200 - GTA and Cisterns

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Large skillet because you can't have too much room. Garlic pesto, tomato paste,

collaborate and chili, season the taste, order blue apron today.

As AI got a chin. Yeah.

Hello, this is howtokillanour. My name is Marcus. My name is Sean.

And this is the show where we find some stuff to make each other laugh and look for new ways

to kill time. It's very simple. Very, very simple. There's no other way of explaining it.

I could go on. I could keep using words, adding a word after word after word,

whilst not really doing anything or explaining anything more, but that would just be a waste of a time.

AKA waste of time. Yeah, that is a waste of a time.

It's a waste of a time. AKA a podcast.

Thank you.

Yeah, man. Thanks for joining us. I think we should kick off with the first part of the show,

each and every single week we have jokes. If you think you want to send a joke in,

we do have a special bonus episode called Punishment. Send your jokes into howtokillanour.com

forward slash jokes within the meantime. It's time for our jokes.

A truck driver used to amuse himself running over lawyers. He would see jogging on the side of the road.

Every time he'd see a jogger jogging, he would swerve and hit him.

He'd hit a thud and then swerve back on the road.

One day, the driver was putling along when he saw a priest hitchhiking, so he stopped

to picking up. The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued driving.

Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer jogging up ahead and immediately regretted picking up the

priest. Surely I can't run over the lawyer with a priest in the truck, he thought.

Then he had an idea. He'd pretend to fall asleep. The truck driver pretended to nod off.

He drifted to the right just a little bit and he heard that satisfying thud.

He pretended to wake up. Oh, did I hit a lawyer? Did I hit a lawyer? The driver asked,

pretending to wake up suddenly. No, said the priest, but I got him with the door.

Well played. Well played.

A guy from the city decides he wants to go duck hunting. He's out for several days before he even

catches sight of a duck. Finally, he sees the perfect duck, takes aim and fires. The duck falls,

hits a barn and goes into the farm as he odd. The hunter climbs over the fence and goes into

the farm as he odd to get the duck. As soon as the hunter bends over to pick up the duck,

this huge farmer comes out of the house. He takes one look at the hunter and says,

what are you doing in my yard? The hunter points at the duck and says, I've come to get the duck.

It's my duck. The farmer says, that's not your duck. This is my yard. That fell and hit my barn.

The hunter is not about to give up the duck. He says, that's not your duck. I shot the duck.

I've been out hunting for a couple of days. Give me a break. You know, I'm from the city.

The farmer says, you're from the city. Well, you don't understand how property works in this country,

do you? This is my property. It's my duck. But I'm a fair guy, so I'll give you a chance to get the

duck by settling our disagreement country style. The hunter says, country style. The farmer nods

a great big smile on his face. Yeah, the country style. The hunter frowns and asks, how do you

settle it in the country then? The farmer's smile gets even wider. He says, I kick you in the groin

and then you kick me in the groin and we take turns kicking each other in the groin.

Whoever's left standing, keep the duck. The hunter doesn't not like the sound of that,

but he does want the duck. So he says, well, that's the only way to do it, then fine.

The farmer nods and says, I go first. He pulls off and whack. He kicks the hunter square in the groin.

The hunter falls to the ground, wintzing in pain, clutching his groin. After several minutes of

rolling around in the dirt, the hunter manages to get back to his feet finally. He takes a deep

breath and says, OK, I guess it's my turn. The farmer shrugged and said, ah, you can have the duck.

Long walk. That's a good one. No, that's a slice of cake. That's a good walk for a fish and chips

for I'll take that. That's good. That's good. I didn't see that coming. That's hilarious.

Win.

Teenager. Doctor, how is he? Doctor, I'm sorry. He's had a massive heart attack and also

sustained some bone fractures. Teenager, can I talk to him? Doctor, no, unfortunately,

that's not possible now. But if you want to tell him anything, I can pass along the message.

Teenager, could you ask him if I pass my driving test?

I'm sorry.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a man asked the director, how would you determine whether or

not a patient should be institutionalized? The director said, well, we fill up a bathtub.

Then we offer the person a teaspoon, a tea cup, and a bucket and ask them to empty the bathtub.

The man nodded, oh, yes, yes, yes, I understand. That's not understanding. Yes. A normal person would

use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the tea cup. The director frowned and

motioned to the orderlies. No, a normal person will pull the bathtub drain plug. Do you want a bed

near the window? Get it. Get it. That's heavy. A radio show asked people if they could call up with

words they made up. Ring ring. All right, sir, you're live. What's the word you came up with?

Gone. How did you spell that? G-O-A-N. Can you use it in a sentence? Go and fuck yourself.

The host disconnects the corner and profusely apologizes to the public. They get several more

callers who are a little bit more polite while later on another caller goes on. Hello, you're live.

Watch your words, sir. Smith. How'd you spell it? S-M-E-E. Can you use that in a sentence, please?

Smith, again, go fuck yourself. This is one of the ones I have in this video.

How can I just say, do you know where it came from? No, it was a true instance.

Oh, amazing. It was on radio, but in Ireland. You know what? It makes it so much fun here,

because an Irish accent dropping that bar, that sounds amazing. I got to have honey.

You can go fuck. I love that one. It's brilliant.

All right. Britain's oldest woman turned 114 today. When asked the secret of her longevity,

she attributed it to taking a walk at midnight every night. When quizzed on whether she was concerned

about the increase in muggings in recent years, she said that she was not and would continue

mugging people as long as their health held out.

Oh, I'm your bro. I walked up to a Buddhist hot dog vendor and said, make me one with everything.

I gave him 20 bucks and he swallowed the bank note. When I asked him for the rest of the money,

he threw up a bunch of coins and said, change comes from within.

I love you. I love you.

A young man passing a bar sees an old woman fishing with a stick and a string in a puddle by the

sidewalk. She must be a poor old fool, he thinks to himself. And out of the kindness of his heart,

invites the woman in for a drink. After he's paid for their round and the two are sitting

quietly enjoying their drinks, he asks her, so how many of you caught today? The old woman

grins, takes a big sip of her drink and replies, you're the eighth.

Yes. Oh, you're some gurgs for gratitude there.

What do you call the useless piece of skin around a penis?

What a man.

When I read that rub, you know, when you read a joke here,

it's all right, be with some butter.

A pregnant woman starts to have contractions at home. Her husband freaks out and immediately calls

the doctor. Dr. Help, my wife's pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.

The doctor says, is this her first child frustrated the man's child? No, you idiot. This is her husband.

It's so dumb.

A girl walks into a tattoo shop and asks for Elvis on one fine, Johnny cash on the other.

The tattoo artist says, all right, let's get to work, but I'm going to need you to take off your

pants so I don't get ink on them. After a few hours, he finishes both tattoos. She looks in the

mirror and freaks out. These don't look like Elvis or Johnny at all. She starts crying. Sure,

they do says the artist. Here, I'll prove it. The artist goes outside and grabs a man standing

on the corner, brings him into the shop and goes, who are the people in these tattoos?

The man looks intently and after a couple of minutes says, oh, I don't know who that one is on

the left. I'm not sure who that one is on the right, but that one in the middle is definitely

Willie Nelson.

Zero, dude. All right. Little Johnny's mum sits him down before they go to visit their

neighbour who just had a baby boy. Listen to me very carefully. She says, the poor baby was born

without a chin because of a rare genetic condition. His mother is extremely sensitive about it.

If you even make the tiniest comment about his chin, you can be grounded for a whole month.

You got it? Johnny nods obediently. They arrive at chat for a while and then Johnny turns to the

new mum with a sweet smile and asks, when your son grows up, Willie move out of the house one day?

Yes, of course. Hopefully, when he goes to college, Willie washes his own bedsheets.

Well, who else is going to wash them? Yes. We'll iron them too. Yes, he'll iron them

and put them away in the closet. Obviously, Johnny, where else will they go? How is he going to fold

them? Wait, is that little Johnny? That little Johnny, but also, it is one of those things,

is one of the things that he should end well unless if you have, if you have been blessed with a

chin. Yes, this is true. Shout out to Johnny for finding the best way to get up to your

boss. That's Johnny, it's Johnny, isn't it? Yeah. Johnny, formerly little Johnny, is all grown up now.

He's let himself go in his old age and he's feeling it. One day on his way home from work, he walks

by a storefront with a sign that reads, lose 10 pounds for 10 dollars, lose 20 pounds for 20 dollars

and lose 100 pounds for 100 dollars. He decides that he's tied up being fat and he goes in,

slaps down his 10 dollars and says, I'd like to lose 10 pounds. The lady that the desk says,

go down the hall, third door on the right, take off your clothes when you enter. Off he goes,

takes off his clothes when he enters into the room. Inside the room, he sees a table in the middle

of the room and a door on the far side. As soon as he's naked, the other door opens and a lovely

naked woman comes out with a sign on her that says, if you catch me, you can fug me. Round and

round they go, around the table, she's fast. By the time he catches her, he's burned off 10 pounds.

A few days later, he's recovered. He comes back, 20 dollars in hand, slaps it down and says,

man, I'd like to lose 20 pounds. The lady that says, go down the hall, third door on the left,

take off your clothes when you enter. Off he goes, takes off his clothes when he enters the room.

Inside the room, he sees a table in the middle of the room and a door on the far side.

As soon as he's naked, the other door opens and a crazy hot naked woman comes out with a sign

on her that says, if you can catch me, you can fug me. She's faster than the first one. Round and

round they go, around the table. By the time he catches her, he's burned off 20 pounds. Two weeks later,

he's been going to the gym this time. He's going to be ready. He runs into the place, tells the

woman at a desk he wants to lose 100 pounds. She takes his money and says, down the hall to the end,

upstairs, last door on the right. He sprints down the hallway, he's naked before he hits the stairs,

slams the door after he enters the room. This time, a big muscular dude comes out swinging some

epic pipe with a sign on his chest that reads, if I catch you, I'm gone for you.

And we don't know how I'm sorry. Oh, man, listen, 100 pounds is a lot to lose, bro.

I ain't a better man, but I'll tell you what, we're running for a while. What a way to end our jokes.

Sean, I've been gone on in the world at the moment, but I've been digging for some

Fisher news story. So it's time for our news.

Oh, okay, okay. All right, what have you got for me?

What have you got for me? A gossip journalist, sorry, a gossip journalist from a newspaper,

who, sorry, freaking out, what's it going to get for X? Okay, from another country.

A gossip journalist from an, oh, fine, a gossip newspaper reporter got locked in an ice cream

parlor. We're still waiting on the scoop. I don't know if you see that one coming up again.

All right, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. A wedding photographer was actually tragically crushed

by a 200 pound wheel of cheese that fell off a catering truck. The guests all tried to warn him.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. So, right, right, this is a little bit taking this story,

right? I'm going to try and get to this in the most sensible way possible, but this is a new

story that did come out last year. But, apparently, this is something that could be done and could

be done again. Okay. An AI firm says its technology has been weaponized by hackers. So,

you know, there's loads of AI's out there, right? There's a company called Anthropic that

makes Claude, which is one of the, like one of the, it's one of the biggest.

Well, the biggest, yeah. So, apparently, some people using Claude last year to commit large-scale

theft and extortion of personal data. The firm said its AI was used to help write a code which

carried out cyber attacks. While in another case, scammers use Claude to forgently get remote jobs

at top US companies. So, people are going, so it's gone to the point now where people are going,

hey, AI, cook me up a nice little virus, a little Trojan horse, certainly. And come back to you.

So, yeah, people, people, and it's this thing called vibe code in is like the whole thing in it where

you can't, right away, it sounds so hippie-ish in it. Like, how'd you code this? I just learned.

Okay. It's like, it's basically just saying, I want this and the AI kind of spitting it out,

but it's not just like, make me a picture with, you know,

commit the frog made out of M&Ms. It's more like, can you create this whole database for me?

Can you create this website for me? Can you create this thing that works by itself for me?

That's mad. If you could make something with AI with its current capacity or maybe

a future capacity, what would you like to leave on it for? Because the things I want AI,

no, I'll let you answer first. The first thing that comes to my head is for it to be able to take

care and mean your things that I don't want to flip and do. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

AI, can you floss and brush my teeth for me? That's, I was saying the stuff that I wanted to do.

I can't do it. Can you, I unfold my laundry for me, please? Oh.

AI's AI got a chin. Yeah.

Well, it's got a chin, is he? Sorry. Activate chin, what?

I, yeah. I have seen, have you seen those ones, I'm sorry, I've got a topic here,

the ones, the kind of things that you put in your teeth, that people, that like,

brush your teeth, they're like, do they actually, where have you had to go?

No. No. No. I would. Oh, I don't have a go, yeah.

But nothing tells me that's good. That's, is that as fun of routine as brushing your teeth

and running fun? That's one of the things I actually, I take so long, I take like,

just, I've like, one tooth here, which is like sideways. So that two takes me two minutes,

just a floss by itself. So my whole tooth brushing routine is like 15 minutes.

Can we not get you like a second brush with a right angle on it or something like that?

Like a special, that would be quite useful. Yeah.

I do use the right angled thing on me, but I'll fix the things. Yeah, I love doing that.

Water floss, not water floss. A water floss, you know, you put the mouth washing it sometimes as

well. I never did that, actually, when I had a water floss for a while.

Love it. Yeah, man. So we've got straight onto teeth brushing,

let me know your tasks, me know tasks, but can I be honest with you? I don't mind the

feeling right afterwards, but if you could get like all of my hygiene tasks, like washing and

brushing my teeth, if you get rid of all of those and throwing and getting dressed as well.

Pro. You like it? What's it? Yeah, I'll take, I'll even just take losing the time. Like if I could

just say, right, I'll lose an hour, but I'm showered, shaved, dressed and washed and dressed.

I might just say, take that hour. I don't know how you'd feel. Would you be all right,

we're just losing an hour? Yeah, I mean, I don't, I don't know, you use the term enjoyment when it

came to brought like, oh, would you enjoy it as much as you enjoy your, enjoy your enjoyable

brushing routine at the moment? I don't know, is it enjoying or is it more me,

is it more me just enjoying not having the taste of sleeping in?

Sleeping in my mouth, I open all night, all the flies I've used.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, when I say enjoy it, I think I enjoy the the output,

which is me refreshing clean, but like I'm not like the journey. Yeah, I can't wait to,

when I say I can't wait to get in the shower, I can't wait to feel clean. I'm not like, I can't,

I just love, I love it. I can understand more about like if someone said, what do you enjoy more

standing in the shower or brushing your teeth? It'll be standing in the shower. If the shower

was hot, that is, I need to, to caveat that. Nice hot. If the shower was hot and it's got a good

pressure, give me a good hour. What's frustrating? What's more frustrating, more cold showers the

most frustrating for me, but a hot shower, but the pressure's not there. I mean, it's like to

watch her that in it, trying to watch her hair. I'm not going to lie, it makes me upset. Yeah,

it makes me cross. It makes me cross. It makes me cross. Yeah, yeah. I think, and I've gone to

that runner flat back in the day, I've gone in and gone, and then it sounds really weird,

but can I just run the shower for a few minutes first? Yeah, just to see if it's okay. It's

one of them ones here. You go, it's much of you going to buy a yacht and you're like,

your yacht's amazing. Except the water pressure to the whole building is terrible. Yeah,

it's the only thing I can do. No, yeah, by you. Yeah. Right. You can fix it, but it's a big job to do

that in it. Well, sorry to go in. We've gone from, I'll take what? Old man podcast on what?

Two splashing and two. Increasing water pressure. Yeah. You can, you can put a pump on the

non-potable water, but not on the, and you can't do it on a, I mean, water, you can't,

you can do it on like hot water, but you can't do it on a, you can't do it on a cold water

fee. You can't put a pump. Can you, can you ask them to put a bigger pipe in your house, though,

like a bigger pipe from the main? It would, but you can do, but it would depend on what the pipe

is that's leading into your house in the first instance. So if you, if you have a 15-mm pipe

and you put like 32-mm, and it's not really going to change much. Can you pay for them to

go all the way up to the mains and just take a 30-mm pipe up to it, or is that, oh, I don't know.

So that'll cost you, isn't it? Because you've got to get, you've got to pay the,

you've got to dig up the, dig up the, yeah, dig up the ground. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, exciting, exciting, exciting topics. So we, we touch upon on this show.

Listen, I, T-9, if you ask me what we're going to talk about in today's episode,

and I said, AI task, and if you told me that three minutes later, we'd be discussing how to get

higher water pressure in your house. I've got this here, I've got it.

Crack water pressure, and also, college biology.

Mild and convenience.

No, it's more, it's more than that. Oh, yeah, I think it's a hot shower where the pressure isn't quite

enough. Mild and convenience. A shower where the temperature fluctuates, like wildly,

that's what we have to be like, we have to be like a safe cracker next to the thermostat.

You're like, one degree in the wrong direction, and it goes from ice to lava.

Horrible. That is not fun. Or if you've got an electric shower where the pressure seems good,

but it's not quite warm enough, so you turn it to get warmer and the pressure drops off.

Oh, my God. I'm there tweaking it quickly just to get a bit of pressure up and stepping

back for the show. Oh, it's frustration. I reckon that we should just have a full episode

on the limited shower pressure. I think we're already there. And fluctuation,

the temperature of the show's. If we end the show now, that's what it's

been, jokes and shower pressure. Which leads me onto another similar gripe, right?

Sean, feel free to stop me at any point, because I'm going to try not to be graphic,

because we're really sensible in this podcast. It's using bathrooms where I don't feel like

the system contains enough water pressure for me, because I'm a big fella. I require a certain

amount of water pressure for my flushes. Do you know what I mean? So if I go to a bathroom

where it's got a tiny little system, I can eye it up sometimes and be like, if I go for a big job

in here, like a... Let's just say I've been putting away a big Sunday roast or some Jolof Rice

and chicken the night before, maybe a combination above. I need to look at that system and have

trust in it, because if I don't have trust in it, it's in a way game. Big problems can occur.

That's what I'm saying, Sean. I'm just going to put out the way you say

system is... How do I say it? How do you mean to say it? I feel like most people say

system. Well, I say system. Oh, did I? Oh, sorry. I'm probably saying it wrongly, I've

been saying system. But maybe I'm getting it wrong. Yeah. Maybe I need the system to be more

stern. It's just a system. Is it system? System. This has been... System. I need my system to be

more stern, though. I need it to have more of a stern flush. Yeah, I need it to have a large

volume of water needs to pump through that. You know what I mean? I understand your... I understand

your right plan. Yeah, but you know that level. That level awareness is I would never violate

your house because I'd look and or I'd at least give it as I'd give it like a pre flush

to see what the water's doing. Let's say I say I was caught short at your house, right?

Right. You would you would test how many liters of water the system holds first.

I'd add up prior to. Yeah. It wouldn't be an exact science because I'd have to... Maybe I might

put like a... You know how have like water markers when they're doing science? I wouldn't have that

so I'd have a toilet paper marker maybe or maybe if you had like a fancy colored toilet duck,

I'd splash a bit of that on around the size of the toilet just to see what kind of action

goes on there. So see what it can flush. Flushing twice is... It's off the table, is it?

From that, you're like... One flush, you're like... Well, that's it, man.

From that science, I can work out if I need to do... If I need to have a game of two halves,

football match, or whether I need to go NBA style on it and have four quarters, four quarters.

Yeah. Or if it's really bad pressure off it, or if it's really bad pressure.

Yeah, yeah. It's half time if it's bad. If it's quite bad, I have to go for a basketball game,

which is four quarters. This is a reminder of four quarters, bono in like self-fart.

You remember that? What is that? Remind the list. I believe bono has a turn that you're like sitting

on top of it. It's like... It's about to meet a high end. He's really like proud of it. Yeah,

you should have cut that up into portions. So, like I said, footy, game hours, basketball,

four quarters, or if it's a really tough date and the pressure isn't really there, we're going

yard for yard like NFL baby. It's good. Making them first downs. What are you doing there?

Oh, man. I hope I managed to negotiate that without too many people thrown up in their mouths

there. Listen, we're all humans. We do what we do. Anyway, so, AI hacking. Basically,

people are backpacking stuff. I feel like now, as we record this, I want to say, it's 2026,

and it's March. This is the first, last month or so, is when I've seen real application of AI,

where I'm like, it really can see it saving time. AI for a long time, I think, has been good for

people. It's a bit smarter, not what they're doing, but a lot of the time it's done work and you

have to really check it. I've never used AI in England. That's perfect, but I feel like it's come

to a place now where the stuff it can do, like building a whole website. It makes a few little

mistakes in a website that you try to build. I'm like, yo, it's not that bad. I can fix those

spelling mistakes, but if you've made, put all the pictures in the right place and it kind of looks

all right, I'm like, nice, you've saved us loads of time. Sorry for all the web designers that are

losing out on jobs there, but listen, mate, the computer was invented, didn't it? And before you,

a lot of people lost jobs, sorry, I'd after the computer came out, a lot of people lost jobs,

so I guess you just have to swing with the times. I'm saying that until two robots take over what

we're doing, do you know? Yep. And then we're just watching ourselves going, yeah, we were

funny, but yeah, there you go, AI, taking over Sean, that was it really, a little bit of

backpacking and not a pun. I can also do you remember any specific instances of the things that you've

seen recently, which have been like, you know, real case use cases where you're like, yeah, this

is actually, I'll tell you me, I for a joke, wrote this prompt, or very similar, I have to change

it a little bit because of where stuff. Create landing page for book launch, December 6th,

for what's something we've spoken about on the show? Well, let's see if we can talk about something,

I don't know, say it's this black thermos flask and it's by a thermos, it's called the thermos

spectacular. I mean, it's more interesting than most of the topics that we've spoken of. Book launch

on system or system. And I watched it work. And within, I walked, it was a five minute job,

six minute walk, walked away, came back, looked at the website, couples spelling mistakes,

everything was there. It even put in like the address of where the book launch should be,

because of from what I said, it kind of, it kind of guessed from what I mentioned where that

thing should be. It suggested a main in this, it's such all this stuff. And I looked at it and

I was like, there's a spelling mistake in it needs to get changed. This is pretty much, or maybe

some images could get changed pretty much for to go, I was absolutely like, it's made, it's done

it. And I, and I deliberately was obnoxiously brief with it, like, sorry, if you do take over,

but I was like, I made sure it made no sense. It was like, I don't know, like create t-shirt website

for, Sean's got a snake on his t-shirt if you're listening, but like create a website for

black man bar t-shirt company. And it did it, like for new t-shirt launch party or whatever. And

it asked me where the address was. I think I put that in. Maybe I put that in or maybe it just

guessed it went on the internet and found out where black man was stores was. No, it did,

one on the internet found out where black man was stores was and said, yeah, launch party, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, and then said to me, and then said to me, do you want to host it?

I sure, yeah, going and host it on a practice site did it for me. Then I said, kind of download it,

so I can host it somewhere I said, yeah, cool, here's the index one. Done. It's done. I think within

an hour, you could create a decent landing page. Not a full website with blog and stuff.

I think it's a lot of work to do. But in this day and age, as long as the link that you're going to

is something that you trust, like it's an Instagram page you like, someone from Instagram goes go

here to get my free booklet and you click a link that is all numbers and stuff. You usually trust it

because you found it from Instagram, which is the trusted source. You don't need to have a whole

like big website that you paid for. Sorry if I'm boring you guys, but like I just found it like

that was amazing. It made it. Sometimes with AI stuff with images and video, you can add extra frames

on video, but images I've like had a picture where I like cropped it too much one way and I've just

used AI to expand it a bit or add some design little design elements to it. I think it's really,

really, really easy, really simple to use. But we're getting there where I think people always talking

about, oh, you know, I left it over the weekend with a task came back and it had a hundred million

dollars in my account. Neil always going to say that because they're advertising it, but I think we're

getting to a point now where it cannot or make some stuff that we need to do. Yeah, definitely.

But yeah, man, like I think because people are starting to start ramping up now for more like

useful, yeah, every day kind of 100%. People forget tech takes about 10 years to take a real

choke called podcasts were about 10 years in before they really blew up loads of other technologies

are about like Facebook is massive now, but it wasn't as big. But then when it got to about 10,

about 10 years ago, Facebook just went nuts. Do you know what I mean? And then obviously in

star, like blew up, there's a there's a maturation period. Yeah, quite maturation. It's a system

period. And it will usually as well with technology as well. Usually you have to wait until the

technology becomes affordable. Yeah. And I think the audience also has to mature with it as well.

I think if you use it for a while and you get we really understand how to use it. So for example,

to start a Facebook, people didn't know what they're doing. It used to be like, Marcus is hungry.

That was you used to say is at the end of it. That's all you could have. So people didn't even get

it. The start was like, Marcus is does anybody know where to find out that it didn't make sense.

And now it's like or it's and then our Instagram people just used to take pictures of their food

for the first few years. That's all it was. And then now people get it's like a social thing

that they share and stuff have found me, you know, tick tick tock or snapchat just used to be for

people to send Rudy's to each other. I mean, but like now people use it for actual like, you know,

they put together content is advertising on it and sort of stuff. So it takes a real long time

to get serious. And we somehow have managed to loop this back into a serious conversation.

Are you happy to move on? Sure. Is that all right? Yeah, let's go for it. Cool. Let's move on to

a new feature which is called Kriller. Opinions of the way. Why have I called it Kriller? Sean

because we're slowly moving away from the word kill because apparently

it doesn't like it. So how to murder an hour. Yeah, how to how to how to how to

psychopathically slit the throat of an hour. Is that what you should do? Yeah. How to slit the

throat of 60 minutes? Yeah. 60 minute throat sling. Oh, okay. Okay. And welcome to the bad corners

of the internet podcast where we see stuff that you don't want to. This is called Killer Opinions.

Okay. This is where I present to you an opinion Sean. Okay. And all you have to do is react.

Do that. If you feel that you need to step in at any point, Sean, please do so because I know

you don't like to never do that. Okay. As do I.

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Hey, it's Howie Mandel and I am inviting you to witness history as me and my Howie do it gaming

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gaming league dot com. Everybody games.

In. Is it like an in? You're an extrovert, fam. I'm an in. Travert. That's it. Thank you.

So kill your opinion of the week.

The don't talk to me until I've had my coffee types that are insufferable.

Hate to break it to you, but if you think drinking your hot bean juice as soon as you get out of bed

will stop you from being a pain in the ass to coexist with. Then odds are you will already

miserable to begin with. Go and drink some water and take a walk. Do something other than

chugging Colombian laxative and making it other people's problems when you can't get your

grubby mitts and immediately. My immediate thoughts are sounds like you need a coffee.

Have a coffee. We'll come back to this afterwards. I mean, it's one of their ones where I get it,

but it's also. It's also a bit ridiculous. Let's be honest. What is the of that, you know,

the thing of like, you know, I can't function unless I've had X because that's very much an addiction.

Yeah. And sometimes I think people and myself sometimes time might use it because you're just like,

can you just not talk to me for a bit? Yeah. You know, yeah. Yeah, like I know that when I'm tired

and I wake up and I haven't had enough sleep, I'm a little bit more grumpy. Coffee doesn't really fix

that, but a nice warm drink does make you feel nice inside. Do you know what is as well is that

sometimes I get it like it's if you're going to a place of work, sometimes up to the point where

you might come in, get yourself whatever it is you're doing. I don't really want people to come

towards me. Of course. Prior to that. What time is that? Prior to having my coffee, whatever,

eight, thirty or nine, whatever it is. Once I've had my coffee, I feel more ready to face whatever

the day has on offer. But prior to that, I'm not the kind of one that you come to me first,

I'll be like, but I don't know people that are for sure. Because it would be acceptable if you were

like, don't talk to me until I have my morning cracksmith. Do you know what I mean? It's got a slightly

different vibe to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not acceptable. Like, hey, I have a weight to

beaked. Yeah. Yeah. Relax. Excuse me. I don't talk to you until I've had my morning quarter

vodka. Do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, it's not as acceptable. So I guess we, because I am,

I am a, I'm a coffee abuser. I'm currently at the moment. This is. How many cups of your one are

there? Real talk, Sean? Real talk. Been off it for a month, you know.

Of course. Last time I came off it, I got really bad migraines. Real talk. Yeah, that's

actually what happens. That's literally it's the caffeine in it. And they didn't subside.

Went to see a doctor and he said, yeah, have you tried drinking coffee? I said, I come off it.

He goes, yeah, maybe try. And they went away again. But this time around, I've been all right.

I will say to you, though, Sean, it's, it's, it's, people last me what it's like, right?

And I just think it's basically a wake up at the start of the day with a little bit less energy

than usual. And I just get tired throughout the day. There's no ups and downs. There's no like

perks and peaks and troughs and stuff. Yeah, man. You have quite a linear. Yeah. As always,

I don't smash like a lasagna for lunch or something. Carby, right? Which is, I'm like, like,

usually then, like, there's way less of, I don't crash as much. Like, I'm not, and my routine,

my sleep hygiene is a lot better since I dropped caffeine. Don't get twisted, though, brother.

I love drinking a little triple espresso. But you know, at my worst when I was doing, like,

morning radio, I was waking up at four in the morning, sometimes 4.30. So it's at a time when

my body didn't really know if it's late or early, or sometimes I'll do a gig, finish it at night,

club DJ and finish it. Finish it. Finish it. One or two and then, like, go from like two hours

at the road straight into studio. And I think the first thing I'd hit. Maybe it's worse

if I was working from home, actually, but I think the first thing I'd hit when I was working from

home, I hit a double espresso. As soon as I got up, then I hit another double before I went out

the door, get to the studio, have a double, send out the producer to get a quadruple espresso

from Starbucks. They served it. I found out is that's thing, quadruple espresso, nail it.

And I was, I was, I was, it built up today. I wasn't all at once. And I was functioning,

like, what I thought was reasonable. But I probably was quite jumping. I was about to say,

you're probably quite a jittery. Hey, look at the radio station. Hey, come on up. We got on a great

minute. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was a little bit jump. And I want, can I just say one thing I would

say is that, um, I think this was off. It's my, I've been off of Joe Rogan podcast with,

an nutritionist. They spoke about your body, circadian rhythm. And one of the things that they

mentioned was as far as possible, you should try and wait a somewhere between 45 minutes and an hour

after waking up before you have coffee. That's the best time to ask it because what it does is when

when you wake up, your body requires some time to like settle into the day first. And if you don't

and you brush a coffee, it doesn't get that time. And therefore, it's kind of a bit frantic. And

it never, you never, for that day, you kind of settle into your circadian rhythm, such.

Maybe, maybe, maybe that's where I'm at now. I'm smashing the decaf, though. And for those that say,

yes, decaf has caffeine, it's got like 3% of the caffeine across one. So I'd have to drink 20

coffees for one. So perhaps you're like, oh, I can drink some of that. That's like a, that's like

a, you know, that's like a crack addict walking past and getting a whiff of a split in it. It's

nothing. But I mean, coffee doesn't, yeah, I can drink it. I can drink like, no, it's in like,

I can have like a double espresso and then go to bed. Yeah, my uncle does that. My uncle

will have a double espresso. I just go, yeah, yeah. It probably does do something to my someone's

odd or REM sleep. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, why am I in a jungle rave in my head when I'm sleeping

in my dreams? But yeah, there you go. But so, so what we think about a killer opinion,

are we giving it the, or the, there's a new sound effects. I just put on the board, by the way,

what do you think of him? What do you think of that? Are we giving it? Is that good? Are we with

that? Are we not with that? Are we saying that it's a, it's a good, gripe to have? Is it a good

gripe to have? Killer gripe? It's a good gripe. Alright, here's another killer opinion. A burp

is much worse than a fart. Here are a few reasons why I believe this. Four, you can always

stifle a burp. You can't always hold a fart. Allow burp is always voluntary. A fart can be

accidental or literally be painful if you try to hold it and you have much less control over the

volume of a fart. Three, the smell of a burp is way worse. It either smells like puke or a twisted

evil version of what you last ate. A fart has a wide variety of smells and it can smell, it can

smell like nothing at all or it can be an absolute nuclear bomb. Guilty is charged. But even the

worst fart is going to get less gross. Even the worst fart is going to be less gross to me than a

burp that smells like puke. Disgusting puke even. Two, a burp is at face level. Enough said.

One, fart's inherently funnier than burps. If somebody accidentally fart's at an embarrassing time,

hilarious. You silently fart and what are you, you silently fart and waiting for your friend to

smell it? Historical. There's nothing funny about a burp. What do you think about that, Sean?

I don't really, I don't really agree with this one. Yeah, I feel like there's parts of it. I

might run with. I will say this Sean, final point. Farts are funny than burps. I'll give them that.

That's your point. Yeah, that's true. There was a few points earlier on which I can't always hold

a fart. Yeah, I don't really much more about that. There are funny burps. If you have a burp that

comes out of nowhere and then we live a quiet. One of the things is there's, you can always hold a

burp. There's times where people were kind of involuntary way like, oh, then, you know, it's like

most of the times you know when you're going to sneeze, that rare time when you were just like talking

and you're just like, it's not someone's face, so you're like, sorry, I had no warning.

And they just, you offered a bit tissue and they look at it and you're like, oh my god,

I think we're related now, bro. But yeah, I don't know, I think this person just prefers

farts over burps. And I think with farts and burps, it's about the delivery and the recipient.

Yeah, because I think delivering evil ease is probably less painful than receiving any of those

unwarranted in it. Like if someone drops a silent but deadly, yeah, it's not nice, is it?

Funny though, it's not nice though, is it? But I do like a good burp though. Like if I'm by myself,

if I'm drinking a big soda for American fans, yeah, me pop for a British fan. Yeah, but it's not

about when you're on your own things as about when you buy yourself, because burping and farting

when you're by yourself is not, unless it, unless like you're farting and you can't stay in your

own presence, you're like, god damn, that's bad. That's what you need to switch. Whatever you need,

you're allergic to that, bro. That's not true. You're intolerant to whatever you see.

You're probably allowed. Yeah, god damn, that's me. Yeah, that's true. Why is it? I'll put this,

yeah, I don't agree with either. I'll put this to you Sean. And this is for me, I don't know if you

like this. It's like brand new sound effects. If I am I'm walking down the street by myself

in like a crowd by myself and by myself in a crowded area, I'd be less likely to fart.

I'd probably do the general money thing, hold it in and wait till I'm around less people.

If I'm with the lads though, if you're with the lads, if you're with the lads, you try and come up

at the time. I am a crumb dusting criminal, bro.

Yeah, man, like, why is that? Why is it acceptable? Is that just, I don't know. I mean,

I mean, I'm, I mean, you say it's acceptable. It's not something I do.

Well, Sean, you know, no, I don't share the same, the same, the same passion, the same passion.

I mean, Sean, you can, you can say it, Sean in it, but I think we've all got it in our

Senate. Do you know what I mean?

I'm just letting go of you into improving in this and that's the same as I just let go, bro.

Yeah, yeah. That's good. Let go. Let go. That's the best way. I don't know.

That's the way it's let go. But yeah, man, so there you go. Those were a couple of our killer

opinions. Sure. There you go. But yeah, we're not having that one. That's a no in it.

Yeah. There you go. I've got a killer bit for this week before we bounce.

I have been, I went a bit old school.

Like the undertaker. Yeah, last week. Last week I spoke briefly

about my handheld console. And I got sucked into Grand Fifth Auto,

Selendarius. Taking it back to 2004. So, Sean, because that game is 22 years old, almost left

out, there's could be a large number of people that I've never heard of this title before.

So I mean, that's the case. That is wild. But one of the greatest ever games.

One of the greatest ever games. One of the GTA 3. I mean, 3 by city GTA 4.

Selendarius as well. And five. Yeah. For me, Selendarius holds a special place in

Mark because of the radio stations where I'm making. I cannot get over how good. I mean,

quite we can't even call it a soundtrack. Come on. It would. You could.

To call it a soundtrack, but they changed the game. I've been listening to wow, wow,

you'd be young, you'd be a doggie dogs and fucking house. And that's, oh, there's some great

tracks on it. We'll find out on the next GTA, but I don't know how they can afford to license these.

Because basically, they've got like, I've been sent in to space. You know, I've been in a like jar

radio and that jar radio. But like, by the time Selendarius came out, you already knew that if your

game was in this, if your song was in the game, it would get stream millions of times, right?

And you might not ever see my streaming or streamed or listened to or played off the disk millions

of times, right? So really, you need to get a decent payout for it. But now with the new GTA,

just to spin forward to this, yeah, you know, you're going to be in a worldwide phenomenon.

Do do rock star, do you think I have the power to say, listen, we're going to give you so much

exposure, your streams are going to go through the roof. You yeah, drop us piece or if you're a

big artist, you're like, well, I know you want my stuff on there. You better drop me, you know,

X amount of money because I know my, my, I'm going to get played a lot on your stations. I know

that people are going to rotate my, if they're listening to my song, they're going to listen to that

station wall. So it's a weird one in it. I'm like, how do you do licensing? I do have a feeling, though.

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they will look at other forms of content that is made like this on the on the new GTA.

Don't you make sense? No, but nobody makes sense. They did. They had this is not the

San Andreas. This was. Do you remember it was a guy called like. It was like a talk show.

Yeah, that's a show that has to be jokes. Listen to that. So they're going to definitely go

for that. Why that? So there'll be more pod stuff on the new on the new GTA. And also they did

have the links in the radio were hilarious. The ads were hilarious. Oh, so good comedy ads. Yeah.

So I mean, I still remember I still remember a ton of tracks from GTA 3. GTA 3 dude. San Andreas

trust me until until four four five. I'm getting confused now. It's five of the ones that's coming

out. No, five. So five of them was out. Yeah, yeah, we've Trevor. Yeah, yeah, and again, Franklin

and Franklin and yeah, yeah, yeah. The number four that was four was the one with Nico. That was

it. Nico. Yeah, yeah. Cove. I can't remember. Yeah, but I think that was a city. The GTA 4 was sick.

Yeah. 4 was sick. For me, San Andreas is probably my favorite.

Cause I remember I'm going to get into getting hench for a fat chain on also like get a fade.

First time in a game, I can get a trim where I'm like, these are the trims that I could get as well,

like, like, it was like, you got like a flat top with like a chip in it and a fat gold chain.

I got my character hench road around on a BMX as well. Yeah, you've even got like,

because you've got a stat in it. There's one that's like, you got like a sex appeal stat.

There's more like it's jokes. Yeah, but so I didn't. Give me the duckets. I forgot about this

completely. Yeah, but I got stuck on a certain level. Yeah. And I was like, oh, this is pissing me off

when I keep having to try this one level. And then when I spoke to a few friends and they were like,

no, bro, did you not know that that's like the hardest, it's like the hardest mission.

It's like renowned for being the hardest mission. Yeah. And so it's like a bait mission where

you got to go pick up, I think it's big smoke. And then you drive to the train station. And then

these like, Cholo's are like standing on top of the train. And then you just got to jump on the

bike and then you got a cycle. Yeah. No, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's like a scrambler. Yeah. And

you have to try and keep up with the training. And then the donny and the bats got to shoot them. Yeah.

But suppose like, bro, I've tried it bare times. Yeah, it's not quite early on. Yeah, it's quite

it's fairly early, but supposedly I was on to a few mates and they were like, bro, if you look up

online, there's like our long videos of how to do it. And people have come up with like mad ways

of actually like completing it. Not just me then. Yeah. Now back in a day, you just had to keep

doing it, keep doing it. I think when I did it the first time, I fluked it and I landed on the

train. That's what I've been trying to do because if I can get on the train, I can jump off the

bike and just shoot these guys because this donny is useless with the oozee, bro. Yeah. But it's so,

there's so much to unlock and it's so nostalgic. Yeah. Yeah. I'm about it. This is a great game.

What a great game. I can't wait for GTA 6. And then do you know what? I know people are upset

with it getting delayed, but if it means that we get a good sweet thing, make the amount of games

nowadays that come out that are so far away from being finished games, they're like, they're really

and truly there should be better games in it. Yeah. And also games that come out that are just,

like what do you want to turn? Shit. Because they've not worked, sorry, but they're not

optimized. Well, they're not optimized. But they've not even worked. I don't mind not optimized. Give

me that big ass download, yeah. Make it work. Don't give me a game where you're going to only run it

at like 30 FPS. Oh yeah. If I've got like the best bloody PC go in in it, it's like. Yeah, I hear that.

Well, cyberpunk was a great example. And I think PlayStation pulling it from the school gave

everyone in the store, gave everyone a kick up the ass. Yeah, because I think, and that's what I

like rockstar for right where if you like the games or not, they come out and they're at decent

spec. Yeah. And without people like that putting out that quality, it would become the norm.

And we'd be like, oh, I guess that's just what games are like now. I don't mind a little day one

patch. I don't mind. I'll patch up the game. We're talking about we're talking about

unplayable games. We're talking about games which maybe for the first two, three months,

yeah, like have problems with people like I literally can't pay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like play.

So or lion's say we're going to bring it in the future like no man's sky now a good game.

Many years after it came out, first it took when it came out was not it was not what it promised to be.

So remember the way I actually filled it the way they released undisputed

was more of a correct way. Yeah. They were like it is a beta and even the beta that they released

was a fairly decent game. And then as it went along, they, you know, and then when they actually

released the main game, you're like, yeah, this feels like a complete finished game. And that's

when they put it over to console. Exactly. But they're at there. They're there are games testers.

They're people out there that test gaming, right? Or is their job to break the game, spend time

doing that. And then fix it. And if it takes time, just make sure it's a sweet thing, man.

Yeah, me I'd rather take a little while longer waiting for my

GT is what? November. Yeah. Now it's going to be like me in it. Yeah, this moment in time,

it's end of the year. Yeah. I'm actually could be 20 to 27. I don't say that. No, no, I feel like

I feel like it might stick to this date because of the fact that they've started to put the

pre-orders in the stores. Yeah. Also for them, don't forget a big thing about GTA is

if they can drop before the next generation of consoles, they can get to buy two sales out of it

because this GTA 5 has spanned. I had it on Xbox one. No, sorry, I had it on Xbox 360.

There you go. Then I had it on Xbox one and then I had it on PC. There you go. So those people

that hit three consoles. So PS5, PS4, I don't know, I don't know if it's not on PS3, but yeah,

they've had it on PS4. What did it come out? I mean, GTA 4 came out on PS3.

Yeah, did it come out in the PS3? Yeah, probably did because it was on Xbox 360.

Did it come out? What's GTA 5 on the PS3? Yes, oh my god, it won't come out.

This is what I say to people here. We watch all of these BAFTA TV things, which is good,

respect the BAFTAs apart from their questionable editing decisions. The gaming BAFTAs gets no love.

Yeah, I don't understand that. See what that, see, like, I think like movie movies need like

seven or eight billion to turn over every year to be all right. Yeah. Do you know games,

they've put that much money into GTA 6 almost. I think GTA 6 is costing like six billion.

So what it takes to hold up the movie industry for a year, they're plowing into a game that they

can get. And also, like I stand by this, gaming is probably the, at the moment, the only place

where you can put out something and it has real longevity. Again, GTA is, until recently,

I've seen GTA in the top charts in the UK. Bro, it's, it's my genius. They said that the two,

what did you call them? Sorry, 13 years. The two main protagonists of the new GTA is like a guy

but I think it's like a Latino guy and a woman. I think, and I saw that post recently that said,

if, and it told you their names, Lucia and Blar are younger than 32 years old,

they would have not been old enough to buy GTA 5 when it was released. That's mad. That's mad.

That's mad. That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. And to think that 13 years later,

people are still purchasing games, still buying add-ons, they're still creating more content

for the online version. They ain't slowing down, they ain't stopping. I mean, I think it's

second to Minecraft, isn't it? I wouldn't be surprised. That sounds about right. Yeah.

And that is grossing game of all time. And the mods that you have on it online when you play,

like I've played some of those mods where guys like made a bit of London and you can,

and you can go in it and like have groups. But I think people have done like, they've made like a

whole like police force. And then they've made it so like that everyone's got to go and do like a

shift. There's a like a ranger. And they do it. I'm like, yeah. Like a mad, it's actually mad.

Quite a popular radio presenter asked me to come and join them online. And one of these like kind of

like, I forget what they call them actually, what they call them when you do, it's like GTA online,

it's like a server type. I can't remember what it's called. You don't know about me with 10

or 11. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a private server. I'm sorry guys. If I'm if I'm if I'm messing this up

because I did. That's it. It's invite only lobbies. But I don't know something. But this one,

he said to me like, don't say key. You have to say like, I don't know how to do this.

I'll be like, it's your K muscle or whatever, whatever. Like when you're running around the game

and how the game starts anyways, you drop into a city, right? I dropped into the city with no

clothes on the game glitched. So I'm running around when I first dropped in with no clothes on,

I don't know. I got pulled over by the police and like, what are you doing, sir?

And I thought, right, this kind of game sounds really realistic. And I said, oh, sorry, man,

I'm I'm I just I just started playing today. So I don't understand what you're talking about.

So I just started playing that and I realized stuff. My princess said, oh, I just landed here.

My cousin told me he's going to pick me up. But I'm lost. He's like, okay, sir,

need to make sure you put some clothes on. I was like, oh, sorry, there's some kind of glitch

today. He's like, what? I'm sorry. I said, sorry. I must be glitching today, man. I forgot.

I don't know. I lost my clothes, whatever. But they talk. People get really into it,

where people have relationships on there. So people to talk about this whole meta world of

the universe. Yeah. This is where it is at for people play. There's currency on there.

There's gangs. People you people lend each other money. People do dodgy dealings on there.

It's fascinating. That's actually mad. It's actually weird. Fascinating. Yeah.

But anyway, look, sorry, Sean, we were out of town. That's good. Listen, we could have gone on

for ages from water pressure to GTA or an episode. What an episode? Yeah. Make sure if you want to send

your jokes in. It's how to kill you now.com for us last jokes. And who knows? You might be on our

punishment. Do you get me? How long can we keep this awkward wave going on for Sean? Do we start now?

I can start. Okay. Still haven't for those that listen on audio.

Yeah. That's how it's playing our own sessions. It's like for really awkward now, dude.

Yeah. No, I'm stopping. I can't give you a fucking death.

I'm going to finish off a really strong wave.

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Hey, that's the end of the episode. Just a quick reminder that if you want to send

in your own jokes, all you have to do is send them to howtokillanour.com forward slash jokes.

So you go to howtokillanour.com forward slash jokes, fill in the form. Hopefully your joke

will end up on the show. See you next time.