Jess Hilarious: Jess: Fix My Mess

0:00The Real Peo. Help me. Help me. Oh my god. I'm all up in your mess. I'm gonna fix it. Fix it. Fix it. Just gonna fix your mess, cause my advice is real. Morning everybody. It's DJ N.V. Jessalari. It's all I mean, the guy we are, the breakfast club. It's time for Jess to fix my mess. Hello? Who's this? Hi, this is Ashley. What's your question for Jess? Hey, Jessalari. I'm currently in a little feedback. I'm sorry. I'm currently in a strange relationship with my husband, right? And so we have three children together. One is 11. One is 9. And one is 6. Well, when he left the home, he'd been in this girl and she and I, we never got along. He's 44 and she's 28. And so he left. They started a relationship. That's fine. Well, they recently broke up and we just found out a couple of days ago, they were going to hang around back together.

1:01And my son found that because they were sharing a screen and he saw the text messages of their conversation. The problem that we're running into is that the children cannot stand this girl. And so I'm trying to figure out what's the best way to communicate to him that the relationship that he has with this girl is very toxic and our children are devastated about their reconciliation. How old are you? I'm 38. And how was your husband? 44. Oh, that's what you did. Somebody was 24 and 28. No, she was 28. She's 28. Oh, the girlfriend is 28. Okay. Okay. I know that's right. How are you still married? Let's just start there. Like there's no, you guys aren't looking to get it. Why are you guys still married? The legality of it, honestly. The paperwork. The paperwork. Cheaper to keeper type-ish, or like what is it, I'm sorry, Jacob. It was like cheaper to keeper type-ish. You know what I mean? No, no, no, no. I think it's just honestly being lazy, not dragging ourselves to the port house.

2:01Yeah. Because this just sounds crazy, the whole headline of it. This is your husband, your husband's girlfriend, whom you have a problem with, is actually affecting the co-parencing relationship, huh? For sure. That is crazy. Okay. She's a mom star. Oh, okay, so they have a baby, too. No, not at all, but the thing is, is because of our relationship, our co-parent's relationship, she likes to sometimes wear her ugly head and make comments and not particularly care for the dynamic that we have. Okay, no. And so, you know, what is the difficult breaking an eye to co-parent? Right. What is the dynamic? And I'm going to tell you why I feel like she's a little bitter and she's not. No, I got you. No. I mean, we're just honestly we're cool. Like, I'm not one of those where you can't see your kids, hey, you want to come over and see the kids. I run over to four real quick while you have a house watching them, it's nothing like that. And when I say nothing, it's nothing like that. Okay. So y'all are not even attracted to each other anymore, y'all are just really like me and

3:03my son's dad, like we're like brother and sister family, precisely. Okay. Okay. So, you guys are still married. That is a barrier that the girlfriend probably feel like can never be broken because not only are you taking accountability saying that it's being lazy, but it's also lazy on his side. Like, why won't you divorce your wife? Like she's still your wife. So yes, she has a problem with the dynamic because y'all could get back together at any moment because neither one of y'all are pressed to get a divorce, to go through with the divorce. So she's technically a mistress at the end of the day. You like it? That's not a problem. Not mine. I mean, but the thing, but I think the thing is that I'm so reluctant to call her that because it's not like I'm wanting the relationship back. So it's quiet as kept, but I'm happy for their relationship in terms of him being able to just go out and be free, but in terms of the type of individual that she is, I just thought that he would have picked better crop.

4:04Okay. So those are your personal feelings about her, girl. Thank God. Actually, is she disrespectful to your children? She has done some very questionable things with my children. Okay. Does she hurt them in any way, physically, emotionally, like does she hurt them? Has she put them in harm's way yet? Because I honest, I'm telling you, Grandma, keep it all the way funky with you. I feel like the problems that you have with her wouldn't be the problems if y'all got an actual divorce because she's in a relationship where she doesn't feel like she fully has the man. And imagine her friend groups and her family members like that, you still mess with that Murray man. And he's saying, getting back with his wife, but I mean, they so cozy and they cool and all that. But, you know, your boyfriend is still married to his baby mom, who he has an excellent dynamic with. I'm a little worried for you, sis. You know what I'm saying? Like, imagine that being in her head all day every day, you know what I mean? I do believe that you would, if she was calling me your kids, girl, you would sound totally

5:06different than what you sound right now. I just, um, I mean, I think, because I think there are levels to it. I mean, like, harming, we think about harming like, is she really, is she's laughing my kids across the face? Absolutely. Yeah. Or disrespecting them verbally, you know, just even offending them or, you know, they're not safe with her or that, you know, they're dead. What's the answer? Good for me, Jess. Fix this meant for me. If your daughter was eight years old, would you allow her to have acrylic nails? Would I allow her to have what? A acrylic nail. No, I would not, not personally know that's not for me. So she's not for me either. Okay. Okay. So she basically took your baby to get her nails done and she's eight. You're picking up when I'm putting down. I got you. All right. But you know what? Your baby girl probably wanted to get that done. Now that's not, I'm not saying, you know, and the girl is a little younger. She's 28, y'all are in y'all 40s, you know what I'm saying? And, you know, 38 and then 44, you know what I'm saying? She's younger. She's trying to appeal to the children because she is their stepmother, basically, like she's in. Oh. Okay. Okay.

6:07Right there, you ain't even picking up what I'm putting down because now you don't consider her stepmother. Listen, listen, we got look, we got the. We have the aquarium vibes. You got the players up there doing my best, what you putting down, but who on you step mother? I'm the. I mean the catchal. I used too much dip on this, right because you ain't ready to accept that, but that ain't saying. You know why you can't accept it. Give me a question. Right, you know why you're not accepting it, you're not accepting it because that's still your husband. Girl, when I tell you that that shit has failed. I know, I know, but he's still your husband, so he's still at the shore. It didn't, it didn't sail for real for real. Girl, get the book. Don't play. Get the book. Let me answer the grand. What you got? DM me, but pre-order my book for real because it do sound like, you know, like y'all, you and a girlfriend just got you on your baby day to sound fine. But you and your husband sound fine, but you and the girl has to come to an understanding. That's just all it is. But you should pre-order my book so deftly we parent. Get it right now so you can read

7:08it as soon as it comes out when April 28th, girl. Because man, we need to talk some more. We do. We do. We do. And put me on the other island. I'll give you my number for real. So, but just I really appreciate you and I'm so unbelievably proud of you and everything that you've accomplished over these years. You really make us brown girls proud. Thank you, baby. Love you, girl. Love you, girl. All right. Just fix my mess. 800-585-1051. That was the good one right now. That was a good one. Hurry. Call up now. It was the breakfast clock in the morning. I got this.