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March 26th, 2026
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It's 8.41 on this Thursday morning with the musers.
It's a big day because it's Rangers opening day and they're opening on the road in Philadelphia.
So we thought we would eavesdrop on Philly All Sports Radio.
See what they're saying about this matchup in this series?
Let's bring in the touchdown brothers, Dylan.
All right, guys, thanks so much.
Hey, thank you.
I appreciate the time there.
Skip Schumach, other Rangers manager.
Why are we talking to the manager of the Texas Rangers?
It's opening day.
It's opening day and it's in the Philly's day.
That I'm a Rangers, the most irrelevant team in the history of baseball.
No doubt about it.
Why don't we have Rob Thomas on Thompson, the top of the Philly's manager.
Why not?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Oh,
sorry.
Turned off my, oh, my God, I started gesticulating
and I got crazy and I hit the wolf.
But
on the microphone,
which I tell you that I'm just so worked up.
I can't talk to Anthony.
My sister's, that's my sister's kid.
Okay, he's having a lot of time right now.
Yeah, he switched ADHD medicine and he's all out of swaths and everything.
And anyway, can I reset?
Let me reset.
Show show.
You listen to the touchdown brothers.
I'm Jimmy M.
Jola, he's Tony right now.
We got to thank last hours guest.
Craig Miller from cycling came on here to talk about an event.
He did with George W. Bush and the former daughter picture.
Clayton Kershaw.
That was fascinating stuff.
I got to tell you, especially the part where the president asked him about
the fake indie read that I guess Craig does on his cycle.
I just saw I didn't know.
Apparently, I don't know.
That was good stuff.
That way I didn't do a cycling show.
I don't know how to believe me.
I have no idea.
How was anything from Dallas?
Listen.
I know, man.
Well, it's open day and we'll fire it up.
You can come out and see us at the Philly fan zone.
If you can eat 10 cheese steaks and down 10 beers in 10 minutes,
you get free outfield seats.
Yeah, it's the same promotion.
We do every year every year.
It's great.
We've had very few deaths.
We know we've had a few, but it's so fun.
I do that pretty much before every year.
You do it.
And hey, speaking of, we got to say this, you know,
we're glad to have you back on the show, Tony.
After your quintuple bypass was a bet of the last years.
Hey, look, uh, Dr says you got to keep quit eating so much cheese thing.
Yeah, well, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Make your ninth quintuple bypass, Tony.
You get your punch guards filled.
You're going to get the next one free.
Look, I got to tell you because of hippo laws,
I really don't want to talk about hippo laws.
Yeah, I didn't call you a hippo.
I said, you're fat.
No, that's the privacy thing.
You know, what is the hippo law?
It's the private that you're fat.
Everyone can see it.
I'm talking about, Tony, I'm talking about
going public with medical procedures.
Uh, but you don't want to talk about public with medical.
Everyone knows that you're fat and they can see when you're
shirtless, half the shows we do on the stream,
you're shirtless.
People can see nine quintuple bypass,
yes, got that.
Okay, they can count them.
I don't count.
I don't need you telling what I had.
Okay, that's all I'm saying.
I tell you what you know what, you're intolerable.
You're intolerable.
You're talking about some sort of hot issue.
When I try to talk about opening day
and the fact that the feelings, I think are going to be great.
I think they got a good lineup between Kyle Schwab,
Bryce Harper, and they got the new guy.
Adolesse Garcia.
I don't think that's right.
I think that yeah, I don't think that's right.
I think it missed, missed pronouns in that name.
No, it's Adolesse Garcia.
I think it's something else.
He was pretty good a couple years ago.
His biggest problem was though he played for the Rangers.
Why do they say he plays who played in Texas?
Why do they do it?
But anyway, hey, it's good to get off to a good start.
I'd play a couple against Texas and get off to an undefeated start.
Oh yeah, it's nice.
It's nice.
It's easy, cheesy pickets.
And then off you go into the season.
All right, problem.
All right, nothing, nothing.
I thought I was going to say something about
where the rake was going to be mentioned.
But anyway, I'll move on here.
You threw me off there.
What do you mean?
I didn't know what that rake.
What does that mean?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't really don't know.
Let's go ahead and take a phone call.
It's going to sell and sell, Philly sell.
Yo, I want to talk to my brother.
Hey, how are you?
It's too scared to do it.
Hey, I don't know.
That's not how they're going to do it.
I'm not going to be playing any of the times.
That's not how they're going to do it.
Ooh, the range is oozing.
Scared, oozing.
Yeah, right?
Ooh, I'm scared, too.
Last times I checked,
we's got two World Series titles.
The range is got one.
Bobo!
Bobo!
They got one.
They got one.
They got the ranges ever win anything.
They got one by one.
Seriously, when did they win the World Series?
Last time I checked,
the Philly's have been around since 1883.
The ranges has only been around since like 2010.
That's right.
Oh, I think this is the first year.
I think it's 2010.
It's such a great choice.
Our greatest players are Mike Schmitz
and Lefty's Carlton's
and their greatest players is something like
a Rougnet Odures.
Oda!
His last name is Oda.
This is like a beer.
Hey, I wrote some new Jerry Jones Cowboys jokes.
Do you want to hear some?
Oh, yeah, Zingham.
Zingham.
Yeah, guess.
Hey, everybody.
The Cowboys didn't do nothing in free agency.
It's like,
they didn't do nothings
and they're the do-nothings, Cowboys, huh?
Yeah, it's really high-pitched.
That's, uh...
I got one, there's more.
Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, everybody.
Jerry Jones said he was going to spend bigs and free agencies,
but the only thing he's spent bigs on
is his stupid helicopters' yachts.
Okay, that's a bad...
What's a helicopter's yachts?
I got one's questions for you two, guys.
Yeah, what's up, Sam?
Yeah, go ahead, Sam.
Do the ranges suck away.
Oh, the boom!
By the big, by the boom!
The day, baby!
I'll play it all right.
Coming up next, a new male-only fans model
comes on to tell us how he has made millions
doing dick-for-meel in spider-otic shows
with something called the horny stump.
Justin Masamata-may-oha, he's going to join us next
on the next stop, Rodas!
I get it!
They're not going to make it through the baseball season.
There's no way we're showing them.
8.49 on the ticket.
We'll check in with the invasion next.
Hi, I'm Adam Devine, chief fundraiser
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No, no, no, no, no, I said more fun!
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