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Wooow!
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the FIRIAN podcast.
It is my distinct pleasure to welcome Broadway superstar stand up comedian actress two
time two time winner of RuPaul's dragways among many other things the list goes on and on
jinks monsoon everybody monsoon season baby let's go having me jinks it is such a pleasure
to have you it's a pleasure to be here even though it's 10 a.m. right now and I'm an
early riser but to leave my house before you know midday this is this is an
archaic typically we film at nighttime sometimes yes yes yes terrible I'm I'm I'm whenever the
coffee I I have to I have to read I have to rewire like when I'm on tour I have to get
myself up all night and then right now I have my cats that don't let me sleep in
anyone else I have two cats and I know you travel to their lunatics about the food in
the morning I do you open feed them at all do I don't feed I've given up I'm gonna
get attacked by cat owners but I just fill the bowl up and let them regulate I'm just so sick
of the vet giving my girls body complex issues wait how fat are your cats oh my cats are
starting to game they're not regulating well I don't see yeah you can't touch cats and they're
smarter than us yeah no I've been I've been talking I always talk about we've got a a domestic
long hair gray one name bumper and he is putting on weight and I do comment on it and I've
come at several times my boyfriend gets pissed at me he's like quit calling him quit body
shaming I get so upset when the vet says I'm hurtles a little a little pear shape I don't
want to say that as a dog owner because like I'll I'll be I have a dog it's actually her
birthday but I was gonna say I have I have one dog she just turned three today so birthday
today happy birthday hi up but also I take care of my brother's dog from time to time as
well and like you just kind of have to like you you have to feed them like I don't understand
you just can't like what it well we're not saying we're gonna starve I'm in like I was choking
I would have put a stand-up comedian I'm in trouble yeah you put the bowl down and you're
like now is your time to eat and then you put another bowl down for the other dog and you're
like now's your time to eat and then you have to remove them yeah otherwise they will eat
all the food the cats don't know my dog is the same ways free range what past your
race see that I've give I I don't know I get one wet food a day say with the cats I get one
wet food but otherwise just dry food that's crazy to me as as an apathy farly gets his like
healthy food which he hates and then he gets like a little sweet nurse help plow through
those but throughout the day he'll hit his bowl and look at me and be like come on asshole let's go
that's crazy my cats want to allow the bowl to be empty my cats they will eat what's there we've
got them regimented right now they get the same amount every day they have to parcel it out they
know how much but when what they will do is there will be three little kibble bits left and they'll
like get it out individually walk up to me and crunch them and then walk back to the bowl and get
one more walk up like oh I'm running out I love that cats are so they've got so much personality
divine being sorry dogs too I think I think the relationship between a human and an animal is one
of the easiest ways everyone can practice witchcraft there's something so magical and indescribable
about the fact that I know which what all of her meows mean you know the different meows and she
can meow from a different room and I know she wants out you know or or she's tattling on her
sister something like that no no James you came from a witchy home I did and I only have leaned in
as an adult like I was raised by witches who didn't really self identify as witches okay when
you look back on the way they raised me I'm like those were witches my mom my grandma they called
her in the living room well it was like they all my my mom and my grandma referred to themselves as
Catholics very loosely Catholic um like I didn't grow up with a lot of just kind of the hits just
the Catholic hits you know everything kill kill kill don't do this um you're a sinner and uh but
then my mom and my grandma and my aunt were so superstitious and then when I was a teenager my mom
would warn me not to play Dungeons and Dragons because I was gonna fall in with the wrong crowd yeah
then we'd stop at the cemetery so she could get brave dust scrapings wow happy grave so that she
could win the lottery I think was the goal and you need grave dust if you want to win the power
ball there were all kinds of other things no we know in no arteries I think if you get you don't
get what you ask for you get what you need and that's very frustrating to a lot of people yeah
they come into witchcraft and they're like I just have to say what I want and then I get it and
it's like no you say what you want you work really hard and then nature gives you
what you actually need and then you go thank you so it's up to nature to decide what you get
well nature's kind of really in control of everything I mean we're all just dancing around
until she kills us yeah we've been fucking around for a while and now we're in the find out
oh yeah no yeah for sure what about dark magic were there any like enemies my mom was very very
anti dark magic and she normally was doing things to unperse herself because she was convinced
there were no how I feel what are some uncurses well like the white candles okay salt bath oh
you burn a white candle with a needle in the wick wait I do that anyway I guess that's what I
guess that's not working hard and candle burn better but it's also a witchcraft no not the not
the like the the I do so I do so bad I go yeah other fuckers soaking his feet they can
do no no I do a so bad I burn my candles I burn my candles why do you put it you have to put
a needle through it no you don't oh okay everything here's the thing is like is that why the
hexes haven't been working which crafts all about so you already do the things like knocking on
wood yes yes I do knock on the house so that starts as that starts as a like full
mythy thing yeah but it also has some kind of practical application which I was told when you're
like start aesthetically charged and you keep shocking people you knock on wood to get the
currency out or something so it's like something that when they couldn't understand why you were
shocking people it's like demons yes and then and now we still do it but we don't remember the
demons yeah because I do knock on wood quite a bit that was like one of the things I have to
oh I have to carry a piece of wood in my purse oh that is brilliant emergency wood my my friend
assistant that's brilliant he he he got frustrated with me like having to get out of the car
and run a knock on a tree because how many times did you stop a car to knock on a tree
that might have happened what when does it become OCD that's the thing is you know I am a pragmatic
person I like to know the logical reasons behind everything like you know where knock on wood came
from yeah and then I make the more fun choice okay so it's like yeah I know I I already know
about a lot of my own mental uh picadillos yeah the fun funnest parts of me um but I just kind of
choose to I acknowledge the logical aspect I take the meds and then I then I lean into this is coming
from someone with OCD everything I'm like that has a meaning that has a new which I could just be
full spectrum coverage you got to cover all your bases you get medicated and you get what my
therapist says yeah just like covering a covering every angle this is a genuine question because I've
I've faced this too because I heard I have very similar up until now it was all this ingenious
question no no super superstitious when you're when knocking on wood I've always been caught up like
is that real wood yes oh my god I do that too I do that too I'm like is that real wood does
even work is it my family and you know fight over it and then we would knock on paper as a fail
save but then there's my aunt who says it has to be three and then if you go past three then you
have to go to the next multiple of three okay and she would freak out if you would just knock two
times or not four times and then sometimes other people in the family other people fix a camera
other people in the family that's crazy sorry you said keep going and I thought it was for me
three now no no it is for you it was for you to keep going no you're good you're good you're good
yeah anyway it was it was points of contention in my family it was a nice bagel for yourself
I'm so sorry James I was I was overwhelmed that told me to order a bunch of coffee and I just
started ordering it will and I just ordered a bagel I ordered a video you got enough to share
with the class I panicked I don't know somebody take something he got you this you got your drink
already but but whatever you want in jinx I even have a bagel if you want to share one with me
I'll see what happens but it's available to you we'll leave it here I got one I got a
superstition thing oh this is a this is a Turkish I mean we believe in like jins and stuff for
everything I've heard from Turkish superstition from you has been kind of awesome and very bizarre
yeah so one of the one of the things that we do in my household like well there's two things one
bread is like holy my dad was like if a bread falls in the ground like you have to pick it up you
have to like you have to respect it you have to eat it oh wait what like yeah you can't just like
like you can't just drop you have to eat ground bread yeah or or you just have to like treat it
with respect after I don't know but that's number one I don't really care that's why I do five
second rule it doesn't bother me at all I'm just I'm slamming things off the ground it doesn't matter
sure the other one that I think is really unique that I don't know why other people don't encounter
or or incorporate into their regimen is knives and scissors and sharp objects when we when in
Turkey or at least in my household handle for when you when you hand no no that's that's a classic
yeah when you hand a sharp object to another person normally some people will will offer will
you know hold the sharp part and and give the handle to the other person in order not to like
accidentally stab them that makes sense in Turkey we don't actually exchange sharp objects directly
hand to hand we actually put it on the ground like or put it on a table and then you spit on it
wait are you being on and I'm not even joking I'm not even joking we well the bread thing is
totally but like if this was if this was a knife and I wanted to hand it to you I would you
you're like oh give me the knife I go no no don't touch it oh sorry and then when you hug to it
yeah okay and then you pick it up so there's some people really lathering it's not a real
spit you're not spitting you just go poof man but the reason for it is apparently if you give a sharp
object to another person you fight it's it's it's in order to in order to avoid like I guess
bad juju or in order to avoid a duel in the future I don't know what it was the historical
thing is an unhex it's like a person in uncursing thing kind of like the evil on and so like when
it's all about intention like sometimes uh uh which is spit over your shoulder when you feel
like someone's following you you feel like an astral presence is following you oh my gosh
I have a question for you wait that's brilliant okay because you said astral you know about
astral projecting yeah I've been I've been going on some K holes wait it's like it's it's actually
sometimes I find myself with a few hours to kill and I'm like we're gonna try again I don't know
I I I I I watched the videos I listened to the by neural beats that are supposed to help
and I swear I've been close but then I'm also like I'm also like what am I doing I had an
ex-boyfriend really fun naps he would he would stalk me through astral projecting no really and I
never knew if I believed him or not but I couldn't tell I could tell when he told you he was like
I'm stalking you so he would always brag about astral projecting like all the time and then
and then we broke up okay I know this seems crazy girl okay what I'm in a safe space you're in a brave
space sometimes I open up more than I should it's a problem I have no this is great um so so we
break up right and well and throughout our relationship like I got him like a Christmas present
and he like knew what it was and I was like how does he know you know I feel like there's probably
a different way he could find out without I don't think so and so then we break up and I'm like
sad and I like right in my journal right right in my journal I'm in my room my door is locked I'm a
sleep I wake up at the middle of the night and I feel like someone's watching me and I'm like I get
really like weird feeling and I just kind of like shake it off I go back to sleep the next morning
he texts me an expert an excerpt from my journal is that weird that's not what if he was talking
you IRL yeah I feel like you were just breaking into your yeah I mean I'm like okay so I've never
spoken with anyone who truly earnestly has convinced me that they've astral project but I'm
also like again sometimes there's logical explanations for things and then our brain chooses
you guys think he was under my bed I don't know I wasn't there I don't have an ex contextual
clues enough contextual clues but what I can say is the next time you feel them creep in that's
what burning sage or other like when you are cleansing an area that's to get rid of those kind
of you can close the astral plane salt salt at the entrances of your house and I have heard that
if you do your shoes toe to heel that it confuses ghosts at the end of your bed have you ever heard
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and tell them we sent you I think I've heard so what would you recommend would you recommend
just doing these things just as a precautionary measure because I'm I'm genuinely I'm just a
little super I don't know what's coming at me it's it's one of those things where the more you
choose to engage in it the more you'll notice it yeah you know what I mean like the more you're
like keeping your mind open for things the more you're like this squirrels talking to me you're
talking to you're talking to I type of contracts do these things and I don't know it's not based
on any like actual like things that people do but I'll make up things in my head like I'll be
all I'm not dead serious it may be OCD I don't know but I'll be like washing my hands and I'll be
like if I don't do this for this period of time something bad is going yeah you do have OCD Austin
you're describing OCD yeah your bedtime routine is very OCD well I mean I do have a bed time
routine but I feel like it's good for me well I think I think what we're learning I think what
we're collectively learning especially people in I'm guessing our age yes yeah yeah so I think
we're learning that there's a lot of cultural impacts that cause waves you know like higher
amounts of the same neurodivergence because of similarities to how we were raised and how we
were conditioned and the technology that's available so you think Furby's gave everyone autism I
think I don't know the pipeline between like the power rangers right and why we're also obsessed
with doing things a certain way yeah um I like to think because I was a latch key kid that's a lot
of part a lot of it you know like taking care of yourself but then also like spending time alone
I'd be like well mom said as long as I never answer the phone while she's gone you know don't tell
people you know it isn't kind of I don't know I don't know what the pipeline is but I do know
interesting we're probably all somewhere on the spectrum with the things that we all share yes
enough of us all have enough of the same things that I think it's time to start accepting that
we collectively share these symptoms whether we've been diagnosed with them or not and I think
sometimes we need to look at the symptoms and worry about assessing the symptoms before we worry
about a diagnosis because sometimes you got to get the symptoms in control to properly assess
I like that like my narcolepsy was misdiagnosed um for a while really because like narcolepsy is not
a common thing but depression is you know um so and then I was an alcoholic for years and that
masked a lot of the things that like I couldn't realize because I was always either drunk or hungover
some kind of affected so um so it's like finding out in my 30s oh you have lots of ADHD in there you know
and I haven't been diagnosed with any um OCD but I did have a therapist say once after working
with me for months I was like these kind of feel like maybe they could be OCD tendencies in the
therapist said wait we have we've been operating this whole time under the assumption you don't
and he was like I just thought that was what we were working on was you and I was like no so you
know what I mean and I know we shouldn't try to self-diagnose we shouldn't start going around
trying to play the like poor me game you know because here's the big thing that I think a lot of
people forget about identifying those things is once you identify them then it's your choice
how to you still got to find a way to interact with other people you know what I mean like I don't
think identifying your neurodivergence is now a free pass to behave however you want I think
I've always compared my neurodivergence to my alcoholism because they all kind of stem from
similar routes and once I realized I was an alcoholic I was like okay this is bleeding out
and affecting other people and I can either choose to divert that energy or I can choose to lose
my friends but we all get to decide our own boundaries and so while you're just
determining your boundaries you have to recognize that other people are also doing the same
right and they have every right to do that yeah this is a crazy segue but mentioning alcoholism
I know you've played Judy on I'm about to play oh yeah but I did play her on the snap
and off west end right yes but like do you as it easier to because she's she had the same problems
in her life right and so I think I think well I'll say playing Mary Todd who in oh Mary was written
as an alcoholic and I think when someone knows why they drink and can effectively communicate and I
feel like I feel like we have enough clues as to what caused a lot of Judy Garland substance abuse
issues you know and so with those clues and what she shared publicly and what you can kind of
piece together you're like oh like it's kind of the same thing our society did a Britney Spears
yeah right oh yeah other people who had to grow up in the public eye is not other people other
women who had to grow up in the public eye and had men just constantly telling them how to behave
and then how to pull off behaving that way how do you like how do you immerse yourself in a
role like that is it like a question like that's such a dream role uh I guess I I like to first
always find what I have in common with my characters and so I don't drink anymore but I remember
why I drank yeah and I remember what it helped with and um you know I like to start where
we're the same and then that kind of lives in the core of it while I find all the ways that were
different right I'm sorry I'm like such I'm such a Judy nerd like I the first time I ever came to
LA that was like I was like I have to go to her star I have to go to her house I have to tell chat
which Judy you're talking about regardless science thank you Judy Garland everybody there for
chat she uh oh sorry oh yes I was like yeah she's like Dorothy Garland moments all of them
I'm like I'm like Donald Trump like all the passages
the money I thought I played Dorothy oh yeah he did he did you want to you could rank his performance
maybe oh my god we could do that March you want to pull up
wow he did a lovely job it was a bit of it was an off Broadway
pretty far off well March just pulling that up I wanted to address something with you
um room and I've been leading for weeks uh oh are you looking at this area
I he likes to send these things up obviously your jinx fucking monsoon but on top of that you
you share something in common with me.
Oh my goodness.
We are, if you say something mean,
don't, no.
We are both from Portland, Oregon.
God.
Oh.
We are.
Yes, we are both from Portland, Oregon,
and I have been trying to get them to visit me
and they refuse to come to our city.
She has a past.
They have refused to come see me in Portland,
and Oregon.
Hold on, hold on.
I know that's distracting.
Real quick.
We need to address this.
Well, is it something you go other places?
Yes, they do.
Many other places.
I said I would come to Portland,
and I am working on setting up a showdown in Portland.
Yes.
I'm looking at your pearl necklace
and wondering how you've never gone to Portland.
Yes.
Yes.
It wouldn't Hassan fit in so well in Portland?
Yeah.
I mean, we've got something for everybody.
I go to places where people disagree with me.
He's like, I see.
He's holding back.
That's not true.
You barely can have to try cities right out.
Yes, you do.
We have many.
I'm not kidding.
You get a little bit of everything.
I'm important.
You do?
Because for some reason, even though Portland is this liberal, progressive mecca,
and the Pacific Northwest, and I always think it's like one of the most progressive,
at least in its principles, not always in its practice,
because the Pacific Northwest can stand to be more diverse in background.
Once you get outside of the city limits, it gets a little bit...
I just want to acknowledge that I'm not sitting here patting my own back here
for being born somewhere.
But the point is...
Austin is all the time.
It's a very progressive place.
And then you just go 40 minutes outside of Portland,
and it's like you're in the deep south of the southern.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, Confederate flags.
And people have southern accents.
Yes.
And you're like, how?
How did they get southern accents?
My friends and dad is in the North.
And you have the southern accent.
Like you're from Grand Spas in the park.
I know.
And I had drag queens that I grew up with who were like, girl, you better get gotten them deep,
I'm like, where are you from?
And she's like, grash him.
Which is a...
If you went, you would know.
If you would know.
I'm very familiar.
Portland is like an island surrounded by white supremacists on clay.
So here's what you need to go to Portland for.
So much weed.
Yes.
Great weed.
We have more.
I know nowadays it doesn't matter.
We also have full nude strip clubs.
That's right.
More per capita in anywhere in the world.
Okay, we don't have that in L.A.
Because of the liquor license law, we do not have that in L.A.
Yeah, and we have strip clubs full dong.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
Dog out.
Stag.
Stag and Silverado.
It's Silverado.
I'd love to go to.
Nobody will talk.
I'm always thinking, where can I see more dong?
Portland and Toronto.
That's right.
You know what?
I've been telling them they need to look at a little bit more dong.
And DC.
You can see Don and DC.
Yes.
And what else about Portland?
We have one of the longest running drag shows in America,
like the second longest running drag cabaret.
Darcelle.
Darcelle.
Darcelle.
Rest in peace.
Yes.
You know what it is, is that it's just like there's nothing too much to do.
But also everything you get in any other city, but no pressure to do it all the time.
And if you go visit other cities, it's just like what's your excuse?
If you've been to Vegas and you've never been to Portland,
you're not a man.
I hate Las Vegas.
I hate most cities.
That tracks you.
I couldn't sit here.
I'm so proud.
Before we move off completely, can we watch this riveting performance?
Is this somewhere over the rain?
Oh, that's me.
I played the dog.
I was the dog.
Don't know.
That's me.
Okay.
Yeah, just a small clip.
Just a little taste.
I was the slutty lion.
They don't understand you at home.
They don't appreciate you.
Why?
This is like...
That was miserable.
What was inside of me?
It is my trade.
It's my calling.
It's what it says on the side of my complaints.
You're no.
Sounds like a man.
Ah, perfect, perfect.
Yeah.
So what was inside of you?
I have no idea.
I'm still trying to find out.
It was remarkable listening to him sing the songs.
Yeah.
Because he had never heard them before.
He's never watched what it was.
I watched bits and pieces.
I kind of know the vibes.
Is it that you haven't seen a lot of movies or just...
That's it.
Or just this one.
I've seen a decent amount of movies.
I watched movies.
I just had...
I mean, I remember watching him when I was younger.
Like, a little bit.
But I just don't...
I don't know.
I don't have really good recall.
I haven't seen so many films.
But because there's such a big part of culture in America in the U.S.
That I feel inundated by them.
And I actually had my friend test me once.
I knew basically the plot of every Star Wars movie,
even though I've never seen it.
Wow.
Really?
And he was sitting there stunned because he'd say the Star Wars movie.
And I'd sit there.
And of course I'd be kind of like, you know, paraphrasing and half-assing it.
But I was more honest right with five out of the six films.
Just based on the title.
No, just based on being my age in America is the U.S.
It's like...
I never chose it.
But apparently guy, the sipsons, everyone parodies it.
So it's like, I don't even ask to know about Star Wars or Indiana Jones.
Yeah.
But I know everything about them.
Well, they're also on the same rails for the most part, right?
I mean, it's always the same like hero's journey.
Yeah.
Well, the way I feel about it is there are these big signifiers of straight culture
that have been inundated upon me.
And then...
Right.
And then when I say a queer celebrity's name and a straight person says, oh, I don't
know who that is.
And I'm like, oh, well, they're blah, blah, blah.
A red queen or queer celebrity.
Right.
And they go, well, why would I know who that is?
Yeah.
Because I fucking know who...
Obi-Wan Kenobi is.
Obi-Wan Kenobi.
I know who...
What's the football?
Joe Nameth.
Yeah.
Like I have no reason of knowing that name.
Yeah.
But I do.
You know.
Mickey Mantle.
Right.
You know some names.
You know some names.
Learn some names.
Okay.
So I'm realizing that I'm an equal opportunity hater because I have no idea who those names
are that you've ever heard.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it's not just like queer culture that escapes me.
I never said you in particular.
Yeah, he didn't do that.
He didn't do that.
He did it.
He did it.
He did it.
He did it.
He did it.
He did it.
He did it.
He did it.
He did it.
Straight guys who want to prove their allies.
Hey guys.
I was wondering.
Okay.
Okay.
Start to start over.
Sorry.
He hit me.
He hit me.
He hit me.
Hey guys.
I was wondering.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
Cutie.
Did these look normal to you?
No.
You've got to see a doctor.
How could I find one?
Put that down for a moment.
Please.
Why?
Cutie.
You need to go see a doctor.
And I understand how difficult that might be in the United States of America.
Identifying a doctor.
Because a lot of them could be out of network.
But you got to use Zock-Dock.
Because Zock-Dock can help you avoid all of these troubles and problems.
Really?
I just really...
No.
Oh my god.
Cutie.
Oh my god.
That's right.
Does that put off?
No.
We're not finished yet.
Well, we got to keep going.
Cutie, you really got to get that taken care of.
And you know what, Cutie?
In the United States of America, you deserve a good doctor.
One that you can trust.
Right?
Which is why I go and use Zock-Dock.
So stop putting out those doctor's appointments, Cutie.
And go to Zock-Dock.com slash fear and find an instantly book-atoperated doctor today.
That's COC-D-O-C dot com slash fear.
This message is sponsored by Zock-Dock.
Okay.
Oh, I do the opposite.
I approve of my enemy.
But go out.
He's an enemy.
I've just been thinking of a straight guy wants to prove that he's an ally to the queer community.
Yeah.
It just fucked me.
I know.
Because that's pretty much.
I agree.
I agree.
Go for it.
Do you guys really?
Yeah.
I think I have something.
I absolutely think you do.
And I actually think you'll find a lot of stress.
If I were to start a service, is that just a high-end prostitute?
No, no, no.
Honestly, I think if I was to go for it.
Well, we wouldn't put fucking in the contract, but it's only implied.
You know what I mean?
But it's mutual consent.
It's like the gavers are being invited to the cook-at.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think you should.
Is this horrible?
No.
Are you kidding me?
We are all about that.
I absolutely think that.
You know, look out.
Look out.
If I asked, he jumped on it.
It also works the other way around.
Like, prove you don't like it.
Yeah.
Well, I think we've learned that it's hard.
There's enough gay-for-payment out there.
Disproving.
Oh.
It's gone about that.
It's over about it.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Tell me about it.
Well, I don't know.
I met one the other day.
Is it a...
You met one.
I met one.
And I just looked at him and I said, what in the hell are you doing?
And why is it not me?
Could I do straight for me?
Oh, yeah, I could do it.
My head, I could get hard.
He does it every day.
Look at me.
How much more gay can I be for this man?
No, no, no.
Right now, now you're looking gay as hell.
Because people can't see us gay.
I ever get when you said I brought up your boyfriend.
Oh, shit.
Did you not know when I walked in?
I, you know, there's three guys, one and three...
Yeah, it's true.
30%.
30%, 20%.
How could you be able to straight up out of us three?
us three, like who would you perceive as gay?
Listen, I try not to presume anyone's sexuality here.
But if you were to.
I presume everyone wants to do me.
And then I accept rejection as he's either not
into chicks or not into dick.
No, that's a good way to live life.
I love that.
Now, I try to, you know,
you've got a crop tank top and you're showing
your Calvin Klein's underwear right now.
Like they can't see it.
But this is a, this is a very game thing.
You're gaslighting your audience at home,
not watching that.
I mean, it's not really cropped,
but it's like a, it's like a, like a low,
it's a high cut.
He really was looking a little deeper than I thought.
No, as soon as you walked in,
I was like, this is the gay itself in your warrant.
Out of the three of you,
yes, he has the most gay sensibility.
But see, this is the thing.
It's like the Pearl Necklace at a different time.
Yes, might have said to people like,
no, not quite much, we don't know what that is.
But here's where we are, you know?
And it's funny because it's like, I feel like,
I feel like it started in porn.
Some guys were wearing pearl necklaces
and then all of a sudden,
everyone's wearing pearl necklaces,
and they're nails and it's not gay all of a sudden.
Yeah, it's so true.
Because like, it is, it's just a construct.
It's just how we've been taught.
But what gets so frustrating is watching,
and this is where the words, you know,
like appropriation and gay beating and all this shit,
you know, like, this is why people get frustrated
is the same shit that we were, you know,
not allowed to do as kids because it would give us away.
And we were so frightful of because of getting beat up
or threatened or, you know?
And then now, because things have shifted,
it's like the same people who would have bullied you
are now wearing nail polish.
Sure.
And I'm not implying that you would have bullied me.
I'm just saying, in general,
these are where the frustrations come from.
But it's also like,
but that the fact that he's wearing a pearl necklace
is a good thing, you know?
So it's a double sided thing, you know?
I think the interesting thing is even being a straight male,
I think I, like, it was interesting being like a flamboyant kid
where I definitely am not in the homosexual vein.
I'm more in like the professional wrestler vein.
Yeah.
We're like, I'm just a peak outfit.
Right.
And I think regardless of your actual sexuality,
I think you endure a lot of the same hatred.
We're like, growing up, I was called the effsler constantly.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I was not.
And I'm, that's what you were going to be presented.
I was raised straight.
Right, right.
You know, I mean, if you watch this man watch Vikings football,
I promise you, you will be like,
there's no way he has ever had a penis in his mouth.
Like it's just, which by the way, obviously,
B.A. contains.
He didn't travel retot you.
And he didn't talk about it.
He talked about it a lot.
He talked to me a lot.
He talked to me a lot.
And that's what I'm saying.
But like, he is way straighter than I am in many respects.
All right.
And many aspects of his life, if you could have a heated rivalry,
someone that you kind of hate appear who's like,
but you find very attractive, who would your heated rival be?
Oh, there's your Candace Owens, I would say, right?
There's too many.
Jesus Christ.
That's it, frame one.
That was it.
You caught mine is weird, but I've been feeling like it would be,
I've been trying to manifest Eric Andre,
and I work together because I just feel like credible.
Or Jason Menzoukis, you know, like,
those are some heated rival rights.
Because it's just like, there's these men whose energy,
I feel like I need to match that energy.
Right.
Because that would be fun.
But that's more like as an actress, I want to get in the ring
with some of the wrestling.
But do you ever come to WrestleMania?
I'm going to WrestleMania this year.
I was this close to going to WrestleMania.
Come with my brother.
Because we wanted to go somewhere where there was very little chance
of me being recognized, but we're people.
It's a drag for straight people.
100%.
That's what professional wrestling is.
Pull this up real quick.
Pull up Dalton Castle.
I want you to.
I didn't think I would.
This is like the height of kind of straight drag
is Dalton Castle.
And I always thought the Undertaker was very, very drag.
Even though he's whole character.
Yeah, but his whole character is like, oh, you're a spooky,
eternal being.
This is Dalton Castle.
You're telling me this isn't drag.
The peacock leather doll.
Yes.
I thought you were going to bring up.
Hold up.
Look at this.
It's fabulous.
Oh my god.
That's so fun.
And this is all.
And this is what like, so you were talking about him being
straighter than you in comparison in regards to things.
Then we look at this and we know WrestleMania is like hands down
and considered us straight there.
And yet it is drag.
And yet we have deemed that that's manly drag.
Even though it's still sequenced.
Super gay.
And so the whole idea of someone behaving straight
or behaving gay is the thing that we've got to break down.
Yes.
And that's why I brought up heated rivalry.
Because it's not so much about who likes sports and who likes sewing.
It's just about who likes sucking dick.
Yeah.
That's true.
It's true.
Grateful loss of a oneself.
And even if you're gay, maybe it may not be your favorite game to do.
Right.
You know, I mean, I don't know.
I look at it.
Look at him.
He has validation.
I have a very, I have a sterling reputation.
Really?
He has a very, he has a reputation as well.
Yes, thank you.
He is a specialist.
Let me be a service talk.
Thank you.
But he's a selfish top.
Okay.
James, they have, they have, they have plagued me with this association of being a selfish top.
Oh, you hate it.
Or so long.
And I've been trying to break through to, to the people.
He's an ass eater.
We give him that.
Yes.
That's what I like.
He's an ass eater.
He loves being an ass.
And I love to do that.
And usually that's like, that's a good thing.
And, and usually the men that I'm with, they don't really even want their dick sucked.
Same.
Every time.
Every time.
Every time.
Every time.
Every time.
Every time.
Every time.
Every time.
Every time.
No, no, no.
I want to be honest with you.
Oh, yes.
Shake it.
Should they.
Should they want me to do so?
Yeah.
I would gladly do so.
But here's the thing.
I don't enjoy it, but I'll do it.
Not enthusiastically.
The first thing is if you don't enjoy it.
Sure.
And then you are with people who I'm guessing enjoy having sex with you.
Sure.
And you're like, but they don't even want their dick sucked.
It's like, when you did suck their dick, was it like.
No.
No.
No.
No.
You know, like.
No.
You know, like.
I put my whole throat into it.
All of it.
Everything you like to do.
I mean, I do have a gas reflex.
Unfortunately.
Oh, God.
What?
The whole time.
Oh, God.
I don't even mean vulnerable here.
You know what?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're too picky.
You're like, you're, you're too, you're.
This is my favorite thing about.
You can't get nasty with it.
Yeah.
So is I had a friend in college.
He was a straight male friend.
I called him my fagstags.
And he was like, the one, not, I'm being hyperbolic.
But one straight male friend that I made who never ended up wanting to hook up.
And it's like a lot of my straight male friends are curious and whatever friends felt safe experimenting
with me probably because they could see my very naturally feminine tendencies and felt kind
of, I always said, I'm like a semi-permeable membrane between straight and gay.
So I feel like this is my favorite aspect of where we're at communally is straight men saying,
he is an ass eater.
I'll give him that.
I will give him that.
My bro eats that.
That dude.
That he won't suck, dude.
And what's that all about?
And I feel really good about your friends here.
No.
I do like it.
You know what?
And they push me to be a better cocksucker.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
We clown on him for trying boot camp.
Oh, he's trying to get me to bottom as what he's trying to get me to do.
That's the type of friendship we have, really.
I just think we just want you to expand your horizon.
It's hard into it.
Just focus on the things that you do like.
But this is where non-monogamy comes in great.
You don't like second dick person you're with.
Yes.
But I always thank you for the right people.
You've got to be willing to, you know,
even if it's not your favorite thing.
Oh, you know, once a year on their day.
Oh, I do it.
No, don't believe me.
The straight people will at least do once a year on their birthday.
Yes.
So we have to show up that much.
I do show up.
I will do if there's something that needs to be done.
I will do it.
You know what I mean?
I'll be there.
I'll be there.
He's a real CS player.
Team players.
I will be, you know, but like, you know, and, you know,
like he's in a, he tried to get me, he tried to get me to do bootie boot camp.
You know, like the, the, the, the late you get up,
you, you kind of get bigger and bigger.
I don't know if you've experienced well.
Anyway.
No, I just took asked you to.
Anyway, but, but I took bootie boot camp.
I went to, I went through the thing
and then nobody wants to talk me.
That's not true.
Well, that's not true.
There is a top shortage out there.
Also, it doesn't even matter.
Like, if you don't want to do it, you don't want to do it.
Like, we're not.
Yeah, yeah.
We're not literally forcing you to bottom.
They're just, they're urging you to reciprocate.
Yeah, actually, they're actually.
But I'm a bossy bottom.
So a, a, a lazy top, it usually works well with.
Selfish lazy.
You could say the same.
Like, when you say selfish,
do you mean that is it because he will only top?
Or is he also not doing any of the work?
No, I.
He's never been.
I know.
It's like.
It's a meme because of, because of how he presents himself.
I have offered to FaceTime him while I'm.
It's a lens.
It's a show in how selfless I am.
It lenses on.
I'm doing so perfectly.
It lenses also perfectly to this meme
that he's a selfish top.
Also partially because like.
For.
Let's be real.
There are a lot of bottoms who want us.
I know.
I've been.
Which is part of the reason why, which is part of the reason why I feel like.
That's why they don't want you to.
If you feel like they don't want you to bottom,
it's because there's enough in L.A.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know.
It's a, it's a perfect thing to get really hyperbolic with
because it like it doesn't actually hurt his reputation at all.
And people.
Well, people.
I've been fighting against it for a while.
Yeah.
He's it.
He fights against it.
I think a lot of people like on the outside might get mad at it.
They're like, why is your straight friends doing this or whatever.
But like, I don't think it has hurt your reputation in the gay community at all.
Oh, absolutely not.
No.
If you're getting more.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
People are like, I want you to be selfish.
And I'm like, well, please, if that's what you want.
Yeah.
We have.
Which is limited time with you.
I have to talk to you.
I think we're going to say we have a clip of him being a selfish.
Yeah.
Pull up the face.
Behind the paywall when we get to the Patreon.
He's still on the dog cost.
Yeah.
That's right.
I really want to talk to you about something that I don't think you've talked about much.
Sure.
Your work with Pendleton Ward.
Chuching.
What's that, Will?
It's all the money I'm making on Shopify, baby.
Shopify.
I was telling my fingernail clippings.
Oh, my God.
There's a market.
Really?
Yeah.
I'm selling my toes.
We can only really do that 10 times.
You should.
You know what?
But there's a space for everybody's small business.
Whether it be your toes, your fingernail clippings, or just your charming personality.
Yeah.
Or your quality product.
Or your quality product.
And you know what?
We can all use, guys.
What?
We can use Shopify to sell those things.
Yeah.
They make the intimidation of business easy all in one place.
You can sign up for only $1 per month.
What?
How much?
$1 per month with the trial today at Shopify.com slash fear.
Oh, my God.
Go to Shopify.com slash fear.
Where do I go?
That's Shopify.com slash fear.
One more time.
Sell anything, make a business.
It makes businesses easy, big, small, large, or small again, whatever.
You are the new lemon grab.
We've done adventure time, Fiona and cake.
And I am a huge cartoon fan.
I've actually worked with one of Pendleton's storyboard artist, Lord Spew, on a cartoon called
Bodyhead.
How is it working with Pendleton?
Well, I would say I've worked more with Adam Muto.
Okay.
But I definitely got to meet Pendleton Ward ages ago when I actually went to the cartoon network
studio when I was voicing a character on Steven Universe.
And Rebecca Sugar had also worked on adventure time.
Right.
I can tell you as someone who grew up watching adventure time and stayed with it even
as I kind of aged out, but then the show kind of aged with us.
Yeah.
I really, I continue to watch it today.
It's one of those feel good philosophical rumps.
Yes.
Anyway.
So when they had to replace lemon grab, and I don't know if he'll be making future appearances,
I got to take over lemon grab because I was already voicing the alternate universe version
of lemon grab.
That's so funny.
Lemon Carb with Cree Sumner, who is one of the like the biggest voice talents of the game.
But I can tell you the whole family there, it's like, it's when you, I think the reason
why once I did Steven Universe, the door was kind of wide open for adventure time because
they all love what they're doing.
You know, and I think it's, it's one of the best things is when you can make what you love
doing your work because then the work is good because it's not someone forcing you to be
creative.
You're being creative because that's what you like.
Are we going to get more voiceover stuff from you?
I know that you were recently on, I'm sorry, I'm blanking on the show, there was one.
I was like, what was the one you most recently?
Crapopolis.
Yes, Crapopolis.
Crapopolis.
House broken.
I've been in a handful of things and I have a handful more things coming out, but it's
all an India territory.
Oh.
But it has been talked about that large of the stars has been off series of Steven Universe.
Yeah.
We'll be hitting the stream waves or I don't know how TV works now.
I don't know if it's everywhere.
Are there still networks or are these directly to your watch?
It's just one big network.
Coming to a dream and coming into your dreams.
Astro project.
Astro project, but large of the stars of when that comes to fruition you might be hearing
a recurring Emerald Appearance.
Amazing.
Amazing.
Well, we have to cut you loose.
This has been absolutely amazing.
Well, we have we have 10 minutes.
We do.
Oh, sorry.
I'm sorry.
I thought it was.
Yeah, that was a lot of time.
You were being cockin' it for no reason.
Well, I liked when we were just like shouting about superstitions and stuff.
Oh, yeah.
We're working on it.
Yeah.
We're working on it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Jinks, what do you got?
What are you got coming up?
Well, I am going to play Judy Garland.
We start May.
Soho, Waltham, Waltham, Waltham.
Waltham, Waltham.
Oh my god.
I get it.
I get it.
I'm with you.
They know.
Y'all.
Just Google it.
Jinks, Judy.
I've got that.
I've got my next EP coming out this summer.
It's Virgo Odyssey Leo Moon is the part two.
And oh, annually, I do the Jinks and De La Holiday tour with Bendala Kram.
And we actually, it's, what, is it spring yet?
It's spring now and we're about to take photos for our winter tour.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Does that go all over the country?
All over the US and Canada.
Portland, if you have few stops.
Yeah, we have Portland.
We do LA at the Dolby Theater.
Where do you go in Portland?
Arlene Schnitzer.
Arlene Schnitz.
Yeah.
The Schnitz.
That's what you want to do because we're going to do a podcast tour.
So we want to, I want to do the Schnitz to dream.
So you want to, this is some stuff that you'll understand.
Okay.
I never had an after school job other than working at the Escape Night Club
and Saturday Market.
Shut up.
I was a street mime at the Saturday Market.
Oh my god.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
And as a teenager in high school.
I was my gosh.
I was a street mime.
Yeah.
That is so cool.
That is so cool.
That is so cool.
I just want to get into the world of street mime.
Yeah.
That's important shit out there.
Well, I was doing, I was doing drag at the nightclub.
And so we would mime, but really we were lip syncing,
doing drag numbers with physical mime and stuff.
But it was me and my good pal Etienne.
And we would paint our faces white.
We called ourselves the street dolls because we acted,
I acted like a wind up doll.
And he acted like a floppy rag doll.
Oh my god.
That sounds like a portlandia.
Okay.
If you watch portlandia, it is eerily accurate.
Yes.
It is like that's fun.
It is kind of scary how on the known they are.
And people are like, those characters are pretty wild.
But that's really how it is.
That's why you need to go to Portland.
I get material.
The dream of the 90s is alive.
It's like portlandia.
I've always been confused as to like,
because we find it funny because we live there.
And it's so real.
But like people that aren't from Portland don't.
Is it you're just watching?
Yeah.
What do you show or what?
That's what I want.
I mean, we're also still familiar with like the vibes
that Portland goes out.
But like it's so, it's so niche and really like into the,
into the Portland nitty-gritty.
They're keeping the Portland now.
They're keeping the most accurate characters on Portlandia.
Like one of the sketches.
Yeah.
Like one of my favorite ones is when they did the,
it was when they, with a free range chicken.
And they went and they went and met the chicken.
Obviously it's exaggerated.
But there are some places where it's like the chickens are,
you can go and see the chickens.
Yeah.
Like the feminist bookstore.
Oh yes.
That's like those ladies were like my library.
Yeah.
And they were my friends mom.
Yeah.
You know, like I just knew too many women like the feminist bookstore owners.
Yeah.
My favorite one of all time is the Brickleberry pancakes,
where Tim Robbins runs like a breakfast street gang.
And because they cut the line, he makes them eat a pop tart.
As like panelists.
Yes, it's coming back.
Go ahead and eat your breakfast.
It's got preservatives.
And if you're going to love it,
you're lying cut up.
At this point, like I still, me and my friend's assistant,
when we need to find each other in like a home depot or something,
it's still.
Oh God.
I love that.
Do you, do you know what they got?
Okay.
This is like a Portland.
Only people that grew up here would know this.
You ever go to like a,
did you ever go to Blazers Games or anything like that?
Or like, like.
Blazers game.
A blues festival.
Blues Fest.
Waterfront Blues Festival.
Yeah, I went to the blues fest.
Okay.
This guy was everywhere.
My family went to Blazers.
Okay.
But like this guy is everywhere.
Any major event in Portland,
the guy that was painted himself silver with the balls.
Yes.
Do you know him?
Yes, he used to hate us.
Really?
You were competing with him.
You had a competition with silver though, guy.
Oh God.
Like a rivalry.
You were a rivalry.
A rivalry.
A rivalry.
A rivalry.
A rivalry.
The spots had hours of the day.
Yeah.
That you could perform at.
And there were certain spots.
And busking was allowed in certain parts of downtown,
but not on owned property.
Yeah, okay.
The mall.
So you had there were very specific spots you could busk in in Portland.
And silver ball, guy.
Yes.
Wait.
That's where I know that.
This was his full-time job.
But he wasn't always silver.
Sometimes he was copper.
Yeah.
Sometimes he was like.
Always metallic.
Mostly silver though.
Yeah, mostly silver.
Yeah.
And he would juggle the balls.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Was it a fushigi?
No, it was like it.
It was like this.
Pull up the ad for fushigi.
He was just like this.
And then he would just freeze for a while.
And he wouldn't do shit.
And he would shake your hand.
Oh, I didn't know you could touch him.
I was terrified of them.
If you tipped him, he would shake your hand.
Oh.
I'd never tipped him.
But he never spout.
You could only touch the dancers in the elevator too.
Did he ever hang full dog?
That's crazy.
Sorry.
But we used to have to try to beat him to the good spots.
Oh.
And he never proved because he was always...
Omnipresent.
Yeah.
No, he was always like...
Did you ever get in a fight with silver ball?
No, because he never spoke.
Yeah.
It was like he would barely...
He would very sternly adjust out of spots.
Yeah, he would never...
Oh, oh, like physically, he would interrupt.
He would start down the street and we'd see people going over to him.
And then we would just kind of get intimidated because we'd be like...
Is he still performing?
I don't know.
I haven't seen him in years.
Oh, my God.
He made that move.
He made that move.
Do you remember when God was...
Did you see the article about God in Portland?
And it was the lady who sat in the center pioneer square for like...
I think she just sat there for four weeks straight, not speaking.
Oh, my God.
And everyone was like, how is she sustaining her?
Oh, my God.
I don't remember this.
Oh, I don't remember.
Oh, well.
God was in Portland.
Well, that's what people called her because they were making assumptions about it.
Yeah, that's...
Portland...
This is why you guys need to come to Portland.
It's such a good...
We have a naked bike ride.
I can't believe you haven't wanted to.
You're still in Portland.
Yes, yes.
All right.
For Portland, art...
This was the same thing I wanted to talk to you about.
The other guy, hanging full dogs.
Yes.
And Paratroids gets a friendly moment.
Well, we should end up eating it.
It's a part of the whole thing.
People have labels on her.
She's doing it.
She never called herself a dog.
There's always people.
She's never called herself a dog.
She sat there quietly contemplating and people loved her.
Where is she? Where is she at now? Do we know? She just left. She was there for about four weeks and then just like she came
One day she she disappeared
Austin show when we come to Portland
Can we do a silver ball guy's dream where you bring back?
I mean, yeah, if I could he's silver and we let you bust
I mean, I don't know if I could do it, but I mean he was really just he would just do this and he wore like a hat
A bucket hat for
They were
Big baggy clothes. Yes, we're all so much. Can we pull up silver Portland or guys are last. Yeah, yeah, I just
He was he was like an institution. Yes, he was
Like a universal Portland
Like Portland trailblazers
I was trying to give you the places where he would
Right here, that's the oh, I see
Wait, wait, wait, that is the spot. We used to oh my god. He this is a year ago. Wait, I'm still doing it
I've seen this guy. Yeah, I have to go stream with over or
I said this guy before
That he is not aged a day while the
I mean you think that
Past the trade on down to his next
We may not be the same guy we always felt like there was more than one. Yes
Maybe there's a whole family of silver
Yes, this is the guy. He's so easy notorious. It's important
Yes
This is almost looks like a different person. This looks like the next generation
Is her hair coming out the back
No, no, it's got like a hood under
Because the original silver or I would have never let that happen. Oh, is that it?
That is the exact
And do you how much money do you think he was making an hour that guy? Oh, I don't know
He was clean and house from sunrise to sunset. I know unbelievable. It was
His livelihood. Yes, and in Portland you dream it you could do it
The dream is a lot of important on that note
Ladies and gentlemen, it was such a pleasure to have you on jinx mom soon everybody
Is there anything you'd like to say to our audience on anything that obviously we we know you're on off west end with Dorothy
coming up
But but it's called it's called uh end of the rainbow. Oh, it's called into the rainbow
I know you know you just go to jinx mom soon calm. That's J. I. N. K. X
Don't forget the K. It was expensive
Jake's mom soon everybody. Thank you very much
Let me let me try
I'm in line. We're both in line. You have a few bot tampons
Lots of tech to go now. You're checking out with a heavy flow
widest
I'm so sorry
I say about
I am so what you're going through right now is just unbelievable and I just
And I just want to let you know that you have beautiful eyes. Is everybody we're talking
What am I going through right now? You're going through a period and I
Quite a bit of team. Look at all the dam pots. Okay. Hey. Okay. You know what? Let me start over. Okay. Let me start over. Okay. Um, it's a real
God this line is so long
Are you talking to me? Yes. Yeah, I was just I was just commenting on how long the line was
Oh my god. Where did you get that shirt? Oh, thank you free people free people?
Has anybody ever told you that's your color? No, that's so nice. Yeah, of course. He's sticking the line
That's what you do. He's stuck the line. You did it. I like doing it. By playing weight gain. You can go gay too
You want me to be performatively homosexual to give a woman a compliment on women's month. Yes. Yeah. All right. I'll go
Nice
No, okay, see what you did there
You kind of you throttle
You
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