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Brought to you by the EveryDollar app, start budgeting for free today.
Normal as broke and common sense is weird, so we're here to help you transform your life
from the Ramsey Network in the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio.
This is the Ramsey Show, and I'm Rachel Cruz hosting this hour with Dr. John Deloney,
and it's a special show because we're kicking off our money and marriage events and have
many people here in studio that are going to be attending the events, which is so fun.
And so we are here, though, on this show to take your calls, so you can give us a call
at Triple 8, 825-225, the lines are open, so we're here to talk about your life and
your money.
Up first, oh gosh, all the way in Alaska, we got Aaron.
Hi, Aaron.
Hi, how you doing?
We're doing great.
How can we help?
So my question is now that I am engaged to the most amazing woman in the world.
When we do get married, we've agreed that we want to combine our finances into one account
and do that together.
But I've won, I've never combined finances with anybody before, even in my first marriage
in two, is I actually kind of have some control issues that I know I have.
So my question is, what advice would you guys give to people and how we can be successful
in doing that together?
It's a great question, very self-aware, Aaron.
Tell me about your control issues.
For a person with control issues to say that sentence out loud, that tells me you're
pretty special.
What does control issues mean?
I've spent the last couple of years in therapy kind of getting over my own personal things
and stuff like that the last year or two.
I think for me, it's, I get really frustrated when, you know, part of it's kind of like
not getting my way or I think this is the best way to do this.
Why aren't we doing this way?
And then just kind of micromanaging things and stuff like that.
And I know it's been an issue in past relationships.
I mean, so this isn't something that I want to get in the way with me and my fiancee.
Bro, this is what changing a family tree looks like in real life.
I'm super proud of you, dude.
Oh, thanks, man.
Like for real.
To be able to say, I've hurt people in the past.
I've not been the guy that I want to be and I want to do something different and I'm
going to go get the education and now I'm asking for wisdom on like, okay, rubber meets
the road.
How do I do this thing?
That's how the whole country will change if people will start doing what you're doing
right now.
So here we say, I'm proud of you.
It's awesome.
Well done.
Well, you mentioned this is a couple of years.
It's been all about that.
Good.
So good.
You mentioned this is your second marriage.
Is it her second marriage as well?
It is.
It is.
Okay.
Because we do find with second marriages specifically that not that it's harder to take
this step of combining finances, but there's already been so much pain and hurt and untangling
of finances.
If they were combined in the previous marriage that going into the second, sometimes it's
like a bigger hill to climb to be like, okay, we're going to do this.
But the fact that you guys are doing something even differently than your first with money
is so encouraging.
So, so yes, what I would do is like when we say combine accounts that really means mostly
your primary checking and any savings accounts, right?
We're not combining any retirement.
We obviously want to take advantage of each of you having your own retirement.
And when you're looking at combining it, there's a couple of things.
So it's the logistical side of just changing checking accounts, which some people we hear
that excuse, like, oh, I just want to go down the bank and do it.
It's just so much work.
So there's that side.
But then there's also the side of realizing, okay, she is going to spend money on things
that you may not truly understand and vice versa.
And what's beautiful about that, though, is that's where the conversations start to happen.
Even in the conflict, that starts to happen.
So if you can kind of get ahead of that, Aaron, and do a budget together, sit down together
and walk through where you want your income to go as you guys combine income, since I say
this is one.
But you can start having those conversations and engagement.
I wouldn't pull any triggers till after you actually are legally married.
But this is a great point.
And even the wedding planning, you know, is a great kind of springboard into this, like
create a wedding budget.
You guys sit down, you know, even have a checking account for the wedding budget and say,
hey, here's what we're going to spend.
And plan that out together.
It's kind of a little bit of a test run before you guys actually combine everything and
pay bills together.
And I'll give you two practical tips, okay?
You ready?
Yeah.
And I got this from Rachel and from Dave.
Tip number one is, since you're the controlling guy and you know that about yourself, I'm
guessing to use Rachel's language, you're the nerd, right?
You have a way that things need to be done, right?
So you go first and you make the budget and you bring it to your budget meeting.
And then you slide it across the table to your wife and you say nothing other than I want
you to look at this and change a few things.
And then hold your breath and exhale and do all your breathing exercises.
You learned in therapy and all that.
Change as much as you want.
Yeah.
Change what you want.
And then y'all, and then here's the beautiful part about it.
Here's the second tip.
Any time y'all get into a conflict on, when you say, I think we can do groceries for $100
this month and she's like, actually, it's 700 and you're like, oh, I'll just eat right.
You get those kind of nonsensical things.
I want you to use this phrase.
The story I'm choosing to make up is, and for people who struggle with control issues
by framing it that way, you are opening yourself up, you're inviting someone in to challenge
your story.
And yours might be, the story I'm choosing to make up is, you don't think I'm smart.
Or you think I'm dumb.
Or you think that I don't know how to do math or like whatever.
And then she can say, no, that's not the story at all, actually.
And then now y'all are coming together on an issue.
You get what I'm saying?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, you're pairing into my soul right now, man.
Okay.
I may or may not have control issues myself.
So like being able to just put that on, and by the way, this isn't just going to be your
money.
This is going to be about sex.
This is going to be about kids.
This is going to be about where y'all live.
If you can start hard conversations with the phrase, hey, this just happened.
And the story I'm choosing to make up about it is, then you give somebody an opportunity
to connect with you.
I say this and I don't mean it to be cheesy, but conflict and marriage can be a great
thing.
It means something matters.
And when you invite somebody into it, it's amazing.
When you start a conflict with, I'm right or you screwed that up.
What's your fault?
Yeah, it's your fault.
Then what you're doing is you're declaring war and they have to defend themselves, right?
And so just those two things.
And Rachel, I'm over dramatic.
We know that.
I like the idea of both of y'all cancelling your current checking accounts and getting a
new bank, unless y'all just have like a broed out relationship because there's something
about.
Y'all have both had other marriages.
This is like us starting completely over on the same page, in the same place.
And I kind of like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I can.
No.
I'm listening.
I'm right there with you.
Okay.
Yeah.
And combining money, it is one of the more scary, vulnerable things, especially when you
get married later.
It's your second marriage, like I said, because you're so used to doing something the way
you've been doing.
You've worked for you up into this point.
And so changing the way, maybe you, not necessarily see money, but how you're handling it.
And then entering into someone else's story, right, that she has her own set of how she
grew up, her tendency is everything.
And you guys combining that, it's one of the best things you can do, Erin, for your marriage.
It really is.
It is such a central point that so many couples miss out on when they choose not to do
it, because you end up running on just completely two separate paths.
And you never intersect.
You never have a chance to have conflict, because it's like, well, that's just his over
there.
And he's going to just do it.
So you guys are, you honestly are.
You have such courage to step in and do something that's really scary, that most couples
wouldn't.
Most couples don't.
And I think you'll be better for it.
You really will.
The intimacy that's created, the conversations that's created, the, you know, the unity on
your goals and your dreams so much comes out of that funnel of money, because money is
a tool that creates the ability to do everything.
And when you're on the same page with it, it's, it's beautiful.
So we're excited for you guys and you know what, it, hold on the line, Erin, Christian's
going to pick up.
We're going to give you every dollar.
There's a wedding gift for you.
The premium for a year.
A, A, Ron.
Yes.
So you guys can.
This one's going to, this one's going to happen.
Just gather.
I'm excited for you.
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Up next we have Bernadette in Tampa, Florida on the line.
Hi, welcome to the show.
Hi there.
How are you doing today?
We're doing great.
How can we help?
Well, we are blessed beyond all measure.
We have a $800-ish house and we have about $334,000 left on the mortgage.
We're both looking.
We're both united and wanting to pay it off, yet we are differing in where we go for
our refinance.
We have both been at students of day Ramsey and I am very, very tickled with wanting to
do a 15.
But my husband, citing wanting to mitigate risk for the unforeseen future that he might
lose his job, which is to stick with a 30 in the event that we would have than a lower
monthly payment.
Sure.
Justin, what makes him think he's going to lose his job?
Right before Christmas, he lost one boss that was traumatizing and unseen enough and then
after Christmas, another boss was let go.
Oh, wow.
So I, he works with computers and five years ago, computer jobs and especially administrative
computer geek, no problem finding a job.
It's not as comfortable now.
According to him, it could take up to a year to find a job and when he did, it might
not necessarily be for the same price tag, so he's, so I hear him and I respect him and
I understand he has handled our finances swimmingly for the last 15 years of our marriage when
we combined our finances and he, we have a budget.
I'm sitting here looking at my budget.
We have mapped out what a three months emergency fund would be and a six months emergency
fund would be and we have basically two years worth of emergency fund right now.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
I'm putting a big chunk on our refinance and then in between all of this, he's also saying
I want to go enjoy the Florida waterways.
Let's go get some jet skis.
There it is.
Where are you from?
There it is.
Where are you from?
There it is.
Action is just like wonderful.
I, I can tell you maybe off the air.
There we go.
Oh my gosh.
It sounds like I can spiritually and I like it.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Couple of things.
Number one, you guys are in a great spot, FYI.
Like if, if you don't refinance to a 15 year, you guys are going to pay off your house
early and, and you guys are on track, like you are working your way there.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Like you're not restarting something and changing something big.
It's just more how can we effectively do this as fast as possible, so what you're looking
at.
So nothing is on fire for you guys.
It's just FYI.
Like whatever we talk about on this call, you guys are good.
You're moving in the right direction.
So be encouraged in that.
I agree.
And it was beautiful.
We've got to sit down and he showed me he's like, here, honey, here's our current mortgage.
And this is what it would look like if we paid it off and did nothing else.
And then this is what I couldn't accelerate it.
Mortgage would look like.
And then here's the 15 and the 15 year accelerated and the 30 year accelerated.
And he's like, there it is.
It's not that big of a difference.
Right.
Right.
Yes.
Yeah.
Because I mean, after you guys refinance, you know, it gives your interest rate, probably
will go up a little, right?
I mean, if you've had your house this long, if you've paid off half a million dollars of
mortgage, of your mortgage already, you probably got your loan right before 2020.
We've only had it for three years.
Oh, okay.
So you did get it after a day.
So make it down a little bit.
So what are you guys?
What do you guys make a year?
He makes over 300,000.
Okay.
Okay.
And that's not counting the less stock, the other little folks that go with the job.
Okay.
Just based salary.
Is that for him?
And you guys have a two year emergency fund, you said.
So how much, if you brought it down to six months, how much could you throw at the house?
If you have 300 left, how much is sitting in there?
So six months as we calculate right now is about 40, we'll say 43,000.
And the my take is, let's leave about seven to eight months of emergency fund.
Okay.
So how much extra would you have to throw at the house after all that?
You think I'd be intelligent enough to write that down?
Oh, sorry.
How much do you have saved right now?
What's two years for you guys?
So it's about 176,000.
One, I love how specific you are.
Like 176.
So if you kept 75,000 in an emergency fund, which is double your 40, and you put 100
down on this house as part of the refinance.
You're down to 200.
And you can flip what he told you right back at him, which, and again, this isn't a game
or a competition, but you called us and so we're going to side with you since it's not
that big of a difference, then it's not that big of a difference.
Correct.
And what he, I've tried to be, when we had a conversation, I asked, did you try about
it?
And have you asked or thought, counsel?
And I've been talking to my dad, I've been talking to friends, I've written to you guys.
And for him, he's come from a different place in his life, his, his parents had had to,
he said he grew up wondering whether he would lose the house.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I appreciate it.
So for him, he's like, I'm not quitting, I'm not getting rid of my job.
I don't think I'm going to get fired any time soon.
No, but he has, in his nervous system, he has a lived experience of scarcity.
This could all go away.
So in his mind, to have the potential of a lower payment mitigates risk for him.
And that makes him more comfortable.
So is he, is he playing, I get that, is he planning on paying the house off early?
You guys have a plan to pay it off early.
We are the accelerated concepts that he had, he's anticipating about eight and a half
years.
So when he showed the numbers, the 15 year would be about 8.7 and the 30 year would be about
8.4.
And that's not counting any extra windfalls.
We might put towards it.
Okay.
Okay.
So Bernad, any time I'm faced with an either or, we have to do this plan or that plan.
An exercise I go through and that mean my wife go through whenever it's both, when we're
at odds on something, is we force ourselves to put four or five other variables on the
table.
Correct.
You make 300 grand a year.
You're about to potentially owe only 200 grand on your home.
What if you all just sucked it up for 18 months and just paid this thing off?
Yes.
That's my plan.
And then all of the risk is off the table completely.
You don't need a refinance and get a little lower inch.
All of it.
Everything's we've done in 18 months.
And then he can buy the boat.
He wants in 18 months.
And if he loses his job, y'all can be free.
But you're talking about, y'all are sitting on so much money.
And if I, with earned income and with your equity in your home, I'm telling you right
now, if this is in my house, well, I'll tell you right now, this is exactly what my wife
and I have done a couple of times, which is, hey, we're close enough now.
Let's just bite the bullet for 18 months and get this thing out of our lives forever.
And then we take all risk off the table.
So how does that look like for your family?
Does that mean no vacations because he has a high stress job and we have young ones.
And you know, no, no, no, but y'all live in Tampa.
You could go down to a public beach and have a great time.
That would be a year of not going to like some, yeah, you probably wouldn't blow it out
of the water.
And we, and we say, and you probably heard this on the show because you listen, we always
say it to be intense and baby steps one through three and then four through six is just
being intentional, right?
But for you guys, since this is kind of a stress point, something that you're talking about,
it's almost a little bit more of that acceleration just to be done with it because of it, you know?
So yeah, we do tell people not to be, I have a mortgage run for eight more years, especially
with these numbers that you guys can do.
And the potential risk that you'll have in front of you.
Think about what he's doing.
I wish he's on the phone.
He's holding an electric fence and getting electrocuted from it and he's then telling you
in the other hand, I have to come up with ways to not feel so electrocuted.
What's the electrocution?
It's, I want to hang on to this mortgage for eight and a half years and I have to keep
working this job.
It's super stressful.
I can get laid off from from any moment and I'm scared of death of risk, and so let's
hang on to this thing.
And what we're not saying is I do have my license as a nurse.
I could go back to work.
You could and you could get done with this thing in a year, but you don't have to.
Well, I can't do that.
I do have three young ones.
I'm home.
Domestic engineer.
There you go.
But I mean, I like the idea of y'all letting go of the electric fence at all.
He's really concerned about risk and his story rings true with me.
I understand that feeling.
Then let's clear this thing off the deck and so what we give up elaborate vacations for
18 months.
Let's go to the beach every other weekend.
We can do that on Saturdays and Sundays, but let's get this thing out of our lives for
good.
And then we take the 15, 30 year that proxy war off the tape.
Yeah, and it's not a lofty goal.
These numbers totally make 300 grand.
You could do it.
Yeah.
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All right.
Let's go to Justin in Chicago.
Hi, Justin.
Welcome to the show.
Hi.
Thank you so much for taking my call.
I've been a long time, long time listener and I just purchased the Ramsey book but it hasn't
arrived to me yet and I've just gotten myself my wife and I injured some trouble here and
just looking for advice and solutions on how to get it taken care of.
Yeah.
So glad you're here, brother.
What's going on?
Well, I, um, there is some customer.
There is consumer debt.
There is 18,000 and personal loan.
We have 9,800 in a vehicle loan.
The other vehicle is paid in full.
We have another loan, a HELOC loan of 44,000 and our mortgage, our, we did everything
right with our mortgage.
We put, you know, an acceptable amount down.
I think we put like 25% down and we still owe, we still owe 272 on our, on our home.
Okay.
What's your income, brother?
How much do you make?
Household.
I make, I make 95 on my wife makes 140.
Oh, sweet.
Good.
Okay.
So I know, I, I know that we can, I, I, I know I'm sorry to interrupt, I, I know that
we can, you know, take care of this in a relatively short amount of, of time, but
I just, I've been listening to you guys for so long, which is value your, your opinion
on things.
Let me say this first, Rachel, walk you through a plan.
I can hear it in your voice, man, like, I'm, I'm, it's, it's been a long time.
Yeah.
Like hear me say this and I'm not saying this lightly, I'm glad that you are here.
Yeah.
I'm proud of you for, for recognizing the challenge in your family or challenges
you all are in and a, you have dug yourself a pretty nice hole and you have a humongous
shovel to dig out of it.
But you can't go anywhere if you're going to carry around all the past mistakes you've
made.
Yeah.
So we've got to set them down and say, cool, here we are.
Don't ever want to be here again and we're going to head forward and get out of this
mess.
I, I am, I'm ready.
I'm ready.
Awesome.
Justin, can I ask, you said you've been listening for a while, what caused, what caused
some of this stuff?
What was the car situation?
What's the $18,000 personal loan?
Has life just happened?
It's just been exhausting and you guys feel like you had no way out?
Well, life, life did happen, but to be perfectly honest, I, I put us in this situation and I have,
I have taken the necessary steps for quite some time now to, um, to correct that.
Are you in recovery?
So, um, well, it's, it's not, uh, it, it's not, um, drugs are alcohol related or anything
like that.
It was gambling.
I was going to say, yeah, it was, which is the, the, the real, the curse on our generation
right now.
For sure.
Yeah.
Am I, am I, am I never used to, I never used to be one.
In fact, the reason why we were in such a good position earlier on in our, uh, in our
marriage was, I mean, obviously, we, you know, we both contributed and things like that.
But I was just a, I was a stickler, um, um, things and I, I think I, I think we just got
to a point where we were, where we were doing so well and let your foot off the gas.
I, uh, and I made, and I made a lot of mistakes and it's, you know, it's been about, it's
been about three, three months now where I haven't, I haven't been doing, you know, anything
and just really, really focusing, um, just refocusing, I should say, um, just taking
care, just taking care of this and then I, I, I guess then my next goal is our next
goal, I should say is I'm just going to go full throttle at our mortgage.
Mm hmm.
It's awesome.
It's great.
What is the, um, you know, it's, it's always interesting because we, we get these calls
a lot when addiction, some level of something is paired with this debt.
It's a pretty common equation and I think what the extra hill to climb when you're paying
this off is like, I think there is like a deeper motivation there, especially when you're
changing your life and changing your behaviors, but there also can easily be such shame attached
to it, right?
It's not like, oh gosh.
We just decided to go on all these crazy vacations and got a $2,000 credit card.
That's right.
Yes.
So what you were saying, John, is letting that part go because just in getting rid of this
stuff, we can make a plant like that is easy.
But it really, it's going to be a more fulfilling journey when you do that keyboard to, was
you may have already done, but listen to me, like I need you to internalize this.
Okay.
You hear me?
Mm hmm.
Yes.
If you start this debt paying off journey and you saddle up next to your wife and you
all agree, you'll, you'll make a blood oath and you'll pay this debt off.
If you wake up every day and keep your budget and check your every dollar app, we're going
to hook you up with that for free.
If you do all that stuff because you think you're a piece of crap and this is what you
deserve, I promise you 100% you're going to crash and burn.
If you wake up every day and say, I'm doing this because I'm worth not being chained to
banks and to mortgages, I'm doing this because I want to be a guy that my wife can anchor
into.
My kids can anchor into because they deserve that.
Like they're worth that.
You'll do this forever.
And that's why shame will bear you if you're not careful.
Okay.
Okay.
Because that's really what I've done.
I know it is.
I can hear it on you.
You cannot go through, get out, you go through the baby steps because you think you suck
and you're an idiot and you're a loser and this is your punishment.
This is the path to freedom.
It's not, it's not a, it's not flogging you for what you did in the past.
Okay.
Can I ask you guys a quick question about it?
It's not, I mean, I, I guess it's kind of one of those things where I just, I, how,
how did I get us here?
Yeah.
That's not, I know that and it's not a helpful question right now.
That's a question between you and your therapist.
We're going to start doing the next right thing before we know why.
Okay.
Okay.
Because that's a, that's a, it's a cultural trap.
Okay.
Like you're trying to figure out and get to the root of why I'm going to stop yelling at
my wife before I stop yelling, that's, that's, that's the wrong order.
But you do need, you've got to do the work.
Yeah.
You got to talk to somebody.
You need to be in a recovery group.
You need to do that stuff.
Of course.
But we're going to start, we're going to stop gambling today.
We're going to stop borrowing money today.
Before we get to the root of, you know, what happened when all that stuff is well and
good.
I wrote a book about it.
It's important, but it's not the right order right now.
We're going to stop the harming behavior and Rachel's going to walk you through a plan
right here.
It's pretty simple, especially for guys that make as much money as y'all do.
Yeah.
So we, can I just say one real quick thing?
I, I guess I got a little off track and we do have, we do have a, I, I guess I would
consider a large, a large sum of, of money, but I guess I would consider that my wife's
because her mom did pass away about four years ago.
And it's in a Roth IRA and there's, yeah, I'm going to touch that just and yes.
So keep that all, anything retirement 401k Roths do not touch.
Not because it's hers, but because it's in a retirement account.
That's right.
Because of the texture.
Yes.
Yes.
Keep that there.
And then if you guys have any stocks, any savings anywhere else, throw it at this debt.
But honestly, you guys can have this paid off.
I mean, with your income in, in 18 months, you could do this very, very quickly, Justin.
So you guys pay off the smallest debt first to the largest and include the HELOC.
And then later you can start investing and then we can look at paying off the house.
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to your values, Christian Healthcare Ministries is a great option to think about.
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That kind of freedom is big, especially if you're self-employed between jobs or you just
need something that fits your budget better.
CHM has been around for decades, faithfully serving the Christian community.
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Get started at CHministries.org slash budgets and use promo code Ramsey.
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Ramsey show a question of the day.
Oh, excuse me.
Rachel's going through puberty.
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Oh, man.
I just pre-read this question and I felt a rant coming on.
So you have to go first, Rachel.
I can't wait.
Read it.
Today's question comes from Marco in Arkansas.
Marco, this is for you, bro.
Why do you encourage people to have children and baby step two while they're paying off
debt?
I understand that babies can be unexpected, but why do you encourage listeners to have
a child when it will add a large line item to the budget that could go towards paying
off debt?
If you didn't have that child, the money, bro.
The money saved could go towards debt.
Wouldn't that be a better plan?
Okay.
Here's what I would say.
It would be if the only thing you cared about in life was money.
Money is like a thing to help your life.
So create a life that you love and let money support that.
So yes, get married during baby step two.
Have babies doing baby step two.
Money is not your life.
This is not your life.
Sometimes it has to be for a season to get yourself in a better financial position,
and you may be kind of obsessed for a year or two to get out of debt, like absolutely.
But that doesn't pause the bigger things in life, which are your health, your spiritual
life, your family, like those things trump money.
You have to understand that.
Now again, I will say with the caveat always, there were sacrifices you make, but we're
not sacrificing those things.
Those are, that creates a full life.
So no, have babies.
Have babies in baby step two.
Have two babies in baby step two.
Have five.
Have five babies, Marco.
I want your Marco has babies.
I will say out of all the Ramsey personalities, not to throw them into the bus, he's not
here.
Maybe he can come in and do a segment.
George is someone that's like, hey, if you are stressed to the max, and you keep on
having a baby, you're going to continue to be stressed.
Like he has.
I know, but George also opens his garage with a cell phone, like he's like a special case
of anxious.
Extreme case, extreme, extreme, extreme, extreme, you may, I don't know, think twice
about it.
I think that's what George would may say.
But overall, my philosophy is the big things in life are always going to trump money.
And so have a life that you want.
Well, go, John.
Now here's your way to go.
No, that's just, I, I, what's, you have to rant.
I barely rancid.
No, I'm good.
I, because I'll be ugly.
I, no, you won't.
Go.
You're never, let me say this as somebody who.
We struggled to have kids for years, we've lost a lot of pregnancies.
And I've got two kids that, if you had told, like again, like look at, on paper, you have
a child, it messes up your money, it changes your relationship, it changes your sex life,
it changes everything.
Yeah.
Not just that.
So the algorithm on paper doesn't work.
And if I could snap my fingers and have one thing different in my life, I would have
more kids running around my house because of the depth and the purpose and the, like
you don't know who you are, I believe, until you feel the weight on the squat rack.
And that can be, some people can't have kids, I've been there.
And so that can be in your purpose, that can be in the things that you're doing, that
can be in the responsibilities that you put yourself underneath that you get to carry.
That's where you fight purpose.
And so I can't think of anything greater, any greater calling, if you're able to,
then go have kids.
And so to pause it, because I'm a part of this plan, man, you'll pay off debt as you
go.
That's right.
Because I mean, following your same line of logic, Marco, and again, by the way, I want
to be sensitive to those who can't.
I've been there.
I know that to those who've lost, I've been there.
I get it.
And I can't also not say that it's not super stressful, doesn't cause fights in your
marriage.
It's hard.
Yeah.
And anything in the world worth doing is hard, right?
But following your same thing, Marco, like, let's not have a car then, because that's an
extra expense.
Let's just walk.
And let's not have a home.
Let's live in a tent.
We can do that cheaper.
Like you can follow this line of thinking all the way out.
Yes, that's so.
So we want you to follow a plan that you can actually do.
We want you to make sacrifices where you need to.
And the sacrifices we're talking about are going out to eat for God's sakes and vacations
for crying out loud and working extra.
All that stuff's important, especially for a season, but man, the big stuff, like build
a marriage with somebody way out of getting out of debt, that's amazing.
Navigate having a kid and having also make sacrifices, yes, learn how to say no and learn
how to say not yet, all those things make you give you the life that you really want
down the road.
So.
And I would say too, along those same lines, I think it's so common for people to say,
we'll have kids win and it could be a financial goal.
That was a whole thing and it's like, there will always be something to be chasing, right?
So just do it.
That's where I've changed in life.
I'm a little bit like, have kids, have them soon, I haven't soon, yeah, Marco, you're
fun.
Thanks for the question.
Thanks for the question.
Hey, you're not guessing.
I'm guessing Marko.
Could you back up me and his wife?
Here's what I think.
I think Marko's wife wants to have kids.
I know.
And he's trying to come up with reasons to not.
I want to hook her.
I want to hook her.
Have six, Marco.
Have six.
Okay.
Let's go to Mariah in San Diego.
Hi, Mariah.
What comes at the show?
Hi.
Thanks for having me.
I'm so nervous to talk to you guys.
Oh, don't be nervous.
I'm sitting by Rachel.
We're glad we're coming.
How do you think I feel?
We're glad you called.
We're glad you called.
I'm just a neglecting for pain by calling.
She knows you're going to yell at me.
No.
We call when Dave's not here.
We will not yell.
I know.
And I believe.
So we have been half listeners for the last eight years
of our marriage.
And we pretty much impulsively bought a house because we wanted
to have a house before our first baby.
And so we've been in this house for four years now.
Okay.
And it is 50% of our income.
Okay.
And it is exhausting.
It's like sucking the life out of us.
However, my husband runs his business out of our three car garage.
So we don't we don't really know what to do.
Because we have renters.
And that's how we stay alive.
And so you have renters in your own house.
Correct.
Well, two are family and then one somebody that we found.
And we did background checks and everything.
He's phenomenal.
So we love our renters and we love the environment in our home.
It's just if one of them were to back out or all three of them,
you know, we would not survive.
Yes.
Is it 50% with just what you guys are paying plus what the renters
are paying or that includes the renters?
50% includes the renters.
We get 2400 a month from renters.
Okay.
And we make 6400 on our portion.
So we get about almost 10,000 a month on average.
It's about 9500 a month.
Okay.
And all of our house mortgage and bills come out to about 53 a month.
How much is just the mortgage, not the bills, but just the mortgage?
43.
43.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, you're definitely in a high risk situation and you're having to,
yeah, depend on these people exactly how you're feeling.
Yeah.
I think I, unless he's going to be getting a significant raise anytime soon,
is the business, he's running his own business, is there an upward trajectory?
Like are you guys looking out and say, okay, yeah, in two years,
it's going to double.
Like have you, have you done projections like how it's been a pattern so far?
Yeah.
So he just started in May of last year.
Okay.
So he's not even a year in and he did 125,000 before taxes last year.
And we took home about 86 of it.
And so he's been doing really well and he took off.
And because he's experienced with his previous job, he's got really free,
great clients and he's getting a lot of really great work.
So he sees a lot of growth and I see a lot of growth in the company.
How fast will that grow?
Potentially in the next year.
We're even thinking that he could double it.
Okay.
So we see a lot of growth, but that's the biggest thing is we need the three
car garage because renting a space out here for that price is at least four to
six thousand.
Yeah.
For the space that he needs with the tools and everything that he would need to
move.
Right.
Right.
But my fear is you've already left the house.
What do you mean by that?
Like my fear is you're already out.
And y'all can come up with a bunch of reasons to stay, but I feel you're already out.
Yeah.
The stress is weighing on you, Mariah.
So what I would do is I would have benchmarks for you guys because if you doubled
it, then it goes from 50% to about 35% if my numbers are right.
And then if you doubled the business again, right, if it really is that successful, you
guys will be fine in 24 months.
But the question is you have to have benchmarks and if you can sustain that for 24 months
and hold your breath and say, let's see if this works, I, you could.
But if though, if it does not double in a year, you guys have to have a hard and fast
rule to say we were selling, we're getting out of this if it does not happen.
Dave, we got a lot of calls on this show where life happens.
One day someone's healthy, they're working, providing for their family, and then a curve
ball hits.
You know, we heard all the time, a car accident, a cancer diagnosis, a heart attack, and
suddenly everything changes.
Yeah.
And that's why you've always said that having term life insurance from Xander is essential
because it protects your family if the worst happens.
Yeah.
That's right.
You need 10 to 12 times your income, in coverage, no gimmicks, no whole life junk, just
straight forward term life protection.
But there's another piece that people often overlook and that's long term disability
insurance.
Yeah, it's important to understand the difference between them.
Life insurance steps in when you die.
Disability insurance steps in while you're alive, but can't work.
So it replaces a large part of your income so the bills still get paid while you get
back on your feet.
Now, if your employer gives you free disability insurance, great, take it.
If it's discounted there at a better price, take it.
If not, Xander can help you find the right plan.
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Protect yourself, protect your income, protect your family.
Welcome back to the Ramsey show in the Fair Winds Credit Union studio.
I'm Rachel Cruz, hosting this hour with Dr. John Deloney.
And the phone lines are open.
You can give us a call at AAA8-825-225.
And we're going to go to Little Rock Arkansas and talk to Skylar.
Hi Skylar.
Hey, how are you doing today?
Hi, we're doing great.
How can we help?
Well, I make annual income of 31,700 year and I'm kind of in the bond with a car payment
and a TV payment situation too.
The car is worth like $28,000 when I got done financing and the payment's like $520
out of a month.
Holy smokes.
Yeah.
And then you would bond an ATV for $10,000 and that's $252 a month.
So.
I don't want to kick me while you're down, but that's a very Arkansas thing to do, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a Texas thing to do too.
So there we go.
There's a pot talking to the kettle here.
Wow.
Yeah.
It's terrible.
So I'm thinking I'm just going to have to get rid of this car.
Correct.
And yes, I got a cash car.
It's in over here.
It's a Honda Civic 2009.
So I'm fixing it.
I'm fixing it up.
So I'm very excited.
Good for you.
How much money will you have to put into that?
Not very much.
I got any water pump installed and all that needs now is a oil.
Well, that's great.
The ET oil gasket may be good to go.
So why are you calling us?
You already know what to do.
28,000.
Is that what you owe on the car?
How much could you sell it for?
I'm on it.
Oh, no.
Go ahead.
Say it again.
Say it again.
The negative equity is $10,000.
So I'd be negative $10,000 upside on the car.
OK.
So you can sell it for 18.
Is what you're saying?
Yeah.
OK.
So you just have to take a small loan out if you can for 10 grand.
And how about the end?
Is there any way I can go through Fairwinds or is it any
possible way?
I could do it that way.
You have to call them and they'll sit down and check out your history.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, a credit union or a local credit union would be a great option.
They're usually more willing to work with people and looking at their specific situation.
How about the ATV?
What could you sell it for?
Oh, I'm not really sure.
I haven't looked in the value on the ATV yet.
OK.
It might be, maybe the value is like $7,000, possibly, it's new.
Yeah.
Well, I would encourage you on that one to probably just try to save up the three grand
if you can for the difference and be done with it.
And thank God you have this other car.
I mean, honestly, that's a life saver in this situation.
I used to be debt free.
Yeah.
I used to be debt free a long time ago.
I was managing money really good and I just had a messed up.
Yeah.
We've all been there, dude.
It happens.
How old are you, Skyler?
I am 27.
OK.
Good for you.
What do you do for living?
I work at Indiexscreens on my delivery driver working three days a week.
I deliver teeth to the North War console region.
What do you deliver?
Teeth.
I deliver dentures on the delivery driver for green.
This is becoming my favorite call of all time.
This is?
Ever.
Yeah.
I deliver teeth.
Amazing.
To North Arkansas.
Amazing.
Amazing.
Amazing.
What are you doing?
What are you doing the other two days a week?
The other four days a week.
Well, I spark all the time and I just work.
You spark all the time.
Is that like a weed reference?
No, it is a, it's a grocery delivery platform through Walmart.
You know?
Got you.
Got you.
Got you.
OK.
How much is your, how much is your teeth delivery job?
How much does that pay?
15, 20 an hour.
OK.
Do you get more doing that or the spark grocery delivery?
Grocery delivery, I could pick up a lot.
Maybe around like four weeks, like $800.
So that's a little extra money in my pocket.
It's just, if I can get these car payments situated,
I'll be so much better off.
Yeah, but you're still very, very economically vulnerable, brother.
Yeah.
I want to get you up to 50 or something, right?
Yeah, you can't afford, you can't afford a flat tire.
No.
So barely afford tires on this car.
And I had to put it on a credit card with this.
No, you did it.
You chose to.
But here's the deal.
Here's the deal.
Why don't you pursue more stable work?
Well, I could possibly find a different position.
It's just $1,000,000,000 billion percent
find a different position.
It's just, I love three days a week, though.
But sometimes we have to sacrifice order
to achieve what we want to achieve.
I think we do, Skylar.
Bro, I think we do.
Bro, 40 hours a week.
Working, dude.
Yeah, we got to, we got to, we got to up the, we got to update.
You have to get in the game of life, my brother.
Because Skylar, not that money brings happiness.
We're not saying that, but there is something
about having stability.
Meaningful work does bring happiness.
OK, fair.
Thank you, Ken Coleman.
Yes, thank you.
It does.
If you never call me a penny, you work stable.
If I could be more stable and have no payments,
I mean, that's just a way to go.
Well, exactly.
But I want, I'm going to say you can call this book.
And an emergency fund and a retirement account.
Like, there's some, yeah, there's, um,
Are you dating?
I do have the every dollar app.
Oh, good.
Yeah, but you don't have any money to, to budget with.
Yes, he does.
He's got like three grand a month.
And in 80% of it goes to car pay.
But we're getting rid of it, right?
He's got three budget categories, food, not dying, ATV.
OK, OK, brother, um, I'm going to send you Ken Coleman's book,
Find the WorkerWire to do.
And it has a career assessment in there.
Yeah.
I want you to get serious, I want you to do this exercise tonight.
I'm being totally serious.
And I appreciate you having fun with us on this call.
Listen, I want you to write a letter to 37-year-old you
tonight.
OK.
And I want you to write him a letter about the life he's
going to have because you chose to get off your butt
and stop coasting literally through life.
Yeah.
And the work you put in today, and you're entering into your late
20s and into your early 30s, will be the platform from strength,
from integrity, from work ethic, from skills and contribution
to the world.
Yes, purpose.
People that you meet and shake hands with,
and they learn to trust you, those things
will be the anchor points of your life at 37.
And so I want you to write yourself a letter and say,
here's who I chose that we were going to become.
You're welcome.
And how I discovered a Ramsey show is,
I know this guy that lives in Heaver.
He told me about the Ramsey show.
And I got involved.
And I started listening to the podcast.
I was like, wow, this is the same situation I'm in.
Well, game on in.
A mirrored situation.
Yes.
I listen to the off-podcast every day going down
the road delivering dentures and work.
Not every day, only three days a week.
Well, if I can find all the ones I'll review, though,
one of them.
Oh, Skylar, you know what, you're great.
I would, I'm with John.
You're awesome.
Yeah, finding some purpose, you know what I mean?
Like finding.
I mean, delivery dentures is such a great gift.
Yeah, yeah, I'm not saying that.
But it's the coasting, sleepwalking vibe that we're getting.
That it's like, hey, just let's add a little bit more.
A whole bunch more.
A whole bunch more of excitement and spark.
Ask yourself that scary, terrifying question.
You only get one roll of the dice in this life.
One life.
Are you just going to cash it out, barely getting by,
driving three days a week?
Or are you going to say, hey, I was put on this planet
to contribute.
And here's what that's going to look like.
And part of contribution means I'm going to have peace.
I'm going to be anchored.
I'm going to have some security so that I can offer
that for other people.
And man, that means not working just kind of coasting
three days a week.
That means getting after it.
Yeah, hold on the line, Skylar.
Christian will pick up.
We'll get you Ken's book.
But you have some great foundational things
that you're doing already with habits with money.
We're going to have to make just some big changes
to really leapfrog and jump forward in some progress,
which I believe you could do.
After the holidays, a lot of people
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And it's a wake up call to get intentional.
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Next, we have Susan in Indianapolis.
Hi, Susan. Welcome to the show.
Hi, thanks so much for having me.
What an honor it is to speak with both of you.
Oh, thanks for calling in.
How can we help?
OK, my question in the most condensed form
is how should I handle finances as I go through a divorce?
Oh, man.
What's going on?
Told myself I wouldn't cry.
Oh, it's OK.
No, you're good.
I'm glad you're here.
My husband of 21 years decided to walk away.
And I was completely blindsided by it,
which has left me living in fear and uncertain of my future.
So I'm trying to solve for peace and security.
And Dr. John earlier in today's call,
you had talked about having options.
And I have some options.
And I was just wondering if you can help me
with the best debt forward.
Yeah, go for it.
Put some on the table for us.
Well, so we currently live in my husband's family farm.
We purchased the home a few years ago and remodeled.
And I thought this would be my forever home.
I do not want to leave.
However, he does not want the home.
But he does not want me living there,
because I will no longer be a part of that family.
So before we get going, I want to give you
a couple of frameworks, OK?
Sure.
Whenever somebody files for divorce,
whenever somebody says I'm leaving,
what happens next, you go from married
to we go to a business transaction.
Right.
And so I want you to have this.
I want you to tattoo this on your, like, not for real.
But I want you to tattoo this on your spirit, OK?
OK.
He no longer gets a vote.
Y'all are making a business transaction.
When he chose to leave you, he took his name
all out of the box that sits in the middle of your table
of people who get to speak into your life.
And for a time being, he's going to be replaced with a lawyer.
You get what I'm saying?
Yeah.
And this is how you begin, because what you're feeling,
what you're talking about, I've heard this,
I mean, thousands of times, what you're that sense of loss
and bewilderment, there is literally a death
and it was your marriage.
And you have to grieve it as such, but that takes time.
But that other thing you're feeling
is a sense that you don't even trust yourself.
Right.
Right.
How did I miss this?
I should have seen this coming.
What should I have done differently?
All those questions.
And there's never going to be great answers to those questions.
But it's natural that you ask them.
But the way you begin to regain trust in yourself
that the ground becomes firm underneath you
is you begin drawing very clear, concrete boundaries
about not what he wants, but what you are going to do next.
OK.
And that's why we hire a good attorney.
They're worth their weight in gold.
Because it's literally hiring somebody
to fight for you when you can't fight for yourself.
OK.
OK.
And so if you want to keep this house,
then you have to go to the next layer,
which gets a lot of folks in your situation and trouble,
which is I'm emotionally attached to this house.
This was my forever home.
I don't want to leave.
But I can't, I have a math problem.
I can't afford to live here.
And that's what you have to be brutally honest with yourself
about.
And then he gets to buy out, write you a humongous check
for your part of the equity.
Currently, he is paying for the mortgage
and all living expenses while I stay there.
And his proposal is that I can stay for up to maybe three
years before I can.
Let me say is, he doesn't get a proposal.
I mean, he can tell his attorney what he proposes.
And we are, yes, we're in negotiations right now.
But so I'm just trying to figure out what is best for me
in this negotiation.
In no world, am I going to let the guy who just walked out
on a 20-year marriage be my landlord.
Yeah, no way.
How much is the house worth, Susan?
Probably about 350,000.
OK, and how much do you guys all want to lend?
240?
OK, and question.
With the family, with this being family land, number one,
I'm just curious, do you enjoy his family?
You want to create a life still in that?
I would, I would go, but I would go to a state sale
and get a whole bunch of toilets and just
line the property line with all toilets.
That's what I would do.
We bought three acres in the middle of 80.
And so they own all of the land around where we are.
OK, because sometimes when there's a family land deal,
there's something written within, like,
I mean, is there anything that, like, legally,
you could take this on, correct, like you guys?
No, there's nothing in writing that we said we would never
sell it outside of the family.
There's nothing in writing.
That's what worries me a little bit, Susan,
is that my only fear, even if the numbers work,
and I could be wrong, that you stay on this property
with his family surrounding you, you
want to start a new life.
And then you're like, hey, I'm just making this up.
Me and this other guy in five years
want to move close over here.
And now you're stuck and you can't sell that house,
because I wouldn't want to do that.
I would rather my son, who is, I know he's only 17,
but he's only 17 when he's older.
Yeah, I mean, I don't want to put him in that either.
Let me see, I'm going to say one more thing,
and it's caustic what I'm going to say, OK?
OK.
And it says like a hard truth.
And if you and I were hanging out,
I would wait for about an hour to say this thing.
But we only have a few minutes, OK?
Hit me.
The life you had is over.
God.
The dreams, the wants, the things that I want to be in the future
are now over.
They're different now.
I'm sure you say that all the time.
So thank you for it.
I know it hits hard, I know.
And I don't say it lightly.
I'm not trying to be braggadocious.
No, it's OK.
But trying to think of the way things should have been,
where you'll have this amazing place
on this amazing property, and you deed it over to your son
who's then 28, and he's got a young family.
All of that, your husband ended it.
He set it on fire.
And so that dream, that picture you had
of coming back to your old house, that he now lives,
that your son now lives in with his young family
for Thanksgiving, you have to put that picture
that you've painted in the grieve pile.
You hear what I'm saying?
I do.
And I hate that.
And we want to do what's best for Susan.
Susan, and the next three years, and Susan,
and the next 10 years, and 15 years, you know?
So it is a looking so far ahead, which
is probably so hard to do right now in the middle of the pain.
But I just don't want you to make a bad financial decision
that traps you in something that Susan, 10 years from now,
can't freely live out.
Got it.
So then I do have some other options,
but I don't know if these are good options either.
Okay, let's do it.
Yeah, tell us what those are.
In, you know, in the divorce, I get half of the 401K.
And my financial advisor has told me that I could take that
without penalty and put that towards the down payment on a house.
Do you have anything else in retirement?
I do.
I will get about 31,000 in a Roth IRA.
And then I have about 10,000 in mutual funds.
How much is going to come over in the 401K?
All of it.
I mean, how much is that?
What dollar amount is that?
I'm sorry.
What dollar amount is half of the 401K?
What would that be?
No.
Oh, 106,000.
And then, and then equity, you'll get probably 50,000.
50 grand.
Yeah.
And how much do you make a year?
How much are you working?
I am 45.
Now make 45,000.
Okay.
So I would not pull out a 401K.
I would, you know, so then honestly,
I would probably just go rent something for a year and settle some of this.
And then you can really take your time looking because if you have the ability to put down
a great down payment and find, you know, a little home and your payment is no more than 25%
of your take home money.
And it's all in the parameters of buying a home wisely.
I would be great if you did that, but you don't have to do that next week.
No, don't do that.
Yes.
I mean, don't do it for six to nine months.
I would put a lot of this stuff and I would just hold it and wait a year and grieve.
And then let's look at options.
But I probably would get out of this house if I was you.
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Well, over on the debt-free stage, we have Kyle and Sarah from Akrono, Hi, oh, hey,
you guys.
Hey.
Hi.
Welcome to the show.
Thanks for having us.
Well, what an exciting day.
So how much debt have you guys paid off?
I paid off 150K.
Oh, my gosh.
What did that consist of?
That was our house.
Oh, paid off the house, baby steps.
You'll look like you're 17.
How old are you?
I'm 33.
The 37.
Oh, my.
You have a paid off house at 33?
No, we do.
Well done.
How long does that take you?
47 months.
Just shy of four years.
47 months.
Oh, my gosh.
Okay.
And how much for you guys making during that time?
Started right around 120, up to two, about 145.
Okay.
So what happened?
What was it four years ago that you thought we're going to pay off our house?
We're going to be certain.
We're going to be in our early 30s, mid 30s, and have a paid off house.
How did that happen?
Yeah.
So we ended up buying our house in September 2021.
And almost immediately, I kind of looked at Sarah and we were like, hey, what would happen
if we were able to go ahead and knock this out in less than five years?
And yeah, we just started tackling, just attacking it every single month.
And we really looked at it and we said, hey, how do we have more options in our life?
Have more peace, really just wanted to go ahead and just provide more wiggle room, I would
say.
My gosh.
How much is the house worth?
House is worth around 330.
Okay.
Amazing, you guys.
That's incredible.
How does it feel?
It feels absolutely amazing.
I mean, just wild.
Oh, okay.
So what was the journey like?
How?
What did you guys do?
What were things that you said?
No two.
What were things that maybe you added on?
I mean, you were pretty intense, like you guys really, really were focused on this.
Yeah, we were attacking it pretty heavily, but I would say that one of the first things
that we did was just come in more prepared.
So when we actually came into the house buying process, we were like, okay, how much can
we put down?
We ended up putting down 115 K. And again, your principles here at Ramsey helped us do
that just to be able to get that within that 25% mortgage payment that we were looking
to try to have.
So, but if you if you walked in, I want to double click on that amount of that discipline
that y'all had as a couple.
If you walk in with 115 grand, you qualified for a house twice as much as 350 grand.
Yeah.
On your income, they would have given you the world and y'all said, no, we think we can
find joy and have a great life in this house that we can own out right in five years.
Yeah.
And I was during the times when the interest rates were super low too, so that was kind
of advice that we were going back and forth.
Oh, yeah, also was really stupid that y'all paid that off, right?
Yeah.
So, dummies, dummies, right?
Nobody pays it off with the low interest rate.
Yeah.
Oh, my gosh.
Okay.
So for you guys as a married couple, what does that look like?
You know, we're talking about the money and marriage event this weekend.
How did you work together as a team?
Who's like more of the free spirit who's more I'm assuming you're probably more of the
nerd Kyle.
Is that true?
I'm more of the nerd.
I felt it.
I felt the energy.
I have my every dollar budget.
We have our spreadsheet that we were looking at on a regular basis and that gave me a lot
of, I would say momentum and gave us momentum just to be able to see, you know, if you change
that number on that spreadsheet, how quickly could we get it going from, we had a 15-year
mortgage and start playing with those numbers and you're able to see, okay, we could get
out in 10 years.
What could happen if we up it another $500 and other thousand, hey, we could get done
in five years.
And the interest you don't pay when you do that, that was the big piece for me.
I was going to say, that's what's motivating, same with me girl, that's the motivation
of my class.
20 years of interest, you all get to keep and spend on whatever you want.
I was actually looking at, I was actually looking at your values here at Ramsey just the
other day and I talked about relentless focus over time, multiplied by God equals unstoppable
momentum and I really do think that's been our story is just looking and saying, God,
we're praying for abundance here and just seeing, you know, those extra paychecks come
in or those little bonuses come in and be able to say, hey, we're throwing an extra
two grand, three grand at this and really just having that belief that it's possible at
the end of the day.
So I think that's been our biggest move.
All right, so Sarah, I'm getting some along for the ride energy from you.
How did you hang on for four and a half years?
Not a Kyle.
No vacations, no new cars.
I would say we were not necessarily gazelle in 10.
Which you should be.
That's good.
Good.
Good Kyle.
He backed off.
Yeah, I would have been.
Yeah, he would have been.
But he needs you.
He needs you.
We were a good balance.
So we built in incentives along the way.
We were able to do some renovations to the house.
We had our daughter that took some fertility treatment, monies.
So there were definitely some celebrations along the way, especially when we hit those
big milestones.
Do you have a technique or a trick or a hack or whatever you want to call it, that
you all used when Kyle, you got that extra check and you were like, we can get the principal
down to this.
And you were like, yeah, but I want a human in the house.
I want a child.
How did y'all come to some sort of consensus?
We definitely used the principles of just putting some in different places, a large majority
towards the house, of course.
But then we have like sinking funds that are set up for the things that are really important
to our family.
So we know in order which ones we want to fund first, which is any extra.
That's great.
I do have to say, though, that there was definitely those moments where we had a big chunk
of money ready to go towards the house.
And life happens and all of a sudden you're like, hey, we got an extra three grand to put
towards the house.
But then the car breaks down and it just so happens to cost exactly three grand, of course.
But I guess when we've looked at that, it's always been God providing through that to
say, hey, you know what, you thought this money was going this way, but it needs to go
this way.
That's a good perspective because I always feel like when those things happen, like somehow
the cosmos stole from me, right?
Like it was supposed to be this number.
Now it's not.
And I feel like I got ripped off somehow or whatever, instead of looking at it like you
did on the other side, think God, it's still hurt.
It's still hurt.
It's still hurt.
Yeah.
It's amazing.
Do you guys, did you have people in your life that you were telling or did you guys keep
it kind of on the down low that you were like, we're going to just kind of do this
between us.
Or did you have people cheering you on?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would say that we were definitely cheering each other on because we just kept having that
vision of what would life be like when this payment was gone and what could we do with
that money?
But again, just letting our parents and our families know, hey, this is what we're doing.
We're chasing it down.
Did I think you were crazy?
Were they encouraging?
Encouraging.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My dad was definitely cheering me on and every so often would call and be like, hey,
what's the mortgage down to?
Oh, great dad.
That's awesome.
What a great dad.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was just really powerful just to have people in our corner cheering us on.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Incredible.
You guys, well, you did kind of the impossible.
I mean, today to say that you can pay off your house is most people, most people would say,
no, that's not possible.
It's not possible by house.
It's not possible doing any of this.
And you're living proof that you can and in your 30s, 33 and 37, how long have you
had some married?
Coming up on six years here in April.
Okay.
Okay.
And you all've done this hard thing together.
You all've got been through fertility treatments.
You've paid off the house together.
You can look ahead of you and come what may.
You'll know we've been through worse.
We can handle this.
Yeah.
That's really good.
That's so awesome.
Amazing, you guys.
Oh, we all are incredible.
Okay.
Is the baby here?
She's here.
She's out of here.
Okay.
Are you going to bring her up for that free screen?
Are you going to hold off?
We're going to hold off.
We're just starting nervous if we raise our voices.
You know, that's fair.
We've had many tears.
Not happy kids.
I'm definitely saying that.
You know what?
That's probably right.
Really happy parents and terrified young kids.
Terrified kids.
Okay.
Well, real quick.
One piece of advice you tell someone who's maybe working out a baby step two and they're
saying, okay, the house is next.
What would you tell them?
I'll go ahead and go first and I'll let Sarah share.
But I really do think it comes down to belief.
When I paid off my student loans, 45K in a year, paid off my car in a year.
Those are the track records that I had that I knew it was possible.
Yeah.
I just always come back to the quote, Henry Ford, whether or not you think you can or
you can't.
You're right.
Yes.
And we just knew that we could.
I love it.
The belief part is so key.
It's so big.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I just think having a unified mission.
Definitely, that's our big thing and marriage is being unified.
But with this too, it might have been Kyle's big dream to come here and do all of this.
But then I latched on to that too because we need to be unified in all of our visions.
And then just consistency and being able to track what we're doing and staying on top
of it that way.
We have weekly kind of marriage meetings and finance meetings and so it's good to stand
track.
We're going to teach the money marriage to treat this week.
I know.
We're coming.
We're excited.
We're coming.
We'll see you guys there.
All right, you guys.
Well, we have Kyle and Sarah from Akron, Ohio making or paid off $150,000, which was their
house, making 120 to 145.
They did it in four years.
All right, you guys.
Count it down.
Let's hear your big, deaf free scream.
Three, two, one.
We're deaf free.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Well, Dave, you know, on the show all the time we get calls about cars, used cars.
What's one thing you want folks to know?
Well, really a couple things.
Number one is always buy used unless you got a million dollars.
We don't buy new cars.
And if you're going to buy used number two, you want it to last.
And that means regular, proper maintenance.
Yeah, that's a big deal.
I know when Sam and I moved from South Florida up to Tennessee, that's the first thing you're
looking for.
You need somebody who can take care of your car.
So when we found Christian brothers automotive, it was a no-brainer and they've been absolutely
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We wish we could get to every call that calls in because usually some people leave voicemails
and we can try to call them back and get them on the show and then sometimes we can't.
So if you have a money question and you want to answer to your specific situation, head
to our website and use ask Ramsey.
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So we have taken the money principles here at Ramsey and gone through it all and said,
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on podcasts, you can click the link in the description.
All right, let's head to Houston and we have Chris on the line.
Hi Chris.
Hello.
Hello.
Thank you for taking the call.
Absolutely.
How can we help today?
Well, I have a dilemma or a dilemma.
I don't know how to call it, but I'm a big current year and I really want to send a phone
to Dan.
We have two SUVs fully functional.
We don't need another car, but I want to and I just want to hear your opinion if it's
a time to buy something like that or I should still wait or not buy it all.
I don't know if it would be the answer from your side.
Well, number one, I just want to shout you out to you.
The fact that you called and said, I don't need this.
I want it already, like, put you in a different category of person that usually calls this.
Usually people are calling us and trying to explain why they need this thing so bad.
So shout out to you for just keeping it real.
That's awesome.
Okay.
So Chris, what's your financial situation?
Do you have consumer debt?
No, we only have mortgage to $100,000.
$200,000.
How much do you guys make a year?
About $178, depending on the bonuses and stuff like that.
$178, is that what you said?
$178, $180,000 per year.
$180,000.
Okay.
And what do you have, say, how much money do you have that you would spend on this car?
Well, I checked the net or the assets every quarter.
And in January, we were close to $800,000 for everything, like retirement accounts.
Oh, retirement.
Okay.
Savings, equity in the house.
So everything total came to about $405 in cash, another $17,000 is what's called, like investment
account that is taxable account.
Okay.
Is the $45 in cash, is that all you have?
Does that include an emergency fund, too?
Is that what you would use in case of an emergency, or do you have another fund for that?
Yeah.
Well, the taxable account is also accessible as an emergency or something like that.
But yeah, that's the cash.
It's money market, $24,000, that's all emergency and kind of flash funds.
So I don't break them by $1,000 or three to six months, it just stays there.
We're not touching it with a clean account.
Okay.
How much, from the lifestyle that you guys live, how much do you spend a month on your
life, including mortgage and everything?
How much do you think it is?
Food, bills, I love it.
Oh, I love it.
It's about $67,000 a month.
Okay.
And do you guys, do you all have kids?
Three, yes.
Three.
Okay.
Okay.
Perfect.
Well, so you have that $45,000 and that's $17,000, so I would probably want a six month.
$17,000, $17,000.
Oh, $17,000.
Oh, $17,000.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Okay.
Okay.
I've been paying $10,000, $20,000, depending on the day.
Okay.
I got you.
I got you.
Okay.
All right.
So, and you guys are consistently investing in retirement over $800,000.
And you said with equity in the home and retirement and everything else.
Yes.
Yes.
You've proved about 20% in retirement.
Okay.
Okay.
So, you're going to have a car?
Well, it's about $30, $35,000.
Okay.
What kind of car is that?
I used it.
BMW FM-550I.
So, sedan.
We have two SUVs and I'm going to desire for a faster sedan.
For a, yeah.
What is your, what does your wife think?
Well, she's not saying no.
But then I have this guilt inside of me.
I keep everybody on the budget and now I need to launch for myself.
So, that's another kind of factor in the decision-making.
I feel very bad that I'm keeping on the budget.
All of us in now, suddenly I'll launch something that I've done.
We call that a midlife crisis, but we all have them.
So, that's okay.
Probably.
No.
Okay.
Here's what I would like the money side of it.
Here's what I would like you to consider on the relationship side of it.
What if you took your wife?
I'll do your kids by the way.
Almost eight, six and four.
Okay.
So, what if you took your wife out and you all spent a half day together that you, you planned?
And y'all dreamed about, hey, we almost have a million dollars net worth.
We have three amazing kids.
Our marriage is good.
Like, what do we want our house to look like?
What are some dreams that we have?
Give her an opportunity to put some things on the table that she might want, might dream
about, things that she would love to see and experience.
And then y'all come up with some ways to fund the everybody's vision, you know what I'm
saying?
I do.
And they kind of have a quarter of the business dates where we, we're talking about that.
They go to a nice restaurant and kind of I give a report.
Okay.
We'll change here.
We are.
We're doing what we're going to do next.
What do you think?
What's your default?
Yeah.
So Chris, is there anything?
No.
Yeah, that's great.
But that's a business report.
I want you to do a dreaming report.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
Yeah.
Is there anything in the future that you guys are you wanting to upgrade the house?
Any renovations?
College funds?
Yeah.
Is there anything looming at all that this money could be used for or are you guys kind of
in a holding pattern right now?
You're like, we're kind of good.
We're just invested in retirement.
Kids college, the kids are little and we're just stacking cash because we, we have margin.
Nothing.
Nothing depends on those money like we bought, we go to Europe every year.
I'm from from South Eastern Europe, so we spend like $6,000 on tickets and we can afford
it without going to savings.
Yeah.
You can just cash flow it.
Sure.
Yeah.
This doesn't depend on that kind of you.
Yeah.
So we have the plan for that.
We've done the rent.
Okay.
Well, yeah.
I mean, if I'm you, I'm looking at these numbers and I'm thinking, okay, that's 70,000.
It's in that one account, 35 of it is emergency fund, 35 would be car.
So I'm basically that, that account to me is not existing anymore because I'm not even
to think about the emergency fund.
I'm not calculating that.
It's just going to be over here in case of an emergency, which means we have 45,000 in
the other account.
If something comes up, that again, we're not going to touch the emergency fund for, but
if you needed, you know, a big purchase that that's how I would, that's where I would
go.
It would be that 45,000 dollar fund.
For you.
So I'm saying, I mean, I think so.
There's nothing.
Right now for me.
No.
I mean, I think you guys are doing great.
I think as long as you're consistently investing, you're living below your means, you
have the cash for it with, you know, an extra 75,000 dollar cushion, including the emergency
fund after the purchase of this car.
I would be okay with it.
The only, and financially, of course, I, your wife, yeah, I want you.
And again, I, my bias is people only call me when things aren't going well in their
marriages, right?
So I don't want to put, I don't want to put my bias on you, okay?
But I do want you to ask yourself the question.
And it might be you taking yourself out for a half day and doing some journaling, some
writing out, some dreaming on your own.
But do you want to get this car because you love, like you said, you love your car enthusiast,
you got a gang of guys you want to drive around with, you just want to go cruising in Houston.
That's where I grew up.
There's, I mean, there's hundreds of miles of highways to drive.
Like, is that what I want to do or do I have an eight year old, a six year old, a four
year old?
I've got a routine and I'm just finding myself getting bored.
I want more, more the motivation of the purchase because you're going to, if that's the case,
you're going to spend 35,000 bucks, you're going to be bored on this one.
And then you're immediately going to start looking for the next one and then the next
one.
Right.
And so I would rather you deal with the, am I creating, am I co-creating a life with my
wife where there is excitement and aliveness and eroticism and fun and responsibility?
Are we doing that stuff together or am I trying to escape or am I trying to escape?
And this becomes a really, really expensive, you know, like social media app, just a way
to numb out the fact that I kind of am starting to feel kind of bored.
I see.
You know what I'm saying?
Very good.
Nice painting.
Very well, yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So from the financial side, Chris, I think you guys have enough margin.
I think you're fine.
I really do.
But John's insight is probably what I would put some of the focus on.
So even saying no to this purchase might be a better decision for you, just for you.
But if you're comfortable with the answers that you get when you, when you ask yourself
those questions, then get that car and cruise the streets, baby.
It's Green Line.
Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fair Windsor Credit Union Studio.
I am Rachel Cruz, hosting this hour with Dr. John Deloney.
And you can give us a call.
It's triple eight, eight, two, five, five, two, two, five.
Okay.
We're heading to Cleveland, Ohio to talk to Elizabeth, high Elizabeth.
Hello.
Thank you for taking my call.
You're so welcome.
How can we help today?
Well, I'm looking for guidance on how to wisely handle my elderly mother's finances without
enabling a lifetime pattern of debt.
This is a tough one.
So what's the current situation?
Yeah.
Yeah.
My mother is 83.
She's single and lives alone in a rural community in another state.
Her only income is social security of about $1,400 a month and she has no savings.
For decades, she's cycled between being rescued financially and accumulating $40,000
in debt.
And it seems as though that she has a spending addiction and she makes desperate financial
decisions and never followed a budget.
So right now, she owns her home outright with low property taxes less than $1,000 a year
and the house is set up for aging in place.
Our hope is that she can live there, live out her years there.
It's far cheaper than renting and she also has an older, reliable car.
So the situation now is, she's currently in debt of $40,000 again, it's $32,000 in a
HELOC and $8,000 in credit card debt.
Then she took out various life insurance policies to cover her debt because those television
ads during the day, you're towards her demo, their credit and predatory, yep.
They're predatory.
Yeah, they prey on.
It's awful.
Exactly.
People in her situation, lonely by themselves, isolated and they scare them to death and then
they sell them a solution to their fear.
Right.
So now she's paying $40,000 in debt, paying interest, making minimum payments and paying
for those life insurance policies.
Okay.
Hold on.
Hold on.
I want to cut to the reality.
Has she come to you and said, I have a problem, will you help?
Yes.
Okay.
Awesome.
So two weeks ago, she came to me and asked if I could give her $500 to help with some expenses
and I said no.
She then made arrangements to make some late payments to creditors and we took, we think
that she's going to be in dire straits in about a month.
So my husband and I have an idea that we're considering paying off her debt, taking control
of her social security income, putting her on a strict budget, trimming her expenses,
getting as much assistance as possible, paying her bills directly and giving her a small
weekly allowance.
But currently her expenses are more than her social security, so she might not get an allowance.
We would like to inherit the house.
It's in a lake community.
But the big concern is how do we prevent her from opening new credit, doing a reverse
mortgage or creating another mess instead of her living within her means with food and
shelter?
So our question is, is paying off my mother's debt and taking over her finances wise or
is there a better way to address the issue?
I mean, if she would agree to that and also agree to signing over financial control to
you guys, make you like financial power of attorney and also freeze her credit.
So she can't take out any loans and no one can take out loans against, you know what
I mean, if she and you had the code, right, you had to log in to unfreeze her credit?
I mean, that sounds like a good solution.
I don't think it's a good solution to, I don't like the word allowance because I think
she's going to bulk at that.
Okay.
Because then she's going to feel like suddenly she's your middle school child and that's
a hard psychological shift for somebody.
But if you and also we want her to have a good quality of life, right, like I want to
have somebody to go do some stuff and whatever.
But there is, like you said, there's a financial reality.
So if she would agree to all that, I could see that being a great solution.
Yeah.
I mean, I may be Debbie Downer in the sense that like when, you know, an 83 year old,
I don't know how much change is going to occur in her to figure out, you know, there
will be no, yeah, that's a great, there'll be no
psychological awakening here.
Agreed.
Right.
You're no learning.
So it's more just keeping, honestly, it's more just keeping peace with her and her ladder
part of her life, right, keeping the lights on and helping her stay afloat.
I mean, it's basically what you guys are doing.
You're helping her survive.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I'll also say if, I think this, again, this is my personal take that the main driver
underneath a lot of this pathology and aging populations is loneliness.
And so if there was some sort of, you have to get involved, you have to do some things
with a local community groups, you have to do some stuff because that has a way of, yeah,
that will keep her alive longer that will give her more reason to wake up every day.
And you get what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Do you have siblings Elizabeth?
No, I'm an only child.
Okay.
And in the sandwich generation of taking care of our own family and, yeah, yes.
And are you guys in a financial spot to do this?
Um, yeah, I think so for that, for that amount, you know, if, yeah, as a gift, if we were
to cover roughly 40,000, we wouldn't want to do it again.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Totally.
But you guys have to cast like you wouldn't be putting yourselves in a bad position in order
to do that.
Well, no, my husband recently retired.
So he's got access to retirement money and how much you guys have worth is, we have
a net worth of two million.
Okay.
Okay.
And what's he say?
What does your husband say about all of it?
Um, he would like to help out.
Oh, sweet.
That's cool.
Yeah.
Is there a possibility, and there's going to be tax implications in this, so sitting
down with a good tax pro or tax attorney would be helpful here?
Is there a possibility that y'all buy the house and put it in your name that way, nobody
else can take a lean out on it.
Nobody, she can't take out another HELOC somehow or, or, you know, I'm saying, we considered
that we also have a daughter in high school and we're about to start funding college.
And we don't want to have more assets.
Mm-hmm.
Not until, yeah.
Until it's turned over, yeah, that makes sense.
So yes, I mean, if she is, if she's willing to do all of that, Elizabeth, I think that
that's, I mean, at this point, I think that's smart.
I mean, I think, you know, you taking over and her, I mean, her, because it's her literally
reaching out to you and saying, I can't do this anymore because I obviously cannot be
trusted to make smart decisions and I need someone to step in.
And she's 83.
How's her health?
Yeah.
It's her health.
She in good health.
Um, she, she's okay.
She has diabetes, so that's chronic, but other than that, and it's controlled.
Okay.
Um, I'm guessing she'll be with us for at least 10 plus years.
Okay.
Yeah.
Who knows?
I, if she agrees to all of your things, which I would, I would just give in my experience,
put that as a big maybe.
Yeah.
If she does, you have to steal yourself for she will say mean things to you, she'll
call you crying, she'll be upset with you, very similar to how a teenager would be
with some pretty significant boundaries in you and your husband are going to have to
know part of this is not just going to be holding the line financially, but we're going
to have to have the emotional fortitude to deal with a mom that suddenly turns on us even
and we're trying to help, because I think that will come with this territory here.
Hey guys, Dave Ramsey here.
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Let's go to Alex and Idaho.
Hi, Alex.
Alex are you there?
Yeah.
Hey.
Yeah, welcome to the show.
Good.
Good.
So my question is, I know Dave teaches to put 15% of your income into retirement, is
are there ever an appropriate time to stop making those contributions before retirement?
Possibly.
I mean, investing is really part of the whole financial picture that you're looking
at for your future and different generations beyond.
How much do you have right now in retirement?
I have 850,000 in my retirement.
I'm 50 years old.
I plan to work for at least the next 10 years.
I did this last year, I did $20,000 in contributions and my 401k grew by 100,000.
And so I just when I put my figures into an investment calculator, it says in the next
10 years, with no additional contributions, I'll be at $2.3 million.
And with $20,000 in contributions in 10 years, I'd be at $2.6 million.
So would it be, I mean, it's a $300,000 difference, but should I start taking more elaborate
vacations now rather than wait?
How much do you make a year?
My wife and my combined income is about $215,000.
$215,000, okay, yeah.
And so yeah, you put $20,000 in as you're 15%.
Yeah, well, and that's just my side of it, she's got a pension plan she puts into.
That's she's going to be okay.
Well, for me, I think there is, it's more than just the numbers to me, part of it is the
numbers.
And then part of it, too, is looking at your whole financial picture and is a balanced
meaning we always want to be giving, we always want to be saving, and we want to be spending
and enjoy.
So my question to you is that $20,000, that big of a swing for you guys lifestyle wise?
Well, I'm not sure, it's, I mean, I feel like we've got a pretty good lifestyle right
now.
We go on vacation and we have fun and things, but again, yeah, $20,000, we could do a lot
more fun stuff.
Sure.
Well, and I guess I would ask you to expand your time horizon because you're talking about
compound growth over a decade, but imagine yourself at 80 if you live for, what, three
more decades.
That gap is going to be significantly bigger, do you get what I'm saying?
I do, yeah.
And so it, again, I don't have a calculator in front of me, but you say like if I, if I
go out 10 years, one is 2.3 and one is 2.6, if you go out another 10 years, is it going
to be 2.6 or is it going to be four and then it's going to be six million, right?
It begins to compound pretty significantly.
The longer you go out, right.
And so, and I'm kind of with Rachel, I don't get the depth of your question because if
you're making $250K a year, y'all are bringing home a chunk of change.
And so $1800 a month into the retirement doesn't seem like that will impact your monthly
anything at all.
Is your house paid off, Alex?
It is.
It is.
Okay.
Good for you guys.
I mean, listen, you're, you're an adult.
I think you guys can run the numbers and decide for yourself, which one I just, part
of the baby steps and what continues on, like once tonight we have, we have enough.
We're fine.
If we stop, but we're not stopping, it is still this continual pattern for us because
there is something about the giving, the saving, the spending, all of it that creates something
in all of us.
It does something for us.
And, yeah, I don't know, I, I, and it's 800,000, which I get in seven years, it doubles,
you know, I'm, I know all of that, but there is something about just having some cushion
there.
And I'm not a big scarcity mentality person, but again, it's not like you have 8 million
and we're like, oh, yeah, you're fine.
There's, I don't know, there's still life to be lived and you guys, I just don't want
you to ever touch that principle to be able to live off the interest.
And so, for me, I would continue investing, but you guys, you guys can decide.
All right, let's go to Darian and Colorado Springs.
Hi, welcome to the show.
How are you doing?
Hi, we're doing great.
How can we help?
So, we have two houses, one of them purchased in 2020, one of them purchased in 2023 when
we got married.
We've been renting out the townhouse that we purchased in 23 and it's, we bought it
and it was on the very, like, high end of our budget and we, you know, used rent to
come to qualify, but we are now trying to sell it.
And when we did have it rented out, we rented it for 2000 with the H&A and everything we
were losing, like, 850 a month on the wash, well, that's not a good, that's not a good
investment.
No, it was not.
So, now we're trying to sell it and we bought it for 350, we used to owe 322 and comps
in the area to show we should be able to sell it around 325, which is not great because
after fees and, like, title fees and everything in realtors, our realtors said that we'd
probably end up bringing, like, 30,000 to the table to sell this house, which is a wild.
We looked at, like, a cash offer for it and it's 285, so we'd be 40 under, 40,000 under
that way.
So I haven't listed, again, I'm trying to rent it, but it doesn't have air conditioning
and, you know, why doesn't it have air conditioning?
Good question.
Every other house in this townhouse complex has air conditioning except for ours, so.
Because you're Colorado Springs, I guess, and it's just.
Yes.
Yeah, but it's been hot there the last few summers.
It has.
So I'm not sure how we got away with this or, well, purchased it with it, you know, without
it.
But we were really married and excited at my house, so we did, and we went overboard.
So.
So what's your question?
We've also looked at, I guess, you know, doing like a, going for closure or doing a lean
and move for closure.
No, no, no, no, don't do that.
Yeah.
No, so this is a lot of financial picture, yeah, no, I wouldn't, I mean, I hate to say it,
but it's almost like it in a $30,000 loan and calling it stupid tax, which is a lot.
But, you know, when you make, I mean, my, my hope would be that you could say, that you
could sell it.
Are you guys, I guess you have the two mortgages?
How much is the mortgage?
The mortgage on that one is 2600.
And are y'all able to cash flow that right now with your current income?
Not well, because we also have that second mortgage.
We have, I'm somebody living in our current house, so they're paying a little bit, but
we're also kind of trying to bless them, so we're not charging them what we should be for
this.
Wait, do you have two rent, wait, do you have a renter in the property right now?
No, in our other house that we are currently living in or primary, the one that I bought
in 2020.
You have a renter in that with you guys?
We have, yeah, we have friends that are little with us that are renting.
Okay.
That's a messy, complex situation, brother.
Could you sell your current residence and go back and move into your town home for
a season?
With no air conditioning.
We, I mean, we could, we're paying a little less at the four bedroom, which is wild.
So the townhouse is 1,400 square feet that the other one has like 2,200 square feet,
so it is quite a bit bigger.
I get that.
I get that.
I get to hear me say, at some point, you're going to have to make some sacrifices.
Yeah.
I mean, I, I'd put on the market and I would try, and I would sell it.
And then if you guys have a $30,000 crap mistake, you know, loan up there that you're like
that is just, that was our stupid tax.
That's better than sitting there and paying $2,600 every single month for the foreseeable
future, right?
So, yep.
I mean, I would sell ASAP, ASAP, I would not go down the four cloud, four closure route.
If you've been working the plan, paying off debt saving and changing your family tree,
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And if you're in baby step four or beyond, it's time to celebrate.
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Over on the debt free stage, we have Brandon and Taran from Fresno, California.
Welcome you guys.
Thank you so much.
Absolutely.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And debt free.
How much debt did you guys pay off?
291,000 dollars.
Good.
Oh my gosh.
And what was, what did that consist of?
Our house.
Yes.
Another house payoff.
Oh my gosh.
Okay.
How long does it take you?
About four years and three months.
Four years.
And making what kind of income during that time?
From 100 to 200.
Wow.
What was the jump?
Side jobs got busier.
Sounds like it.
Yeah.
I mean, 100 grand and side jobs.
Not bad.
Yeah.
What do you guys do?
Doggy daycare.
Yeah.
That was one of the side.
Yeah.
So.
Okay.
So yeah, tell us.
What do you guys do for a living and then what were some of the side apples?
I mean, I'm in medical appeals.
Okay.
So she works from home.
I do apartment maintenance.
Yeah.
So if someone has like a dishwasher that needs work or plumbing, electrical, whatever, I
just go there do stuff and then they tell other people and they just keep talking and
tell another people.
That's awesome.
Yes.
The references are real, right?
When people talk about it.
The references are real.
That's like a t-shirt.
Yeah.
I think so.
Absolutely.
When they were like, listen, Brandon's the best.
And everyone's like, well, let me, let me use Brandon to help you do medical appeals
like on behalf of patients.
Yeah.
I don't make the decisions.
I just build cases.
Get off our behalf of humanity.
Can I say thank you for fighting the good fight?
A lot.
You see a lot of stuff.
That's for sure.
I bet.
Okay.
So what happened four years ago that you guys thought we want to pay off almost $300,000
and pay off our house.
Well, it started in 2019 when we were gifted the FPU class.
Yeah.
And so we paid off all of our consumer debt.
It was $47K then.
It was the credit card for the wedding.
It was student loans and that was her car.
So after that, then we had the funds to go towards saving for emergency funds, saving
for a house.
And which we only put nine grand down.
But we knew that the ability that we had was so much greater.
So we just started smacking the house.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah.
That's amazing, you guys.
Okay.
So what was that journey like for four years?
It was so fun.
It was so fun.
It was fun.
It was, honestly, a lot of fun.
We learned a lot about ourselves and we got it as a wedding gift, actually, FPU.
And we kind of, honestly, at first, we kind of rolled our eyes.
We're like, yeah, we already kind of know about money a little bit or whatever.
And so we're like, well, she got it for us.
Let's go to the class and we left and we're like, I don't know crap.
And it just, it changed our lives and we learned a lot about ourselves and each other.
And it, it definitely changed our lives for the best and it made our marriage even stronger.
Was that year one of marriage in 2019 when you guys, okay, so man, you guys, that's amazing.
Sorry, not for marriage, changing the way you view money.
Yeah.
Pay off all the consumer debt.
You do the emergency fund, all of it.
And then you look up and you're like, all right, now it's time to tackle the house and
you didn't four years.
So you guys seem very organized.
Did you map out and see, okay, how long is it going to take us?
And did you do it faster than what you originally thought?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's the nerd.
He had the spreadsheet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
We use every dollar.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's a lot of side hustles.
Well, it's the same for 100 right now.
You've been busy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I only did the after hours work for people.
She also did Rover and then a ton of people word them out as well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The dog sitting is what you were saying, right?
Yeah.
So you're like fighting insurance companies and petting dogs?
Yeah.
Pretty much.
You're like a, you married a saint homie.
That's all I did.
I did.
I did.
Was it, and was it a pretty good side hustle?
We do hear people doing this and I feel like it's like it pays well.
It started off as obviously just paying off dead and we paid off our debt and I'm like,
I'm not going to stop doing this.
It's just like a nature to me at this point.
It's the first year, $600 for Rover.
Yeah.
And it just went up, up, up.
Keep going crazy.
Yeah.
Man, you guys are awesome.
Well done.
Did you guys have people that were cheering you on or on the other end making fun of you and what
you guys are doing with all your work and extra and everything?
Yes.
People like y'all are crazy.
Both.
Kind of both.
I think at the amount of dogs we would have during holidays, they're like y'all are psychos.
It's like, yeah, we kind of are.
But it's worth it.
But our families were super supportive.
We had friends that were super supportive.
Like they'd bring it up in conversations like, okay, so where are you?
And it's like, oh god, I don't even know.
I need to bring up the spreadsheet.
So we had an awesome, awesome support group.
Okay.
Sometimes people do their debt free scream and actually hit the last payment a few months ago.
Have y'all had it where you both got your direct deposits in your accounts and you have no house payment?
Yeah.
Tell everybody what that feels like.
Well, you had the problem of debt before, but your new problem is now you have to think,
what do I do with this money?
I'm like, what's that?
It's like such an insane thing for most people listening to this.
I have all this money.
What do I do with it?
Yeah.
Oh man, what are your next goals?
Have you guys kind of dreamed about the future and been like, here's what we want to do.
Yeah, we're in California now.
And now that we have a paid off house for saving, we actually want to move to Tennessee.
So maybe like Crossfield, Knoxville area.
Come on, dude.
It's a beautiful part of the country.
And with my background, we want to build a big barn dough on some land.
So fun.
At the speed of cash.
That's a fun dream, though.
Yeah.
Good for you guys.
What was this house worth that you paid off right now, like 420?
Awesome.
Yeah.
So great, you guys.
So if there's someone listening and they think there's no way I could pay off my house.
I got a 30-year mortgage.
It'll be in 30 years.
It just is what it is.
What would you tell them the secret to paying off your houses?
If you're married, be a team.
And that will get you through and trust God.
There were so many times that like we're both very just like keep your head down and work and work work.
And then you just kind of look up and we're like, I don't understand where all this money came from.
But God was good the entire time.
And he carried us through and we wouldn't have made it through with Adam.
So be a team and trust God.
Yeah, and be faithful and keep diving.
God has his rules and he doesn't stop.
Don't stop believing in him.
Yes.
Continue it on.
Oh, I love it, you guys.
Okay, are y'all going to chill on the side hustles a little bit?
Do you have a paid off house?
I mean...
We don't know what that means.
For now.
I got a request.
He's going to buy some property in Crossfield.
I mean, we just went to Costa Rica.
We got back two weeks going on a little pan.
Yeah.
And we'll slow it down a little.
She's got a baby going, working on the way.
Congratulations, first one.
Okay.
Oh, you guys.
What a beautiful way.
Dude, you're going to bring this kid into the world.
With no financial stress.
That's amazing.
That's the goal.
I told him I think the biggest gift is that we're bringing your home to a paid off house.
And that's like crazy.
It's emotional, just like you know how to do it.
I'll go one deeper.
You're bringing her to a house where two parents love each other and trust each other
and have accomplished hard things together.
Yeah.
And the greatest gift we can give our kids is to love our spouse well.
Yeah.
And like a byproduct of that is y'all paid off your house.
But dude, this kid won the lottery.
And not because of the money y'all make, but because they've got two hardworking parents
that love each other and know how to do hard stuff.
That's incredible.
It's wild.
That's so cool, man.
It's so beautiful.
Is it different than how you guys grew up?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was growing up for me.
I would say it was there were financial problems.
I didn't know about them as a kid.
But you feel them.
I felt it.
Like you felt the tension.
And they were to say, you know, don't worry about it.
But then like growing up and now kind of helping my parents in those ways.
I'm like, oh man.
So it's crazy.
And that's the beautiful part of the changing your family tree aspect of this, right?
Which I feel like is such a bigger why in all of this money stuff that we talk about.
You know, yes, we want peace in the present and not having all these payments gives you that.
Yeah.
But then there's something even greater of what you continue on in your family.
So you guys, congratulations.
Thank you.
Absolutely.
Absolutely incredible.
Right.
We got branded in Taran from Fresno, California.
They paid off $291,000, which was the house in four years making a hundred to two hundred grand a year.
And mostly side hustles.
So awesome.
And lots of dogs.
Lots of animals.
Lots of dogs.
All right.
You guys count it down.
Let's hear a big debt free scream.
Three, two, one.
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
So great.
That's amazing.
The house pay off stuff.
Like, that is, that's just wild.
Files.
With anytime somebody, a young couple like this in a place like California,
goes through hell for four years to pay out their house.
They're like that kid in math class in middle school when you're like,
nobody can get an A on this and that kid's like,
I'm going to study so hard I'll get an A.
They show everybody that, yes, you can.
Amazing.
Congratulations.
You guys are proud of you branded in Taran from Fresno.
Well done.
Hey guys, what's up?
It's Jade.
And I'm pumped for the new year.
And I hope you are too.
But the problem is, most people start the new year with a lot of promises and no real plan.
You know how it is.
I'm going to save money or I'm going to get my financial act together.
But without a plan, you just wing it and hope it works out.
Listen, don't play yourself.
I want you to win.
And our every dollar app is the game changer you need.
In 15 minutes, every dollar helps you build a plan based on where you're at with money right now.
And every day, the app coaches you with ways to find extra money.
So you can beat debt and build wealth faster.
It's like having me in your pocket, helping you stay on track all year long.
So don't just wish your money works out.
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Our scripture of the day comes from Psalms at 145, 16 and 17.
You open your hands, you satisfy the desire of every living thing.
The Lord is righteous in all his ways and kind in his works.
Frank Zappa said, your mind is like a parachute.
If it isn't open, it doesn't work.
Yes, that's good.
Well done. Open the mind.
Learn.
And jump out of a plane.
And jump out with a parachute.
All right, let's go to Newark, New Jersey.
And we have Elizabeth on the line.
Hi, Elizabeth.
Hi.
Hello, hello. Welcome to the show.
How can we help today?
So I guess I kind of have two questions for you guys.
One question would be, how do I get over anger and resentment towards my husband?
That has just kind of built up and now it's just coming to a head because he's had life changes.
And then the second question is, how do I express to him?
I'm scared he is going to put us in debt without him getting defensive.
Oh, you're asking impossible questions.
That's the marriage there is to take the lead.
Okay, so tell me what, tell me why you're angry.
Well, I have since, since I've got pregnant back in 2016.
My husband and I only knew each other for about six months.
We got pregnant and we both just decided, you know, we're going to do this thing.
I became a stay-at-home mom.
He was just kind of doing his own thing.
He's a handyman, works construction.
He was picking up jobs here and there, but he needed insurance.
And I had a child and put the child on my insurance.
So then once he found like a big boy job, like a corporate job, a good job,
we went on his insurance.
And I completely, like, everything went from me to his responsibility.
So he got his shit together, so to speak.
And now he left that job and is kind of doing his side hustle,
which is technically our side hustle because I have no job still eight years later.
But I feel like he's going backwards because he finally has freedom again, if that makes sense.
And the resentment is just coming from him picking and choosing when he wanted to help me at home for a stay-at-home mom.
For instance, like, the house is, like, I've been burnt out.
So the house isn't up to par. Like, the laundry's not done.
The dishes aren't done. Like, nothing is getting done in the house because I'm tired.
Because that is everything okay. Instead of just helping and, you know, doing it,
he's like, what's going on?
Yeah, I mean, if I'm fully honest with you, y'all have deep issues that I can handle and address on this call.
Okay.
And here's why.
You all have found yourself at a place in your marriage where it is you versus him.
And he is standing there with his hands out either A, choosing to not help you in any way, shape, form, or fashion,
or he doesn't know how to love you in a way that you can feel loved.
Yeah.
And I mean with, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know, but hold on.
But that gap between the two of you, because here's what I would tell you.
If you have been very clear with him, and again, what I'm telling you sucks.
It's the worst because it sounds like I'm giving you another thing to do.
I get that.
But often I hear, I sit with men all over the country who are like, I'm trying to love well and I don't,
everything I do is wrong and I don't know what to do next.
And to their, like, I don't credit them.
This is a fault, but they just stop doing anything.
And what I would challenge you to do is to give him a path.
Here's a way, here's ways you can love me right now.
Okay.
And that sounds ridiculous.
I shouldn't have to tell him.
He should just know you're all those things can be true.
But the reality is where you find yourself right now is he doesn't.
Mm-hmm.
And if you're not doing everything you can on a day and a day on basis to see each other,
to know each other, to celebrate each other, then everything is a battlefield.
Yeah.
And that's where we are.
Okay. So somebody has to, you've heard me say this on the show before.
Somebody has to turn the lights off.
I mean, turn the lights on.
Turn the music off.
This dance y'all are doing.
And somebody has to say, we're married.
We're not in a good place right now.
I still want to be married to you, but we got to rebuild this marriage from the floor up.
Are you in?
And if he says yes, then you have to be willing to say, okay, here's what that would look like right now.
And he has to say, here's what that would look like right now.
And you'll both have to get after it.
Yeah.
And so you got to go, you got to go see a professional at this point in your marriage,
because the resentment is simmering.
It's too hot.
Yeah.
Elizabeth, I hope that helps.
And again, I hate that we can't, you know, unfold and you have a solution right now.
But honestly, sitting down with someone, a third party, and it's going to be a lot of work for you guys,
but it's possible.
All right, let's go to Toby and Chicago.
Hi, Toby. Welcome to the show.
Hello, how are we?
Hi, doing great.
How can we help?
Oh, yes.
I'm getting ready to get a settlement for roughly two and a half million dollars for my employer at work.
Oh, what happened?
What happened?
What happened?
Well, my boss pretty much threatened to rip my butt and fire me.
And then they retaliated against me and kept me from getting a promotional job
by hiring people who weren't, you have to have a certain license to have that job
and to keep hiring people that didn't have that qualification.
So you shoot them in silver court and you won two and a half million dollars?
Well, I went through the EOC and in the EOC, getting the declaration to sue,
and then I hired an attorney.
Wow.
We settled.
Okay.
Where are you at financial right now, Toby?
Do you have consumer debt?
The only only debt I have is my mortgage and that's $108,000.
$108,000.
All right.
Well, I know how to spend $108,000 of the 2.5s that gets you down to 2.4.
Okay.
You have $3.5.
$3.5 million.
$3.5.
Oh, my goodness.
Okay.
Well, when it comes to, yeah, I mean a large chunk of money, whether it's inheritance, a settlement,
anything like that, we always say to remember the three buckets of money.
And this is really important because you can easily do one or two of these,
but all three are really crucial.
And that's to give some, to save some, and to spend some.
And honestly, on the spend side, I would hold off any major purchase.
No major purchase, no cars, no jet skis, no nothing for like six or nine months.
Yeah.
Just for you guys to emotionally take all this in and just kind of know where you're at.
If you can practice not significantly changing your lifestyle, like in a crazy way, you know,
you can go on a great vacation and maybe upgrade the cars and all of it.
But this is, this is almost like lottery type money that people win.
You know, they'll win like a, you know, a power ball here or there or whatever it is.
And they end up going broke, right?
Or you talk to professional athletes and they get a signing bonus.
And then three years later, they're broke because they, they end up spending all of it.
So Toby, the, the biggest thing is going to be to be really disciplined and to have a detailed plan.
And I would sit down with a smart investor pro and map out for you guys.
Hey, what could a future look like for us where we can enjoy some of this?
Absolutely.
But also, where can we put this long term that can change us?
Our kids, our family tree completely, because how old are you guys?
I am 33 years old and my, my girlfriend, she is 28.
All right.
We got a girl in the picture.
Both of us are, both of us are pretty much debt free.
Is she the one?
Yeah, yeah.
She just finished.
We had an agreement that we were going to get married after she finished her college.
And she just finished her master's degree.
Okay.
All right.
So your first $3,000 is buying a ring.
Or if you're Rachel, your first $50,000 is buying a ring.
I'm going to say at least five, John, of the three point.
Something.
Well, and I already have already have a ring bought.
But I was, that was one of the first things I thought would get something a little bit nicer.
I love that.
Yes.
Well, you guys need to sit down.
Sit down and have some great pre-marital counseling, because you guys are walking into wealth.
I mean, in this whole...
And it will, 100% will change your relationship.
Yes.
And you don't know how to handle it all right now, because you haven't done it before.
So remember, discipline practice get a team around you to walk with you, people that you trust deeply.
Well, that's it for the show.
Remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace.
And that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.
The Ramsey Show



