There's Always Hope When Facing Financial Hardship

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Normal as broke and common sense is weird, so we're here to help you transform your life

from the Ramsey Network in the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio.

This is the Ramsey Show, and I'm Rachel Cruz hosting this hour with Dr. John Deloney,

and it's a special show because we're kicking off our money and marriage events and have

many people here in studio that are going to be attending the events, which is so fun.

And so we are here, though, on this show to take your calls, so you can give us a call

at Triple 8, 825-225, the lines are open, so we're here to talk about your life and

your money.

Up first, oh gosh, all the way in Alaska, we got Aaron.

Hi, Aaron.

Hi, how you doing?

We're doing great.

How can we help?

So my question is now that I am engaged to the most amazing woman in the world.

When we do get married, we've agreed that we want to combine our finances into one account

and do that together.

But I've won, I've never combined finances with anybody before, even in my first marriage

in two, is I actually kind of have some control issues that I know I have.

So my question is, what advice would you guys give to people and how we can be successful

in doing that together?

It's a great question, very self-aware, Aaron.

Tell me about your control issues.

For a person with control issues to say that sentence out loud, that tells me you're

pretty special.

What does control issues mean?

I've spent the last couple of years in therapy kind of getting over my own personal things

and stuff like that the last year or two.

I think for me, it's, I get really frustrated when, you know, part of it's kind of like

not getting my way or I think this is the best way to do this.

Why aren't we doing this way?

And then just kind of micromanaging things and stuff like that.

And I know it's been an issue in past relationships.

I mean, so this isn't something that I want to get in the way with me and my fiancee.

Bro, this is what changing a family tree looks like in real life.

I'm super proud of you, dude.

Oh, thanks, man.

Like for real.

To be able to say, I've hurt people in the past.

I've not been the guy that I want to be and I want to do something different and I'm

going to go get the education and now I'm asking for wisdom on like, okay, rubber meets

the road.

How do I do this thing?

That's how the whole country will change if people will start doing what you're doing

right now.

So here we say, I'm proud of you.

It's awesome.

Well done.

Well, you mentioned this is a couple of years.

It's been all about that.

Good.

So good.

You mentioned this is your second marriage.

Is it her second marriage as well?

It is.

It is.

Okay.

Because we do find with second marriages specifically that not that it's harder to take

this step of combining finances, but there's already been so much pain and hurt and untangling

of finances.

If they were combined in the previous marriage that going into the second, sometimes it's

like a bigger hill to climb to be like, okay, we're going to do this.

But the fact that you guys are doing something even differently than your first with money

is so encouraging.

So, so yes, what I would do is like when we say combine accounts that really means mostly

your primary checking and any savings accounts, right?

We're not combining any retirement.

We obviously want to take advantage of each of you having your own retirement.

And when you're looking at combining it, there's a couple of things.

So it's the logistical side of just changing checking accounts, which some people we hear

that excuse, like, oh, I just want to go down the bank and do it.

It's just so much work.

So there's that side.

But then there's also the side of realizing, okay, she is going to spend money on things

that you may not truly understand and vice versa.

And what's beautiful about that, though, is that's where the conversations start to happen.

Even in the conflict, that starts to happen.

So if you can kind of get ahead of that, Aaron, and do a budget together, sit down together

and walk through where you want your income to go as you guys combine income, since I say

this is one.

But you can start having those conversations and engagement.

I wouldn't pull any triggers till after you actually are legally married.

But this is a great point.

And even the wedding planning, you know, is a great kind of springboard into this, like

create a wedding budget.

You guys sit down, you know, even have a checking account for the wedding budget and say,

hey, here's what we're going to spend.

And plan that out together.

It's kind of a little bit of a test run before you guys actually combine everything and

pay bills together.

And I'll give you two practical tips, okay?

You ready?

Yeah.

And I got this from Rachel and from Dave.

Tip number one is, since you're the controlling guy and you know that about yourself, I'm

guessing to use Rachel's language, you're the nerd, right?

You have a way that things need to be done, right?

So you go first and you make the budget and you bring it to your budget meeting.

And then you slide it across the table to your wife and you say nothing other than I want

you to look at this and change a few things.

And then hold your breath and exhale and do all your breathing exercises.

You learned in therapy and all that.

Change as much as you want.

Yeah.

Change what you want.

And then y'all, and then here's the beautiful part about it.

Here's the second tip.

Any time y'all get into a conflict on, when you say, I think we can do groceries for $100

this month and she's like, actually, it's 700 and you're like, oh, I'll just eat right.

You get those kind of nonsensical things.

I want you to use this phrase.

The story I'm choosing to make up is, and for people who struggle with control issues

by framing it that way, you are opening yourself up, you're inviting someone in to challenge

your story.

And yours might be, the story I'm choosing to make up is, you don't think I'm smart.

Or you think I'm dumb.

Or you think that I don't know how to do math or like whatever.

And then she can say, no, that's not the story at all, actually.

And then now y'all are coming together on an issue.

You get what I'm saying?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, you're pairing into my soul right now, man.

Okay.

I may or may not have control issues myself.

So like being able to just put that on, and by the way, this isn't just going to be your

money.

This is going to be about sex.

This is going to be about kids.

This is going to be about where y'all live.

If you can start hard conversations with the phrase, hey, this just happened.

And the story I'm choosing to make up about it is, then you give somebody an opportunity

to connect with you.

I say this and I don't mean it to be cheesy, but conflict and marriage can be a great

thing.

It means something matters.

And when you invite somebody into it, it's amazing.

When you start a conflict with, I'm right or you screwed that up.

What's your fault?

Yeah, it's your fault.

Then what you're doing is you're declaring war and they have to defend themselves, right?

And so just those two things.

And Rachel, I'm over dramatic.

We know that.

I like the idea of both of y'all cancelling your current checking accounts and getting a

new bank, unless y'all just have like a broed out relationship because there's something

about.

Y'all have both had other marriages.

This is like us starting completely over on the same page, in the same place.

And I kind of like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I can.

No.

I'm listening.

I'm right there with you.

Okay.

Yeah.

And combining money, it is one of the more scary, vulnerable things, especially when you

get married later.

It's your second marriage, like I said, because you're so used to doing something the way

you've been doing.

You've worked for you up into this point.

And so changing the way, maybe you, not necessarily see money, but how you're handling it.

And then entering into someone else's story, right, that she has her own set of how she

grew up, her tendency is everything.

And you guys combining that, it's one of the best things you can do, Erin, for your marriage.

It really is.

It is such a central point that so many couples miss out on when they choose not to do

it, because you end up running on just completely two separate paths.

And you never intersect.

You never have a chance to have conflict, because it's like, well, that's just his over

there.

And he's going to just do it.

So you guys are, you honestly are.

You have such courage to step in and do something that's really scary, that most couples

wouldn't.

Most couples don't.

And I think you'll be better for it.

You really will.

The intimacy that's created, the conversations that's created, the, you know, the unity on

your goals and your dreams so much comes out of that funnel of money, because money is

a tool that creates the ability to do everything.

And when you're on the same page with it, it's, it's beautiful.

So we're excited for you guys and you know what, it, hold on the line, Erin, Christian's

going to pick up.

We're going to give you every dollar.

There's a wedding gift for you.

The premium for a year.

A, A, Ron.

Yes.

So you guys can.

This one's going to, this one's going to happen.

Just gather.

I'm excited for you.

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Up next we have Bernadette in Tampa, Florida on the line.

Hi, welcome to the show.

Hi there.

How are you doing today?

We're doing great.

How can we help?

Well, we are blessed beyond all measure.

We have a $800-ish house and we have about $334,000 left on the mortgage.

We're both looking.

We're both united and wanting to pay it off, yet we are differing in where we go for

our refinance.

We have both been at students of day Ramsey and I am very, very tickled with wanting to

do a 15.

But my husband, citing wanting to mitigate risk for the unforeseen future that he might

lose his job, which is to stick with a 30 in the event that we would have than a lower

monthly payment.

Sure.

Justin, what makes him think he's going to lose his job?

Right before Christmas, he lost one boss that was traumatizing and unseen enough and then

after Christmas, another boss was let go.

Oh, wow.

So I, he works with computers and five years ago, computer jobs and especially administrative

computer geek, no problem finding a job.

It's not as comfortable now.

According to him, it could take up to a year to find a job and when he did, it might

not necessarily be for the same price tag, so he's, so I hear him and I respect him and

I understand he has handled our finances swimmingly for the last 15 years of our marriage when

we combined our finances and he, we have a budget.

I'm sitting here looking at my budget.

We have mapped out what a three months emergency fund would be and a six months emergency

fund would be and we have basically two years worth of emergency fund right now.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

I'm putting a big chunk on our refinance and then in between all of this, he's also saying

I want to go enjoy the Florida waterways.

Let's go get some jet skis.

There it is.

Where are you from?

There it is.

Where are you from?

There it is.

Action is just like wonderful.

I, I can tell you maybe off the air.

There we go.

Oh my gosh.

It sounds like I can spiritually and I like it.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Couple of things.

Number one, you guys are in a great spot, FYI.

Like if, if you don't refinance to a 15 year, you guys are going to pay off your house

early and, and you guys are on track, like you are working your way there.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Like you're not restarting something and changing something big.

It's just more how can we effectively do this as fast as possible, so what you're looking

at.

So nothing is on fire for you guys.

It's just FYI.

Like whatever we talk about on this call, you guys are good.

You're moving in the right direction.

So be encouraged in that.

I agree.

And it was beautiful.

We've got to sit down and he showed me he's like, here, honey, here's our current mortgage.

And this is what it would look like if we paid it off and did nothing else.

And then this is what I couldn't accelerate it.

Mortgage would look like.

And then here's the 15 and the 15 year accelerated and the 30 year accelerated.

And he's like, there it is.

It's not that big of a difference.

Right.

Right.

Yes.

Yeah.

Because I mean, after you guys refinance, you know, it gives your interest rate, probably

will go up a little, right?

I mean, if you've had your house this long, if you've paid off half a million dollars of

mortgage, of your mortgage already, you probably got your loan right before 2020.

We've only had it for three years.

Oh, okay.

So you did get it after a day.

So make it down a little bit.

So what are you guys?

What do you guys make a year?

He makes over 300,000.

Okay.

Okay.

And that's not counting the less stock, the other little folks that go with the job.

Okay.

Just based salary.

Is that for him?

And you guys have a two year emergency fund, you said.

So how much, if you brought it down to six months, how much could you throw at the house?

If you have 300 left, how much is sitting in there?

So six months as we calculate right now is about 40, we'll say 43,000.

And the my take is, let's leave about seven to eight months of emergency fund.

Okay.

So how much extra would you have to throw at the house after all that?

You think I'd be intelligent enough to write that down?

Oh, sorry.

How much do you have saved right now?

What's two years for you guys?

So it's about 176,000.

One, I love how specific you are.

Like 176.

So if you kept 75,000 in an emergency fund, which is double your 40, and you put 100

down on this house as part of the refinance.

You're down to 200.

And you can flip what he told you right back at him, which, and again, this isn't a game

or a competition, but you called us and so we're going to side with you since it's not

that big of a difference, then it's not that big of a difference.

Correct.

And what he, I've tried to be, when we had a conversation, I asked, did you try about

it?

And have you asked or thought, counsel?

And I've been talking to my dad, I've been talking to friends, I've written to you guys.

And for him, he's come from a different place in his life, his, his parents had had to,

he said he grew up wondering whether he would lose the house.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I appreciate it.

So for him, he's like, I'm not quitting, I'm not getting rid of my job.

I don't think I'm going to get fired any time soon.

No, but he has, in his nervous system, he has a lived experience of scarcity.

This could all go away.

So in his mind, to have the potential of a lower payment mitigates risk for him.

And that makes him more comfortable.

So is he, is he playing, I get that, is he planning on paying the house off early?

You guys have a plan to pay it off early.

We are the accelerated concepts that he had, he's anticipating about eight and a half

years.

So when he showed the numbers, the 15 year would be about 8.7 and the 30 year would be about

8.4.

And that's not counting any extra windfalls.

We might put towards it.

Okay.

Okay.

So Bernad, any time I'm faced with an either or, we have to do this plan or that plan.

An exercise I go through and that mean my wife go through whenever it's both, when we're

at odds on something, is we force ourselves to put four or five other variables on the

table.

Correct.

You make 300 grand a year.

You're about to potentially owe only 200 grand on your home.

What if you all just sucked it up for 18 months and just paid this thing off?

Yes.

That's my plan.

And then all of the risk is off the table completely.

You don't need a refinance and get a little lower inch.

All of it.

Everything's we've done in 18 months.

And then he can buy the boat.

He wants in 18 months.

And if he loses his job, y'all can be free.

But you're talking about, y'all are sitting on so much money.

And if I, with earned income and with your equity in your home, I'm telling you right

now, if this is in my house, well, I'll tell you right now, this is exactly what my wife

and I have done a couple of times, which is, hey, we're close enough now.

Let's just bite the bullet for 18 months and get this thing out of our lives forever.

And then we take all risk off the table.

So how does that look like for your family?

Does that mean no vacations because he has a high stress job and we have young ones.

And you know, no, no, no, but y'all live in Tampa.

You could go down to a public beach and have a great time.

That would be a year of not going to like some, yeah, you probably wouldn't blow it out

of the water.

And we, and we say, and you probably heard this on the show because you listen, we always

say it to be intense and baby steps one through three and then four through six is just

being intentional, right?

But for you guys, since this is kind of a stress point, something that you're talking about,

it's almost a little bit more of that acceleration just to be done with it because of it, you know?

So yeah, we do tell people not to be, I have a mortgage run for eight more years, especially

with these numbers that you guys can do.

And the potential risk that you'll have in front of you.

Think about what he's doing.

I wish he's on the phone.

He's holding an electric fence and getting electrocuted from it and he's then telling you

in the other hand, I have to come up with ways to not feel so electrocuted.

What's the electrocution?

It's, I want to hang on to this mortgage for eight and a half years and I have to keep

working this job.

It's super stressful.

I can get laid off from from any moment and I'm scared of death of risk, and so let's

hang on to this thing.

And what we're not saying is I do have my license as a nurse.

I could go back to work.

You could and you could get done with this thing in a year, but you don't have to.

Well, I can't do that.

I do have three young ones.

I'm home.

Domestic engineer.

There you go.

But I mean, I like the idea of y'all letting go of the electric fence at all.

He's really concerned about risk and his story rings true with me.

I understand that feeling.

Then let's clear this thing off the deck and so what we give up elaborate vacations for

18 months.

Let's go to the beach every other weekend.

We can do that on Saturdays and Sundays, but let's get this thing out of our lives for

good.

And then we take the 15, 30 year that proxy war off the tape.

Yeah, and it's not a lofty goal.

These numbers totally make 300 grand.

You could do it.

Yeah.

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Let's go to Justin in Chicago.

Hi, Justin.

Welcome to the show.

Hi.

Thank you so much for taking my call.

I've been a long time, long time listener and I just purchased the Ramsey book but it hasn't

arrived to me yet and I've just gotten myself my wife and I injured some trouble here and

just looking for advice and solutions on how to get it taken care of.

Yeah.

So glad you're here, brother.

What's going on?

Well, I, um, there is some customer.

There is consumer debt.

There is 18,000 and personal loan.

We have 9,800 in a vehicle loan.

The other vehicle is paid in full.

We have another loan, a HELOC loan of 44,000 and our mortgage, our, we did everything

right with our mortgage.

We put, you know, an acceptable amount down.

I think we put like 25% down and we still owe, we still owe 272 on our, on our home.

Okay.

What's your income, brother?

How much do you make?

Household.

I make, I make 95 on my wife makes 140.

Oh, sweet.

Good.

Okay.

So I know, I, I know that we can, I, I, I know I'm sorry to interrupt, I, I know that

we can, you know, take care of this in a relatively short amount of, of time, but

I just, I've been listening to you guys for so long, which is value your, your opinion

on things.

Let me say this first, Rachel, walk you through a plan.

I can hear it in your voice, man, like, I'm, I'm, it's, it's been a long time.

Yeah.

Like hear me say this and I'm not saying this lightly, I'm glad that you are here.

Yeah.

I'm proud of you for, for recognizing the challenge in your family or challenges

you all are in and a, you have dug yourself a pretty nice hole and you have a humongous

shovel to dig out of it.

But you can't go anywhere if you're going to carry around all the past mistakes you've

made.

Yeah.

So we've got to set them down and say, cool, here we are.

Don't ever want to be here again and we're going to head forward and get out of this

mess.

I, I am, I'm ready.

I'm ready.

Awesome.

Justin, can I ask, you said you've been listening for a while, what caused, what caused

some of this stuff?

What was the car situation?

What's the $18,000 personal loan?

Has life just happened?

It's just been exhausting and you guys feel like you had no way out?

Well, life, life did happen, but to be perfectly honest, I, I put us in this situation and I have,

I have taken the necessary steps for quite some time now to, um, to correct that.

Are you in recovery?

So, um, well, it's, it's not, uh, it, it's not, um, drugs are alcohol related or anything

like that.

It was gambling.

I was going to say, yeah, it was, which is the, the, the real, the curse on our generation

right now.

For sure.

Yeah.

Am I, am I, am I never used to, I never used to be one.

In fact, the reason why we were in such a good position earlier on in our, uh, in our

marriage was, I mean, obviously, we, you know, we both contributed and things like that.

But I was just a, I was a stickler, um, um, things and I, I think I, I think we just got

to a point where we were, where we were doing so well and let your foot off the gas.

I, uh, and I made, and I made a lot of mistakes and it's, you know, it's been about, it's

been about three, three months now where I haven't, I haven't been doing, you know, anything

and just really, really focusing, um, just refocusing, I should say, um, just taking

care, just taking care of this and then I, I, I guess then my next goal is our next

goal, I should say is I'm just going to go full throttle at our mortgage.

Mm hmm.

It's awesome.

It's great.

What is the, um, you know, it's, it's always interesting because we, we get these calls

a lot when addiction, some level of something is paired with this debt.

It's a pretty common equation and I think what the extra hill to climb when you're paying

this off is like, I think there is like a deeper motivation there, especially when you're

changing your life and changing your behaviors, but there also can easily be such shame attached

to it, right?

It's not like, oh gosh.

We just decided to go on all these crazy vacations and got a $2,000 credit card.

That's right.

Yes.

So what you were saying, John, is letting that part go because just in getting rid of this

stuff, we can make a plant like that is easy.

But it really, it's going to be a more fulfilling journey when you do that keyboard to, was

you may have already done, but listen to me, like I need you to internalize this.

Okay.

You hear me?

Mm hmm.

Yes.

If you start this debt paying off journey and you saddle up next to your wife and you

all agree, you'll, you'll make a blood oath and you'll pay this debt off.

If you wake up every day and keep your budget and check your every dollar app, we're going

to hook you up with that for free.

If you do all that stuff because you think you're a piece of crap and this is what you

deserve, I promise you 100% you're going to crash and burn.

If you wake up every day and say, I'm doing this because I'm worth not being chained to

banks and to mortgages, I'm doing this because I want to be a guy that my wife can anchor

into.

My kids can anchor into because they deserve that.

Like they're worth that.

You'll do this forever.

And that's why shame will bear you if you're not careful.

Okay.

Okay.

Because that's really what I've done.

I know it is.

I can hear it on you.

You cannot go through, get out, you go through the baby steps because you think you suck

and you're an idiot and you're a loser and this is your punishment.

This is the path to freedom.

It's not, it's not a, it's not flogging you for what you did in the past.

Okay.

Can I ask you guys a quick question about it?

It's not, I mean, I, I guess it's kind of one of those things where I just, I, how,

how did I get us here?

Yeah.

That's not, I know that and it's not a helpful question right now.

That's a question between you and your therapist.

We're going to start doing the next right thing before we know why.

Okay.

Okay.

Because that's a, that's a, it's a cultural trap.

Okay.

Like you're trying to figure out and get to the root of why I'm going to stop yelling at

my wife before I stop yelling, that's, that's, that's the wrong order.

But you do need, you've got to do the work.

Yeah.

You got to talk to somebody.

You need to be in a recovery group.

You need to do that stuff.

Of course.

But we're going to start, we're going to stop gambling today.

We're going to stop borrowing money today.

Before we get to the root of, you know, what happened when all that stuff is well and

good.

I wrote a book about it.

It's important, but it's not the right order right now.

We're going to stop the harming behavior and Rachel's going to walk you through a plan

right here.

It's pretty simple, especially for guys that make as much money as y'all do.

Yeah.

So we, can I just say one real quick thing?

I, I guess I got a little off track and we do have, we do have a, I, I guess I would

consider a large, a large sum of, of money, but I guess I would consider that my wife's

because her mom did pass away about four years ago.

And it's in a Roth IRA and there's, yeah, I'm going to touch that just and yes.

So keep that all, anything retirement 401k Roths do not touch.

Not because it's hers, but because it's in a retirement account.

That's right.

Because of the texture.

Yes.

Yes.

Keep that there.

And then if you guys have any stocks, any savings anywhere else, throw it at this debt.

But honestly, you guys can have this paid off.

I mean, with your income in, in 18 months, you could do this very, very quickly, Justin.

So you guys pay off the smallest debt first to the largest and include the HELOC.

And then later you can start investing and then we can look at paying off the house.

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Ramsey show a question of the day.

Oh, excuse me.

Rachel's going through puberty.

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Oh, man.

I just pre-read this question and I felt a rant coming on.

So you have to go first, Rachel.

I can't wait.

Read it.

Today's question comes from Marco in Arkansas.

Marco, this is for you, bro.

Why do you encourage people to have children and baby step two while they're paying off

debt?

I understand that babies can be unexpected, but why do you encourage listeners to have

a child when it will add a large line item to the budget that could go towards paying

off debt?

If you didn't have that child, the money, bro.

The money saved could go towards debt.

Wouldn't that be a better plan?

Okay.

Here's what I would say.

It would be if the only thing you cared about in life was money.

Money is like a thing to help your life.

So create a life that you love and let money support that.

So yes, get married during baby step two.

Have babies doing baby step two.

Money is not your life.

This is not your life.

Sometimes it has to be for a season to get yourself in a better financial position,

and you may be kind of obsessed for a year or two to get out of debt, like absolutely.

But that doesn't pause the bigger things in life, which are your health, your spiritual

life, your family, like those things trump money.

You have to understand that.

Now again, I will say with the caveat always, there were sacrifices you make, but we're

not sacrificing those things.

Those are, that creates a full life.

So no, have babies.

Have babies in baby step two.

Have two babies in baby step two.

Have five.

Have five babies, Marco.

I want your Marco has babies.

I will say out of all the Ramsey personalities, not to throw them into the bus, he's not

here.

Maybe he can come in and do a segment.

George is someone that's like, hey, if you are stressed to the max, and you keep on

having a baby, you're going to continue to be stressed.

Like he has.

I know, but George also opens his garage with a cell phone, like he's like a special case

of anxious.

Extreme case, extreme, extreme, extreme, extreme, you may, I don't know, think twice

about it.

I think that's what George would may say.

But overall, my philosophy is the big things in life are always going to trump money.

And so have a life that you want.

Well, go, John.

Now here's your way to go.

No, that's just, I, I, what's, you have to rant.

I barely rancid.

No, I'm good.

I, because I'll be ugly.

I, no, you won't.

Go.

You're never, let me say this as somebody who.

We struggled to have kids for years, we've lost a lot of pregnancies.

And I've got two kids that, if you had told, like again, like look at, on paper, you have

a child, it messes up your money, it changes your relationship, it changes your sex life,

it changes everything.

Yeah.

Not just that.

So the algorithm on paper doesn't work.

And if I could snap my fingers and have one thing different in my life, I would have

more kids running around my house because of the depth and the purpose and the, like

you don't know who you are, I believe, until you feel the weight on the squat rack.

And that can be, some people can't have kids, I've been there.

And so that can be in your purpose, that can be in the things that you're doing, that

can be in the responsibilities that you put yourself underneath that you get to carry.

That's where you fight purpose.

And so I can't think of anything greater, any greater calling, if you're able to,

then go have kids.

And so to pause it, because I'm a part of this plan, man, you'll pay off debt as you

go.

That's right.

Because I mean, following your same line of logic, Marco, and again, by the way, I want

to be sensitive to those who can't.

I've been there.

I know that to those who've lost, I've been there.

I get it.

And I can't also not say that it's not super stressful, doesn't cause fights in your

marriage.

It's hard.

Yeah.

And anything in the world worth doing is hard, right?

But following your same thing, Marco, like, let's not have a car then, because that's an

extra expense.

Let's just walk.

And let's not have a home.

Let's live in a tent.

We can do that cheaper.

Like you can follow this line of thinking all the way out.

Yes, that's so.

So we want you to follow a plan that you can actually do.

We want you to make sacrifices where you need to.

And the sacrifices we're talking about are going out to eat for God's sakes and vacations

for crying out loud and working extra.

All that stuff's important, especially for a season, but man, the big stuff, like build

a marriage with somebody way out of getting out of debt, that's amazing.

Navigate having a kid and having also make sacrifices, yes, learn how to say no and learn

how to say not yet, all those things make you give you the life that you really want

down the road.

So.

And I would say too, along those same lines, I think it's so common for people to say,

we'll have kids win and it could be a financial goal.

That was a whole thing and it's like, there will always be something to be chasing, right?

So just do it.

That's where I've changed in life.

I'm a little bit like, have kids, have them soon, I haven't soon, yeah, Marco, you're

fun.

Thanks for the question.

Thanks for the question.

Hey, you're not guessing.

I'm guessing Marko.

Could you back up me and his wife?

Here's what I think.

I think Marko's wife wants to have kids.

I know.

And he's trying to come up with reasons to not.

I want to hook her.

I want to hook her.

Have six, Marco.

Have six.

Okay.

Let's go to Mariah in San Diego.

Hi, Mariah.

What comes at the show?

Hi.

Thanks for having me.

I'm so nervous to talk to you guys.

Oh, don't be nervous.

I'm sitting by Rachel.

We're glad we're coming.

How do you think I feel?

We're glad you called.

We're glad you called.

I'm just a neglecting for pain by calling.

She knows you're going to yell at me.

No.

We call when Dave's not here.

We will not yell.

I know.

And I believe.

So we have been half listeners for the last eight years

of our marriage.

And we pretty much impulsively bought a house because we wanted

to have a house before our first baby.

And so we've been in this house for four years now.

Okay.

And it is 50% of our income.

Okay.

And it is exhausting.

It's like sucking the life out of us.

However, my husband runs his business out of our three car garage.

So we don't we don't really know what to do.

Because we have renters.

And that's how we stay alive.

And so you have renters in your own house.

Correct.

Well, two are family and then one somebody that we found.

And we did background checks and everything.

He's phenomenal.

So we love our renters and we love the environment in our home.

It's just if one of them were to back out or all three of them,

you know, we would not survive.

Yes.

Is it 50% with just what you guys are paying plus what the renters

are paying or that includes the renters?

50% includes the renters.

We get 2400 a month from renters.

Okay.

And we make 6400 on our portion.

So we get about almost 10,000 a month on average.

It's about 9500 a month.

Okay.

And all of our house mortgage and bills come out to about 53 a month.

How much is just the mortgage, not the bills, but just the mortgage?

43.

43.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, you're definitely in a high risk situation and you're having to,

yeah, depend on these people exactly how you're feeling.

Yeah.

I think I, unless he's going to be getting a significant raise anytime soon,

is the business, he's running his own business, is there an upward trajectory?

Like are you guys looking out and say, okay, yeah, in two years,

it's going to double.

Like have you, have you done projections like how it's been a pattern so far?

Yeah.

So he just started in May of last year.

Okay.

So he's not even a year in and he did 125,000 before taxes last year.

And we took home about 86 of it.

And so he's been doing really well and he took off.

And because he's experienced with his previous job, he's got really free,

great clients and he's getting a lot of really great work.

So he sees a lot of growth and I see a lot of growth in the company.

How fast will that grow?

Potentially in the next year.

We're even thinking that he could double it.

Okay.

So we see a lot of growth, but that's the biggest thing is we need the three

car garage because renting a space out here for that price is at least four to

six thousand.

Yeah.

For the space that he needs with the tools and everything that he would need to

move.

Right.

Right.

But my fear is you've already left the house.

What do you mean by that?

Like my fear is you're already out.

And y'all can come up with a bunch of reasons to stay, but I feel you're already out.

Yeah.

The stress is weighing on you, Mariah.

So what I would do is I would have benchmarks for you guys because if you doubled

it, then it goes from 50% to about 35% if my numbers are right.

And then if you doubled the business again, right, if it really is that successful, you

guys will be fine in 24 months.

But the question is you have to have benchmarks and if you can sustain that for 24 months

and hold your breath and say, let's see if this works, I, you could.

But if though, if it does not double in a year, you guys have to have a hard and fast

rule to say we were selling, we're getting out of this if it does not happen.

Dave, we got a lot of calls on this show where life happens.

One day someone's healthy, they're working, providing for their family, and then a curve

ball hits.

You know, we heard all the time, a car accident, a cancer diagnosis, a heart attack, and

suddenly everything changes.

Yeah.

And that's why you've always said that having term life insurance from Xander is essential

because it protects your family if the worst happens.

Yeah.

That's right.

You need 10 to 12 times your income, in coverage, no gimmicks, no whole life junk, just

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But there's another piece that people often overlook and that's long term disability

insurance.

Yeah, it's important to understand the difference between them.

Life insurance steps in when you die.

Disability insurance steps in while you're alive, but can't work.

So it replaces a large part of your income so the bills still get paid while you get

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Now, if your employer gives you free disability insurance, great, take it.

If it's discounted there at a better price, take it.

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Protect yourself, protect your income, protect your family.

Welcome back to the Ramsey show in the Fair Winds Credit Union studio.

I'm Rachel Cruz, hosting this hour with Dr. John Deloney.

And the phone lines are open.

You can give us a call at AAA8-825-225.

And we're going to go to Little Rock Arkansas and talk to Skylar.

Hi Skylar.

Hey, how are you doing today?

Hi, we're doing great.

How can we help?

Well, I make annual income of 31,700 year and I'm kind of in the bond with a car payment

and a TV payment situation too.

The car is worth like $28,000 when I got done financing and the payment's like $520

out of a month.

Holy smokes.

Yeah.

And then you would bond an ATV for $10,000 and that's $252 a month.

So.

I don't want to kick me while you're down, but that's a very Arkansas thing to do, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a Texas thing to do too.

So there we go.

There's a pot talking to the kettle here.

Wow.

Yeah.

It's terrible.

So I'm thinking I'm just going to have to get rid of this car.

Correct.

And yes, I got a cash car.

It's in over here.

It's a Honda Civic 2009.

So I'm fixing it.

I'm fixing it up.

So I'm very excited.

Good for you.

How much money will you have to put into that?

Not very much.

I got any water pump installed and all that needs now is a oil.

Well, that's great.

The ET oil gasket may be good to go.

So why are you calling us?

You already know what to do.

28,000.

Is that what you owe on the car?

How much could you sell it for?

I'm on it.

Oh, no.

Go ahead.

Say it again.

Say it again.

The negative equity is $10,000.

So I'd be negative $10,000 upside on the car.

OK.

So you can sell it for 18.

Is what you're saying?

Yeah.

OK.

So you just have to take a small loan out if you can for 10 grand.

And how about the end?

Is there any way I can go through Fairwinds or is it any

possible way?

I could do it that way.

You have to call them and they'll sit down and check out your history.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, a credit union or a local credit union would be a great option.

They're usually more willing to work with people and looking at their specific situation.

How about the ATV?

What could you sell it for?

Oh, I'm not really sure.

I haven't looked in the value on the ATV yet.

OK.

It might be, maybe the value is like $7,000, possibly, it's new.

Yeah.

Well, I would encourage you on that one to probably just try to save up the three grand

if you can for the difference and be done with it.

And thank God you have this other car.

I mean, honestly, that's a life saver in this situation.

I used to be debt free.

Yeah.

I used to be debt free a long time ago.

I was managing money really good and I just had a messed up.

Yeah.

We've all been there, dude.

It happens.

How old are you, Skyler?

I am 27.

OK.

Good for you.

What do you do for living?

I work at Indiexscreens on my delivery driver working three days a week.

I deliver teeth to the North War console region.

What do you deliver?

Teeth.

I deliver dentures on the delivery driver for green.

This is becoming my favorite call of all time.

This is?

Ever.

Yeah.

I deliver teeth.

Amazing.

To North Arkansas.

Amazing.

Amazing.

Amazing.

What are you doing?

What are you doing the other two days a week?

The other four days a week.

Well, I spark all the time and I just work.

You spark all the time.

Is that like a weed reference?

No, it is a, it's a grocery delivery platform through Walmart.

You know?

Got you.

Got you.

Got you.

OK.

How much is your, how much is your teeth delivery job?

How much does that pay?

15, 20 an hour.

OK.

Do you get more doing that or the spark grocery delivery?

Grocery delivery, I could pick up a lot.

Maybe around like four weeks, like $800.

So that's a little extra money in my pocket.

It's just, if I can get these car payments situated,

I'll be so much better off.

Yeah, but you're still very, very economically vulnerable, brother.

Yeah.

I want to get you up to 50 or something, right?

Yeah, you can't afford, you can't afford a flat tire.

No.

So barely afford tires on this car.

And I had to put it on a credit card with this.

No, you did it.

You chose to.

But here's the deal.

Here's the deal.

Why don't you pursue more stable work?

Well, I could possibly find a different position.

It's just $1,000,000,000 billion percent

find a different position.

It's just, I love three days a week, though.

But sometimes we have to sacrifice order

to achieve what we want to achieve.

I think we do, Skylar.

Bro, I think we do.

Bro, 40 hours a week.

Working, dude.

Yeah, we got to, we got to, we got to up the, we got to update.

You have to get in the game of life, my brother.

Because Skylar, not that money brings happiness.

We're not saying that, but there is something

about having stability.

Meaningful work does bring happiness.

OK, fair.

Thank you, Ken Coleman.

Yes, thank you.

It does.

If you never call me a penny, you work stable.

If I could be more stable and have no payments,

I mean, that's just a way to go.

Well, exactly.

But I want, I'm going to say you can call this book.

And an emergency fund and a retirement account.

Like, there's some, yeah, there's, um,

Are you dating?

I do have the every dollar app.

Oh, good.

Yeah, but you don't have any money to, to budget with.

Yes, he does.

He's got like three grand a month.

And in 80% of it goes to car pay.

But we're getting rid of it, right?

He's got three budget categories, food, not dying, ATV.

OK, OK, brother, um, I'm going to send you Ken Coleman's book,

Find the WorkerWire to do.

And it has a career assessment in there.

Yeah.

I want you to get serious, I want you to do this exercise tonight.

I'm being totally serious.

And I appreciate you having fun with us on this call.

Listen, I want you to write a letter to 37-year-old you

tonight.

OK.

And I want you to write him a letter about the life he's

going to have because you chose to get off your butt

and stop coasting literally through life.

Yeah.

And the work you put in today, and you're entering into your late

20s and into your early 30s, will be the platform from strength,

from integrity, from work ethic, from skills and contribution

to the world.

Yes, purpose.

People that you meet and shake hands with,

and they learn to trust you, those things

will be the anchor points of your life at 37.

And so I want you to write yourself a letter and say,

here's who I chose that we were going to become.

You're welcome.

And how I discovered a Ramsey show is,

I know this guy that lives in Heaver.

He told me about the Ramsey show.

And I got involved.

And I started listening to the podcast.

I was like, wow, this is the same situation I'm in.

Well, game on in.

A mirrored situation.

Yes.

I listen to the off-podcast every day going down

the road delivering dentures and work.

Not every day, only three days a week.

Well, if I can find all the ones I'll review, though,

one of them.

Oh, Skylar, you know what, you're great.

I would, I'm with John.

You're awesome.

Yeah, finding some purpose, you know what I mean?

Like finding.

I mean, delivery dentures is such a great gift.

Yeah, yeah, I'm not saying that.

But it's the coasting, sleepwalking vibe that we're getting.

That it's like, hey, just let's add a little bit more.

A whole bunch more.

A whole bunch more of excitement and spark.

Ask yourself that scary, terrifying question.

You only get one roll of the dice in this life.

One life.

Are you just going to cash it out, barely getting by,

driving three days a week?

Or are you going to say, hey, I was put on this planet

to contribute.

And here's what that's going to look like.

And part of contribution means I'm going to have peace.

I'm going to be anchored.

I'm going to have some security so that I can offer

that for other people.

And man, that means not working just kind of coasting

three days a week.

That means getting after it.

Yeah, hold on the line, Skylar.

Christian will pick up.

We'll get you Ken's book.

But you have some great foundational things

that you're doing already with habits with money.

We're going to have to make just some big changes

to really leapfrog and jump forward in some progress,

which I believe you could do.

After the holidays, a lot of people

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Next, we have Susan in Indianapolis.

Hi, Susan. Welcome to the show.

Hi, thanks so much for having me.

What an honor it is to speak with both of you.

Oh, thanks for calling in.

How can we help?

OK, my question in the most condensed form

is how should I handle finances as I go through a divorce?

Oh, man.

What's going on?

Told myself I wouldn't cry.

Oh, it's OK.

No, you're good.

I'm glad you're here.

My husband of 21 years decided to walk away.

And I was completely blindsided by it,

which has left me living in fear and uncertain of my future.

So I'm trying to solve for peace and security.

And Dr. John earlier in today's call,

you had talked about having options.

And I have some options.

And I was just wondering if you can help me

with the best debt forward.

Yeah, go for it.

Put some on the table for us.

Well, so we currently live in my husband's family farm.

We purchased the home a few years ago and remodeled.

And I thought this would be my forever home.

I do not want to leave.

However, he does not want the home.

But he does not want me living there,

because I will no longer be a part of that family.

So before we get going, I want to give you

a couple of frameworks, OK?

Sure.

Whenever somebody files for divorce,

whenever somebody says I'm leaving,

what happens next, you go from married

to we go to a business transaction.

Right.

And so I want you to have this.

I want you to tattoo this on your, like, not for real.

But I want you to tattoo this on your spirit, OK?

OK.

He no longer gets a vote.

Y'all are making a business transaction.

When he chose to leave you, he took his name

all out of the box that sits in the middle of your table

of people who get to speak into your life.

And for a time being, he's going to be replaced with a lawyer.

You get what I'm saying?

Yeah.

And this is how you begin, because what you're feeling,

what you're talking about, I've heard this,

I mean, thousands of times, what you're that sense of loss

and bewilderment, there is literally a death

and it was your marriage.

And you have to grieve it as such, but that takes time.

But that other thing you're feeling

is a sense that you don't even trust yourself.

Right.

Right.

How did I miss this?

I should have seen this coming.

What should I have done differently?

All those questions.

And there's never going to be great answers to those questions.

But it's natural that you ask them.

But the way you begin to regain trust in yourself

that the ground becomes firm underneath you

is you begin drawing very clear, concrete boundaries

about not what he wants, but what you are going to do next.

OK.

And that's why we hire a good attorney.

They're worth their weight in gold.

Because it's literally hiring somebody

to fight for you when you can't fight for yourself.

OK.

OK.

And so if you want to keep this house,

then you have to go to the next layer,

which gets a lot of folks in your situation and trouble,

which is I'm emotionally attached to this house.

This was my forever home.

I don't want to leave.

But I can't, I have a math problem.

I can't afford to live here.

And that's what you have to be brutally honest with yourself

about.

And then he gets to buy out, write you a humongous check

for your part of the equity.

Currently, he is paying for the mortgage

and all living expenses while I stay there.

And his proposal is that I can stay for up to maybe three

years before I can.

Let me say is, he doesn't get a proposal.

I mean, he can tell his attorney what he proposes.

And we are, yes, we're in negotiations right now.

But so I'm just trying to figure out what is best for me

in this negotiation.

In no world, am I going to let the guy who just walked out

on a 20-year marriage be my landlord.

Yeah, no way.

How much is the house worth, Susan?

Probably about 350,000.

OK, and how much do you guys all want to lend?

240?

OK, and question.

With the family, with this being family land, number one,

I'm just curious, do you enjoy his family?

You want to create a life still in that?

I would, I would go, but I would go to a state sale

and get a whole bunch of toilets and just

line the property line with all toilets.

That's what I would do.

We bought three acres in the middle of 80.

And so they own all of the land around where we are.

OK, because sometimes when there's a family land deal,

there's something written within, like,

I mean, is there anything that, like, legally,

you could take this on, correct, like you guys?

No, there's nothing in writing that we said we would never

sell it outside of the family.

There's nothing in writing.

That's what worries me a little bit, Susan,

is that my only fear, even if the numbers work,

and I could be wrong, that you stay on this property

with his family surrounding you, you

want to start a new life.

And then you're like, hey, I'm just making this up.

Me and this other guy in five years

want to move close over here.

And now you're stuck and you can't sell that house,

because I wouldn't want to do that.

I would rather my son, who is, I know he's only 17,

but he's only 17 when he's older.

Yeah, I mean, I don't want to put him in that either.

Let me see, I'm going to say one more thing,

and it's caustic what I'm going to say, OK?

OK.

And it says like a hard truth.

And if you and I were hanging out,

I would wait for about an hour to say this thing.

But we only have a few minutes, OK?

Hit me.

The life you had is over.

God.

The dreams, the wants, the things that I want to be in the future

are now over.

They're different now.

I'm sure you say that all the time.

So thank you for it.

I know it hits hard, I know.

And I don't say it lightly.

I'm not trying to be braggadocious.

No, it's OK.

But trying to think of the way things should have been,

where you'll have this amazing place

on this amazing property, and you deed it over to your son

who's then 28, and he's got a young family.

All of that, your husband ended it.

He set it on fire.

And so that dream, that picture you had

of coming back to your old house, that he now lives,

that your son now lives in with his young family

for Thanksgiving, you have to put that picture

that you've painted in the grieve pile.

You hear what I'm saying?

I do.

And I hate that.

And we want to do what's best for Susan.

Susan, and the next three years, and Susan,

and the next 10 years, and 15 years, you know?

So it is a looking so far ahead, which

is probably so hard to do right now in the middle of the pain.

But I just don't want you to make a bad financial decision

that traps you in something that Susan, 10 years from now,

can't freely live out.

Got it.

So then I do have some other options,

but I don't know if these are good options either.

Okay, let's do it.

Yeah, tell us what those are.

In, you know, in the divorce, I get half of the 401K.

And my financial advisor has told me that I could take that

without penalty and put that towards the down payment on a house.

Do you have anything else in retirement?

I do.

I will get about 31,000 in a Roth IRA.

And then I have about 10,000 in mutual funds.

How much is going to come over in the 401K?

All of it.

I mean, how much is that?

What dollar amount is that?

I'm sorry.

What dollar amount is half of the 401K?

What would that be?

No.

Oh, 106,000.

And then, and then equity, you'll get probably 50,000.

50 grand.

Yeah.

And how much do you make a year?

How much are you working?

I am 45.

Now make 45,000.

Okay.

So I would not pull out a 401K.

I would, you know, so then honestly,

I would probably just go rent something for a year and settle some of this.

And then you can really take your time looking because if you have the ability to put down

a great down payment and find, you know, a little home and your payment is no more than 25%

of your take home money.

And it's all in the parameters of buying a home wisely.

I would be great if you did that, but you don't have to do that next week.

No, don't do that.

Yes.

I mean, don't do it for six to nine months.

I would put a lot of this stuff and I would just hold it and wait a year and grieve.

And then let's look at options.

But I probably would get out of this house if I was you.

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Well, over on the debt-free stage, we have Kyle and Sarah from Akrono, Hi, oh, hey,

you guys.

Hey.

Hi.

Welcome to the show.

Thanks for having us.

Well, what an exciting day.

So how much debt have you guys paid off?

I paid off 150K.

Oh, my gosh.

What did that consist of?

That was our house.

Oh, paid off the house, baby steps.

You'll look like you're 17.

How old are you?

I'm 33.

The 37.

Oh, my.

You have a paid off house at 33?

No, we do.

Well done.

How long does that take you?

47 months.

Just shy of four years.

47 months.

Oh, my gosh.

Okay.

And how much for you guys making during that time?

Started right around 120, up to two, about 145.

Okay.

So what happened?

What was it four years ago that you thought we're going to pay off our house?

We're going to be certain.

We're going to be in our early 30s, mid 30s, and have a paid off house.

How did that happen?

Yeah.

So we ended up buying our house in September 2021.

And almost immediately, I kind of looked at Sarah and we were like, hey, what would happen

if we were able to go ahead and knock this out in less than five years?

And yeah, we just started tackling, just attacking it every single month.

And we really looked at it and we said, hey, how do we have more options in our life?

Have more peace, really just wanted to go ahead and just provide more wiggle room, I would

say.

My gosh.

How much is the house worth?

House is worth around 330.

Okay.

Amazing, you guys.

That's incredible.

How does it feel?

It feels absolutely amazing.

I mean, just wild.

Oh, okay.

So what was the journey like?

How?

What did you guys do?

What were things that you said?

No two.

What were things that maybe you added on?

I mean, you were pretty intense, like you guys really, really were focused on this.

Yeah, we were attacking it pretty heavily, but I would say that one of the first things

that we did was just come in more prepared.

So when we actually came into the house buying process, we were like, okay, how much can

we put down?

We ended up putting down 115 K. And again, your principles here at Ramsey helped us do

that just to be able to get that within that 25% mortgage payment that we were looking

to try to have.

So, but if you if you walked in, I want to double click on that amount of that discipline

that y'all had as a couple.

If you walk in with 115 grand, you qualified for a house twice as much as 350 grand.

Yeah.

On your income, they would have given you the world and y'all said, no, we think we can

find joy and have a great life in this house that we can own out right in five years.

Yeah.

And I was during the times when the interest rates were super low too, so that was kind

of advice that we were going back and forth.

Oh, yeah, also was really stupid that y'all paid that off, right?

Yeah.

So, dummies, dummies, right?

Nobody pays it off with the low interest rate.

Yeah.

Oh, my gosh.

Okay.

So for you guys as a married couple, what does that look like?

You know, we're talking about the money and marriage event this weekend.

How did you work together as a team?

Who's like more of the free spirit who's more I'm assuming you're probably more of the

nerd Kyle.

Is that true?

I'm more of the nerd.

I felt it.

I felt the energy.

I have my every dollar budget.

We have our spreadsheet that we were looking at on a regular basis and that gave me a lot

of, I would say momentum and gave us momentum just to be able to see, you know, if you change

that number on that spreadsheet, how quickly could we get it going from, we had a 15-year

mortgage and start playing with those numbers and you're able to see, okay, we could get

out in 10 years.

What could happen if we up it another $500 and other thousand, hey, we could get done

in five years.

And the interest you don't pay when you do that, that was the big piece for me.

I was going to say, that's what's motivating, same with me girl, that's the motivation

of my class.

20 years of interest, you all get to keep and spend on whatever you want.

I was actually looking at, I was actually looking at your values here at Ramsey just the

other day and I talked about relentless focus over time, multiplied by God equals unstoppable

momentum and I really do think that's been our story is just looking and saying, God,

we're praying for abundance here and just seeing, you know, those extra paychecks come

in or those little bonuses come in and be able to say, hey, we're throwing an extra

two grand, three grand at this and really just having that belief that it's possible at

the end of the day.

So I think that's been our biggest move.

All right, so Sarah, I'm getting some along for the ride energy from you.

How did you hang on for four and a half years?

Not a Kyle.

No vacations, no new cars.

I would say we were not necessarily gazelle in 10.

Which you should be.

That's good.

Good.

Good Kyle.

He backed off.

Yeah, I would have been.

Yeah, he would have been.

But he needs you.

He needs you.

We were a good balance.

So we built in incentives along the way.

We were able to do some renovations to the house.

We had our daughter that took some fertility treatment, monies.

So there were definitely some celebrations along the way, especially when we hit those

big milestones.

Do you have a technique or a trick or a hack or whatever you want to call it, that

you all used when Kyle, you got that extra check and you were like, we can get the principal

down to this.

And you were like, yeah, but I want a human in the house.

I want a child.

How did y'all come to some sort of consensus?

We definitely used the principles of just putting some in different places, a large majority

towards the house, of course.

But then we have like sinking funds that are set up for the things that are really important

to our family.

So we know in order which ones we want to fund first, which is any extra.

That's great.

I do have to say, though, that there was definitely those moments where we had a big chunk

of money ready to go towards the house.

And life happens and all of a sudden you're like, hey, we got an extra three grand to put

towards the house.

But then the car breaks down and it just so happens to cost exactly three grand, of course.

But I guess when we've looked at that, it's always been God providing through that to

say, hey, you know what, you thought this money was going this way, but it needs to go

this way.

That's a good perspective because I always feel like when those things happen, like somehow

the cosmos stole from me, right?

Like it was supposed to be this number.

Now it's not.

And I feel like I got ripped off somehow or whatever, instead of looking at it like you

did on the other side, think God, it's still hurt.

It's still hurt.

It's still hurt.

Yeah.

It's amazing.

Do you guys, did you have people in your life that you were telling or did you guys keep

it kind of on the down low that you were like, we're going to just kind of do this

between us.

Or did you have people cheering you on?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I would say that we were definitely cheering each other on because we just kept having that

vision of what would life be like when this payment was gone and what could we do with

that money?

But again, just letting our parents and our families know, hey, this is what we're doing.

We're chasing it down.

Did I think you were crazy?

Were they encouraging?

Encouraging.

Yeah.

Yeah.

My dad was definitely cheering me on and every so often would call and be like, hey,

what's the mortgage down to?

Oh, great dad.

That's awesome.

What a great dad.

Yeah.

Yeah, it was just really powerful just to have people in our corner cheering us on.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Incredible.

You guys, well, you did kind of the impossible.

I mean, today to say that you can pay off your house is most people, most people would say,

no, that's not possible.

It's not possible by house.

It's not possible doing any of this.

And you're living proof that you can and in your 30s, 33 and 37, how long have you

had some married?

Coming up on six years here in April.

Okay.

Okay.

And you all've done this hard thing together.

You all've got been through fertility treatments.

You've paid off the house together.

You can look ahead of you and come what may.

You'll know we've been through worse.

We can handle this.

Yeah.

That's really good.

That's so awesome.

Amazing, you guys.

Oh, we all are incredible.

Okay.

Is the baby here?

She's here.

She's out of here.

Okay.

Are you going to bring her up for that free screen?

Are you going to hold off?

We're going to hold off.

We're just starting nervous if we raise our voices.

You know, that's fair.

We've had many tears.

Not happy kids.

I'm definitely saying that.

You know what?

That's probably right.

Really happy parents and terrified young kids.

Terrified kids.

Okay.

Well, real quick.

One piece of advice you tell someone who's maybe working out a baby step two and they're

saying, okay, the house is next.

What would you tell them?

I'll go ahead and go first and I'll let Sarah share.

But I really do think it comes down to belief.

When I paid off my student loans, 45K in a year, paid off my car in a year.

Those are the track records that I had that I knew it was possible.

Yeah.

I just always come back to the quote, Henry Ford, whether or not you think you can or

you can't.

You're right.

Yes.

And we just knew that we could.

I love it.

The belief part is so key.

It's so big.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I just think having a unified mission.

Definitely, that's our big thing and marriage is being unified.

But with this too, it might have been Kyle's big dream to come here and do all of this.

But then I latched on to that too because we need to be unified in all of our visions.

And then just consistency and being able to track what we're doing and staying on top

of it that way.

We have weekly kind of marriage meetings and finance meetings and so it's good to stand

track.

We're going to teach the money marriage to treat this week.

I know.

We're coming.

We're excited.

We're coming.

We'll see you guys there.

All right, you guys.

Well, we have Kyle and Sarah from Akron, Ohio making or paid off $150,000, which was their

house, making 120 to 145.

They did it in four years.

All right, you guys.

Count it down.

Let's hear your big, deaf free scream.

Three, two, one.

We're deaf free.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Well, Dave, you know, on the show all the time we get calls about cars, used cars.

What's one thing you want folks to know?

Well, really a couple things.

Number one is always buy used unless you got a million dollars.

We don't buy new cars.

And if you're going to buy used number two, you want it to last.

And that means regular, proper maintenance.

Yeah, that's a big deal.

I know when Sam and I moved from South Florida up to Tennessee, that's the first thing you're

looking for.

You need somebody who can take care of your car.

So when we found Christian brothers automotive, it was a no-brainer and they've been absolutely

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We wish we could get to every call that calls in because usually some people leave voicemails

and we can try to call them back and get them on the show and then sometimes we can't.

So if you have a money question and you want to answer to your specific situation, head

to our website and use ask Ramsey.

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on podcasts, you can click the link in the description.

All right, let's head to Houston and we have Chris on the line.

Hi Chris.

Hello.

Hello.

Thank you for taking the call.

Absolutely.

How can we help today?

Well, I have a dilemma or a dilemma.

I don't know how to call it, but I'm a big current year and I really want to send a phone

to Dan.

We have two SUVs fully functional.

We don't need another car, but I want to and I just want to hear your opinion if it's

a time to buy something like that or I should still wait or not buy it all.

I don't know if it would be the answer from your side.

Well, number one, I just want to shout you out to you.

The fact that you called and said, I don't need this.

I want it already, like, put you in a different category of person that usually calls this.

Usually people are calling us and trying to explain why they need this thing so bad.

So shout out to you for just keeping it real.

That's awesome.

Okay.

So Chris, what's your financial situation?

Do you have consumer debt?

No, we only have mortgage to $100,000.

$200,000.

How much do you guys make a year?

About $178, depending on the bonuses and stuff like that.

$178, is that what you said?

$178, $180,000 per year.

$180,000.

Okay.

And what do you have, say, how much money do you have that you would spend on this car?

Well, I checked the net or the assets every quarter.

And in January, we were close to $800,000 for everything, like retirement accounts.

Oh, retirement.

Okay.

Savings, equity in the house.

So everything total came to about $405 in cash, another $17,000 is what's called, like investment

account that is taxable account.

Okay.

Is the $45 in cash, is that all you have?

Does that include an emergency fund, too?

Is that what you would use in case of an emergency, or do you have another fund for that?

Yeah.

Well, the taxable account is also accessible as an emergency or something like that.

But yeah, that's the cash.

It's money market, $24,000, that's all emergency and kind of flash funds.

So I don't break them by $1,000 or three to six months, it just stays there.

We're not touching it with a clean account.

Okay.

How much, from the lifestyle that you guys live, how much do you spend a month on your

life, including mortgage and everything?

How much do you think it is?

Food, bills, I love it.

Oh, I love it.

It's about $67,000 a month.

Okay.

And do you guys, do you all have kids?

Three, yes.

Three.

Okay.

Okay.

Perfect.

Well, so you have that $45,000 and that's $17,000, so I would probably want a six month.

$17,000, $17,000.

Oh, $17,000.

Oh, $17,000.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Okay.

Okay.

I've been paying $10,000, $20,000, depending on the day.

Okay.

I got you.

I got you.

Okay.

All right.

So, and you guys are consistently investing in retirement over $800,000.

And you said with equity in the home and retirement and everything else.

Yes.

Yes.

You've proved about 20% in retirement.

Okay.

Okay.

So, you're going to have a car?

Well, it's about $30, $35,000.

Okay.

What kind of car is that?

I used it.

BMW FM-550I.

So, sedan.

We have two SUVs and I'm going to desire for a faster sedan.

For a, yeah.

What is your, what does your wife think?

Well, she's not saying no.

But then I have this guilt inside of me.

I keep everybody on the budget and now I need to launch for myself.

So, that's another kind of factor in the decision-making.

I feel very bad that I'm keeping on the budget.

All of us in now, suddenly I'll launch something that I've done.

We call that a midlife crisis, but we all have them.

So, that's okay.

Probably.

No.

Okay.

Here's what I would like the money side of it.

Here's what I would like you to consider on the relationship side of it.

What if you took your wife?

I'll do your kids by the way.

Almost eight, six and four.

Okay.

So, what if you took your wife out and you all spent a half day together that you, you planned?

And y'all dreamed about, hey, we almost have a million dollars net worth.

We have three amazing kids.

Our marriage is good.

Like, what do we want our house to look like?

What are some dreams that we have?

Give her an opportunity to put some things on the table that she might want, might dream

about, things that she would love to see and experience.

And then y'all come up with some ways to fund the everybody's vision, you know what I'm

saying?

I do.

And they kind of have a quarter of the business dates where we, we're talking about that.

They go to a nice restaurant and kind of I give a report.

Okay.

We'll change here.

We are.

We're doing what we're going to do next.

What do you think?

What's your default?

Yeah.

So Chris, is there anything?

No.

Yeah, that's great.

But that's a business report.

I want you to do a dreaming report.

Uh-huh.

Okay.

Yeah.

Is there anything in the future that you guys are you wanting to upgrade the house?

Any renovations?

College funds?

Yeah.

Is there anything looming at all that this money could be used for or are you guys kind of

in a holding pattern right now?

You're like, we're kind of good.

We're just invested in retirement.

Kids college, the kids are little and we're just stacking cash because we, we have margin.

Nothing.

Nothing depends on those money like we bought, we go to Europe every year.

I'm from from South Eastern Europe, so we spend like $6,000 on tickets and we can afford

it without going to savings.

Yeah.

You can just cash flow it.

Sure.

Yeah.

This doesn't depend on that kind of you.

Yeah.

So we have the plan for that.

We've done the rent.

Okay.

Well, yeah.

I mean, if I'm you, I'm looking at these numbers and I'm thinking, okay, that's 70,000.

It's in that one account, 35 of it is emergency fund, 35 would be car.

So I'm basically that, that account to me is not existing anymore because I'm not even

to think about the emergency fund.

I'm not calculating that.

It's just going to be over here in case of an emergency, which means we have 45,000 in

the other account.

If something comes up, that again, we're not going to touch the emergency fund for, but

if you needed, you know, a big purchase that that's how I would, that's where I would

go.

It would be that 45,000 dollar fund.

For you.

So I'm saying, I mean, I think so.

There's nothing.

Right now for me.

No.

I mean, I think you guys are doing great.

I think as long as you're consistently investing, you're living below your means, you

have the cash for it with, you know, an extra 75,000 dollar cushion, including the emergency

fund after the purchase of this car.

I would be okay with it.

The only, and financially, of course, I, your wife, yeah, I want you.

And again, I, my bias is people only call me when things aren't going well in their

marriages, right?

So I don't want to put, I don't want to put my bias on you, okay?

But I do want you to ask yourself the question.

And it might be you taking yourself out for a half day and doing some journaling, some

writing out, some dreaming on your own.

But do you want to get this car because you love, like you said, you love your car enthusiast,

you got a gang of guys you want to drive around with, you just want to go cruising in Houston.

That's where I grew up.

There's, I mean, there's hundreds of miles of highways to drive.

Like, is that what I want to do or do I have an eight year old, a six year old, a four

year old?

I've got a routine and I'm just finding myself getting bored.

I want more, more the motivation of the purchase because you're going to, if that's the case,

you're going to spend 35,000 bucks, you're going to be bored on this one.

And then you're immediately going to start looking for the next one and then the next

one.

Right.

And so I would rather you deal with the, am I creating, am I co-creating a life with my

wife where there is excitement and aliveness and eroticism and fun and responsibility?

Are we doing that stuff together or am I trying to escape or am I trying to escape?

And this becomes a really, really expensive, you know, like social media app, just a way

to numb out the fact that I kind of am starting to feel kind of bored.

I see.

You know what I'm saying?

Very good.

Nice painting.

Very well, yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So from the financial side, Chris, I think you guys have enough margin.

I think you're fine.

I really do.

But John's insight is probably what I would put some of the focus on.

So even saying no to this purchase might be a better decision for you, just for you.

But if you're comfortable with the answers that you get when you, when you ask yourself

those questions, then get that car and cruise the streets, baby.

It's Green Line.

Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fair Windsor Credit Union Studio.

I am Rachel Cruz, hosting this hour with Dr. John Deloney.

And you can give us a call.

It's triple eight, eight, two, five, five, two, two, five.

Okay.

We're heading to Cleveland, Ohio to talk to Elizabeth, high Elizabeth.

Hello.

Thank you for taking my call.

You're so welcome.

How can we help today?

Well, I'm looking for guidance on how to wisely handle my elderly mother's finances without

enabling a lifetime pattern of debt.

This is a tough one.

So what's the current situation?

Yeah.

Yeah.

My mother is 83.

She's single and lives alone in a rural community in another state.

Her only income is social security of about $1,400 a month and she has no savings.

For decades, she's cycled between being rescued financially and accumulating $40,000

in debt.

And it seems as though that she has a spending addiction and she makes desperate financial

decisions and never followed a budget.

So right now, she owns her home outright with low property taxes less than $1,000 a year

and the house is set up for aging in place.

Our hope is that she can live there, live out her years there.

It's far cheaper than renting and she also has an older, reliable car.

So the situation now is, she's currently in debt of $40,000 again, it's $32,000 in a

HELOC and $8,000 in credit card debt.

Then she took out various life insurance policies to cover her debt because those television

ads during the day, you're towards her demo, their credit and predatory, yep.

They're predatory.

Yeah, they prey on.

It's awful.

Exactly.

People in her situation, lonely by themselves, isolated and they scare them to death and then

they sell them a solution to their fear.

Right.

So now she's paying $40,000 in debt, paying interest, making minimum payments and paying

for those life insurance policies.

Okay.

Hold on.

Hold on.