How to Honor Your Husband: Build Him Up

by Marilynn Chadwick

Showing respect is vital to any healthy marriage. But when it comes to honoring our husbands, it helps to understand that no two marriages or men are exactly alike. Words and actions which make David feel honored and respected might go right over the head of your husband.  

I can choose to build up my husband or break him down with the words I speak to and about him. I also encourage David's leadership of our family through my words. For example, the words I speak to our children influence what they think about their dad. Same with outsiders. Careless words can tarnish his reputation in the eyes of others. Proverbs 14:1 reminds us that a wise woman "builds her house," but a foolish one "tears it down." As wives, we sometimes forget the weight our words carry. The Bible has much to say about the power of our words.

I have been inspired by what the Bible teaches us about honor. As a result, I'm trying to be more intentional about showing honor to David. However, I've come face to face with an important realization: Honor demands far more from me than simply submission.

I fully appreciate submission in marriage as part of the biblical framework of love and respect (Ephesians 5:22). But to truly honor my husband, I have to set the bar much higher than submission. Honor requires self-sacrifice. Humility. It challenges me to bridle not just my words, but also my thoughts. It makes me bite my tongue. Honor confronts me with my sin.

Honor, even more than submission, is an imposing benchmark and a sublimely powerful target. For if I take aim and hit the bullseye of honor, I am probably covering all the other virtues that make for a strong marriage.

So in this way, honor conforms me to the image of Christ. In short, honor requires a strong walk with the Lord. I guess you could say that to truly honor my husband, I must first become honorable.

This series is adapted from Marilynn Chadwick's book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!