Becoming the Parent You Needed: Nervous System Healing in Your 40s

❤️ Healing doesn’t begin with answers. It begins with awareness of the body, the patterns, and the stories we’ve been carrying far longer than we realize.

In this deeply reflective episode of The Forties Formula podcast, hosts Jasmin Dhillon and Amanda Lim sit down with NUR ADAM, , a trauma-informed therapist and somatic healing practitioner, to explore the powerful and often misunderstood dynamics of the mother–daughter relationship. Nur explains how our earliest experiences shape the nervous system, influence our sense of safety, and quietly guide how we show up in relationships throughout life.

This episode also introduces somatic healing tools that help the nervous system process what it couldn’t before and what it truly means to become the parent you always needed for yourself. Tune in for an honest, grounding conversation that brings clarity to complex family dynamics and offers a gentler, body-led path to healing. This episode is a reminder that thriving in your forties isn’t about erasing the past, it’s about building safety within, one regulated moment at a time.

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CHAPTERS

00:00 – Episode Snippet

00:47 – Introducing our guest, Nur Adam

02:18 – Why the mother–daughter relationship feels so intense

09:59 – Provision vs emotional connection

12:51 – Advertisement: Love, Indus

13:39 – How unhealed trauma shows up in the body

23:43 – Titration, pendulation, and resourcing

26:20 – Why slow healing is safer and more effective

30:50 – Advertisement: Cozy Earth

32:08 – Self-regulation before repairing relationships

34:00 – Signs of a healthy and secure mother–daughter bond

36:08 – Fuel Your Forties: How food impacts nervous system regulation

38:15 – Emotional eating as a form of escapism

39:20 – What led Nur into trauma and somatic healing work

41:20 – Hot or Hype Segment

43:14 – The 40s Formula: curiosity, play, and nervous system regulation

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