Shanna Moakler Is In Love, But Regrets Doing THIS For Her Ex-Husband

0:00This is an I Heart Podcast. Guaranteed Human. Starting a new chapter means paying attention to the small things like higher ice feel. If you're struggling to find relief from gritty dry eye, consider my bow. AKA per floral hexal octane, ophthalmic solution. The only prescription dry eye drop that directly targets the number one cause of dry eye. Too much tear of operation. Ask your eye doctor about my bow. Oh yeah. Don't use it for allergic to my bow. Remove contacts before using and wait at least 30 minutes before putting them back in. Eye redness and blur vision may occur. For info on my bow, call 1-800-553-53040 or visit m-i-e-b-o-dot-com. This message is sponsored by Regeneron and Santa Fe. Janicramer does not have direct experience with the product advertised. As the mother of a child who has eczema, I know how hard it is to watch your child struggle.

1:00It's frustrating trying everything from home remedies to topical prescription creams. But when you're a mom, you never stop trying. If you feel like your child's moderate to severe eczema is an under control with topical prescription therapies, it could be time to ask their doctor about duPixen duPilliumab. DuPixen works inside the body helping to block a key source of inflammation that can cause eczema flare-ups on the outside. DuPixen helps your child stay ahead of their eczema symptoms with clear skin and less itch, and it's not a steroid or immunosuppressant. DuPixen can be used for children as young as six months. Severe allergic reactions, including skin reactions, can occur. Get help right away for face, mouth, tongue, or throat swelling, weezing or trouble breathing. Tell your doctor right away of new or worsening eye problems like eye pain or vision changes, skin symptoms, joint aches, and pain, or a parasitic infection. Don't change or stop other treatments without talking to your doctor. Visit duPixen.com to learn more.

2:01This message is brought to you by Ralph's. If you're into entertainment podcasts, you know it's all about the details that pull you in and keep you engaged. The right details make everything feel seamless. And even when plans change, Ralph's makes it easy to shift to dinner, so you can still get something on the table and keep the rest of your night on track. Order online and pick up groceries at your local Ralph's. Ralph's serving so cal for over 150 years. It's like Leo knows every time a Just Food for Dogs delivery shows up at our door. The second I bring the box inside, he's right there, tail wagging, ready for meal time. One of the reasons I love Just Food for Dogs is that it's made with real human-grade ingredients you can actually see. Things like beef, chicken, sweet potatoes, green beans, carrots, and peas. Nothing mysterious, just fresh food I feel good about feeding him. It's also the number one that recommended fresh dog food and is backed by more than a decade of research

3:02and six published studies, which gives me so much confidence as a dog mom. Since switching, I've noticed Leo is more excited at meal time, has great energy, and just seems happier overall. And with summer travel, their just fresh meals have been a game changer. They're shelf stable, so I don't have to worry about packing a cooler, ice packs, or making room in a freezer. We can keep Leo on the same feeding routine whether we're at home or away. Visit Just Food for Dogs.com and get 50% off your first order. Hey, I do part two. It's your host, Joanna Kramer, and today I get to connect with a woman who is feeling her best in chapter two

4:05and helping other women to do the same in this next phase of life. She is in her chapter two, just like all of us. She had a high profile marriage to blink 182 drummer, Travis Barker, and now she's found love again. She's an actress, a mother, and the founder of Hello Foxy. Please welcome Shana Mokler to the pod. You know, I am so excited to chat with you for many reasons, but one being I am so in the start of Perry, Montepas. I can't even, honestly, I have another podcast called Wine Down, and I was talking with my girlfriends. I'm like, I don't know what's happening. I am everyone saying my blood works fine, or this is what I wasn't doing in the right time. I felt I have felt so out of body, and something is wrong. I've been chat GPTing, what is wrong with me? Am I crazy? What's happening? Then everyone's, it's just my age, I'm 42.

5:07A lot of women are like, that's when it happened for me. What happened for you? What do you mean? Now as I was going through my notes and you've started Hello Foxy, I'm so excited because it's like you're helping everything from menopause symptoms to skin wellness. Is there anything for Perry, Montepas? You don't even understand, I am so proud. Just a little background, I really always looked up to Suzanne Summers. I mean, who hasn't? My mom was watching her from the workouts to everything. She was the first woman who really pioneered menopause and anti-aging for women, and really wrote those books and really opened the dialogue because my mom was just like raw-dogging it. She was just roughing it. I look back now and I mean, and she was having those hot flashes and I was like, get over it, woman. Now I'm like, oh my God, I'm so mean to my mom. Well, she hasn't. But to answer your question, not only do I have Perry, but I have Perry, I have Pre-Perry and Post.

6:11I'm actually going to be offering three separate systems for women. Someone like yourself, you're actually really young, but women can go into menopause as early as like 28 years old. My mom was 33, which is why I had freaked out because I wanted to have kids. I'm like, oh my God, my mom's going to have, I'm going to have the same thing happen. Now that it didn't, but I mean, yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, and what are the first signs? Women don't even understand. A lot of the times, women, when they're going into like Perry, menopause, they have maybe like hot flashes at night. Or they're gaining a little weight, or their hair's getting a little thinner. And they just think it's stress, or they think it's anxiety, or they just have no idea that it's actually their hormones that are changing. And one of the pharmacists who work within my company in Hello Foxy, her name's Jessica Patrone. She's an absolute genius pharmacist. And she created an entire collection called Roots that I'm going to be implementing, which is the three systems of Pre-Perry and Post Menopause.

7:15And she was telling me, she goes, you know, when I was talking to her about hot flashes, she's like, well, when do you get them? And I was like, well, at first I was just getting them at night. You know, I was like, dying in the middle of the night, waking up like drenched. And she's like, well, that's your progesterum. That means your progesterine's low. And that's where it starts. And so women need to take that progesterine at night. But when you start having hot flashes in the day, she was like, now that's a whole other, that's a whole other demon there. Now that's estrogen. Now your estrogen's gone. So now you have to take an estrogen patch. And estrogen's really the one that kind of sets it, sets us all off. Once that estrogen drops, that's when you get the weight gain, you get the hair loss, you get the anxiety, you get the frozen shoulder. I mean, there's an array. I mean, women are afraid to drive. You know, the craziest things start happening to us when we start losing our estrogen. But you know, and not every woman can go on estrogen replacement, which is the whole other thing. You know, so this is why I'm so proud of hella foxy because it's all made in the USA.

8:18You know, we're a 503A company. We're all based in United States, in Tennessee, in Dallas. All our pharmacies are here. There's nothing synthetic coming from overseas. And we have women, women pharmacists and women doctors who are going to help you get your blood work. And help you figure out exactly where your hormone levels are. And you know, kind of cater to your particular needs. And we're not going to go, we're not going to leave you. We're not going to be like, okay, here's your drugs. And then, you know, you know, there's a lot of women stop. A lot of women get on estrogen. And then they don't, you know, they don't know what to do. And then, you know, but so we're not going to leave you. We're going to guide you through it all. That is, I mean, that's amazing. I'm so excited to look into that. And I'm curious too, because so you've been dating your new guy for how long? Oh, okay. Well, I met Greg. Oh my God. A lot, you met him on a movie, right? Like years and years. I met who we were first models in Miami. I was 18. I just graduated high school. I was modeling Miami.

9:20He was 20 and we just met Miami. And then we were dating. We were so young. And then he went to LA and I went to New York. That's when I became Miss New York, USA. And one Miss USA. And that's why I moved to LA. Then I ran into him again. We actually did Poison Ivy 3. When Jamie Presley, we did like a whole movie. And we kind of dated a little bit again. And then you know, life just kind of took us on our separate way. So I've known Greg for well over 30 years. Oh my God. That's crazy to say. But we've been together. We reconnected about three years ago. How do you reconnect? What was the, what was the reconnection? Was it like a DM slide or? So Jason Mamoa, you might know him, you know, Aquaman. He was a very, he's a good friend of both of ours. So when we all moved to LA, we were all starting, you know, young actors, models. We were all like doing our thing many, many moons ago. And he was doing the vodka launch and invited us all to kind of go celebrate. And so I ran into him at Jason's vodka launch.

10:22And I just saw him. I hugged him. And I was like, it's you. You're the one. It's the, I'm going to grow old. But you knew it, you know, and shortly after he moved me to Texas. And we've been together ever since. Oh, so you're living in Texas now? I do. Yeah. Yeah. I'm in LA right now visiting my kiddos. But I'm based on a Dallas now. And then the kiddos ages are what? Oh my gosh. Okay. So BAM was going to be turning 21 in December, which is so crazy. I'm going to have a big old party in Vegas. I think Lannan will be 23 in October. And my youngest is 27, which really freaks me out because it's very close to 30. And I'm not sure I'm ready to have a 30 year old daughter yet. But yeah, 27. Well, I first of all, I think it's beautiful that you're on your next chapter. And you know, you're, I'm curious to you because I feel like it takes a specific man to handle the hormonal imbalances that were going there. Like I genuinely like I'm like, man, you know, it does.

11:27It just takes it takes a really good man. But also like what is something that he does for you that you're just like, because I have a hard time expressing like, hey, it's the week before I'm about to go really crazy. Because right now, I might have PMDD. So it's like right before my period. It just is and I've never felt that. That's the thing with Perry, right? Is like, you know, you have a period. You don't have a period. You have a period for two weeks. And you have a period for like three months. You know, and then like you might have hot flashes one week. And so, you know, it's just you never know, you know, and it's yeah. And a lot of women just rough through it. They don't even realize that there's, you know, there's things out there that can kind of ease all of that. You know, there's no reason to suffer. We have HRT. We have hormonal replacement therapy. But I'm, you know, the big thing for me was hot flashes. Like, I mean, I was getting them like every 30 minutes. And I'm not talking just like the hardest thing was at night just sleeping. Because I would just wake up like drenched to the point where I would like have to go like, you know, you're like, you're sweating and then you're freezing and then you're sweating.

12:31And then he, and then you just, you're not sleeping. You know, my sleep was so interrupted. And I just was like, babe, I just, I just need a good night's sleep. You know, that was the hardest thing. And he just saw me suffering through that. Yeah. And I think that's the piece that I'm curious about. Yeah. Because I have a hard time communicating that like because I'm, it feels so out of body. And then I, I'm almost, not that I'm embarrassed by it. But it's, it's like I'm trying to hold it together because I don't want it to seem like, you know, but I also know that it's, it's a lot to like, how do you communicate that to your partner? And then how has he shown up for you in that? I always tell like women and I tell men, you know, there's three phases in a woman's life where we have absolutely no control of our bodies. And that's puberty, pregnancy and metapause. And it's just, we just have no control of our hormones, you know, and it's, it's like, you know, I just, it's like, hey, I don't, I don't want to feel like this, you know. But I think just educating your partner as well, just being like, hey, babe, like, read this article or here's a little fun meme, you know, or just kind of sending him stuff, you know,

13:34where it shows other women kind of make in light of it. So, you know, but it's a conversation you have to have like, hey, I'm not in control of my body sometimes. Like, I'm going to go see a physician, I'm going to get it under control, but I need you to be a little patient with me because the thing about metapause is like, especially with hormone replacement therapies and really with any sort of like, any real physical issue, any physician guided issue you have, you know, even if it's mental, mental health, you know, you know, it's going to take a little, a little work to figure out what works with your body, even going on a GLP, you know, ozemic may work for some people, a monjuro may work for another person, you know, you need to figure out the level that works for you is it five milligrams is it seven, do you want a micro dose, you know, and people really need to be, I think, a little kinder to themselves as they sort of navigate what works for them and what doesn't work for them, because it can be like a six to a year month process, figuring it out. Right. Yeah, no, for sure. Can we travel back in time a bit? Yeah, okay. Yeah, sure. I love to go back in time. I know, right. Don't I as well. Like, I love to go back in time. I have, you know, I have a very, I have a public.

14:44X a relationship that was really hard and that was in, you know, the papers and all the things and, you know, I sometimes think back on that relationship and I'm like, what could I have done differently because you know, obviously people reach out and be like, hey, I need help with, you know, moving on or this like, what would you have done differently and I'm, you know, I have, I have my responses for that, but I'm curious like when you look back or when you've looked back, like is there something where you're like, I could have done this. Like, I could have done this differently. Oh, God, I mean, I don't even, I mean, of course, I mean, there's, I mean, my life and all the things that I've gone through. In your relationship, probably a gazillion things, you know, that I, I think I would have done differently. And more so, even in the self care of myself. Yeah, you know, I was running around trying to save everybody, probably but myself, not to sound selfish or whatnot, but I think if women don't take care of themselves, you're not going to be a good mother, you're not going to be a good friend, you're not going to be a good daughter, you know, so I think that's very important.

15:52But at the same time, you know, I know everyone says this is very cliche, but if I didn't make those mistakes, I wouldn't be who I am today. And, you know, I wouldn't, you know, have the strength in the, in the different attributes. And, you know, if I hadn't made those mistakes. Yeah, no, for sure, I hear that. And I think one of the things that I've, when I've like sat with it is, I wish I would have, like, I always say, oh, I'm so glad that I stayed all those years and that I gave it everything. And I am like, because I know that I tried everything I possibly could, but I, but the piece that I haven't been truthful and that is that I wish I would have, because I had, if I really would have discerned with myself, I knew it was never going to get better. Right. And I mean, like, and, and I wish I would have actually left sooner knowing that it wouldn't have changed. So I should have listened to that whisper and that discernment inside of me, because you know, you know, and I wanted to ignore it. I kept just shoving it down and trying to pour water over it, you know. Well, I think, you know, that's a big thing. I think a lot of women stay too long, you know, for different reasons. Maybe it's their kids. Maybe it's, you know, a lot of women of fixers.

16:59You know, I'm going to fix it. I'm going to heal it. That was kind of like my personality. I don't want to, I didn't want to have another failed relationship. So, you know, and then I think the hardest challenge for me has been trying to forgive myself for staying in places that I should have left, you know, for not reading those red flags or saying, you know, I know it's hard, but I, you know, I should have left. That is one of the hardest things is grieving your choices. And that is like one of the things that I have, it's taken the longest in therapy to get over. Yeah, grieving the things that I wish I would have done differently. Yeah, bare mad at myself, you know, and why did I do why would I do that? Why did I allow that or like, what you know, and, you know, my major relationships that people know me for Oscar and Travis, those ones I don't really have. The biggest regrets about it's a relationship that I had before Greg that I was in for almost five years. That was a very abusive relationship.

18:01And, and that's the relationship that I really, I go back on often and really like, why, what was it about me at that point in time that was so broken that thought that I was deserving of that, you know, and I had to, that was the kind of therapy I had to go kind of figure out. And I'm still working on that. This message is sponsored by Regina Ron and Santa Fe. I know how hard it is to watch your child struggle. It's frustrating trying everything from home remedies to topical prescription creams. But when you're a mom, you never stop trying. If you feel like your child's moderate to severe eczema is an under control with topical prescription therapies, it could be time to ask their doctor about do Pixen, do pill you, ma'am. Do Pixen works inside the body helping to block a key source of inflammation that can cause eczema flare ups on the outside.

19:01Do Pixen helps your child stay ahead of their eczema symptoms with clear skin and less itch and it's not a steroid or immunosuppressant. Do Pixen can be used for children as young as six months severe allergic reactions, including skin reactions can occur, get help right away for face, mouth, tongue or throat swelling, weezing or trouble breathing. Tell your doctor right away of new or worsening eye problems like eye pain or vision changes, skin symptoms, joint aches and pain or a parasitic infection. Don't change or stop other treatments without talking to your doctor. Visit dopixen.com to learn more. This message is brought to you by Ralph's. Listening to podcasts about improving your life means you care about how you show up every day. You know small, consistent choices can make a real difference. With Ralph's, you can plan ahead by stocking your kitchen with fresh ingredients and everyday essentials. So the small choices you make feel consistent from the start and stay easy all day long. Order online and pick up groceries at your local Ralph's.

20:03Ralph's. Serving so cal for over 150 years. I love podcasting but I also love the space I've curated at my home to podcast and recently it needed a refresh. I wanted to make it more cozy and more me. I wanted some great shelves to display things so I went to Wayfair and if you've never tried them, you guys are missing out. With Wayfair, you can find quality materials that stand up to real life and shop furniture and decor that's built to last. I like that you can shop with Wayfair verified, your shortcut to durable pieces hand-vetted by product specialists using a 10 point quality inspection. Testing things like quality of materials, functionality and features and even how long it takes to build. You can't beat the value with Wayfair rewards members get 5% back every day helping you get even more value from your Wayfair purchases. Find options that fit your style and your budget. Create a home you love without overspending and they have a wide range of price points so you can find what's right for you.

21:12It's not just me who loves Wayfair. You can read more than 20 million verified 5 star reviews from real shoppers. See real customer photos and feedback before you buy. And if you're like me, you can use reviews to help narrow your choices and shop with confidence. Transform your space with pieces that hold up to real life. It's like Leo knows every time a just food for dogs delivery shows up at our door. The second I bring the box inside, he's right there tail wagging ready for meal time. One of the reasons I love just food for dogs is that it's made with real human grade ingredients you can actually see. Things like beef, chicken, sweet potatoes, green beans, carrots and peas. Nothing mysterious, just fresh food I feel good about feeding him.

22:14It's also the number one that recommended fresh dog food and is backed by more than a decade of research and six published studies which gives me so much confidence as a dog mom. Since switching I've noticed Leo is more excited at meal time has great energy and just seems happier overall. And with summer travel, their just fresh meals have been a game changer. They're shelf stable, so I don't have to worry about packing a cooler ice packs or making room in a freezer. We can keep Leo on the same feeding routine whether we're at home or away. Visit justfoodfordogs.com and get 50% off your first order. What is your best and I just I just posted something on my Instagram about all the things I've learned with co parenting because it can be very challenging. So I just put like you know my tips and tricks out there but what has been what is your what are your best tips for co parenting because especially when people get into new relationships as it's hard if you're not meshing well with the other person or you know whatever it is.

23:20What is something that like if you had a friend that's like hey girl I need your help like what are the main things for you that are either non negotiables but also that has worked well for you. Well you know co parenting proof that it can be so difficult for so many people. You know the one thing my ex and I agree on it's the only thing my ex and I agree on because we don't agree on anything else was our children and that was putting our children first. And so you know the first thing I think when it comes to couples and divorce is you can't weaponize your children. You know you can't use your children to get back at your spouse you know for whatever whatever I don't I don't care how much you hate them. I don't care you know you cannot use your children as a weapon against against it like you really need to sit down with yourself and say my priority is giving my children the healthiest and best future possible. And that's making an event of the day whether you like it or not your child deserves to know their father yeah your child deserves to know their mother you know whether you respect them or not it's their parent and whether they grow up and say you know what my father's a piece of.

24:28I don't like them that's their road to travel and learn so you have to allow your children to know know their other their other parent and you have to put the them first and sometimes that's you know let you know taking your ego out of it. You know one thing that Travis and I did that worked really great for us is that we had a nesting arrangement. So our kids actually stayed in one house and he and I went in and out so our kids never went back and forth and I know that's not an option for a lot of people you know but that's something that we did that was really kind of helpful my kids just stayed in one place. And then he went in on his custodial days and then I went in on my custodial days and you know we were the ones going back and forth so it didn't really interrupt the children but I just think you know my biggest tip is don't recognize your children yeah it can be so hard to when you're so angry at the other person yeah yeah yeah yeah you know like you know like look they there's days you know the court set times and dates for reasons you know and it's like a bye bye you know follow them you know the kids you know if it's actually a good thing to do it.

25:32You know if especially like you know there's some parents you know they only get their kids every other weekend you know they're not like if your kids go be with your you know with their parent the other the one weekend the two weekends of the month you know we don't need to have to go to the cops to have a child exchange you know think how dramatic that is for kids so I mean co-parenting is it's so so difficult. I think parents who can come together and really do that well I really applaud them because it's it's not easy and sometimes it takes people years you know and it takes you two to three years to kind of find that rhythm and flow all right as long as you find that rhythm and flow. I got to ask this because you know obviously your your kids are you know out of the house they're a bit older. I'm an answer I know so this is like that and you know this is because I'm still you know I pay child support to my to my ex and our kids are still young. How is it when they're older like to not have to have that communication with because I still have to text my ex and have community like we're in communication we're at the baseball games where it is like way when they're 18 just so you know that's my answer.

26:43That's my answer that's my question that doesn't like it's not like you don't have to talk it probably less it definitely lessons it definitely lessons but like let's say Alabama for instance you know she deals with a lot of health anxiety my my youngest daughter she's very vocal about it she talks about it. But you know she likes to go to the ER every other day you know she gets she thinks she's going to have a brain tumor she goes to the ER she thinks she's got a subset she's got to go to the ER you know and and at this point we're like go to the ER so you know it's not easy. So that's going to make you feel better but you know that's something Travis and I have to text each other you know did she are you going to the are with her this time am I going to the you know are we going to are we going to you know like what are you know how she doing is she is she resting is she feeling better you know she's going to be 21 but we still will talk to each other you know the kids are in New York in New York. Do you have security with the kids in New York? Yes, the kids have. So, you know, so we still will text and communicate even though they're young adults, you know, they're young adults, you know, people think, oh, they're 18, but they're still, I mean,

27:44I'm 51. They're kids to me. 20, you know, 30s are kids to me. So it's, you know, it's like, they're still like babies. It doesn't really go away. I have this, and my, my, my now has been, he, not that he laughs at me for it, but I have this dream that, you know, whoever my ex Mary's like, we're going to be best friends and we're going to, you know, go on vacations together and like, that could happen, that could happen. Yeah, but like realistically, like, and that's not my, my husband wouldn't be comfortable with, with that. And that, you know, obviously, I want to honor like, ain't who knows, but now, right now that he wouldn't be the most comfy with that. But if it's something important to me, of course, he'd probably hear me out on it. But I, I don't know, like, is that like, is that something you ever thought of or wanted or like, how do you, when it comes to like being able to co-parent with another woman? Like, how is, how is that dynamic? And like, what is your biggest tip for when that happens for me? On the wrong person as well. Well, I know, like,

28:45you're all even in the press a little bit with, you know, maybe commenting comments going away. We're laughing. I'm just not there. No, that's, that's, I'm just the wrong person. Yeah. Because I'm like, I think it's, that can be, you know, probably 90% of situations. I have friends that do that, you know, my best friend in Rhode Island, his name's Thomas. He has a daughter and he and his ex wife are best friends and their priority was their daughter. And they, I mean, every year, I mean, he on their, on her birthday and Mother's Day. I mean, he, I mean, it's a beautiful thing to see. People do do it. For me, it's just the, the sadly, the opportunity, I guess, with my exes and their, and their particular new partners just wasn't, you know, didn't end well with me with those people. And so it just, it's never been an option. And it's nothing I've ever, ever wanted to do. But I, I applaud you for that dream. I will support you.

29:46I think it's just because my kids are little and I would be, yeah, I always think like it'd be something great for them, right? But, absolutely, you had to see their parents, like get along even as friends. Yeah. I think, you know, I think that's a, it's an important, you know, I try, I try. But I, I don't always succeed, you know. I, but I get it. You know, I mean, I totally get it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that is, my Michigan Detroit can come out two at times. Yeah. I totally get it. And I always think there's two sides and then the truth to exactly what I mean. So that is what I always, you know, kind of hang my hat on. But the, the doc that just came out, I know it was been like a seven year process. Did you have any, how, how do you feel about how it turned out? Because I know I was watching the other doc that, um, Chloe was in that she agreed to and then she's like, I don't like how it turned out. So I'm curious like where you're, I didn't get to finish it.

30:47So I don't, um, I didn't watch it. I don't want to watch it. Do you regret kind of signing up for it then? I, a lot, yeah, I wish I didn't do it. You know, I, he asked me to be a part of his book, you know, many, many, I don't even know, 15, almost maybe 20 years ago. And I regretted being a part of that book. And, um, I didn't like how I was edited or portrayed in that book. And it was really, really hurtful, honestly. And I always told myself I wouldn't do it. I don't know how he got me to go and do this documentary. Um, I think it was before he was with his wife. I'm pretty sure. And, uh, I, I just wish I, I hadn't done it. Um, and I, because I knew in my heart, I wasn't going to be portrayed, uh, the way that I felt I deserved. And I, and just the bits and pieces that people have shared with me or told me about, I just was like, yeah, that's kind of what I thought was going to happen. So I'm a little disappointed with myself for participating. Well, no, I mean,

31:47it's, I think the fact that you showed up to participate shows your heart. And that is, and the results can be disappointing that you put in that. And then that's how it gets twisted. And that's, yeah, that's not fair. You know, so I would, I could totally understand the disappointment and not for sure. Absolutely. But you have your chance. You just announced your upcoming memoir is coming out. Yeah. What are you most excited to say? And for people to know? Gosh, you know, I just think that there's been a narrative about me for just so long from meet the barkers where, you know, people think I sleep all the time. You know, I mean, just craziness. Well, listen, how old were you? It was probably hormones and like coming out of a mother's head. I had, I had, I had three kids under five. I had a five like two and bird people were tired. I was pregnant. Like, leave me alone, you know, and then we were filming all day and everything. But they act like I was like, but it was also supposed to be like, sort of like a storyline that was supposed to be funny. But people just, you know, turned it

32:47that I'm just like a terrible neglecting mother. But I was just like, oh, wow, didn't see that coming. But, you know, it is what it is. But my book, I'm, I think I'm just most excited about to show all the, the different sides in me that people don't know about living in Miami, modeling the celebrities, New York, moving to LA, early Hollywood, all the celebrities from Jack Nicholson to Sean Penn to Gerard Butler. I mean, I talk about them all. And, you know, just what that like early Hollywood in the 90s was like. And, you know, the Playboy mansion, Miss USA, you know, Oscar De La Hoia, I have a whole, you know, world with him. You know, it's not just about Travis, Travis, you know, has a couple chapters, but it's not just about chapters. I want this book to be one that inspires women to learn about trauma, trauma bonding, how to get over living through embarrassing things in

33:53the public eye, but more than anything kind of finding that journey back to yourself. And it's more about inspiring women, because my fan base is divorced women. It's, you know, single moms, you know, how did you get through it? How do you, how, how, how, you know, how did you get through seeing him move on with another woman so publicly? So, you know, that's the women that write me, you know, so this book is for them. It's hard, you know, like it's not, it's not easy going through any of that and then finding your way back to yourself. I have a question. Did you, did you tell any of the people like, hey, heads up, I'm writing this story about you or like the ones that you just mentioned? No, and I have to definitely make sure legal goes through my book, because I talk about a lot of people. I mean, I don't talk about it's not about trying to disparage anybody. I'm not trying to make anyone look bad at all. I'm really just trying to share

34:53where I was, who I was, why I acted the way I acted, where my, what my thought process was, and to share some truths that have been withheld for a long time. And it's, and they're true. They're, they're, they're, they're real, you know, like you said, there's, you know, there's two sides of every story. Well, there's a lot of my side that has never been shared and I'm eager to share that, but it's been hard. People don't want to touch my book, you know, and I just, I just think there's people that don't want my book to be read. So, you know, there's powerful people, more powerful than me, but my book will be, will be, if I have to self-publish it or not, I'll have my book out. Well, you should, again, it's your story. And I think that's the thing, like when, when I wrote my book, I changed someone's name, but I also, I told my ex, I'm like, this, I, it started, and I'm curious how you're writing process too, because my book started with me sharing a lot of things that now I'm glad I didn't share for my kids' sake. Yeah. But it was a lot of,

35:54about him and then the book turned into about me, where I was like, and at the end of it too, I was like, listen, I took out these stories and this and that and the other one, I said, this is your in it, but it's not about you, like at all. So, like, here's the manuscript and I would like for you to read it if you'd like to read it, but I did protect like what we have and, you know, all the things, because at the end of the day, it was never, it's not about you, it's about how I move through everything that happened, that you also did, that I contribute, like all the things, you know, so it's like, you know, my kid, and you know, one of the things that I do talk about is parental alienation, which is a big thing, and that's a, yeah, a big thing with my fan base as well, because you know, when my kids were little and I was going through some difficulties with their dads, I hit it, you know, when you're a mom and you, you know, you, you, you high things from your children, you protect your children from certain things that you don't want them to see or know, and you kind of suffer in silence, you know, and, and I, I definitely am taking my children's

36:58feelings into consideration, but at the same time, you are young adults now, and I think you kind of need to understand why your mom's the crazy mom that she is, you know, why she, why I did some of the things I did, because I don't think you understood what was being done or what I was going through during a lot of those years that you were young, and, and that was me protecting them, but you know, they're young adults, there's nothing there that I don't think I can, can't share with them, but I think a lot of women and parents will relate. Yeah, no, especially because a lot of those times, and I, there's, I can think back on conversations and just like how it was, it makes me sad, but it's also knowing that like we are even when something was so wrongly done to us, we're still protecting our kids to make sure they don't know certain things. Absolutely, yeah. You know, like I, yeah, a very good, a, very good memory of something where I had to course correct it so that she wouldn't remember how she's not in a way. Right, exactly, yeah, that's

37:59the thing. Because I needed to protect her, and it's like, but it's so sad too, you know, because it's yeah, yeah, I think there's like this quote, and I don't, I don't remember, but it was like the, the biggest acting job I ever did was when I had to smile with my kids as a mother, when inside, I was like crying, you know, it's like, terrible version. When you, when you walk out of the bathroom from just sobbing and then be like, hey kiddos, yeah, there is one brain. Yeah, so yeah, yeah, you know, just on daddy making out with Harris Hilton on TMZ, but I'm so good. Yeah, just discovered the 15th affair. Here we go. Yeah, oh, yes, you know, everything's great. Yes, you know, it's like, gosh, it's interesting. And then to have it, you know, play out in public, you know, and having your kids, like my kids were in the public eye, so that was a whole other like sort of crazy kind of thing. This message is sponsored by Regeneron and Santa Fe. Janet Kramer does not have direct experience with the product advertised.

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40:04Visit dopixant.com to learn more. This message is brought to you by Ralfs. If you're listening to this podcast, chances are you like to make the most of your time. That kind of thinking can go a long way at home, too. On Saturdays, you can take your time at Ralfs, stocking up on fresh groceries, household essentials, and everything you need for the days ahead. Order online and pick up groceries at your local Ralfs. Ralfs. Serving so cal for over 150 years. I love podcasting, but I also love the space I've curated at my home to podcast, and recently it needed a refresh. I wanted to make it more cozy and more me. I wanted some great shelves to display things, so I went to Wayfair, and if you've never tried them, you guys are missing out. With Wayfair, you can find quality materials that stand up to real life, and shop furniture and decor that's built to last. I like that you can shop with Wayfair verified,

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42:12w-a-y-f-a-i-r.com. Wayfair every style every home. It's like Leo knows every time a Just Food for Dogs delivery shows up at our door. The second I bring the box inside, he's right there, tail wagging ready for meal time. One of the reasons I love Just Food for Dogs is that it's made with real human-grade ingredients you can actually see. And with summer travel, their just fresh meals have been a game changer. Their shelf stable, so I don't have to worry about packing a cooler, ice packs, or making room in a freezer. We can keep Leo on the same feeding routine whether we're at home or away. Visit Just Food for Dogs.com and get 50% off your first order. Do you regret doing the reality show now looking good? Oh no, no, I love it. It's so crazy though. I look back on it now. Sometimes people will send me YouTube clips. I don't even know those people. It's like watching like two strangers. No, I don't

43:13even know like, I'm like, wow, that girl looks fun. Like who's that? I don't even know who those people are. It's like a time capsule. It's kind of like a cool time capsule, but I just, I don't even, it's like a different, I feel like I've been through 10 lifetime since then. So I get that. Would you get married again? Oh my god, yes. I want to marry Greg so bad. Oh, that's so cute. I love that. I love that too. Obviously, yes. He's my southern, he's my good old boy, my southern gentleman. He's ever loved that. So that's the thing where it's like, it's, I'm like the biggest believer in love and, you know, I've, yeah, a couple of marriages, but like I do believe that it's, you know, you do the work on yourself and I just, I'm always the biggest advocate for love and love and I just never wanted to let anybody make me afraid to fall in love again, you know. And Greg has definitely had to eat some other men's sins for breakfast, but the most beautiful thing about him is, you know, the way he communicates

44:16in the way he reassures me and he's like, you know, look, I understand why that's triggering, but I'm not that person. Yeah, my therapist always says don't, don't give him the punishment of a crime that he didn't commit. Exactly. And not something that I like think about often because I'm like, you're right. Like I'm, I'm giving the energy and the attitude towards my husband when he didn't commit that crime. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. It makes it there once in a while, you know. Yeah. I believe a lot of that is hormonal too. I really am not trying to play his blame on certain things, but I think it's, I think it's a combination of all of it. I like that. I'm with you. Yeah, what would be your biggest advice for someone moving into their next chapter? Like what is the thing that you're like, I think, you know, just like, you know, when I was younger, I just rushed. I rushed. I was like, I want to, I got to get this job. I'm going to get this relationship. I got to get this marriage. I got to, you know, I rush rush rush rush. Yeah. And I think the biggest thing is starting to just, I guess, allow myself the grace to heal and to take that time to do the

45:23work on myself and to know that it's not going to happen overnight. And there are going to be setbacks. And I'm not, I'm not, you know, like, I am going to mess up, but I'm going to, you know, give myself grace. And, you know, just, you know, it's like, it's like drinking, you know, if you, you know, it's like, you want to, I was trying to do this like two week cleanse, you know, and I didn't do it. And so it's like, all right, well, then we're going to start over. It's okay to start over again. You know, I think that's a big thing. People, you know, they beat themselves up too much. Yeah. And I also think too, it's, it's, you know, and being on, you know, older and we're, we've all had marriages before. You're going to have things you're going to have to work on with your new partner too. Everyone's just like, oh, you've got like, I'm like, yes, like he's amazing. And we still have things we have to work on. Right. As a, as our couple ship and also independently too. And, you know, knowing very well that like we're doing that for us. And then for, for again, our couple ship, I think I think one of the hardest things for me too with Greg was that it was a healthy love. Yeah. And I didn't know how to process like, healthy love. Like I was so used to just drama,

46:31and trauma, and, you know, well, we're not finding, you're not loving me. You know, like, why are you, like, why are you finding fault with me? Or, you know, when I had to like, there were times I had to really sit back and go, you can trust this. You can trust this love. You can trust this man. Allow yourself to enjoy this. You are deserving of this. You know, and that was like a talk. I had, like the first year I had to like be like, remind myself, you're deserving of that because I like having healthy love was so foreign. Oh, yeah. Because your system just knows some, you know, again, that that trauma that you see as you want is an ex you're going to drop in. Yeah. And you always have to protect yourself. But, you know, now you've got Blink and I coming out of, by the way, nice title. Thank you. Fan. Wow. I just got that. That's what I mean. They smart. You're very smart. I'm a blink of an eye. I'll tell you that though. You know, life can change just like that. So it's a lot. My life in that book is not just him or his

47:37band, but it's, it's, it's a lot of different things you'll see in my book that how your life can just change so, so quickly. You know, but by fast, people that realize life really does go by fast. It does. And then you've got the Hello Foxy. So I work and everyone is what's the website? Because I was trying to find it. Sure. It's Hello Foxy. It's Foxy with an eye. So just hello, FOXI dot com. Hello Foxy and it's hello dot Foxy at Instagram and hello Foxy wellness on TikTok. Oh, I'm so excited. Yeah. So you can go on there and you can take a quiz and you can kind of share what your concerns are. We'll put you with a physician and we'll get you like an amazing program. And we don't leave you. You know, we follow up with you. We we have, you know, at home blood kits, you know, so you don't even have to go to the lab. You can do it in the privacy of your own home. It's really, really beautiful. And we have everything. So we're going to have peptides. We have peptides, GLPs. We have hormone replacement therapy. We have sexual wellness. So it's not

48:39just for men. We have everything from creams, troke, trokeys. We have, you know, nasal sprays, you know, and enhance her pleasure because it's about time our pleasure was enhanced. Have you tried the oxytocin for nasal spray? I have, yes, I have. It's fun. Okay. I just got it. What do you mean fun? What does it do? Because I haven't tried it yet. And I'm so afraid of trying anything. It like in heightened sensations, you know, it's just like really good. It's going to be that, oh, that extra, oh, that you're looking for. Oh, okay. Here we go. Yeah. Yeah. I was, yeah. Yeah. Because my doctor prescribed it for like anxiety. Yeah. You can have it for anxiety, but also like for women's like, you know, obviously, women in metapause, like there's lots of changes, you know, with like, vaginal dryness. Ike, it can be uncomfortable. It can be painful. You know, there's just all different kinds of things going on down there. And we want to keep women happy and healthy because we should be enjoying sex well into our 80s is just like men. So, you know, Robert DeMiro has a three-year-old,

49:41you know, we should be enjoying, you know, sexual wellness as well. So in, and I also sell ED products for men on there as well, you know, because we want our partners to be, you know, to cause so many men to, you know, when their testosterone drops, you know, they start having problems. And then that can affect our relationships because they're embarrassed to talk to you because they can't get it up or, you know, whatever. And we want them to be feeling confident and sexy as well. There's a little, a little line on there for men and women. Yes, there, I mean, there's some amazing, amazing products in here. I'm looking at all of them. This is awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming. Thank you. I appreciate you sharing all the things. Oh my god, you are so sweet. So refreshing just to have a really nice conversation and not have to get all in the, the gossip of life. So I appreciate you. No, yeah, I was like the last thing. It's just fun. To relate to someone that we've been, you know, we might not have been through the exact same things, but we're on on the journey of it also. Yeah, sure. Thanks for being open. I appreciate it.

50:42Well, thank you so much. I had so much fun. Okay, bye girl. Are you trying to navigate your life in chapter two, but need some advice? Well, we're here to help you. Send us an email or leave us a voicemail. All the info is in the show notes. Follow us on socials. I do part two and I heart radio podcasts. We're falling in love is the main objectives. Your identity is for sale. Let that sink in. Data broker websites package up your personal information and legally sell it off sometimes for pennies. And if it ends up in the wrong hands, identity thieves can use it to open loans, drain your savings account or commit crimes in your name. So how do you help stop this? Life lock. Life locks automatic data broker removal tool finds your exposed information and removes it from these data brokers because life lock truly protects your identity. Get life lock at lifelock.com and use promo code I do for up to 30% off your

51:49first year. That's life lock.com code I do. It's like Leo knows every time a just food for dogs delivery shows up at our door. The second I bring the box inside. He's right there tail wagging ready for meal time. One of the reasons I love just food for dogs is that it's made with real human grade ingredients. You can actually see things like beef, chicken, sweet potatoes, green beans, carrots and peas. Nothing mysterious. Just fresh food. I feel good about feeding him. It's also the number one that recommended fresh dog food and is backed by more than a decade of research and six published studies, which gives me so much confidence as a dog mom. Since switching, I've noticed Leo is more excited at meal time has great energy and just seems happier overall. And with summer travel, their just fresh meals have been a game changer. Their shelf stable. So I don't have to worry about packing a cooler ice packs or making room in a freezer. We can keep Leo on the same feeding routine, whether we're at home or away. Visit justfoodfordogs.com and get 50% off your first order.

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