The "Letting Go" Method: Why Most Fail & How To PROPERLY Do It | Quazi Johir

0:00quasi here and in today's video I want to talk to you about letting go and what it means to let go why you should let go and ultimately what letting go and learning to properly surrender can actually do for your life and why you need to do it in order to be successful and how I had to do it to become successful in this video I want to get really deep into letting go all of the misconceptions around it because I realize a lot of people have questions about how do you actually let go like what the fuck does it even mean so by the end of this video I'll share with you a process that I've been using for the past three four years that our clients use in our flagship reality mastery program and I'm going to share that with you and a detailed process so that you can begin to do this for yourself so let's go right ahead and get started with this video real quick before I get started if I made a brand new course for you it's the identity shifting bootcamp if you'd like access to that just scroll down to the pin comments and the comment section below and you'll be able to get access to it so without further delay let's go right ahead and get started

1:03today's topic is letting go I've talked about this topic a lot but I still realize it's very difficult to grasp because this isn't more of an intellectual thing that you've got to think about but more of an emotional thing an emotional realization that has to happen an experiential thing that has to happen in your life and a couple of the books that I recommend you reading our first of all letting go by David R. Hawkins again I'll put it in the pin comments down below and the other one is called Sedona Method and you don't have to read the full thing of the Sedona Method I've read like maybe the first 20% of the book the first quarter of the book and it's already been super valuable so I'll put a pin comment down in the comment section below but why I want to talk about letting go today is because I had an interesting conversation with one of our mastermind clients and you know this guy is a very successful realtor he's made multiple lots of six figures and he has a family he has kids and what he finds that you know he came to us he wants to start up his own coaching business and working with other realtors and you know kind of getting

2:06that time freedom because he wanted to get out of out of real estate and he's already mastered that he's kind of bored with that and the biggest problem he's seeing in his life is that every time something happens you know maybe some relationship with his ex-client gets strained he gets triggered by and when he gets triggered it starts to affect every single other area of his life so he came in and his particular situation was hey you know I've built this deep relationship with his one client they even referred to me as family and then you know we've worked together for so many years and all of a sudden I see one day they list a property with this other real other other realtor and they've done this completely behind my back and it upset me and I've been thinking about it ruminating over it for a very long time like and it's it's I was very good up until that point you know I had a good consistent routine but now I've fallen off all of it how do I solve this how do I prevent getting triggered so in this situation this particular client is problem aware right he's aware that he has

3:10this problem and that this problem is causing it's wreaking havoc in all the other areas of your life and by the way most people aren't even problem aware right when you have a mindset problem it's very difficult to see that the problem is mindset it's very difficult to admit that the problem is mindset because it's easy to blame some external tactic or strategy or something else in your environment that's causing this or maybe some food you're eating but it's difficult for someone to say no no I am the problem the reason I'm here is nothing but me so that's the first step and once you do that more than half the work is done I honestly believe that so you know this client started to believe that the problem was that he's too sensitive I want you to think about how ridiculous that is for one second he believes that you know I should be more resilient I should be a certain other way than I already am and that to me sounds absolutely ridiculous because now what you're doing is you're not like you're not owning up to who you are you're not accepting it

4:15you're fighting it and once you fight yourself your own nature you get into a very destructive battle because now you're going to start blaming everything on you you're going to belittle yourself yourself images going to it's it becomes a negative feedback loop and this is what keeps this resistance built you know it keeps building up on itself the more you fight against yourself something that you can't really change and I know I talk a lot about identity shifting in this channel I feel like a lot of people misunderstand what I mean when I say identity shifting identity shifting isn't about you becoming someone else it's about you returning home it's more of like a homecoming it's more about you becoming more of yourself so what we help people do is more own who they already are what they really desire what happened to this particular client by the way is he believed he needed to be more resilient he needed to be more thick skinned and be more resistant to any sort of hurts that happen and be more have more of a cold shoulder to it right and

5:19and when when he started to believe this guess what happens he started to deny his own sensitive nature which by the way makes him a great fucking realtor right because you're sensitive because you're empathetic it makes you a great person you're a great human being to be around and I understand your greatest strengths will always become your greatest weakness that's an inevitability but you just have to learn how to manage it how to manage yourself that's what you know this journey is all about learning how to use what you've got and master it because everyone I promise you everyone has their own unique strengths and talents but they just haven't found where they can apply it so with this particular client he was looking at other people and how other people are resilient and how other people can handle rejection well why can't I do it why am I so bad at it where where where where where right so when you start to do that and you fight against yourself you start to create more problems so what I advise this client was to learn how to let go and

6:19surrender this even this aspect of himself and whatever's going on here instead of fighting and resisting it because the more he tries to change it by resistance the more he becomes resistant to change right so resistance just builds up on itself focus creates attraction if you focus on resisting your current self you're going to build more resistance if you focus on accepting your current self letting it go letting it be then it transmutes into more of a higher state more of a higher consciousness so when I told him when I gave him this advice he had a confusion his confusion was I've been trying to let go how long am I supposed to let go and to this I ask what what if you tried to do is like well I've tried to tell myself to let go and by the way when you tell yourself to let go you're not actually letting go you can't try to let go please think about this for a second there is no way you can try to let go of something letting go is a ceasing of activity you're not

7:23doing anything to let go it simply happens it's just a natural thing that occurs when you focus on the right things right so letting go is a natural way of dealing with and processing our emotions so there are four ways in which human beings deal with their feelings and process their emotions let me show it some light on that and this is one of the more more powerful things more impactful things that I'd learned that helped me the lowest level there are so there are four different levels of doing this level one in how we deal with things and process our feelings is repression we repress things and this happens unconsciously this is completely out of our control but remember the unconscious is always influenced by the conscious every habit that we have first started off as a conscious deliberate action you know how to ride a bike and balance your muscles and everything because you consciously made an effort at first when you rode that bike

8:27for the first time everything was very conscious but then as you got comfortable doing it and you kept doing the right thing you're subconscious kept getting feedback and it became more of an unconscious unconscious process okay so how we deal with things is we stuff them out stuff them down and it becomes repressed and in our lives we start to see manifestations of that repression from childhood trauma is like you know when I got bullied as a kid I had trouble being more assertive I had trouble like expressing myself I had trouble just being me because I thought me was the problem when I was younger so me is going to be the problem now but this wasn't in the forefront of my mind you see what I'm saying this was like completely stuffed down until I investigated and I found out this is what was happening I needed I didn't need to find this out I didn't consciously search for it but I looked at what what I was feeling and rode that ladder back down to what is the core thing that was causing this and once I gained some clarity on what was happening

9:28I realized the problem I became problem aware right so this is what happens to most people they have repressed all of the traumatic events in their lives and they've put a certain meaning on to it which is dictating how they are experiencing what they're experiencing now a lot of insecure people are insecure because of events that they can trace back to their childhood and how they've related to that event how they've contextualized that event in the context of their worldview big words I know but you have a certain worldview and certain events that have happened allowed you to make certain conclusions about this is the way life is because I am this way right it's just easier to make conclusions and jump to conclusions like that anyway let's talk about how repression happens repression happens at level two suppression when you have certain feelings that are strong certain events that have happened instead of dealing with them in a healthy way what you do is you stuff them down and you do what you need to do right now suppression is a conscious process

10:33we consciously suppress everything by the way I go in a lot more detail about all of this in another one of my videos I'll put the link to that in the comment section below as well so make sure you check that out too so when we suppress our feelings and whatever is coming up eventually over time as we keep suppressing it it becomes a habit it gets so deeply stuffed down it's now a repressed memory out of our conscious awareness suppression may be useful if done consciously right I'm going to get to that right in a second level three the way in which we deal with our feelings I hope you can see all of this by the way is expression we express how we feel we go to a therapist we talk to a friend we write it down we journal it we act out of anger when you express how you're feeling

11:38part of it actually gets dealt with but the rest of it gets suppressed and repressed when you express your anger you become more angry really you think you're getting it out but you're not and I learn all of this by the way from that book I told you about letting go by David R. Huckin so you should definitely check that out it'll really help you out expression is a way in which we deal with our feelings healthier than suppression and repression but still not the healthiest the highest level of war the healthiest way to deal with our feelings is through surrender and letting go what do I mean by that when something comes up when we surrender it we are dealing with the entirety of that feeling whatever is surfacing at that particular moment in time it doesn't mean that this will never come up again it will magically be gone no there is a lot of it to be dealt

12:42with because Rome wasn't built in a day right so this is a lifetime and multiple lifetime's worth karma or whatever you like to believe you're dealing with that comes up we don't know why we don't know from where they're right but they just do and once we deal with that we get emptier emptier and empty in a good way lighter and lighter and we feel better about ourselves and we feel better about our world okay we stop being so bitter we stop being so angry angry we stop being so resentful all of those feelings that weigh you down the heavy feelings that the anxiety you know I've had periods of anxiety in my life where I woke up in the morning and I felt like I could go back to bed like it was just so heavy I felt exhausted after working one or two hours and that's what I needed to employ surrender and dealing with what I was feeling right now now I'm going to get into how to surrender in a minute and what this really means how to let go in a minute what I want you to

13:44know before moving forward is none of these ways of dealing with your feelings is good or bad these are simply ways in which we deal with them the biggest problem is we unconsciously do all of these things even though suppression is a conscious process we unconsciously as a reactionary way we don't it's not a choice anymore a feeling comes up as soon as it comes up we express it I'm angry I express it I break something I need to do something I'm angry I suppress it unconscious this isn't a choice okay when you make the choice to you know what this is too heavy to be surrendered right now I can't you know if if something really tragic has happened and you can't surrender you can't let go of it and you choose to express it make sure it say conscious choice make sure you're making the choice to express it and when you do that even that expression itself becomes a form

14:45of surrender and once I define to you what surrendering really means it's going to make a lot of sense so let's jump right into what surrendering really means what letting go really means the biggest misconception people have about letting go is number one they think they have to stop everything and they have to sit down and let go no life still goes on the more you dwell on your problems the more problems there are going to be number two they believe they need to try to do something I need to try to let go I need to tell myself to let go that never works that never works so now let's begin with an instance like a feeling that's coming up let's say you feel anxious today you don't know why what most people will or most logical people will naturally try to do is they will try to think of reasons why they feel anxious oh it could be this it could be the food I ate it could be something my teacher said to me in class it could be some client that has requested a

15:50refund or is in getting results it could be some of my team members that are underperforming it could be many things right when that feeling arises we try to rationalize the existence of that feeling and by the way this is something that I wouldn't recommend that you do because it's futile we can make up any amount of excuses for why we feel the way that we feel but it's the feeling itself that causes the plethora of thoughts that you have in one feeling causes many different thoughts okay because you try to justify the presence of that feeling that's what the mind likes to do it likes to justify it likes to rationalize it likes to multiply and divide things instead of doing that isolated at the source the surrender process is directed to isolating what you're feeling at the source forget about all the thoughts let the thoughts be there and let the feeling

16:52be there whatever you're feeling right now whether it be anger fear anxiety allow it to be let it be there give it permission to exist acknowledge its existence for example if I feel anxious today I acknowledge that there is this feeling but I don't label it I don't label it as anxiety because guess what when you label a feeling as a certain feeling it takes on more of those characteristics and you know what the characteristics of this feeling are because you've heard other people express it on social media you've seen it define somewhere in books but this feeling is completely unique to you it doesn't have to be there so that's why you should enable it because when you label it the mind guess what the mind gets involved and when the mind gets involved the

17:53feeling becomes what the mind wants it to be it's kind of crazy so whatever you're feeling in this moment step one let it be there accept it fully this two is a part of you this feeling is a part of you it is yours even your lower self your ego it too is a part of you it too is arising it too needs to be dealt with so we accept it we acknowledge it and we give it permission to exist that's step one to dealing with it so let's talk about process where did he process step one accept and acknowledge and that's it that's all you need to do that is 99% of the work done because

19:04letting go isn't trying to get rid of it's accepting what is surrender is accepting what is and embracing it this too is a part of me and guess what happens energetically guess what happens if we look at it if we look at different lines of energy let's say this is your resistance it's giving off energy this way to the right that's the energy vector if you're bare with me I'm going to try my best to explain it because this is this is ridiculous like the the way I'm going to explain it is kind of ridiculous but because it's this is such a feeling experiential thing but the best way I can describe it is like this if you have vector lines that go this way when you resist what you're doing is you're going against it and when you go against it these lines add up to a bigger line that way

20:07it creates more destruction more friction and this grows the resistance grows now if I were to show you what surrender and accepting and letting be looks like if we have the same vectors of resistance instead of going against the vectors we go with the vectors and once you stretch out the vectors it runs out of energy it runs its course every feeling that's arising is arising from nothing and it returns back to nothing it's when we catch it and we make it more important than it actually is that it becomes a problem have you ever noticed in your life when you've had like a pimple or something and you make it more important than it actually is you keep picking at it you just keep going hard at

21:08it you're like I'm gonna get rid of this fucker and you just like try to pop it and do all this shit and then what happens is it pops leaves a bloody scar and you're left with that scar for the rest of your life as opposed to if you were to just leave it alone forget about it just let that pimple be there give that pimple permission to exist that it just stays there and then a couple days later it's gone by itself it runs its natural course that's the goal of letting go so when people talk about letting go and surrender when all of these spiritual gurus talk about it that's what they mean it means being in full acceptance of what is and now your misconception might be well quasi if I accept what is then I will keep it going forever if I accept that I feel like a loser today then I will be a loser forever no that is not true if you would like to change your self image it begins with

22:10accepting your current self image right it begins with accepting how you're feeling now if I feel crappy about myself if I feel really bad today I'm going to give myself permission to feel bad let yourself feel bad give yourself permission to be upset give yourself permission to be angry because these are all the things you need to go through in order to evolve into who you want to evolve into because in your mind you have a picture of who you'd like to evolve into right you have this person you'd like to be these goals you'd like to achieve and when you're achieving these goals you are a certain being maybe you're not in that state of being right now but it doesn't mean you won't evolve into it but in order to evolve into it you need to let go surrender accept whatever is right now acceptance is the catalyst that allows change to occur so in order for any change to occur it must be rooted in the foundation of acceptance except who you are focus on what is wanted not resist who

23:18you are and then focus what is wanted because if you resist who you are too much energy is on resistance so no energy can be directed to choosing who you would like to become do you see it it's an energetic thing so another part of the process I will add to it is life doesn't need to stop just because you're surrendering you don't need to sit down and surrender before you do anything if you feel that you need to do something you make that conscious choice to suppress it for now you let it be there you still surrender it but then you continue on with whatever activities necessary and when you do that by the way and you learn to create that distance between you and what you will do and and those feelings guess what happens those feelings don't affect your day-to-day they don't prevent you from going about and doing what's necessary and that's exactly what I told my client because my client was getting triggered

24:21by all of those feelings that were rising he was getting triggered and his getting triggered stopped him from working out from eating healthy from working on his business and what he wanted to do instead if he just accepts that let's it be and just does what's necessary anyways you know I don't feel that great today sometimes I don't really feel great making these videos but I accept that I let it be and I do what's necessary anyways because I know that the day I let how I'm feeling stop me from living my best life that's when I failed there is immense power when you do something even though you don't feel like it when you go against you kind of go against yourself but when you do that you live out of your comfort zone and when you live out of your comfort zone then those things those goals that you've wanted to achieve that's where those lie

25:21they're not in your comfort zone because if they were you'd be comfortably achieving them they're outside your comfort zone for now anyway with that I conclude this video I hope this was helpful so let's do a quick recap of what we talked about today I began with a story about one of my clients and what I advised him what problem he was going through and we also described the four different ways in which we naturally deal with our feelings the lowest level is repression the next level about is suppression suppression is conscious repression happens in the subconscious or unconscious it's completely out of our conscious awareness the level above that is expression will be go out and express how we feel we let it out into the world it's effective but not the most effective and the most effective of all is surrender simply just letting one of our areas be accepting it fully and seeing it as a part of you embracing it not running away from it we talked about how one feeling can produce thousands of thoughts and how every single thought

26:26is merely a rationalization or a justification that tries to explain why that feeling is there in the first place but the feeling causes that chain of thoughts so the most effective thing to do is to deal with the feeling from the source itself and how you do that is very very simple the process is to accept and acknowledge how you're feeling right now and do it for as long as it's necessary some things can take a day to let go of a week to let go of a month to let go of a year to let go of but the really weird thing is once this letting go thing happens those old feelings vanish from your consciousness you'll even remember them like I can I can tell you if you're someone who's been in this spiritual journey and you've been doing this correctly the

27:28problems that you've had a year ago a couple years ago and you've and you've really if you've really surrendered that you probably don't even remember what what problems there were what you were even worried about you probably don't like it feels like a different lifetime and that's what happens when you've successfully done it and how I describe this to you was through this diagram of what we do when we resist when we resist we give a lot of energy resistance is a lot of energy to focusing on your current accepting takes that energy away from the current and that's whatever the current situation is your resistance play itself out so that you can focus your energy more on what you would like a lot of people spend a lot of energy on problems and not on the solutions they think more about what problems they have in

28:31their daily lives rather than what they would like to see happen focusing on problems is only valuable until you've identified the problem once you've identified the problem it's best to channel your energy in first accepting the problem and second the solution to the problem how can we solve this how can we move forward how can we make this better I realize I haven't completed the second step but I don't remember what it is now oh you can continue on with your life continue on with activities just because your surrendering doesn't mean you have to stop everything it's only when it's overwhelming and you feel that you can't continue it's coming up too strongly the feelings take some time sit down with it and once it's gone get back to what you're doing with that I conclude this video thank you so much for watching I sincerely hope this was helpful

29:34please let me know in the comments below what you thought of this if this was helpful to you if you have any other suggestions I'm always reading the comments and if you're new to the channel make sure you like comments subscribe hit that rule bell there so you don't know if I have any new video that I put out and also if you'd like to work closer together with me and my team in our flagship reality mastery program and spots for that are now open so you can click on the link in the description to sign up who we typically work with are people who are entrepreneurs and business owners who are making at least five k a month in their businesses and they're seeing that they have all of the tactics and strategies to make six figures make 10k 20k 30k a month but for some reason they're not making that and they're seeing that the problem isn't a tactical strategic problem they have personal problems that are starting to reflect in their businesses that are affecting their business you know other areas of their lives as well and because of that they keep staying stuck they're inconsistent they can't put in the work that sounds like you and encourage you to

30:34click on the link to sign up to see if we can help you and a free Facebook group is open free to take advantage of the link for that is also in the description guys thank you so much watching till next time peace