Self Care Saturday: 6/7 Future You Needs Care Today- Interview with Darcel Dillard-Suite

Welcome. Welcome, everyone. Welcome back. Welcome back to the sweet spot. It's self-care

Saturday here on the sweet spot. I'm Dr. Derek Sweet. As you know, my board certified

psychiatrist, I work with elite athletes and high performers, but more than that. I'm your

fellow traveler. As you know, I've said this to you a thousand times. I'm your fellow traveler

on this journey. We call it like this week, sweet spotters, beautiful souls. We have had

the privilege of sharing the entire week on the sweet spot. Just learning and chopping it up

with Darcell Dillard Sweet. Yes, you heard that correctly. Darcell Dillard Sweet is indeed my wife,

the queen who has been nothing short of wonderful here this week. Darcell, welcome to self-care

Saturday on the sweet spot. Oh, thank you for having me. It's been a wonderful week so far,

so I can't wait to dive into the Saturday's weakness. Absolutely. So, self-care is an important

topic we made Saturday about self-care because we run around all week. We run around just doing

so many things that we really have the moment to even take a deep breath. Often on the sweet spot,

I'll say something like, let's take a deep breath together. And I think for some people,

I see you taking one right now, I think for some of us, it's the only time that we take a deep

breath. And sometimes that's me. I have to remember that I'm talking to myself here and like,

oh my goodness, this is the only time I'm taking a deep breath. And it just tells you how quickly

we're moving in the world. So, self-care is important. It's about slowing down. It's not just

about the spa. It's not just about the rheumotherapy candles. It's not just about feeling good. It's

about protecting your health, preventing disease. It's about managing stress. It's about protecting

your future. I always like to say this to ourselves. Future you is really hoping and praying

that current you and present you will take a few minutes to care for yourself because future

you is depending on you to self-care. So, I'm going to ask you, what is your self-care routine?

First of all, A, do you have one and B, what would you say your self-care routine is in this context?

That is so beautifully put together by you. And you're right. It's not always about the spa day

or the massages. Those are sort of the soft things that we can do for ourselves. But let's

underscore those are expensive things. In the day that we live in a massage is not $20.

Unless you go to the nail salon, but even they will do a dollar a minute. So, if you really want

a good rub down, it's $30 because it's 30 minutes or it's $50 because you want a 50 minutes. And

then it goes up, right? So, a real good one is going to really kind of get you into a $100 range.

So, monetarily speaking, while that is an option, my routine of self-care is one of action because

remember, those who've gotten to know me this week, I'm a mover. So, my first self-care is movement

in tennis. I've tried to play at least two or three times a week, that euphoria, that adrenaline,

all of that wonderful blood flow. That's a self-care moment. An hour and a half, I can play tennis.

That's my stamina tester every week. And it's a lot of movement. But when I'm done,

I feel like I cared for myself. So, the first thing for me is a movement regimen.

The second thing is a slow down regimen. Now, you know me, not a good sitter.

Can't sit still for too long. When you try to get me to meditate with you and I've tried,

I open up my eyes and say, are we done yet? I know, I know, I know. Because time just passes and

that silence and that stillness is like, oh my god, I'm done yet. So, but I do try to slow down.

I've learned over the years you do need to sit still. So, I've adopted a new habit of trying to sit

a little longer with myself. And then, last, I'm going to say to people, style, fashion,

my routine of getting dressed every day. I plan what I'm going to wear the night before

because it matters to me when I show up for you, show up for my business meetings, show up even

on the tennis court. And I have some cute outfits. Y'all don't even want to know. That style,

that fashion, that signature, that Coco Chanel, that Captain Hepburn Darcyl look, that's self-care.

Interesting. I never, again, use never cease to fascinate me because I honestly would never have bought

to put fashion into the self-care thing. But it makes sense. What you put on and

what you choose to put. And I know you, I know you care about the products you put on your skin.

I'm now even using some of those products. Thank you. I get that you care about the movement.

And I love the fact that you're combining exercise, that you're combining

your fashion choices and that even of finding stillness and even even embracing stillness and

silence and meditation, which is something I'm very big on. We're such opposites that way

because I am definitely a still sit. I can meditate for like three hours and not move. And I know

that would be insanity to you. I don't even ask anymore. If I get 10 minutes with you, I'm

grateful for those 10 minutes. But you've expanded the definition of self. And I think that that's

the most important message today is that self-cares what makes you happy. Something that makes you

happy. I've also noticed that you've been watching these movies and the desert movies and series

that you love and that you've seen. And I love seeing you power down because you're such a

mover and shaker kind of person to see you look at a series or look at the movie even though I

can't always sit with you through an entire movie. It's very hard for me. And what's I like to

sit still? It's really hard for me to sit through some of these series and stuff. We definitely have

different tastes on the movies. I don't try. But an expanded definition of self-care includes what

makes you happy. What gives you a diversion? What brings the temperature down a bit? What helps

your blood pressure lower? What opens up your arteries? What allows you to flow? And that's important.

It's good that you're able to see the breath of it because I've only listed three things. I have

so many. One of them is grocery shopping. You'll say to me, maybe you can order, they can deliver to

the door. You don't have to go out. But the joy I have in walking up and down. And I mean everybody

listen every single aisle. I know the land on the grocery store. I know where the fruits are, the

vegetables are, the buns and the breads. It's a joy. But where does it come from? Shopping with my

mother. So there is a relationship with the shopping experience, which brings me joy, which brings

me happiness, which is a self-care moment. I don't want to go online and click and let a bag show

up. Now I do enough of that on Amazon. They get enough of my money. Yeah, it might be a self-care

thing too. Ordering a lot from Amazon. Oh, that's what you call survival. Or it's too cold out

to actually do it. But again, I even embrace the cold. You know that I love the cold. That's

self-care for me. An incredible cold wind blowing on my face. I just did a wism on Wednesday on the

cold. So it's a variety of things that we all have. They must bring joy in the middle of the piece

is my point. Absolutely, Darcelle. I feel for our listeners and for those who are listening in,

whatever brings you joy today, whatever allows you to take a deep breath. Whatever

makes you happy, never let somebody else define for you what self-care is. The word self is in

there for a reason. It is self-care. And that's super important. For me,

sitting and listening to Deepak Chopra for, I don't know, an hour and a half or maybe sitting in

a dark room with stillness or just hearing the water running. Like one of the things that I

love to hear ocean sounds at night. I love the crashing of waves and torrential rainstorms pouring

in that it just gets my prefrontal cortex to dampen down and it settles my amygdala down and

and those of you who follow the sweet spot, you know those brain structures. But it drives Darcelle

crazy at night for me to be trying to do self-care with the room having the stereo sound rain coming

down. Well, you remember what I tell you about the rain sounds and I know somebody after it's

going to vibe with me. When you hear all that crackling and you think it sounds like rain,

there's one that you listen to that sounds like static on a television. And the other one sounds

like fried chicken. That's why it's frying chicken. So that ocean wave crashing waves is like,

are they frying chicken or what? That does not give me peace, but it works for you. So that's why

we have headphones honey. Yeah, yeah, I have noise canceling headphones and that might be the

move for the figure. And I feel like that, those are the things that matter, right? Like finding

your way knowing that your self-care may be different than somebody else's and for Darcelle,

self-care could be going on. She loves you love the cold weather. You love, I'm from Trinidad,

you're from Ohio, we're from different parts of the world and I love warm weather. I like heat,

you could put me out in the hot, hot, hot sun, I love it. But when these winter storms and these

blizzard, you're ready to go out, you're bundled up like a snow bunny and you're just ready to go

out and I'm like, oh my god, this is not my self-care routine. But what brings you joy is going

out into the cold as much as I like going out into the heat. And finding middle grounds has been

the joy of a marriage and relationship. So everyone, I hope you enjoyed our interaction today

as we're talking through self-care. The messages do what makes you happy. Do what brings you joy.

But the deeper messages find the time to do that, definitely find the time and make the time to

do that because you're a nervous system and future you need that for health, for wellness

and for success. This is Dr. Derek Sweet and this is Darsal Dillard Sweet,

signing off of the sweet spot on self-care sanity. Thank you. Thank you everybody. Bye-bye.