24Hair? Her? Right, Van Heron. Van Heron. Oh, hey, on, right. Yeah. Before that, he was on his own. Okay, Solo. Oh. He had a song called, I can't drive 55. Neither can I. Yeah, no. That's neither cannot. He knows something we all know. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, he wasn't. He was fast. He's telling everyone to slow down. No, he was slowed down. No, that was. I can't drive 55. No, he's the only one. He's the only one. So much safer. So much safer. The gist of Sammy's song was that 55 was too slow for him. Oh. Yeah, see 55 saves lives. Makes no sense. Yeah, so anyway. He can't drive 55. Yeah, he can't because he 18. No, no, he, okay. No, I shouldn't have used the song as a, okay.

31:26Look at all the call behind me. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. They're angry. Look at all of them. I know. Not one accident. No, because you give me ticket. No, I'm not. I was going to, you know what? I drive for 2.5 hour, 5,000 mile hour. I went, I hold on to say. Get out, cost out running. First off. I go 18. Look at this, like a parade behind me. Everyone, get to work safely. How long? You don't even have to wear seats here. I'm just going to have a 19-hour. I'm not an hour. How long would it, have you driven the San Diego? Yes, I have. How long did I take you? 14 days. She, 14 days. One of the best drives, 101. We'll love everything. Right, but the most people, it's a two or three hour drive. P-C-H. Oh, beautiful. Just drive one time. Have you ever driven to the 14 days? From the Bay Area? Yes, 18. Just a parade of cars. Have you? Yeah, that's one of the.

32:26R-N-1. R-N-1. R-N-1. The middle of it, drive by. R-N-1. R-N-1. You don't understand culturally. I don't believe what how we do things in America. The middle finger is not number one. It's the longest finger. And it says, I don't know what they point at me. And they say, yo, number one. I say, thank you, yo, number one, too. And I get it right back at them. It could be a sign of respect where you're from. But here, no. Are you Asian? Have you have any relatives in the Bay Area? Oh, lots of relative in the Bay Area. Ever driven to the Bay Area? Oh, yes, I have. Yes, I have. How many days? How many days to the Bay? Yeah. One month, maybe. Yeah, to see, it could be done on the grapevine in just six, seven hours through Bakersfield. No, no, that's all the way to San Francisco. From Bakersfield. Bakersfield.

33:26Through Bakersfield. Through Bakersfield? Through Bakersfield. Through Bakersfield. Through the half hour. Great fine to Bakersfield. Yeah, it's about two hours. OK? You're driving. What I'm saying is you're driving too slow. I pick up the pace. I don't understand. 55. I do no problem. Nobody gets in. Nobody gets in. I don't do anything. You need to be able to go in slow and slow. What do you drive in a school zone when school is in session? 45 miles per hour. What? I hate kids. And same. Thank you. Thank you very much. It's a great bungalow, sir. Woo! Joy! Man, thank you. Man, I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to write him that ticket. Pretty chatty. Pretty chatty, or God. He got it. He got it. I also knew quite a bit about Back to the Future, someone that never said it.

34:29You're a city. You're the Mocker Chase Fox, isn't it? All right. Shut up, motherfucker. Loud mouth, motherfucker. Easy brown sugar. Now, listen, I try to do a show, motherfucker. How did the car chase end? Because I am still going. I am so sad to report to you that the only way I knew there was a car chase yesterday in Southern California is because I'm a huge intellectual, I T-Vo TMZ. And you wanted the most frustrating thing in the world? TMZ is a half hour, and the news is before it, but when they have a car chase, they run it through. But I fast-forwarded all the way through to where it ended, but the guy was still in the car. And the smoke was coming out of the car, but we were done. Cliff anger. Cliff anger.

35:29So how did it end after 135 mile an hour chase and stand up, pick up drivers and chip? Oh, I think custody. What the fuck? Don't they usually go to the docks like in San Pedro or Long Beach and they just run out of road? This guy drove through a gated community, brazen, and dropped somebody off. No, he did it. So he was in a chase and then typed in a fucking code and get in. No, he punched through the gate. Pound. I was, pound. I found a fucking freak. No, he got a remember. Was it Kevin Hart? I didn't want to wrap on the fucking heart. The thing that was funny is the newscasters were like, he may have just dropped someone off at the house. You know what I'm like? I highly doubt this chap lives in a gated community.

36:32It's always late for work. It's not the work of a guy who lives in a gated community. But he found a gated community, dropped somebody off at the gated community, and then popped through the other side. By the way, once again, cops, when someone enters gated community, there's really, I mean, other than tunneling out, there's one gate, and there's another gate. Feel free to park the cruiser there, but no such luck. He had to keep going. He had to run and eventually bashed into another car. And then everyone just sat there. You know what I mean? Like the cops all got out of their cars, all drew the guns, all did the stuff. But everyone in all the other cars was just like, yeah, we're just going to see what happens here. And it's like, Dude, you hit it. Why do they draw the guns? I've never understood why you draw the fucking gun. What do you want to do? Well, I just don't understand. You draw it, and then they take off, and then they put it back in. Oh, yeah. So why the fuck did you take it out?

37:32It's no good, by the way. Don't even have a gun. People shoot. Yes, when the fucking shoot the asshole. Wow. When somebody drew a gun, it used to mean something. It mean a little fear would be in the heart of whoever's on the other end of the barrel. Now it's like, go ahead and shoot me. I'll see you're asked. Yeah. All right. So anyway, eventually got out of the car. But all the cars around him at the intersection just sat there and watched. Like nobody's fucking turned off and got out of there. Yes. They don't put down that strip anymore to pop the tire. No. I fucking missed that strip. Yeah, me too. By the way, that takes time. If they're not going to use that strip, I'll use it. I'll buy it off. I'll throw it in the trunk just in case. I'll use that bad boy. How would you use it? You know, then a multitude of ways, Brian. Thank you for asking. Well, please name one or two. Well, let's just say the wife was going off to buy something

38:33that was a little expensive. A new dishwasher. A new dishwasher. She's going, she just Googled Bosch. And she's now going off to buy dishwasher. And I got to throw the fucking strip out. Yeah. She's from a binder car. Yeah. She just can't escape premises. Or let's say it's one of those things where it's like, it's parent teacher conference night. And everyone's mandatory show up. And we got to sit down with Sonny's teacher. I'll just roll it out in the driveway. No, well, four flat tires. We can hardly go to this. You know what I'm saying? Four flat tires. I can only have one donut. Yeah, one donut. One donut. Yeah. Yeah, how you how you liken the Tesla, by the way? Fuck it. You love that car. Yeah. It's the best car in the world. Yeah. I love it. So fast. Yeah. No, so fast. And then I pop the hood groceries. Yeah. That's that's my favorite car comes with. Yeah, like a Porsche pull up and show me an engine. And I just pop my hood. And I'm like groceries.

39:35But it comes that's bread. And that's a cinnamon roll. It comes with a cinnamon roll. It comes with a cinnamon roll. Wow. Yeah. I thought there were groceries you bought. Yeah. They put it in the front. Wow. They stored in there. Wow. I really want to display food items. I really want to have a fucking car now. Yeah. All right. Which one did you get? Top of the one. Oh, it's what I love about Joe Cohen. The only the best choice. He's kids about his lack of speed, but he's got the need for it. Yeah. All right. What else? We got Gina Gray. Well, the BBC reports that eating peanut products as a baby dramatically cuts the risks of allergies. Of course, Boiseys. Childs on 628 babies prone to developing the allergy found that the risk was cut by 80%. By the way, who's offering up their infant child? You know what I mean? Hey, we're going to conduct some experiments. He's a German guy. I don't know his full name, but anyway, he's a pretty good doctor. I haven't checked him out, but he's over at the university.

40:35He's a junior college, but take your infants and drop them on by. Yeah. Long story short, there's 120 bucks in it for you. Yeah. Who is offering their kids up for these things? People that didn't want their kid to have a peanut allergy or kill them. Yeah. Yeah. Look. Look, there's the happy news is he could eat as much Peter Pan and Jeff is humanly possible. There's another party could come home in a back either way. Go into an athletic show. Go into an athletic show. By the way, why is Peter Pan peanut butter called Peter Pan peanut butter? Yeah. Now, Peter Pan do anything with peanut butter? Do you have peanut butter in the movie? I don't think there's any peanut related. The lost boys narrate one peanut butter sandwich. That's a, yeah, he never said that the lost boys who wants to be in a better jelly. I'm doing this. Why, why him or her or it? Why license Peter Pan? Yeah. Why if you're the peanut butter company? You know what I'll sell this peanut butter? You should've licensed don't go. The fucking elephant? Peanut?

41:36Don't go when the one doesn't license. That's not in a iteration. Yeah. And Dumbo would be the opposite of like smart water. Dumbo peanut butter? People don't like to eat stuff that starts with dumb. Dip shit peanut butter? Yeah. I used to be able to solve this Rubik's cube now. Dip shit. No, but it's like I used to be able to solve this Rubik's cube and do my own taxes now. Fucking lost. Give me some more peanut butter. And I'm eating him with my hand now. He's using knife. Yeah. Yeah. Dumbo. The message you want to send. But gay guy in tights, probably not the message you want to send to either. You know what I mean? Who never grows up? I don't know. All right, just me. On the other hand, Jeff is a pretty fucking shitty name for peanut butter too. And we'll write it. Chippy, skippy. Yeah, what is this? Laura Scutters. Come on. The peanut butter. Hey, any guys who named peanut butter out there? You guys are fucking up royally. And you better hope I don't get involved with peanut butter.

42:37Because I'll do one. You know who doesn't actually. Excellent. Excellent. You know who doesn't all your assets? The planter's peanut guy. Why doesn't he have peanut butter? He's the one that deserves fucking peanut butter. Well, he does. Well, that's not what I mean. You know what I mean? He's like hawking cashews on. Unless this isn't even me. And you know what? Where's my fucking butter? I'm making. No. No. I'm a fucking peanut. And I can make butter. But fucking Peter over here is selling his shit. GIF. He's selling his shit. Fucking skimp. That fucking idiot. He's selling his shit. What about me? Well, listen. I'm a fucking peanut. I want to sell my butter. Brown sugar. Look at my asshole. Brown sugar. Look at my asshole. I'm making peanut butter right now. I'm just doing it. Oh, no, how'd it happen? I don't even know how I do it. There's no processing. It just happened. I'm just doing it. I'm just doing it. Brown sugar. There's no processing. It just happened. Put it in goddamn jar, put my face on it. Give me some royalties. Joe, Joe. The fuck is wrong with you? Fuck you.

43:37Brown sugar. Hold on a second. And I don't want you to spin out here. But it is blood. By the way, I made you spin. It's peanut butter for Christmas. It's old on. It's black history month. Yeah. And I know I have a pretty large predominantly black crowd here tonight. From a zoosist. So, uh, I don't want you to turn on me. Security. Lots of black people suffering from Vintaligo, I see. But George Washington Carver spent his life in a lab working with peanuts. Never invented peanut butter. Holy shit. Again, probably not the time to bring it up. Brown sugar. Yeah. But, you know, he's a hero to you. No, he is a hero. You've been watching what you say, motherfucker. He spent his life in a lab crushing peanuts. Yes, he did. He never fucking spread it on a piece of bread. Not saying, in any way, diminishes his workers legacy. That's because the white man had his hands open. Now, I don't know what the fuck that means.

44:38I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't speak the abominic. But what I'm saying is how you spread peanut butter without a knife in your head when your hands are spread wide to fuck open. Right. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Black history month. Now listen. Talk with my hand. Him with a 157 uses for peanuts. None of them was the number one use peanut butter. I'm not. So he didn't make butter, motherfucker. And I'm just saying, eh? Just a macadamia. You're not saying it? I'm saying it! Yeah. It was a hole in his game, like Shaq from the Free Throat line. And in maniac. He's a lot of thinker. Yeah. Obviously, he should be remembered fondly. A lot of fun. But not him. And he didn't invent peanut butter. Yeah. I mean, did everything else with Pena? That's just he missed the butter part. That's all. And it had to be weird every time lunch came around when he went upstairs for a sandwich. I mean, a Pimento Lofa, again, okay. All right. More ham.

45:38All right, I gotta hurry up. I gotta get down there and mash more peanuts. Ha ha ha. At some point, he's probably making a sandwich in the lab and like a piece of bread fell into the mortar pestle with the peanuts, I throw this out. That's ruined. This is ruined. This is bad, this is ruined. This batch of mortar is ruined. What is it saying that you didn't come up with peanut but are you just mashing peanuts? He forgot butter. Okay, I'm sorry, listen, I had a black history month. I don't know how you celebrate. He made oil goddamn it. Oh yeah, I know. He made like axle grease it, yeah. Yeah, so that's good enough. I don't know how people don't have butter. Okay. We got, we got margin. You do margin? You're Missola people? We made Peter margin, motherfucker. That's just as good. All right, listen, listen, Brad Sugar, I didn't mean to attack your people. I never got damn it, you always attack me. No, I'm just saying it. It's probably not the right month to bring this up. So, the closest thing we have to block out in the audience, this white guy with the Randy Monsters. Oh, shit. It's the best we can do people. He's gonna run over police woman on the way home.

46:42Too soon. Okay. All right, Gina, what do we got? Well, marijuana is now legal for adults in Alaska. Yeah, Alaska is now the third US state to end prohibition of marijuana. Is it? Well, first off, how do you grow, I guess it's all hydroponic or whatever, because nothing's gonna grow in Alaska. Unagglacier. Sarah Palin's probably standing on her porch and disapproving right now. Shaking her head. This is bullshit, yeah. I'm looking at Russia, I'm looking at weed grown in Alaska, this sucks. By the way, if you live in Alaska, you, as you, if you agree to raise a family in Alaska, as you enter the state, you should get a hay bail of weed. Like they should go, come on down. Here's your weed and your honorary bong shaped like Alaska. Right? Thank you for coming here and paying taxes. This is one of the places where you should be old. First off, you must really love weed. They got much bigger fish to fry in Alaska than,

47:42there's an 80% chance you're gonna die on a crappo. Let the guy smoke some weed. No, statistically, it's true. You know, my fantasy, my last in fantasy, is I put on a yellow ATF windbreaker and a big fake mustache and I walk into any barn in Alaska and go, I'm a federal agent and I'm looking for it and just watch everyone die for the wind. Like two fox goes, you know what I mean? Everyone just does a shoulder roll out the wind of bark. The guy behind the bark, I just drink for free. All you need is a fucking yellow windbreaker with some electrician's tape that says ATF on it. You'll rule Alaska. You could walk into a Costco and go, federal agent and everybody just goes, oh shit. Better like cockroaches. Yeah, you just fucking, oh, go full omega man. You drive a brand new Mustang right out of the dealership. You just fuck up, I got federal agent. Oh shit, everyone's diving out of the front door. You just get in a new 2015 Mustang just drive right into a snow bank. So you think the only reason people live in Alaska is to live off the grid, no social security number,

48:45they aren't running from their past, they're sprinting from it. It's a shoulder roll and a full fucking amount of fire sprint from my past. You don't just move to Alaska, you flee there. Nevada in Alaska are the two flea states. You go there trying to get a fresh start. Yeah, I mean, fresh start doesn't mean I ran a super successful Fortune 500 company in my previous state. Now I'm trying to get a fresh start. It's, you know, the Hiccular Man Slotter's kind of a tricky thing. Yeah. It doesn't, I wouldn't call myself a murder. Obviously there's a couple of corpses, but it's not not, don't look at myself as a murder. My third wife would probably beg to differ. Anyway, a couple of teenage sons, one of them, the younger one speaking to me. Anyway, where's the fishing boat? I'm really going with my hands. I'm going with my hands with their hands. I can fix equipment, something's broken, right?

49:45I can fix that shit. Yeah, I fix heavy equipment in Alaska. Yeah, that's you go there. So he repaints some old lady's barn red. Yeah. I do this for you. I'm just going to sleep in here for a while. That's a good kid. Yeah, there's still a lot of barn. He fucked animals. There's a lot of bartering. I would reckon that Alaska is like the number one barter state. Barter economy. Yeah, there's a, yeah, I'll paint your barn. If you let me fuck your daughter or whatever, whatever, whatever it is. Use quality paint. Fix the tractor. Right, fuck your daughter. She's a virgin for God's sakes. I'll find out. Well, 10 to your field if I can take Stacey Oakley to the prom. Yeah. For example, yes, yes, that's exactly it. So good. Let them smoke their pot. Let everybody smoke their pot. And let's get on to real fucking problems. Good we already, the gays get married, the heshers smoke your weed.

50:45And then let's focus on, I don't know, families falling apart and bridges and roads falling apart. Can we do that? Like, can we just fucking focus on something that makes a difference? APPLAUSE Somebody in Anchorage wants to fucking cop a buzz off of some weed. I don't give a fuck. I want to know why Los Angeles doesn't have schools that are usable. And that's me. I'm old fashioned that way. I'm wildly, okay, pops? I'm wildly impulsive that way. You want to spot them every 10 feet, Beverly Hills. Yes, yes. All right, let's do one more. Well, I'm glad you feel that way about weed because a study just came out saying that marijuana is roughly 114 times less deadly than alcohol, according to the Journal of Scientific Reports. And by the way, of the seven drugs included in this study, alcohol was by far the deadliest at an individual level followed by heroin, cocaine, tobacco, ecstasy, meth, and weed.

51:48Yeah. But you know, we've never got anyone laid. That's true. Oh, that's a weed dealers who disagree. Well, yeah, maybe. Talk about barter. Talk about barter. You mean the consumers? Some dude from Pineapple Express blowing you is not exactly what I had in mind. What I'm saying about booze is, let's get the devil. Let's do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's gotten a lot of us laid. Yeah. And I mean, it's a two-way street. Just stace you over here. I'm sure it's done a few things she's not too proud of. Not because of weed. You must thank Mr. Barterals and Mr. James for that evening. That's all I'm saying. You know, I mean, there's been a lot of stuff that's done. You know, the thing about, the thing, again, that you have to, the reason you have to praise booze is it gets people to do shit they wouldn't normally or don't want to do

52:48or don't condone doing. And you know, there's a downside to that. Oh, really? Yeah. I mean, I guess if I use my imagination, you could see all those powers of a use for evil. Yeah, driving a school bus with special needs kids when you're blown a .07 or something like that. There are circumstances. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right from those. Right, right, right. But I mean, when you watch Joe, I was just watching you on the Epic Fails show on Fox with Terry Cruz hosting. Yeah. Great job, by the way. I think you. There would not be any Epic fail videos if there was not booze. Yeah. There's nobody fucking rips a pong load and then goes, I'm going to get that on that mechanics creeper and put a bottle rocket up my ass. You guys hold the camera. I'm going to see if I'm beat the train over the tracks that on weed is a non-starter on booze. It's a fucking great idea. Brilliant. Unweed, they would talk about it, pontificate about it and then sit back down.

53:48Right. But there's no way I think I can stand up on my kids' YZ80 in my flip flops in this backyard that's super confined with the above ground pool. All the humor that comes from the above ground pool. I'm doing the, I'm jumping off the roof. This is all booze fuel. So we should be thanking alcohol. I think we should put our hands together for a push. You guys would not think Joe Coy was funny or Gina was attractive without, well no, I'm making a point. I'm making, no, you take that with you. It's a great point. You do know what just happened. I don't mean to hurt, but the reason you're looking at it. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's because of a little something called booze. Thank you very much. All right. Let's bring it home. You got it. I'm Gina Grad and that's the news. That was the news. On the Adam Corolla show.

54:51You're cool, right? Like don't go home and throw up or anything. I'll find out. I'll be okay. Thanks. Unless this from too much alcohol. Yeah. Yeah, have a couple of younger shots then. Yeah, make a shot. I'll do that tonight. Yeah. All right. It was Adam Corolla show 1519. Coming up next, we have Adam Corolla show 1276. Howey Mendel and Studio. Along with Mike Gatto and Matt Achtley, Sid Wilder on News along with Brian Bishop. This one's from 2014. Check it out. Hello and welcome to Pluto foe. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto TV. For all your bloodbusters, favorites are landing all summer long. Catch anchor man, the legend of Ron Burgundy. Fantastic. The Matrix trilogy. Welcome to the real world. Mean girls. Side off. Tite and egg. From the key in the world. And so much more for showtime. Press nothing. They're free 24-7. That is so fast. On Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never.

55:51Oh, Riley. Auto parts. Yeah, man. Oh, Riley. Love these guys. Going to get into it with O'Reilly because I got a car race coming up at about six or seven weeks since time for prep. You want to keep your car in the road. You do it with O'Reilly. There's not many issues I can't figure out. But if I can't always go to O'Reilly, they've got thousands of parts in stock, either in store or online. So you never worry if you're in a jam. They'll also test your battery for free. And if it needs to be replaced, they'll help you find the right one. Whether you're a car, aficionado, or an auto novice, you'll see the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are helpful and friendly. O'Reilly is your one stop shop for all things. Auto do it yourself. It's O'Reilly, right Dawson? Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us at O'Reilly Auto.com slash Adam. That's O'Reilly Auto.com slash Adam.

56:53Thank you so much. And welcome so much to joining us on the show today. Sorry, I got it very early this morning. Did some KTLA. Sid Wilder. Ah, there she is. Good to see you, Sid. Hi, good to see you too. Thanks for joining us. Thanks for having me. Matt, Anzagee. Hello. From Rotten Tomatoes and my God-O. Great to be here. Great to have you here. Mike represents the 43rd District of, as a state assemblyman, Burbank Glendale, Locke Niana Flintridge, Los Felis. He's here to fight for you, Ace. Oh, could I clean up this town, Mike? Could I clean this town up? Well, that's what I hear. My idea is, by the way, we started utilizing my Fitzdeers at Clear's up on the Freeway sign. Instead of the super semi-retarded and redundant clicker ticket, which was up on the big electronic

57:54Freeway signs for many years, which meant nothing to anybody. I have no idea what goes on if those meetings you guys have. Well, that's Calisrian's. No, get me started about those. Oh, God, I hear some of our meetings. Oh, geez, the wage. But Mike's one of the good ones. And you know, Mike's one of the good ones because he brought an award for me. Oh, you know what? They were kicking off the campaign for President Me. Yeah, this is the first step in getting Adam elected president. And that's getting honored by the state of California. I mean, who wouldn't want that? I, well, people live in Texas, probably. But I love it. And you, what is the honor that I'm receiving today? Well, you are receiving a resolution from the state of California. It means that the legislature of the state of California actually passed a law honoring you. Hold on. Hold on. Oh, my gosh. On this face. No, I just, when I get home and I yell at my kids and wife to honor me, I'm going to have to have deputies with me now. Yes, you will. And explain that they'll be arrested and put in zip ties if they do not in fact honor

58:55me. You're going to have to ask them if they know who you are. And, yes, yes. And once you, once you observe that you know who I am, you must honor me. That's right. Or you'll be arrested by my dep, well, my jack booted thugs. Jack booted thugs. That's right. Yes. So this is an award and it's suitable for framing. It is suitable for framing. I want to, it is pre-framed actually and I want to sort of paint a picture for the listeners. It is this beautiful, you can see real wood frame. Look at that. You know, that that was actually signed by yours truly and it basically talks about, I mean, look, all kidding aside, I know you're a funny guy and obviously you make a lot of us laugh, but your career has been incredible. I have a lot of folks in my office who started in radio and they tell me what you've been able to accomplish three days after leaving some job somewhere. You started this podcast. You got how many downloads a day? Oh, millions. Millions downloads a day. I was going to make a joke if we could only find a way to tax it, but I don't think that would go across too much.

59:55Oh, you guys were doing fine. It's going to be fun. If we could tax every one of your podcast downloads by just a dollar, think about that. Oh, he's cringing down. I was laughing at working with a lot of guys who were in radio because if you worked with a lot of guys who were in radio and you said, like, Bob, what time is it? It's age 22, 22 after the hour. That's 38 away from the top. They are news traffic, traffic, traffic, weather, news. I'll come up to Matt, Mattress and Lane's watch out. Long on the four or five. What's funny? Because whenever I appear on a radio show, I always repeat the host's name, the call letters and the number and hosts just don't know what to do with it. Right. They don't, they're like, well, why? Thanks. It's pretty cool. So I've got this suitable for framing. Yes, and it's already been framed. It's been framed. But I could frame it a second time if you could frame it a second time if I thought to. And then it's suitable for hanging. It's running. And you also live in my district, of course, of course. Oh, good. I think last year you lived in the Hollywood Hills, right? You moved to Locke, and Yada.

1:00:56Yes. Go through in my district, which you could. Good. You just love this area. Your studio is in here in Glendale. I like your work. Thank you. I noticed you have those beautiful cars out there. And I was the author of the bill that allows you to actually get a real license plate for those old cars. Wow. What Mike is speaking of is the old, the first generation cars in California had the yellow and black plates. International show, Mike's international show. Oh, I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I can't seem to look to the blue and yellow, to the now sort of white and whatever. And eventually, it'll just be the gay flag on there. But for now, it's a reflective sort of white plate. And if you have a 1932, woody, it looks weird to have the newfangled plate on there. It's sort of an accessory. And it's one of these things that sort of says this is the era, the cars from. So the newfangled plate with the oldfangled cars, never quite right. And they sort of reissuing these plates.

1:01:58They did. smart because it's what the hobbyist and the motorist wants and also paying extra couple of bucks in the DMV can have a few more dollars. This data calculator makes it so hard on its citizens and they make it very hard on car guys and I thought that this was something nice that we could actually do. These actually come straight from Folsomprism. They're actually used with the original molds. Wow. Real metal and you know so it's neat if you're listening to California. Can I say this? I would pay you know the vanity plate or the black and yellow plate or whatever the school plate, old school plate. You know that's an extra 75 bucks or 125 bucks or whatever they're getting these days. That's fine. I would pay an extra 15 to 20 dollars if the guy who stamped the plate would write what he was in for on the back of the plate. You know what I mean? It's a expensive buy number. Yeah. It's a expensive buy. It's a vehicular manslaughter. That's right. Ironically. It's expensive by Grand Theft Auto. I've been to a few of these plates over a couple of kids on bicycles. You know what I mean? Or something. You know Arson. Sure. I just want to know what the guy is working the punch press is actually in for.

1:03:03No, you might not want to. Then you got to run the black light on your plates. I'd like to know. You have to see got the more exotic ones. You're like Jay walking. Ooh, tickets went to warrants. Yeah. Unpaid. So Mike, you can, by the way, if people are in the district or think about moving to the district and they want to get hold of you or maybe this one who see your big white teeth online. They can Twitter him. They can go to website miccotto.com and they can Twitter him and miccotto as well. Mike, you're doing the Lord's work. I really do. Thank you for the accommodation, accreditation, something nation. And thank you for employing so many wonderful people right here in the heart of the district. Thank you so much, Mike. You don't have to leave, as they say, but you can't stay. So slide on out like a thief in the night. Thank you for the opportunity. We're used to it. We're politicians. Thank you. Thank you so much. And thank you. Once again, that will be hanging in here the next time you come back.

1:04:06Absolutely. Good day, sir. Uh, miccotto. All right. Matt is here. We'll do the Rotten Tomato Game. Sid, a little about you. Young and beautiful. Yes. But what else? Well, I did stand up comedy for a little bit. Now I just focus on my sketches. I just released a sketch called if my GPS could talk back. Mm-hmm. And I was on a Tosh.02 day playing a dominatrix. Oh, nice. Very versatile. Yeah. And where are you from? I'm originally from Marietta, Georgia. I moved out when I was 16. And you just came to perform, came to, came to. Yeah. Well, my sister got a centerful in Playboy and then my mom got a job and then I got a scholarship to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. So it all kind of worked out. We all moved as a family. Mm-hmm. All right. So it's a cliche. Yeah. What year is Miss, what month and what year? She is Miss October 2007. Uh-huh. And. Get in on them years. And. And you came out with her when, how was Mama about cis going to Playboy? I mean, she worked at Hooters before then.

1:05:07So it's kind of like, it's kind of a step above Hooters. You know, it's like the highest accolade you can get after Hooters. So. Well, you know, it's weird because Playboy is sort of quaint now when you think about you know, Miley Cyrus twerking up on stage or doing whatever on MTV award show. I mean, it's almost a lateral move from like an MTV award show. Right. But also if somebody said, you know, back in the day, oh man, your daughter in Playboy was like, oh boy, pull all the magazines from the stands. Now, if you're saying my daughter got into and you stopped, Playboy would be the best option of all the many things she could get into. I know. I mean, she didn't do a sex tape. Oh, I mean, there's just, what? She kind of had like a transition in her career and think I'm she's in hair school now, but she's kind of going through a little porn phase. But you know, she went through a little porn phase. She's continuing to be like, girl, girl. So it's not technically porn, but it's still enough to be like, and I hate it because

1:06:08like I look like her. So it's really fucking frustrating when I'm like, hi, um, yeah, I know I look for. Oh, happy to off to you. I know. I know. Yeah, I know those titties. I know. Yeah, I know. I mean, actually, I'm in my refractory period. But I'm starting to come out of it now. Yeah, I recognize you. You're with Amber. What's her name? Oh, yeah. 69 things. Yeah, it's awesome, man. You're working for the girls aren't 52, right? 54. Exactly. I know it's an even number. Anyway, awesome work, man. Thank you. Great job on the bleaching. Thank you so much. Yeah, I really work hard at that. Yeah, it's awesome. And I feel it's respectful for the other actors. So, you know, in your room, there. Hey, oh, you're in playboy, right? Oh, seven. Totally. Yeah. You're sister, not funny. Not funny. Not funny is a standup. And then she got into sketching a funny again. I saw her on Tosh the other day. She's the funniest girl who's about to get into porn. Yeah. Not fun in and of herself. And all the comments are like, do porn. Please do porn. I'm like, fuck you.

1:07:09Yeah. I didn't say, please. I just do it. Yeah, exactly. So, at least I said, please. All right. So that's almost like a standup. Yeah. When I'm 9 or 7 times that I didn't know and I kiss you. I'm like, what's weird? And I'm like, you get out of this joke. I just ride the riddle. I mean, I say something. Oh, so what's weird is I can't use this as a venue. Sure. She's 100%. Much nonsense, you're not having beautiful houses. Daniel Sometimes we always start hearing things. I went with Jeff. She started wearing a car간ut on my truck at several speed. But she was literally like say your mom. She was kind enough to not brag about it. I just don't have the work ethic. They're just so used to like having people do things for them. Well, to be fair, making a living, getting paid to have intercourse, everything's work after that. I know, right? You know what I mean? As a guy, you're used to pay. I mean, you never would get paid. That's what I'm saying. Well, I'm just saying, if you really just distill it down

1:08:09to what it is, I'm getting paid to fuck. So now, somebody says, well, I can get you a job doing roofing, or coastal sorting, or I can get you a job. I get you a job lifting gold bars into your truck though. Oh, yeah. I mean, you get your job. Getting a job where you can have sex. Right. You guys can have jobs to make money so that they can have sex. So they can have sex. So they can have sex in a position to have sex. That's right. Exactly. So your sister goes with the Playboy, oh, oh seven. By the way, is the internet down? Gary, how many years do I have to talk about this before a nude rendering of your sister? What's up? Right. Well, what month? That'll be easier. Miss October, 2007. October. Mm-hmm. You know, I like the super scientific game of picking the month you were born in, and proclaiming that your chick's a lot hotter than the other chick.

1:09:10Oh, really? I'm a maid. Look how much hotter maid is than you. You're month. Yeah, that's all we had when I was young. So your sister comes out, does that? Yeah. Dabbles a little in a girl on girls, so not real porn. Yeah, well, she won't do real porn because she wants to get married one day. That's how she justifies it. She's like, I want to get married to a guy one day, and it's more classy if I don't do like girl girl. I'm like, you're totally right. It's actually classy. The way I was girl girl, I don't understand like the whole thing like girl girl not being porn. I know, I don't understand that either, but that's her mentality. So I'm like, okay, all right. Because she's not planning on marrying a girl. No, she's not. Okay. She's not. No. Mm-hmm. But she wants to marry a guy. Mm-hmm. That's my sister. How is it that women have, are you looking at this sister? It's hard to find, but yeah. Oh, okay. Uh-oh. Now you just, now pork area over there. Ah! Yeah, he's got a tumor. But he still is able to find it. I know. Oh, you've got October 2007 playboy, right?

1:10:13That's, uh, that's the feel like that's, uh, most of the information. I know, right? So, so she, uh, anyway, then gets into, uh, the girl on girl stuff. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And how does that make you feel? Well, you know, it's not the first choice I would have picked for her, but, you know, so she's happy and doesn't like OD, then, you know, good for her and she's trying with hair school. I know she's trying the best that she can. So I'm like, okay, you go do that. Mm-hmm. You know, I'm trying to be supportive. Mm-hmm. And how about you, if you ever thought about that kind of stuff, you've been approached? No, I've been approached a lot. Approached. Yeah. How does that work? I just like, you know, I think my nipples are camera shy. So like, I just, it's not really my thing. Same thing with my sack, I'm sack, yeah. They're perfect. So, you know, we have something in common there, but, um, yeah, so unfortunately, no, I haven't ever decided. I mean, I've like done the hair handbraw and like, you know, handbraw. Half naked modeling. I'm really good at that. Nothing more. Okay. I think I've taken seriously. And so is Dad out of the picture? No, he's actually in the picture. He's actually, he favors my sister, which is so fucking annoying,

1:11:14because... Why do you say he favors her? Um, because she's the first child, and she's, like, she's in talk back to him, you know, and she's done something so bad. There's like that purple elephant in the room. He's not gonna address that, you know, and he's like a pastor, so he's trying to like, save her. Are we looking at your sister here, by the way? Oh, yeah, that's my sister. Okay. You're blind here. It's fancy. Uh-huh. You know, there's a lot of like, oh, you favor this kid, you favor that kid. Um, first off, I have twins, boy and a girl. Oh. And I feel like they're earning it. You know, whatever status they have in Daddy's mind, they're working real hard to keep that status. It's not like it's a contest. What I'm... What I'm saying is, is whatever I think of each of them individually, is not because I just randomly decided I was gonna feel this way about my boy and that way about my girl, they've earned their position in Papa's brain. Okay, well, what about when she gets older and she starts to date? Mmm.

1:12:14And then she get up pictures like, like, that's like scary to me. Like, if I ever had kids, like, doesn't that freak you out? Uh, well, first off, I'm staying into the picture. Ah! So, she just does solo stuff. That helps. You know, that helps. Not even the girl girl stuff. Totally, yeah, that's, I mean, that's way classier. That's the classiest you can get. So, that's art, are you kidding? Totally. So, I'm gonna stick around. Right. And when did your dad split? Um, they got to force them like five or six. Mmm. Yeah. Then what happens is, then you want attention from a male. Right. And then you realize, you're a couple of deacups there that are just enough attention. Right. And I always say, look, you know, you judge these girls. Matt, at age 16, Brian, at age 16, at age 17, if you knew, keep going. No, what I'm saying is, is when you're, you know, junior in high school, if you knew that every fucking guy just wanted you, like every, everybody, I know in my school.

1:13:16Are you kidding? And it's like, if me and Brian just started making out at a party, they'd all just start going bananas. And then they'd start buying us drinks and wanting to do shots. I was like, I'd be in. Right. I just clarify, we're a girls in this situation, right? Yeah. Either way, it'll still happen. I would never fucking attend a class that took place before noon. I'd be out every fucking night having 28-year-old dudes buy me drinks. Oh, my God. I'd be in the back of some guys, you know, Corvette all day long, even though there is no back of a Corvette, I'm that much of a slut. I would create a back to a car that did not have a back just to play stuff sex. Oh, my God. I'd just be all over the fucking place. I fucking love it. Oh, wouldn't you? I mean, I could have, but then my sister was doing it. So, like, I kind of had to clean up the work, you know what I mean? Like, she was down. She was all, like, again, I kind of grew up, I went to the Playboy Mansion a lot when I was like 16 and 15, so, like, I kind of got that out of my system really early.

1:14:19So, she came out here and she came out to do Playboy. Yeah, that was her main goal, and she succeeded. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And, you know, though, you don't want to peak that early in life, you know? I know. 21, 22, you know, you peak out. I know. It's crazy. And it's crazy, I think, like, where all the older playmates are too. Like, they all, I feel like, are in the same position. Like, they're all, they all have a kid. Missionary. What? Missionary. Missionary, exactly. Missionaries are a favorite one. But, yeah, so. Well, they're all, well, first off, when you say older, you mean ones that are 34. No, not old. Okay, I'm just saying. 40s, 50s. Here's what I feel like. The older girl next door stuff. See, Playmate, you should just be something that somebody recruited you into. Right. Now, everyone is trying to be a Playmate, and it's ruined it a little bit. It's an interesting thing, which is to say, I've always said this, when the seven-year-old walks in front of everyone on Thanksgiving,

1:15:23and everyone's sitting at the table, and they say something very funny, and they get a big laugh out of the room, that's sweet and innocent and funny. When they then come back with a pre-rehearsed bit. That's a waste of my time. That's a waste of my time. It's just a waste of my time. It's just a waste of my time. It's just a waste of my time. It's just a waste of my time. It doesn't feel good when you think the guy is now aware of what he's doing and showing up to entertain. And, and I love the idea back when he's to go on the campus searches and find the thing, where somebody's boyfriend would submit a picture of the girl or whatever she's sitting on a tractor. Or better ex-boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend. Yeah. But now, everyone kind of flying in and sending in pictures and attempting to do it doesn't, doesn't feel as organic to me. No, it doesn't, especially with social media too. I feel like it's changed a lot. They just kind of like, you know, troll for pictures or, you know, and it's totally different. Yes. I never understood the whole like boyfriend, like current boyfriend, like, oh, my girl's so hot she needs to be a Playboy. Like, I've never under, like, I just felt like, dude, like, you're asking for trouble, right?

1:16:26Because there's somebody who's got somebody who's got more going on than you somewhere. Hello, star 80. I've seen star 80. Yeah. I just don't get it. I mean, I guess I kind of do like, yeah, it's, it's like some, I guess, badger pride, but still like, well, I completely agree. The first impulse is I can tell everyone I'm dating a playmate, which is fine until Peter Bogdanovich starts banging her. And then you're, you know, tell the guy, no, that's what happened in star 80. That's right. The guy shows up the fucking, you know, necker chief and he starts wailing away on your old lady's pussy. And X, you know, you're shipping back to Canada and it seemed like a good plan for about 10 minutes until Bogdanovich got in the picture. Right. And then he gets a pistol. He got to kill everybody. He's the light, by the way, Bogdanovich. He starts nailing Dorothy Strenton when he's 44. She's 19 or 20, maybe married.

1:17:27I don't know if he's married at the time, but, but don't worry. After she got off by Eric Roberts, the boyfriend, starts dating her sister. Yeah, younger sister. Oh, isn't that awful? Awful. That could be your future. Well, we watched so much. Seriously. I could not. No, not me. Why not? He's someone who's dating your sister. And then what happens? And then you come in. Oh gosh, right? That would be horrible. That whole story is as weird as weird gets because we got to figure out the whole timeline. But basically, she's 20. He's 40, maybe 43. I don't know. Maybe 39. He's 40. He's either married or just got done being married. At some point, after Dorothy gets married, it takes a look and goes, there's a 16 year old with the same last name. You'll do it. Same DNA. Oh, yeah. If you know what I mean. Oh, yeah. That's crazy. But we actually watched that movie, ironically, before we all moved out, my sister and my mom and I.

1:18:30Yeah. And you'd think my sister would be better than my friends. I know. I was either that or hardcore, but you would see Scott. They only take away a little feature. Don't date Peter Bogganovich. Oh, right. Gosh. That's funny. All right. Dorothy. Yeah. I just need the Bogganovich story with her. He was born in 39. He was born in 39. So he was born together in 1980. He was 41. In 1888, he married the younger sister who was 20 at the time. And it says on Wikipedia, he began dating her and she was 14. The best line is right here. It says, uh, uh, the marriage was viewed as a scandal because of the previous engagement to her sister. Oh, wow. Leaving out the part where he started dating when she was 14. Oh, my gosh. It makes me feel so classy. And was he married during this time or was he divorced? Anyway, a delight. A delight. Absolutely. And he can't judge. I should get him and Woody and Polanski Roman Planski. I put him all in the same hot tub and see who satanizes who first.

1:19:32Oh. We got a hot tub, fill it full of quail eggs. We'll see what happens. Oh, my gosh. The light. My boat's on Woody. He was divorced. Yeah. You don't bet against the Woodman that much. I can tell you right now. All right. Where the hell were we? Oh, yeah. Matt. How are we, Mandel? It's coming in a couple of few. Uh, us at the tomorrow night. Melrose Improv. I'm going to be there. Two big shows. That's right. Eric Stone Street is going to be in there. And, uh, great fits. Imanz is well. So, uh, early show, late show. Come on out. Say hi. Redondo Beach Performing Arts Center. Thursday, March 27th. The legal defense fund benefit. Kimmel's going to be there. Dr. Drew Kevin and Bean. Mark Maren's going to be there. Andy Summers from a little band called the police. It's going to be performing as well. So, uh, come on out and say hi. Me and San Antonio and in Austin coming up on, uh, Monday and Tuesday, doing a couple of angry events. You can come say hi and go to emkroll.com and find out when the dates and all that kind of stuff.

1:20:37And, uh, if you want to support us because we're fighting the patent trolls, baby, find anything.com forward slash patent troll. Contribute what you can. We're going to beat those guys back. All right, Matt. Up here. Should we play the game? We should. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Is the guy with the fresh shame rock to move again? Now it's time. I really hope it is. It lay. Please let's go. I totally can't hit this note. I can't force it away anymore. Pay anymore. It hurts my balls. It hurts my balls.

1:21:39Actually, he names the splits of the game mixed with that. Actually, there's a shrub of guy when he dropped by the game. Yeah. That was amazing. Yeah. It's a hell of a song. So I'm having this meeting last week with, uh, the larger digital sales team that handles selling ads on Rotten Tomatoes. And I'm talking to them about why they should be, you know, what they need to help make their sales in Balabah. And one of them was like, okay, great. Thanks for your presentation. Now we need to hear your theme song. Ha ha ha ha ha. Uh, International Superstar, man, actually, uh, Rotten Tomatoes. So the way the game works, Sid is, I'm saying this for you and for folks at home, I don't know. Uh, you'll pick a theme. You'll pick out five movies to this theme, could be an actor or any other theme.

1:22:39And we will try to pick what the Rotten Tomatoes score was from the critics for this movie at this point on Rotten Tomatoes. And whoever's closest after we tally everything up, like golf, the lowest score is going to win. Whoever's closest to the score. Now one of the things I'll tell you is the tomato meter is a measure of how many critics like to move it's not an average score. Okay. So there's a slight difference. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. I have 88% but just as long as enough people, one over 60%, you'll get to 88%. Enough people liked it. Yeah. The gave it. 88% means that 88% of the critics basically gave it a thumbs up. It doesn't have to be a rousing like, oh my God, this is the best movie ever. Did I have to at least just say? Yeah. Not bad. Okay. And do I get a trophy? Yes. Perfect. Oh, you got to throw a pen over there to you because you may, you're going to have to write down your, your number. How mad will Alison be? I'm not the weak that she's out. Sid wins. Who knows?

1:23:40I'm really very serious. Thank you. I'm rooting for me too. All right. So in honor of Peabody and Sherman opening this week. Oh, no. I'm doing time travel movies. All right. Right? All right. So first up, don't worry, Adam, I picked movies. Let me ask some about Peabody and Sherman and the way back machine and all that kind of shit. Who under 50 even knows what the fuck that is? Nobody. No. How I always wonder, it's my land of the lost question, which is there are two segments of this entire planet and possibly beyond this planet. They're the human beings that know what land of the lost is and hated it and realized it was one of the biggest pieces of shit to ever come out of their childhood. And then there's people who've never heard of it. Either way, you making a movie called Land of the Lost. All you've done is alienate half of the population. That's the half that is heard of your flaming piece of shit that Sid and Marty fucking crossed came up with in 1974.

1:24:41And then there's everyone else who's never heard of it. So it's academic. What the fuck kind of thinking is that? I'll tell you what kind of thinking it is. To get a lot of times to get your movie made, you're going to sell it to the higher ups in the studio. And it's the old guys that run the studio. They're like, oh, Land of the Lost. My kids when they were 50, 10 years old used to watch that. Everyone's going to wonder what happened to Marshall, Will and Holly. 41 years on. Yeah, that's my point. All right, here we go. It's a good decision. Okay. All right, first up, 1985's back to the future. So you're right down Sid. Well, you think, don't look at him. I'm not looking at his voice. You think as a school. Well, I think you don't have to move your hand like that. It's a little aggressive. Before those are a list, I just put it on her tip. I can't feel it. It's fake. It's fine. My hands are real. I'm cupping my answer. All right. I was just cupping something.

1:25:41All right, 86% is what I have. 92. This is almost flawless movie. 91. 96. Wow. That good. Damn it. Even higher than the audience. Hold up, you can enjoy this today. The only reason I knocked a couple of points off is because I thought it was an older movie that sometimes they don't get the as much love out of the gate and then later on they become more appreciated. Yeah, like this is universally, you know, three and three rodent. I'm just more pissed off that I lost. You didn't lose. You're only down by two or three points. Yeah. Which one five and whoever gets the farthest away, the least far away from the score. Okay. It's like golf. I'm farthest away right now. All right. Next, 2010's hot tub time machine. Oh. Oh, that was good. John Q. Sack, Rob Cordray, Craig Robinson. Never saw it. Are you writing it down, Sid? Yes. I never saw it. I heard it was good.

1:26:42I saw it. I'm the only one I know who didn't like it. Everyone else liked it. I didn't think it was great either. So I'm going to sit. I don't want to be. I'm going to sit 82% because I think this was a well reviewed movie that everyone liked except me for some reason. All right. Now you're making me want to go higher, but I want 78. I feel like it might be lower. 78. 85. 63. Damn it. Damn it. Me too. I should have listened to me. Oh. Fucking Brian. Damn. You were still closest. Now, but you know what I did. Normally, I write my answer down before you start talking. And now as you start talking, I start going up higher. All right. Things are close. Here we go. All right. We're going to go back in time a little bit to one of the first movies that we got to see John Codd Van Dam on screen twice. Time cop. Time cop. Wow. Okay. All right. All right. All right. All right. 39. 44. 41. 43. Whoa. Look at you too. Boy, man, this is this is anyone's game at this point.

1:27:49That's a tough game. All right. Yeah. We're going to 1989 for the first in a series. People are dying for the third one. Yeah. 40. What do you have? 41 said. Yes. Okay. Uh, starring Alex Winter and canneries, Bill and Ted's excellent adventure. Never saw it. Here good things, but in a sort of campy way. I'd start at the next generation's goonies or something. This is actually a good movie. Don't let me affect your score, but this is actually a good movie. Okay. Oh, my goonies. I'm 69. 79. 72. 81. Whoa. Very high. I think Brian has, you know, has walked away with this competition. Is that the last one? Uh, one more. All right. One more. Uh, the movie that made Arnold a star. He's the 80s. Bill and Ted's excellent adventure. 89, yeah. I mean, 81. I mean, what I'm saying is the point. All those other. I don't think that Bill and Ted's excellent adventure be in the 80s.

1:28:51And it's a good movie. I think it'll fall. The count of dreams thing. All that worked against it. Still just in the 80s. Yeah. Which never. It's very high to me. Uh, next up, 1984's the Terminator. Hmm. The Terminator. All right. I love that movie. I am going to say. 94. This is the movie that made Michael Bean a star. 90. 92. Wow. I was going to go for it. And not a fluke 100. 100% with 47. Wow. Wow. Wow. Everybody loves this movie. Damn. I hope I'm not less than six off a second place. Damn it. I was going to say hundreds just to get far away from Brian as possibly could. But then I realized it's going to be 95. And I'm going to be 100. All right. Brian 36. Sid 46. Adam 47. Yeah. Oh, no, wait, this is golf. Brian wins.

1:29:51Sid second. Adam 3rd. Still podiums. I'll take the podium. I'll take a second. You're maintaining the record for the newsreader getting second place. That's right. Always getting second. I still expect a trophy, so that's all I have to say to you guys. We can have Adam's certified fresh trophy right? How are you. Oh, yeah. Oh, there you go. Now I feel bad because I think I have 80% on Rotten Tomatoes. And Bill and Ted has 81%? Yeah. Wait a minute. We're pretty good movie. And listen, you got another movie coming out. Yeah, that's true. We're Bill and Ted with the fans. I think I'm going to look at 87% with the fans. Oh yeah. Nice. Yeah, I got him with the fans. It is interesting that the fans were a little more in line with what we were thinking and the critics. Just, anyway. We got legal zoom, baby. Howie Mandel is out there. So we'll bring him in a second. All right. What we do is we go to Rotten Tomatoes.com. We check out Matt Achey's work. See, new movies coming out.

1:30:53You want to see how it's doing? You get the idea. You see what these movies are doing. And that's where you go. Matt, thank you so much for coming in. Thanks for having me. Howie Mandel in studio. Next. Thank you. Well, we's back with one of the good guys in Hollywood. Howie Mandel. I'm one of the good guys. Can I just say how impressed I am? I don't know how much you talk about where this is or how many people actually more than listen, watch this. But this is a very impressive warehouse. Thank you. That you have with it. There's like cars parked inside. They look like vintage race cars. Is that what that is? Yes. I know nothing about cars. But I was always overcompensating for a horrible childhood where I had the yearn to build things. And building is no different than wanting to play the drums when you're young or sing or having a green thumb or whatever it is. Like you just want to do it. Your gear head or your knot.

1:31:54We had no money and lived in crappy apartments and my dad was a pus. So I've overcompensated as an adult. Because I heard about this and I had never been here and I aspired to do something. I just bought a warehouse in Van Ais. But then I realized after the purchase that I don't collect anything and I have nothing absolutely true. So I just thought it'd be cool to have a warehouse. But you have cars and you have a podcast. You purchased a butt plug and realized you had no anus. Exactly. You put it so succinctly. But the truth is I should have broider that. I just came from there. And then put it in frame and put it in the kit. It's beautiful. Like you talk about needle point. Yeah. Oh, with a frame. With a frame. With a swing of broiter and needle point. Is that the same thing? Yeah. That's good. No, you put it in the kitchen like kits the cook or I would do that. So I have this warehouse now. And that's where I just came from, my warehouse. These people call me and they'll go, where are you?

1:32:55And I go, I'm at the warehouse. Come see me at the warehouse. And I swear to you, there's nothing. There's nothing. I have nothing. But you do, you're starting to, I don't know, that's starting to do. You're doing your own production and stuff like that. And deal with it, which I was on in season one. Thank you. Very easy and very fun to do. Thank you. But we don't do that at the warehouse. No, but what will end up happening is you'll start doing a lot of your own productions and things like that. You'll have a few cube trucks and some equipment and that kind of stuff. And instead of renting it from somebody or doing whatever, you'll start doing it yourself. That's the plan. But it feels uncomfortable. It is, it feels uncomfortable that you have this warehouse. It's like being at home alone and single and putting a condom on. But there's nothing with no anus. There's nothing to fuck. I gotta let that down. I have a warehouse. It's like my, that's your condom. My production condom with nothing to fuck with. But don't worry, we will fill that condom one day with cube trucks and booms and dollies

1:33:59and gaffers tape. Oh wow. I thought it wouldn't work out just going grinder. I'm sure you can find some things to... That's not for me. It would be Tinder, right? It would be Tinder, right? Well, it's thinking butt fucking, I know you're straight, but you never know. You don't know. You don't know. I, here's the whole thing. I don't know that much about how he's sexuality. Although I learned a fair bit last time we're together because you got drunk on my career. I did. I mean, I got to tell you, well, I got to talk to people. But guys that do the fist bump, don't do the fist and downstairs. You know what I mean? Germs are germs. Exactly. You know what I mean? I have a tough time even getting my prostate. I say, I have to go, I'm at an age now, we're after my prostate checked. And I just say, if I bend over and spread my, can't you just look? Is there any way I'll... If you were good. Yeah. I'll pull apart like really what, there's no reason to even put a finger. And then when I get my prostate checked and you have, right? I'm right there. As we speak.

1:35:00I love the conversation. As I'm sitting on a modified chair right now. No, but that's a meter. That's hooked up to our doctor's office. I always wonder how do they, how do they like, who enjoys this? Why would they, why would somebody dress up and try to... I don't think they do it for pleasure. I'm hoping they don't. No, not the prostate check. Right. I'm saying my feeling that I have during a prostate check, I question the people that are into, having things, it's very uncomfortable. But let me say this. The things that are very uncomfortable for you, like killing prostitutes, for instance. Okay. That sounds, that sounds undue-able for you. For a select segment of our society, it's the only way they can orgasm. Do you know what I mean? For an elite fighting fraternity. But that seems to be a smaller portion than those people that are willing to... To put things in the back there. It is, but I'm just saying, like the notion of eating brains or a cow's tongue, or something

1:36:07that I got feels very unappealing to us. For those who like goose liver, you know, it transcends the way we feel about, you know, breaking an egg. So I'll never understand. Or you're making, you're trying to make me understand that it's... I'm trying to say, I'm with you. Right. You dropped either, but for the ones who do like it, they love it. Yeah, but a lot of women love it. Right. No, no. I don't understand those women. I mean, my sister's one of them, but she's like a whole different breed. You know, like, that's, yeah. That's just a... Yeah, where's your sister now? Oh! She was the news. She's at the back door. She's working on a wig that's on a styrofoam head. Yeah, hopefully in hair school. Oh, she's at hair school. Hopefully. And she shared this with you that she likes it better. She shares a lot of things with a lot of people. And she's okay with you sharing with everybody that's still sitting to this show? Probably not. But she likes anal. Your sister, what's her name? Spencer. Spencer. And Spencer likes anal.

1:37:07Yeah. And what does she say? Doesn't bother? Like, it's not like, oh, it's not... No, she's very into it. Really? Yeah. Even more, like, just like an inch away from that, it seems to be more pleasurable. And then, after her. Wow. Mm-hmm. So those are the, that she like killing prostitutes. No, no. That's a whole different story. I'm not trying to connect the two. I'm just saying it's an elite for turning. It was an analogy. I understand. So, how... Yes. I'm glad we're going off on the scatological rant here because... I don't know how we got to that. I wrote an independent film. Yeah, which I would like to be... And I'd love... I have a role in it for you where... And I said yes to you. Yes. And you are... You are you in this movie. Wow. But you're not much of a stretch. Well, there's going to be a side to you that people haven't seen before. I don't have to do anal, do I? After all this... Not anal anal. What's anal anal? What's anal squared?

1:38:07There's no. There's no. What is... No, no. I said yes. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. It's familiar with. Well, it's a familiar deal. Well, it's a familiar deal. No deal in America's got talent. No, but if you come see my stand-up back, there's... Yeah. I do cuss. Oh, it is a really funny movie and your role is very funny and very pivotal. So looking forward to it. That's in April, right? I'm honored. Yes, I'm honored. Well, I'm honored that you even think of me and ask me to do that. And you were great on my show. And anytime you want to come back, deal with it. It starts again, March 19th on TBS. It is a really funny show because basically put a earwig in a little AFB and one of the marks down below. You sit up top, lean into a microphone. See what you can get them to do for cash and prizes.

1:39:09It's a great... It's a fascinating... It does work nicely. It's a fascinating... I gotta tell you, you know, I've always loved Hidden Camera. We've talked about that before. But it's fascinating. This is a great experiment in humanity because really for those that don't know and haven't seen it, we set up microphones and cameras in a restaurant. And then we would go send the waiter or an actor down and we'll say, hey, do you want to free lunch? We would come fill out a form and when they come to the back, they meet Adam or whatever celebrity is there, me. And we'll say, for $5,000 do you want to play a game? And if they do, you can't tell the people that are there or you're with that you're on a game show. You put the earpiece in and whatever Adam tells you to do, you got to do for money. And what's fascinating is not only what they do... Anel. Yes, you could say that. You could say say anal. But like... There was a father and a daughter and we said, okay, for $500, tell your daughter right now that you are leaving her mother. Oh, that's hysterical. It is. And... You have an earpiece in? No, he has an earpiece in it.

1:40:09And then somebody... See, I've heard that minus the earpiece when she was five. And they were in their kitchen. But anyway, go ahead. It's really fine. Hence the anal. Yes, she landed on her anus. At least she was sister dead. And then she said, and now I'd like you to meet who I'm leaving your mother for and we sent it a man. Adam had a makeup with another man in front of his daughter. Oh, that's so fine. That's so fine. It's amazing. Yeah, it is. To watch not only how she reacts and you'll want to see that when you tell somebody to do it. I don't know that I personally would have done it. Well, you own a warehouse, even though there's nothing in it. Nothing in it. So if you have things you want to store, I'm the man to call. How we told the story that I always tell about, I think, a son's breast. Hold on here from Georgia. That's when a young Jewish boy gets his foreskin removed. Oh, wow. Okay, wow. What a great moment. What a great moment. Yeah, what a great moment. I mean, you're really proud. Not for him, but I mean, for you, isn't it like it's a, it's a relic of seeing, right?

1:41:13You guys, everyone does it. Yeah, you're not in my God when I mean, and it's scary as shit, but I mean, it's, it's tradition. Yes. So you're okay with that. Yeah, when a young Jewish boy turns 24. Yes. Oh, no way. That's a little old. That's a little old. That's a little old. It's a three-week. It's like seven days, but here's the, here's the thing. So it's seven days and they have a ceremony where a rabbi or a moil will come over or a urologist will come over and slice the end of his penis until you now, you went to, oh, my gosh, you went it was fantastic. Oh, no, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's going to go. But anyways, traditionally, I'll tell you the story and then I'm going to tell you. So then traditionally, he puts it in a piece of gauze and then you're supposed to give it back to the earth. So the father goes outside and digs a little hole in the garden and puts it in the hole in the garden, which I did because I'm very traditional. Good. And a lot of people are at the house and it's a party, but I didn't know that my dog went back out, dug it up and then brought it back in and dropped it on the shoe of a guest who said, what's that?

1:42:13Oh, my God. So that's why we're here. That is why we're here. That is hysterical. I have a friend who, as you just mentioned, who's 24 years old, married a Jewish girl and decided to convert for her. Now, for a while, yes, you see what this is going. And you know, the, they're very, and I don't know a lot about Catholicism or that, but there are honors given to people in, you know, if you're asked, I would imagine to come up on the pulpit and speak or say something that's an honor in the church in the temple in the Jewish, an honor if you go to a brisk is to be asked while the oil does this to hold the baby's legs, you know, sometimes the father and law will hold the baby and do that. The honor doesn't feel the same when the guy's 24. That's true. I'm not going to put my beer down for that. Oh, it was really funny is my friend had a breast and you're from Georgia and his, his wife is from Oklahoma. Okay. And it's actually my manager's, my manager and his first son, they were going to have

1:43:17the breasts and all her sorority sisters flew out from Oklahoma. They had never, I don't think they've been to a, I don't think they've been now within a 10 mile radius of a Jew. Probably not. Right. So we're all sitting and eating and then you see the rabbi comes in and they go, oh, it's about to start. It's about to start now having been to these. If it's about to start, you kind of barely face it. You don't go to the front and they go, oh, it's about to start. They wanted to get good seats. Right. I saw all these, you know, young ladies, these sorority sisters making their way to the front of the room and you heard a prayer and then you watched, I watched one particular blonde girl because I just saw the blonde hair from the back just kind of wipe like a windshield wiper just to the left and then came back. She passed out on the floor. Oh my gosh. You know, one of his friends said, you know, Mike, you should feel very proud because the first time your son's dick is out in public. That's right. When passes out, that's, I got a, yeah, swooning is nice at that tender age, especially.

1:44:18I got to say like I would make a horrible elder when these things were going down, you know, in conception. You know what I mean? Like when all the guys with the beard sat around and the candles were lit and somebody said, you know, there should be a ceremony where we remove the poor skin. You need a physical sign of the covenant with God. You want to hear what I just said? About five pushups. No, I need to be a little more permanent. Ten pushups. A little more meaningful. Oh, I get it, I get it. I, as you prick your little finger there. Well, you're on a something with a prick. Yeah. What are you saying? It needs to be a little more of a sacrifice. You lose a part of your soul. Let's say we dump out like a chalice of wine or something like into the dirt, you know what I mean? That's what I like about. I was thinking we'd cut off part of the cock. Oh, at a very, very young age. So you go off into the woods and do this? No, no, we would gather everyone in the village together to watch a guy get his cock cut off. Not a guy, a baby.

1:45:19Okay, you know what? You just fucking weird out. I'm out of here. Where's the fucking tanning? Oh man. As somebody who is born and raised a Jew for you to bring me back to my roots and recreate this world. Now I understand my heritage and I feel, oh, you have not, you can't see, you know, tears. I know it's not going to make much of a sound because it's a tent with a flap on it, but I'm going to fucking slam that flap so hard when I walk it. You're going to feel a whoosh from that slight breeze. You're lucky, no one's invented a door yet or would shake this tent down to its core. Oh, good. You should Google. You should Google. I was just reading that there, I was googling in New York. There was a sect, a Jewish religious, Hasidic sect where they're stopping their, they're making the bris illegal in the way they do it. Google, somebody Google it because I'd like to read. Apparently, he would, in this sect say that he would suck the blood. Oh, yeah. Did you really hear about that? I did.

1:46:19Yeah, I heard about it. It would, it would be like a cut, I guess it's like a cut in a blow like that, like at a, yeah, be weird thing to walk. Oh, my God. Yeah. Like as if the guy got bit by snake or something like that. No, but they were, they were finding some babies at herpes. Does anybody see that on Google? There was a sect say New York sect, bris, is that it? Was it say baby dies of herpes in ritual circumcision by or the other? Oh, my gosh. But then does it tell the story about what? Oh, New York investigating the death of a, it's got to be a weird one where like years, years from now, years from now. Oh, yeah, our first born died of herpes, pretty active in college. No, it was a weak old. Woo, that kid got around. I know. I think if you get it from rabbi, it's considered herpes. Herpes, herpes. It's not so much herpes. By the way, the only good thing about herpes is getting it from your sister. Exactly. You get it from a rabbi. You heard it. Did you get herpes from your sister? No, I didn't.

1:47:20No, there was like a lot of stuff about my sister earlier that you missed. Yeah, that's sexual stuff. The point is, that's lose, lose, when you get it from the rabbi. Yeah, it is. It is. But you know something, it's it. But I don't want to, I'm very proud to be Jewish, but I think they put a, this is a different article. I think they put a, that stopped to, which is a good. Yeah, look, I, in a cotton ball. In a town where they can limit the sodas to 16 ounces, I think sucking off the seven-year-old can fall on some list somewhere too. But I think circumcision is a good thing, don't you? Seven months. I think it's healthy. I, I don't like it when people think it's not healthy. I'm like it's, it's very healthy. Very healthy. Okay. Yes. Because I am smegmaless. There's a way you could say that. You know what I just said, you're looking at me like what did you say? Yeah, I'm a little bit confused by that. Would you be happy? How can you be confused by that? I'm, I'm just confused. Because I'm, I'm circumcised. Oh, that's, is that the technical term for it?

1:48:20What, what? No, the smegmas something else. What is that? Well, first off, it, it sounded like, like, like one of the, one of the most, misfortunally named, um, Ro-Roman's ever. So, Lord of the Rings, guys. I am smeggamish. I really did. I really did. And they're like, the way they said it. Hey, all smegmaless. Hey, all smegmaless. Yeah. May his reign continue a million years. And smegmaless has come down from the mountain. A2 smegmaless. A2. That was wonderful. Oh, as you walk around in his sandals with his straps that go up to his knees. Wow. Smegmaless has, he is what's here. You were in this room earlier, weren't you, smegmaless? He calls for his trusty seat, uh, steed, uh, see them. Come here, steed, mutton, see them. Oh, working out. Yeah, you know, smegmaless. You know, smegmaless. You don't know smegmaless. Give me my phone. Oh, it's kind of, what it is. You shouldn't have any on your phone. And if you do, then don't touch it.

1:49:21It's kind of the stuff, you know, in the morning that's stuff by the side of your eye. I think I know where this is going. I mean, it's your stuff. Not the, not the guy's stuff. But, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. It's a kind of that stuff. That's it. Well, if you have a, no, not the stuff in the side of the eye. Well, I get where you guys are, the direction, the conversation. Because there's a foreskin. It's a, it's kind of like a, to go back. Oh, great. Okay, good to know. Thank you so much. I can't wait to tell my mom that I was like. Doesn't your mom listen to the show? My mom does not. She's traveling right now. Oh, that's why you're able to talk about your sister's anal. Probably, probably. My sister's in porn, by the way. Let's be in porn. Is she really? Yeah. Yeah. It's true. I'm not just going to give you my sister's name. I'm going to put some more. I found the line. Yeah. It's like if I wanted to tap into your bank account, I wouldn't just ask you for the password. I'd be like, hey, I'm going to hack this shit. I'm going to find it out. But your sister's obviously. She's clearly out there.

1:50:21I know. But it's clearly out there that she shared that she have a stage name. She does. Tell me your stage name. Spin, sir. Spin, sir. Hey, buddy. She wasn't. Playboy, Nasty. Play him with a girl. James State Court. James State Court. It's Spencer Scott. Spencer Scott. Mm-hmm. Oh, is that her? Yeah. That's your sister? It's my sister. Mm-hmm. Holy shit. How are you like lesbian porn? I do. I don't like, I talk to you when you were on the, on the love line. I can't watch regular, I only like lesbian porn. Yeah, you think about your son's press gone wrong. No, because I have no interest. If you want to see porn, I have no interest in seeing a dick. I don't normally defend the dick. Sure about to. But I'm about to. Yeah. I don't think it makes me any less a man that I like to see a man's honker. And if you like to see it. I like it.

1:51:21It's part of the package for me. You know what I mean? It's like the partially by the side of the porn plate. I'd miss it if it was gone. I don't really need it, but I'd miss it. I know, I know. I'm not judging you, Howard. Why did you see her sister? Yes. Sister is fantastic. Thank you. Mm-hmm. Have you ever done porn? No, oh my gosh, no. No, no, no. I would never. And your mother aware that she does this? She is, unfortunately. Is she okay with it? Well, no, she's in hair school, so we're like trying to like, transition her out. 41. Is she for you to rent that? No, it's the movie. It's one of the movies. Oh, oh. Tearschool 41. Yeah. Is that a porn that I'm not aware of? Well, let me check it out. Everything has a number. Okay. I got it out. Yeah. Yeah, a guy comes in to get his hair done. No, no, it's a girl. A girl? Oh, it's only a girl. Only does girls. Is she a lesbian or is that her way of, in her mind, staying, that she have heterosexual relationships? Yes. She likes guys. Right. She is a guy.

1:52:21That's great. I don't think Matt McConaughey is good enough to blow a dude on film if he's not into dudes. Do you know what I mean? Women have that kind of flexibility. Yes, women are fantastic. Does she make a good living? Yeah. Yeah, she makes a good living. Really? And then when she's with a guy, though, she only wants anal. What is that? I'm going to tell you you said that. I'm going to be like, hey. I'll tell her I said that. Can we phone? Do you have that kind of technology here? She's a guy she only likes anal. What's going on? She likes both. She's an equal opportunity person. Spencer Scott. I know that when I go home. I don't want to tell her business. But in terms of doing both, I have an order. I start with the vagina and I finish with the anal. That's an order. I'm sure he would respect that. You start with the vag and then you go to the back.

1:53:22But you don't go there. But if you did, like, cleanliness-wise, that could work out. Well, I don't know that is your issue cleanliness? No, I'm saying if I'm your sister, I would have an order. I love that. I mean, I would look an out for her. If you were sister. If you were sister. If he was doing your sister. Oh, that's lovely. Oh, there she is. Very friendly. She is. Are you guys close? We're close when she doesn't have a boyfriend. So she tried to talk you into being in a film with her. No. No, no, no. That would not be crazy. No, no, no. What am I? What am I? What am I? I'm sorry. Are you a drama school? Yeah. Did she? No. Yeah, she's the actress. Well, I am an actress, but she's a different kind of actress. But you're doing a podcast. She's doing film. Exactly. And she went to school. Exactly. You should have stayed in school. Look where you would have been. I should have. I should have. Oh, my gosh. Well, how would she salvage that relationship? Oh, it's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. Okay.

1:54:22All right. Howard. I'm bothered that she's wearing her shoes on the furniture. Yeah. That's so disrespectful. It is. Would you do that in your own home? No. How? How? Is this drive you insane when people I had to happen not since I've moved into the studio, but when I used to be on the sofa. There are people who sit by putting both feet up on the chair or the sofa or crossing their legs. And basically, they're putting their shoes on top of your sofa. You know what I'm talking about? I have a problem with shoes anywhere, like even in my... I'd like the whole... In your house. Just the bottom of shoes. When I go to New York, when I come back, I get a new pair of shoes. Really? I try. I don't know always. But I think walking the streets in New York, then all that shit's up on my shoes. Yeah. You bring it back. Yeah. How's the sanity going? I'm pretty sane. How do you sound sane? I am. I'm very... I told you we had to talk last time, which you don't believe in, but I'm Medicaid. No, we had a conversation. We got a little drunk on my... Mangria. A lot drunk. I got some of that drunk. I said when I came in, she had her flight on me. It was not intentional.

1:55:23These are really big jeans. And they're just like unzipped. The fly's done. At least I acknowledge it. That's how I tell the difference between you and your sister. What? If I meet your sister, the back of her pants are undone. Speaking of, I saw... I was... Grandma Santa, because of it. Sorry, go ahead. Where'd you go? I saw like 65-year-old badge in Palm Springs with no pants on, and I saw everything. Really? Yeah. Oh, you have... What a con-dropper! Sorry. Sorry. It's a con-dropper. I'm a con-won-up, or I said 71-year-old snatch the other day. I did once. It was horrible. No, I did. I went when my... When my wife was having our first child, it was my first time really uncomfortable. I was... My first time I went to the gynecologist, too. We were going to hear the heartbeat or see a sonogram or see something, and I'm waiting in the waiting room. She was going to go have a check-up, and I said, you know, and I waited in the waiting room. And then the nurse said, okay, Mr. Mandel, you can go in. It's room six. Oh, no. It wasn't room six. I walked into room six, and I walked into this...

1:56:26These legs were open wide, and I saw... It's just a lot of flesh. Wow. There was a lot of... Yes. It was like a grand canyon, and then there was this face. It came up. She looked up from the beginning. Oh, no. And she saw me, and I didn't want to say, I didn't want to make it. So I just gave her a thumbs up. Like I was checking also. The doctor said, you may want to take a look at this. So I made it like I took a look at it, and then I found my wife. She said, no deal. No deal. But it's really weird what happens. But I have a friend now who's making a fortune in a vaginal rejuvenation. That's a big thing now. Oh, yeah. They can give you a new hymen. You can't they really? Oh, yeah. You can be a re-virginized. Mm-hmm. It's just a hymen. It's just like a cellophane like a wrap. Like just a... The experimental loaf. But yeah. No, it's a... Why would you want a new hymen? Well, I don't want anything. But there's segments of this planet, some in the Middle East. Again, the people are...

1:57:26Others in the Asian parts of the world. Yeah. And there are things like rhino horn and, you know, hymen replacement surgery and things like that. Jump to the top of their list. You know what I mean? It doesn't make sense to us. You're aware of all these weird segments. Well, I'm saying... There are certain cultures where you have to marry a virgin. Yeah, that's... Oh, so the replacement counts. Or they wouldn't know. That's a way to hide your past. Yeah. You're hymen. I suppose. Your friend is doing a lot of work in the vaginal rejuvenation department. He is. He is. He does that. And, and he'll tighten things up or lift things up or move things around. I think he does whatever you need. I don't know what they do. I know that he's making a fortune doing it. What would they do? Like, if you were to have your vagina. Oh, no, mine's wonderful. I just gave a jazzled at this point. Oh, really? Is that like, a jazzled... So you have... Do you glue, like, shiny things onto it? Yeah, that's what you do. So wouldn't it be scratch? Like, wouldn't it be...

1:58:26But it's pretty. Like, it looks like my now. It's pretty, but, you know... The things you do. It's like, beauty is pain. Like, nothing's easy. But why should it be painful for the guy that wants to enjoy? Well, no. He's just like, it's more of a visual thing. Guys are visual. So like, they say, ooh, there's my name. Or whatever it is. But it's not permanent. So it's like, that's the best part. But hold on. Let me say this. He up in light. Howie. Have you ever seen a woman's vagina? And when, like, yeah, she was really hot. Yeah, she a really nice snatch. But it didn't look like a bass lure. There was nothing winking at me. There was nothing shiny. It was just kind of a vagina. I mean, just sort of sat there. You want something special. You want a name? You put the name of the... You have names on it? No, I don't. You said there's... Guys said there's my name. Oh, it was a joke. I don't actually do that. But I could if I wanted to. What is the shape that you've been dazzled yours with now? Mine's actually very bare. It's all natural. Going on natural right now. So it's been dazzled with flesh. Yes. Another person's flesh you could on to your... Wait, natural for a nine-year-old. Not natural. For a 24-year-old.

1:59:26That's not natural. It's completely unnatural. But you finally... If you shave it in the morning and you do something at five o'clock, do you not get a rash from the... Is there a five o'clock? Is it like Don Johnson down there? Totally. Like crazy rash. It's insane. It's pretty insane. It's like, can't wear a bikini. Let's just put it that way. Really? Yeah. Well, no, you know, before... Well, I'll make a couple cover up a lot of it. But I think it's a lot of it. I think it's a lot of it. You know, you shave, you're gonna shoot a movie or shoot a TV show. You gotta shave before you get out there. Right. But she doesn't do film. No, no. I just play a dominant atrix on Tosh.0 and I was on Minute Work last Wednesday. I do TV. Oh, come, sorry. I know. I'm selling her short. And you know what else? She does the news as well. And I think we'll get into that right now. How about it, Sid? Perfect. Okay, cool. So I really... We got it. We got it. We got it. We got an intro for it. Oh, I love that. The news with Sid Wilder. You know, I think my nipples are kind of sad.

2:00:27Oh, that was a great clip. Thank you for airing that. So a third grader's cut smoking weed in an elementary school bathroom. Wow. How amazing is that? I think that's a circle. So two eight-year-olds, one nine-year-older one eight-year-older smoking marijuana in an elementary school boys' room last week. Smoking in the boys' room is kind of like a... It used to be a song, Brownsville station. Right. But it's got a little bit of a lost art. Like, it's simpler times. Did they have a card? Did they have a... They need a medical marijuana card. Yeah. How do you know? Okay. No. A lot of them suffer from it. 80 HD. You know? No. Instead of riddling the mother sent them with a little announce. That's right. No, the kids had a pipe in a very small amount of marijuana that came from several sources. So no card. I don't know. See, the thing about getting high as a kid, I don't feel like you need to be high. I just feel like every day, how would you know an eight-year-old is high? Well, you wouldn't, but what I'm saying is, is when you're eight,

2:01:27all you have to do is go to Lego Land and you have your mind blown. Like, you don't need everything is incredible. You would learn that someone before you was named A. Blinken. And someone would tell you a story and it'd be like, your mind was blown. Like, every day you can discover something new, you can have your mind blown by just about anything. So then what you're saying is, then more than unhealthy, it's just redundant. You don't need it. When my kid's eight, I'll show him an episode of Dukes of Hazard and goes, this is the biggest show on TV and it's going, go, holy fuck, my mind is blown. You don't need to be high. We need to get a little older. That's when you need it. What about when you're going to the playground? That would probably be the only benefit I could say. Going on a swing when you're high. Like all the stress of playing, four square with the utility ball, things like that. Well, going on a swing when you're high on pot is not... Have you ever done pot? Probably not, no. I have done pot. Have you swam on pot? Swam? Like, you know, sorry. You know swimming. No, I do know swimming. You don't have to explain it. No, I don't. What happens when you swim on pot?

2:02:28Do it. Do it. Really? It's amazing. It's like being back in the world. Anything to do. Oh, it's amazing. You like to get high and go swimming. No, no, I don't really smoke pot, but my friends like awake and bake around it and it really is that to like three years into our friendship. Okay. So like, I had an edible at our house one time and we went swimming and it was pretty amazing. Tell me, describe what it is to go swimming high. You just have to do it. No, you have to describe it. It's just... How is that going to do it? I'm not going to... Oh, that's why I need to describe it. It's not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. You're a friend of the chick. She's a chick. Take it slow. Go ahead. You get slow. You just swim in your clothes or you just swim naked? I had a suit on. A suit. Yeah, like a swimsuit on. You know, I think my nipples are camera shy. Thank you. Yeah, and I just went swimming. It just feels like your just whole body is just like going in a wave and it's just so much fun. But you want to know something if you're not high and you're in the water, it feels like your whole body is going in a wave. It feels exactly like you're floating.

2:03:29Yes, and you feel like you're wet and all over. You feel like you can just like cross like... But you're saying the edible. Like eating the pots a little bit groufier than smoking the pot. Yeah, but you need to be careful. So eat the pot, jump in the pool. There you go. That's your saying. Totally. How was the last time you smoked pot? Honestly, I was in Amsterdam about two months, three months ago. Really? I would think that with your personality construct, you would not want to get high. I usually don't, but I was in Amsterdam and I was... I went to a coffee shop. And that's what you do in the coffee shop. But I kept going into coffee shops and I didn't want to be... There was always an American there. Sure. So I found one, like far off the beaten path. And it seems to me that what they have there in Amsterdam is a lot stronger than what we have here in America. Because first of all, I kind of... Amsterdam is not my hometown and I didn't know where I was. So I knew that my hotel was like two blocks over

2:04:30from the Heineken... I saw the Heineken sign in a bar and I went down... And then... Anyway, I got high. Get down Frank's house, you went too far. I got really high. And then I tried to... I spent the rest of the night trying to find my hotel because every corner has a Heineken sign. Right. And I didn't know where I was. And the end Frank, you know what people don't talk about? How fascinating it is that how long did she hide? Years? I don't know. Four years or something. Four years? I don't know. From miles away, there are signs that say, Anne Frank's house with arrows and everything. How did she hide? How do you... Oh no, no, no. Oh no, I think they put the arrows up after. Oh. I don't know. Oh. But all those things where it's like, you know, the same with like, have you ever been there, Sid? No, what do I go? You know she hid. I know. But they have signs from miles away. That's the point to... Like the hot like the like the map of the stars and stuff like that. Yeah, but it's Anne Frank's house with an arrow. So how did they not find her? I don't know. I have to check into it because you know,

2:05:30I went through the groundlings and yes, and is my normal mode. But I think some of those signs may have won up after World War II and stuff. Yeah, right. So I got high. I always thought about the person that dropped the dime on Anne Frank. Like the person, ultimately with a short period of time left in the war, some good Samaritan was like, yeah, there's an emaciated 13-year-old Jewish bronze living in the anac over there at 50, 1500 L. So anyway, she'll see. You may want to go check that out. Hey, I'd hate for this war to end without you exterminating her. I mean, who's the person that dropped the dime? I don't know. We aren't just two away from six million. We are just two away. Yes. Come on people. Let's go now. Those are my people. Yeah, it's very sad. Very sad. It is. And when you go see the room, it's just devastating.

2:06:31It's devastating. So you got to go out and get high. I'm not going to get high and then go to Anne Frank's place. I'm going to see Anne Frank's place, have a Heineken, then get high. I heard a story about, I love Mel Brooks and Mel Brooks and and Bankroff went to see Auschwitz. Do you know this story? Yeah. I mean, no. I mean, I know who they are and I know what they're doing. He went to see Auschwitz. They went to see his heritage. And the night before the tour, they had a horrible fight. And Bankroff and Mel Brooks and they just weren't speaking. They woke up in the morning and the car that they had gotten picked them up took them through Auschwitz. They didn't say a word to each other. And it was very emotional and very moving. And then they get back in the car and they're driving back to the hotel. And I guess the emotion moved her and Anne said, you know, Mel, I'm so sorry. I just want to apologize for the fight and he turned to her and he goes, great. Now that you're ruined, Auschwitz for me. All right. Next, Darryl. What do we got?

2:07:31Oh my gosh, I love the story. Okay. So, I do. Dean Sue's parents were cash, college tuition. Does she have a case? A New Jersey teenager claiming that her mother and father tossed her out of their home and cut her off financially and she's suing them for immediate support for her current private school fees in future college tuition. Mm-hmm. I think that's so funny. I don't know. How is it raising kids? Your son's a little bit older. My kids are older. My kids are older and one word, bitch. She's a little bitch. She's a little Jersey. She's a big bitch. You know what? The thing is that he, no, I don't think they owe her money. And I think it's ridiculous. And I think that I was watching the case yesterday and I think that they're, they're siding with the parents. But it was the toughest thing raising, raising kids. And my daughter has come back to me now. She's about 30 now. So she's going to be 30. She's come back to me and went, how did you not kill me? How did you? Mm-hmm. Oh. Yeah.

2:08:31It's true though, right? Right. And we're crazy. So this little bitch is crazy. Why would they have to, I don't know. It's like a bad harbinger for our society and the way it's going. And it's weird. And I don't know how much you got into this with the kids or growing up or whatever. But twice a week, I tell my kids, you know, they go, daddy, how come you don't have to, what I want to go? Because I pay for everything. That's why I don't have to, whatever. The other day, literally walking down the street, looking nice little community and we're going to eat, we're going to eat. And I said, daddy wants barbecue. And everyone started complaining. By the way, this is why the terrorists hate us. Dad just wants some fucking ribs and brisket and you're like, oh, the humanity. I'm like, grilled meat. Yeah, I said, we're eating barbecue and they all went, and my daughter, Sassy, you know, she's seven. She said, let's take a vote because she knew it was her, my wife and my son.

2:09:34And you knew how this vote was going to go. Let's take a vote. Who wants barbecue and who doesn't want barbecue? Who wants Italian food and all the three hands flew up? And I just pulled my wallet out and I said, I'm voting and I held my walled up. And I said, I'm paying for everything. That's how tyranny works. That's how my vote works. I don't care about your votes. Thank you. That's how tyranny works. It is. And it works. The name for third stripper sister, tyranny. She's actually a lesbian. Uh-huh. You have another sister. Yeah, but she's not like that. She's a writer and she's like, hates everybody. And lesbian writer. Yeah. Curse of? No, that's not her forte. She's really good at writing. She, cock muncher was a script that she just sent me. Cock muncher. Yeah. And is this for a Disney? Uh-huh. Baron. Baron von. Do you have it here? Cock muncher? It's on my phone. Can we see it on your phone? Let's just do a scene from cock muncher. Oh my God. Read one scene from cock muncher. I'd like to do that. Yeah, go get it.

2:10:34You're really? Pull your phone out. Okay. Pull your phone out. Wow. So this is written. This is a great opportunity. You should call her to listen. But writer would kill for this kind of exposure. Yeah, especially with someone acting. Has she had anything to do with Adele? Has she had anything to do with Adele? Has she had anything to do with Adele? No. She had rug munchers in development. She sent you this with the hopes that you would show Adam. No, that she wanted me to film one of her scenes. And so she just sent me like a quick little scene from it. And I don't think I can use it for every book. So she's doing cock muncher and she said this will be perfect for my sister. Yeah. Okay. I have to find it though. Fudge Packers in turn around. Yeah, we would have we would be happy to read a scene from that. Oh, girl. How many girls are in your family? Just 100. Don't you? We're all for, you know what I'm just going to say. Is your father alive? Yes, he is. And how is he with the? He actually favors my sister in porn. He likes the porn. Yeah, you save more than me. Why do you say that? He loves her. She can do no wrong.

2:11:34He's over a compensating. He's over a compensating. He's over a compensating. He's over a compensating. For her hair school and he did not pay one dime for my school. Really? I had to put myself through my drama school. Yes. This, this, this, this fucking idiot is on Tosh. I know I got a daughter who does lesbian porn. Now that's, yes, keeping the family name alive. Does he use the family name? No. 20 grand. He had to pay for it. For her hair school. And I'm like, Dad, I need, and then I don't need it. How many files are you going through to find? Too bad. How deep into the files. I found it. Can I just see? Yeah. All right. You can do the next news story while, how he looks up an appropriate scene for us. I would be happy to do the odds. It's actually not too inappropriate. So Arby's bought for all Williams hat on eBay $44,000. Oh, the hat. Yeah. The famous hat he wore, the Vivian Westwood hat. It's like five story, a fedora for short people. Yeah. I think it's kind of a horse hat from Bonanza. It's all called a buffalo hat. I don't know what that means, but that's why I saw it called. I had some of that.

2:12:34Yeah. They spent how much? $44,000. From the one that he was wearing at the Oscars? Yeah. No, the Grammys. Oh, but then he was, didn't they pull one off at the Oscars as well? Yeah. He wore one there for sure. Uh-huh. That's where I saw the online betting before the Oscars. Like Wilferrell wear a buffalo hat, yes or no. Oh. All right. All right. Oh, I see R.B.s. Yeah, they've got the same hat. Right. Nice. It's going to look sweet and loose-site case and a rich white guy's entry hole. That's pretty funny. Mm-hmm. Okay. And R.B.s one of these places where I knew that R.B.s was around for 23 years and then I did the R.B.s. And then I did the, oh, roast beef. Oh, R.B.s. R.B.s. Yeah. I've had that happen a few times in my life. Would you wear that hat? I'd actually like to see you in it. Hi, I shall. Cock munchers is only four pages long. I said it's a scene from it. It's a scene from it. It's a scene from cock munchers. It's not the whole thing. Yeah. And the she wants you to be the same.

2:13:34Well, just like for my real, because like, you know, for your real. Yeah. But I was like, no. Oh, my God. Yeah. Well, I was just trying to like help her. I was like, okay, cool. Look at it. I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it. How it's water marks. I don't think about stealing it. Yeah. Let's do the scene. Let's do the scene. Okay. Well, I don't have it. I know. Okay. I don't know. I don't have it. Yeah. We'll heat that, my God. Okay. Not again, Brian. Here we go. It's really hard to look at my screen because it's got that protector thingy on it. Yeah, I can't see it. It's black. I now set, set it. I'm going to set up the. Okay. It's an interior bedroom. You could start the music. An interior bedroom morning. Uh-huh. Girl is sleeping. Guy walks in carrying a CVS bag in a day's. There's a bag in a day's? I guess so. He sits on the edge of the bed. You awake? Seely.

2:14:34Seely, you awake? No. Are you asleep? No. What's a cock-muncher? What? What's a cock-muncher? It's a Y. What is it? I have no idea. I'm trying to put it together in my head. Wow. This is really good. Why? Oh my god. What time is it? Did you go out? I was coming back from the store and some homeless guy on the street called me a cock-muncher. Looked at me a certain way and then he just disappeared. This isn't morning conversation and he just like vanished into thin air. He walked off. Well, let's find out what it means. She reaches under the bed, pulls out an iPad, moves her hand across the screen, and the guy changes his shirt.

2:15:36Yeah. It's really good. Nora, Efron, look out. That's it. Wow. She is good. She brings you right in. It's like we're at thank you. Please. Good job. Thank you. Let me just give her a pair of the ultimate compliment. I close my eyes and picture two people can act sitting on a food time. You nailed it. I did. It was like I was there. But this isn't. Who writes that? This will be great for my sister's real. I don't know. She was just trying to be nice of a bad girl. You got to get her into porn. We got it. Let's get her on the phone and give her some notes on this scene. She would kill me if I did that. Why? She already hates me. So it's like adding that extra layer that's like not... You just went from she's trying to help you to the she hates you. Well, she thinks, you know, because she's writing for this company that does that like for actors and stuff. Like they write scenes for actors for like the real and stuff. So there's a place called Samuel French and you can go in and get like streetcar name desire and then you just read that. Why? When you get cock munchers from her sister's true.

2:16:37Every good real needs that. I know how to disappoint the cast. What kind of business is this? What's the name of that company? I don't know. I don't know. I really don't know. They write scenes for actors. Yeah. Well, don't worry. I said no one listens to this part. Good. That's perfect. That's perfect. More news? Wow. Yeah. Let's do it in our start. I'm intrigued on the scenes for actors part. Yeah. Because I feel like there's scores and scores of plays and movies. There's no names. There's no names. It says guy and girl. It's very specific. It's called cock munchers. Oh. That's like, it's a good name though. It's a good start. Cock munchers. For me, it's a better finish. That was a good one. That was a good one. Thank you. Okay. Robbery, victim left in a trance. German police, a pair of robbers who are hypnotized by a woman before stealing jewelry. Oh, really? Yeah. They're two female hypnotists. Yeah. They're hunting them. I like how they use hunting. That's charming. Do you guys feel like it's just a joke? Do you guys feel like it's mainly dumb people who've been hypnotized?

2:17:42Well, especially if you're going to be robbed. You're walking down a dark alley. And two feet behind you, there's a guy following you with a pendant. Right. With that pendant. Look at this. No, I don't want to. You're getting sleepy. Yeah. I don't want to look. Who are you? Please look at this. You're getting sleepy. Why is he making me look at it? You're getting close your eyes. I can't walk with my eyes closed. Yeah. That's exactly what it's like you were there. Yeah, exactly. It's everything. They're in this guy's house, right? It was a girl, actually. I mean, they hypnotized a girl. Yeah, but they ended up, like she ended up in her house. Yeah. Oh, they got her back. Uh-huh. They like had her in a trance there and took everything. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. It happens. I know. Really? No, it's never happened. It really is. It never happened. And by the way, the easier way to do that, how he's just a cordless drill with the circle in the line that just keeps getting smaller and smaller toward the center.

2:18:42And you just fire that up. But once they stare at that, like the other limits thing. Yeah, I've learned from watching cartoons. You get sucked in almost immediately into that. Uh-huh. That's what he's talking about. Yeah, she's got one on her for Johnny. What are you talking about? Hello. She does. Where did the hello come out of? For Johnny? Well, that's amazing. All right, let's bring it home, baby girl. All right. No one knows that means he's done. That means it's done, right? Yeah, there it goes. She's got it. No, I resign off line. You know, I think my nipples are camera shy. That was the news with Sid Wilder. All right. Me, catch a contractor on Spike. Premiere, uh, two big fat episodes at 10 o'clock on Sunday. So if you want to see the new show, check that out. Howie Mandel, deal with it. Second season, premieres Wednesday. March 19th. I think it's Tuesday. Is that Wednesday? So it's Wednesday. It is Wednesday. It is the 19th. TBS website, howiemandel.com. You can Twitter him at Howie Mandel. At Howie Mandel. I'll tweet live during the show, too. Spread the word.

2:19:42Bless you, Sid Wilder. New sketch, by the way. If you GPS, could talk and find that on youtube.com. Slash, Sid with Y. Sid Wilder and website, SidWilder.com. Twitter at Sid Wilder. Thank you very much, Sid. Great job. Thank you, Daddy. I'm going to go. Until next time, time for Kuro for Howie Mandel. Sid Wilder. Bold Brian. Sand. Mahalo. I am smegmaless. All right, those Adam Kool-A-Sho 1276 with Sid Wilder on news from 2014. Coming up next, we have Adam Kool-A-Sho episode 17 with Seth McFarland. This is from March of 2009. Very early on in the podcast. Seth telling his 911 story. Rivaling even the 2004 telling on loved ones. Hope you guys enjoy. The very first time somebody saw somebody die, they went holy shit that Boulder could have landed on me.

2:20:43Or that Sabertooth Tiger could have taken me. It's always a Sabertooth Tiger. Yeah. So, woolly mammoth could have trampled me or worse raped me. So, the point is, it's starting to feel like the Flintstones here. People went, that bird was a garbage disposal or the pig or whatever it was. Point is, as somebody said, look, we better come up with something because I can't sleep at night. Because I'm worried about a Boulder landing on me. And then, you know, God forbid pardon the pun, but when you have kids. Well, right now your daughter thinks that you're God and you know everything. Right. And when she gets old enough to realize that you're just as fucked up as the rest of us. Maybe more. That's right. She'll say, you know, you know, unless she thinks about it a little more, she'll say, boy, I need something to fill that hole. Right. Oh, yeah. Uncle Seth is going to come by and explain to you about decomposition and being eaten by worms.

2:21:44But the point is, when you have kids, then you really, it really kicks in. Like, if something should happen to my child, that feeling of, you know what? The Lord had a plan. He wanted her or him to come with him. You know, blah, blah, blah. We'll be reunited somewhere at some point. I can understand that that's powerful. Yeah. I mean, because there could be nothing more devastating and nothing, there's no equal to that in terms of dealing with that as a human being. And I understand why we needed to block those out. Why we needed to block that out as human beings. And I wish I could buy into it, but I can't. I think you can still have, I mean, you know, the best scientists in the world will say at the end of the day on this issue, you know what? We don't fucking know. And you can still have a sense of wonderment and you can appreciate, you can be positive and optimistic and appreciate, you know, the mystery of it all. There is a way, you know, Carl Sagan was that kind of guy.

2:22:47He was such an upbeat guy who, you know, on his deathbed was like, no, I still think this is it. Right. He still did not believe in. Yeah. At the same time, he was so taken with everything and the task of finding out the real answer. Well, and listen, I agree. And I would say to all my religious friends who insultingly asked me what's the stop me from stabbing somebody or raping this. But that's, but that's, that's, that's religion notoriously claims that they invented morality. They didn't morality morality exists in animals, you know, the golden rule, you have bats who, you know, if one bat is sick and the other ones, you know, gets some extra food for them when he gets well and another one gets sick, there's the expectation that he's got to do the same. I agree. Religion caninize morality. They were the first people to write it down. Right. Yeah, no, I, I agree. They act like they invented it and it's to me it's built into your construct and it's all under the no shit umbrella.

2:23:49Millions examples in nature. It's hardwired into us. Yes. I mean, obviously you don't do horrible things to other people because it's wrong, not because some deity is told you that it's wrong. But the thing that's interesting about this and I always bring this up, you were bound for one of those 9-11 flights that flew into the tower. And I love the fact that you don't give a shit about it. And that's exactly how I would be, which is it was just happenstance and circumstance and you missed your flight and the flight didn't miss one of the towers. But most people would go on a crusade about it or lecture, you know, it's because we're kids about it. We're, as they say, we're significance junkies. We want to attach significance to everything. This must have happened for a reason. And that's just not the case. It's not, it's not coincidence. It's Julius Wienys, one woman show. She beats this into the into the ground. Coincidences do happen. They do happen. No, and it's the ultimate form of narcissism to say this happened to me for a reason.

2:24:55Because if it happened to you for a reason, what about the other 250 people that flew into the fucking tower? Exactly. That happened to them for a reason? Exactly. Were they bad people? Exactly. I love that concept of, I must have been spared for a reason. Yeah. Well, I'm sure the 189 people on the plane and the 3000 people on the tower would love to hear the reason why you were fucking spared to one and bang another 22 year. So they were hostess. Exactly. They were plenty of people on that plane who are much more, you know, they had kids. Yeah, exactly. They had life at a purpose. Yeah, exactly. That's a good way to put it. That is a, that is a, that is a, you know, yeah, I, it is, it is, it's narcissistic to think that you're here for a purpose. Yeah. Well, and I, other than the one you, you, you decide for yourself. Right. And so you were in Boston. Mm-hmm. And you were booked on which flight? On flight 11 out of, out of Logan.

2:25:56Out of Logan, yeah. And there was that the first one and the second one. There was the first one. The first one to hit the tower. And you were in Boston doing what? I was in, I was actually down in Providence, which is about 40 minutes out of Boston doing a lecture at my old college. And I overslept and the, you know, the driver picked me up from the hotel and was literally like breaking traffic laws to get me there on time. It's ironic now when you think about it that he was hustling to get you to the grave. Yeah, exactly. It's just running red. So it's ethnic parliament wouldn't do another season of the family guy. Which I'm sure the parents television council, I'm sure wishes to be at me. It would have been nice if that guy had just done the ride on the red. Exactly. So this guy is making, I mean, he's supposed to pick you up at what time? He, he, uh, well, the flight was, was scheduled for, for, um, uh, 745. And I, yeah, and I had, my, my, this was a couple of the fact that my travel agent had written 815 on the itinerary that I had.

2:26:56It was like a half hour off anyway. And I'm already running late. I get there and I get to the, I get to the counter and they said you to let you to late. We just closed the gate, you know, and I'm like, ah, alright, I'm a little hungover anyway. Right. Get the 11 o'clock, got a ticket, went to, waiting the lounge, fell asleep, and then woke up, you know, 45 minutes later. Now what time did you get to the airport? I was, I was probably there, uh, probably by like close to, close to eight. And it was 745 flight. And the driver showed up on time, right? Or, no, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, 78815 was my thought it was. So I got there probably like, I almost had like 730. And, and so the flight was still there when you got there. And the driver showed up on time. He was just hanging outside the motel hotel that you're at. Yeah. Waiting for you to wake up, get you to get together and get down there. And I, you know, the other thing is I, I had missed many flights before then. Yeah.

2:27:56Like this is the first flight I had missed. I missed flights, morning flights, I missed all the time because I just don't like to get up early. Right. Now I know that about you. But, can I ask you, the first off, um, it's kind of funny, but I was just, I was just thinking about this like, um, one time, uh, Dr. Drew and myself were doing, I think it was the Donnie and Marie show. And Pam, I've not the first show, not in the seventh show. Not, not, not in 1976, but they got together and did a talk show, a syndicated talk show. And like, I don't know, uh, 99 or 97 or whatever it was. And we were supposed to go on the show. And Pam Anderson was the lead guest. And Pam Anderson was late. And evidently Pam Anderson is notoriously late. And so we were on time and we had to wait around for a long time to do the show. And then she came on and then she went on first. And we went on and then later on, Pam Anderson was a guest on Loveline when it was on MTV.

2:28:58And she of course was late again. And I just was going, not saying we're going to start the show. And we're not going to wait for her because we're a nailers. We're essentially, she gets to be late wherever she goes all the time. And no one says shit to her because she's Pam Anderson. Now Seth McFarland is late. Constantly. Constantly. Constantly. Most places he goes. I know this from doing family guy voice over work. He's always late. But with the ultimate excuse. Because when Pam Anderson is late, it's like, hey bitch, what the fuck you're holding everyone up? When Seth McFarland is late, he gets to go, you want to know, let me tell you another time I was late, son. And thus in your brain, you're not only equated. Wow. I got to know that. I got to know that. I got to know that. I got to know that. Because they're late. Right. I mean, it's not that people, you know, people give you a sort of celebrity pass. They don't bust your chance too much. You were a little bit late tonight. I have to give you a tough time about it.

2:29:58But you were here because you were late. Like it literally saved your life. It's really a horrible mix message to send yourself. Yeah. But if anyone has an excuse for being late, well, you know, the weird thing was I, what I remember is, once they started, you know, once everyone kind of blinked and said, you know, after we took our eyes off the TV and said, all right, wait, now what do we do? My thought was, wait, these guys were just here in the airport. Did they leave a little, you know, jokies, smurf, surprise package, you know, here. Right. You know, we should probably, you know, they started hustling everyone out. And I'm like, that's, that's something that kind of- They started hustling everyone out of the airport. Yeah, they evacuated the airport. And they evacuated the airport just because it's like we got to do something. No problem. And we know what to do because those guys were there. And, you know, I mean, who knows? Oh, who left a bomb? Yeah. Who left a bomb? Yeah. Because they just all passed through Logan. I'm sorry. When you said they, I thought you meant the passengers.

2:30:59Yeah. You mean the terrorists? Yeah. Just all passed through this airport moments earlier. Mm-hmm. That'd be goddamn, I mean, for all the screeners and all the guys working security and everything, they had to be totally surreal to them. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I, you know, nobody knew what to do. And I'd say it was, it was, it was, there was one little moment that was, uh, oddly, you know, just a little, uh, remember those little speck of, uh, speck of warmth and all of that was, I walked up to the bar at like, you know, after, we'd, you know, this was probably about like 930 when we had seen it on the news. Yeah. People were starting to kind of do the math. Yeah. And walk up to the bar and I said to the bartender, uh, you know, it's a tour, too early for a scotch. And he goes, no, no, it's on the house, pal. It's a special. Wow. Kind of old West exchange. Really? Yeah. At the end of the day. Two fingers, two fingers playing. Exactly. Yeah, that is, uh, awesome. I, I, uh, and by the way, did your brain, I mean, uh, we're talking about not being able to shut it off and not being able to, I mean, most people would have just been in this weird field.

2:32:07And we had a lot of this weird, fugue state of sort of numbness at the end of their fingers and that kind of stuff. For you, I imagine you weren't that way. I mean, even though you knew you should have been dead at this moment, in a ball of flames and the side of that building. It was lucid and aware? Yeah. Yeah. I was. I was, I was, I was, what was going through my head was, was, was gratitude toward the travel agent who had made the mistake. Right. And, and, you know, gratitude toward the Jack Daniels that I consumed the night before. Right. Because you would have been late, probably, probably anyway. Yeah. But never, never, and, and never a, never a feeling of, now I'm on a mission. No. I mean, now I must go forth and I've been touched by whoever I'm not, I'm not chosen. Not for a second, no. You didn't have a second at that. That's what I love about you. Not on tune. I love that part that you don't feel special. Because, again, it's, you know, as there were other people that missed that flight and I, like I said, I've missed other flights before this.

2:33:11It's not, if, it, it, it, I mean, somebody, somebody misses every flight. Right. There's always, there's always someone person who misses every flight. Yeah. And on this one, I happen to be, could it, could it just as easily have been somebody else? I have a few questions, by the way, because we sort of, no, no, no, no, no, because we didn't, we didn't, we didn't, I, I put it up on the website. I want to know if people had questions for you because I know you have a big presence out there. And a couple of questions. First off, Malenko wants to know, a family guy, the movie. Yeah. Come on out. It's, it, it, it, it, it will be, I can say with almost definitive assuriveness that it, it will be out. It's, it's, will be within the next few years, I hope. And hopefully on the earlier side of that, but we are, we already know actually what it's going to be. You do. Yeah. What do you mean what it's going to be? Well, it's, we, we, we've been trying to lock into something that makes it so that it has to be a movie.

2:34:13Right. I know. I mean, I suppose to an extended family guy. Yeah. And I, you know, and I, I liked the Simpsons movie, but with animation, you know, that's a story they could also do on TV, because there's not like they're constrained by sets. I, I love the Simpsons, but I didn't see the movie because people just said, well, it's essentially a long Simpsons episode. It is, but, but, you know, with, with that medium, I mean, what, how do you do, you know, what else can you do? So yeah, you have to find some way to make it so that it, it's, it has to be a movie. And well, the family guy sort of experimented a little with live action working into the animation. And, and of course, the big musical numbers and stuff like that. So are you hinting that it's something that is different than what would be a 90 minute family guy episode? It will not be a 90 minute family guy episode. Little live action worked in possibly, possibly here in there music for sure. Yep. Also, let's see, Bill wanted to know about the family guy getting back on Fox, the chronology.

2:35:19It ran for two seasons? For three seasons. Three seasons. And then, and then got canceled and canceled for two years. Mm-hmm. And then came back in 2004. And, and what was the decision to bring it back? Was it the adult swim thing? It was a combination of the fact that the adult swim reruns were beating Leno and Letterman in the male demographics. You know, most nights and the DVD sales were suddenly picking up as a result. Right. And it was, you know, it was just allowing the show to, to, to, to, you know, to give it time. Which is what they don't do that anymore with TV. If a show is not a hit right off the bat. Right. And it's, it's, it's, it's toast. And it's, and it's, you know, Seinfeld is a perfect example of why the old system works. Seinfeld was a show that kind of lingered, you know, for just kind of sat there for a while. Nobody was watching. And somebody at NBC said, no, creatively, I think this is good. I'm not just looking at the numbers.

2:36:19I'm, I'm, I'm just a funny show. Let's, I think it's going to catch on. Which is, which people don't do anymore in that business. They just don't make, they, they, they, they, they, they look at the numbers and that's it. And it's like monkeys could do that. You know, you know, if you, if you're a creative executive, have an opinion, take a stand, even if you're wrong. Right. You're still, it's a noble failure. Well, you know, look, the thing I don't understand about most of stuff is, you know, they always talk about when you're running a business, the first three months you hire somebody, it costs you money because you have to train them and you have to acclimate them to the position and so on and so forth. And then you have a certain amount invested in that person. And if that person quit every six months, you'd be losing a ton of money because you're spending a bunch of money just getting them up and running essentially. And you know, when they spend millions of dollars, getting these shows sort of up and running, yanking the plug this quickly, it's counterintuitive.

2:37:19Because you think yourself, look, you've made this investment, let it pay off. But you have to let it breathe a little bit. Now listen, if it's a turd, it's a turd. Yeah, pull the plug. The one place that does that without fail is HBO. Right. HBO will stick with something until, and if you look at one show after another on HBO that nobody, you know, gives a shit about at the beginning, eventually becomes something that is talked about. Right. Right. Right now it's, it's big love people are talking about. Right. And I'm going to, under the radar for a while. And I said, but they just stick with stuff and it works for them. Yeah. And I agree and maybe they have that luxury, maybe they can. All right, those Adam Colis show episode 17. That does the praise pool of classics. Make sure to and tomorrow we're all in installment. Until then, follow and get it off. And we'll see you in the next one.

2:38:49That is so fast. Podcasting isn't just about talking. It's about growing and gauging and monetizing. And that's where Podcast One Pro comes in. Whether you're an independent creator or a major brand, Podcast One Pro gives you the tools you need to make. It gives you the tools you need to take your podcast to the next level. We're talking about premium hosting, advanced analytics, dynamic ad integration and expert distribution, all designed to maximize your reach and revenue. Plus with access to Podcast One's industry leading network, you'll be connected to top tier advertisers and a massive audience. So, time to go pro and turn your passion into profit.

2:39:49Visit PodcastOnePro.com to get started today. Podcast One Pro, the power behind the podcast. Hello and welcome to Pluto foe. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto TV. We're all your bloodbusters favorites are landing all summer long. Catch anchor man, the legend of Ron Burgundy. Fantastic. The Matrix trilogy. Welcome to the real world. Mean Girls. Sidebar. Titanic. On the key in the world. And so much more for showtime. Express nothing. They're free 24-7. That is so a f**k. On Pluto TV, stream now. Pay never.