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March 26th, 2026
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Okay, so this is a story.
If I can preface this real quick here, Gordon, this is...
Why do you have to preface it?
Well, because we haven't got to this story yet.
And everybody else has, we've been waiting patiently to do it this segment.
Yes, because we knew that you have already touched on this on the musers.
And because it's right up your alley, we figured you had read everything possible about it.
And that you would be the perfect person to bring us up to speed about the Quad Amp Cornhole Murderer.
Okay, I've never heard this term before.
What is Quad Amp?
Quadruple amputee.
We've shortened it to save time and money.
Quad Amp.
And to make you more comfortable.
Well, a Maryland man who is a quadruple amputee cornhole champion.
He's in trouble.
He's 27 years of age.
And he got famous because of his remarkable ability to play Cornhole.
Despite the fact that he has four complete nubs.
How long are each nub?
Four non-complete appendages.
However you want to look at it.
How would you estimate?
How would you estimate the length of the nubs?
The nubs appear to be like his legs are mid thigh, I believe.
Mid thigh nubs.
And his arms look like they're elbow nubs.
Yeah.
Okay.
So half.
So does he throw a bag using like pinching the bag between his elbows and chunking it that way?
He does.
And it's a very...
I think he pinches it between his arm nubs.
It's a violent move because Cornhole is a dainty sport when you see the delicate underhanded toss by the...
About with him.
...by the ones that have all their arms and legs.
Put his whole body into it.
Yes.
He puts everything into it.
And I believe that he fowls every time he does it, but they've granted him some sort of mercy rule where they don't penalize him for jumping over the line.
His follow through takes him past the line every time.
And I have a question about that.
Like how did the inventor of Cornhole?
Who was that guy?
Naysmith.
He invented.
Yes.
That was basketball.
Jim Corn is the one who did that.
Play quarterback for the Seahawks, too.
When they're inventing Cornhole in the 1880s.
Thank you.
How did they think far enough ahead to say, hey, we need to put in a rule.
If you're caught in a quad, you can fault.
You can fault.
No, no, no.
No, the rule wasn't in there until he joined the fray.
Oh, yeah.
Well, it didn't go back to the 1880s.
It wasn't on the original scrolls.
The papyrus.
Yeah.
Yeah, the constitutional congress didn't actually cover that.
Do we know why he was amputated all four?
Was this when he was a child?
Yes, he had an infection.
It's actually a very, very sad story, David.
Thank you for asking, Dave.
When he was 10 months old, I think that's right.
Yeah, 10 months old.
He suffered a blood infection.
And it really rocked the professional Cornhole community.
He wasn't a Cornhole.
At a 10 months old.
He was a prodigy.
And they started a fun for him.
And so he had this blood infection and the doctors come in.
They rush in and tell his parents that they need to amputate his arms and legs to slow the infection.
And they told his parents that he only had a 3% chance that he'd grow his arms by long enough to kill another human being.
He's not a salamander, Dave.
Idiot.
Dave thought he could regrow him.
Yeah.
Yes.
And he lived clearly.
Well, clearly.
You don't know.
You assume that he can't regrow him, but he could have been the exception.
It's like on the walking dead when you get bit by a zombie, they have to chop your arm off.
So the infection doesn't spread and turn you into a zombie.
Right.
It's a great parallel right there.
And when he was 10 months old, he spent four months in the hospital.
So that goes to show you how difficult this is.
I mean, think about that.
He's 10 months old and spends four months in there.
So is that is that when he learned cornhole like during his rehab again?
Babies therapy.
Full on armed and legged babies can't play cornhole.
Dave.
I'm going to try when I get home.
Okay.
So that actually is a very sad part of the story, but it also is the pretext for why he became a hero.
Because he knew that the most impressive thing that he could do to show all the naysayers out there.
Let a naysayer know.
Yeah.
He was going to let all the naysayers know that just because you are quadamped up, you can still conquer the most difficult to all sports.
Well.
And so that's why he set his sights on cornhole.
He thought about the NFL and then decided to pivot to cornhole.
Right.
And he got good.
He played professionally.
And there were a lot of, you know, those human interest stories and hero stories with the piano and the background.
You know, then profiling him about how he overcame his cornhole difficulties to become great at nub and a bean bag across the lawn.
Okay.
So do we know how great he actually was when you say pro, I don't know what that actually means.
Was he competing at the highest level of this sport?
Was he going bar to bar and local towns?
No, they have tournaments.
There are professional cornhole tournaments.
I know ESPN did a story on it because it was so impressive.
Like it, it's, it's legit.
Okay.
Like so is he in the quadamp division?
No, Dave.
He's, no, there's only one quadamp.
He keeps winning.
He's like the Babe Ruth.
Although, I mean, in the para Olympics, I would think he would absolutely dominate because if he's a champion in the fully armed division,
but I think he's would be a champion there too.
I don't want to.
Would he also be good at like curling?
Has he ever tried like a winter?
No, winter sport.
Oh, like when cornholes out of season.
Like as the stone.
Why would cornhole be out of season?
Well, they don't have it at the Olympics first off.
So that I want to break your heart.
I want to go back to Gordon's guess that he's weightlifting curly.
Actually, he may be good at like the clean and jerk because he didn't have to raise it as high.
Right.
Well, not only can he be a champion cornhole or he can also fire a handgun.
Yes.
He would as the story proves.
So he's so he's imagined the scene.
He's 27 years old.
He's in Maryland with his buddies.
He's got a friend in the car in the passenger seat.
And they pick up two other friends.
They get in the back.
So this is the crazy thing.
He's driving the car.
The Tesla.
Dayton James Weber is his name.
Dayton is somehow
nubbing the steering wheel in between the lines
and getting to where they need to go.
Modified car.
Maybe it's self-driving.
No, it is not.
No, it's not self-driving car.
Yeah, he is not the saver.
The car was modified to fit him as little people can drive too.
So, you know,
that's what's not unheard of.
Yeah, Corby.
Yeah, but little people have all of their limbs.
It's true.
And they've always been able to drive Corby.
All right.
So he's driving and this argument breaks out between him
and the guy in the passenger seat.
So the people in the back are listening to this.
Why isn't that guy driving?
Yeah.
To me, one of the under evaluated parts of the story
is why those other two people got in the back
when after they looked up front and looked at the guy driving going,
I don't know.
What if I do?
At least I'm going to decline this ride
and I'm just going to see who the next driver is.
Yeah, I don't know if this is a rideshare deal.
But so the argument breaks out
and Dayton, the Cornhole amputee,
he pulls out his Cornhole amputee.
No, shut up.
Pulls out a gun and shoots his passenger, killing him.
What kind of argument do you have to have in a car to kill someone?
While it's in motion, you're just driving,
and you blow the metal.
Well, the metal can play Cornhole,
but he can drive and kill people at the same time.
Okay.
Did you see the video of him loading weapons
and being able to, yes, like it's stunning.
It's on YouTube.
You can see him loading up a nine mil
and, you know, emptying a clip into a target.
Now, as a brief question on that point,
do you think having a video on YouTube
of you playing with guns at a very high level?
Do you think that helps your innocence or perhaps hurts?
Well, he has two eyewitnesses in the back seat.
Yeah.
Who have got to be, he has a leg to stand on in this trial.
Uh-oh.
The Clydesdale just shrunk to a little mini pony.
Yeah, his high horse was just quad amp.
Yeah.
The light was too good to pass on though.
So he shoots this guy and then he pulls over
and tells the other two people in the back,
hey, help me get this body out of the car.
Well, they refuse.
Yeah.
Because they don't want to be an accessory to murder,
not like amputees.
I would have been scared to death that he was going to shoot me.
I might have helped at that point.
I mean, he was brave enough and brazen enough to shoot
his buddy in the passenger seat.
I don't know.
I don't know that they were scared of that.
I mean, they may have thought he just got lucky
and he can't tongue the trigger again to get off another round,
especially in the back seat while he's driving.
Imagine the difficulty of what we're asking here.
Tunging the trigger to shoot.
So he begs them to help him get rid of the body.
They say no, they hop out of the car
and he takes off with the body still in the car.
The two people that he let out,
you know, of course they do like probably only a 10% tip
and then maybe give them two stars.
And then they flag down a police officer,
tell the officer what happens,
and then they're looking for the sky.
Pretty sorry of those two friends to do that.
So is he still at large or at small?
By the way, he pulled over.
He pulled over on radio station road.
Very generic.
Very generic.
That's what it's called radio station road.
And then he disposed of the body himself.
Well, that's the thing.
So then he takes off and then a couple hours later,
a resident generic calls up cops and says,
hey, I got a body in my front yard
and cops rush to the scene.
That's where they found the victim.
His name was Wells.
And last name Wells.
And they find him.
So somehow the quad amputee,
the guy Dayton was able to muscle that guy out of the car
and throw him in a front yard.
This guy's amazing.
Cornhole tossed him into the front yard.
Seriously.
Beyond murder and all that.
This guy's amazing.
Has he been stripped of all his titles
by the Cornhole Association?
I think that he's been out of your praising him, Corby.
I think he's been out of the game for a while.
I think he stopped professional Cornhole in like 23 or 24
from what I read.
27 years old.
That's not too old to Cornhole.
No, the year 23 or 24.
I know.
I don't know why he stopped it.
Maybe he's been.
He's saying difference.
So fame hit his.
Maybe he became so famous that he figured he didn't need it anymore.
He could do other things.
So has he been arrested?
Hard on his riches.
He could have been.
Yeah, he's in jail now, right?
Yeah, they eventually find his car.
He ditches his car of ways away.
And they located him.
He was in the hospital trying to get new arms and legs put on as a disguise.
No, he was not.
As a disguise.
He's just rummaging through the hospital dumpster looking for arms and legs.
He was going to Frankenstein up some arms and legs on to him.
And they would be working at everything.
So it would be a really believable disguise.
And then why would he have done that earlier?
He would he would ditch him.
He's a Santa suit.
What?
Why is he not all quad amputees wear Santa suits?
That's a wild accusation you're making there.
Corbin.
I don't think it's that guy.
That's Santa.
Yeah, I saw it happen.
And the guy that did it looked kind of like short Santa over here in the lineup.
But I know Santa does nothing but good.
So it can't be him.
Let's rule him out.
Yeah.
So short Santa meeting day.
These other guys.
I think it must be that tall black guy right there.
That's what I think.
We're in Maryland.
We're going to we're going to let you get out of here short Santa.
You have a good day.
We're sorry to bother you.
And then it's like usual suspects as he's walking down the street.
Just throwing off arms and legs.
Like limping away.
Corn holes falling out of his butt.
Arms and legs just a screw.
So that's the story of the quadruple amputee.
Well, thank you.
I do allegedly allegedly killed his friend in cold cornhole blood.
Yeah.
Incredible.
I was waiting to learn the details of that story and it was worth the wait.
All right.
Thank you, Gordon tonight.
Tonight.
If you have a TV switch dot TV slash actual Gordon Keith, we're going to have some fun.
All right.
There you go.
Thanks, Gordon.
Love you, man.
Yes, sir.
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It'd better be fun.
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