1856 || we're all hypocrites

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1:02After 85 years, it's no surprise that Jeep became America's SUV brand. Get a great deal during the Jeep drive into fall sales event. Jeep is one more awards over its lifetime than any other SUV brand. Jeep and the Jeep Grill register trademarts of FCAUS LLC. Welcome to the Make Your Damn Bed Podcast. A daily motivation podcast designed to help you get out of bed every morning with a little company for me, Dr. Lee Marica. If you struggle with consistency, let's build a little momentum together, whether you make your bed or not. Good morning, sunshine. Welcome to another day of the Make Your Damn Bed Podcast. I think a major existential problem that a lot of people are having right now is we are forced to live with a lot of cognitive dissonance. When our beliefs and our actions don't line up and we're constantly acting out of alignment with what we value and what we want to act like, at best, it causes some anxiety and guilt. But more often, it causes us to dissociate from our choices.

2:06We lean into the idea that we lack agency or it could be any different and we continue to act as if we have no choice. Ideally, if people become more self-aware, they might actually start to be able to effectively challenge their own beliefs. They can practice self-reflection and stop disconnecting from the problems that they're avoiding. A lot of us are unfortunately forced to make decisions on a daily basis that don't fully align with what we value. Many of us work for and otherwise support evil corporations that we wish would go away completely. Or a lot of us know the value of eating more plant-based options, but we continue to opt in for factory-farm to meet because it's so ingrained in our habits. Or we have other things we'd like to do with our time, but we spend all day scrolling and giving data to companies we don't want to have our data. I know I personally really struggled to get off social media. Despite knowing it's not just going to worsen my mood,

3:09it's worsening my overall mental health and physical health because it keeps me from getting up out of bed. I've stayed in relationships I knew were unhealthy because it felt easier than starting over. I have bought clothes from places that I don't want to support despite deeply believing in more ethical consumption. I can say I hate fast fashion all I want, but my closet doesn't really show that. Plus, I drive a lot for someone who preaches about climate change caused by oil companies. I complain constantly about consumerism, but I still end up buying a lot of shit I don't need. And pretty regularly, I've had to vote for people I don't fully agree with politically to avoid voting for other candidates I agree less with. And every single night, even though I know how important, and vital sleep is, I routinely trade it for shit that is not important. The point is, no matter how intentional we are, we're all forced to face some internal conflicts that lead us to create some cognitive dissonance to cope with that conflict.

4:14Some of it is self-inflicted, things that I could choose better, but don't. And less of it is stuff I just can't avoid because of the current climate. But whether it's me making choices unconsciously or consciously, I do tend to minimize and justify and twist and pretend and block and reframe every little thing so that I can continue doing the shit I've always done because change is really fucking hard and really fucking scary. But never changing is actually way more terrifying than staying the same. The problem is I might know this logically, but facing the reality and being honest with myself would mean I have to change some shit and like I said, change is really hard. Change feels bigger than it is because we as humans tend to prefer what is familiar. This is sometimes referred to as the status quo bias. We lean into what we know for a lot of reasonable reasons.

5:14Maybe it's because we want to prevent a potential loss in the future. A lot of us tend to focus on what we have to lose rather than what we have to gain. This keeps us tied to the way things are rather than branching out and trying something new and potentially risky. Or maybe it's the sunk cost fallacy. We already have dumped this much time or money or energy or resources or efforts into things. So we may as well continue investing even if it's not beneficial. But the point is this type of cognitive dissonance, this distance we can create from ourselves and our own agency and the choices that we make do eventually take a toll on us, even if we don't acknowledge them consciously. And I really believe that this plague of cognitive dissonance that almost all Americans are forced to live through to some degree is one of the most important things that we need to address if we're going to have a future worth looking forward to. Everyone, including myself, has gotten far too comfortable minding their own business

6:17and not being bothered and trying to stay comfortable instead of addressing the real problem and I think this is to the detriment of society at large. Over time, the more we act in ways that don't align with what we actually want and value in the world, the more depressing the world gets. And of course, our decisions aren't just impacting the world around us, but they impact our spirits, our beliefs, our minds, and they create these spirals towards more of the same. When I feel the best about myself, it's because I'm doing as much as I can to make my spirit feel aligned with my values. I'm not just eating right because it's healthier, but because I forced myself to be more conscious in the process, it takes away a lot of the shame and the guilt and the fear and the overwhelm that typically comes with deciding what to eat. The problem is nobody wants to experience cognitive dissonance, so a lot of us just pretend we aren't. We're not even

7:22aware of all of the places in which we've given up our agency and are acting out of alignment. According to PositiveCycology.com, the original cognitive dissonance theory was created in 1957. When Leon Festinger posited that two cognitions can be relevant or irrelevant to each other, it can be about your behavior, your perception, your attitude, your emotion, or your belief. Typically, one of the cognitions in question is about our behavior, and if the cognitions are relevant, they will be consistent or in agreement with each other. We will act and make decisions, and make choices, and behave in a way that coincides with the things that we believe. But of course, our actions are not always in agreement, and sometimes they can be inconsistent with our beliefs or our attitudes or our perceptions. The discrepancy between an attitude and a behavior, for instance, if you're trying to eat more healthily and reduce your calorie intake

8:24and your neighbor brings you over donuts and you smash three of them, that leads to a psychological discomfort that we refer to as cognitive dissonance. Our actions are not aligning with our thoughts. Cognitive dissonance leads to the motivation to reduce the dissonance, and the stronger the discrepancy, so the more far out our action is from the way we believe, the greater motivation we have to reduce that feeling. And so according to this theory, there are four main strategies that people use to reduce the discomfort of the cognitive dissonance they're experiencing. One, they change the behavior so that it's more consistent with their original beliefs or thoughts. For instance, tomorrow I will not choose to eat extra donuts. I am going to stick to my calorie deficit by adhering to the meal plan I've already placed for myself. The second strategy is to change the dissonant thought itself in order to restore consistency. It's no big deal that I ate the donuts, who cares? Calorie

9:29deficits are for losers. I love to eat, and that was delicious, and well worth it. The calorie deficit thing was just a temporary thought, and I no longer really care. The third is we add other consonant thoughts that justify or reduce the importance of one thought and therefore diminish the inconsistency. Well, it was only three donuts, so at dinner I will reduce my calorie intake by the amount of calories in those donuts and it will all make up for it. Or for we trivialize the inconsistency altogether, making it less important and less relevant, who really gives a shit about the donuts. You only live once, let's fucking go. Now, I am instantly regretting using a food in a calorie deficit as an example, because one, I got food issues, and two, diet culture in general, I think is incredibly toxic, and there's a lot of shame and guilt around it. But I do think that makes it a pretty good example for how cognitive dissonance works, because as we know, some of us do have some choice over the inconsistencies that we have.

10:36And though some of us struggle with more mental blockages than others, these choices leave us feeling more guilty, which makes the dissonance that we experience far stronger than if we didn't have a say at all. But as we know, shame is not a powerful motivator, and us feeling ashamed about the choices that we make only makes the dissonance portion worse. Tomorrow, I'll share some more examples of this before sharing some strategies on how to experience less cognitive dissonance by taking control of some of the choices that we do have control over, so that we don't internalize the guilt and lose more of our self-trust. As always, you can access any of the resources I referenced in the show notes, if you're interested. In the meantime, just know I love you so much. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day, and I'll talk to you tomorrow while you make your damn bed. Goodbye, cutie. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of the Make Your Damn Bed podcast. Don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss tomorrow's episode. You can

11:41follow on Instagram and TikTok at MYDB podcast for occasional updates, and if you could rate and review this episode five stars wherever you're listening, it genuinely helps the podcast at its core. And if you have anyone in your life you think might be interested in hearing what I have had to say, it also makes a huge difference in the sustainability and my ability to make this something worth sharing. So if you have questions or want specific advice, you can email me at MYDB podcast at gmail.com. In the meantime, I've been your host, Julie America. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day, and I'll talk to you tomorrow while you make your damn bed. You're either all in on this model, or maybe you're building with another. You're either speed, or is it security, or your AWS AI. Don't pick a side. Pick them all.

12:41AWS AI is how Saturday, September 26, two of combat sports most dangerous strikers collide. Bear Knuckle. Liverpool's own down in the Kurelateel coast to war with Cuban powerhouse, Joel Soldier of Daver Miro. Plus the Bear Knuckle middleweight championship of the world is on the line with the rating Champ Dave Varenec Mundell, defense against undefeated British challenger, Jack Demeek Cleaver-Colin, BKFC 94, Tillverse Romero. Watch it live only on the zone. Sign up now at thezone.com. Freedom in Jeep Gladiator. After 85 years, it's no surprise that Jeep became America's SUV brand. Get a great deal during the Jeep Drive-In-Default Sales event. Jeep is one more awards over its lifetime than any other SUV brand, Jeep in the Jeep Grill or Registered

13:42trademarks of FCAUS LLC.