Parenting a Spicy Child? How to Use Movement to Find Calm and Connection

What does it mean to raise — or be — a “spicy one”? In this deeply honest and energizing conversation, Katy Bowman and author Mary Van Geffen unpack what it’s like to parent strong-willed, big-feeling kids (and stay sane while doing it). They discuss how movement can support self-regulation and co-regulation, helping both parent and child navigate intensity with compassion and humor. Together, they look at the role of movement before, during, and after heated moments — as well as the art of knowing when to walk away. This episode offers practical wisdom for growing your “calm muscle” and showing up as the safest person in the room.

Jeannette chats with inventor, designer, and athlete Tyler Benner of Venn Design — the creative mind behind movement-friendly furniture like the Air Chair and the revolutionary barefoot cycling shoe. They explore Tyler’s “genius energy” and how movement awareness informs everything he creates, from furniture to archery tools and innovative footwear.

Enhanced Show Notes and Full Transcript

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

0:00 – Meet Mary Van Geffen – Parenting insights for “Spicy Ones”

0:05 – What is a “Spicy One”? – Understanding strong-willed, big-feeling kids

0:07 – Regulation & Co-Regulation – How parents and kids navigate intensity together

0:10 – Contagious Emotions & Training your ‘Calm’ Muscle– Mirror neurons in action

0:14 – Quick Regulation Tools – Breathing, sensing, and self-talk

0:19 – Move to Regulate – Using movement before, during, and after heated moments

0:37 – Massage & Connection – Diffusing tension with touch

0:52 – Mary’s Resources – Books, classes, and meditations

0:53 – Meet Tyler Benner & Venn Design – Movement-friendly furniture and innovative tools

0:54 – Dynamic Furniture – Air Chairs and floor cushions that encourage motion

0:57 – Genius Energy & Archery – Aligning bones for power and precision

1:04 – Tyler’s Shot Trainer – Archery form and physics made simple

1:07 – Barefoot Cycling Shoes – The first foot-shaped cycling shoes designed for comfort and performance

BOOKS & RESEARCH MENTIONED

Parenting A Spicy One: A comprehensive Guide for Raising a Deep-Feeling and Wonderfully Strong-Willed Kid by Mary Van Geffen
Move Your DNA by Katy Bowman
"Movement Hunger" Signals by Katy Bowman

CONNECT, MOVE & LEARN

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About Mary Van Geffen

OUR SPONSOR

Venn Design makes gorgeous, movement-friendly furniture that turns your home into a space that inspires you to move. Strong Feet Athletics’ barefoot cycling shoes give your feet freedom, comfort, and power—say goodbye to cramped toes!

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