My friend said my boyfriend was SHOWING OFF…because he paid my birthday bill! -r/weddingshaming | Reddit Stories| EP3017

0:00Hey, this is Dakota, and this is Riley, your favorite OK Storytelm host. And we got some great stories coming up. But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from the sponsors that keep this show alive. This is an I Heart Podcast. Guaranteed Human. Hi, this is Kylie Breakman, Angel Jaretana. Jeremy Colhane, Cash McDonald. And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast. The Improvised Character Comedy podcast, where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween sometimes. Does the Pope dress up? He winks on Halloween. It's right up next to the microphone. You get up. I hear you get the almost here. The eyelashes hit each other. You never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Listen to artists on Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I survived nine months in captivity. And I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.

1:03I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the survivor files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the survivor files with Elizabeth Smart on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering the ride on his motorcycle. I choose option B. I'm Julie Pinero, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My friend said my boyfriend was a show off for paying my birthday bill.

2:06You just have some money. It was my birthday, and I wanted to celebrate it only with the girls. I have a boyfriend and we talked before and I told him that if he felt comfortable, he could come and sit with us. If you feel comfortable, you can sit near us, but it is girls night. It is the girls night. However, he said that we would celebrate together just the two of us later, and I should enjoy my time with the girls separately. I said of course, babe, no questions, everything's fine. And so the day came. There were five of us in total, including me. We ordered mains, appetizers, cocktails, and had a great time. When we were already supposed to leave, my boyfriend walked into the restaurant by himself. He said hello to everyone and asked me if we were finished. I said, yeah, babe, we're done, and we're about to go get ready now. He said, okay, I'll go then and close the check and you guys can get ready. I'll help carry the gifts and flowers to the car. I said, okay, and he went to pay the bill to the administrator. My friends and I drank the last sip of our cocktails and started getting ready slowly.

3:09By the way, this comes from Johnny Cannon, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the R-Slasher, okay, story time, subreddit, I'm Sophia. And I'm Savannah. And we're here to give goodbye scufly what we don't know, everything. We only know some things. So if you know some things, fill in the gaps of our knowledge, please in the comments. And a piece says, just as we were leaving, my boyfriend came up to take the boxes. Suddenly, one of my girlfriends, Kira, said to him, said, do you want to show off in front of us like this? Someone is a bit too cool. I didn't really understand this. So I said, Kira, let's step aside and talk. I didn't quite understand your question. My boyfriend apparently either didn't hear this or it just passed by him. He just took the boxes and carried them to the car. We didn't even turn around. When we stepped aside, I asked her what she meant. She said, listen, I have nothing against you or your young man. The fact that he closes the chuck in your birthday is basically normal. But why was it necessary to say this in front of all of us? I told her I didn't think it could hurt anyone.

4:10I really didn't want to show off. Plus, they all know that my boyfriend closes checks for me in many places and gives me gifts. We have been together for three and a half years already. It's all out in the open. Why is she saying such things? She replied, it's good that he didn't name the amount in front of us at least. I told her she understood everything wrong and it honestly wasn't like that. She then admitted that for her, it looked exactly like that. Since she's single and doesn't have a boyfriend like him. So she's jealous. She's jealous. She's big time jealous. Now I'm overthinking the words. It feels like she's just projecting her own loneliness and jealousy onto my relationship. I am honestly thinking about distancing myself and cutting back on our communication. Because her comment felt toxic and ruined my birthday mood. Am I the knucklehead or wanting to minimize contact with her over this? What should I do? And we've got relevant comments. But what should OP do? Yeah, I think going maybe a little low contact or just even you can even tell her like,

5:13that's not cool what you said. And if you felt this was a problem, I would hope you could bring it up. Not on my birthday. You know, maybe wait a couple of days and say, hey, I noticed your boyfriend does this thing. It makes me feel a little uncomfortable. I think your boyfriend pays for like all your stuff and it makes me uncomfortable for some reason. Relive and comments, dazzling potion says she said that because she's jealous at your boyfriend paid. Watch your back with Kira, not the J- OP's or not the A-L. OP says your riot I used to feel sorry for her because she's been single for so long. And I know it's hard for her, but feeling lonely doesn't give her the right to ruin my birthday and insult my boyfriend. Distinct magicians says I'm not surprised you single. OP says honestly, she used to be such a nice fun and kind person to me, which is why I was always so surprised that she was single. But if she is truly filled with this much deep envy and bitterness, then I guess life is just showing her that you can't treat people this way.

6:14Mei Lee says she's just jealous and wants your boyfriend or is mad she can't get one just like him. I would definitely distance myself. My friends are never anything but happy for me. And I would never be anything but happy for them. So this is just weird type crap. OP says, yeah, some of the other girls at the table were also single, but none of them said or did anything like that. They were just happy for me. I think I've just been putting out with their behavior because we've been friends for so long. And I've always felt too much pity for her. Yeah, I would just say she doesn't seem like she's really a good friend. I like I I'm single in my friend group. I'm not the only single person. There's other people, but like I'm I never like you're very nice. Yeah, because I never like. Because why would I be? I mean, I don't know. I've never like I I don't know. I also don't really care to have someone or not have someone. It's not really like a big issue for me. So I think like maybe someone who is insecure about that and who wants that

7:18like could be projecting and doing that. I I'm more like, I don't you know, you guys are cute. Love you both. Yeah. I like I don't I don't know. I don't really try like I'm not in the relationship. And I don't really want to be. So yeah, I don't know. You were in our normal. You were in our relationship on on the Renaissance Fair. That is true. We were a thruple. We were a thruple. There's some really pictures of my boyfriend with some. It's true. They were really cute. The pictures. Update next day. I would like to share the news with you that we completely stop talking with Kira. We had a phone call with her. She even saw the post that I wrote. But she also stood her ground. So there was nothing more to discuss. I said that we're ending our communication. Very strange feelings to be honest. But everything happens the way it's supposed to happen. Thank you very much once again. And we've got some final comments. According pizzas says she should have just been grateful about how generous your boyfriend was for paying for all of your dinners when he didn't even attend the dinner

8:20himself. She clearly just couldn't handle her jealousy anymore and how to snap at you over it to make you feel the negative emotions she was harboring in her own heart. You don't need people like this in your life. You did the right thing ending the friendship. 100%. Opie says, honey, I completely agree with you. If I had dads before, now I am absolutely sure. It's honestly for the best that things turn out this way. And I'm glad this person left my life now rather than later when an even worse situation could have happened. So it's a total win. So boyfriend did pay for everyone's food and it's crazy that you're a how to issue with that. Yeah, what? If someone pays for my food, I said, thank you. Yeah, I'm like, oh my gosh, like let me let me get the next one or all by a drink or something, you know, like it's never like I absolutely love when people pay for my food because then I, you know, I'm like immediately, of course, I can pay for your food because you know, next time, I get a treat you next time because really I have spent no more money than I was expecting to spend.

9:25It's so nice. You can keep the treat to the treat going. It's a great little system we got set up here. It's so great. But that's the end of that story and we've got another one coming right up. My bridesmaid ghosted my rehearsal dinner then demanded special treatment all day. Yeah, not happening. I ran into one of my bridesmaids last year. One that I haven't really spoken to in 25 years at a sporting event. I've seen her multiple times now and probably we'll see her more often going forward. Wait, what? What? She became one of your bridesmaids after you ran into her after 25 years. We haven't really spoken to each other because of how she acted at my wedding. Oh, I thought you had a wedding coming up. Like this is post wedding. Understood. Her mom dropped her off for the rehearsal at the church, which was the night before my wedding. She asked if her mom could come in and watch the rehearsal since she was in the car. We said that we just wanted the wedding party and family in the church.

10:27She was upset by that then asked if her mom could at least go to the rehearsal dinner afterwards. We again said no, we just wanted the wedding party and immediate family. We told her someone could give her a ride if needed so her mom wouldn't have to sit around and wait. She said no that her mom would take her to the dinner. She never showed up to the dinner and she didn't answer the phone when I called multiple times. We had given the wedding party gifts at the dinner. I gave my bridesmaids matching jewelry to wear for the wedding since she wasn't there. She didn't get hers. By the way, this comes from Quiet Box $74.89. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the dollar size showcase story time subreddit. I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia and we're here to give some good advice. Maybe make you laugh a little bit. I don't know. You think we're funny? Leave us a like. You should leave us a like anyway. But, um, you know, but I'm just going to say we do not have all of the answers. We would only tell you what we would do in this situation, but you should tell us what you would do in the comments. Please. As Opie says,

11:27the morning of the wedding, she still hadn't answered any of my calls. We weren't sure if she was even going to show up. One of the groomsman's wife said she would go to her house, get the dress and stand in if she didn't show. Gotta love her. I love that. She's like, I am on call and ready. Uh, let me do. Luckily, my bridesmaid showed up flaunting jewelry that she was wearing. And God mad when I gave her what I wanted her to wear. She changed the jewelry finally, but then went to my husband, the groom, right before the ceremony and started complaining that we should have let her mom at the dinner. Girl, what is it about your mom? She can't come to everything. Yeah. He had to tell her not today before going up to the altar for the ceremony to start. That's actually crazy. Like you're about to get married. And this, you know, annoying woman is like, why didn't she let my mom? He's like, I'm about to get married. Girl, not right now. The whole day, mind you, she's married.

12:27She was hanging all over the groomsman she was paired with. Who's also married? While both spouses were right there. She said that he was so handsome and couldn't wait to dance with him at the reception. She was irritated when we told her to cut it out, saying she was just being friendly. I know I'm going to run into her again. She acts like everything is hunky-dory and we should pick up where we left off. I just can't do that. I'm cordial with her, but I don't go out of my way to say hi to her. I know it's been 25 years, but I just rather not deal with her. Then literally don't. It is that easy, guys. Uh, there are some comments and commenter one is downvoted. Quite often the dinner is at a home and there's plenty of food. O.P. was immature and regulating the bride's maid's mom to the car. I doubt O.P.'s mom and mother-in-law would have minded letting someone quietly sit in the back of the church. I know my mom would have been upset with me for not being gracious.

13:28O.P. responds, our dinner was at a restaurant and paid for by my in-laws. Who were on a budget? And there's an update. I mean, I think it like, maybe like who I am and who my family is, we would have loud, you know, yeah. Pretty calm, I guess really not that way. I don't think it's a crazy request, but I think when they say no, you respect that. Yeah. They're like, no, sorry. You know, whatever. I'd be like, oh, okay. Like, I don't go and be like, make them feel bad. Yeah. Yeah. Update. This turned into a lot more than I ever thought it would. I posted this out of curiosity of what people thought of the situation and see if it was reasonable to not want to be friends with her. I'm cordial with her when I see her. Say hi, chitchat, et cetera. We're Facebook friends and her mom passed away earlier this year. Oh, I sent my condolences and I will go up to her and give her a hug when I see her next. My husband and I were at my dads for football Sunday with my brother and aunt. We were talking about the upcoming hockey season

14:30which it was at a game where I saw my bridesmaid. At dinner, my family started reminiscing about the event which got me thinking. Some background on things that people are commenting on. Everyone lived about 20 to 30 minutes from the church and restaurant where the dinner was. Safe neighborhood. My aunt also a bridesmaid lived five minutes from her and offered to give her a ride. No problem. They knew each other. The wedding party was mostly family, brothers, cousins and swith made of honor in bridesmaid and two groomsmen not being family. Only additional people at the rehearsal and dinner that was not a bridesmaid or groomsman were our parents. My in-laws paid for the dinner at a nearby restaurant. Pastor wanted to keep the rehearsal simple and we agreed which was why there weren't a lot of people. The church wasn't open 24-7 and we had to schedule the time. The morning of the wedding, when she went up to my husband, the groom, to complain about the night before it was literally right before he went up to the room

15:32by the altar to wait for the ceremony to start. His mom had to tell my bridesmaid to leave him alone. Her mom came to the ceremony and reception but left the reception early with her dad. At the reception, she kept wanting to slow dance with the groomsmen even trying to cut in when he was dancing with his wife. Very weird. Because they were a pair. Doesn't mean you're married now. Yeah, no, no. Yeah, it's not just like, oh, well, you were paired up together. So, sorry, husband. This is who I'm with now. This is my husband now. groomsmen's wife was upset but didn't say anything. My mom, aunts, and maid of honor tried distracting my bridesmaid so she would leave him alone. For the first five years of our marriage, my husband and I were working full time in night school. We lost touch with a lot of friends because we literally didn't have time to hang out. Being gone 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. Monday through Thursday and spending time with family, studying laundry, etc. on weekends. We're very happily married and spend time with family often

16:33as we are all still local. There's a second update. I'm just going to get him to it. I'll add the other drum of the event. I was sick going to the doctor the Thursday before and was on an antibiotic anasteroid. During the rehearsal, when our pastor was talking about the vowels, I had a coughing-slash-sneezing fit. I made it through the wedding day but was sicker afterward and ended up vomiting all night. No, that sucks. That is not the type of, you know, state you want to be in right before and during your wedding. Yeah. Oh god, I would hate my life. If I'm sick on my wedding, no. No. I would be so upset. The week before my wedding, I'm quarantining, I'm taking heck of freaking vitamin C, taking airborne every day for two months before I'm not having any other sugar because I don't want to break out. We're... it's serious. The night before the wedding, my husband stated his parents.

17:34He started feeling sick and went looking for cold medicine in the middle of the night. He stubbed his toe in the dark. It was so swollen in the morning, he almost couldn't get his shoe on. Wait, wait, this is right before the wedding too? Oh my gosh. Stay before the wedding. Oh lord, that's funny though. That, I mean, I imagine 25 years later, it's kind of a funny memory. Now, we were both sick as dogs, and we still got married. Also, that's not the end of it. My dad threw his back out the weekend before, and it's so funny. This is so funny. Comedy of errors, series of unfortunate events. Grumesman was talking about his grade school principal because the grade school was just down the street from the church. He was saying that he was a knucklehead because he had to spend a lot of time in the principal's office. The principal was the father of one of the other Grumesman who agreed his dad wasn't knucklehead. That was more just like updates rather than like, yeah, anything on the, that's just like what happened. There's not much to comment on, but it does seem like you have a good life now,

18:35and it seems like your wedding was pretty funny. Yeah, and I don't know. You never have to really see this woman, so I agree, just be cordial, be like, hey. Anybody out there who doesn't like hanging out with someone, and you think they're really annoying, and they just give you grief, don't hang out with them. Just go like low contact and then eventually no contact. Yeah, every time they text you, oh, okay. Liked message. Exactly. My aunt, Bridesmaid, hit her head, getting out of the car and almost broke her glasses. What is going on? My other aunt, Bridesmaid, tripped and almost fell during pictures. My mom tripped stepping down from the altar and almost fell at church. There's a picture that shows our pastor in a diving motion like he was trying to catch her. For real, your wedding is cursed. My mom did fall at the reception on the dance floor. She was laying on the floor laughing when my mother-in-law looked over and said, eh, she's fine. I started vomiting in the car on the way to the hotel, the night of our wedding. When we got to the hotel, my husband asked if someone could help with our luggage

19:37because I wasn't feeling well. The front desk clerk joked asking if I had too much to drink. My husband said, no, she's really sick. Given everything, we all had a blast and reminisce, often about the good times, slash funny things that happened during the event. And we're still happily married. I love that. I was just going to compare it to about time. Yes, I love about time. Yeah, that scene with the wedding. Are you sure it's gonna see no? Well, yes, but also the scene with the wedding. Yeah, how it's like raining, pouring. But they're like loving it. I think it's so cute. I love about time. It was one of my top four movies. I think I did move it down one. So it's down top five. But I think it is the best rom-com of all time. Oh, yeah. It's so good. And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go to the next one. Another student kept creeping up on me at college. So I started documenting everything. Stay back. You know what concerns me is when it says another. Who's the first? So I, 20 female, help out a teacher, friend of mine,

20:4034 female in some of her classes. She used to teach me in the beginning, but some years on, now I help other students and your classes so that they can practice their work. This one student of hers, 25 males, suddenly became overly attached to me. Always making a point of saying hello to me at the start of every class. He doesn't do this to anybody else, even the teacher. Lingerying close to me when I'm stood next to him or turned away from him, making a point of saying goodbye to me, asking for personal details and contact info, following me out of class when he should be going in the opposite direction, and just general looks in my direction that creep me out. This started maybe three weeks into the course, one lesson a week. I haven't ever given him extra attention over the other students, made any attempt to be anything more than an assistant to the teacher or gave him any reason to think that what he is doing is solicited. By the way, this comes from Kaseki Kumo. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the R-Slatch okay story time subreddit.

21:40I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia. And we are here to give some good advice. Maybe a little goofy, maybe a little not so much. I don't know. I'm just going to spill out the info that I know and so Sophia. And then we're going to combine that info, throw it up at you guys, and then you guys are going to regurgitate it into the comments. As Opie says, I thought initially I was making a mountain out of a mole hill, so tried to nip it in the bud. I told him I'm not okay with him entering my personal space, and then I'm here to answer any questions he has related to the work, but nothing else. He apologized, but the week after all creepy vibes intensified, and he started to make me jump by creeping up behind me on purpose when he says hello. He'd still find ways to get a little too close, leaning in or hovering just behind me until I move away. I've said, please just give me some space countless times by now. Speaking to the teacher, she looks out for me like a mom would. She said I no longer had to help him in class,

22:40and she also told him that he needed to keep his distance from me. Other students in the classroom noticed, I looked rather creeped out, 22 female and 24 male, have also gone out of their way to position themselves in between us when he has moved to sneak up on me. I mean, at that point, if it's something that like a lot of people are noticing, I would get some sort of like, Dean of students. Yeah, I would get a security or something. Yeah, I would get someone else involved. Yeah, and be like, hey, weird stalker on my case right now. Weird guy alert. Weird guy alert. Weird guy. Speaking to them, one of whom also takes another separate class with him, they confirmed his behavior is exclusively towards me. So I stopped helping him, and regrettably, that had to include people who sat near him for fear he would try to start a conversation with me. A few weeks of realizing I was completely blanking him, and he starts to follow me out of class. I know he has to catch a bus, which has it stop in the completely opposite direction

23:45from overhearing conversation with other students in class. It's dark when the class is finished, and I have to walk a little bit to get to the car. This guy is six four and easily twice my weight. So scary. I'd be walking out with people. Yeah, I would not be going anywhere alone. Yeah, I've done that after late night rehearsals. Yeah, no, I always got people to walk me back. Yeah, always. Or I would run. Or even people that I've run to my car. Even people that I've worked with in the past, they will be like, do you want me to walk you to your car? I'm like, yes, I would love that. I would like that, thank you. Yeah, it's either that or I'm on the phone with like this. Yeah, I call my dad, especially after climbing, especially when I would park in the neighborhood. I would call someone and be like, hey, little dark. Be careful out there, ladies. And I'm rather chubby to begin with. He wouldn't say anything to me when he followed me until two weeks ago. He asked to have my email address for help with an upcoming test.

24:46I made up an excuse saying I didn't have time and that the teacher already sent it out. Thankfully, she hadn't. I told him clearly that I didn't want to speak with him and that he should leave me alone like I've asked and like he's been told before marching away from him. Last week, he was behind me in the queue for coffee in the student union, the barista 22 mail. And I were having our usual weekly flirty bento that we have when I grab a drink to take to class. He did not like this one bit and interrupted our conversation to ask me more about the test, whether I wanted to sit down with him to talk it over in the 15 minutes we had until class started. I said no and gave the barista a look. At the counter, waiting for our drinks, they came at the same time and after I'd picked mine up, he stepped in close and gestured for me to follow him over to a nearby table. I moved away and to the side taking my phone out and pretending to text someone awkwardly because I didn't know how to deal with it and I'm not one to cause a scene. I mean, one thing you could do because presumably you're in a coffee shop

25:47that has a bathroom, I would just go to the bathroom. Can't follow you in there. You can get in the bathroom and then like when you get out like on a phone or whatever. Or even like text the, text the, or call the... Yeah, text the teacher. Yeah, to come get you. Yeah, text the teacher be like, hey, I'm going to be a little late, I'm waiting for him to leave. I literally had to hide in the bathroom. He is stalking me. I can't. I can't that women have to go through this. It's so annoying. My wonderful barista saw the whole thing and came over and outright told him to back off because it was clear I was really uncomfortable. I hadn't told the barista about this guy so maybe his creepiness is more obvious than I thought. I bet it is. He walks off presumably to class where I follow after explaining the situation to the barista for a couple of minutes. Unfortunately, the coffee shop is closed when class finishes, so it's not like I can wait there for a bit before going to the car. He doesn't speak to me in class not even in usual hello or goodbye, but he still follows me halfway to my car on the way out in silence.

26:47Class took a break this week and I'm really at a loss for what to do in time for next week. I enjoy helping out the other students are fine and I don't see the point in having to give it up because I'll feel like this guy is one. Why is he doing what he's doing? Could what he's doing be considered stalking? Should I talk to the department that runs the course about his behavior? Should I talk to the authorities? Or am I really making something out of nothing here? I really don't know what to do and he invites to help put an end to this once and for all would it be most appreciated. Everything you said do that. Do it all. If you're thinking those things then it's probably time to do them. Yes, you are not overreacting. If your gut is telling you something listen to your gut and even if you were overreacting still that's pretty. That's pretty. Sorry. Exactly. Like why? Then sorry. I don't deal with other people because everyone is unpredictable. You don't know what anyone is going to do and like you could piss him off by rejecting him

27:48and then he goes insane. Yeah. Like and let's just get people supposed to deal with this in on it. Yes, that's what authorities are for. Let them do their job. There are some relevant comments from OP. I'll definitely start documenting this stuff. I hadn't even thought of doing that before. I text my teacher friend quite a bit so I can pull all the ones concerning him from past weeks and add to it. I'll try and set up a meeting with them and I can show it to them. I'm pretty sure there must be plenty of CCTV cameras on my route so I guess I could also ask whether they still have the footage from the street and in the coffee shop. When told next time make a scene and get others to notice, OP responds I hadn't actually thought of it in that way. I didn't want to be further embarrassed and I thought it could only agitate him a bit more. Even when the barista called him out quite harshly on it, it didn't seem to face him and he's still carried on. But I'll definitely try it

28:48when I know I'll have witnesses. Update four weeks later. Well I hope she got people involved. It seems like she has been given some good advice. See if she takes it. Yeah. You don't want to mess with this stuff. It's just, it's scary. And you don't know what he's thinking. Like you don't know he could have a shrine. Like he could be overly, I don't know. He could be absolutely insane and you just don't know. Update four weeks later. The general consensus was that this guy is indeed a stalker. So I should be escalating my attempts in trying to get rid of him by going to the relevant authorities. Since my post, I arranged an appointment with the department that runs the course first thing on Monday. My teacher had relayed her concerns but it seemed the head of the department wasn't taking things too seriously so far. Probably if it was just the teacher saying it was probably because OP hadn't said anything. Hopefully, I'm hoping. A police community support officer was also present

29:49along with the teacher and the four of us went over to campus security to get CCTV footage of my route from class. They only kept two weeks worth of footage locally. The rest goes off to a separate security firm to archive. So they could only get that one week of him following me in silence. The film was pretty dark but it's hard to mistake this guy. OBSKY following me. They put in a request for more footage and in the meantime we went to the coffee shop in the student union that barista figuring it would be needed had already made a copy of the incident that happened there where he tried to corner me into sitting down with him and also gave his input on the situation to the head of the department and PCSO. Watching that back, it gave the department reason enough to make the decision to ask him to leave the course without refund. Nice! Love that! Finally, some good stuff happening for you. That was going to happen in a separate meeting the very next day. The teacher was present in that meeting so she let me in on what happened.

30:49Apparently this guy didn't deny his actions outright but really didn't engage with the questions he was being asked either. He didn't object to being thrown out of the course and he didn't get angry or anything like that which to me comes off as even creepier. He has been told to stay away from me and not go near the building when class is being held. But as for other areas on campus, I've been told by the PCSO that it's hard to enforce any kind of restraining order in that respect. I spoke to the student, Union. It actually upgraded my parking permit so I could park next to the building where class is being held so I can get in my car as everybody is leaving, walking past, and able to see me. It's also much better lit so I feel much safer while the days are still short. I bought a personal alarm and also have dug out a pair of boots with heels. I suspect will be very painful should I stamp on someone or punt them where it hurts. But I can still run pretty quickly in them so I've been wearing them around campus. For the rest of the week,

31:49I didn't see the creep either, but I'm not naive enough in thinking he might just drop it all after one meeting. Going back to the coffee shop in the student union, there have been sightings of him but he doesn't buy drinks from there anymore. And on a much nicer note, the Burista has asked me out after months of back and forth flirting. Okay. A little little little white night moment. Love story. He said, I just had to protect you. Now I'm in love. That's my bread and butter. He said that maybe we should wait a couple of weeks until things have calmed down, to which I said that I shouldn't let this whole thing get in the way of my social life. We've found we have a mutual friend, so instead he suggested that she come along and kind of shaperone us to put me at ease and in turn put himself at ease too. That's really considerate. Presumably like, oh, you know, I don't want you to be alone with not that he's a strange man, but like alone with a man. When you've just experienced this kind of creepy thing with a man being alone with you, it's very considerate. That weekend we all went to the cinema

32:50and then for dinner and I had a great time. There was no pressure from him whatsoever and he said up front, this could be the premise to see whether we should go on further, proper dates, so neither of us felt obliged. First class without grief went very well. I think the whole atmosphere has improved for everyone and I can get on with things without having to watch my back. I went straight to my car with someone from class on their way to the train station, the one that also knew him from a different class who has told me his behavior in other lectures hasn't been out of the ordinary for him. He seems like kind of a loner. We didn't see him around and neither did any of the other students upon checking in a group chat we've set up. I text my teacher when I get home to confer, I made it back safely. I got a call back from the head of the department today to say that they had watched the rest of the CCTV footage through. They've informed all of his professors on his main course so that they can watch out for and report any further creepy behavior of his and that someone over at adult safeguarding

33:53had been informed. Okay, that's, that is awesome. All good news. They're doing it. But if the creep ever approaches me again, I'll call the police. He's had enough warning from people in authority now that he can't say that I didn't make it clear enough. I don't want him around me. So I know I'll have a pretty solid case if it ever comes to it and hopefully it won't. I just thought this is an excellent example of what to do when you feel uncomfortable around someone for anyone out there. But also, you know, for young women who maybe think, oh, I'm overreacting. Oh, you're just trying to be nice. If you have a bad gut feeling, trust it. Definitely, yeah, definitely with people, if you have a weird feeling, you got to go with it because you just don't know. Everyone is unproductable. No one can read mine. No one knows what anyone's going to do at any moment during the day. So it's like, it's just scary. Especially with someone who's like being attached to you and you want nothing to do with it. It's just, no, no, I'm all right.

34:54Thanks. In the past couple of weeks, I've seen the creep around campus once or twice. I always text somebody when I do. But I make like, I'm ignoring him and still so far he hasn't approached me. I'm getting on with things and I haven't let this get to me. Past what it already has done. I went on more dates and now I can say, I have a lovely, and protective boyfriend who looks out for me too. He's a real gentleman and I don't know how long it would have taken either of us to ask the other out if this isn't and didn't happen or how it happened. It was a real push in the right direction for both of us. And I feel we're more confident because of it. There is an edit here. I know a lot of people have and will recommend the possession of pepper spray, etc. But it's not legal in the UK no matter how much safer I would feel with some. Thank you for your concern. Yeah, it's also not legal in on, on at least when you see campuses, I'm assuming on any college campus in California.

35:56Really? Why? I mean, I don't even have, I have a little like, you know, I was the only going to use this thing. OPE, you did exactly the right thing. So I commend you for that because a lot of people do it, maybe when it's too late or just think that it'll go away and then it doesn't, you know, and then it becomes more serious. So I'm glad that you decided to just nip it in the bud in the beginning. So nothing, you know, nothing went all, hey, why are you? I always heard it wasn't legal, but it seems like based off of this very quickly, uh, research, it is legal. Okay, good. Because college people are creepy. Sorry, they are. And that's the end of this story. We're going to go to the next one. Hey, this is Riley. The host, I can't really read that well. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes worth of ads from our sponsors. Hey, everyone, it's the Jonas Brothers with the Hey Jonas podcast. We've been catching up with some great friends Paul Rod, Michael Bubley, Seth Meyers, Nile Horan, Jake Shane, and making some new friends while getting into what's really like to have sisters,

36:58like Alex National. She likes to control everyone and tell everyone what to do. Okay, well control is a harsh word. I would say that's a harsh word. I am more outspoken. Growing up a lot of the times because she was so quiet, I would speak for like the both of us. Now I'm working on like thinking a mom, just really needed it and thinking before I speak. And Joey King. You know, if your like mom is yelling at your sibling, and even if you're annoyed with your sibling, you just like won't let that slide. It's like, you only can yell at your sibling. I'm like, you can't do that here. That is not what I'm talking about. Like that. I just like about it. Like that. Plus, we've been taking your calls, listening to your voice mails and giving advice, or at least trying to. So if you've got catching up to do now with the perfect time, listen to Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, this is Kylie Breikman, Angel Jaretana. Jeremy Colhane, Patrick McDonald. And we're the hosts of the artists on artists on artists podcast. The Improvised Character Comedy podcast, where each week a new panel of artists

37:59discuss their craft. Join us for a panel of wellness influencers. What I try to do is foe journal. I don't know, I think I sort of foe journaling. Yeah, it's reading. It's called reading. Yeah, so you're so we don't like to use that word anymore. Okay. A panel of New Yorker cartoonists. Have you guys done Terry Gross's Peloton class? No! I've been dying too. I'm so sorry. I'm seeing a reading of Sadako in the Pals 1000 paper cranes by Audra McDonald at the Wonderland bookstore. 14. That's crazy. I went to the Wonderland bookstore yesterday and I heard Norah Jones do a reading of Zero Dark Thirty. No way! And Patrick of the last bookstore, though, Kim Kertroll is reading the guitar tabs of yesterday. A panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween sometimes. Does the Pope dress up? Hi, he winks on a lowly. He gets right up next to the microphone. You get up, I hear you get the elbows here. The eyelashes hit each other. You never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween.

38:59Listen to artists on artists on artists on artists on the I heard radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. By Asia Rather and Arsola, at least 70% have a phone. Middle school is a different world than the one we grew up in. I'm Dr. Joy and this is Therapy for Black Girls. We spent real time on it in our surviving middle school run. Bringing in a child psychologist and a psychiatrist who's raising two black girls of his own to talk about what's really going on with our kids right now. So it's literally physiological and neurological, air psychological chaos happening all this in time. We got into group chats and gaming, friendships and bullying, and how to tell the difference between healthy monitoring and the kind of surveillance that erodes trust. You're belonging. You could think of belonging as I can be myself and I can still be accepted. And then there's fitting it. Spitting in says I have to change who I am in order to avoid rejection. Then we turn the conversation toward the fathers, sitting down with therapists, caregains on black fatherhood,

40:00and what it means to raise a daughter through this stage. You don't have more shorts so you can't do flips. You have one to dress you up across your legs. That's the range of this run. From screen time to identity to the fathers doing the work at home. We have to get off our device. But the reality is there's a lot of life out there that we don't want you as your adult in the life to miss out on. This has been our surviving middle school run. Brought to you by the people who spend their careers thinking about exactly this. I'm Dr. Joy. Listen to therapy for black girls on the iHotReneo app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. My girlfriend demanded my social security number, so her friend could background check me. I don't think that works. I, 27 male, have been in a relationship with my girlfriend, 31 female for almost a year now. This evening she sat me down and said she needs to have a serious conversation with me. And she asked for my social security number. I said absolutely not. Why would you need that?

41:00And she told me about her ex-boyfriend that was basically living a double life. He had a bunch of criminal charges in his past that he had never told her about and eventually exposed her to some sketchy and dangerous behavior before she broke things off after he cheated. All right. So you think I'm that guy? Pairing apples to oranges here. I think you're letting your trauma talk, babe. I said, okay. Thank you for telling me that, but what does that have to do with my social security number? She said ever since then she's had her friend that works for the federal government run background checks on people to make sure they're safe. And because our relationship is progressing she needs to know I'm a safe partner for her. So she wants my social security number to check my criminal history. Now for the record, I don't even have a parking ticket. I'm a nerd and a gym rat. All I do is work, go to school, play Dungeons and Dragons, come home, watch anime, rinse and repeat. Dude, at least you're rinsing. That's great. Yeah. So I don't care about a background check. She won't find anything. But I'm not giving out my social security number.

42:01You could do something really funny. Just give her random digits. Just be like, okay, but I'm older than I look. My social security number is zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. I'm the first. I am number one. I don't feel comfortable enough providing that to her friend. By the way, this comes from a large sorbet. If you want to submit your own stories, go to the R-slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Dakota. I'm Keon. We're going to read this your story. We're going to have a little bit of advice. But we don't know the answer to everything. Although I think the answer to this is don't give away your social security number to your girlfriend's random friend. You don't know. But if you guys have your own thoughts and opinions, go ahead and put them in the comments. And we love you. Yeah, I like how this was a year into the relationship and she went, now that we're a year in, I'm going to reveal some trauma of mine. And I'm going to need those digits. I can't you just like flip it around on her and be like, wouldn't this be something someone would say to scam me out of my identity and then ghost and

43:05leave me forever? Who's to say that you wouldn't do that to me? And then she'll respond with you don't love me enough. Well, and then a, a contraire was same to you. This is a, this is a rough spot. Opie says, when I said that, she got upset and said, I don't understand what women go through. And it's about safety. And I admit it, she's right. I have no idea what women go through. But that doesn't mean I'm giving my social security number out to a complete stranger. She says he isn't a stranger. He's one of her best friends and married to a close friend of hers. I said, honey, that's great. But I don't know him. I don't trust him because I don't know him. That's my information you're asking for. You can trust him with your personal information if you want. But no one I don't know is getting my social security number or critical details. That is not happening. And she said that our relationship isn't going to be able to progress unless I give him my social security number because she needs to know that she's safe and she's offended that I don't trust

44:10her taste in friends. This is insane. I'm more offended that I don't trust your taste in me. Like, you don't trust your taste in me. I get it that it's from that guy before, but this is absurd. I'm not giving her numbers. I'm making her five words. Also, you can do a background check on people without needing their social security number. Yeah. So what are we talking about? Again, I'm giving her five words. I'm breaking up with you. If you're giving me the ultimatum a year into our relationship where you don't know who I am and you're afraid of, I don't know, who I am, I feel like this being a front in a relationship. Cool. Get it. You got some trauma. I understand. A year in and then you're dropping this nuke on me. And you're giving me an ultimatum of how this relationship is going to progress because I won't give you my social security number. Weird. I got up and left at that point and told her I respect her concerns. But her past trauma doesn't give her the right to try and strong army into giving out sensitive

45:13information to someone I don't know just because he works for the federal government and has access to a database. You know what? Get your D20 role for initiative. I used to work for the federal government myself. So I can say from experience everyone working there isn't some wonderful person. I'm not assuming he's a monster or anything but just working for the feds doesn't prove anything to me. She called me insensitive and hasn't spoken to me since. Breaking up. Easy, easy, just break up ever. That's really unfortunate. Personally, I feel like she was gaslighting me into giving her what she wants but I'm not sure. And there is an update. I think my honest reaction to this would be like, I'm sorry and you know, I love you. But given that this is where you're at, like I just don't think this can continue. You're not you're not ready for that. Like, given yeah, even with like do a background check somewhere else but it's like if you've been with me for a year and you know that was a trial period was a year into the relationship and then you had I really want to know who OP is.

46:17Yeah, and it's like I would just feel so weird. I'm like, have you not trusted me the whole time or did we just get serious enough for you to not trust me at all? Like what like it would throw everything into question. It's just very, very weird. I would be like, hey, wish you the best. Love you. I don't know anyone who would be okay with this. Update, after reading the comments, I've been getting over the last few days. I decided to call her on New Year's Eve and give things one last chance because I'm the type of person that needs to know I did everything I could before I walk away from a relationship. And some people said she has valid concerns. She just went about them the wrong way which made sense. And I agree. Her concerns are valid which she went through is insane. But like if this is what you need, you're not, I don't, I just don't think you're ready. You need, you need to heal. I told her I understand and respect your need to ensure your safety, but I'm not willing to potentially compromise my safety to make you feel safe by handing over

47:17my social security number to someone I don't know and don't trust. And it's illegal for him to even use a federal database for personal reasons. So that's out. But what I will do is pay for a background check up. You're choosing so long as it's a legitimate service and give you the results. I will not be providing my social security number to anyone, but my address, my date of birth, all of that is fair game. She refused. That's insane. And said that she has chosen a background check and that's having her friend do it because she knows that she can trust him. So I said, that's how you feel and you won't budge. Then the issue here is trust and I'm not willing to stay in a relationship with a woman that doesn't trust me because of something that doesn't have anything to do with me. I'm not paying for another man's sins and I'm not giving you my social security number because your ex was a criminal. She started crying and asking why I can't understand that it's not about me. It's about her.

48:19I hold her and I say no. It's okay if that's what you think. It's done. I'll rip off the bandaid for you. I'm breaking up with you. But how do we know that your boy at the federal government is not living a double life? How do we know that your friends are not living? It's like once that's where your head's at, it's like you can do that for anyone. Also, this is one of your most trusted friends that you genuinely think is your BFF. How come I've never met him within this year? Yeah. Well, they might not live in the same place. But great. Why have I never heard of this person? And I said you made it about me when you asked for my social. She got pissed and started accusing me of lying about caring about her safety and saying if I really cared then I'd have no problem doing this because I don't understand how vulnerable women are in society. You already offered to do any background check she wanted. I hope she doesn't have this mindset of like if nobody gives me their social security number, they just don't understand. I said I was willing to work with you up to a reasonable point.

49:20But now you're just trying to manipulate me and I don't feel safe being with you anymore. Because if this is how you react when you don't get your way about having my social security number, what happens the next time we have a major disagreement or a serious situation comes up? Are you going to keep crying to try to get your way or throw out another ultimatum to try to force me into doing what you want? She started saying that as a man, I can't understand what it's like to go through life as a woman and have to be afraid and that this is what she has to do for her safety and security and I need to just respect that and give her what she needs for her comfort. I told her I tried to compromise. You wouldn't accept it so there's nothing more to say here. And to be clear, I wasn't exactly calm. I have severe anxiety so this was a really really hard conversation for me to have. I was actively pacing around my house and sweating and forcing words out the entire time. Then she started crying and asking about new years because we were supposed to spend it with her parents. I said, you should have thought about that before you tried to strong army into

50:22getting your way. This isn't a and everyone stood up in a plotted moment. That's just how things went. I hung up and now we're over. Honestly, this guy did everything that he could possibly do within reason. A plus, you tried your best, OP. You really tried. Like, I know a lot of people who wouldn't even go to those lengths to try and do a compromise. They would just immediately break up. But you tried. She didn't see that. Your guys are just on not on the same level. And, unfortunately, it came to a breakup or fortunately, it came to a breakup. She needs to realize that what she was doing was not right. Yeah, it came from a place of, you know, her own reality, but like, she needs help getting over it. It's like a neurosis. Genuinely, I'd be like, hey, please get therapy. Also, in your future endeavors with relationships, you should probably let them know within a reasonable time, not within a year. Obviously, I'm hurt, but I'm realizing I dodged a bullet because there is no

51:25reason that this should have gotten this effing messy. And before anyone tries to jump me in the comments, again, I offered to pay for the check. She refused because it wasn't the test she wanted. I feel like I made a good faith effort to resolve things. Hate to ring in the new year without a kiss under the mistletoe. That's not how that works. But it is what it is. I don't know if she really is that concerned. I'm some lunatic criminal or if she's trying to scam me like a lot of you said, either way, it's over now. And that is the end of that story. Yeah, that last thing is exactly what I said earlier where it's like, just flipping around on her. You say, how do I know you're not just going to disappear after I give you this? You're going to trust me. OP, I think you're to be fine. I know it sucks that you started off your new year. Pretty, pretty sad and brokenhearted, but I think you'll be, you'll be a okay. Get on you. I'm getting on you for voicing like logical reasons and trying to compromise. Not just like, this is absurd. This is insane. It like you

52:27made very logical points of like, you do understand like this. What are we doing? With the context, it makes perfect sense. But it's just like the vehicle that you want to use to get it done is I'm not I'm not down. Yeah, that's the end of that story. Don't give your social security number out to just anyone out there. Um, and we get another story coming right up. My boyfriend and my brother's girlfriend kept sneaking off at night, so we threw them both out. That is the most sensible thing you could have done. My brother, Darren, 26 male and I, 20 female, think that our partners are cheating on us with each other. I've been dating my boyfriend Cole, 21 male for a year now and my brother recently started dating Sage, 20 something female about a month ago. We still live with our mom as I still go to school and my older brother helps with bills and our younger brother. We just feel it's better this way, especially after everything we've been through recently as a family, but that's a whole different story. Cole moved in with us at the end of November or beginning of December last year. It started just as him staying over on weekends.

53:27Then his stays just got progressively longer and he eventually just started staying over every night. He's currently also in school, but online and he helps around the house with cooking, cleaning and that kind of stuff. He's very good with my younger brother and they have a brotherly bond as well. Sage has been staying over for the past like three or four weeks shortly after my brother and her started dating. She took some time off work to come stay over for a few weeks. I wasn't given the exact amount of time. She lives more than three hours away. She is a nice girl, super easy to talk and joke around with. My boyfriend and I were honestly a little startled by how outgoing she is since we are a little more shy and we are a little bit more introverted. She's already met our extended family as well and she fits right in with us and everyone adores her. By the way, this comes from a user throwaway upset GF1 and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the art slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Keon. I'm Dakota. And we're both wearing really cool shirts. Yeah! If you can't see him, one's a super smash grows melee one in Japanese and the other one stood you to kaisen. Yeah!

54:29And that's all we know. We don't know everything. We only know what we do so let us know what you do in the comments down below. Pretty please. As OP says, now on to the main topic. When Sage first came over, we were all told by my mom to come and make her feel welcomed and comfortable so we were out in the living room or kitchen most of the week playing games and having fun when we aren't at school or doing work. Over the first week, we had gotten more comfortable with her including my boyfriend. She and my boyfriend have been the only ones home alone when everyone else was at work or going to school. Not so spacious at all. Why are we letting our partners live with us this this soon? Oh, because it's you know, once in a lifetime. It works. It's fun. We're all one we're 20. We're all one big happy family, right? Yeah, I think your boyfriend just got really confused about making her feel at home. Are you guys getting parasited right now? Parasite the movie. Go watch it if you haven't very good movie after this episode. One night when I woke up in the middle of the night,

55:31Cole wasn't in bed and didn't come back for a while. I didn't think anything of it and went back to bed after a while and the next day the four of us were in the living room together. Darren, Anne Sage, and Cole and I. We were all talking and joking around and I brought up the fact that he was gone for a while and where he went last night. He claimed he just went to the bathroom but then Darren also asked Sage the same thing. Are you guys having a weird dream? Is this yeah, is this just a shared unconscious experience? They were both gone for long periods of time that night. Sage looked at Darren and laughed and apologized and said she got a call from her friend and went outside to talk to her in the car. Convenient, I think not. She then said to Darren, I'll let you know next time if she calls again. We moved on after that. The next thing that happened that made us truly question things was this morning when I was dropping my younger brother off to school. He said that if Cole and I could keep it down when we're doing it because he couldn't really sleep last night. Yo, what? Hey, yo. He went on all about how he

56:34didn't need to hear his older sister getting some and wish we didn't share a wall. Now, this would have been a valid concern if it was me, but it wasn't. I wanted my cousin's house to hang out for the evening and didn't come home until 2 a.m. Cole and I didn't do anything. He was already sleeping by the time I came back. Also, Cole and I are always, always mindful about the fact that my younger brother's room is on the other side of the wall. So, who was my boyfriend screwing in my own bed when I wasn't there? Well, after he voices disgust, I just said, okay, yeah, sorry about that. It won't happen again and I dropped him off at school. I immediately texted Darren, my brother and asked him if stage left any time during the night and he said, at about midnight, she went to go talk with her friend again. I'm no mathematician here, but the math is mathing. The friend is your boyfriend and she talks with her body.

57:35Loudly. I told Darren about what our little brother told me and Darren said, we'd talk about it after work or school. So, we went about the day today and when we came home, I went to Darren's car and we talked for a long time. Darren told me that stage had been talking to her friend almost every night. We compared every little thing that we might have brushed off as nothing, but then it all clicked. Or so we think. These are the two bigger incidents that happened, but there are more. We need advice or an outside perspective on these incidents and what we should do. Does this sound like cheating? Or are we just overthinking idiots with trust issues? LOL. Come, I know, I understand you wrote that because that's what you want it to be against all hope, but you know that that's that they're cheating. OP, you're giving me door the explorer right now. Are they cheating? They are cheating. It was it was over the moment your brother said that. Yeah, shout out to your brother for actually voicing his opinion because if he

58:37didn't, yeah, this wouldn't the cat wouldn't been out of the bag. Brave man. Cole has never given me any reason to suspect he would cheat. He's super against it actually and has no girls on his phone or anything. Yeah, because it's already in your bed in your house. He doesn't need any girls on his phone. It's already happening. He's an introvert. Only has a few friends and even they keep joking about how Cole pulled off even getting a girl like me to talk to him from how quiet an awkward he is. Sage, on the other hand, just doesn't seem like the type to do that sort of thing. Advice? I can include other incidents that make us think that this is what's happening if anyone needs more info on it and we have some comments here. You know, I'm not completely sold yet. I think I need more. Do you need do you need video proof? Do you need evidence? What do you need? The evidence screaming at me is not enough. Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't know. There were two suspicions here. Either these guys are like ghost hunters and they're going in the night and like they're battling demons.

59:39Cool. Or the other one is their cheating. I think it's pretty hard cement that they are cheated. Something was pretty hard. That's for sure. How was I to know? Says are either of you able to access their phones to check for messages between the two? Opie responds with, I know the password to my boyfriend's phone but I always thought that was an invasion of privacy and I always trusted him not to check it. Should I check it? No Cheerios 3813 says they have most definitely effed. What else have they done? Opie responds with, my little brother came home from school during a half day and texted me that they were on the couch watching a movie but when he was coming up the stairs to living room he said it seemed like they were in the middle of moving away from each other. Like putting space between them. Another time is my older brother found them in the kitchen and they were whispering. I don't know about what but it's like they don't know each other enough to be whispering already and being hush hush over things you know. I don't know. Yeah, you do you do know and it's sad. I'm sorry. Spider-Aby head says, I'm really confused why Sage literally

1:00:44took off work just to live in your family's house after dating your brother for a month. Opie responds with, yeah I don't know either and we have an update after six days any other things you want to add before we get into this update. Yeah sometimes you don't want to believe the truth but you know it. Denial is a river in Egypt. Denial is a river throwing right through OP. Update, hi so yeah they were definitely sleeping together. Thanks Dora. But first I just want to say a quick thank you to everyone who replied to my last post. Darren and I read through them all and laughed at a few. Some of y'all are crazy. Darren told me to say that to those through two or three people who said to sleep together. He says sorry but we aren't from Alabama. Of course he makes an Alabama joke. LMAO. Anyways so like I said the two dang cheaters were sleeping together in our family house. The night after I posted we thought about putting cameras up as the top comment suggested. But then we decided for me just to go through Cole's phone. So I did.

1:01:45They've been texting since we first met her. So basically the day she got here. It looked like it was like a normal conversation at first. Then the messages would be like he, she, my brother or me, are gone to sleep. Come to the room, meet in the bathroom or that was fun winky face. Just flirty texts like that. So that pretty much confirmed it. But then as if that wasn't enough. I saw stage ask Cole can you send that video? I want to see it. And he sent the video of them doing it. Nice. Yeah, no, that's nice. Sure. Great. Well I watched the video because I'm an idiot. Who likes to hurt their own feelings? And it was bad. Was it bad good or good bad? She's bad. Bad, bad, bad. She was calling him kinky names. It kept saying am I better than O.P. Daddy. Oh, or something along those lines in my bed. To be honest, it was pretty funny watching it because he wouldn't answer her when she would ask which I assume why she kept saying it.

1:02:47It hurts seeing my boyfriend of a year going at it with another girl, of course. But what can I do about something that's already happened many times? So I sent the video to myself and didn't bother deleting the evidence and sent it to my brother. I would have waited. I would have been like, there is video proof. Do you want to see it? Yeah, let's not be sending that around. That same night we confronted them and they both denied it at first. Then I showed them the video I had sent to myself. Then that's when they both started crying and apologizing. I've never had to deal with a cheater in real life let alone two. But man, is it pathetic when they got caught? I literally had to hold back a laugh when Cole started crying because why are you the one crying when I'm the victim? I don't know. Darren told Sage she's out of the house and he didn't care what she went. She tried to say that she had nowhere to go and brought up that she lived three hours away and that he picked her up so she had no car either. Darren said he didn't care and needed her out within the hour. That's nice of him to give her an hour. That it was one thing to go behind his back but hurting me was a big no-no. Love protective older brothers. So he pundered her out

1:03:54and I told Cole he had to leave back home too. About 20 minute drive from our house. He tried to ask if we could talk about it that we shouldn't let this ruin our year relationship using all the cheater excuses there is and I just told him I was done with him. So they both left. I love how he tried to say we shouldn't let this ruin our relationship like it wasn't entirely him. That sucks. That sucks for you but you know what you know the real MVP is here? Your little brother. Your little broski. Your little brother like it was like yeah they're weird but also keep it down. So it takes a lot of gumption to approach your older sister and be like stop banging so loud that's very uncomfortable. Sorry OP but at least they're both out of your lives hopefully and next time I don't know next time yeah next time when your brother says something like that to you take that as concrete immediate evidence don't question it but there's a little bit left here let's go and finish up the story.

1:04:58Did they meet up after? Probably do I care? No. He didn't have a job or a car. Why were you dating him? And he even stated he doesn't really want a job either. Why were you dating him? He lives off his daddy's money embarrassing for me that I was with him for so long. So if they wanted to even try to make that work she'd have to deal with that. Not my problem anymore. After they left that's when I cried and I let it out and Darren comforted me even cried a bit himself. Cole has tried DMing me on Instagram but I just leave him on scene. Sage is even DM me too apologizing and asking if I could tell Darren to call her. So that's what happened. They're insane. They're perfect for each other. Truly thanks for it for your kind words and advice we both appreciate it a lot and Darren definitely learned his lesson on moving too fast in relationships. LOL and that's the end of that story. I think the strength in your your sibling bond with your brother with your brothers and yeah I think that's a good idea to just take things slow in the future. It's a horrible thing to

1:06:03have happened but it's nothing but silver lining. How stupid can they be? They didn't like the stupid way. It's just well with you you're already got to be pretty stupid to be unemployed living off your parents and saying I don't want a job. That's pretty dumb. Yeah well that's the end of that story and we got another one coming right up. Hey it's Dakota your favorite goofball host here and we're gonna get back to the stories but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. Hey everyone it's the Jonas Brothers with the Hey Jonas podcast. We've been catching up with some great friends Paul Rod Michael Blay Seth Meyers, Nile Horan, Jake Shane and making some new friends while getting into what's really like to have sisters like Alex and Alex Ginerle. She likes to control everyone and tell everyone to do it. Okay well control is a hard word. I would say that's a hard word. I am more outspoken. Growing up a lot of the times because she was so quiet I would speak for like the both of us. Now I'm working on like thinking a mom is really needed and taking before I speak. And Joey King. You know if your like mom is yelling at your sibling and even if you're annoyed

1:07:07with your sibling you just like won't let that slide. It's like you only can yell at your sibling. I'm like you can't do that here. That is not what I'm talking about. Like that's what I just like about it. Plus we've been taking your calls listening to your voice mails and giving advice or at least trying to. So if you've got catching up to do now is the perfect time. Listen to Hey Jonas on the iHeartReadyWap Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi this is Kylie Breakman, Angel Jaretana, Jeremy Colhane, Patrick McDonald, and we're the hosts of the artists on artists on artists on artists podcast. The improvised character comedy podcast were each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. Join us for a panel of wellness influencers. What I try to do is foe journal. I don't know if you guys heard of foe journaling. Yeah it's reading it's called reading. Yeah so you're so we don't like to use that word anymore. Okay a panel of New Yorker cartoonists. Have you guys done Terry Gross's Peloton class? No! I've been dying too. I'm so sorry I'm seeing a reading of Sudako in the Thousand Paper Cranes by Audrement Donald at

1:08:11the Wonderland bookstore. That's crazy. I went to the Wonderland bookstore yesterday and I heard Nora Jones do a reading of Zero Doctor 30. No way. We have to come to the last bookstore though. Kim Ketrol is reading the guitar tabs of yesterday. A panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween sometimes. Does the pope dress up? He winks on Halloween. It's right up next to the microphone. I hear you get the elbows here. The eyelashes hate each other. You never seen Italy so quiet as when the pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Listen to artists on artists on artists on artists on the iHeard Radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Buy Asia Ravine or so at least 70% have a phone. Middle school is a different world than the one we grew up in. I'm Dr. Joy and this is therapy for black girls. We spend real time on it in our surviving middle school run. Bringing in a child psychologist and a psychiatrist who's raising two black girls of his own to talk about what's really going on with our kids right now. So it's literally physiological and neurological and

1:09:15psychological chaos happening all this. We got into group chats and gaming, friendships and bullying and how to tell the difference between healthy monitoring and the kind of surveillance that erodes trust. You can think of belonging as I can be myself and I can still be accepted and then they're fitting it. fitting it and says I have to change who I am in order to avoid rejection. Then we turn the conversation toward the fathers sitting down with therapists caregames on black fatherhood and what it means to raise a daughter through this stage. You don't have more shorts so you can't do flips you have on the dress you have across your legs. That's the range of this run from screen time to identity to the fathers doing the work at home. How to get off her device. But the reality is there's a lot of life out there that we don't want you as your adults in the life to miss out on. This has been our surviving middle school run. Brought to you by the people who spend their careers thinking about exactly this. I'm Dr. Joy. Listen to therapy for black girls on the iHot Radio app Apple podcast or wherever you get your

1:10:17podcast. My girlfriend invited her friends on our anniversary trip where I plan to propose privately. Are they part of the proposal? I don't think so. My girlfriend Sarah 29 and I male 28 have been dating for five years and I wanted to go on a vacation with her to celebrate. I planned the trip for several months of course I shared my plans with her and decided on skiing, snowboarding and other winter activities in Colorado. The activities seemed perfect and I was looking forward to this for months because I wanted to propose to her at the end of the trip. And by the way this comes from user grad tattoo 90009. If you want to submit your own stories go to the r-slash okay story time subreddit I'm Dakota. I'm Keon and we are here to read this story and give the goodest little goofy as device we can but we are two little goofballs we don't have the answers to everything so let us know what you would do in the comments. You know what I'd do? I'd be like no babe this is just for us this is just for us. Yeah how did that not work?

1:11:20I mean that romantic. Let's find out. This is our vacation. Oh he says five days before the trip Sarah dropped the ball on me that she invited two of her friends to meet her there. I was upset because I wanted to spend one on one time with Sarah for our anniversary. Is that a red flag? I don't know that your partner what was the five days before your trip that you guys have been talking about for a minute says hey last minute switch that I didn't ask about I didn't ask you. My friends are coming because I invited them. Yeah it is a little red flaggy. I feel like it was plain and clear that this was supposed to be just a trip for us even though I expressed my concerns Sarah insisted that her friends already made plans to come and won't back out. I decided to accept this because there was no way for me to force her friends to not come but I wish I had fought more on this. I figured we could make some changes to our plans and I would still be able to propose to

1:12:21her privately. Sarah essentially blew me off for her friends and we didn't get any private time. Dang I would have okay that option wanted in work of like hey let's get this together like it's just us like it should be just for us then I would have immediately messaged the friends like hey all right if you guys got your tickets you guys are coming guess what it's a big trip for us you guys want to be a part of it yeah I don't know if I would trust them not to tell her though yeah it would be a that's a rough calculation to have to try to make it's a rough calculation but they got it's better than nothing it is better than nothing. Sarah essentially blew me off for her friends and we didn't get any private time after three days of being in second place I decided to leave the trip and head home. I told Sarah why I was leaving and she was upset. She told her friends about my decision and I was ganged up on they said we were all having a great time. She thinks that

1:13:21I'm in the wrong for making her pick between her friends and me even though her friends weren't invited in the first place. I never had personal issues with her friends prior to this trip. I never made Sarah pick between me or her friends because everyone needs friends outside of a relationship. I'm at home now in thinking about everything. I have a day to myself before Sarah comes home so at least I get to relax a bit. Sarah and her friends think I'm overreacting and think I ruined that trip. I think Sarah was disrespectful and rude to me by ruining the purpose of this trip and having her friends gang up on me. So am I the A-hole for leaving the vacation I planned for my girlfriend after her friends came along. There's a quick edit this was a planned anniversary romantic trip. I was clear that we have plans for just us to we've been on other anniversary trips together without her friends there. We did discuss marriage beforehand so it's not like a proposal wouldn't be out of the blue and there's a little update but honestly like yeah if you were making it clear

1:14:27that whole time and then she just sprung this on you I don't like that at all. I would be pretty ding upset and then you are getting zero time with your partner that this was again originally planned to be with I'd be really bummed and really but hurt and and now you're being called the bad guy because you know she sprung upon you last minute and she thinks you're a bad guy because you guys aren't even hanging out. I don't know man. That's a little absurd. I think anyone would get upset like if she was doing 50-50 like oh yeah like to like the girls are doing stuff but then like she promised we'll do this and we have plans and they think the friends will like go do their own thing. I think that's fine. It does suck and maybe it postpones your planning on proposing but I think the way she went about this very rude and very selfish. Very rude very wrong 100% There's a minor update. My friends are here at the house and they've been running potential

1:15:31interference just in case her friends tried to bombard and bother me. Got your lineman. Nice. They've been great and I am so glad to have them. Second minor update. None of Sarah's friends came by the house or bothered me yesterday or last night which is good. Sarah hasn't come home yet. Figured out what I want to say and have it written out and there's an update. Are you going to tell her that you were going to propose? No. Well that's going to ruin the surprise. That would sting a little huh. Do we think this is break up worthy? It feels like that's where he's at. He might be because I think he was very excited and was very adamant of this is for us. This is for our anniversary. I remember our anniversary just only dealt with I don't know you and me not with your friends. Well there is an update. I decided that I wanted to end this entire relationship. Give me my money

1:16:33and there it is. Oh he's going to tell her he was going to propose. Oh you dirty dog. Wow you're just opening Pandora's box. I packed my important belongings like my passport and clothes and arranged with my best friend to crash at his apartment until I can find my own. Usually when small issues happen in a relationship it ties into a bigger issue of that relationship. The main reason why I decided to break up is because I realized that her friends will always be closer to her than me. Sarah has favored her friends over me and blown off some of our plans for her friends more than once. Dang okay I was going to say this might be a little bit extreme to like really break up and not have a conversation about. Yeah but this is not the first time something like this has happened. And it surely won't be the last. Which was my suspicion. I was lying to myself for years because I didn't want to face reality yet. I had hoped she would change but this trip really opened my eyes that I will always be in third place to her. I expressed my feelings

1:17:34multiple times and Sarah promised she would change and she didn't. Sarah came home late yesterday. I said I have a lot to get off my chest and I want to get through my notes before she talks or tries to interrupt me. The first question I asked Sarah was how she thought the trip went. She said we all had fun and it was memorable. We? We? She's mmm. Dumb not me. You and your friends had fun. I shouldn't have to feel like the third wheel in my own relationship especially on a trip that I planned. My next question was why did you invite your friends in the first place? You knew this was an anniversary trip for us. She talked about the trip with her friends since the beginning and they have never been to Colorado. She thought it would be a good idea to allow them to come just so they can have fun in Colorado with us. So why did you spring that up five days before the trip? Right. Opie continues I followed up with my lack of knowledge of her friends coming along until days before. It's one thing if they came in did their own activities but it's another thing that every

1:18:39thing that we did became a group activity. I signed up from a nogamist relationship not Polly. Yeah you know he's not listening. You're soon to be asked. Yeah. Sarah is not scoring very high on the listening category. Not at all. It's always about her friends and not about what you want or what you need and that's not fair. Yeah and again it's like oh well I just was talking to my friends and I thought they'd like to go to Colorado. Yeah great. Why didn't you talk to me at all about this? Why didn't I get a decision in this? Yeah the trip that you knew I planned for us. My last question was did you know that I was going to propose to you? Oh here we go. She's gonna be like oh my you were? I wouldn't have invited them. Sarah said she didn't know at all. The thought never occurred to Sarah that I was going to ask. She claimed that she wouldn't have invited her friends to come along if she knew. Called it. But I responded that it would ruin the surprise if I told you. Sarah begged me to stay with her and believes we can

1:19:44work everything out. She didn't want me to throw five years away after this one bad trip. Me? Me? Who decided to invite their friends on this? On the five-year anniversary trip, it's like a huge deal. Huge deal. Just like it's an anniversary trip for I don't know your relationship. Why are friends even being involved whatsoever? Other than surprising you for said proposal? I listened to her promises to change for years regarding her friends but nothing happened. I ultimately left Sarah with this. It's clear that there isn't enough room in your heart for your boyfriend and your friends. As much as I love Sarah, I can't stay in a relationship where I'm not respected enough. I left Sarah in the house by herself and I drove off to my friends place. I'll figure out how to get my name off the lease and I'll plan to get the rest of my belongings. As for the ring, I will return it this weekend. If it's the same thing that's been happening over and over again. She's not listening. How are you going to be second-fiddle to her friends on your

1:20:50five-year anniversary trip? You wasn't even second-fiddle because there's two friends. I was going to give Sarah the benefit of the doubt. Friends, great, you deserve to have your friends and do deserve to plan things with your friends on your own accord with them, not during your anniversary trip. She's like, oh yeah, it's just, oh whatever, it's just my boyfriend. It's just our five-year out. Yeah, let's have my friends tie along so that'll make it. It's fine. That'll make it more fun. Yeah, he doesn't care. Yeah. Well, that's the end of that relationship and the end of that story. Hi, this is Kylie Breikman, Angel Jaretana. Jeremy Colhane Cash McDonald. And we're the hosts of the artists on artists on artists on artists podcast. The Improvised Character Comedy podcast were each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants. And we do a little Halloween sometimes. Does the Pope dress up? He winks on a logan. It's right up next to the microphone. I hear you get the elbows here, the eyelashes,

1:21:52hit each other. You never seen it least so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Listen to artists on artists on artists on artists every Thursday on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering the ride on his motorcycle. I choose option B. I'm Julie Pinero and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I survived nine months in captivity and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the survivor files. Every week I'm with survivors who live through

1:22:56the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the survivor files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.