Why Sydney Sweeney Has Two Big Targets On Her Chest - William Costello - #1152

0:00People of the UK and Ireland, I'm coming to you live. Imagine that. Me on stage in your city. Dublin is completely sold out, but everywhere else has got limited tickets left and you can get yours now at chriswoliamson.live. This is a custom-built live show. I absolutely adore it. I've spent over a year working on it. So if you're a fan of everything modern wisdom, come and see me on stage this October around the UK and Ireland. Chris Woliamson. Dot live. I feel like I bring you in when there is a evolutionary psychology-informed, furo-happening. And obviously our third guest today, Sydney Swini, has a big, natural pair of problems that she's embroiled herself in. Before we get into that, can you just make it known? What was that feminism-feminist award that your research team won a while ago? A while ago, I myself won an award, the Feminist Evolutionary Psychology Society FEPPS award for a poster I did at a conference a couple of years ago, but it's nice to have that in

1:03the back pocket when I'm accused of sexism or whatever. Not that that happens that often. It is me flagrantly putting your legitimate feminist bonafidees out there ahead just in case we get shouted at today. So look, for the people that didn't see it, Sydney Swini did an ad for a betting company called No Big Sports betting company, prediction market, adjacent thing, but it's exclusively for sports. And she does not, and I guess we probably should start off by watching the ad. Yeah. It's good research purposes. Yeah. Thinking of sports? Prove it. No big airs. Just sports. So they wanted a show. Just sports. You can try this sport. And this sport. How about this? Sport too. Or this? Sports.

2:03Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports. You can't trade this. I just look in here. Nobody on wars. Or deaths. And no politics. Just you. Your takes on sports. Yeah. So the internet responded as in the most predictable way, I think, like anyone that's surprised, who can call out that there seems to be some double standards going on here, that it's not reflective of what was actually meant, that they're pointing that eye or in the wrong direction. There is nothing surprising to me about that. Were you surprised at all? No, I mean, she has a significant stake in this company. So she wants it to be a success. It's obviously geared towards young men. They're the target market for any sports betting company. So she understands the oldest maximum in advertisement or marketing that sex sells.

3:03And she backs herself on that front to be the face or body of the her own brand. Heros. You know, it makes sense. But hearing some of the backlash, I mean, I heard an Irish radio presenter. I can't think of his name. But he claimed that she in 40 seconds has set female sport back 40 years. And I hear that. And I think what an incredibly sexist low kind of view of female sports. Well, that's so tenuously held in popularity that a girl with big titties is able to undo it in an ad. All undone with cleavage. Yeah. So that's ridiculous. That's absurd. Yeah. To suggest it, especially when there's other bigger issues, threatening female sports, and that leads to a very interesting. Very interesting that nobody has an issue identifying who the women in sports are during this conversation. Absolutely. Yeah. And these commentators were presumably silent about the trans women in sports issue as well.

4:04Yeah. The New York Times had this piece where one of the quotes, the reason Sydney Swini's advertisement has infuriated so many women in sport is that if there is a group that has managed to genuinely force change in the perception of what women are capable of since the tone of the century of what it means to be a strong and powerful woman to be a girl without prostrating to the male gaze. It is women in sport. Pretty good reply to that. It's pretty amazing to watch them suddenly pretend to be offended by risk A images. These people have insisted for years that the full-blown prostitution of women is legitimate and empowering. They've adopted countless graphical sexual female rap and pop songs as anthems for their movement. Now a naked woman in advertisement is setting women back, not even the slightest attempt to be consistent. I do think that one of the first things people saw was, hang in a second, I thought it was my body, my choice. I thought empowerment and the sexual revolution was something that was giving women freedom as opposed to taking it away. Most of these commentators will probably be pro sex work, pro only fans.

5:05They'll certainly be pro female financial independence. And I didn't notice until today, Sydney Swini isn't an ambassador to that company. She is an owner. Yeah. Not owns that company. So she has legitimate skin in the game and upside enticement, justification for doing it. She is profiting from every single one of these. So yeah, it does seem like the modern conception of what a desirable woman is supposed to be is kind of coming into conflict with, yeah, but we don't want you to do it that way. Yeah. If you're the wrong person, the very same act of self-sexualization can be seen as empowering if it's the right person in the in group in your tribe. But if it's someone who's coded as in any way right wing or even just not sufficiently woke for one of a better word, then the same behaviors are kind of criticized. You know, and it's remarkable how puritanical and conservative some of the criticism has

6:09been, how sex negative it's been as soon as it's just targeted, put your fucking clothes back on. Who do you think you are? Yeah. Very strange. I'm trying to like steal man the case for why this is bad. It's kind of hard to do because it seemed like this weird, raw shark test that I failed were lots of people that had a problem with it seemed to assume that Sydney Swini was saying, this is what women's sports is like as opposed to this is a gambling app and you should go and use it regardless of the gender of the person that's playing the sport. Yeah. And then also the double standard of literally last week there were viral videos going where the tennis player, the Spanish guy, taken out of his shirt and women literally the camera panning over to them, taking out their phones, they're like, marry women. Yeah. You're getting ready. You're getting ready. As you do congratulations by the way, Williams, Williams engaged everybody, give him a round of applause. There we go. You fucking made it out dude, you got to skate velocity. Yeah, out of the infer life phone, infer life, I did no longer me for.

7:14Well, you are not yet, not until you made it down the aisle. But yeah, very strange to see that and then a lot of the pushback is trying to steal man it. The reason I struggle is that a lot of the pushback was you are saying something about women's sports as opposed to you are saying something about women in gambling. I don't quite get even the you are setting women back in sports thing because ESPN has done a naked issue over and over. There's like countless examples. Ronda Rousey was naked on the front cover of it. Serena Williams, Ovenus Williams was naked on the front cover of it. There was a chick that I saw a blonde girl with a full back piece. I look in real strong with an amputated leg and a prosthetic limb climbing naked. There was an entire Megan Rapinoe did it. The female soccer player from America. There was this entire lineup. It might have been, was it the female USA team were all naked back to back and you go, okay, so what is going on here?

8:14And then the thing that really struck me, basically women have done everything they can in sports to avoid the male gaze or to escape the male gaze. That was the one that was the most insane. The only reason anyone is watching female sports is because of the male gaze. Like who is the biggest consumer of female sports? Men. Men by miles. Yeah. By miles. Yeah. So to steal man, the argument you could make the claim that it's okay for female athletes to self-sexualize themselves. If a byproduct of their being in the sport is cultivating a very sexy body, they can themselves can use that to attract people to watch the sport. I would be argued that Sydney Swini is trivializing women's sport. That grounds are just plain old tribalism, but I do think there's something deeper going on. Well, she's not pretending to be a sports star. And to steal man, okay, let's say that she's wearing the outfit, right? She's got the, she's got the kit on. So it's off largely, but some of it is on. And therefore, she's lapping as a sports star of some kind.

9:18Let's say that that's the case. It's okay, but still the priority of the ad is not around her playing sports. It's around the gambling. So if you were a sports star like LeBron, I think, did he do Calci a polymarket reason? I think he did polymarket. And if we found out that LeBron is somebody that you could bet on, wasn't betting, you got, ah, well, he's misrepresenting the illustrious community of betters out there, the gambling people. I think the general. He's not being, he's not sufficiently representative. So, okay, but like that is, I'm like nitpicking because I want to like try and point out some of the hypocrisy. Like, is there any way really to quantify if Sydney Swini is damaging the perception of female athletes are setting them back 100 years? Like, how could that even happen? Yeah, like extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence that they're very flippant with these massive claims. And like I say, it's a low opinion of women's sport and how far it's come. I'm from Ireland, one of our greatest athletes of all time, Katie Taylor, selling out Cro Parc, one of the best female boxers of all time.

10:20I don't think her achievements are undone now by Sydney Swini. Like that's just a preposterous claim. And, yeah, it's just, I'm sorry. And it's kind of like the fixation on these micro topics. Another example that's kind of somewhat related is at home in Ireland, Michael O'Leary, he's gotten trouble recently for some flippant comments in the media. He's the owner of Ryanair and he's always very kind of outspoken in the media. And he described other airlines prices as raping the consumer lately. And, you know, crisis organizations are just up in arms about this. And he won't apologize and they're demanding he apologizes and he won't. He says, no, it's no laughing matter. It's a, you know, I just used that word to describe a terrible thing what they're doing. I don't demean the actual crime. And just in the same week that they're fixating on that, a girl in my hometown of Galway,

11:20their stories about her having been ganged by two migrants and total silence on that, for on that story. And it feels like, yeah, it feels like their focus on the wrong thing. It's the same with the sport and the trans athletes, like where was your outrage then? Yeah, I do think that the counterreaction we're seeing could be more damaging to women than the ad itself. Women are being made to look in a month-long period where they've already been kind of emotional and hysterical in some corners of the internet with Lindsey Clancy. They're not looking that serious now. They're looking quite emotional. Would it have been better? Question. Would it have been better if it was a female athlete who was hot and right-wing coded adjacent still, like Sophie Cunningham. You know who that is? Tall blond, like quite hot girl that plays basketball. Six foot four, probably. And she did a thing, I think, at the UFC. I think she's come out against sort of trans athletes. She definitely presents as right-coded. She's at all of those sorts of events.

12:22If she'd done it, I don't think that the pushback would have been much less. It would have been different, but it would have been much less. It would have been about the sexualization of sports. The legitimacy angle wouldn't have been sort of laughed at, but I still think that that would have been heavily pushed back against. Yeah, I think you're right. It just zeroes in on the tribal psychology that's activated. It's okay when one of our group does it. It's not okay if someone who hasn't expressed their bonafides of the ideology enough, then it's not okay. All right. I've laid out the cultural landscape as best I can. I brought you in so that you can explain psychologically what's going on. So if the evolutionary underpinnings of how intersectional competition, female co-illational psychology, all of that stuff works in order to cause this to happen and to keep happening, because it happened last time with the American Eagle. I'm sure it'll happen again in future as she just continues to basically use other people's eye as exit liquidity for her own bank account, which is kind of hilarious.

13:24So why do women hate Sidney Swini? So there are two big reasons why women hate Sidney Swini. No. There are three evolutionary psychology ideas that are central to my take on why Sidney Swini specifically incurs so much iron from women in particular. So the three concepts that we go through are intersectional competition, which probably heard a lot of people talk about in this context, sexual economic theory, and the overlapping concept of female co-illational psychology. So their group psychology, how they make friendships, and how that's different to men's. So the first one, intersectional competition, it's pretty straightforward. Once you know the mate preferences of each sex, that sets the ground rules for the zones of conflict and for the terms of intersectional competition. So the types of things that each men and women get jealous or insecure or anxious about, rivals are rivals that embody the mate preferences of their preferred sex.

14:28So men get jealous and insecure and anxious around rich, formidable men who embody the preferences of women. I have a hypothesis that men get jealous around funny men, which I call the green-eyed giggle hypothesis, but maybe we can put a pin in that and come back to it later. But women are shown in the research to get jealous about younger, younger looking and more beautiful women, which are the key preferences of men. So Sydney Swini obviously is very, very attractive young woman, but there are lots of attractive young women. So why Sydney Swini specifically? The reason is that she aggressively prostrates herself or kind of presents herself as appealing specifically to the male gaze without first coming in and kind of assuring all the other women that she's not a threat, that she's not doing it for men, that she is actually specifically coming out and saying, I am for the male gaze, but Instagram posts up saying this is for

15:29the boys, all of this. And that just queues a threat to other women. If you think in terms of our evolution psychology, why women evolved an intersectional competition style of being kind of more quiet about it. So do Sydney Swini violates all those norms. Women are meant to compete. It's very costly for women to make enemies. Throughout ancestral history, they are responsible for the well-being of their offspring. So if they die, if they incur physical violence, their offspring likely dies as well. Whereas for men, they can get into physical alterations and it's not as direct of a threat to their fitness. So this led to the selection of kind of social adeptness in women who are very good at kind of indirect competition. So if you're going to compete with another woman, you need to, you can't be so direct

16:31about it. It's not overt. It's much more covert. It's much more subliminal. Yeah. But when you're advocating what, I actually that'd be interesting. What is it that tends to be attacked in women against women and in men against men? So women use things like feigning concern about another woman so that they're not seen as having a tactor. It's seen out of, oh, the goodness of my heart. I'm looking out for your well-being or something. They will attack things. They'll derogate stuff that represents their, the woman's mate value to men. So specifically with Sydney Swini, you see a lot of women online saying, it's not intracexual competition. It's not jealousy. She just seems like the type of girl who would steal your boyfriend. And that's literally signaling to all the other women, this girl, you know, makes herself appealing to the male gaze so aggressively and so directly without concern for what women think. It prioritizes the male priority over our group priority.

17:34She has to pay a cost from the sisterhood from the group now. So she will in terms of coordinated condemnation, we all shun her. But also you're telling other men, you think that this blonde attractive girl with big boobs is your dream partner. But what I'm telling you is because of the way that she's presenting her fecundity, her level of loyalty to you isn't going to be what you dream of being the bad boy that she's just a good girl for, but she's a bad girl for everybody. And you don't want to be with that. It's like implicitly diminishing her long term mate value and implying she has short term mate value only, which most women don't want to only appeal to men's short term mating psychology. Well, what's interesting is guys will say to another guy, when shit talking to another guy, like you're a pussy, they'll say something about his level of femininity, something about his level of sort of status. He's a bum. Yeah. Well, like to is what his prospect to like for the future. Whereas women, if they are shit talking, which will tend to be behind the scenes, as opposed

18:36to someone's face. But if they are doing that, it's going to much more be about this girl's sort of sexual morality. Also about their looks. She's getting old. She can't do her hair. She's up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up. Because those are two of the things that men really care about what does a girl, what does a woman look like. And is she going to be loyal? Yeah. So the key thing is that Sydney Swini has pretty aggressively and vocally signaled to other women and to men that she is prioritizing men over the group, women as a group. So women are punishing her for that. And they organize this coordinated condemnation that she's out. She must pay a social cost for doing that. The other key idea that's kind of relevant and kind of similar is the idea of sexual economics theory. And the idea there is that if you think about sex or sexual access as a resource, there is different levels of cost that men typically have to pay to get it. And the highest cost is marriage and commitment, or in the lowest cost is promiscuous short-term

19:41sex. And women kind of as a group, they're kind of like the cartel with the cost of sex. They have to kind of police each other on who's offering it for what. So women might really feel annoyed about what Sydney Swini is doing and think, oh, if she's appealing to the men so specifically in doing exactly what men want instead of what women want, then maybe I have to do that too. Because if everyone in your town or in your village starts doing that, then that will become the expectation for you. So that plays into it a little bit too. Yeah. The price enforcement mechanism of slut shaming is basically the same thing. If we're to women and I give out blood jobs on the second date, but you don't give them out until the sixth date, I have a degree of competitive advantage in the marketplace. Therefore, it's in your interests. If you want to keep the price of sex to be expensive, it's in your interests to enforce a shame mechanism on anyone that is too freely giving with their sex because that means that

20:41they need to raise the price. It's opposed to lowering the price. That means you don't want to be beaten to the jump. I had this theory a long time ago that the price enforcement mechanism for slut shaming is the same thing. The equivalent for men is the price enforcement mechanism for simping shaming. Women are giving away sex without commitment and men are giving away commitment without sex. I think that this is so beautifully mirrored. It's really nice when we see this. Guys will call another guy a simp because if you withhold loyalty and resources until a woman gives you sexual access, that means she has to give you sexual access in order for you to trade off your loyalty and resources, which means if some guy is prepared to give loyalty and resources without sex, the price of your loyalty and resources is immediately brought down. If you don't like the example, talking about sex and blow jobs and stuff on a second date, sometimes rubs people up the wrong way. If you don't like that example, just invert it, make it about loyalty and resources, and you go, okay, it's the same dynamic. It's just a little bit less achy. We see this in sex ratio research, when the scarcer sex in any sex ratio in a city or a country, they have more bargaining power.

21:43They have more power to get what they want on the mating market, and they have higher standards for their mate preferences, and they also shift a sexual strategy. So when men are scarce, men and women shift to a more promiscuous short term mating strategy, when women are scarce and they're the rare commodity, they have greater bargaining power in that sex ratio, amazing ecology, then men become more commitment oriented. So it's a pretty well established finding. This episode is brought to you by Woop. Most people treat recovery like it's optional, but unlike politicians, data doesn't lie. How you recover is literally going to determine how good your next day is going to be. Woop tracks all of it. Sleep, strain, heart rate, recovery. It's like dog the bounty hunter, but instead of criminals, it's tracking down your bad habits. All of this data gets pulled into a dashboard that actually tells you what to do with the information. And now the brand new Woop 5.0, 7 cents smaller, it's got two weeks of battery life, shows you how fast you're actually aging. It comes with hormonal insights for women managing their cycle or pregnancy or men hiding from it. Once you see the patterns, you start making better decisions.

22:46It's that simple. Best of all, you can join for free, pay nothing for your Woop 5.0 strap plus you get your first month for free and there's a 30 day money back guarantee. So you can buy it for free, try it for free. If you don't like it after 29 days, they just give you your money back. Right now you can get the brand new Woop 5.0 and that 30 day free trial by going to the link in the description below or heading to join.woop.com slash modern wisdom. That's join.woop.com slash modern wisdom. What about say more on the indirect competition, so egalitarianism side of coalitional psychology for women? So women have evolved tendencies. Tendencies were selected for like leveling, preferring that there is no contest that we share the prize. Women are uneasy about taking credit for a victory. They prefer to play down their achievements whereas men, they actually, they love there to be rules of the game. Even from very young ages, men and boys need there to be a winner and a loser. You need to keep score during the game or it's no good.

23:48And this has come through in the work of Joyce Penenson, Marianne Fisher, Tanya Reynolds. It's pretty well established that this is fundamental differences in how men and women compete and what they prefer. So Sydney Swini is kind of coming in, well guns blazing, saying I'm going to compete aggressively and prioritize what men want without prostrating herself and saying, oh I'm one of the girls. So take the opposite example is someone like Sabrina Carpenter who self-sexualizes a lot but aggressively signals that she's kind of a more team girl. She's a girls girl and she writes songs about men being man child, all of this stuff. She's very obviously signaling that she's doing it for girls. What was that tweet that we had that was a quote tweet of someone calling out why it is that women hate Sydney Swini, hate Sydney Swini but loves Sabrina Carpenter.

24:48So this is Sydney Swini with the football balance on the back of a boots naked line on a bench and Sabrina Carpenter on the front cover of Rolling Stone in a pair of thigh high stockings. And it says Sabrina superstar. Sydney Swini is a putter and Sabrina Carpenter is a diva pop. And the quote here is the differences that Sabrina does it because she feels good about herself doing it, not encompassing our gender in hyper sexualization for male pleasure. That is literally saying one is for the girls, the other is for the boys. Even though boys will enjoy it just all the fame pretty much. Yeah, yeah, yeah, click right. Yeah, exactly. The difference is one is clearly for male attention, the other is country. It's pretty obvious. Sabrina Carpenter, Kate is the female gaze and takes pride in the sexuality. Swastika Swini, Kate is the male gaze and wants men to validate her sexuality. I mean, it's just it's like clearly a man's brain believes that everything is the same. Sabrina is sexualizing herself and it is in the world of art and entertainment when nudity is relatively normal.

25:51Meanwhile, Sydney is promoting a campaign that denigrates female athletes this. No, it fucking doesn't of the two art forms one being gambling and the other being art and entertainment. Certainly, if you want to say that is so derogating to arts and entertainment to say, oh yeah, you're at the you're in the same league as gambling. Yeah, and also, so if you self-sexualize to fight the patriarchy and that's why you say you're doing it, then that's fine and believed for the girls. If you don't, if you don't signal to the female group that you're one of them and you care about their concerns. And that's another key thing is women must very vocally signal to other women that they care about the concerns they have as well and signal that they're an empathetic caring person. So Sydney Swini has never come out and aggressively fought the patriarchy. She's not signaled about Palestine or whatever the you know causes that women are caring about a lot at the time. In fact, she's done quite the opposite and she's kind of signaled that she cares about things men care about.

26:54Yeah. And that can be seen as leaving women as vulnerable because the things men care about sometimes can leave women exploited. So maybe that's how they feel towards her. Yeah, there was this step for me, a girl who wrote a really interesting tweet that said Sydney Swini is the funniest stress test feminism has ever encountered. Because I thought it was the patriarchy that reduces women to their bodies to nice them individual agency and imposes rules on female sexuality. Based on what everyone else thinks women ought to be. Meanwhile, Sydney is independently wealthy, produces her own projects, owns businesses, chooses to monetize her own sexuality, gains power from doing it, and appears completely uninterested in anyone's permission. And somehow the feminist response is thousands of women materializing to explain that her body is actually a collective political resource and she has a responsibility to use it in ways they approve of because otherwise she's set in women back 100 years fucking law. So congratulations ladies. You defeated the patriarchy by becoming an enormous decentralized committee of women policing another woman's sexuality,

27:56scolding her for appealing to men and replying and reminding her the individual choices must remain subordinate to what is best for women as a class. Perhaps the funniest part is that the men supposedly enforcing this grand patriarchal system are mostly standing after the side like Sydney seems great, let a cook. While the feminist liberation committee is furiously drafting new regulations for what she's allowed to do with her own gigantic knockers. Incredible operation you guys are fucking killing it. Extremely boss babe, very liberation no notes. Yeah, absolutely. It's pure tanical in style policing the sexuality exactly like I said with sexual economic theory, it all hangs hangs together nicely. Yeah. Why is it? I guess the the shared prizes thing in the downplaying people might not necessarily realize that like women are celebrated when they have accomplishments, but they tend to not be so celebrated by themselves. The best example that I can think of is when in school girls used to get good grades and we would receive them in a class or whatever if they got if they'd scored really well or they were at the top of the class or immediately.

28:59Oh, you know, I just got lucky. It wasn't me. So very humble in a way, but what's the just why is that the case? Why would they not want to have their accomplishments self promoted at least? Well, given that it was so important for them to stay alive and not make enemies throughout ancestral history, the tall poppy syndrome of not wanting to show that you're above anyone else or that you considered yourself above the other women. It's a way of kind of ingratiating yourself to the other girls by saying, I'm not a threat. I'm one of you. I'll prioritize the group over myself as an individual. But yeah, you see it all the time. The first thing women do when they meet each other is tell each other how beautiful they look and then deny how beautiful they look. Oh, would you stop? No, I've gained so much weight. I don't. I look terrible like you, nothing like you. Even in their Instagram posts, you see it back and forth. And another thing is in self disclosure. So when women share negative information about each other and you see this on Colorado. And the podcast allowed actually where women are kind of encouraged to share some embarrassing story about, oh, what a horror I was in college or whatever it might be.

30:07And it's done to put the other girls at ease and make them feel better about themselves. And if you noticed that in a female group, if one woman doesn't do that, declines the offer, the invitation to share something negative about herself, she will be shunned. She will be seen as oh, she's too full of herself. She has, she's violated the code of, oh, I've shared something negative about myself. Now, you do. Absolutely. Yeah. So it's all to make sure not know one person. Women are actually quite groupish in that way in their coalitions, psychology, they're kind of very consensus oriented. They don't like norm violators. And that's what you're seeing here. Yeah, it is really fascinating to think about how much this is women. Women policing the sort of behavior and body of someone that could have been sort of standing for their cause because when you read off the litany of things, self-powered entrepreneur, sexuality out there like for the boys.

31:08Yeah. Like, you know, there's soft bigotry of male expectations idea that I've got, which is that there is a certain class of girlboss feminism that struggles to think about female empowerment in any other way than kind of classic high status maleness that like it's got lots to say about the breadwinner and the hunter and the CEO and surprisingly little to say about the mother and the carer and the homemaker. Yeah. Okay. Well, that if you were to create an alab the canonical sexual liberation fueled CEO type that is into sports, it would be yeah, Sydney, sweetie. Yeah. And it's kind of an example of gamma bias as well when the gendered nature of something is Sean a light on you see this with it's kind of like a heteropestimism. Basically, Sydney, sweetie appeals to male sexual psychology. Therefore, it's problematic. Whereas if she appeals for her own female sexuality, that's fine. I'm writing a paper at the moment called the mismeasurement of men and it's all about scales that seek to kind of pathologize men about sexual entitlement sexism or toxic masculinity.

32:12And so many of the items that they use to measure these attitudes in men are absurd things like if that if a woman said them, it would be seen as fantastic and celebratory. So for example, I deserve to have my sexual needs gratified by my partner. If a woman said that, she would be applauded and seen as or fighting for closing the orgasm gap and yes, you get it. Whatever, whereas if men do it, it's seen as sexual entitlement. So it's another example is we're discussing benevolent sexism the other day. And I brought up the example of well, women are benevolent sexism is basically kind of infantilizing women by liking them in such a way and pedestalizing them that makes them infantilized. So for example, taking doing everything for them so they never learn how to do and then themselves. That's the argument. Whereas you'd never reverse that argument and say, well, a woman enjoying cooking every day for her husband and doesn't let him cook.

33:16Is she infantilizing him when he's the benefactor of her benevolent sexism, he would actually be described as weaponizing incompetence. Whereas you never when women are weaponizing incompetence and the benefactors of men's benevolent sexism, they're the victims. That's men are the morally typecast as we know from research from tenure annals, they're always morally typecast as the aggressor, the wrongdoer. And you kind of see that with heteropestimism too. Anything that celebrates heterosexual male sexuality is morally suspect in a way that other sexuality isn't. If you're going to spend an hour in the gym, you might as well look hard and feel comfortable while you're doing it. And honestly, who wants to be in the background of a TikTok is highlight reel dressed like a chump. Gymshark makes some of the best men's and women's training gear on the planet. And something that I realized a few years ago is that when you actually like what you're wearing in the gym, you show up differently, you train harder, you stay longer and get way more high fives. Hybrid shorts are my go-to. They are the perfect length, super lightweight, easy to wash and dry, and they're sleeveless t-shirts that I've trained in every day for basically the last decade. They're the ideal fit, they're breathable, they hold their shape perfectly, no more looking like Adam Sandler's your stylist.

34:29Basically, everything they make is unbelievably well designed. You already know about them, the high quality, you get 30 days of free returns globally with global shipping and attempt scent discount sight wide. So get the attempt scent discount by going to the link in the description below, heading to gym.sh slash modern wisdom and using the code modern wisdom 10, a checkout that's gym.sh slash modern wisdom and modern wisdom 10. A checkout. It's an interesting turn of the last sort of three decades when you think about Freddie Youngberg. Remember that ads that he did was at Calvin Klein. I'm pretty sure there were women running after the bus for him chasing him down and he was worried and he needed to get security. David Beckham, David Gandhi. You know, we're talking about classic man men David. Chris Williamson, Frank Cooper, lots of dark role man's novels. But you know, that the sexualization of the diet co-cad. Yeah, right. Like is anybody asking to repeal this primitive perspective of the male form.

35:32So one interesting thing for me is why is it the case that men if this ad had been done by a guy or if it was an ad for something that was female coded because obviously we're trying to get men attracted to gambling here. So a guy taking his kid off would probably not be very good for it unless it was like adjacent to grinder. What? What would be the reaction if a man did that for men do you think and why is it so different for women pushing back against like if a guy was built and buff and being said like the diet co-cad if that rolled back again. So I think men just don't mind being sexualized in the way women do because it's not a scary to men. I know you see maybe the tin men sometimes gets up in arms about the Facebook groups of hot guys hot dudes reading. I think most men would be delighted to be featured there because I'm just really reading books in public all the time in an attempt to try to be.

36:33Yeah, you're eventually yeah, but it yeah being sexualized is not as big of a problem to men as it is for women and they're much more likely to be victims of sexual violence and you cannot maybe perhaps understand why so I think that's why if we saw someone being sexualized to sell a product we'd see it as aspirational we'd be like I've got to get my ass in the gym and I think also envy works differently for men and women men see it as kind of motivating. Whereas women kind of internalize it and feel that they're being put down yeah, why is it the think that women who are seen as guys girls are perceived with more mistrust. Yeah, so that's a specific piece of research from Sarah Hills lab led by Hannah Bradshaw and specifically when you describe a girl as being a guy's gal having more male friends than female friends women mistruster because they doubt the reasons for her doing that and given all the research we know about cross sex friendship and how often that activates mating psychology perhaps is good reason and if you think from an error management perspective your inference about someone who hangs around with you.

37:45And mostly with guys and those things that appeal to guys she may have a psychology that's going to prioritize their goals over women's goals. I'll just break down some of the DVD extra what the beach that so because because a lot of orbiting friendships that are of different sexes men and women end up evolving into is some huge percentage of close friends from opposite sex is wood sleep with their friend. And then some non zero number turn into relationships also there's a lot of evidence to suggest that this backup mates on both sides all of more for women than the rough man et cetera and also evidence that in terms of mate poaching one of the top tactics that made poachers use is to infiltrate the relationship through friendship first. So everyone knows that she's just a friend or he's just a friend until he's not so yeah so because if you have a girl that is around a lot of friends that a guys many of those guys some of those guys might be in relationships even if they're not she has a degree of understanding about their psychology of the very least a degree of access right just proximity straight up proximity is close enough to activate some of this which again is another one of those kind of hilarious hypocrisies which is women can work in an office and that should never be any confusion about.

39:01And then there's a lot of confusion about men and women being together or whatever but also at the same time there is an implied understanding that a woman that's around lots of men is probably going to have a degree of access and maybe be hit on in a manner that makes her sexual threat to you yes you understand what I mean or her psychology is going to be somewhat more similar to a man as well which may mean that she doesn't mind short term meeting right you'll often find that these women these guys gals they sometimes derogates the mainstream women as well for the say things that are not really like well I've never been able to have many female friends they're just too much drama not like me I'm not drama I'm totally drama free here and play Xbox with me and then fuck me which you can imagine for some men that I can be it's only advantageous of being gay without having to be gay it's like a covert strategy so you do see the intersectional competition playing out on both sides is that anything to say about the fact that Sydney Swini doesn't portray herself as a victim. Yeah that could be part of it because like I say that self disclosure of vulnerability and shared vulnerability I'm as vulnerable as you are I understand what it means to be vulnerable so I'm going to lobby for things to protect our collective interests as women she doesn't do any of that really although I did hear she made one film about reproductive rights about a none I think I might be fuzzy on the details but maybe that could save her reputation among women or she fell asleep.

40:26I'm just close to the story. What would have been interesting would have been if she'd said if there was this big narrative arc around how I was really uncomfortable about my body for a long time and it took a long time for me to get past that and now that I have transcended what previously held me back I am emancipated I'm emancipated I am finally liberated and free to be able to use my sexuality in a way that I couldn't do previously which sort of plays to you also small, but I can't see how I see women that wears brown and gray that doesn't seem to be seen by the world like you two may flourish and blossom into this wonderful big titty lady in future they get to pay. Yeah and I think she has come out with some of that stuff I have seen some interviews over saying she hates being sexualized sometimes but that's clearly clearly not that much. I mean, you really become like Stockholm syndrome for yourself is that's the case but she's more often come out with media stories like tanking her mom for convincing her to not get a boob reduction and things like that so that sends the opposite signal to women it's like oh I'm so glad I have these massive tans that I can cash in on I can at least you know

41:36good missiles here ladies and gentlemen yeah so it's like a brazen proud of something that women know appeal and also boob specifically they let's talk about boobs tell me about sure we can talk about boobs makes a change from talking about in fell first with boobs like I always say to my wife it's kind of like penises it's not like the bigger is always the better and you know she's come to accept that that's true so that's good and but it really is the case with boobs research very mixed evidence for the size that's deemed optimal but what's more consistent is the shape and the texture it's called the toss it the tosses of the breast so that describes basically the sagging and like in all elements of made preferences and evolutionary psychology the male preferences for beauty it's all about reproductive value so as women age and as they go through each pregnancy their boobs it kind of change in texture they sag their head down south so it's more about the firmness rather than the size per se but we do know that short term mating oriented men are and the reason why the that is basically the new ability hypothesis that basically you're looking for high reproductive value woman who hasn't long reproductive career ahead of her and hasn't had children yet already and the

43:00so that's a frank marlow that come up with that new ability hypothesis and that seems to be the consistent finding about boobs is that's the texture in the tosses rather than size per se but short term mating oriented men prioritize big boobs so that could be another part of the puzzle that's putting women off it we do know that women derogate big boob women as well a lot more than small boob women because it's probably queuing to them that this person is themselves a short term later even though there's no evidence that they may be themselves women perceive them that way and even if they aren't short term mating oriented themselves they know that men will perceive them a short term mating oriented use the short term mating strategy in the men around them exactly it's kind of interesting so I posted this research a little while ago that basically in a study of about 300 400 Norwegian men there was a bodily focused group that was both boobs and ass there was a ass only but there was no boobs only men there was none it was like you're either focused on both just the ass or not the boobs I don't know I

44:12surprised me to law of large numbers if you have enough men but at the very least it indicates that maybe in the current cultural climate the ass is being prioritized more interesting about the ass let me tell you about the ass what's interesting about the ass is that it is much easier to hide than boobs for women it's also in the back so as you walk towards somebody as you're talking to them it's not front and sentence also not at eye level and I wonder whether that is even if guys on average maybe this is across all of time let's say that that research would replicate throughout all of human history for all men heterosexual men that they were interested in the ass over the tits but even if that is the case it's so much more front and center you're like compensating for how much you might not be as much of a fan of it by just the shelf height you know what I mean like what is it I level is by level as they say in CPG and retail okay well I level is guy level for this one I suppose yeah and it kind of gives the impression you're emphasizing and rub it in their nose a little bit more

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46:19clancy case in comparison with what's going on with Sydney Swini so can I pretty bleak but the way I heard it described was what was it or your your booze mean nothing I've seen what makes you applaud yeah and that's to describe that a lot of women were sympathetic or even so you know towards lindsey clancy in the what do you think would have happened if it was this if lindsey clancy looked like Sydney Swini would women still have rallied around what do you reckon yeah I mean it's a pretty well known fact that juries are pretty biased around their in groups and the old you saying if the jury was filled with like big titty blondes they would have been like just free let it go not so much but it's pretty well known fact that in the OJ Simpson trial that because Nicole Simpson was a white blonde woman who was perceived as having stolen really resource rich successful black man in OJ Simpson the majority black female jury hated that and they just could not get any sort of sympathy for her as a victim at all so it's actually a big

47:26problem in juries that they're so tribal based on their own kind of in group so lindsey clancy may not have been threatening enough to them in terms of their mating psychology and and you know supporting her and giving group sympathy towards her issue was in women's self interest more than it is to celebrate Sydney Swini appealing to the male gaze have you seen any men pushing back against Sydney Swini only the Irish radio presenter yeah right which is kind of naturally a bit more posturing look at me and for you going back to boobs I wonder whether the unearned traits elements of this is part of the reason so I'm kind of fascinated about why men don't hate desirable men in the same way if you were to do an ad that was the equivalent for men that guy would not have a body that was an unearned trait right like just an inherent advantage that he was gifted

48:28basically I'm sure that Sydney Swini goes to the gym and has a trainer and probably follows a diet doesn't overeat and all the rest of the stuff but she's not got a body that at least obviously is you changed by tons and tons of work yeah right at least not in the same way that a man's body would be whereas a man's body you would say oh that he's really had to sort of grind for that and one of the really interesting takeaways I think you sent me this tweet that was explaining how ruthlessly reminiscent it is especially to women in a way that it isn't to men for male attractiveness that when you see a woman that is beautiful especially with big boobs like that's just straight up natural boot straight up natural genetic endowment and the effortlessness with which Sydney Swini sort of presents herself whether that's true or not the effortlessness that she presents herself with almost sort of rubs it in the face of women more and I think this is one of the differences between Sydney Swini and Sabrina Carpenter Sabrina Carpenter is a woman designed for the female and the gay like gay men loves Sabrina Carpenter it's this over the top like princess like there's lots of makeup she's always did I actually think that this is one of the

49:35reasons that if you watch a female chatty chatty podcast a lot of the time they won't be fully done up it'll be super slouchy oversized hoodie look at relatable this is me at my worst yeah but if you at your worst is Sydney Swini in her effortlessness present presentation of this what you're basically reminding a shit ton of women of is I am more desirable than you without having to work for it yeah this is how unfair the genetic spread is yeah and women with big boobs specifically talk about this all the time they other women accused them of big women in the comments we want to hear from you we're your team yeah of sticking them out they like accused them of all look why she's showing them off so much and they're just trying to live their life like you know it's like but the sex difference is interesting because men's attractiveness on most metrics is attainable like you say but also men really formidable high-made value physical attractiveness men and that's the physical attractiveness for men is for mid-ability

50:40muscularity height that makes you a valuable co-eitional ally to men for other reason useful as well so the fuck use of women got for it's really beautiful woman she's just gonna take all the men yeah our men are gonna be interested there whereas for men it's like that really formidable guy he could help me going to war we really need him yes so that explains some of the sex difference but unfortunately height isn't sexy trade you can cultivate well though the looks Max or they're doing their best to fast track the surgery on that front of the true I mean this is a very I would you say unpopular to say so I'm gonna have to put up disguise on for it I would say it is significantly easier for a woman to raise her physical attractiveness mate value than it is for I'm sorry I would say that is significantly easier for a man to raise his physical attractiveness mate value than it is for a woman yeah if you go to the gym what's the evidence of how much it improves your attractiveness like significant basically no guy that isn't made more attractive to women yeah an average most women by going to the gym yeah

51:44and that's true throughout most of your life as well it's a longer span of your reproductive value for his women's beauty is on a much more tight time clock so it's harder to fight against yes so there's nothing you can do time is coming the wall is undefeated as the incell say that is true to some extent in a way that it's not for men so that envy must feel more uncomfortable for women who's I mean now it's pretty evolutionary novel the extent to which women can extend their beauty but for most of ancestral history it would have been seeing useful beautiful women would have triggered serious anxiety about your own mate value running out whereas if you're a guy in his 40s who's never trained before a couple of years of hard dieting in a good trip to the gym and you've got a body that's comparable with a guy that might be in an advert you just got to be sufficiently disciplined with it so yeah I think that's that's tough like you know that deserves sympathy and like a degree of understanding where you like fuck like of course you're going to be threatened yeah by

52:46women and I would love to see the age split is it more threatening to a woman who is a little older than Sydney Swini or is it the sort of narcissism or the rivalry of small differences in terms of age I would imagine not so many women younger than Sydney Swini would have as much of a problem at the same rate as women around her age or older you reckon is that I reckon you could even predict the nature of the derogations I would predict that younger women would derogate things like her promiscuity a little bit more whereas older women when they their mate value runs out their value to a group with the minute issues it diminishes but it becomes the wise grandmother the kind of the wisdom so they would start derogating her she's a bimbo what does she know about anything so I have new type of value to the group now yeah so I have to emphasize that rather than I'm never going to compete with Sydney Swini on youth and beauty

53:47right that those days are gone but I might actually derogate her you know on the way to the bimbo yeah this is the maiden mother matriarch arc the Louise Perry talks about yeah okay so the maiden side will look at and also the mother side as well like the middle the middle of the the chunk will be looking okay for kundit loyalty reliability etc but yeah that's interesting the sort of matriarch side might have to use something else oh she's an idiot she's setting women back she's doing something yeah that that is cool the supplement industry is full of products making claims that I can't back which is why I'm such a massive fan of momentous that co-founder Jeff bias played in the NFL and saw first hand just how wildly the quality of supplements can vary so he built me mentors around a higher standard every product for momentous uses evidence backed ingredients transparent doses and independent third party testing everything is NSF certified for sports or what's on the label is actually what's in the tub why momentous is trusted inside all 32 NFL locker rooms it's why I've trusted them with my own supplements for years best of all momentous offers a 30 day

54:51money back guarantee so you can buy it and try it for 29 days if you don't love it they will give you your money back plus they ship internationally right now you get up to 35% off your first subscription and that 30 day money back guarantee by going to the link in the description below heading to live momentous calm sash modern wisdom using the code modern wisdom at checkout at LIV E M O M E and T O U S dot com sash modern wisdom a modern wisdom check out the unentrates thing is still pretty fascinating to me and thinking about how men would feel very differently about a guy that did that and also think women would too because I look at least you've worked for it worked for it in in one form or another but I keep on coming back to like if a guy or a female athlete had done that that wasn't that was basically Sydney Sweeney not saying that I'm doing this for the girls don't really care about them etc etc etc I think you would get still much of the pushback even if she'd had abs right even if it had been like hot Megan Rapinoe

55:51or something I think she would have still got a lot of the pushback yeah perhaps hard to know what is that to say about sort of the focus because for me one of the obvious misses was this is a brand new fucking sports betting company is that prediction market sports betting I think right so it's like Calci but the sports yeah by the way sorry I got a fucking policy I was listening to haven't listened to the daily wire in forever and I was listening to Matt Walsh and and Shapiro and Michael Knowles and Andrew Claven this morning departnied with Calci oh never another sorry are we not against the degeneration of the modern youth and stuff like is there in corrosive practice for young men and the only other two would have been weed and porn and you're certainly not going to promote you're going to implicitly say that both of those things are fucking destructive things are upside down Chris we've got the woke progressives being puritanical and sex negative and we've got the right wing you know conservatives being you know degenerative

56:55but the fucking Matt Walsh doing a Calci act yeah that blew my mind this morning and that's the real story or should be the real story of this Sydney Swini thing is she's promoting gambling probably very successfully given how you know sex sells and how much attention is going to be garnered on the back of this engineered backlash and but yes sports betting I mean the American Institute for Boys and Men have reports on how corrosive this is to young men they've done some really cool research that shows predictable effects when you legalize online gambling in a specific area bankruptcy among young men goes way up and they go into way more debt which is partially attributable to the change in law like they've isolated that effect which is really cool research and my wife was telling me some really kind of sobering statistics this morning about men who have problems with gambling it's detrimental to their relationships which has downstream effects on their suicidality and it's detrimental to their mental health and suicidality in and of itself as well I think something like 30% of people who have a gambling problem of men young men who have gambling problems have felt suicidal and I think something like 13% have attempted suicide because of this so it's a huge and if you think about it from an evolutionary psychology point of view

58:20the addiction to young from young men towards gambling makes sense it's that try and win big in one fell swoop when I've got not much else to lose in an attempt to garner enough resources to up your made value so it's like they're the exact vulnerable group and that should be the real story about this but people care more about harms to women or perceived harms to women in all sorts of domains in life and this is just another example I did a tweet one time because some people don't agree with me on that they don't think that men and society in general are quite protective of women even though there's a preponderance of evidence for this yeah tanya wrote this article reviewing all the different ways in which this manifests but I just asked the question and my following on X a lot of in cells a lot of misogynist men a lot of red pill can I orient a guys and I put up a poll all things being equal is it worse to kill a teenage girl or teenage boy and unanimously people said it was way worse to kill the girl and you know what what can explain that unless we're actually a lot more sensitive to harms towards women I think that that's obvious it's seen even

59:35that in a group whose mistreating women and treat women as property it's seen as a great moral injury to that group if you harm one of their women versus if you harm one of their men yeah and it just I think this is a clear example of it that people couldn't see oh the young men as the real victims in this scenario the victims that are getting the limelight is all women's sport has been you know the men that are being 40 years yeah not not the men that have now got another predatory Fisher trying to break into their brainstem so that they can pull they can try and extract value and cash from them that this could have been if you wanted to push back against Sydney and this is why women are so much more sophisticated socially like the fucking scalpel with which they're able to navigate I thank the Lord every single day that I am not a woman and I don't have to deal with it and I know that the same is true for like lots of women that are in workplace environment navigating that teachers surrounded by the way my god it's like so complex and burdensome for me to navigate all the intersexual dynamics and stuff like that that being said there is a limit to their sophistication

1:00:42the limit to the sophistication is if they'd really really really wanted to do collective action with this they could have got it Sydney by going for the unimpeachably perfect argument of this is predatory against men yeah this is trying to take advantage of young men it's hurting them gambling is fucking poison and we should not have calcium and polym at by the way for all of the things that I get accused of on the internet we have been approached by every fucking prediction market on the planet over and over again and I have turned every single one of them down fair play right like and that says stands that I've taken even I don't have a gambling bone in my body I suck at Vegas I'm not that excited I'd way rather go and see a show I haven't got gambling in my family but I did see what it did to people around me growing up northeast of the UK people don't understand the England there are betting shops on every single high street in every single shit house village Norton right which is the cricket club I played for the guys would finish up playing the game and go and use the fruit machine and the club after it has 25 pounds and now it's an app in your phone

1:01:42as well available 24 hours a day that could have been the angle the headline of all of this could have been Sydney Sweeney uses her body to capitalize on men yeah hurts men increases suicidality reduces their financial freedom I thought that everybody was up in arms about the cost of living crisis I thought everyone cared about financial financially uplifting the underclass I bet that if you look at the people that are mostly using online gambling it's going to skew toward the lowest socioeconomic classes as well yeah it's not going to be the high that's not going to be the high the upper class in the middle class history strategy people trying to make a big quick yeah this is how I'm going to get Robin Hood for 2026 yeah right yeah totally agree but it just comes back to this idea that women are a more a better victim in terms of the media they make sure that that's where people care more about their concerns I would just push back on the thing you said about all so glad I'm not a woman because they're so hard to navigate and it might seem like that with our male brains and I would if I got the social social navigation upgrade installed in my brain because I'm a woman yeah my arms race would have been sort of appropriately difficult to be that point but also think of the modern world and the social arena as you have to navigate it actually kind of rewards the female style of aggression way more than the male style like think of a corporate you

1:03:04environment you can't be directly aggressive and men all settle this in the car park or even just you know raising your voice men are neutered in terms of how they show aggression and whereas there's almost no policing on women's gossiping or you know false accusations things like that so you know they're actually rewarded for their style so do you know my my new conspiracy theory oh big new conspiracy theory Sydney Swini keeps being used as a distraction from geopolitically inconvenient news drops July 2025 DOJ released a memo stating that there were no significant findings in the Epstein files the one big beautiful bill is signed into law stripping over $1 trillion in benefits from US citizens while raising the debt ceiling by five trillion Sydney Swini's American Eagle Ag drops capturing national attention right that's June 22 July 2025 September 2026 the UN sites concerns over US war crimes in Iran AICOs agree to slow down development after former employees warm over Doomsday Trump refuses to slow progress citing competition with China the midterms are right around the corner Sydney Swini appears in an overgavel never waste a good crisis bury some other bad news and bury the headline below two big ahead lines you just imagine them in their crisis room like things are getting we're getting a lot of heat break out Sydney we need to hit break glass

1:04:23in case of geopolitical emergency and it's just Sydney Swini's phone number literally yeah yeah it did I think it's fascinating it's interesting to to consider how many more times like both sides of someone's mouth or groups mouths can be spoken out of is in your experience is like highlighting hypocrisy a good way to educate people so think what again to steal man the critique side on the criticizer side it's hey look we're okay with you having a position as long as the position seemed to sort of run in parallel and be a consistent yes yeah yeah we want you to be consistent across your views and because you're not we just want one of these things to be stopped either sexual revolution liberation women can use their body thing like that and this can't exist at the same time right square the circle for me and become consistent like hypocrisy is catnet for the internet in your experience is hypocrisy identification useful tool of behavior change i mean using just my own self works on me if someone points out a way in which i'm being hypocritical i find that persuasive and perhaps it's not it might trigger tribal psychology too much and just signal that someone's the enemy

1:05:43and yeah so i don't know i don't think so but i i think it's it's worth highlighting anyway because some of the examples are so fragrant and it's you know so worth highlighting i think just to get back to that idea on which sex has it worse in lots of domains it feels like the modern culture war is just a race to the bottom on people trying to fucking up out do each other on thing all men have worse in this domain and the evolution is like logic and the logical approach is always very domain specific so back to this paper I was writing on mismeasurement of men some of the statements in there are just way too global it's like men are superior to women are you know all these things that are massive global statements and the more appropriate level of analysis is find the domains or the specific context in which each sex has it bad or good and there are different ones for men and women and it's not just one has it worse or better than the other she says this all the time that there's times where her sex has been a massive advantage and then there's times where it's held her back you're okay well in that case

1:06:52sweeping fucking statements don't really work but there are some laws that seem to kind of be hold pretty true like gamma bias right men are the sex of men is ignored when they do positive but highlighted when they do negative and the sex of women is ignored when they do negative and highlighted when they do positive like that seems to hold as a relatively broad perspective across headlines what the fucking Carnegie award like 95% of that it's people who risk their own life selflessly to help a stranger like 95 96% of people that do that's like stranger saves drowning man what a benevolent sexist yeah I know fucking horrible dude you're the best I appreciate you I'm glad for breaking this down why should people go check out all these exes where I'm hanging out on your recommendation I've given up the blue sky I don't go there anymore but also you so it's not built for you yeah so yeah follow me on x and articulate myself probably a lot better than here and yeah check me out there you're the best appreciate you man all right goodbye my beauties do yes fucking money that's good yeah imagine of having your cake and eating it too was about banking not baking

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