Stop People Pleasing! Ex-MTV VJ Marissa Nasution on Setting Boundaries in Your 40s

Society praises the woman who holds everything together but rarely asks what it costs her to keep performing.

In this insightful episode of The Forties Formula podcast, hosts Jasmin Dhillon and Amanda Lim sit down with MARISSA NASUTION, a Research Psychologist, Coach, Speaker and emotional education specialist dedicated to raising awareness, educating, and empowering women to set healthy boundaries and redefine success on their own terms.

Together, they unpack the emotional weight of people-pleasing, the deeply rooted cultural and societal expectations that condition women to prioritize everyone else’s needs above their own, and the silent burnout that often follows. Marissa opens up about how motherhood, marriage, and midlife prompted her to re-evaluate what success and fulfillment truly mean and how saying “no” became her pathway to healing, clarity, and empowerment.

In this episode, we explore:

• The “good girl” pressure in Asian cultures and its influence on identity and choices

• How to pause before automatically saying yes

"Saying no isn’t rejection, it’s redirection toward what truly matters. It’s not about pushing people away, it’s about making space for what’s right for you. Every time you say no to something that drains you, you’re saying yes to something that fills you. You’re choosing peace over pressure, purpose over pleasing, and showing yourself and others that your time and energy are worth protecting."

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CHAPTERS

05:31 — Why women struggle to say no and set boundaries guilt-free

12:26 — Motherhood calls for self-care boundaries

15:55 — You can have it all, just not all at once

19:39 — Know your priority

20:12 — It's OK not to be perfect

25:35 — If it’s not a 100% yes, it’s a no

31:13 — Reflecting on why you say yes to things that should be no

34:02 — Seeking counseling or objective help to unpack difficult patterns

46:21 — Give a little and take some

48:40 — To thrive, align with your values and honor your boundaries

49:18 — Your 40s are the perfect time to rediscover yourself

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