Yshai Boussi on Polyvagal and Supporting Connected Relationships with Teens

I’m extremely interested in Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal theory and the context it offers for understanding the nervous system experience of our kids. So I was especially interested when my guest’s book, Staying Connected With Your Teen: Polyvagal Parenting Strategies To Reduce Reactivity, Set Limits, and Build Authentic Connection, came onto my radar. Yshai Boussi is the founder of Portland Family Counseling, a therapy practice that specializes in helping children, adolescents, families, and parents. His focus is mentoring at-risk youth, working in residential treatment facilities, and leading intensive experiential workshops for at-risk youth, and he’s adept at applying polyvagal theory to helping parents foster deeper connection and reduce conflict.

In this conversation, we discussed how to build and maintain supportive relationships with teens, the crucial difference between "acceptance" and "agreement" when validating a teen's emotional experience, the power of co-regulation, and how a child's state of regulation affects their "story" and meaning-making about themselves and their experiences. A lot of great takeaways in this one, and I will admit to sending the rough cut to my husband Derin to listen to because I found so much of what we discussed highly relevant — I didn’t want to wait!