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The Black Effect Presents... We Talk Back!
In this episode of We Talk Back, AJ Holiday and Tam Bam deliver a candid and humorous conversation on relationships, financial literacy, self-growth, and navigating life as unapologetically Black women. Through personal stories and real-life experiences, they reflect on the importance of learning from past mistakes, listening to older generations, and making intentional decisions that support long-term growth. Their unfiltered dialogue blends laughter with life lessons, offering relatable insight into everyday challenges and wins.
The conversation also explores self-care, evolving friendships, health awareness, and money management, emphasizing the urgency of making necessary life changes before it’s too late.
Let’s discuss!
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This is an I Heart podcast.
Guaranteed Human.
Let me get this straight.
You and Italy.
Ciao.
Pretend it to be the white Italian man's fiance.
Hard to please.
This is Michael, my nephew.
What's your name?
Then you ended up catching feelings
for the black Italian cousin brother's mom.
On April 10th, she came for the pasta
and got lost in the sauce.
Please, just tell me the truth.
I don't know.
Is he fine, though?
Come on, baby.
She's not gonna say it.
She's trying to love me, baby.
You and me in Tuscany.
Ready to be 13.
Only Peter's April time may be inappropriate
for children under 13.
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Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast,
the production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.
We're just two unapologetically black women within the opinion.
Who talks back?
What's up, y'all?
It's your girl, AJ.
Holiday.
What's up, Sam Bell?
Y'all, it's me, Tim, man.
I love y'all so much.
Thank you all for coming back again this week.
Y'all.
I'm sad as hell, bro.
We blame it.
Everything on the way and going forward.
Y'all, he had me at Taco Bell.
You know, close to two.
That is sick.
That was sick too.
Oh no, bitch.
I'm fat because let me tell you,
I saw Instagram how people be making their own,
the twists from Taco Bell.
That's the only thing I'll eat from Taco Bell.
But you could buy like the,
there is like noodles this week noodles though.
And you fry them and they turn into those puffs
and then you put the cinnamon and sugar on them.
I saw that shit on it.
They do know he'll be throwing his sunglasses through the wall.
Yeah, I saw his glasses.
I saw him do that shit.
I was like, that's fire.
I'm going to try it.
When I tell y'all,
I went to Whole Foods,
Publix, Harris Theater.
I went to the Mexican grocery store.
They did not have the,
I don't know, they call it,
no, not Charles.
But it's,
it's like a wheat noodle.
And you know, at a certain heat,
like it blows up like that.
And you know,
I can not,
I've spent an evening looking for them shit locally.
And I just didn't know.
That's what I was doing.
I was spreading shit.
I spent an evening looking for them shit one day
when I saw that post.
Because I love those things that I hate fast food.
But I be trying to make all the shit at the house,
but you're making Chinese at the house now.
It's like a shit.
Yeah, it's just,
we gotta be better.
The podcast festival that,
we got been retaused fat
and the podcast festival is really so right now.
It's big term bill for real.
It's big term bill for real.
It's big term bill for real.
You know,
you gotta be clever with what you say.
I'm better,
I'm better fenced in this shit.
You know,
I was a big term bill.
You know,
yeah.
What did you do over the weekend?
I looked for Charles.
I like too much work.
And
where's my fucking narrows boss
from $500 almost $600 pots
from home since,
which is a new store like home goods
is like the same life.
Y'all got a home since there.
I just wanted Charlotte.
Girl,
these pots is $580,
but two pots.
And he bought them.
Yeah, but they are 100% copper.
And stainless steel.
They should last me forever.
Forever.
Forever.
So bitch, you come here.
I'm disturbing you out.
Them pots.
The pots go on the table.
I don't listen.
I don't.
I'm supposed to come to Charles.
If I come to Charles and don't
Thursday, can you make me something to eat?
What?
Healthy.
We got water.
I got to look,
I made spaghetti on Sunday.
That's what I be eating the whole week.
Veggie.
I used beyond meat
in there.
Bunch of vegetables.
And I put shrimp in it.
That's what I hate about spaghetti, huh?
Well, all week long?
Yeah.
It's a all week meal when you make this.
It's going to be four days old.
Are you coming on Thursday?
No, thank you.
You're right.
What did I do over the weekend?
I feel like I did something.
I don't be remembering.
Should I do it?
You know,
I can remember what I did this weekend.
Oh,
worked.
That was it.
I worked this weekend.
And I come back and I hang out with the old baby.
And that was it.
It was very like Sunday.
I rested back to work on Monday.
So I was getting the sense.
Oh, yeah.
Y'all.
What?
Kiki Shepard.
Yeah.
I saw that.
I played Kiki Shepard in a play I did.
It was actually,
um, streamgirls in Charleston, Malaysia, high school.
It was a big play though.
The whole city came out.
We had like, oh,
we did like four,
maybe four or five dates and times.
But I played Kiki Shepard.
I was sitting back and bitch.
Obviously.
And a director stole my fucking dresses.
I had all a nice ass sparkly shit from all the thrift stores around Charleston.
And he was like,
just give it to me.
I never got my shit back.
I played Kiki Shepard.
I love her, man.
She was definitely a staple in the black community.
For sure.
Yes.
Kiki Shepard Apollo coming out looking like a bad bitch every week.
Yes.
So he apparently had a sudden heart attack at 77 years old.
I'm 74.
74 years old.
Yeah.
You know,
Resident Peace Kiki Shepard.
Yeah, man.
1987 to 2002.
That's how long she graced the stage at the Apollo.
Apollo was theater.
Yeah.
That was a long time.
Yep.
Mm.
Did you watch the Oscars?
I did not.
I have not watched any of those award shows.
You know, because my my brain be working too much.
Right.
So I know what I'm looking at.
So I can't.
Did you did.
Did you watch it in the clips?
Like a Michael B.
Yeah.
I love them.
I'm so like.
That shit.
Every time I see an old boy winning a award.
Like that should be like bitch.
Start right.
Go finish writing.
Do you?
Yes.
Because I got a great movie out this month.
Okay.
Do it.
Man.
I'm trying to do that.
Yeah.
What you waiting on.
Cause I want to audition.
You want to part.
Yes.
I'm so proud of them.
I'm so proud of them.
You know, they basically like in Hall of Fame now at this point for movies.
Yes.
Yeah.
They go down in history.
I love love love.
How Ryan Kugler speaks about his wife.
Oh my god.
I just love that shit down.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's.
It's so beautiful.
How he.
You know,
champions her and everything that he does, you know.
And that's how you get all your gifts from God.
They come via women.
Yes.
I can't say that shit enough.
Fine you won and lock in.
Period.
Yeah.
Cause he always gives Thanksgiving, because she was a one who brought it,
you used to write your scripts, he talks about that.
I saw him talking, not on the breakfast,
but something I was watching I see.
I saw him talk about, you know,
how she purchased the program for him.
So like, this nigga had an idea
and she helped him execute.
So of course, you spoke of the good things.
She was crying when he was doing his speech.
It was just so beautiful.
Oh, I got a beautiful story to share with y'all.
It's sad, but it's beautiful.
My, one of my sister's best friends,
he flew in from Hawaii to go to his cousin's wedding.
His cousin was sick with cancer
and he was getting married and he was really sick, you know,
like really knocking on the store,
but him and his wife, his girlfriend,
who they had three kids,
they wanted to go ahead and get married.
They had been planning to be married
and you know, the sickness came
and it wasn't gonna stop them.
So that weekend was a weekend of the wedding.
All the family had come to town.
Everybody was ready to celebrate.
They're nuptials and they're in that week
before the wedding.
He took very ill and ended up in the hospital
and then ended up on life support.
And so the wedding was supposed to be that Sunday
by Wednesday, he was not doing too good in the hospital.
So by Friday, they were going to pull the plug on him
and you know, see if he survived or not.
They pulled the plug and he did not pass away.
So they decided to, if he was going to, you know,
still be alive, they wanted to go ahead
and have the wedding.
So they had all the bridesmaids.
The bride gets dressed up.
Everybody come to the closest family, not all the guests,
but all the closest family that could fit in that room.
They went to the hospital.
The pastor came to the hospital
and there did the vows by the bedside of his hospital bed.
And when it was his turn to say, I do, he shook his head.
Yes, he couldn't speak anymore,
but his shook his head, yes.
And then the kids and the hour later, he passed away.
Girl, what?
Yes.
Ain't that crazy?
He said that all he wanted to do was make it to his wedding.
He wanted to make an honest woman of his,
the mother of his kids.
And he died an hour after doing that.
Baby, when I tell you, our cries so hard on Sunday,
I ain't never met these people in my life.
But when I tell you our cries,
because it was so beautiful and so sad,
and it sound like something shined around the road,
but not real life.
So, that happened, y'all.
Where were they now in South Carolina?
He's seen.
Oh, okay.
It's happening in DC.
Damn it, man.
But what a beautiful, well.
Yeah, I mean, I, it's possible.
Yeah.
So, I know that was kind of random,
but I just wanted to share that story with y'all,
because I mean, how, you know,
that's a wild story and a beautiful story
that says story all at once.
Yeah.
So now, how do we transition in now to AJ, E.J. Johnson?
Because that's what I want to talk about.
Go ahead.
So, Carlos King sat down with E.J. Johnson on his podcast,
which is also on Black Fag, Faga Network.
And E.J. Johnson had a lot of choice words, right?
A few that I can remember is that, you know,
he looks better than women, most of us, okay?
In a skirt.
In a skirt.
And also that he does not date straight men.
He does.
I want to talk of a, he only date straight men, excuse me,
he only date straight men.
I'm trying to figure out what the fuck does that mean?
At the gate.
I was, you know what, and me and a friend of the show,
you know, as well, we were a powwowin last night through DMs.
And he said he understood that sent to me
about only the straight men.
And I was, I was like, can I ask a question?
Yeah, cause what kind of fucking sister that make?
Cause I could like, I just be confused and y'all forgive me.
But if you are dating him as a man and both of y'all are men,
he is no longer a straight man, he is not straight.
So how can you only like straight men?
That's not a straight man, right?
Am I crazy?
Right.
And if you are a man of a certain age,
you ain't just now randomly,
but to run an E.J. Johnson and holler at him.
Okay, you have had dealings with other men before.
So is the thought process that this man has never been
with a man prior to you?
Is that what he means?
Like, or do you mean you want a man
who primarily only dates women?
But then it's also attracted to you.
Cause you think you're a woman, right?
Either way, it's not a straight man.
I don't care how you pick a cheek.
It's not the same thing.
You can talk on if you rub it down, everybody gay.
Everybody gay.
What we talking about.
And the part about him, you know,
looking better in a woman and a skirt.
I mean, I don't know if it was shade,
but I feel like a lot of a gay men,
they try to slight women in that way.
They're always talking about how they look more
of a woman than a woman.
Because me and a woman, I say this over and over again,
is not about aesthetic.
Okay?
You can go to the hospital.
I mean, go to get surgery to look like a woman.
Yes, you can do that, right?
But you will still not be a woman.
Biologically, you're just not.
And I, you know what?
And be whoever you want to be.
That's fine.
But I just hate why you got to, you know,
not women in the process of you becoming whoever you are.
I'm like, why you can say it?
I look better than any woman in a skirt.
Hey, why are you even doing that?
That's just unnecessary shade to me.
Because you can think you're fine.
And it's okay to think you're fine
and think you're a woman or whatever you think you are.
I don't care.
That's your prerogative.
But when you start saying shit like that,
like now that's shade to me.
Like what I had to do with your shit.
Why are you talking shit about, you know?
Absolutely nothing.
And I think the only that difference between
gay men and straight men who, you know,
just publicly or outright have this disdain for women.
Is that one is gay and one Sadie and gay?
One is outright gay because both of them be hating
on women.
All of them be hating on women is like,
they cannot stand us because they are not us.
That is what it boils down to.
And also you dating a supposed heterosexual man,
that means that man has a family probably.
He has children, he has a wife, he has a girlfriend,
and it does something for you to also have access to that man.
Yeah.
Maybe it makes you feel like you have more proximity
to women who are there something I don't know.
That's what I would imagine like.
But if you have a gay man friend,
like they do be the best friends too though.
My gay homeboy would be happy to meet up
even when I'm fat.
He'd be like, you know, all the right places being.
You know, a lot of them are sweet people,
but then they have this little this,
they all have a little thing with them, right?
This little competition with women.
And we're not in competition with y'all.
The minute, if I'm talking with somebody,
like God forbid this would ever happen, you know.
But I think that might be the femme ones
because it's something that,
do you think it's the masculine presenting?
No.
No, it's the feminine or the transsexuals.
Usually those are the ones who, you know,
I saw, you know, T.S. Madison.
She was on line one time.
She was like, we are the men who protect trans women.
Like what?
You're a man.
Protect yourself.
This is what we're talking about.
Thank you.
You know, I wouldn't even talk about where are the men
to protect trans women.
What?
What are we talking about?
I will not.
I refuse to play into this delusion
with these grown ass men.
I refuse because again,
the highest form of patriarchy is for a man to tell you,
bitch, I'm you because I feel like it.
No, sir.
You a man.
And I don't know if fuck who get mad about it.
You will.
Because we don't care about our feelings.
They don't care about our feelings.
They don't care about our respect.
There are stances, but they don't give a damn
what we're talking about because it's still patriarchy.
You do not hear from trans men.
You do not hear trans men,
which are women.
I'll hear Ruhan and everybody face the same.
Yes, I'm a man.
And I'm a fucking man.
I'm stronger than anybody.
I'm good.
I'm stronger than anybody.
Don't run.
Don't let me tell you, women,
we're the best at all of shit.
Because those trans men be fine as hell.
Do you hear me?
Some of them.
Some of them are gonna ask the fat, like,
I hate seeing the trans living with their fat asses.
Or some that you can understand why they trans
into a man and they be pregnant.
Right.
What is that?
Shrek.
What is that?
It's a lot going on.
It's a lot happening.
What is happening?
You got that big old boonkey.
Tell my you and baby.
What am I causing?
Hey girl.
Boy, whatever the fuck.
She got the fat ass in the world.
She the boy in the relationship.
The fat, she, and she got kinkles,
like the cast legs, all these are ankle.
This is fat, I'm bitch.
Okay.
She's the boy.
And I'll always be like,
how are you doing all that with that fat ass?
It's sagging.
Girl, if you'll put your pants up.
That's so fat.
Need a lap then.
Shame.
All right.
So any L.E.
chopper says,
you ain't never been through shit
if you wear a seatbelt.
He is riding down the street with no seatbelt
on top of my, if you wear a seatbelt,
you ain't been through shit.
If you ever see him in the seatbelt,
he riding with somebody who he feel like can't drive.
And that's the only time he wears a seatbelt
because he doesn't have real life experiences.
Boy, you stupid.
Because you're not concerned about getting
axons with all the people I can drive.
I wear a seatbelt
because somebody else might hit me.
Right.
Defensive driving.
Where is the sense?
And these are not these.
This is the people that like young youth
are looking up to.
And it's scary.
You think niggas looking up to NLU chopper?
Young, maybe young niggas.
So now they're thinking like,
now they're riding down the street with no seatbelt
because they want to prove they've been through
so shit.
I've been jumped by mousse.
I don't want to be loose in the car.
Like when I don't got my seatbelt on,
I feel loose like I'm just all over the place
of the car like, whoa, whoa.
That's because you drive it on.
That's over the speedboats, bitch.
And jumping up.
Yeah, put your fucking seatbelt on, stupid.
And it ain't just because it's not just for you.
Okay, like even if you are a good driver,
everybody is not a good driver.
Somebody can't hit you.
You ain't got no seatbelt on.
So now you ask, go to the windshield.
Because you bit through stuff.
Moose-ass.
You go to beat through the bush, shit.
You go to beat through a wishy.
You got to beat your seatbelt off.
Take me through there.
What are we going, twin?
Right.
Y'all, so I have an Eminem.
Messy meme.
The game, the game tweeted and said,
we all hit calling each other mattress sizes.
Twin, king, and queen.
I guess we say full though.
I feel full.
I have a full right now.
That's me right now.
Damn.
You're full, Twig-Queen.
Full is full.
What are we talking about this week?
All right, y'all, you know how I always say like,
I feel like our podcast for me,
my target market is, you know, the younger women, right?
Y'all can live vicariously through us.
You don't have to go through the dumb shit.
But I wanted to talk about some things you wish you would have.
Listen to at 25 or something,
somebody may have told you ask that you didn't listen to
that now at your current age, you wish you had.
That's what I want to talk about today.
Okay, I like it.
Red mega soft ass.
Mm-hmm.
Listen.
Let's get into it.
We'll be right back.
Let me get this straight.
You and Italy, child.
Pretend it to be the white Italian man's fiance.
Hard to believe.
This is Michael, my nephew.
One job, no.
Then you ended up catching feelings
for the black Italian cousin brothers, no.
On April 10th, she came for the pasta
and got lost in the sauce.
Please, just tell me that you support me.
No, what?
Is he fine, though?
Come on, baby.
Look at this.
Pray you love me, baby.
You be in Tuscany, ready to pitch your 13.
Only Peter's April tab may be inappropriate
for children under 13.
This past weekend, like every other Sunday,
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Just to pick up game, living out your hoot dreams.
No triple doubles, but a main set of threes.
In between buckets, one of the homies mentions.
He closed on a new career.
This is big.
And while everyone's asking about the housewarming
and making plans to celebrate,
you're asking the real question.
Like, has he spoke to this state farm agent
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See, home ownership is one thing,
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Trop in buckets and bars on the court.
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Okay, so I have one that should resonate
with everybody over 40 years old.
You are not, I've been doing the whole thing.
You are not fat.
You are not ugly.
You don't look bad.
The body that you have right now,
in 15 years from now,
you're gonna look back and be like,
it wasn't that bad.
I used to be so hard on my body.
I used to be so hard on my body at 25,
so hard on myself on 30,
so hard on myself at 35,
you know, just hard on your body and how it looks
and always,
even like I'm getting on here and I'm saying I'm fat,
but I'm more comfortable in my fatness
than I've ever been.
I mean, since you're like,
but I'm hold on now,
but we ain't about the way to even 10 more years from now
and looking back like,
oh, I wasn't up because I'll be damned
if I'm any bigger than what I am right now.
Oh, yeah, I got to be yourself right now
because I'm waddling bitch.
I'm gonna go,
but I'll be damned.
But even in my waddle,
my skin will be tighter than it is 10 years from now.
My, I'll just be more youthful, you know?
I'll just be 10 years older.
So we just have to appreciate the body that we have
while we in it while we in the moment and start right
being hard on ourselves.
So that's definitely one.
Cause I know we all look back on that,
on pictures from like,
and I was like,
dude, I was saying I was fat.
I look good as fuck right there.
Right, can I get back there?
Right.
I was looking at some pictures
that when I used to live in St. Louis
and I feel like I probably had the best body,
I would say then,
so that would have been like 20 from 2011 to 2015,
or 2010 to 2015.
And then like sometime like in 2000,
I don't know, eight, something like that.
Like I don't know, it was a good,
it was a good little,
I just remember my mind being different
around that time too, right?
I was way more disciplined around that time.
I was kind of more isolated
cause I was living away with no family,
hardly no friends.
And I went to the gym every fucking day,
but I was like, I was really focused
until I got into a relationship
a long distance one.
Then I moved back south,
and then I got fat,
and then I almost went to prison,
just fucking domino effect after that.
Then I got into another relationship,
game all, like it's just listen.
Life, life.
Yes.
So one of my suggestions,
if you are in your,
or why where somebody would have told me was,
you know, keep your aggressiveness.
Am I always say that?
Get out of those relationships soon and early
if they are not serving you, do not stay around.
Now, wait, you could put on wait
and happy relationships soon now
cause you're just eating and laying up.
That's what I'm doing with that.
Why aren't you?
Yeah, let's go and talk to me.
That's always fun, but don't forget, right?
Cause it is easier to lose weight in your 20s.
And it is easier to lose.
You know, hold it, you get your metabolism slowed down,
but you got to take all type of supplements
and all type of shit to get that.
It's just something is just your body exchange
is not the same.
Molecular, you know, formation of all the things
is just not the same.
You know, one that I have,
and I wish somebody would have told me at 25,
or I would, you know, known at 25.
Y'all start putting money into an IRA now.
Now, because by the time you're retired,
you can have a million dollars waiting on you.
A million dollars just by putting little small amounts
over time, you can have so much money.
Yeah, me and also, I mean, never mind 25,
like right now, like what are we doing to set that up
for now?
Cause I know I'm working on it.
But a lot of people, even our age right now
aren't doing that because they still don't have
the financial literacy.
So that is one part I wanted to get to with younger,
I wish when I was younger, like my mom never explained credit.
She's always had good credit.
She just, she doesn't know how to make money off credit, right?
She doesn't understand finance and that means.
She wanted to monetize it.
Yeah, she just knew you buy something you got to pay for it.
Or, you know, if you don't have the money,
you can't get it.
That's all she knew.
She's always had like a 800 somethings credit score,
but she never passed that information down to her kids.
All of us have had bad credit at some fucking point.
Okay, I don't get credit out twice in life now.
First of all, I have all kinds of bills in my name.
I would miss every eight years old.
Oh, that's another day.
Pull your credit report.
The plan to hold your mom is pull your credit report right now.
If you've never pulled your credit report,
you're 25 listening and we talk about polio shit.
Just in case, there might be a default light bill in your name.
Right.
You don't got to get your mom arrested,
but you can dispute it today.
Yeah.
If you need help, DM me.
Right.
Right.
I remember my friend,
kin like when, when I met him, I might have been,
I probably was like 27 at the time.
And I've always been an adult though.
You know what I'm saying?
So there's a lot of things.
I feel like anybody never told me shit.
My mom ain't never told me nothing.
Like anything I know,
I had to learn on my own for the most part.
But I remember pulling his credit report.
You know, his dad is African.
So his dad would talk shit to him about how,
you know, he's paying for him to go through school
to school and all that shit.
Man, I pull it.
Man, I never had so much shit in his name,
including him student loans.
Look at that, he made for nothing.
Boy, I think a credit report was crazy.
I mean, like he had so much shit
and had never put anything in his name.
Wow.
And a whole credit profile.
So check your shit.
Check your credit report today.
Oh, my mom had somebody at one time using her credit,
but they was paying shit on time.
It was so weird that her credit score was going up
on shit that she never had.
Yes, she probably just let somebody,
I mean, essentially they, they build her credit for her basically.
Yeah, but she don't know who it was.
It was probably somebody probably stole
her social security number as a CPN.
And that person was actually taking care of it.
Yeah.
And not burning it out.
You know, I y'all about to go to jail for fraud
for burning out CPNs and shit.
But that might be what happened, shit, thank you.
It was wow.
Let me open somebody, hack my shit, because listen,
I'm blaming everything on you.
I never went to college.
Who's students are those?
Been a dick college.
Hmm, man, never been.
Please, I didn't, I don't know who did that.
I don't know this man.
Yeah, so let me think of anything else.
I wish somebody would have told me at 25 now finances.
I don't know, let's talk about men.
Yeah.
Relationships.
Relationships.
Get out, like I said, fast and soon.
Like don't wait for the sixth flag.
Let me tell you that's one that I still ain't learned my lesson.
I like, I just be locked in like I'd be like someone love.
I'd be once I get there, it's hard for me to let go.
I still struggle.
Now, it's take a lot for me to get there with somebody.
You take a whole lot for me to be like, oh, I love them.
And I really want to be with them.
And I'm acclaimed in publicly.
But once I get there, I'm ready to go through hell
and high water with my father forever.
And I think also society makes women feel like we give up
on relationships so easily.
Like we easily walk away.
And it cannot be furthest from the truth.
I think a lot of us stay in relationships,
hoping it gets better, you know, but man, I'm telling y'all,
men are not going to do what have to shit.
They put you through.
So just think about it.
That is when you need to think like a man.
You need to think like a man.
When the man is doing some shit to you.
And what he's staying with you if you do the same thing to him.
Because nine times out of 10, he's going to be your ass.
And then he ought to do it.
But sometimes like if you cheat on him,
some of these makers be saying, it's just be a secret.
But then why didn't you smile like that?
I just heard.
I just heard.
Like he ain't going to never share with his homeboys
that you cheated on him before.
Yeah, because he probably, he probably stuff consciously
think you owe him that because he probably not cheated on your ass
or you or maybe he's cheated worse than you ever known.
You know, and I'm not going to say there's no relationships
out here with women then cheat first, third and last.
I'm not saying that because women be cheating for sure.
We just don't get caught.
I feel like you really love your partner when you don't get caught.
When you be leaving trash out for people to step on and see,
like dog leave shit out.
You do not love the person you're with.
You're
Oh, you think about it because people just be not.
Some people just not sleep.
You know, that's what I mean to be slick of you cheating.
Yeah, you need to be, but everybody,
all right, one of my homegirls,
she is the worst cheater in the world.
I'm like, God damn, you need to stop.
You keep getting caught.
I'm talking about every single time she get caught ring and hand it.
It's like she would caught with a nigga.
It wouldn't be like every day.
It'd be like with another nigga like she.
You got that.
Every one time she got caught, she caught me.
She's like, girl, my man came and I had a dozen
to get my house out with a hit in the closet.
That's it.
At your own house, me.
I got a homegirl.
Who her and the nigga was under the bed, bitch.
Her baby dad and I have broken the window of her apartment.
He climbed up to a second floor window
and got inside her apartment.
Her and the other nigga was underneath the bed.
I watching, watching feet like a scary movie.
Oh, God.
Oh, yeah, they didn't get caught.
No, he never knew who they were in there to this day.
I mean, they get together.
I see, I'm like, it's like that because I know how I would act
if I caught somebody.
I might break in my cousin house.
You break in my house.
I'm flipping that shit on you with the nigga sitting right there.
How dare you break into my mother fuck house.
I tell you, I'm a gas like this shit.
Like that nigga.
Why?
You going to jail?
I'm not taking accountability.
Fuck that.
I'm not taking accountability for being on the motion
when you don't broken my house.
No.
Fuck you.
What are you doing here?
I'm not taking the house.
It's funny.
Absolutely not.
Reality versus potential.
When you see this man, and this is how he's presenting,
believe him.
Now I can tell you, I was in, that's why hate Columbia so much.
I've had some of my worst relationships
in Columbia, South Carolina.
OK.
And when my boyfriend's, I met him at the gas station
by the apartment where I lived at.
He was actually working at the gas station part-time
just so he can get gas money to drive,
to Orangeburg, because these are mechanic school, right?
So I saw the potential.
But this man had a whole fucking family down there.
Still with the family.
He's still with his big mom to his date.
OK.
His kid's grown his hair now.
But I was, I saw, I don't know.
I think women, we be so delusional.
Like, we be seeing a future with every fucking body.
He was such a hard worker.
Like, yes, you can see the potential
and where he's going to be at in the future,
because he does well now, right?
And I saw that then, but he was on some bullshit.
Like, he always going to be a lover boy.
Like his baby mama going to always have to do
with him fucking out of the bitches forever.
And I knew that then.
So I got a bit of that work will no more.
I got about it there, but y'all, it was too, too, too,
who pregnant these later.
The baby mom was pregnant.
The second time I was pregnant at the same time,
it was a whole lot of bullshit.
Am I 20, middle finger to my old life?
Don't go through it.
The minute a bitch called you a fool,
I remember this girl calling my phone.
I met work.
She like, who are you to sew and sew?
I said, who did he say I am?
I said, you calling me, you should ask him.
And first of all, why are you going through his phone?
That's my favorite shit to tell a bitch, you know what I mean?
Why are you in his phone?
And if you got a check for me,
you already know what time it is.
Right.
I'm not, but yeah, ask that man.
Okay.
I remember I had a girl post my picture on social media.
Told her.
Her nigga that I ain't even never met in real life.
He was just in the DMs.
And they were on vacation.
And he was like messaging me while they were on vacation
because they were arguing about something.
I didn't, I didn't know none of this.
And then I wake up in the morning and I'm tagged.
It's a bullshit.
I'm like, what the fuck aren't even known
this nigga like that?
It's a relax.
Why are you ruining vacation girl?
That's why I listen to how I always tell my clients
and homegirls like, don't ruin your own vacation
on some bullshit going through.
Why would you go through a nigga phone on vacation?
Like you want to have a bad time.
You asked me a bullshit.
Basically, I had a nigga go through my phone on Christmas.
Like, what the fuck?
You want to ruin Christmas and new years at this point
because fuck you.
You ain't going into my new years.
Right.
Why are you in my damn cell phone?
Anytime my nigga went through my phone,
I was flabbergasted because I thought only women did that.
So I was like, it's not, they do it.
They go through, I'm gonna tell y'all,
men go through women's phone.
Ain't it been the time I've ever been in a real serious
relationship with a man that I don't pick my phone up
and my settings is different at all type of shit
weird in my cell phone
because I know he been in there fiddling around
doing some shit.
Yeah.
So get you to the whole thing.
I wasn't even covering my tracks
because I just thought niggas just did not do that.
Wrong again.
I never even up until the point to where a man actually
did it, I still covered my tracks just in case.
My mind, I don't wish it passed nobody.
I definitely thought niggas was too thorough for that.
No.
No, absolutely not.
Now, you know how you can lock everything.
My photos is face I did, my everything.
You can't get in shit without my face.
Don't sleep too hard.
You can't put that phone in your face.
Right, that would be the only way
you have to do it in my sleep.
Yeah, I don't set up none of that biometric shit
on my cell phone.
Like you got to use a pen.
I'm not, it's not no face recognition none of that.
No, no.
You got to put the pen in and my shit long too.
It's nine characters.
You'll never get out.
You'll never get out.
Yeah, nine.
So and then even when you do like the little cold
on the phone, people can look and see like
how you make your friends.
Yeah, the fingerprints on your phone.
So I don't do that either.
Yeah, and I don't even, I don't think I don't have
nothing to hide.
Now, I just still keep it locked.
Yeah.
Now, now I got what relationships.
Yeah, just get out of there soon and early.
Your mama is right.
These niggas ain't shit.
They just want to see your asshole
and once they do they out of there.
There's only two men that really love you.
Is it your daddy?
Okay.
I mean, the two, you know, two men
that actually want to be around you, your daddy
and the man that truly loves you.
The rest of these men, they only around
until they have sex with you.
Just know that.
They're gonna chase you until they get to Gucci
and all of a sudden you chasing them.
Oh, I have one that a lot of you women and me need to hear.
Guess what?
Sometimes you're wrong.
Sometimes you're not right.
You can't be right every single time.
Sometimes you are the wrong person.
And if you are listening and think every time you are right,
you probably wrong more times than not.
There's no way you're always right.
So sometimes you have to be like,
okay, like maybe I should think about this more objectively
instead of just from my own perspective.
Great.
Try that shit.
I had to learn that one.
I had to learn that one.
I just remember like in my 20s,
I was definitely how I think is right
and that's the only right way.
And it just felt like it was supposed to make sense
what I thought to everybody else.
Okay.
Yeah.
I mean, I feel like perspective
and just saying the word perspective is 10 years old, right?
People didn't even consider
other people's perspective about something.
You know, I don't know.
Personally, I don't be talk about shit I don't know about.
And then if somebody's telling me some shit I never heard
and I'm listening, I'm never just telling them,
oh, that's not, I don't, that's not right.
I don't do that.
I'd be like, okay.
And then I'll go do my own little independent research
and see what the fuck they're talking about.
But yeah, you absolutely don't know everything.
Nobody knows everything.
And the smartest person knows they know nothing.
Right.
Actually, it should always be a student.
Yeah, listen to your damn mama.
Your mama already said that, right?
Listen to your mama.
Your mama already, right?
The shit you think you are going through,
she's already been through it.
Right.
So anytime, if you're 25 right now,
anytime anybody who's older than you, tell you some shit.
Okay.
They tell you it from experience.
Somebody's been doing it.
Bitter is hell though.
I don't know, man.
We're so old, bit of bitch.
Yeah, I've been in a room for the whole bitch.
Bit of bitches.
Girl, I want you to be a salon.
I've been looking for this lady who used to do messy bond.
I've been looking for her man to see if she can do my hair
because I used to go to her as a kid.
But yeah, that fucking beauty salon was so catty.
Mm hmm.
And some of the conversations that should not have been had
in front of low girls.
Right.
And here's the line.
Everybody has been with Sheet and Jack.
So still, I mean, I guess.
Hump it in, hump it in, George.
You know what I'm talking about?
Other word, no.
We're, um, um, Cheney Nate and Kylo Lolo came to the, um,
the beat, and they was telling everybody about how they
heard this was out here cheating on everybody.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you.
Let me get this straight.
You and Italy, child.
Pretend it to be the white Italian man's fiance.
Hard to believe.
This is Michael, my nephew.
When she'll know, then you ended up catching feelings
for the black Italian cousin brothers, man.
On April tap, she came for the pasta and got lost in the sauce.
Please, just tell me the truth.
She put me down.
Oh, is he fine, though?
Come on, baby.
You can eat.
Try your love, me, baby.
You be in touch today.
Pretty bitchy, 13.
Only beaters, April tap.
Maybe inappropriate for children under 13.
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Will there be a thing?
Of course, this thing because you're always doing the most.
Oh, yeah, the food to cook or order out.
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Another thing I think that we take for granted is time, right?
So my oldest needs is 25.
My youngest needs now is she's 20.
She's 20.
Is she 21?
She's 20 or 21 anyway.
Second year at college and I remember,
for my youngest needs, I remember having a conversation
with her and maybe when she was in her 11th grade year,
just trying to talk about the future
because nobody did that for me, right?
Nobody helped me think about what I'm gonna do
when I finish high school because shit gets real
when she finished high school, right?
You go to college, you can go straight to the workforce,
you start getting, making money and acquiring bills
and credit fucked all type of things start happening.
Shit gets real, really fast when you are becoming an adult.
And 25, you are still a child, okay?
So a lot of the shit I was telling both of my nieces,
they are now having to experience.
I would have, my oldest needs I had been telling her
since she was a kid, all these niggas gay.
And she did not believe me until now, was she 28 years old?
And then my youngest needs like, yeah,
I remember sitting in the car with her,
trying to, everybody trying to tell you what to do
of my life, this is what she told me like in 11th grade.
And now she is trying to figure it out.
You know, the first two years of school didn't work out
as she planned, she now she has to come back home
and do tech for a little while to get her grades back up
because you have to have a different level of discipline
right now once you get into the real world
because there's nobody there to wake you up
and make sure you're on your shit.
You have to be self-motivated, right?
So work on that, work on your mind.
Like listen, read something, like now we're getting more
into like the self-help books and meditation
and all that stuff at this age,
but imagine if we was on this type of time at 25.
Like your mind would be really, really super duper fortified.
Like it wasn't until age 33 for me.
That's like 32 is when shit started getting bad
and going downhill and 33, I feel like.
And then just the time and not like in the rat race
of having to work with somebody else,
I was able to do a lot of research, I was able to read,
I had time to think, I had time to actually figure out
what is actually going on in the world.
But the older the younger you can do that,
the more advanced you will be, you know, 35, yeah.
So read, nigga, figure out what is going on
in the world for real.
I don't know, start therapy now.
You know what I'm saying?
Like it's a lot of stuff that we probably blame on childhood
that we probably could have, you know,
had somebody help us resolve by now on.
Yeah, because it comes out in dating, okay?
It comes out in how you present yourself
to the world every day.
Friendship, all that shit.
And you don't have as much time as you think.
That is the whole just of what I was trying to say.
Yes, you're 25 right now, but 10 years goes by so fast.
I was just telling a nigga the other day,
like, I think we're gonna be 50 soon, you know.
You were out here bump fumbling and bullshit.
You wanna be 50 doing the same thing
you're doing today if you do not make a change today.
So if you're 25 right now, I think you got time
because you're young and lit, baby.
The worst thing you look up right now
is add a baby to your bullshit, okay?
So yeah, you single, young, lit, no kids, you good.
She's become a mama shit real fast.
But let me tell you, their mama's be turning
in the superheroes though, sometimes though.
Sometimes I feel like I don't have as much hustle
as I should because I don't have no kids.
Oh, yeah, me too.
Sometimes I lay in the bed and people be going
to pick their kids up from day care.
I would be like, dude, that's crazy.
I got another good one pertaining to finances.
Don't spend your money trying to keep up with a lifestyle
or a look that is really outside your means.
Stop wasting money on dumb ass shit like that.
Like you buying a Chanel bag,
but ain't got no real mattress on your behead.
You know, like, or you don't have the means
to pay your rent by yourself,
but the money you get and you spending on clothes
and shoes and bags, it can't put no money in the bag.
And if this person is taking care of you,
decides to stop, now you're gonna get addicted.
Don't do dumb ass, I've seen that shit happen before.
I mean, we got grown as women,
that's still doing stuff like that,
but yeah, like definitely,
I mean, there's so much like financial literacy,
like, help shit on YouTube.
Check out some of those videos.
Learn about the stock market right now.
Like Tammy mentioned earlier about, you know,
doing a IRA stuff like that, annuities,
put a couple dollars, you have the money, okay?
I can assure you, I have way more money in my 20s
than I do now, okay?
And I did not save, save your money.
When I was living in Europe, a whole bunch of bo shit.
Bitch, when I was living in Europe,
I was bawling, hand like, bawling, okay?
And I was just blowing money, like,
you, I was blowing money like I was a drug dealer
straight up, like, oh, we just,
we flying to Amsterdam is we can, we going crazy.
And I just spent thousands of thousands of dollars
on bullshit.
I can't, I can't show food, none of that shit now, you know?
Yeah, and you owe, that is another thing.
You looking back on skinny pictures,
you're gonna be looking back on the money
you had your hands on that you don't have now,
you did absolutely nothing with.
You're not qualified at money.
You just, all this money going out and nothing coming in.
Nothing extra coming in.
Now, what I, and I'm not saying don't make memories
and experiences, but just balance, you know?
Absolutely.
Yeah, have fun.
You know what I'm saying?
If you can find a man who was more financially fun,
do that too, you gotta apply it.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, I also don't spend too much time
trying to look for somebody to find it
to fan finance your fucking life.
Make sure you didn't get with the money.
Right.
Okay, because I'm unfortunately learning, realizing that,
I'm gonna just have to be the nigga with the money
in my life.
Not that I don't, not that I don't,
not that it's not any minute I hear with the money man,
but it's really not a whole bunch of them to go around.
Remember that nigga, that, uh,
I said I was gonna marry Rich.
Bitch, you laugh.
Well, he ain't a lot of me,
because he told me I'm gonna have to work hard.
I'm gonna get everything I want.
I'm gonna just have to work hard and that is,
and I already knew that, right?
So it was just confirmation for me for real.
Because that is the story of my fucking life.
So I just got to get out of my, my own way, basically.
He told you you was gonna marry a basketball player, bitch,
because but you probably looking for a, uh,
dream Michael age nigga, like your niggas retired.
I want to know, I want no younger niggas.
No more.
I'm done with it all.
You got me fat.
Why you got me fat?
That's gonna be the day with this episode.
Yeah, so my, it's got me fat.
Let's talk about friendships right quick, right?
Because I am no longer friends with a few people who I were,
who I was friends with, like in my 20s.
Absolutely.
And I thought that it would never, I was,
I thought that these people would be my friends forever.
For life, right?
Yeah, and it's just, it doesn't work that way.
You know, what I don't believe in is people growing apart.
I don't, not my relationships.
It wasn't about people growing apart.
It's just somebody starting like a bitch, okay?
It ain't no growing apart once you get a certain age.
You don't feel like that?
No, I feel like you can, because I have some friends
that are still very good friends of mine, but we don't talk as often
because just distance in life, you know, like those are your,
those probably your best friends, though, you know what I'm saying?
Like those probably your, when y'all do talk,
y'all probably talk for a long time about relationships
that ended in pain, like you no longer talk to this person.
I, you know, I used to think that I had to hold on to friendships
that I've had for a long time.
That's another one, like you, just because you've been friends
with someone for a long time, don't mean y'all have to be friends forever.
Sometimes that chapter is done and that's okay.
You know, you holding on to unhealthy relationships
because y'all know each other since y'all was 14.
Fuck that.
Let that shit go.
It don't matter.
Sometimes it's just, okay, your piece is more important.
If you got girlfriends that y'all always arguing,
every time y'all talk is, it's discourse.
Like, just let that shit go.
It's okay.
And you can still love them and wish them well.
And I have nothing to do with them.
Yeah, my mom asked me about one of my ex-best friends
over the weekend.
And I get so annoyed when she does, I, I get so annoyed when she does
because it's almost like, did you forget what these people did to me?
It's almost like, ever with my daughter and my kids say,
such and such, such and such, bitch, I ain't your friend no more either.
Yeah.
And I mean, this, this particular person,
she's like a family member who I just don't fuck with.
Like, she's a family member who I don't talk to no more.
So, and we were friends from middle school, basically,
a very, very long time.
I mean, you know, I feel like I was in some abusive friendships.
The same.
Like, it's just a different type of abuse
because like, she would be mad at a,
mad at a, um, a boyfriend.
And then all of a sudden, like, you got to attitude,
I mean, the nastiest attitude towards me.
Like, why I gotta do with it?
Anytime I'm pissed at somebody,
the energy goes towards that person only.
I'm not taking it out on somebody else,
especially my home girl.
Like, your friends are there to make you happy
when these niggas make you mad.
Right.
But you mad at me when you mad at, you know,
it's just, it's weird and some of those relationships
you realize once they do end,
y'all probably were never really friends.
You know, sometimes it's really, really one sided.
Also, like, somebody's benefiting more off that friendship
than the other.
One of my friends got mad at me
because I was going through another failed situation
that didn't turn into a relationship
and I was really upset about it.
And she was like, you know, just trying to be encouraging
the right person that's gonna come along.
You just gotta not, whatever bitches say
to always make each other feel better.
And I was like, you know what, I'm sorry,
but I really don't wanna hear that motherfucker shit right now.
Right.
And she was upset that I said that to her
because she said that I was, she was just trying to encourage me
and make me feel better.
But sometimes it's okay to say, you know what?
I don't want to hear that shit right now.
Do you think I was wrong?
I mean, were you venting to her?
And so sometimes you gotta tell people you just want to air.
You really don't want anything from them, right?
You just want them to listen.
Because if you are calling her
and you just, you know, telling them all these,
all the bad shit that's been happening with you
and the relationship and all that shit
and they offer words of encouragement.
Why would you ever get upset about words of encouragement?
Well, I didn't, I wasn't upset with her
about the words of encouragement.
I wasn't like, but the way it came off,
she took it personally.
She took it on.
I don't want to hear that shit right now.
Like why did energy for me?
Yeah.
But it wasn't that shit.
This friend would do to me.
But it wasn't energy for her.
That's the thing.
It wasn't energy for her.
But it's like after 20 years of bitches saying,
they're right person coming.
Like girl, don't know why I want to hear that.
What the fuck is she doing?
Oh, yeah, I heard it before.
I mean, you're going to get mad at her
because you keep going through the niggas.
That's what the fuck is going through.
I'm going to go shit with that niggas.
Talk about the right person coming along.
Girl, I'm gonna fuck up.
Oh, you would have felt better.
She would have said bitch, steady yourself for a little while.
Stop dating bitch.
That would have made you feel better.
Yes, because she has to play in any way, you know what I'm saying?
But just get with the plan, the foot.
OK, so if you are in your 20s and you've got a friend
like me and you about her relationships, just listen.
OK, you always have to give your opinion about stuff.
Right, listen.
And I don't even think I used to be giving this bitch
my opinion about shit.
Literally, she would be giving her a opinion to me
about my niggas and one of my niggas.
She ain't that fucking think I don't know about it to the day.
OK, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
So just listen, not all you would not be friends
with all your friends forever, right?
And we'll feel like a real breakup.
It'll hurt.
And you don't fucking live.
And you want to make more friends.
OK, I don't, I've never had a problem making friends.
I always, I try to always, especially in the last decade,
anytime I unpack on friends, I always ask them first,
do it if they have the bandwidth for, you know,
I always ask, hey, can you handle me venting to you right now?
I try to do that because some people will just come dump on you
without even asking if it's OK to do that.
I think that's something that we should start, you know,
putting into our repertoire,
when we're talking to our friends, like ask first.
Don't just come, drop, you know, your friends are,
I mean, what are friends for?
They're there for that, but you got to also consider that
it might be more than they can handle at that time, you know?
And then also tell your friends, I just want you to listen,
I don't want advice.
And that's OK too, you know?
Also tell your friends good things about your relationship.
You don't want to just be like dumping all the trauma
and all the bad shit on them.
Like there are some good times, I think you can think of.
If you can't think of any good times in that relationship,
get out of there.
But you know, you don't always want to just come to your friends
with the bad shit because your friends are not going
to fuck with your person anymore.
You know, thank you, making bad decisions.
And eventually they ain't going to hear that shit.
I remember I used to be venting so much to one of my homegirls
who I'm no longer friends with.
I used to be venting to her about my ex, one of my exes.
And then I stopped, right?
I stopped venting to her because I'm like, you know what?
I'm going to just stop venting in everybody's ears
but this nigga and Tom are ready to leave for real.
But that was my way of, you know,
talking myself out of the relationship anyway, right?
But then when I would talk to her, she would be asking me
about what's going, like when I stopped mentioning,
she would then be asking.
But then the reason why I stopped even mentioning
is because she was like getting short with me
during conversation about it.
Like she was talking about it, right?
So I stopped talking about it.
And now you're asking me about the nigga.
Like I'm not even mentioning this nigga.
Don't ask me about him.
Right now, like which one is this?
Because when I am talking about it,
you don't want to hear it.
And when I stop, now you wonder why I stop.
Yeah, like what is happening?
Well, we know women, we can get with our friends
and being our nigga's, our friends ear back about the nigga.
Yeah.
And then the same shit over and over and over again.
And it can be annoying.
And we've all done it.
We've all been that friend.
And then you got to find new bitches to talk to it.
Talk to about it.
Because everybody don't say it.
Everybody know you got to find new people
to hear the illusion.
Yeah, get out of there.
But yeah, like as far as friendships,
like best friends usually be the ones
you don't talk to every day for real.
It's okay to break up with friends.
If the relationship is no longer serving you,
I kind of hate that term, you know, no longer serving you.
I understand what it means, but like what does it mean?
You know, if it doesn't feel good, right?
I get happy when I talk to my friends.
Me too.
I know the people who caused me like a little mental
anguish and I'm not friends with them anymore.
Like you see them break up with other people
and stop being other people friends for trivial bullshit.
Like your turn, your turn is coming.
It's definitely coming because one of my friends,
I would see her fall out with all these different people
and like me and her stayed thick steves
for many years afterwards.
But my time came eventually.
Yeah.
So I know how that feels.
You are not exempt from the bullshit, sweetie.
So if you have a friend who we've always got
different friends, they ain't your friend either.
Yeah.
Another one is you have to be the friend you want.
A lot of people have these high, such huge expectations
of friendship, but then aren't that type of friend
in return.
So you have to be the type of friend that you want.
You know.
Absolutely.
And that goes with relationships, right?
So we have all these demands for our significant others.
Right?
But a lot of times, no, they're to attract what you want.
You, you got to change.
It's the current you.
It's the same way as like you look back at somebody
you don't like anymore, right?
And you probably don't even like who you were
when you were dating him.
Mm hmm.
It's the same thing.
So if you want better, you have to also then
become better.
Listen, I was going through my text messages delete
and old shit.
And it was one of my old holes that I was like crazy about.
And I was reading my messages.
Oh, I was like, oh, you weaken the knees.
Stand up, bitch.
Like I was so mad at myself.
We use some of those messages.
Fucking pussy ass.
I was standing up.
What if he was showing those pussy ass home messages?
Look at his bitch, man.
Right.
She love me.
Look at what she love.
He's stupid.
Yeah.
Girl, 25 year old girl.
Just know he's showing them text messages.
You being weakened in knees.
Right.
To the negative.
Right.
Or to the bitchy cheat with that part.
You know what?
Yeah.
Just know that that that might be happening.
Okay.
It's possible for sure.
We kind of talked about, you know, health and all that stuff.
And, you know, not taking this current body.
For granted.
Right.
Make sure you take care of it.
Make sure you drink water.
We know y'all outside.
Drinking in the sea.
Let me warm again.
Okay.
Drink some water.
You don't know.
No more to say.
No more to say.
I know you ain't asked that.
It's to keep the vitamins.
Who's drinking water?
Girl these.
Who's drinking water?
I don't know.
Cause I don't be outside with the YN.
Everybody drinking, they.
They wait in tequila right now.
Okay.
Natural water.
Especially for my love, you know.
What is wrong with y'all?
Some of y'all looking like very old.
And that's because you're not taking care of your body.
For every liquor, shadow liquor, you need to drink a cup of water.
Daniel.
So our generation, I think we went through like the BBL,
through like the BBL era, right?
I don't know what's gonna be coming up for the Gen Zs
and what y'all gonna be doing.
Every peptide injectin' peptides in the next period.
So you wanna do consistency versus quick fixes.
You don't wanna have to be dealing with some shit.
Years later, you know.
From some shit you put in your body,
added, removed, all his weird shit.
Right.
Just, just work out.
Cause a lot of y'all girls who got the blister print
that said last 10 years,
now y'all gotta go have another surgery right now.
And I know y'all hate that shit in your 40s or something.
Right.
And hope you got the money.
Right.
Took her to get another, another breast implant surgery.
Let me get this straight.
You and Italy, child.
Pretended to be the white,
a tell your men's fiancee.
Hard to believe.
This is Michael, my nephew.
On John, no.
Then you ended up catching feelings
for the black Italian cousin brothers, man.
On April tap, she came for the pasta
and got lost in the sauce.
Please, just tell me that you support me.
Oh, no.
Is he fine, though?
Come on, baby.
You can eat, pray, and love me, baby.
You be in touch today.
Pretty bitchy, 13.
Only Peter's April tap may be inappropriate
for children under 13.
This fast weekend, like every other Sunday,
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Just a quick pick up game,
living out your hoop dreams.
No triple doubles, but me set of threes.
In between buckets, one of the homeless mission,
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This is big.
And while everyone's asking about housewarming
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Like has he spoken to his state farm agent yet about coverage?
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Even more than your last hot street,
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Dropping buckets at bars on the court.
A state farm agent can more than assist you
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If you have a claim, the local agent can help you file it.
Yup, that's right.
Over the phone, in person, online, or on the out.
They are ready to help you, and they don't drop the ball.
You know what I mean?
Like a good neighbor, state farm is there.
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I don't know how to, I don't know how,
I've always been pretty confident.
I know there are some older, younger women who lack confidence,
and I don't know how to help you get more confidence.
Look in the mirror and talk to yourself.
That's it.
That's exactly what the fuck I was about to say.
Y'all think that's crazy.
Somebody said something to me the other day about looking at the mirror.
But, I mean, it's literally a portal, okay?
So whatever you want to be, you look in the mirror,
and that's where you merge those two realities, okay?
You bring that other reality through the mirror, right?
You know what?
As a young woman, I struggled with,
I always gave off confidence, but deep down inside,
I struggled with my insecurities,
and I struggled with imposter syndrome and things like that.
But on the outside, I just be putting on a good face.
But deep beneath the surface,
there were all these things that really lie there.
That, you know, I wasn't as confident as I thought,
like I projected, and I wasn't as secure as I projected.
And those things, I still battle with sometimes,
you know, like I'm not perfect.
You know, I do know who I am at this age.
I know exactly who I am,
but sometimes I still struggle with insecurities.
I mean, and put out one woman who don't have no insecurities,
and I'll call you a liar.
There's something.
You know, absolutely.
Yeah, you know, there's something there that you might.
I think we, I think you get a certain age,
you're like, fuck it,
this is how I'm showing up, whatever body, whatever face,
like this is, it is what it is.
I think it's just a little bit more pressure
for the younger people, right?
Yeah, you gotta, you just have to really try to find self-love.
That is what it all boils down to,
and everything else will work itself out.
You gotta like you today, work on that.
Everybody, and I don't think like you,
like you, everybody definitely has insecurities.
Everybody, I think everybody puts a mask on
when they grow up, right?
Yeah, and then you gotta go home
and actually deal with yourself.
Mm-hmm.
When you're getting in that mirror,
yeah, make sure you can deal with you.
That's really all that matters.
Fuck everybody else.
And you'll ask you,
that's why I could never be a stripper or a prostitute.
No shade to y'all,
but I just would be scared in the mirror.
Like outside, it's like, okay, okay,
but when you're in that house by yourself,
you have to really be with yourself with you.
And you know what, and that's why a lot of people
don't be at home by themselves.
Mm-hmm.
Because they,
or they're not the real self
when they're at home by themselves,
they're probably drinking on drugs, you know?
So they're faced in the phone,
keep their face in the phone and things like that,
and don't really sit with themselves.
And I'll tell you also,
it's okay to fake it till you make it.
Also, right?
So you might feel like yeah,
you were showing up this way,
you're showing up this way,
but deep down inside, this is how you feel.
Eventually, you will trick your subconscious mind
and you will become that thing you've been acting like you were.
Okay.
So you will become that much more confident, right?
Just, sometimes you,
some certain situations you've got to fake it till you make it.
For real.
That was wild, and I just said that.
The reason why I was never a stripper or a prostitute.
You got it.
I just be getting on this bike,
just saying it ain't real.
No, I think it's true though.
I can only imagine like some of the things that strippers
and prostitutes actually go through.
And they, they don't,
you don't, I didn't never watch,
what's the girl, Janice, the,
I know she does like only fans and stuff like that.
So many, you need to narrow it down.
Yeah, she was on,
she was on Joe Buttons recently.
Janice, is that an age Janice?
I don't know.
Anyway, but I remember she was on poor minds
and she, you know, she was crying.
She did talk about how she was on Joe Button,
Joe Button talking about how she, you know,
something did happen to her when she was a child
and things like that.
So a lot of people who end up in those industries,
they have dealt with a lot of trauma, right?
And maybe this particular thing is,
this is how they're expressing,
that's how that trauma is being expressed, right?
Through this lifestyle,
but that's not really what they want to do,
but maybe they think that's all they are good for.
You know, so I can imagine,
yeah, I can imagine how they feel
when they're, when they're, when they're about ourselves,
it's not like crazy for you to say you would be more concerned
about the mirror, like for real.
Right.
For real.
I'm more concerned about how I see me
versus how other people see me,
because I know me, right?
So as long as I fuck with me,
I don't care who doesn't.
Fuck with me.
That's right.
Don't be no people pleaser, okay?
For men, for a friend, for a family,
you regret that and you're going to be learning that for you,
how to say no.
Right. And you never,
and you're not going to get a reward for that shit.
No, you're not going to get a reward
for being available and overextending yourself
to everybody and everything but yourself.
Yeah.
I think earlier on, maybe people,
I don't know if I ever cared about being liked.
I promise, I don't know if I've ever cared about
just like making sure everybody likes me.
I feel like I like more organic relationships anyway.
So me and a person kick it off,
like that is who I'm supposed to be friends with.
Like I'm never, I don't know.
So I definitely get wrapped up in just wanting everybody
to like them.
And you want to learn that everybody ain't going to like you.
No matter what.
It's the first in the world.
Let me tell you, when I was,
especially when I was like very young
and college, my college age,
I was concerned with that.
Like, why don't you like me?
You know, like I will want people to like me.
And, but then I had to realize like,
some of these bitches are committed
to not like you for no reason.
So it's pointless.
Oh, I don't even like they sell them.
So how do you like you?
It's pointless to try to even figure it out.
You know, like, you know, you get to a place
where you can't worry about shit like that.
You'd be worried all day.
Well, yeah, don't like you.
Shame.
So let's do like a little quick,
little rapid fire game right quick for 25 year old you.
Okay.
Let's see.
So let me put my hair in a hump in the top.
Loving away.
Uh huh.
You remember the little hump that was popular?
Like you just grabbed that little piece right across the front
and put it was that at 25 push it up.
I feel like that was younger than 25.
Really?
I don't know.
I feel like that was 16.
What was that when that 25 girl?
What what are you talking about?
You had a hump in the soul.
You know, yeah, you was doing hair at 25.
You was doing bitches.
So in that 25 and definitely putting a hump in it.
What do you mean a hump that we have right there?
I'm going to find a picture of this shit.
All right.
So A, I would have listened.
B, I would have ignored it.
And C is I would have done the opposite.
Okay.
Okay.
Save at least 20% of your income.
Oh, what's the A I would have listened?
B, I would.
C.
You would have done the opposite at 25.
It's been that shit.
Gas on all drinks.
You're on the game.
I'm in there.
If you, if you, if somebody would have told you then,
would you have done it like that with your parents mind?
What was I doing at this time?
Just don't let me pay attention to this age.
Oh, A is I would have listened.
Has somebody told me B is I would have ignored.
Has somebody told me?
C, I would have done the opposite had someone told me.
So first question is, save at least 20% of your income.
If someone had told you to save at least 20% of your income.
Somebody did tell me shit that shit.
But I was still laughing at how right.
You know, somebody, I didn't have somebody telling me that shit,
you know, I just didn't give a fuck.
At the time I was young, wild and free
and making money for the first time.
So who's just like, and I just assumed
that that money was going to be consistent forever
in my head like, so you know, I already arrived.
Yeah.
And it's just up for me here.
It's just up for me or bitch.
Yeah, no, yeah.
Sometimes you up and sometimes you down, right?
You go and learn that.
Yeah, leave him the first time he lies.
Oh, wait, you can't answer it.
Oh, yeah.
Of course, like, yeah, I wouldn't save like I spend so much money
in my mouth, I can 20 bitch.
I remember like, I had a couple accidents,
like I had like stacks and different times
and life on top of income.
And I just, I don't know where the money went at.
I don't know where it went, bullshit.
No, BB got a lot of my mother's fucking money.
BB R&B, oh my gosh.
Cash A?
I used to be a cash A running it up.
This is what I'm gonna say.
Why are you all that dumb ass shit?
So leave him the first time he lies.
The first time he lies.
You know, I could be a little, you know,
the first time he lied, maybe the second time.
I be, I would've ignored it.
Yeah, cause I probably did lie to the foot.
Start therapy early.
Hey, nope, I just feel like when I was 25,
30 therapy was for crazy people.
You know, you, yeah, but I didn't, you know,
I didn't realize that I was crazy back then.
So I would've, I wish somebody would've been like,
yeah, go to therapy.
That's a real thing that can help you.
Cause maybe I would've listened.
I said my mom was mean last week that said,
the only difference between me and my mom is that
I know I have a mental illness.
I sent that to my mom and she did not think that she was funny.
We talked about it on Sunday.
She was like, you sent me that.
I see anything it was funny.
I thought it was hilarious.
She did not say, she was mad about that shit.
Like, still don't know she got mental illness.
That's the mental, mental illness right there.
You're not thinking you got one, right?
The first step is acknowledging the problem.
Yes, imagine like that was me emitting.
Okay, like, yes, me, you are very much alike a lot.
The only difference is I got self-awareness of my bullshit.
That's it.
She like it.
Your, your friends will change.
Hey, he was already changing.
Yeah.
Uh, let's see.
Don't post everything online.
That is that, that's a big one.
Because I got some pictures online.
If they ever come out, I want to even say what the handle was.
Back in 1999 to 2000, like, young as fuck.
Yes, I got some shit out there that I hope never turns up.
I feel like I scrubbed the internet pretty well.
But what I did learn even about place like my space,
like, you can't even log in no more.
Like, you don't own none of that shit.
None of your images, nothing.
I don't really think I was, I think I was pretty conscious about.
That might be some shit I said that I might not would have popped up.
I don't remember.
But like, pictures and stuff like that.
No, I was very, that might be some home videos out of me with a big eye.
I don't want to show up nowhere.
What I mean, that would have been shit you sent to somebody and they sharing it.
No, I made some home videos.
But you put them online?
Oh, no.
That's what I'm saying.
It's like, don't post.
So yeah, along with don't post everything online.
Don't be sending these niggas your body.
Right.
OK.
Get the cock shot though, because that should.
That will save you a lot of time or at least crop your head out.
Right.
Invest and set a splurging that's kind of along the line as saving some 20% of it.
You are not behind.
OK.
Definitely not at 25, but you also don't have as much time as you think.
Yeah.
I wish somebody would have.
I feel like I might have hustled backwards, right?
I was so eager to like get a job and start making money like I didn't do.
I didn't want to be a broke college student like that is just something you got to go
through.
Yeah.
Because what's going to happen is you're going in up 30, not finish the fucking degree.
Right.
And be trying to go back and do shit all over again.
So just go through, go through the thing.
Stop dating from the teacher.
Yeah.
B.
I would have ignored it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
You don't know anything.
You're just, you're just the whole bitch.
You're just the whole bitch.
He'll, he'll, he'll heal before you're next relationship.
Now I'm still a little, a little hopper.
Now, because why I would have ignored it.
I ignored now.
Because why?
What the fuck are we waiting for?
Especially the older I get, the less time I'm waiting.
Shit.
Who's next?
Yeah.
Not now anyway.
Because I am in a relationship.
But for sure, like, but even this relationship versus the last one, it was a weekend.
Okay.
He was a weekend apart.
Nobody was trying to be playing around like I remember my homeboy was like, oh, you, you
move on fast.
Like why would not?
Men always got a nigga, a bitch in the pocket somewhere and maybe a nigga too.
Okay.
But men always go next.
Yes, he is.
He's Jason.
Exactly.
Definitely in the pocket.
Let me get this straight.
You and Italy.
Ciao.
Pretend it to be the white Italian man's fiance.
Hard to believe.
This is Michael.
My nephew.
One job.
No.
Then you ended up catching feelings for the black Italian cousin brothers.
Maple tap.
She came for the pasta and got lost in the sauce.
Please just tell me that you support me.
No.
Is he fine though?
Come on baby.
Look at this.
Pray you love me baby.
You be in touch today.
Pretty bitchy 13.
Only Peter's Maple tap.
Maybe inappropriate for children under 13.
The weight was worth it.
Positive affirmations and all the hard work.
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Of course it's a theme because you're always doing the most.
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Don't forget to put it in the group chat.
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Take your health serious now.
Okay.
I got my mom is trying to do all this holistic stuff.
She's seven.
She's trying to do all this holistic shit that I've been trying to get her to do for years.
She's trying to do it now at 70.
So if you started 25, you won't have to be consciously struggling,
even at 30, 40, right,
to unlearn a lot of the eating habits,
all that shit,
like take your health serious today,
because this,
you only got one body.
For real.
Right.
One body.
Use a condom.
I know I'd be right here.
Talk about smash your rod,
shipping.
We know y'all asked.
Don't be going to the doctor.
So use a condom bitch.
Oh,
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't understand why people don't want to use it.
No skin.
The skin condoms.
Those feel pretty nice.
Yeah.
Like SKY and skin.
And you can sleep peacefully.
And I have to use a condom like.
Yes.
You don't have to worry about the next period.
You're not worried about, like,
what kind of test?
Right.
Come back.
You're not worried about the next period.
You're not worried about, like,
what kind of test?
Right.
Right.
Come back.
More peacefully.
I don't see why people don't do it.
Like, I got tested just last week.
And still is like nerve wrecking.
Right.
Waiting for these test results.
Right.
Even when you end a monogamous relationship.
Like, should just be going down.
You don't know who got wetly and dormant wear.
Right.
So you have to be responsible for your body.
Do not let these niggas put your life in their hands.
Right.
Not everybody deserves access to you.
That's friends, family, men, right.
Start a business now.
I always would say like get a business loan instead of a student loan.
But you're going to make it hard for you to get a business loan anyway.
But if you got decent credit.
Like right now, if you like 20, go ahead and fuck it up and get all the shit you want.
So you can have everything and your credit be good by 30.
Again.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like if somebody would have told me that I would have really strategically fucked my credit up at 20.
Instead of doing like freely slow bullshit like buying rings from K jewelry.
Just dumb shit.
What my credit and not paying for it.
I would have strategically fucked my credit up.
Mm hmm.
Had a house car all that shit.
Early twins.
And would have been good would have been good by you know, seven years.
Right.
Your job is not your identity.
Oh yeah.
I think some women need to hear that now.
A lot of women need to hear that now.
A lot of people need to hear that right now.
Mm hmm.
Because that's why I can't stand what somebody asked me what you do.
I breathe for a living.
That's what I do.
Don't be trying to get.
L.A. is the worst about that.
That's the first thing one to know about you.
They don't even want to know your name.
But I feel like an L.A.
Like they will need to know where it would part of town you live in.
And what you do so they can know how they should treat you.
And how to finesse you.
If they need you or not.
Yeah.
Trying to determine if they need you or should you even be around them?
Right.
To dance is no.
You don't need me and I don't need to be around you.
Just go with that when you fuck with me.
Travel but don't go broke doing it.
I need nobody to send me that shit.
Fuck them bill.
Go.
I need nobody to send me that shit.
Wow.
And yeah.
So that was fun.
Yeah.
I wish.
I want my.
My.
My goddaughter's mom when she was graduate from high school.
She had text me and asked me.
Like what would I tell my daughter?
You know.
If my goddaughter was my kid like what would I be telling her?
Whatever.
I gave her a lot of.
A lot of good things.
And someone that shit is on here.
Like get.
Get the fuck a suit alone.
Get the business loan instead of the suit alone.
All this shit.
We said today.
Yeah.
Keep your aggressor minimum.
A lot of this stuff.
I actually wrote to my goddaughter.
Where she graduated from high school.
She has a baby now.
She has a career though.
So she's a.
She does.
She isn't.
She's a nail tech.
So she got her own little business going.
So that's good.
But you know, you know that saying youth is wasted on the young.
It's so true because they don't know what to do with it.
And the knowledge that you get as you grow old.
If you had it when you was young, you would be more responsible with your youth.
And I think that's what this episode.
If you are listening and you are much younger.
Take heat of the things that we're saying.
And please apply them to your life.
It's going to make it much better when you grow old.
You know, you know, and most of us will get to.
So you don't want to be like, damn, I shouldn't listen to them.
We talked back just 10 years ago.
And you are not supposed to know everything at 25.
No.
Okay.
You're supposed to make mistakes, you know.
But no enough to know you don't know shit.
And try to get some of the knowledge.
Right.
This is all your self in a better position and all the aspects of life from love, finances, all this shit, just get as much information as you can.
Surround yourself by smart people.
If you the smartest person, you know, bitch, you dumb.
Right.
Okay.
Surround yourself with some smart people.
That is my last last.
And just keep doing your best.
If you are here doing your best, that's enough.
Honestly.
But it's enough like some days your best is just existing and that's okay, you know?
That's what I mean like for real like some days we get like our day we don't get nothing done.
We could have a laundry list of shit to do and nothing happens and it's still okay because sometimes you just can't, you know.
Don't beat yourself up about it.
The next day start over and take that list again.
Yeah, man.
That's my life.
All right, y'all.
Y-H's.
If you enjoyed this episode, y'all tune in every Thursday in the black effect eye heart radio app.
Or wherever the fuck you get your podcast at is your co-host AJ holiday 2.0 on Instagram.
It's a long ass episode.
We can make this too. We cut it in half.
Right.
But you know what?
Not to forget the old ends and the old edges.
We love y'all too.
Let's bring it to this information that you probably already.
And we still struggling with.
Yeah.
She's someone.
Still got that same man.
Still got that same friend.
Still got the same insecurities and still fat.
Just still.
We love you anyway.
Thank you for tuning in.
It's the picture tab below Instagram.
Y'all follow me there.
Remember, speak now.
And never hold your youth.
Period.
That makes sense?
No.
Bye.
Bye.
We talk back podcast.
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