Guess the Lines Week 1, Plus Favorite NFL Futures With Cousin Sal

0:00The Bill Simmons podcast is presented by Fandall, the NFL is here and it's the most rewarding season ever on Fandall with the all-time Fandall Rewards Club. Every eligible bet can earn you points. Win or lose, you still get points. The more points, the bigger the rewards you can unlock. Get to fandall.com slash BS to start earning with Fandall Rewards Club. Twenty-one plus select states are 18 plus DC, Kentucky, Wyoming. Game problem call 100 Gamber call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat Connecticut. We're back baby.

1:12Year 20. Guess the lines. I'm Bill Simmons, that's Cousin, Sal. Yeah. Just wanted to mention four podcasts for me this week. We got Sunday night right now live on Netflix. I'm going to do something Tuesday morning and then Wednesday night Thursday and be live after both games. So a big four spot and then you're going to be on the ringer gambling show now called ringer wise guys. We'll be live on Twitch. We have a whole plan for the big Friday weekend show. The games are starting. Do you like this Wednesday Thursday thing? Three days. I kind of do. I like it. I mean, we waited long enough. Eight months of soccer and horseshit basketball. No offense. We're good. We're good. Mondays very excited. And this is emergency podcast because Roger Goodell got extended, right? That's what this is. He got extended over Christian Gonzalez. I have no idea if I'm akay from found out my corner back for this Seattle game. So . And then we have our fantasy draft on Tuesday to. So we. Yeah. We got games, a games Thursday night. All kinds of stuff to talk about. We have an action packed plan for this, by the way.

2:15We're new guess the lines first. Mm hmm. And then afterwards, we're going to have our annual futures draft, which we usually, we usually do closer to the AFC NFC thing, but the season, I can't remember I'd ever started in this late. I know there are reasons for that with the calendar, but we're going to get started. Yeah, shame on the powers that be for no, don't ever start at this late again. Like we're ready in July. All our research is done. We have. I really felt ready this week. Like I was ready to get going, but I know with the Labor Day, I was watching college football, watch college football all day yesterday. You see a lay one and a, dramatic, pulled away from Cal in the second half, that Cal, that was fun. The Michigan game. Before we get to the lines, what was your take on the Michigan game and did you lose money? No, I didn't lose money, but I just, you know, my take is, okay, a couple things. One, how many should never be completed? Like it should be like one in a hundred, not one in ten. So play some F and defense. That's, yeah, that's my big takeaway. Secondly, can we get the stadium clock with the official clock to sync up? Like you and I, if we put

3:19our iPhones on a desk, it's going to go to eight o'clock at the exact same time, even though if you're AT&T and I'm rising or you got your phone wherever and I got my, why can't we get that to sync up? And then all this nonsense goes away. And Michigan's not that good is the other take over, right? Like Western Michigan really took it to them because that's one of the tough games that you see a lay schedule is they have to go to Michigan. And then after you watch that yesterday, it's like, ah, they're feeling less scared of that one. Michigan people going crazy. Yeah, we did it. Take that screw you in the ones I was like, hey, you have six losses on your schedule. Hey, and B, you really lost that game because you stormed the field after beating Western, F and Michigan. Right. That's a loss. Sorry. I also felt like we watched a lot of these. That was one of the only times I've seen them be like, oh, no, actually, there's a split second left. One more play. You see when that's anywhere near zero, the games over everybody walks on the field, all that stuff. You don't guess the lines first. So background, if you've never watched this before, because we are doing this on Netflix this year. We guess the lines. We send them to each other.

4:24Neither of them look, I try to be surprised. You look after I send the lines. And we have done this now for 20 years. And it started back when we were working together at Jimmy Camelive. You were doing it on your own with Parlay Kid. We would send an office. We had deaths right next to each other. And you'd get a USA today on a Monday USA today. USA. That's an ass. Yeah, I explain to people what that is. So USA today was a newspaper that looks back the day people would read a newspaper and said it on the online. And you would read the lines and out guests and we would go back. And then when I stopped working at Jimmy Camelive, you just started calling me on Sunday night. We started doing it. And then we started doing it one side of podcast. This is year 20. It's an actual anniversary. It's really excited. There's a lot of pride involved, even though we really anyone could cheat at any time because every line is available from now until January. So, but we really do our best. I don't know. We avoid like seven months worth of people cheating on our behalf. Yeah. I mean, people don't believe us. Like we're on gambling threads where, you know,

5:25somebody will bring up some and moves back. Hey, get that off here. Like, we really want to wait. I did see the pat Seattle line early. It was mistakenly. It was on a pat thing. Okay. So I told you that ahead of time. So we're just going to call that a draw. I have not seen any other other lines until this weekend after I sent you my picks because, you know, I wanted to start thinking about them. And so I looked at some of them for teaser potentials. But I'm going to pretend to be surprised for most of these. And year 20, I think I'm 15, three and one or something over the 19 years lost. I don't know. Probably something. Who won last round? I don't remember. Isn't that bad? Like we don't even have any stakes, anything. I'm talking about all this pride. I can't remember. We may have even tied. I think you won. No, you won. You think I won. It's like it's like in wrestling when we just have these title matches, but it just ends up being a count out like they would do it in the 70s and 80s. So because it's ours to count it out. I keep you by count out. I can't take the strap off. I can't take it. Couple of things for week one just

6:29to remember. And we'll talk about this all week on our shows. But the week one, the visual home underdogs, usually want to grab those. And we'll see if we have any coming up just in general underdogs over basically touched down or more. Pretty favorable. I don't want to read all the percentages and records because nobody wants that. But it's just two things to keep in mind. It feels like every year, two or three of those, two or three of those get you. And in general, the underdogs, it's a little shaded. It's like, what is it? Like 55% the center something like that. And it's a bummer too. Because the seven plus point underdogs are the teams we hated when we did the over under win totals, right? Like, I don't like the browns. I'm not taking the car. No, you know, then, but yeah, no, they do cover. They'll necessarily win. And the big thing we're going to be looking, well, a bunch of things. First of all, there's some great matchups. But there's also, we, we, we bookmarked this last year. The game that ends up meaning the exact opposite of what it seemed like after week one. And last year was Raiders Pats. The Raiders won in New England.

7:34And it just seemed like, oh, the P caro. Oh, my God. And then, oh, the Pats, same old Pats. Maybe it was in Mayows fault. And then by week 10, it seemed like the most ridiculous result of the season. So we're going to try to figure that out as we guess the lines. First, I had a couple of mail back questions really quick before we go. And this is a really important one. Barkley brought this up on my podcast from Kyle Rector. Is Jerry Jones still with us? How many years has he owned the Cowboys? And we haven't heard of Pete. Interesting. So Barkley's theory is he actually likes his team this year. And he scaled back. You're talking about the same. One drop, right? Charles Barkley. Okay. All right. Jones is like, I actually like what we did. I'm not going to be a problem this year. Have we heard from him? You follow the Cowboys much more close than I do. Has he had a press conference? Where is he? What's happening with him? He's not doing as many. He would do these weekly interviews on the local Dallas stations, not really doing those. Parley that with the fact that,

8:37you know, last August, I think it was really right about this time of the year. We're in September. But he, uh, yeah, he went behind my comparisons agents back and tried to talk right. Then he went to the mother or the family. Like it was, it was always about, I think you're right. And whichever Barkley you're talking about, I think he's right too. Well, the thing is, we always used to have a joke in mid August that Jerry just would make a decision. Like I'm going to lead first take for three straight days. So I'm going to do something. I mean, they're going to decide I'm not getting me an extension to somebody I'm obviously giving an extension to or I'm going to get into it with somebody. He just didn't do it this year. Kyle Rector actually said someone get Pablo Torres to get to the bottom of this. That was funny. He added that. Pablo Torres, big week for him. But Pablo Torres, that could be a good podcast. If Jerry, we don't hear from Jerry by week four, I must feel like that's an emergency episode of Pablo's plot. Where did this guy go? I like that. Listen, whatever takes Pablo's attention away from the two of us, I think is a good thing. That'd be great. Yeah. Pablo, I mean, this was this Cooper thing. I still can't believe it.

9:45Not only was Pablo right, but on top of it, the Quippers, I can't even tell you the text threads amount. I talked about a little of my pot on Thursday, but the fans are outraged. Everyone's like, get this is like get us out of this. It's like being at a restaurant where they tell you you had a reservation for seven, 30 and they're like, sorry, we're not going to be able to see you day 30 and just like, just get me my car. I want out. Get me out of this. That's yeah. Every quipper fan. Pablo should be the interim owner, I think of the team. I think that should be his prize for cracking the store. That's a good idea. Make it like the front office guy, him and Sam and Coppupman, I would go for that. It's so fun. You and I and House were talking about the Sean Watson has any player in the four major sports crippled their franchise for as long as the Sean Watson has that contract that trade, whatever it is. They would probably screw it up. Yeah. Now it's cool. Now they're one too. You could pick whoever wants one. The only other mailbag I just want to throw at you because I was like when people call us out together. Leo from Pembroke Mass called us the nickdames ours.

10:51And he said, I'm going to throw a literal dart against the Simmons and South nickname board and see if it sticks. Jackson Dart as we know is a reckless idiot daredevil much like evil can evil. But he might be as the kids say and South might say mid. I give you mid evil can evil. Oh nice. That's a Jackson Dart nickname. Mid evil can evil. It's a thinker. Can I can we do it? What's this guy's name? You can workshop it. It's Leo from Pembroke Mass. You can work. I don't want to do anything right away. Yeah. Yes, because we play the Giants in six days and seven days. So I'm I'm I'm I'm about medieval. Good. Yeah. It throws for four. That's a good point. All right. Guess the lines. We make guesses whoever comes closest wins year 20 Wednesday night. Seahawks Patriots. It is in Seattle. The Super Bowl champs are eight, four and three against the spread in the kickoff game. I have no idea if my starting all pro quarter back is going to be

11:51playing in this game. It's been just the weirdest thing I've ever watched. Like witherspoon got this giant extension. I think he has the same agent as Gonzalez. It's an argument who's better witherspooner Gonzalez. You can make a case either way, but they're both young, same draft, equally really, really, really good elite cornerbacks. Seattle immediately paid their guy. No, I'm going to not pay their guy and I have no idea if he's going to play with all that set cell. I'm going to I we tied on this already, but it's Seattle three and a half. I would have guessed if I hadn't seen the line, probably a whiff fire, I probably would have said four. Did you think three and a half? I think I want to say four or two. It's weird. It's exactly the same as the Super Bowl, or at least what it opened that, but yeah, well, I couldn't people go eight months without sending you the line. Isn't anything sacred? I saw it on Patriots Twitter. I saw one of the guys I thought I talked about it. I just couldn't avoid it because he did the thing you just did about the exact same line as the Super Bowl. Yeah, right. I try to get amnesia if I see any number, but I couldn't avoid it. I almost forget. Yeah, that's a tough one to

12:51forget, but I almost forget. Did you say eight, four, one? I wrote that the defending champ is 17 and four as a designated home team in the last 21. I guess that's before they still maybe in this Thursday game. Yeah, I had to kick off game. Kick off. That's a little different thing because sometimes they would have this on a Sunday. I want to say this. I think the Pats are a live dog in this one. I'm not saying this is Pats Van Bill. Seattle has some secondary stuff going on. They have. Sharpenays is not, you know, not going to be there yet. They're basically riding this rookie running back. And the Pats have eight months to think about this game in Revenge. I don't know. I just, I love the Seahawks. I like their overs. We talked about it. We're going to talk about them more in the futures thing. But I like catching them here instead of week 12. I guess would be my point. I like it. And that's fair. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like they don't have their stuff set on. They thought the safety they took in the second round was going to actually really play for them. He's out for the area broke his ankle. I think the cornerback stuff. So a little shaky with them. So it's a nice spot for the Pats. Devils advocate, devil's advocate,

13:55Drake, maybe because there isn't as much time in between the Super Bowl and you know, game one because he's going to be a little scared again when he sees that defense. Can get through that where drops the ball. So I guess just rooting against Drake. Ma no. That was so like this. That was great. I never even rooting against any of your quarterbacks. You should try it. It's fun. Thursday night. The Rams are playing the 40 diners in its in Australia. And both teams have done different travel plans for this. You guys talked about it a little on ringer wise guys on Friday. This has become the most fascinating strategy thing. It's all I can't, I can't believe how different the two things is. And it's one game whoever wins that will just now become the strategy for the rest of mankind. The Rams have decided to fly in 24 hours for the game. And then just get the fuck out right after. And the 49ers are going to get there. They're going to try to acclimate. I've asked around. I don't know if you've asked around. But anyone I know who's done this flight thinks this is insane by the Rams. Like actually, I've jetbly insane. What's your

14:57take? My take is I want to write down every week the big, big three narratives of the week. And if you bet accordingly, how do you do? I bet you don't do it as well. And this narrative is like you said, the Rams are getting here too late. It's a little bit of an arrogant move by the Rams. And for the 49ers, it was easy. Let's fly as far away from that cancer box as always. We can on a practice field. But yeah, I think you need that flight. This is not like a three hour flight. Like, you know, this is like from Philly to Miami or something. This is kind of, I mean, you're going to want to stare at the toilet moving backwards for three days before you want to practice. Like, this is a lot of good stuff to look at. What's the furthest you've flown? Probably Hawaii. Like why? No, we, we, oh no, you're even on the Europe. What was that 11 hours? That's right. Yep. I just don't 24 hours. And I can't really sleep on plans to begin with. And I feel like I would lose my mind. I heard Pellicero was talking about this on the

15:57ringer in a fell show because he's, he's got to go. He's going for Netflix. Yep. And it was an interesting like watching strategy for this where some people think don't watch movies because movies have to start and finish and movie and you're like, oh my god, I still have 20 hours. Like watch TV shows. Mm-hmm. It's more addictive. So watch a show where you have to be like, oh, I got to finish and try to just go in like an eight episode binge. My point is like this is the guy. It's so long you have to think about shit like this. And I just, I don't understand. I think it's so herring and by them to do this. The other thing is like the 49ers were smart about it because a lot of those guys, they're banged up every preseason, right? They have 10 days going in who are questionable and they're probably like, hey, we got to get them. If we could leave in June, let's do that because who knows if they're going to survive this flight. For the others, why don't you get away from their practice field? Yeah, they left it July. We may have to get like our practice squad guys in there because I don't know if anyone's going to make it to the finish line. They might actually become normal human beings again after

17:00a week away from the electromagnetic, magnetism. I can barely speak. I mean, it's just this is like, you know, I wouldn't have taken this as a ramps home game. The ramps forfeited this game as a home game, right? And now it's even less of a home game because they're getting that late. They're giving themselves every disadvantage they can. You guys had a really good conversation about this on Friday or whatever Thursday when you did the NFC West and ring our wise guys. And we talked about it too last week. I always get a little nervous with the super teams thing. The line is super high and we'll probably, I know I have one in our futures draft. This feels like a nice time to catch them too at the start of the year with all the hype. Anyway, I did Rams minus four for my guess. What'd you have? We split this. I said three and it's three and a half. See how that works right in the middle. You agree with that? I'm trying to think if they had a Australian thing messed it, messed it up at all. If they had an actual home game, is it four and a half five? If it's in LA. Yeah.

18:07Four and a half. Yeah, five. It's in the bag as soon. Yeah, they may have screwed themselves here. This is the healthiest of 49's will be all year. So if you had to bet an underdog between Pats plus three and a half and Niners plus three and a half, like, you know, the time is the Friday, but where are you? Are you leaning or do either of those like tasty? Just say one. You don't have to say San Francisco, but I really want to monitor this narrative, this popular narrative thing and see like this is a top three. Would you agree this is a top three narrative? The Rams getting there late. Like we should keep track of the other. Oh, I had convert like any time a narrative can cause me to have a conversation with my wife. I feel like that's a huge one for the NFL. I was like, what do you think of this? Niners left six days before the games. The Rams are just saying, fucking going right in. Which team would you bet on just knowing that? She's like, that's crazy. The first day you're there, you're head spinning like you're trying. I mean, I was just embossed in for five days. I woke up at, you know, six o'clock, I don't know where I was. And I was only

19:10gone five days and it was in the same country. You should tell her like, honey, I took your advice. We bet $600,000 on the 49ers. Tell her Friday morning. See what she says. Winter loose. Well, these two games are great. Yeah. Like we're two for two. And then the Sunday marquee game which I have as the Texans and the bills in Houston. And I think that we have two different games. We have though what the fuck just happened game which we covered with Raiders Pats last year. We'll come up with candidates for that. Texans bills in Houston has all the makings of the overreaction game. Whoever wins this game, it's going to be Sunday night, Monday, Tuesday. This is it. The AFC runs through them and it doesn't matter which one wins. The AFC is going to run through one of them. And the other way, well, the loser isn't a little bit of trouble here. Right. Look at their schedule. We're going over the loser schedule. No question about it Sunday night. Right. Yeah. Because the Texans lose, Texans lose the CJ Straub conversations start that night.

20:15Right. Right. When we're doing guest aligns on Sunday night, the CJ Straub will be involved five minutes. The bills lose. Then you can zag with them. McDermott, he was the fog. I have been their defense look worse and DJ Moore didn't help them. So I can only do so much. Yeah, I could hear it. Let's just do that podcast now. And then we'll do guest aligns. We'll do all 12. There it is. Yeah. I had Texans minus one and a half at home. Yeah. So this is our first tic tac. I had Buffalo minus one to half. And I'm right. Now I could tic tac over to your direction. But right now, wait a second. The Texans, a Super Bowl favorite. Yes. In some respects. The team that I would certainly front coming out of the AFC, the AFC favorite, I guess. A team that I think will be in the Super Bowl against Seattle. Okay. Is not even a home favorite against the bills who lost to who they lose to in the playoffs. Dense. Right. Denver. Yeah. Very last minute. Yeah.

21:17I just think Houston's going to be in the Super Bowl. They have to make it one and a half. So if this game was in Buffalo, it would be Buffalo by three. Yeah. I guess so. I guess so. Well, I don't agree with this at all. So this is the only week I'm kind of not going to be five points off on a spread because I sort of know I don't have a model. But the power rankings are kind of right there in terms of over under winds, right? And I think it's a little bit of a break for Buffalo getting this defense before they get in a rhythm. I know you could say the same about an offense, but this is why they'll play Houston on the turf in September. I think the same kind of thing. That's when I would sign up for that. I thought defenses were better coming out of the gate than offenses. I just miss a minute. I don't know if it'll be shut down just, you know, two scores of game like this early on. That's a great game. I have two watchables. I think this is also a really good game just from a, I don't know what's going to happen with these things. You're going, you're going Texans teaser. No question, but not north of seven.

22:18If it stays, if it remains one to half. So we changed the rules for ringer 107 this year. Wait, does everyone see that rules, right? I like them. Yeah. I guess we can announce this right now. This is this is huge. We talked fandal our friends into giving us a very special price on teasers this year. Yeah. And I think it's going to be for bets up to $50. We are bringing back the teaser. This is a huge passion point of us. We used to love teasers. Basically everybody changed the juice on them. And it's a little like what happened in Blackjack where all of a sudden we were, we weren't getting the same price when you get a Blackjack. Can't find any three to two tables. Yeah. Yeah. What happened to three to two? That's we grew up on three to two. Now you're going to be six to five. So we asked fandal when we talked to them and we lobbied them and we convinced them to let us bring back teasers this year. So the juice is going to be minus 110 on every on any one teaser that you do for the week. You use our little code. We'll we'll announce all that stuff

23:19later in the week. So you're suggesting Texans to plus seven and a half maybe even take the over underdown, put it with another game. And that could be a potential fun one for your first teas. Far be it from you or I to explain the way to play a teaser. But the experts say that that's the way to do it. If you take the plus six with a plus one and a half if you adjusted six points, you're crossing the three, you're crossing the four, you're crossing the six, you're crossing the seven. And you like used to win this game anyway. So that would be the way. And people said you announced straight up. You like fandal hasn't a minus 110 big deal. Everybody else has these minus 139 minus 140. Right. That's good. That's good. One thing with the teaser. The funniest thing with the teasers like twice a year, half and I tease somebody through the zero. And Rahim reacts like we threw a Molotov cocktail in his apartment. It's the most types. Nothing upsets Rahim. Paul more than crossed. So basically if you had like Texans were minus two and a half and I tease them

24:23the plus three and a half. That's a good way to basically Molotov cocktail Rahim. He can't remember from that for a half hour. So one thing you can't do. You can't tease through the zero ever. Oh man, you're losing a point. You're losing a point. It's a five point. It's not a six point. I'll do it again this year. I'm not going to apologize either. The other rewatchables game we have or watchables game. It's in Indianapolis. Our first, I guess our second home underdog. I'm guessing it's Ravens at Indianapolis. And I think the Ravens are going to be favored. And I have the Ravens favored by two and a half. Let me find this. All right, I add four. I thought the Ravens by four and it's three and a half. So I get this by a half a point. Three and a half. Yep. Oh, I've skipped I somehow. I'm so out of practice. So I skipped the other one. Sorry. I'm going to do that one first. Yeah. Baltimore three and a half.

25:24Indianapolis, a team that I think a lot of people are pretty lukewarm on. Everyone wants to see Daniel Jones. Everyone's excited about the Ravens. Everybody already has them penciled in for six and one starts seven. I have multiple Ravens bets. God, I hate the hook. I hate that this is a three and a half. This makes me nervous. This feels like a classic. I don't know. I don't like it. So don't you feel like just what do you like it or not? It's a team you like. If it's a team you picked last week to go way over the total or over the total versus a team you picked to go under. Just go with what you have right for week one. Like if you have to look stupid, then it's on you for wasting research for three months. That's kind of what I'm doing here. That was my column. I wrote I'm in two thousands. I wrote the Symbatic's column and it was basically like you have the whole offseason to figure out who you like and you got to stick to your guns the first two three weeks. So it's the only time we're going to be right and I feel like Daniel Jones. This is another narrative

26:25right? Either he gets buried by the media or praised as an exam Donald. I feel like there's no in between right? I will probably my guess is I would probably think the Raven's money line and put that with something because the hook scares me. He's at zero. Were you up or down on the courts? I can't remember. No, I'm down. You were under right? Yeah. One of my two wonders. Yeah. Okay. The other watchable is an awesome game. Bengals bucks. Fantasy guys all over the place in this game. It's in Cincinnati. The Bengals just continue to be the sexiest offseason team. Everybody's just all in. People love them and everybody loves the bucks at the ringer too. I heard your NFC South pie. I talked about it. You were you had the NFC South when we did overunders. Everybody going seven and 10. I made an passion case why I thought Tampa was great value. Even if you look this weekend, Tampa over eight and a half. So just to go nine and eight in a shady division, it was still pretty good

27:27odds. I think it was like plus one 10 just for them to win nine games. I'm in on Tampa. I was cyclone. DeBundo was also in on them because I was waiting for him to make some long and passion case why they were full schooled. But unlike him, I like the front seven. I think they're going to score. I think Baker was hurt last year. I'm not scared of the bulls thing yet. They usually start out fast and then fade as the year goes along. I don't know. I just like this spot for them. So I went Bengals minus three was my pick. All right. Bengals minus three now. I lost this. I said Bengals minus three. It's three and a half. So we split it. God, I haven't hit one yet. I don't know, man. I just I'm really going to when you tell me you're like, oh, I made all these NFC South bats futures. I'm like, you get so upset. I don't tell me it's like you're telling me like you're cheating on your wife. I'm like, don't even I don't want don't tell me. I don't want to hear it. I'm going to do bad things with that information. I think you compare betting on the NFC South to adultery. It's worse. It's probably like some kind of second degree.

28:32Somebody's got to win the NFC South. I know. They just they hurt my feelings so much. The box. They were better than every team last year. I know. They had a good point about how bad their defense was. So there were basically 28th EPA the last six seven games. I can't defend that. I think my sag on that division is it's been so bad and so erratic and so stupid for so many years. It's got to come around. It's not scared everyone off from even looking at logic. I just think if you look at it logically, they easily have the most talent. It's not even close. They have like their draft their way better. Baker being healthy, I think really matters. I like some of their skill guys. I just to me, they're a live dog in that game. And the team they're playing is similar to what you're saying, right? A lot of talent up and down the roster for Cincinnati. At least offensively. You know, I know Jack Taylor always wants to fast forward to week four because we go one and two. Oh, I got some I got some funny Bengals fan emails. Yeah.

29:32That were upset that I was so down on their offensive line. What? They were like, is eating. They're like, it's not good, but it's not bad. You're wrong. Our offensive line. If you look at stat A, stat B, stat C, even Brandon Thorne who's who is the guy I get most of my offensive line opinions from because he's the best at this. He studies it. Go check out his sub stack. If you love offensive line stuff, he DM me and was like, they're not that bad. Like they're not like they were a couple years ago. He wasn't saying they were good, but he was like they're not that bad. Sachs and pressure rate. Like how deep do I have to look into this? They do have a couple above average guys on the line. I don't know. They as bad as Washington. No. Are they as bad as first four of the five draft picks defensively? They were awful too, right? They scored like 27, the 33 two games in a row and a 37 two games in a row and lost both

30:33games. So they between the offensive line and defense, that's what I worry about a little because they load up on defense. But I'm still trying to figure out though. Yeah, the whole thing where we made the defense better because this will make it easier for Joe Burrow. Right. Okay. So your defense is going to get off the field more often. So that means Joe Burrow's on the field more often. How does that make it easier for him if you're still not blocking for them? They claim they're going to block from my memory of the Bengals the last couple years is Joe Burrow just running for his life over and over again and taking huge hits. Yeah. I don't see the camera on Burrow as they drafted defense after defense after defense. He's saying, oh, this is going to help me. This is great. You know what helps some some some blockers. Anyway, we'll see that one. Bucks is looming as my favorite one. So with Ringer 107, we're going to do four picks. I'm doing four picks with House on Thursday night. You're going to do four picks on your show, Ringer fantasy, Ringer and a foul. We're all going to make four and then we're saving the fifth spot for Sunday morning because we

31:34want to get more info. That was our biggest. The thing we're all frustrated with last year is locking these picks on Thursday and you and House and I would be texting each other on Sunday morning like, God damn, like I really like this team. I wish I had them and whatever. So now that's what we're doing. Okay. We're going to take a break. We're going to come back. We're going to finish the Guestalines and we're going to do the futures draft. Let's do it all. This episode is brought to you by Mikalobe Ultra. It's a small moment where we have the most fun sometimes, like having a friendly little competition with your friends. It's used the fastest or we can put better in the backyard or who can get to somebody's house or the better route. Whatever it is, even better. If you put some Mikalobe Ultra on the line or refreshing way to up the stakes, like me and House are going to pick games against each other on Thursday. It's the Senate fell season. Maybe we keep track in ways of Mikalobe Ultra six packs. I'm happy to do that. Maybe Mikalobe Ultra will make a special BS podcast or ringer six packs and then we could

32:37we could barter them back and forth. Whatever it is, by the way, they should do that for us. Superior is worth playing for Mikalobe Ultra Superior Light beer and her for a chance to win Superior Soccer Basketball Golf Prizes at Mikalobe Ultra.com slash Superior Access, Enjoy Responsibly Copyright in 2026. And has her Bush Mikalobe Ultra Light beer, St. Louis, Missouri. So I was telling you under the break about my contact one situation. But I have these, I have terrible eyesight as you know, like really, really awful eyesight. And my contacts have to be, I have to order them in advance. It takes them like four or five weeks for them to make my contacts. I can't just be like, oh, I'll get them online. Like they actually have to like, you know, I'm like minus 10. Every six months I'm supposed to change them. I thought I changed them in March, but it was actually January. So I realized this four weeks ago, I'm on month nine with these contacts and the new contacts are coming this week. And I'm now at the point where

33:38it's like, I can't really read that well anymore. I'm like, it's like sliced alone. Next to Adrian's bed trying to read it as she's in the coma. It's just like blotchy. So anyway, that's why I'm squinting and looking because I have four more days. My contacts are like about literally about to die in my ass. Oh my god. Yeah. It takes up, but there's no, there's no temporary fix. Okay. Oh, I guess you have the ones in now, right? I really need, I really need to figure out my thing. There's got, how is, how have they not figured out eyesight better at this point? I don't know. Remember when they were doing the surgery and it was making the lasix? Yeah. Yeah. The lasix, but I'm not eligible for that because my eyes are so bad, but how would they just not figure that out any of this? Anyway, that's a try pouring hot water and lemon in your eyes. Maybe that's what it is. Oh, I'll work on it. All right. Guess the lines. Fairly rewatchables Detroit is home for the New Orleans Saints. And I think rewatchables, like they're going to make this a movie. I can't see. I can't see if it's rewatchables or watchables. Fairly

34:41watchables. Lions Saints. I, uh, I got movie with, with God, James and Williams. I'm probably too low. I did Lions minus six and a half. Uh, no, you're right on. I went seven. I went the full seven and it's six and a half. You got it. Oh, my first one. Um, this is just, it's a flashing neon sign saying, please tease me. Please, please make this farty your first tease in the ringer one of seven lions right down to zero point five points. Um, I really wanted to like the Saints in the off season. I know we talked about it on the pod. And I just, I don't really like the stuff they did in the off season. Uh, I thought on, on the wise guys pod. I think it was Rahim talking about how Shucks 26. Yeah. He's like, oh, young QB finishing your strong. It's like, well, he's going to be 27 next year. So maybe he kind of is who he is. But, uh, I don't know. This feels blow out. He to me. I have written down that this could be,

35:45I know you like, Tampa a lot. And forget my opinion on the NFC South, but this could be a shaky game preview. This could be one of our first shaky game previews. It's a great thing. Somehow when that dogly bad, this is a division. All right. Next fairly watchable bears at Carolina. Uh, I have this peg does a another home dog. I had bears minus two and a half. You got it exactly. Why isn't this four? Cause I don't think people trust the bears. I trust the bears. I have overs for them. They're going to come up in my future draft later. If I can see what I wrote, because I'm just going to blotches squeakly. That's all about a focus. You can't read. All right. I, I, I, I should have done the rock. I should have worn my leather leather jacket in my little cap and just tried to send the reading to Adrian. You can't see bill. I can't see it all. The context to learn here. You're going to kill you. You can't see.

36:47This happened to me 10 years ago for different reasons when my essay change. When I turned 45, remember Daniel told us that was going to happen. Right. Right. And my essay change, I thought I had a brain tumor and it was just my eyes. Actually, we're getting better. Yeah. So I went for like a minus 10 app to minus 10, but it was where in the stronger context. And I was like, why does it take five weeks? Is your, I don't know. Australia, but I don't know. The third week for my contacts and one day for the Rams to go to Australia and play football game. Okay. Lions look very teased worthy. Uh, bears, panthers do not know. I'm saying bears, panthers also looks teased worthy. If you like the panthers, and you want to pull them to plus eight and a half. This is one of those games where I have a big opinion on one and a lesser opinion on the other. And I'm just going to go with the, I'll tell you, I'm going to go with the bears here. But I do wonder. There's another narrative. Is this the, you know, is this one of the team can't stand to play in 103 degree heat game? There's always one. So glad about this. Lamarie would talk about this every year.

37:49Carolina, Tampa, Miami. Where's the answer? Jackson. Jackson bill. Yeah. Those four, you just, you have to look at the weather as it gets within three days. And if any of those are going to be 80, like 82, 83 or above, you're going to have the road teams going to have problems. And we see it and they die in the second half. And it's just a thing that happens. Yeah. It's like, yeah, the thermometer says 83, but trust me, it's 177 degrees on the field. Right. Who's the former kid? They go to J. Philly or that, uh, that other guy they have. And it's like guys, it's so hot down here. I can't even see. Yeah. And then you're like, no, I bet on the road team. The nipples are out. Yeah. That feels bears panthers. It feels like a stay with me. Next one is Jaguars Browns. I put this as a fairly watchable only because of the Sean on the road. This weird Jaguars team. This has all the makings of that Raiders past game from last year where everybody puts the Jaguars and this looks like a let's be careful to me game.

38:51I have Jaguar seven and a half over the Browns. Yeah. You got it. I said seven. I thought that was enough. It's, uh, it is seven and a half exactly. But I'm on fire. What? Yeah. This is bad now, right? What do you have? I have three in a row. Yeah. It's six to five. Okay. Yeah. All right. But yeah, I just, um, I think this is a must watch the Sean until, until we've had enough making fun of it. I'll put it in the four box in the early slip. I didn't tell you this, but my daughter has a game on Sunday. Should you be saying this? On Sunday at 11 a.m. p.t. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. This is for some reason. I think that's happening. So I'm going to have her game on the big TV. I'm going to have the red zone on another TV. And then probably Bill's Texans and those would be my three. Wow. I can't not put her on the big TV.

39:52Like this is her last season. No, you have to watch, but can't they get you? You could get them to move it. Can't you? Honestly, I'm completely outraged by the Emerson coaches on this. Coach Souven coach Collins just didn't all time outrage to put this against the week one NFL. How is it going to get off? Honestly, it feels like a personal attack. Yeah, of course. No, it's like I think it's the only Sunday afternoon game they have. And for some reason, week one head to head against all this stuff. So I will be by myself. I don't want to be near anyone. And I feel like everything's going to be tied together in some way. I don't know if there's a way to parlay her game with any of these games. Sorry. I don't watch just Sean throw four in exceptions. I didn't really score the second half. The shot the shot was going for a fifth interception. I had to switch it. Jaguars, brouts. Jaguars look like a stay way. All right. Packers at Vikings. Yeah. I think this is going to be another home dog, South. A lot of the Vikings, I think,

40:57out of the 32 teams, I think have had the widest array of opinions in all the preseason pods. I people are like adamant that they love the Vikings this year. And another people are like, that team's going to suck. Been on a talent. I've only heard the former that, you know, this is all their defense. They know what they're doing. Nobody can name three good guys in their defense, but the defense is awesome. It's such a step up. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, Flores doesn't matter who he has. That's what it matters a little bit who he has. Plits and schemes are the best. Yeah. I don't really know how they won those last four games. And Kyle Murray is a step up. But he's also, we talked about last week by every metric. He's not going to make Justin Jefferson. Yeah. A superstar again. Packers feeling a little nobody believes in us too. Everybody's kind of kicked them in the curb. Parsons isn't coming back until midway through the year, etc. I have Packers minus two over the Vikings. Probably too high. All right. I have to stare at this now. Because I don't really believe it. I had Packers by one and a half. And it's Vikings by

42:00one and a half. Whoa. That's in the tick tack. I guess because there's a lot of Kyle Murray buzz. May he hasn't been a one point favorite since some and I see a lot of a lot of I don't love the Packers buzz too with no Parsons. Yeah. Right. Their defense without a. Okay. We lost the home dog. Yep. This last one. I've already made the teas with this team. I put them with I put them in a money parlay with UCLA last night. Thanks again to Bob Chesney. Eagles home for Washington. I feel like this particular matchup has lost everybody significant amount of money over the last 10 years. It's true. How many times like what what is going right in an Eagles Washington game from a betting standpoint for anyone you know including us? I can't think of one thing. Yeah. No. I'm usually right. This should be a stay away for sure. And it's like a 425 kickoff. So that there's always a weird one in there.

43:01And Washington has a real aroma about them. And it's not a positive aroma. It's an odor. And the Eagles you know they're going to go 11 and 6 like they always do and this just seems like a layup. Why is in this line going to be higher than my guess which is Eagles minus 6 at home. It's not even that high. It gets you you get the nod here because it's 5 and a half and I said 4 and a half. Oh yeah. That's an absurd price for the Eagles. That's basically bait. It's basically everybody's been burned by this game so many times you're getting two free points. This line should be 7 and a half. And you're the very first trend you'd read off right the division opponents getting whatever 7 7 and a half so they don't they don't make it that high. That's also a gigantic narrative that you know command is all line sucks every day. It does because it does suck. Sitting in their ULG. Yeah. Against this loaded defense. I guess so. I think I'm just

44:01two into Jayden Daniels this year. I don't even know why. Would you make stewers, Falcons of fairly watchable or a poop fecda or rewatchable? You're pick. I think it's a rewatchable. It's a I guess fairly watchable. Could you have to I hate them. I hate this. I'm not putting this on. I'm watching Zoe over this one. Well, I'll move it up because otherwise we would have had four poop fecdas to do that. Stewards Falcons. I do think this is a fairly watchable because I'm really interested to see how bad the Falcons are. I think that's a team that over the course of the month. Everybody has turned on and you could see with the with the lines even you know since we talked about it last week. I think the juice has moved even further ahead of them on Fando where they have the winning and losing record bets, the losing record bet. There's actually been action on them. They've moved up. I think they're like 12 to 1 now for that is to be like over 21. There's Mike McCarthy. There's some Steelers could be a little bit

45:09sleepery in the AFC is like a 10 or 11 win team. I have Steelers minus three and a half. You're going to nail this one too. I said three. They made it they made a three and a half. Four five six seven eight. Two three four five eight to six for you. Yeah, I don't want to watch this. The Falcons I've read two 16 and one all time against the Steelers and they have no one to rush the quarterback. So Roger's going to look good. Here can I give you some reasons to watch other than gambling? Sure. Who's playing quarterback for the Falcons? Yeah, I know you hate that. I'm literally asking. It's actually two. Do you know who's playing? Because I don't know who's playing. They didn't announce it. Yeah, right? So it's one of those two. There's no training camp or two who should be out of the league. And it's going to be one of those two. With the Steelers, the front seven that is always great. It feels like the first two months and then lose the steam as it goes. But so why isn't this higher? Just because you're trying to think of their win totals. The Steelers are eight and a half, right? That plan is down six and a half. What do we have?

46:14The plan is basically six and a half now. Yeah. Yeah. Steelers at home. And later outdoors. Don't team outdoors. Right. I think they're ready. Salas revenge. Titans home for the jets. I can't say the Titans had a lot of buzz coming down the preseason. I can't say there's a lot of excitement about this team. Jets, a whiff of buzz. A little bit of buzz. I have the Titans as home underdogs in this game. I have jets minus one and a half. This is your worst one, I think. And the one we differ the most. I said, okay. I said Titans by two and it's Titans by two and a half. So I get this. Oh. Okay. Well, we'll see. When it usually went off by that many points. That means I'm going to I'm going to bet. Well, I'm going to bet on myself on this one. I don't think the Titans should be favored against anybody.

47:17Whoever wins, let's just not do the could they make the playoffs? Could they? Let's just not do it. I mean, here's what scares me. House said he looked back over the summer. He has eight week one wagers on the jets. So maybe he's ready. Before September. Jesus. Let's slip him to 800 number. That game is more fun than Raiders' dolphins, which is in Vegas, Kirk Cousins, Malik Willis, two teams that have been thrown around the number on pick race. I have Vegas minus two and a half over the dolphins. I have Vegas minus two and a half as well. And it's three and a half. By the way, we just put a poll on a poll off about the about the jets Titans. So because we're at such a disparity. All right. All right. Well, Kirk Cousins. We'll see what the Netflix people think. Let me ask you this. I don't want to really want to watch any of that game. I'm just going to ask you, does the US open men's finals get a bigger screen than Miami Las Vegas and the Simmons household?

48:22No, I don't care about the US open pops. Oh, wow. Okay. I did I did stay up to over two o'clock when I was at Boston watching Sbear of almost blow it in round one, which would have been the first time that's happened as a one-seed losing in a major. It was like 30 years. The answers are going nuts and I got sucked in and then I was up till three in the morning after. Watch your eyes. I gave tennis a compliment saying the night edition of tennis, an exciting night game, the disparity between an exciting day game is unlike any other sport. I have a hot take and I think Eduardo needs to get ready to cook this out because I feel really strongly about it. I've watched tennis my whole life. I play tennis. I love tennis. Serena's done. Tennis matches are too long. Ooh, we've lost the narrative with this. These guys are too good. The the the row is in the points and these these matches are four and a half hours routinely now. Yeah. And I just think it's absurd and I've talked about this forever. I don't think anything

49:25should be four and a half hours. Like literally anything. Movies, sporting events, a dinner, anything. I don't want to do anything for four and a half hours that's supposed to be entertainment. And I just think they really have to rethink this and all the tennis peers are going to be like that's crazy. Fuck you. Go fuck yourself. I get it. Whoa. But I think they should seriously think about changing the sets from six to five for winning the set. Oh, sick to change in the set. See, I was going to propose see, I bet tennis all the time because it's on Thursday. Do the four out of seven. Well, they do two out of three sets for men's when it's not a major. It's in the like this. If you're watching the Cincinnati open on a Wednesday, it's like that's two out of three women are always two out of three. You would just go to five instead of six. Whatever we have to do to not make this four and a half hours. I don't. I just don't think it's that entertaining. And I like tennis. And I'm sure people know this one. I know. And the whole title I'm like, why the fuck is this four and a half hours?

50:31It's absurd. Like in baseball, it's when the baseball games got too long. What do we do? We're like, this is too long. Let's get a pitch clock. We got to fix this in tennis. It's like, oh, joke Mitch is about to have a stroke on the court. This is great. What's right? He's dying. What's fun about this? It's a lot when Joe Mitch couldn't even like hit balls back in the fifth set. Yeah. He was just like letting that letting serves go because he was trying to save his energy for when he served. And it's like, once we get to that point, I just think it's much harder to play than it was during the Mac and Roboregare. It's just what it just is. They are flying around for every point. I'll give you that. And that's why maybe the night game is better. That's why you won't have to worry about everyone dropping dead from heatstroke. But you'd have to check the ratings. I feel like a lot of people start tuning in and that fifth set. They'd also tune in if it was five games instead of six. All right. I don't care. I don't care. I'm sorry. Yeah, you're I forgot. I shouldn't have done this to you when you were in football mode.

51:34What do you mean you don't care? You'd better on the tennis. I know. I brought it up, but I just I never really thought about it. Chargers, Cardinals in LA, a rare LA football game where they're not going to be a day loose by fans from the other team because we don't know the many areas on a Cardinal fans. Well, I'll say a lot of boot of Baker, Jersey's Romaner outside of Sofie. This is also a classic teaser. I have chargers minus eight. Let me find this. That's a I had eight and a half. It's nine to half. Went way high on this. Yeah, because they don't want us to tease because they knew we can convince fans. All right. Those are three poop factors. Saturday, Cowboys, Giants, at New York, you're going to be favorite. You're going to be favorite. You're going to be favorite in this game. I have Cowboys minus two and a half. I had Cowboys minus three. And I was bummed to see that it was two and a half not because you got it because now I have to think about, I mean, this is potentially awesome for you. You get an immediate crack at

52:37celebrating my grief minutes after I'm coming right on game winning 72 yard field go at the buzzer. So I think you lay this back down. Oh, really? I do. I love the Cowboys this year. I know everybody. I'm looking at them for best record in the NS like the one seed. All that shit. Yeah. It's just to lose to the Giants. Everybody gets off our case for a minute. It's somehow we've won nine of the times. I'm already a basket case about this matchup. What did the Bundo say 17 to the 26 guys from last year's defense are no longer on the team? For Dallas? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That should be all. Yeah. You guys are going to be good this year. Yep. And there's a poll up now. And that's like, we'll sell be shedding tears next Sunday night. I mean, the way I think it's yes. I think it was very smart to stay away from medieval Canoeville. I don't want any part of that. Yeah. Talk to me next Monday. So we have Giants as a as a home dog, Panthers. Wait, did you win? Do I have a chance?

53:4210. I think I won. You're one in 10 night before home dogs. I think we're I think we're both going to hit this one. This is the most obvious tick-tack one of all time. Monday night, Kansas City at home for Denver. And I have chiefs minus one and a half. I swear on my kids. I had chiefs minus two. And it is two and a half. See how that works people? See how unsatisfying that it was. We split. I feel like we cheated. We tie week one. I feel like you cheated. I have an eight nine 10 to one two three. 10 to 10, including ties. Chiefs minus two and a half, huh? What are we missing with the chiefs here? It's my home's nine months after an ACL. It's Kelsey three months after he got married. It's a complete overhaul of that. All these young people, they have a young secondary. It's a team that I feel like is going to take five, six weeks to be whatever it's going to be. Week one again, Sean Payton and the Broncos, a team that felt like they should have made

54:44this Super Bowl last year that feels like they're better even though the schedule is not better. I just don't see how the chiefs are favored like this. This feels like a mom's read thing. I think Fandall's throwing their hands in the air a little bit here. The chiefs would normally be a three point favorite, right? But what people aren't talking about is this is Bonix's rehab game too. Right? We didn't see him. He got hurt middle January. So that's fair. Best up his leg. So it's like, all right. Let's see. I mean, they pushed it as late as they could. Monday night for my homes to rest up. Surprise. I didn't play this Tuesday afternoon in Australia. All right. So we tied. No, I will not be crying according to our Netflix fateful 67%. Thanks, guys. Appreciate that. So they said, that's what they say. They're never wrong. Futures draft. It's time. Let's go. Come on. I'll give you the first pick since I beat you last year and guess the lines so that enables you to get the first pick. But we're going to be in this.

55:48I look, I look back. We gave out 34 futures bets each. Today, we're going to try for a hundred each, but no. But I thought I was like, oh, we did well. We both gave out winners and then Superfan Chris Haynes reported Simmons ended up up 3.98 units and Sal was down 11.94 units. So mind your damn business. Oh, you were down last year. Yeah, I guess I was down. I played in the chiefs. So part of the art of this is we want to we want to have some winners that are going to be around even plus one 10 plus one 15. But we want to have some long shots too. And we want to be able to go back and forth and and have a nice mix of both, but really try to hit like one of the ones I hit last year was Mike for able coach of the year. That was like, I don't know, 10 to one or 12 to one. Right. Putting one unit on all of these. So you hit one of those and it's worth like 10. So the art of this is some long shots, some staples and go all the way around. You've the first pick.

56:49We say one unit. We recommend one unit is $10,000. But it's whatever you guys want to say. $10,000 per unit. Okay. It's how we're going to do this. But yeah, Snake, I go first and you take two or we just go back and forth. I'm fine. Just going back and forth. It's up. It's up to you though. All right. I'm going to start with my favorite. And I can't believe it involves the jets doing something somewhat positive, but it does. Okay. The New York Jets to come in third place at even odds. I think this hits by three or four games on either side. I think the Pats and Bills are 10 plus. I think the dolphins are four minus. They have not built their team like the jets have. Jets are actually trying to win. I believe it or not. I have the jets at six wins. I think this is a lock of all locks, especially if Miami is battling for that first pick in December. late December. Give me Jets third place plus 100. I had it run down. It's great. It's a good one. It's great. All right. Ironically, my first pick was going to be a variation of that.

57:55The Falcons. By the way, you can find all these unfandals, including the exact order bets for divisions, but also you can bet on the jets to beat their place. I have a parlay. The Falcons and the dolphins to both be in fourth place plus 343 unfandals. At least yesterday when I did all my work. By the way, if you want to throw Minnesota in there, which I'm not going to do plus 1056. But Falcons' dolphins is my first pick. Don't know the throw in the throw in the throw in the three because it's like a two a terror. Two a killed or was about to kill both the teams. You're right. It's like a two a two timer. I honestly can't figure out how either of these teams don't finish fourth. I think your roadmap for the ASEs is a lot easier because we're going to the jets at least trying for the first few weeks. Duffins don't seem to be cared off. Falcons, I think the Saints or the Panthers would just have to really stink.

58:57But I don't I just don't see how the Falcons aren't in fourth place. Anyway, that's my first one. What do you got it? How about this? Chargers get eliminated in the first round of the playoffs plus 172. In the last three years, they've made the playoffs. I think they're going to enter as a three seed. They're going to screw people up a little bit. They'll enter as a three seed after winning the vision and they're going to lose it home. I have losing to the six seeded chiefs and round one. Chalk that up as a one-on-one way or another. They're losing in the first round. So this is just a Herbert shorting, by you. Yeah. Right. It's pretty good. It's like how we would bet my homes every year. And then okay, every three years, they'll win the Super Bowl. This is this is the other version of that. Yeah. So ways you lose, they don't make the playoffs or they're the one seed. Right. All other scenarios you're in play. I really like that. Okay. Oh man. So many good ones left. Are you done? You could tap out if you want. No, I have so many. I really love this one. I'm not going to do it, Liana twice. I'll do one that I love that I've

1:00:04wagered on myself. I have Houston and Seattle both to make the playoffs. It's plus plus one 12 on Fandall, basically even odds. And I don't see a world where either of these teams don't make the playoffs instead of something unless something horrible happens. Now I've learned my lesson from last year because we got burned. We'd had some three team playoff stuff and what what what I took away from that my mistake and my lesson going forward is three teams are just opening the door for weird shit to happen to stick with the two you really like one in each conference. They're not, you know, they're going to be each be doing the wrong thing. I just think Houston's defense and Seattle's defense. Those are going to be two of the three best defenses in the league. I just be shocked at either of these teams that win 10 plus one 12. Sounds great. Sign me. I like that. I have both back in the playoffs. Why not plus money. Yeah. Who beat us last year? I in general. I want to. Can city. Can city kill this last year? And Detroit. Did you have Detroit too?

1:01:06I think I can. Can city kill this? We lost multiple. It honestly ruined what should have been an awesome year for me. Right. But I had all these different can city bets that murdered me. Yeah. But all right. All right. You're up. I have this is my only NFC South bet. God bless you. You're going to have a dozen. But it's a cousin. Sal special on Fandall bill. You could check it out. On the ringer. Right there. Okay. All right. It's a combination bet NFC West to have more wins than the NFC South. The and the AFC West to have more wins than the AFC North. So okay. Say that again. I forgot already. Now NFC West to have more wins than the NFC South. Okay. So that's the F Seattle. Yes. That's right. By 10 AFC West to have more than the AFC North. So you have the, you know, you could have three double digit win teams. And if the Raiders are competitive. I guess you need North. We need the chiefs. Yeah. Yeah. You need Cleveland. Not to be good. You

1:02:07you're hoping Cincinnati is not like an 11 win team. And I don't think Pittsburgh's going to be very good. And that's plus 165. If you put those together. Wow. That's a really good one. And the AFC part makes me a little more nervous. Yeah. I think the other one I thought was great. But I like the juice. The plus 165. You mentioned the NFC South. You got me excited. So I'm going to bang this out now Tampa to win the NFC South plus 175. I honestly, this is a miracle that this is still the price. I don't understand it at all. Plus 175. They're by the best team. This is like you went to the doctor and they say, Hey, you got to stop drinking. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever doctor. And you get to the parking lot. You're doing shots of Yegum Ice to the car. Like what? Why? What the NFC South enough? One of the things that's appealing is a different team seems to win this stupid division. Have a Tampa one a few in a row. But usually when we have the screwed up divisions, a different team wins every year. And the style who's who's up to share Tampa

1:03:08in win last year. Okay. Yeah. So what was that Tampa plus 175 signed me up just to win. Okay. Yeah. All right. One more style special on Fandall courtesy of the ringer Rams win the West. The NFC West. Yep. Chargers make the playoffs and Cardinals lose their first five. That's just a fun one. Wow. 50. Yeah. LHC playoffs. Zona loses their zone. It goes 0 and 5. They have the most owner schedule in the week. They're at the Giants week four. I feel like that's their best shot. Otherwise, they're so headshot point dog. Yeah. You go. Pays over to one. Eight to one. Yeah. Boy. Name. You really? You did your homework this year. I can tell. That's a big one. It always works out. Yeah. All right. I'm going to take this off the board. It's a defensive one. I could probably get this later, but I want to do this. It's not a jinx. As you know, I like winning more than jinxing your team.

1:04:10I have Dak Prescott to win the MVP at 18 to one. I just like the odds. I think that team, I think one of those two NFC East teams is going to be really good, especially because of those four washed in Giants games. I just like your team. We talked about earlier. Jerry. Why is notable? He's got weapons. They figured out the pick and thing. They're going to be able to run the ball. I just like the odds. I don't understand why his odds are 18 to one, but burrow is like five to one. So you got to be, yeah, that shouldn't be that wide. He should be right in there with the rest of the favorites. If Dallas is 12 and five or 13 and four, Dak's going to win the MVP because the freaking media machine behind the Cowboys, you know, right? Anyway, I like the. Don't make, don't clip that off. Don't don't even bother with that. That's it's nice and everything. I appreciate it. We forgot to welcome Tony Romo to the podcast. He's going to be. He's going to

1:05:13be there all season. Yeah. Tony's got some time now. He's going to hang with us. And yeah, he's going to always embedded on the pod to join us. Okay. Yeah, please Tony, the real Tony. All right. That's good. I mean, I like Dak for like most passing yards and passing touchdowns. And when I just wanted to Dak problem before you grabbed one. Yeah, I knew I'd figure you'd grab one. Okay. You know, he's not in the NFC South, right? Are you still okay? Making a future? But this is stupid. You're going to hate this. But Zach Taylor Coach of the year at plus 2700. Now I think oh my god. I think he's either first coach fired or coach of the years. Nothing in the middle. And our friends at Fandall are too nice to let us bet for first coach fired. So the 11 12 maybe 13 win Bengals could get Zach Taylor some hardware. Imagine that 27 to 1. Who do you think is going to be the first coach fired if it's not Zach Taylor? Oh, oh no, it's like we talked about this most going to have some run.

1:06:19Because balls would be up there if Tampa starts out slow. Yeah, but it's less than you think. Right? It's it's just let there's less candidates this year because we know there are four. Yes, the mid-Strength ones. Indie breeds kind of a fun guess for this. They just stink and they're like two and five. And people are like he's done. Cereonis is a wild card if the Eagles are super disappointing. But it's KS is a wild card. KS is a wild card potentially. It's all people you would never expect. Aaron Glan if it's just oh yeah, Aaron Glan is top of it last year. Yeah, yeah. That team has to get an interception. All right. Okay, that was my you go. All right, I'm going to take this off the board just because I don't want you to have it. Price on the Seahawks. Rookie Notre Dame. 750.5 yards rushing. This is over under on Fandall.

1:07:21He was being drafted like a $25 to $30 running back. If he doesn't get 750 yards, somebody got hurt. Like with the way that that team runs the ball, the zone blocking, which I'm sure they kept. It's a 17 game season. 750 yards. That's 45 yards a game. Right. So he'd basically have to get hurt not to hit that. I think they're going to need him. I don't know if Charbonne is coming back. The other guys are all third string, fourth string running backs. I think they're going to use this guy and ride him and I'm grabbing it. 750. This reminds me of the book last year, which was one of mine that hit. And it hit it like nine weeks, but it was like, who, who else are they throwing it to other than him and Mike Evans? Like we just watched it. So anyway, price 750.5. That is a low told. So what is that 40? If you play 17 games, it's like 47 yards a game. That's a critical total. Yeah, I don't really understand. I'm right. Price is right for price. I'm going to write that over 750 and a half.

1:08:24All right. I'll stay rookie here since we're doing rookie. Yeah. I picked this award. Your offense, rookie of the year, correctly. Two of the last three. Yeah. I'm going to say two and a half really because like Bucco, who brought up was in the driver's seat for like nine weeks before just disappeared. He got hurt. He got hurt. Yeah. He killed a lot of fantasy teams too. Dejan Stribling for the 49ers plus 850. He got Kirk out. Ricky Pearsle on IR. Who knows what the IU? If they sign it, if he plays whatever, Kittle starts banged up. I think just says plenty of opportunity to catch passes from Perty who was like top, I think eight in yards per game. This guy had back to back 800 yards with old miss. We might have the Mike Evans injury. Like yeah. Right. So he got Evans there. So he had like four catches in the preseason all over 10 yards. I think he's going to be I'm going to go over. I had plus 850 and I think like you could get him for most receiving yards to a plus 470, but 850 for these purposes. This is my pick.

1:09:25And that was 20 to one at one point. It was pretty high. I think that drive. Yeah. I don't get the best number. So team act one last year. Yeah. He came on late like a freight train. Normally I'm always afraid to work your receivers, but the two almost one last year. Okay. I have another one. This is this is the goofiest one. And I can't decide. I'm just going to do it. Okay. This is a parlay with three receivers. This is one of the only ones. Yeah. Matthew golden on the Packers to get 600 plus receiving yards. Jalen Koker on the Panthers to get 600 plus receiving yards. And Raheed Shaheed, Rasheed Shaheed, 500 plus yards receiving. You put those three together. It's plus 561.

1:10:26And the only way I lose that is if one of those guys gets hurt for half the season. Shaheed is the number two receiver on the on the on the ceiling space. Yeah. And if you remember, like they traded a midseason and they were trying to figure out how to use him, but he's their deep thread. I feel like he's 500 seems low. You could talk me in the 750 for him. Koker who Holy Cross his own awesome play off game last year against the rims. I think he was like 12 for 140. He was hurt for most of the years. Going to be the number two receiver. Basically was out of the loop for three months came back. And then golden. The Packers went from five receivers to three. So if you think if you think Jordan loves going to throw from 3500 or 4000 yards, he's got craft and three receivers. All of those receivers should be over 600. So plus 561 for me for that does make sense, but it's too many overs. Like this is how I know it's money just bad. I said that's why I said this is badly one of these. All right. Let me show you how it's done. Okay. Puka under 107 and a half receptions. I love it. Now I know he had 129

1:11:34last year. And so this would be a big drop off, but not that big. If you have to sit two or three games for unforeseen reasons or for for seen reasons. So he's got some groin stop going into the season. That's the groin stuff we know about. So these are his problems. Yeah, exactly. So 104 105 catches would still be incredible. 108 over let's say 14 games is like eight catches a game. I don't think like also the starters might not even play the fourth quarter in some of these ram blowouts. So I really like the other. I don't root for injuries, but also come back from Australia. Yeah, that's the other thing. Yeah. They're going in there leaving the next day. It's like 50 50. He's on the plane arrested for fornicating with a kangaroo, which apparently is a legal. I love this one. That's a great one, especially if the kangaroo thing happens. Yeah. No, you're catching somebody the year after the best year of their life. Right. Somebody who took a lot of big hits who already, you know, might have some injury stuff going and definitely

1:12:36has some other stuff going. So I really like that one. Okay. Can't believe this is still on the board. I looked at this as under 7 and a half plus 210. But I'm going to go one higher because I just want to win this. Washington and Atlanta. Both under eight and a half wins. Eight and a half worse both teams plus one 12. It's good. I just thought see either. You got to put the south and everything, man. Just just open up a waffle house and you're back yard already. What are you doing? Who's going nine and eight out of that combo? Neither. I had to do that. It's probably one 12 plus one 12. I love it. Okay. I like that. By the way, I should mention with Washington Atlanta, the two NFC team, we talked about this last week, but these are the two NFC teams. I'm just shorting every way I can. The whole time.

1:13:39I just think both of them are going to be bad and I still think I feel like the market is not adjusted. I don't really have an AFC team like this that I feel like everybody's off on. I think you could make the cases. Indie andapolis, I was excited and I think you went under for us. That was one of your favorite bodies. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't feel like it's like I feel like these are sure things that these teams cannot go nine and eight. Yeah. I know. I just don't see a world where either team is not Washington camp block. Atlanta is in a quarterback. And Atlanta has probably the worst front seven in either conference. So I just that signed me off. Why don't you bet them to go all in five? I'm sure there's odds on that. I don't know where they are, but I might have the worst. You could just parlay just parlay them losing over and over. All right. This is bad. You're not going to like this, but you could do this with any team you like in this division, I think. Okay. Green Bay to be the two seed at plus a thousand. I have them the one division. I have them one of the vision at plus 280. But I think it's a better bet.

1:14:43And you just do this with the NFC North winner who should have not as many wins as the NFC West winner. But I think more than the Cowboys Eagles, I know you're higher on the Cowboys and certainly more than the South winner, right? So the West the West team, the West winner is the one seed. And then I think the NFC North is the two. So basically instead of betting Packers to win the division, yeah, you're betting them to be the two seed because you're gaming that to be the second best division in the conference. They'll have more wins than you're basically just have to have more wins than the Eagles or Cowboys or your Tampa Bay box, whoever you have. 10-1 odds, pretty good. Yeah, but you could have who do you have? You have the Bears to win that division, right? Like you'll get I have the Lions. You have the Lions. All right. So you'll get the I don't like it though. To me that you're afraid of the NFC South. I'm afraid of the NFC North. Yeah. Okay. I can't believe I'm doing this one. You're going to be so mad. It's another NFC South bet.

1:15:49What's the matter with you? What happened? Baker Mayfield, 4,000 plus passing yards plus 340. So I looked at this. I studied it two years ago. He threw for 4500 yards. Last year he was on pace to do it before seven parts of his body got injured and everybody else got injured. I think there are offenses going to be good. 4,017 in game that's 200 and what? 230 yards in game. It plays 70. Yeah. Every bone is body broken last year, but if he goes 17 games. Offensive line didn't have worse last year. He has his left tackle back. I think they have a top 4 offensive line. I think they're going to protect him. I think he plays 17 games and I think he gets this easily. I looked at the 4,500 too. It was 19-1. Thought about along and hard, but that was

1:16:49aggressive. But he did do it two years ago. Did you mention the contract year? I don't remember. It's his contract year as well. A little FU. A little FU as well. So there you go. The only thing is their defense has, if their defense is better, that hurts their, his number is a little bit. But as long as we're talking 4,000 plus about Trevor Lawrence, plus 160. Now it's good a number, but probably because he had 4,07 last year. And the team led the league and drops. 45 drops. I love this. So if you cut that number to 30, which is still really bad, he should go way over this number. You could escalate it to 4,100. You should be okay there, too. But I'm going to go T law 4K plus 160. I love it. And I'm going to follow it up with another 4K bet. Caleb Williams plus 210. That's a good one. All the same reasons you said, I actually think they're positioned to throw the ball a little bit more this year than they did last

1:17:52year. Year two of Ben Johnson. I feel like Caleb's going to be better this year. Their schedules, you know, fairly hard, which I like. You almost want like the, you know, the games that are going to come down the fourth quarter where you know the guys out there. I think that's what her Drake may last year with some of the passing stuff because sometimes the games were done. But is Caleb just never going to throw for 4,000 yards like he's going to do it at some points. Just to keep the Joe going. Yeah. You want to keep going? Do you have another 4,000 yards? Of course. I don't know if I have a 4,000 yarder. But similarly, Christian Watson, 10 plus receiving touchdowns is plus 340. So he's never part of that wide receiver slot. He's no longer part with the, yeah, they could love, could focus on him and read and craft and golden. Like you said, he typically gets between six and seven touchdowns. But I think he ups it to double digits gets behind the defense a lot. So do that 10 times plus 340. Sadly, after having been burned by him multiple times in fantasy,

1:18:55I don't know if I can support any Christian Watson best. Fine. Yeah. I can't support this bet though. David Montgomery now in the Houston Texans, 1,000 yard rushing season. Just needs a thousand. Thousand one would get it just a thousand. Give me two four digits. Plus 220. Good defense. He's not sharing it with Gibbs or anything like that. Actually, he's going to be a workhorse. I just feel like a lot of 20 for 72, 19 for 75, 22 for 68, thousand yard 17 games. That's less than 60 a game. And he's way, way, way better than anyone they had last year. And it was the biggest hole they had last year. So I like that. Plus 220 for that. Let's uh, take some heat off of Woody marks. Yeah. I always try to go by his yards per carry. But it's not really fair because he's a goal line vulture. So he's getting a lot of one and two and three yards. He has to move the chainser. Right. And that's a key point. Like they had him out there inside the

1:19:59four. Chewing up is now he's going to actually go. All right. You're up. All right. Here's a weird one. Fans Joseph assistant coach of the year. They have this on Fandall. 11 to one. One in previous years by Josh McDaniels Ben Johnson, Jim Schwartz, the Denver defense right up there with Houston. I didn't even look at this one. Yeah. They uh, 68 63 sacks the last two years. They had four guys with at least seven sacks, Denver. He came in second last year. Vance Joseph to Josh McDaniels. He had like 80 votes. McDaniels have 130 or something. So I think he wins it this year. Plus 1100 was Mike McDaniel the favorite for this? Best of men. Uh, yes. I believe he was. Yep. Now I can't find it. Who's your Dallas defensive coordinator? Prision Parker 34 years old. It could be another one. Good one. If you guys go from one of the five worst defenses in the league to like 14th. Yeah. That's true.

1:20:59I'm rooting for Vance Joseph though. All right. Go on big upside for this one. I can't believe he didn't take it. It had South written all over it. Malik, what you're talking about Willis? Thousand yards rushed in this year plus 850. I have something like that. Damn it. That is the most salabat possible. Plus 850. He's going to run the ball 10 times again. Maybe 12. A lot of break two of them. He might have a game where he's like 22 for 70. I don't know. But plus 850, I couldn't resist. All right. This is the one I couldn't resist. Malik Willis. God forbid we have. We don't have a Malik Willis future there. Yeah. So this is special section. Most quarterback rushing yards is plus 500. Oh, that's even better than mine. No, I don't know if it is. But he's going to have 2000 yards rushing. Unfortunately, only like 600 or so are going to be beyond beyond the line of skirmish. For that about that. It's the sacks. Yeah. Yeah.

1:22:02But they don't count against it. But they don't get that thing for sacks. So I think plus 500 could work out for him. We haven't seen a lot of them. And preseason, whatever. It's not like he's playing games. But I do wonder if they're going to be a really funky team to play. Whereas just like a lot of running and weird shit and almost like watching some of the stuff you say I was doing last night. Pilkilla teaser with a fourth quarter, seven yard touchdown run against us somewhere. Mark it down. I'm marking it down. I'm also going to mark down this one. Seattle and New England together over eight and a half wins. You like that piece because there's a third piece coming. Rams under 13 and a half. You put those together plus 145. So Rams go 13 and four are worse. I'm basically going to win because Seattle and New England are

1:23:02both winning nine games plus 145. Interesting. I really like that one. I was trying to figure out different ways to bet against the Rams. And that I just feel like them going 14 and three seems absurd. With the top heavy roster with the schedule they have the Aaron Donald probably playing 30 plays a game for the first three months of the year. Some of the schedule shit. This Australia game, like if they lose that Australia game or they go in 14 and three. So I wanted to figure out something with that. I feel like an idiot because I did all this research and I'm you know I fell out with the Rams. I mean we'll give our Super Bowl pick at the end. So yeah. Sure. Last one. Yeah. So but I like the first two. It's hard to believe a year ago. Patriots and Seattle were favored to not make the playoffs like going into this just outrageous. I'm going to do it to you what you did to me here with with Drake. Maybe what do I want to do here? You're going to probably

1:24:05should I want to do 35 plus touchdowns. What do I want to do? AJ Brown, 10 plus. All right. I'm going to do the AJ Brown 10 plus receiving touchdowns. I knew I should have taken it. I think that's a really good car. Had to read down. You got to read it. It's not enough to read it right now plus 240. There's a world I hate to say this and this is an emotional hedge where maybe throws for 41 touchdowns, 39 touchdowns and AJ Browns and get at least 10 of those plus 240. It's a great bet. I also looked at the 12 touchdowns for this which I think was what was that like plus 300 something more higher. Yeah. So you got it plus 125 plus 240, 10 plus plus 240. Yeah. I get it. I wrote down plus 125 for that. I feel like you're 10 or for eight. I mean, his over under is like, you do eight or 10. I did 10. 10. Okay. Yeah. All right. Well, then I'm going to have to get you back. Miles Garrett defensive player of the year, four to one.

1:25:11I know it was on your list because I know it was on your list. I know you've been looking at it and you've probably better than real life and he will have one of those. He's just going to love being center of attention and being in big games. And here's the other thing with this because he had 23 seconds. I was looking at his sax where he'd have like 14, 15, 17. He there in these games where they're down by 20 points, you know, in the beginning of the third quarter. He like when you have something like that and you're up 10 in the fourth quarter, when you know the other team is passing all the time, that's when people get sacks. So he's going to be in these situations that he's been in four times a year for the last five years. And now it's going to be over and over again, where he's going to try to be Maran or Rivera in these games. So I feel like he have like 25 sacks this year. That's easily the smartest thing you've said in the last hour. Yeah. No, that's fine. That's good. I didn't realize. Yeah. I mean, how does he get all these sacks for the browns when the team is just running the ball, trying to hold a lead and he did it anyway. And now it's the

1:26:12opposite. Good job. I you. It's a little bar. Do you just to talk about like these past rushes when you have leads. That's when you really want the past rush because when you know what the other team's going to do. And you have these teams that have a good past rush, but they're offense sucks and they're down 10. It's like, well, what's the point of having a good past rush? The team's running the ball. All right. There's a lot. All right. I'm going to do one of these because I lose sleep over these when a team like Detroit or the chiefs doesn't make the playoff. So I'm taking teams to not advance to the postseason. I'm taking the Colts. I'm taking the browns. Taking the Giants. I'm taking the Jets. I'm taking the Cardinals. And it's only plus 156. I got to tell you something. I'm not worried about any goddamn one of them. Right. The second. Thank you in advance to Danny Dimes and Dart and the Sean and Jacobi and Geno. Good Lord. Those names plus 156. So Indianapolis is the one that could screw here. Probably. There's some smart people on the Giants.

1:27:14Smart people on playing for the Giants are on the Stucky. It was on the Giants, which I was shocked by. The big basically using the new coach theory with the Giants that Harbaugh, you know, changing, which I love the new coach there. I just don't know if Harbaugh is an upgrade from Brian Debal in that way. Maybe a old coach. Yeah. Oh, no. You are. Remember of the New York Giants. I drive without Shreddus. The playoff odds went way, way up after that. Okay. Vikings, fourth in the NFC North plus 175 is off the board. I like that. I didn't want to parlay that with anything. That's just a straight up. I think they're the worst team in the division. I think KOC is an outside chance for first coach. I'm just in disbelief with the love for Calamari. I don't get it at all. We'll see. I'm happy to be wrong. We always need more good quarterbacks, but I just like that team by far the least in that division. So plus 175 sounds great.

1:28:19You're good for you, man. You did it. I have a couple of these. You tip me off to these. Team X to have more wins than team Y. Love these. You know what? Since you did the Vikings, I'll do this too. Chargers, more wins in the Vikings. Minus 130. I just did the math. I have the bolts win in the NFC West. And I do not have the Calamari led Vikings at 500. Minus 130. Minus 130. Chargers, more than Vikings. That's a really good one. Okay. I'll keep the momentum going with with what you want to do here. I'll keep the momentum going. 30 second plus. You know what? I don't like your attitude. So I'm going to take Cal boys over 10 and a half plus 500. So go ahead. Plus 500. Is that right? Plus 500. Ernie, burning money. I like this because instead of betting the division,

1:29:22um, betting them to go 11 and six, they'd win the division. But the division odds are plus 170. They go 11 and six. I get plus 500 for that. Sign me up. Why would I not do that instead of betting them on the division? That's for other. Have the five to one 11 and six. I hate this. I hate this. I'm betting your team. I'm going to work. Listen, we're in a line this year in the Cal boys. I have actual money in the Cal boys this year. I'm going to be rooting for them to win and you just kind of fucking suck it up and get used to it. Wow. This is what we're doing. We're both for the Cal boys this year. Maybe you'll be more depressed next Sunday night. We'll both be depressed together. What do you got? B. John Robinson. I know you didn't like him. We talked about it. The Ring of Fantasy draft. If you had gotten the two seed or if you had dropped to you, number two, uh, pick. I took most Russian yards plus 750. He was fourth with 14 78 last year behind Taylor, Henry, and Cook. Yeah. Three or older than he is. I think they're going to lean on him a lot. If you're right,

1:30:25and Atlanta can't figure out the quarterback thing, this guy is going to get a lot of carries and he's used to it. So plus 750 for most yards. I'm going to follow that up with Falcons under five and a half wins plus plus 190. Wow. Been like 90 seconds and two. Yeah. South pick. Good. Plus 190. Falcons, five and 12 are worse. I think they're they will have a top five pick next year. That's back up. Yeah. That's pretty good. All right. How about this? This is a exact finish parlay. Oh. Raiders fourth. Yeah. One-at. Jets third. Already like that. Cardinals fourth plus 229. Raiders fourth. Jets third. Cardinals fourth. Plus 229. Who scores? Who scores me there? Honestly, nobody. It's maybe maybe the Jets. Good, man. That's really good. We'll take it. I'm going to put Seahawks NFC West plus 210 on the board.

1:31:31I just like the odds. For the life of me, do not understand why they are such prohibitive underdogs against the ramps. I don't get it. I think both teams are probably two of the best teams in the league, but I don't understand why there's a dramatic disparity between the two. Which we can bet that. Especially when there's way more room for error with the ramps. Right. You're talking like seven eight guys where two go down and it's a different team. They've no depth at all. Yeah. We should be able to bet that if we gave team the sides it because it always seems to. And that's a foul one. Yeah. All right. As long as you have plus 210 on your mind, this is my Falcons, the Colts under six and a half plus 210. Just docks and Colts. Colts mine under six and a half plus 210. Both of them. No, no, just the Colts. Oh, just the Colts. Yeah. Aren't they regularly seven and a half? Yeah. Yeah. Think so. Yeah. So they go. So that's a six and 11. Six and 11. You know, the bundle you're doing this? Yeah. He endorses it. He covers his eyes and

1:32:35he knows what's coming because that was ridiculous with Daniel Jones did. And I think he's going to have the toughest time coming back from this injury. And then what? Richard's like third screen strength. We're skipping over these injuries, not you and I, but just in general. Like we everybody is superhuman and just come back right away from ACLs and Achilles and you know, Tatum came back for the Celtics. They ramped them up and he misgamed seven. Quickly, he used to win the AFC South. It's still plus 120. I like them so much more than every other team in that division. And really, it would only be Jacksonville who is coming off as we discussed in the over underpods. Like not only is there a regression candidate, but they had an abysmal draft. You know, they lost their first front pick in the hunter trade. Nobody liked the rest of the guys they took. They lost Travis, the TN. And I just think Houston's better than them. So plus 120 cents. Fantastic. I'm with you. Can I piggyback a plus 120 Texans bet too? Yeah, it is. The Texans have more wins than the Eagles. I just look at my, I see 12 is

1:33:41bigger than nine. That's it. I think that's honestly, I think they can win that by two games at least. Um, now man, you're going to be mad at me. I have another one. Houston and Seattle over nine and a half wins each. All right. Tampa over eight and a half wins. Plus more 22. I need two 10 and sevens from Houston and Seattle and 98 from Tampa plus 22. Signed me up. Sounds great. I have broken my rule of not putting three teams in a parlay with over others. I just get a real rock. Yeah, you know what? I'm not going to apologize. Not even one commercial break. Nine and a half each and then Tampa over eight and a half. I would honestly be stunned if they couldn't win nine games. That just means Baker got hurt or their left tackle got hurt. I hate to do this as a friend, but I really want to root against Tampa and for Atlanta now so that you hate the NFC South as much as I do.

1:34:41And it's the only way this is going to change the silly way I'm going to learn. Okay. Fair. All right. What do you got? We run an app because I have a lot more. No, no, no. I can make another offensive for you the year pick two, right? Can I have a couple? We're just a one. Jacobi Lane on the NFC side. USC guy third round pick for the Ravens. Harbaugh never would start these guys. He would like these like not first rounders. He was a third round pick. So he would send them right to the special teams. Right. But he's getting first string reps with Jesse Mithers Virgin of the Ravens. So I think it's worth it at plus 2200 Jacobi Lane. Welcome to Team Cell. Plus 2200 is nice. I Okay. Man, I have a lot of good ones left. I'm going to do this as a tandem. Just because I think it's a tandem bet. So it's two bets. But I like the two as a combo because I

1:35:43think it has to be one of these two teams. Baltimore one seed plus 500. Houston one seed plus 750. I think you do both. Try to hit one. So basically, if it's one unit each, I mean, they're out two units or I'm up four units or I'm up six and a half units. But it's basically a bet on Baltimore or Houston will be the one seed. Fando, if you want to throw that up as a ringer future bet, knock yourself out. But I think it's those two. I don't see any other team in the AFC having a better record than those two teams. So you're saying the West battles each other. Yeah. They're winners, 11 games. I think it's probably Baltimore's to the same. Yeah. Yeah, it's basically I like the Baltimore for the one seed because of the schedule with Houston as the hedge plus 750. And that's the move. I kind of enjoyed that one. Yeah, that's a good one. You took me through it. What do you got next? Let me do let me do Parker Washington over four and a half

1:36:48touchdown receptions minus 122. You mother. I just I knew you had it. And I think you're going to bid. What do you have for one one dollars on him and our draft? I love Parker Washington. Five or more touchdowns minus 122. Oh man, that's a really good one. It's minus 122 though. minus 122. Okay. All right. Good for it. I'll take the other. Where's the other parkour? Isn't there a parkour Washington? Oh, yeah. I have him a thousand yards. There are plus 165. Not bad. So we both we both have parkour Washington insurance. I thought he was incredible. Down the stretch last year. I loved him. It's a added it was just he put it together. He was open all the time. Teams knew he was going to get open. And then he would get open and Lawrence found him and he's awesome. I think he's the best receiver on that team. Yeah. They're just a past

1:37:49game in general is going to be great. I think. All right. Emotional hedge here. Oh boy. It hurts 10 plus rushing touchdowns plus 145. Has this hit like every year? It did. I don't think it didn't hit last year. Right? I'm pretty sure it took a a tumble last year because that whole offense. Right. Not good. And here I am like singing songs about how oh the Tush push only worked 64% of the time versus 81%. But he's going to shove it right up my keyster now again. Yeah. Yeah. He had eight last year 14 15 13 and 10 the four years before. They'll hit 10. They're going to play with a little more pace this year too. It sounds like. Yeah. So would you get for odds for that? Plus 145. I'm a little more. All right. Continuing with my Baltimore theme. Last year I hit the coach of the year. And this year I think I'm going to hit it as well. Jesse Minter. Plus 850 for coach of the year. I think it's a good way to bet the one seed with

1:38:55Baltimore. And I probably just should have done that instead of what I did. But they won. I think they're the one eight games are nine games last year. I can't remember. But if they're a 12 or 13 win team. Yeah. Combined with all this stuff we've been reading, which we talked about on the pod last week about how much the players love him. Bob, Bob, Bob. And I just think he's every year there's a guy that comes in who is the hottest system who comes in and just ends an awesome coach right away. Two years ago, it was McDonald last year Ben Johnson. This year it's going to be him. I just, I think it's going to be him. So plus 850 for that. It's a good one. I have Zach Taylor. And you have a, so I'll be funny if that's one of those two. You have Zach Taylor with way better juice. It's stupid. Yeah. Dolphins worse record. Let me just grab this plus 220. You want to win money? How much you want to win, Bill? You want to win 22 million? Better million on or 10 million on dolphins worst plus 220 way too many young players way too much dead cap money. We went over it last week

1:39:57disgusting. Sorry, Malik Willis, but this is what it's going to be. That's a good one. It was on my list. Did I do what I did washed and under yet? Have I done that? I don't think alone. Yeah, I'm going to do washed in under five and half wins plus plus 220. Just like the value. Because I have the Atlanta one that I took earlier. That was plus 190. This is plus 220. So basically one of those hit I will I'm up right. It's basically a Washington or Atlanta two to one odds that both one of them will go five and 12 or worse. And I think I think I think both of them could. But yeah, plus to you hate houses team Thursday nights are going to be fun. They're on a thing. Houses like me when he when his team sucks, he'll be the first to tell you. And I think he thinks they're going to suck.

1:40:59Yeah, it does. Yeah. I just feel like we we called the regression last year, right? Then did you think we should have called this podcast Harlan Cohen's guest of lines? Is it Sun Netflix? Oh, it's a coban Harlan Coban or Harlan Cohen? I don't know. There's a guy that's on Netflix. We hit like very few people get to put their name in front of the show. Like Tyler Perry gets to do this. Well, obviously didn't work because you don't know how to say it's Harlan Coban. Harlan Coban. C O B E. Yeah, he puts his name in the front of the shows and they always crushed on the streamers. Interesting. When we could have done Harlan Coban's guest of lines, year 20. And I wonder if it would have done better on Netflix. I said, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Really regret that. It's too late. Let's put a poll up to see if it's too late. All right, this is a thinker. But yeah, Pat succeed is plus a thousand. I like them make the playoffs. It's really good. But not one of the vision. Yeah. I don't think they'll have as many wins as the

1:42:02two West teams that make it, but still enough to get to the postseason. I like them. I think I'm for the seven C two, but the six seed is plus a thousand. And I do think you can rack your brain and and hedge out of it too. We JT and somehow really smart. I was looking at them at to win the AFC's plus 140. And I was going to do it later. But since you just directly attacked me and do it right now, Pat's to win the AFC's plus 140. I said this to you and did the overrunners. I've no idea why them and Buffalo don't have the same odds. Nobody can explain it. Buffalo, as gamblers, as people who think about the lines and the action, when something doesn't add up to what it actually should be, just because a team is popular or there's narratives that have nothing to do with the actual thing. That's where you want to be. This Buffalo thing, everybody just has decided Josh Allen is going to win 11 games for the rest of his life. And there's

1:43:05I think there's some real question marks with them. And for some reason, people have way more question marks with the Pat's. I'm not saying who's right or who's wrong. But I think to me, it's either or they have won 11 games six years in a row. Haven't they? I get it, but they just fired their coach. And it's like Joe Brady's going to be great. I don't know, is he? What are your favorite Joe Brady moments? He could be the new variable. Who knows? Maybe Mike Vraybo had won though. He'd gone to the AFC title game. Well, he's not a giant. Joe Brady done. How big a favorite saw there for that? For the division. The Buffalo is a slight favorite for the division. There are minus and the Pat's are plus 140. I'm saying they should be the same odds. So I'm grabbing the action. That's fine. What do you got? Well, I think you have one of these, but you haven't said it yet. And I think if you give this guy protection and let him sling it, then the chargers end up with 12 wins. That 11 to one for Justin Herbert, MVP is a fun. Yeah, I like it. I'm too high on the chargers. What were you too high on? The Ravens,

1:44:13too high on the chargers. You know, I was going to be there with you until the center got hurt. And the left guard center, right guard combo, everybody was like, this is going to be a bomb and a ball. That really scared me. Slater is the key. I have a Herbert one as well, then I'm going to get off here. I think it's slightly better odds than what you just did. And it's basically the same bet. Justin Herbert, 4500 yards, 12 to one. Oh, yeah. Now I looked up because I was like, he's throwing for somewhere around there, right? He threw for 5,000 yards once. Yeah. 2000, 2021 range. And now McDaniel and they're going to have actually a healthy offensive line. This is one of my favorite bets. Let me write that down. Would you say 4500? 4500 yards, 12 to one. Yeah, that's great. So you figure he has a 475 yard game and like a 460, right? He'll get close to a thousand in two games. And then the rest like where

1:45:14there is just like a shootout, whatever happens. And then I just need to keep him healthy the rest of the way. And I'm going to get my 45. I like that. Yeah. I like it. You're all right. What do I do? So you're going to hate this. Okay. But who do you have for comeback play of the year? Because I have Jay Daniels, a plus M50. I like it. It doesn't mean he has to win 12 games. So I've boycott this bet after whatever when they change the rules about what constituted a comeback. I just got to confused. But you're right. It's probably something like that. Don't we want something to scream about? Like, yeah. Like this is they tell you Aaron Donald is not eligible because you can't be retired and come back. And yet he's sitting there as a third favorite. A plus 850. Why can't he be retired and come back? Well, isn't that the definition of a comeback? I think it is football for three years. And then I came back. Yeah. Guess who's coming back? Aaron Donald. Yeah. I think it counts as a comeback. A comeback player. Yeah. I find it hard to believe my

1:46:16homes is he going to win this unless he goes like seven and 10. And he's such a big favorite though. Plus 150. All right. Another favorite of mine. What are my favorite guys in the league? Mallory took him and our ringer of fantasy draft right ahead of me. I was upset about it. I tried to. I didn't want to give it a satisfaction. Brock Bauer's thousand yards plus 135. That's good. A couple things for this. One when he's actually healthy, he gets between 90 and 130 yards. That's one. Two. There's always less late games. And you need stuff to root for in the late games. And most of the time it's these two shit teams playing each other that you can't believe you bet on the game. Right. It's really fun. I just root for Brock Bauer's to make catches, right? That's two. Three. Their receivers are other than maybe Miami, the worst receivers in the league. But Miami does that have anyone like Brock Bauer's like Kubehack even said he had a quote last week about what's

1:47:16that guy's name? Jack Beck. Yeah. Bash. Yes. Jack Bash Harbys say it. And they asked Kubehack like, has anybody stood out so far in the receiver room? And he was like, no. He's like, the answers, no, they have not. So Trey Tucker, whatever Tucker, yeah. But Bauer's, I just think as long as it doesn't get hurt. And that's problem with all these. But I had to get a thousand yards. And we take like 12 games and get a thousand yards. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, because Kubehack and they work well together. Kubehack and cousins traditionally. So, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'm going to write that. What do you got? What do you got? I just did that. Bill's more wins in the Chiefs minus 120. Could be a lot more, but I have it 11 to 10. And again, Bill's 11 plus wins six years in a row. That's minus minus 120 minus 120. Okay. I had a bunch of over the Chiefs bets. I wanted to do it. I got psyched out. You did?

1:48:21I did. I just, I think the Chiefs, I don't think they have the talent. I don't think they're going to be good in yet. I don't want to bet against them because the legal will be so invested in trying to get them to 10 wins and trying to get them to be good. And I just, I don't want to be on the other side of that. Just been burned by them over the years. Okay. We're, I'm almost out of things. But I have a speed round five more each. I have more each. Yeah. Well, I'm running out of ones I really like, but one of them is Bears overnight and half wins plus 120. Okay. Um, 10 and seven I win. And I still, I'm still a fan. Um, the regression and the harder schedule thing. I just think that team has a lot of talent. And I really believe in Ben Johnson. As we talked about in the overrunners last week, I think he is a top five, six, seven coach in the league. And I find out how to believe he's going to go 98 with the weapons that they have. I don't see

1:49:21to go one to go one. Um, Caleb Downs defensive rookie of the year plus 700. Half to have it. Half to have it on my ledger. Really? God bless this kid. Already a great leader. Maybe the best leader we've ever had through three preseason games. Such a home run pick. Did giants pass on him, right? They took the lineman. Yeah. Well, they got, yeah. So they, right, they went the other way with it. Yep. Just a huge mistake. Just show them off. Um, did we do a Buka 1000 yards at plus 150? I don't think we did. No. Yeah. I'm taking it. I mean, he almost had this and half the season last year. It's going to have to do it. I have a lot of, I now, I know exactly what your fantasy team is going to look like Tuesday. I'm off for value. And I don't understand who else is catching a thousand yards on that team out of all the receivers they have. When Mike Evans isn't on the team anymore. You're going to have Baker

1:50:23and all his receivers. That's great. I'll take off. I'm not going to have any Falcon. You're going to have Brock Bowers. Yeah. How about Stafford? Most passing yards plus 500? Why not MVP? You know, gets rid of all of like a second and a half. I know I want against myself with Puka under, but yeah, it's where like three tight ends. So I run it back. Yeah. Um, I'm going to do another David Montgomery bet. Because for some reason, you left me both of the good ones. David Montgomery eight touchdowns. Just eight minus one. That's better. Eight. Rushing, right? Rushing. Yeah. I think it's just touchdowns. Does it? I thought it was touchdowns either way. I'll take it at eight minus one on two. All right. Here we go. Who's going to tap out? Oh, we do. No, we forgot to call this the Fogutter Chowdraft.

1:51:27You got that. Sorry. We're going to tap out. Daniel Jones under 18 to half touchdown passes plus one. Oh, you get a plus number for that. I don't think it's good for one of game. Under 18 and a half touchdowns, place 13 games. It's going to have to get like one and a half of a game. What are the odds on that? Plus 102. It's right there. So you know, my dad has six brothers and sisters. Yeah. Michael Chuck, who's been a topic of a lot of conversation over the years. Love Uncle Chuck. Great athlete. Quirky. One of the things with Chuck eats a lot. Goes out to dinner, over eats. Like combination or Brad, but also like a golden retriever. Like if you just left too much food out and can't stop eating and then it's sick. But stayed with my dad last month. When he stays over, he needs a chair in his bedroom that he can sit in because

1:52:34routinely he eats too much and he can't lie down. So he has to get up and he wants to sit in a chair so he can digest better. So when they come, when he comes, they have to make sure there's a chair there. And so they went, they took him like even Lewis or something when he was in town. He ate way too much. And my daughter was with them too, watching him just in disbelief how much he was eating. Like it was house-seed style. And then the next day, he's like, yeah, I had to sleep in the chair. Uncle Chuck. Oh, and shit is my hero. Yeah. We're gonna make the T-shirts. The chair. So he starts in the bed or he starts in the chair. He's in the, starts in the bed, but it's like eventually knows he has to end up in the chair. Oh, this is Brad. This is our friend Brad. Yeah. Oh, that's amazing. This is like house happening on the phone booth that time that had no phone. She's singing in the phone booth. Portland. Uncle Chuck. Yeah. Fly him out. Please. All right. Last one. We're last couple. Well, then we're gonna do a Super Bowl, right?

1:53:35All right. I'll do one. I'll do one. Am I up? You had Daniel Jones's? Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah. Okay. So I will bang out. Man, I really did everything. Did everything I wanted to do except for Oh, month Uncle Chuck's waiting. Sleepy. Yeah. I think I'm tapping out. Really? I'm down in a Super Bowl pick. Oh, yeah. I'm tapping out. Oh, I'll do I'll take a flyer. No, I'm out. I'm telling him. Oh, did we do, do we do price for offensive rookie of the year? You did 700 yards or something. Yeah. I'll do. Yeah. We do price offensive rookie of the year plus 650. Okay. I'm not doing either Cleveland receiver. I looked at that long and hard. I got excited about Boston. I actually have that bet. They're gonna have quarterback things. Yeah. The quarterback things that disaster. Yeah. Um, I'm trying to think if there's another category we missed completely, but what we're gonna do. Yeah. We're good. Um, do your Super Bowl pick.

1:54:39What is it? Well, my surprise is the Rams over bills at plus three thousand of 50 uh, Rams over bills. And if I, if it turns out to be the Jack score, which I have it as when it will, thirty one sixteen pays fifty thousand seven hundred. No, I made that up, but thirty one sixteen Rams beat the bills in so five this year. And what are the odds that that happens? Plus 30 50 plus 30 50. So basically thirty to one. Yeah. Bill's final. I get there. Okay. What do you go with? Don't say the Patriots come on. I feel like you've picked the bills to win the Super Bowl. I know. At least four times. And when you think about it, there's no dumber picked and picking the bills when they've never won a Super Bowl. And we talked about so close. I did it last year. And then it's the playoffs and Josh Allen's overthrowning somebody in the end, Allen and the bill. Ju-ju come back. And it's like, why? Why is anyone betting on this? Like, if it happens, it happens, but we shouldn't, shouldn't be something you put money on, but

1:55:41we can't resist. Well, this could be a good hedge if they make it to the championship game, which they didn't, well, they didn't do it last year either. I don't know. They've one of these years. My Super Bowl pick is Seattle over Houston. Seattle going back to back. It's plus 5340. So it's basically 54 to 54 to one odds. Wow. I normally avoid the back to back Super Bowl champ. The lack of respect for Seattle. This whole offseason has been truly breathtaking. And if there's ever a team that can be the nobody believes in us back to back Super Bowl champ, I think we found it. People don't believe in Sam Darnold. I even, you guys are talking about the NFC West thing. Like he led the division in interceptions last year. Are we sure he was even that good in the playoffs? Are we sure the running backs are good? Kubeak with that now that he's in Vegas, are they going to be able to run the ball? Their defenses worse, schedules harder. The Rams are a super team. This is the nobody believes in us like

1:56:41the Schmorgas board is that completely disrespected. They won the title last year. Even the Super Bowl, even the line for week one was disrespectful three and a half, playing a team they killed in the Super Bowl eight months ago. It's because it's Sam Darnold. I mean, let's face it, right? That's what core. Yeah, of course, because you wouldn't be shocked after saying all that. Poses to the ring of wise guys. If he had like 22 interceptions, and by the way, his interceptions went up last year from the year before. I think he plays worse defenses this year on paper, but are you going to be shocked if he becomes like the Sam Darnold of the Jets or like a little worse? I don't know. It's more of a bet for me on McDonald's. And the fact that he just might be 2000s ball check again. This team, even the games they lost, they almost were dating back to like a year and a half. And I just, I love that everybody does not believe in them. It fits my profile. I can't even tell you're going to root for on Wednesday.

1:57:43What was your favorite of that? That's not funny. What was your favorite of all your things? We did like almost 80. It feels like the first one, the Jets. Isn't that sick? Not discussing at the Jets to come in third. It's my favorite after all this. I think my favorite is Houston and Seattle both to make the playoffs plus one 12. But I also really like Falcon's Dolphin side. The first two, I took the fourth place plus three, 43. Yeah, your favorite has to be the NFC sound. So yeah. All right. That was really fun. Just so people know the plan. Give these out on Netflix. And then we jump in your 2002 Dodge Intrepid and we drive to the Kentucky Tennessee border and we place these bets and we drive back hopefully in time for Pat's Seahawks kick off. And we do that with Harlan Coban and with Harlan Coban. The three of us. It's going to be his next movie. We do everything by the book. You're going to wear a seatbelt. Everton. I've been wearing a seatbelt for the last month. I'm still not, I'm still unclear why people this made people so upset. Like it like if I had said I was smoking 10 cigarettes a day.

1:58:48Would that people make people more or less upset than the seatbelt? I think it's right up there. Well, let's take baby doll, for instance. I think this is this is something I could see baby doll, our agent, our crazy agent doing not you. And by the way, you throw out there that you can't see, you're playing a friggin Helen Keller. You're not able to see. I can see far. I can't see close. I see far greater than the windshield close. Like yeah, yeah, that's yeah, shit that goes on. That's close. Thanks for making it worse. No, you're using it now. It's good. Today's parent corner. I'm squinting is brought to you by Instagram. Instagram, teen accounts have automatic protections on by default, built in content settings for the content teens can see and I can't see contact limits for who can contact them and time management tools, like daily time limits and sleep mode. My left eye is so dry. Teens are automatically placed in the teen accounts and teens under 16 will need a parents permission to change any of these settings to be less strict. Instagram will continue adding built in safety features to help create

1:59:50age appropriate experiences. I'm so glad they're doing this. I think I read that correctly. I think I'm going to five minutes. You're like, so hold on. We got to do it. It was Instacart. I read it wrong. It's interstellar. I don't know. Was it Instagram? That was Instagram. I got that right. Okay, you're up first. All right. I have two beach stories with the summer officially wound down here. So, yeah. Last week, my youngest 12-year-old Harasow and I, we're going to go to the beach. I'm like, we're running out of days here. So he brings us surfboard. We stop at the convenience store, get some fruit sandwiches, chips, drinks, and heaven. We walk down to the beach. I lay it all out on the blanket. I'm like, let's eat first and then we'll go in the sea and it'll be great. He says, he's like, no, no, no, I got to go. I got to go. The waves are good. They could go away. They go away. He's like, yeah, they really could get less and it could be shorter waves. I'm like, all right, fine. So now all the foods out. I'm like recording him. He's like, get it. You're actually catching a couple and I'm getting some good shots and then someone sets up a

2:00:53blanket right in front of me. So now I can't record. So I have to walk down and record him. I just want to minute of him and then I'll walk back. So I'm recording him. I just happen to look back and there were 30 effing sequels on our blanket and they just devoured everything. The sandwiches, the chips and I go running up there like I'm a mad bat. They took the tub of watermelon, which is heavy for a bird. These scumbag rat birds took everything, everything, everything, and a half hour later, Harrison comes out out of the ocean. I'm like, well, we got some bad news. I'm like, the food is God. It's like, how much of my all of it? Yes, all of it. Is it like a little scrap of lettuce on the blanket, but a seagull will be there in a minute to get there. All right. So that's that story. Cut to the corner. Can I interrupt you? Yeah. Yeah. That was my fault. Completely my fault. Nothing cute about kids or anything. What does seagulls bring to the table? No, I know. It's kind of an underrated. They don't get enough scorn bird. I feel awful. Who has a good seagull story? Anyway, keep going.

2:01:58I have a good one. My father hated him so much. He would maybe plant alkyceltar on the blanket. Yeah. He's a bad dude. Not good for seagulls. I got to read the back of the probably should say that. Anyway, it's for that live. All right. Okay. So fast forward, another beach story to a couple days ago, our friend Brad, how would you describe for our first time Netflix? Actually, he's been on Netflix. He was in that hitchhiker that that hatchet wielding hitchhiker. Thank you. And on this pod with us, we've done stuff for them. Go back and listen. He's just a crazy person. He fled. He joined the Navy to escape paying gambling debts. He doesn't have a nervous system. I think would be the best way to describe him. That's the way the way he is day to day hour to hour minutes a minute is like if somebody came in right now and through fireworks into the studios, I was doing the pod and I jumped up because I was

2:03:03scared. That's kind of him all the time. Exactly. And he's loud and he's boisterous and he's very confident, right? Very confident. I'll go after you. I got a lot of opinions. The draft's going to be fun with him just going after. So anyway, all right. So I have custody of him for a couple days when Kimmel's on hiatus and he comes out here and he's like, I only want to go to the beach. So you would think if he only want to go to the beach, he would bring a bathing suit. But being 53 years old and having lived here a couple decades, he doesn't own a bathing suit. So I have to lend him a bathing suit. Yeah. Oh, no, I don't burn that thing. Yeah, that's it. So I lend him to burn him and the Seagulls at the same time. Yeah. I lend him a bathing suit. I don't expect to see it again. So he goes right for the ocean when we get there and he is getting pounded. He is getting slammed to shit by the by the waves. And he's screaming at the waves while he's getting slammed. He's like, turn it off, turn it off. It's like a lot of it is for show, but he's also getting like throwing around. And it also doesn't know how to like the drawstring is a far and

2:04:05concept to him. He just puts it on. I guess he's never had a bathing suit before. And so when he's getting hit by the waves, his, his, my bathing suit is immediately coming down. So he's nude and he's screaming in the ocean and onlookers watching from the beach, the reaction range from somewhere between thoroughly amused and considering pressing charges. And so after, I'm not getting like 20 minutes of this, my son Jack comes up to me. He's like, Hey, I think we should get him out. I'm like, All right, let's get him out. I'm on the thoroughly amused side, but let's get him out. And as we should mention, you're also video taping this. Yeah. So I'll send the videos later. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I'm video. I said that to you. And like the lifeguard walks up to and he's like, Hey, should you get him out? Like he's asking me if I should get him out. Like this is a situation like he should probably be in there, but he doesn't want to touch Brad. And so, so I'm going to have to pull him out. He's like, Oh, what are you doing? What are you doing? I pull him out. I'm like, you're nude. You're screaming. You're a menace. I have to get. Yeah. And he's like, mother fucker. I was just having fun out there. I like having fun. But you're dying within the

2:05:12lifeguard thought he was drowning, right? Yeah. The lifeguard's like, Hey, go get him. He's drowning. It's not a lifeguard thing to do. Anyway, that's that. We've got a great gun documentary. And that was my fourth son. I mean, here's the thing. He can't keep his normal pants on. Everyone L.A has seen his butt pack for 23 years. So putting a bathing suit on him, I don't know how tight the jar string would have to be. It's true. Yeah. I should have duct taped the tool. Yeah. Yeah. You might not or do the thing where they painted it on. Well, it's his now. So you could figure it out. Brad, I have two stories both about walks. I went back to Boston for my daughter's first two games, walking to the game. And it's kind of like drizzling a little bit. We're walking through the city. And I'm walking with my daughters are there. I'm walking with her boyfriend, the famous Hank and my son Ben. And I feel like this thing hit my

2:06:14head, which I thought was water. But I was like, man, that felt heavy. Pull my head up. And it's a giant green bird shit. That's just a clump. And I throw it down. So now it's on my hand. I'm wiping on the thing. But then and Ben and Hank are horrified. But I'm like, no, no, this is good luck. This is good luck. This is a big Italian thing. I wrote about this in 2004 when the when the red socks that whole playoff run, I got shit on by a bird. And I didn't wash the shirt because it was good luck. And I have a whole calm about it. So I'm since like, this is great luck. There's no way. Zoe's not scoring tonight. Um, which we could have bet on it. But they don't have a lot of D3 women soccer. But anyway, she did score. It was a good start for the season. I get to the game and people are like, hey, Bill. And I'm like, don't shake my hand. Hold on. I got birds. And then I walked like an extra 15 years. So anyway, that was one. The other one is, um, go to Fenway with my dad and my son and Hank. And my dad takes new brief meets us there.

2:07:16And then we're going to walk back to his place after which I would say is the 25 minute walk. We leave Fenway. They get killed by the Mariners. It was the one good game. The Mariners have played probably in 10 days. And I want to mention just as an aside, I hate the Mariners with the passion of seven hills. Wow. We have so many of them on our fantasy team. Katie Anderson, who they yanked around forever finally brought up. And now he's not even doing as well as we thought. George Kirby, who I would rather quit fantasy baseball than have him again. Josh Naylor, who's been pretty good this year and lip through, he just didn't run out of double play where the got the second basement, bobbled the ball, throws it and somehow they still get Josh Naylor in the double play because the whole team is quit on the manager. And then Munoz, the best closer nail, who's blown nine saves a share. And every time he comes in, he throws a hundred miles an hour and people just hit it everywhere. I hate this team. I can't even imagine how Mariners feel. I don't know why they haven't fired Dan Wilson, except there's a theory

2:08:18that they want the Mariners. They want the Mariners fans to feel happy after the year. So they're saving the Dan Wilson fire. Anyway, we lose to the fucking Mariners. And we're leaving Fenway and my dad's like, we should take a cab. Now it's like this huge mass of people and we're like, now we'll walk slow. Ask this guy. There's a cab driver there. It's like how much we tell the address. He's like, 35. I'm like, we're gonna ping 35 to go. It's a short walk. Dad, you'll be fine. We're walking. He starts complaining halfway through my dad's 78. He's doing, I'm 14 months till being 80. We stop at one intersection. He puts his hand on the meter. Danny says he has a pulled grind. He's like, I pulled my groin a few months ago. And so now we're arguing about his pulled groin on the intersection that, hey, pulled groin. How are you like playing pickleball? Get to the house. He's completely wiped out. And then the next day he's supposed to go to the museum with Ben and and Bales because he was still worn out from the Fenway Park 25 minute walk,

2:09:21which we then argued about for the rest of the way. And he's like, you should be more supportive. I have a pulled groin. And I guess this is just what our relationship is going to be like with our parents for the rest of our lives. I am a thousand percent on his side with this pulled with the 25 minute walk. 25 minute walk. First of all, I love all the meatheads who are gonna approach. Yeah, I love what you do, man. Hey, you know what you should do. You should talk about it. We want to eat them and then brown and then like, oh, how do you even deal with that for 25 minutes? 35. Who the? Who cared? I thought you were gonna say it was like, like, it's a nice day. It was a nice, nice nice walk. Nice day. It's a nice, nice walk. Now you agreed to screw in 78. I didn't know you had a pulled groin. So now I felt like I was like an elder abuser. Yeah. Yeah. It's then then he wouldn't go to the museum the next day. Wow. That sucks. And then I should mention during parent corner, we have a new strategy with my mom. Yeah. Because you'll know this because the Italian side, they want to be invited, but they never want

2:10:22to come. Oh, yeah. So we now call my mom every time we're doing anything because she'll turn it down, but then she feels like we thought about her and we asked her, like, you want to go this Labor Day party tonight? Starts at six o'clock. There's no way she's going, but now she feels, you know, she feels like, oh, they thought of me. They were nice stuff to invite me and you somehow win points, inviting them to do something they'll never do. I know you identified with that. Right. That's good. Of course. Are you making her walk? Is that why she's ever going? My mom walks every day. My mom was outraged that my dad wouldn't, he was like, this is why we got divorced. That's why it's gonna be mad at me. I don't know. I love it. Like 20 short, slow, 25 minute walk. Yeah. 78. Yeah. I mean, you power walk through the cysteen chapel. I mean, it's just a foreign concept to you. When we went to the Red Sox game, I didn't see him on the injured report. Like, shouldn't they put questionable question, but pulled great. You took your

2:11:24mariners frustration out on a 78 year old man. Very sad. One other thing on Fenway Park, they have the Fenway Frank, which is delicious, but they also have the jumbo Fenway Frank. It's like a fatter, better one. I think it's the best hot dog of, of, and stadium or, but it's really delicious. And they have the spicy brown mustard too. I just, I forgot. Oh, they do have it. So I think they're like one of four parks that have the spicy brown. There must be a lawsuit there somewhere because, yeah, what does it, Dodger Stadium does not, they say, yeah, they only have like the gross yellow mustard yellow for seven year old kids, the yellow mustard. Can we make this a passion thing for us for the rest of the years to push for more spicy brown mustard? It's like, yeah, it goes to the hot dog. Of course. The only thing I could think is there was a lawsuit. Someone burnt their tongue or some idiot complained and that was that. Oh, like it was too spicy. Yeah. So just make a nice spicy yellow. Yeah. I just forgot how good that jumbo dog is. This is great. That a great time. Anyway, that is, that's parent corner for us. It was brought to

2:12:25my Instagram. Instagram teen accounts come with automatic protections that limit who can contact teens, the content they can see in the time they spend on the app. Learn more about teen accounts Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at Instagram.com slash teen accounts. They pulled it off comes with automatic erections protection. Damn it. I can't read. I screwed up again. Oh, man. All right. That's it. We did it. Let me say one thing. I won't get us a trouble. Well, what the heck thing? And I just, I, I'm not going to get us a trouble here, but do you want the links you went through to get rid of your daughter's boyfriend? It was the, that it was Tony's I know, ask I can't believe it. And it knows I feel the opposite. I love Hank. I didn't want to put Hank in jeopardy. He fell for a hook line and see if it was a Tony's to pranima. Really was. I mean, he's got a work release. He has to get out for three hours to go to Red Sox came with you. It's very sad. Listen, it would, it was a very funny bit on the

2:13:30podcast last week and probably probably covered my opinion on whether it should stay because we're always going to go for the comedy first. Right. This week, you're going to get in trouble because your dad was feeding alcoa cells or the seagulls. This is just how it's going to go. You fed your dad to the seagulls, making a wall there that did. It's been is mystery pulled great. People already mad at me. They say I instigated that whole story and I feel like I, I feel like I'm the guy run interference on some of your controversial decisions. I remember when you the time you wanted to come out and brag about tossing your jury summons in the trash. And I'm like, don't do it. You're going to get in trouble. And you know, like, yeah, you made that up. You made that that's it for Harlan Cobens, Guest of Lions, year 20. Check that out. Uh, thanks to Eduardo and Chris and Gahau and Jack and everybody at Spotify, Jack Wilson, just a complete maniac runs production for us and just went in on went in today. Just wanted to make sure everything goes right. So thanks for going and you went into work to help produce this.

2:14:32Um, neither of us are there. And then we thanks, uh, thanks to everybody who voted on the polls. Thanks to everybody who sent a mail back. So when we come back on Sunday, it will be after Cowboys giants. It will either be both of us happy because we have Cowboys bets or a Chris Fallen Sound me screaming at you. Why don't you bet on the Cowboys and come on. Don't screw me. Give me one week. Pure joy. Thanks, Netflix. Cause it's out. Good job. I you. Good job buddy. Must be 21 plus in president select states for Kansas and affiliation with Kansas star or 18 plus in president DC Kentucky or Wyoming. Game problem caught 100 gamble or 1 800 by reset.

2:15:517 0 7 8 6 7.