We're Slowly Losing Our Minds | Fear&

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I built you back up as a funny guy.

That was me.

That was me.

That was me, Prada.

Hey, Emily.

I made you.

I built you from the.

Play.

You want to have us, buddy?

We made it on your original podcast.

Fucking.

And yeah.

Don't do it.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh

Ladies and a gentlemen.

Welcome to another episode of the Viran podcast.

It's Monday morning The birds are chirping in the American working class is just getting

started.

day and get you through your week, maybe your month or your year, this is a hard pivot

to a radio show. Hey, it's Fear and Groot in the morning, everybody. I hope you're having

a nice commute. It's busy out there. Woo! It's heatwave. Sweeping six degrees in sunny

in California. That's right. Wait, I have good sunny news. What's that? Wow. I brought

your Christmas presents. Oh, thank you. No, that's wonderful. Wow. I love to celebrate

the holidays in March. I brought them. I thought about just saving them till next year,

but honestly, that's what I do sometimes. Give us a little Christmas music. Okay. Christmas.

All right. Oh, it's got the Christmas packaging everywhere. Everybody's waiting for the

man with the bag. Because Christmas is here again. I have never heard. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, hold on.

What? I've never heard that Christmas song in my life. Everybody's waiting for the man with

the bag. Christmas is here again. But you can't be. You can't be. You can't be. The man with the bag.

I know that. Are you sure this was about cocaine? That goes to his son. Oh, oh, my gosh.

And then this went to Will. oh, wait a minute. Is that Jesus Christ? Yeah, I know, it's Kenia

Garden. This is Barefoot Contessa. Yeah, where did you find this at the store? Oh my god. And

And then I got that for Austin.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

There's penises in this book.

And I'm saying, wait, there's some nice penises in this book.

And then March's additional gift was just a basketball.

Oh my God.

Because I thought you deserved it.

Wow, they'll get some big old penises.

God.

And then even if you didn't get to choose a chocolate ball,

I'm just going to thank you.

Oh, thank you.

Don't tell them, you can keep them.

Yeah, they didn't notice it.

These are some balls.

No fucking idea.

That's a lot of penises.

Some of them are like scary.

I'm like, wait, you can't just say that.

Don't get out with the long hair.

Hey, do me a favor.

Oh, you know what it kind of does look like?

Do me a favor.

Oh my God.

Show it to the camera.

Show the camera.

Show the camera.

That one's for Gabe.

Gabe.

Move around a little bit to make his job part of that, bud.

Throw a borrow on this.

Throw out the episode.

I'm just going to be like, see if you don't miss it.

All right, let's see what we got.

Well, can we all open it up at the same time?

Oh, at the same time.

Oh, my vibrates.

What?

Oh, shut the fuck up.

Is this Gucci?

Oh my God.

Cutie Cinderella.

Cutie Cinderella.

I know.

I'm so nice.

Cutie.

What is it?

Cutie, what the fuck?

Oh, mine's a dragon.

What you guys get?

Basketball.

Oh.

So I got you all matching bracelets,

but then I added charms that I thought represented.

Oh, my God, I don't even know.

It's a plane.

Oh, it's a plane.

Oh, my God.

I'm glad she didn't give that one to Hassan.

Oh, my God, I'm never gonna play that.

Oh, my God, could you buckle it for me?

Yeah, you want the lead to the tag off?

I need it.

Yeah, of course.

Oh, you want the tag off, so awesome.

Cutie, this is honestly.

I thought it'd be cute, because now you all match,

but then you also have your,

but if you want me to take off the charm,

I could take up everything.

I know, I'm never taking it off.

Because I didn't know if you'd want,

if the charms would be annoying or not.

Actually, let's do left arm.

For audio listeners.

And then I got, Hassan, I got you a bigger one,

because I didn't know if your wrists would be too big.

Oh, my God, look.

That's what she said.

No, I didn't say.

But I just thought you had bigger wrists.

I got nervous.

I will say this, for those that are listening via audio,

cutie got us three matching now.

You're actually perfect.

That's four.

Four matching.

I work here too.

And then I put a little charm on them.

Beauty, you don't have their own charm.

You've truly done yourself.

So Austin has a plane, we'll have a dragon.

Marsh has a skull.

And then Hassan has a basketball,

which I was the, maybe did I get it too big?

No, that was cool.

Cutie, look at this.

And also, if you don't like the basketball,

I can switch yours out.

I just want to share my Gucci chain here.

And it kind of matches the other Gucci, have on.

Well, you want me to put on.

I was deciding between doing Hassan's either.

And I got another Gucci chain to it.

Okay, he's bragging.

I was deciding to do a train or a basketball,

but I went with the basketball.

So then people want to make fun of you.

And then I also thought of adding more charms to him.

But then I was like, maybe I'm doing too much.

And then I left it.

Well, I'll tell you what, cutie, Cinderella.

Are they too big?

No, they are not.

They're just big enough.

I'll grow into it.

You can always, we can shorten it pretty easy, I think.

I'm telling you, once I put on that holiday 15,

that wrist is going to shrink.

I might have just assumed all of your wrists

were way bigger than them.

No, cutie, I love them.

No, Mike is perfect.

Cutie, cutie.

What if I get stung by a bee or something like that?

And then it still fits perfectly, you know?

I think they're a little big.

My bad.

No, cutie.

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me, cutie?

I would never have this in the way.

Anyway, Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, Tom.

Merry Christmas.

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year.

Okay.

Now we're going back to March.

I am.

I'm talking about the month.

That's right.

All right.

Well, what a way to start that.

Thank you.

That was so sweet of you.

Real prize in July moment.

I love that.

Because I just thought something I was expecting.

Oh, surprise, man.

Yeah, surprise.

Yeah, it was a good surprise.

It was a really good surprise.

It was a really good surprise.

You know, yeah, I woke up today.

I had no idea I'd wake up.

We go to bed with a Gucci necklace.

Or a Gucci bracelet.

Yeah.

On my red too.

Wow.

I know.

But I take them off for another one.

Yeah.

That it will match with.

I do.

You think it's too much to have to be a Gucci necklace.

Oh, I thought I was being a little flashy.

Guys, anything exciting going on in here?

Oh, my God.

Are you kidding me?

I am so excited to be here with all of you.

Yeah.

Every week is exciting, right?

When I'm here at the Fioran pie cat.

I put 400 bucks on Timothy Shalame.

Oh, you bet it.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm powered by Oscar.

Robin Hood.

Wow.

Wait, you can bet on Robin Hood.

Yeah, that's not good.

I just.

I also lost a bunch of money on the Grammys.

I didn't get one prediction right.

Yeah.

Hold on.

Let me be clear.

I know advertising gambling to children is probably not great.

I think more children should gamble.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Okay.

I think they should learn any young age to lose.

I think that that would be great.

And if they learn to lose, then they'll never bet again.

That's right.

Or play with guns.

Because that's what I do.

I always lose.

I go in to Vegas and I always do.

That's why I will make my children drunk drive early on.

So they get better.

Get it out of them.

Yeah.

I mean, objectively speaking, there probably are more skilled drunk drivers.

That's right.

Yeah.

But you should drink sober.

Like they probably can't drive anyway.

So you might as well like learn drunk.

Right.

If you start them on dope young enough, then by the time they're old, they'll have to be

using their toes to inject, and then they'll run out eventually.

Well, I really make like a flinstones called fence stones.

Yeah.

They'll run out of viable veins by the time they're old, and then they'll be successful.

They're all thrilled.

We're thrilled anyway.

We're thrilled anyway.

So gambling for children not great, but can we gamble?

Well, I was thinking, Kiti, two more words is so emotionally taxing on you.

Just give me the results next year.

And let me put down a fucking bag on every category.

every category.

You know, I'll bring in.

How does this alleviate her tension?

Nothing, but I'll just make him rich.

I'll buy some money.

Instead of trading, though.

Yeah.

But then I could be like Martha Stewart.

Will you just flee?

So here's a deal.

What amount of money would you be okay with just fleeing your life to never come back?

It's okay.

Donald Trump Jr.'s in charge of the regulatory agency.

So you can just cheat.

Would you do insider trading?

Would you guys be down to flee?

Yeah.

I know.

I'd flee.

Your voice went up a lot.

That was a higher register.

Yeah.

I mean, I'd flee.

I'd flee.

But I'd want enough money to like buy all my family a house.

So it'd be like a lot.

And I'd want them to nice houses.

I'd have enough money to bring everybody that I wanted with me.

I think I'd want like a hundred million.

Where would you flee to?

Probably London.

I think they have an extradition clause.

Yeah, fuck it.

Okay.

I'll see you're going to gamble again.

Moscow.

I don't know wherever the fuck I can go.

Where can I go?

Where can I go?

Oh.

One of the few places.

Is it an extradition clause?

No.

No, they don't.

That's very strange.

You think that we do so much for them.

You think that maybe perhaps they'd have that.

Right.

No.

Why would that be?

We're all so pumped.

I don't know.

Okay.

Well, I guess I could tell you.

Yeah.

I mean, what is BDS?

Oh, is BDS?

Fuck.

All right.

Is it going to Israel?

I wouldn't kiss the wall or anything.

No, just in general.

I would just live there.

A man and an ex.

I mean, what am I going to do?

I'm escaping.

Where the fuck can I go?

There's only so many places.

Oh, China.

I forgot.

I forgot.

Wait.

I don't know.

I had to escape.

Yeah, your food.

That's the whole point.

Yeah, but I'm just fleeing from being perceived.

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

You're avoiding us.

Oh.

Yeah.

Well, I don't know if I wanted to.

Yeah, you got Moscow, Pyongyang.

Well, think about it.

If we put a million dollars on every category, how many categories do you have last year?

34.

Depending on the odds, some of the long shots win.

Dude.

We could probably clear over a hundred million dollars.

I.

But what would there be so much money being paid?

There was a lot of money being paid last year.

Easy amount.

If you were in there, you would be paid.

Yes, it was bad.

You'd take long jobs?

Yes.

This is like, I haven't said this anywhere.

But like, I'll say it doesn't matter.

We sent them a cease and dissonance and they were like, hmm, doesn't matter.

That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, because Donald Trump's union is everywhere.

I told them I was like, you know how many people see like the insider trading issues in this

situation is so crazy.

Like so many people know their results beforehand.

Yeah, yeah.

production team of like a hundred there, like what do you guys think in and they're like,

oh, if you want to let us know if anyone's insider trading, you can give us names and

we can make sure that they're held accountable.

I was like, kill yourselves.

That's crazy.

No, they will not do it anyway because like every other week there's like, like there

was a massive insider trading scandal about like when the shirt of Hormuz will close,

when like the Ayatollah that was assassinated by the American government and this really

government.

There's always just like one random account that makes a massive bet and wins a million

dollars.

Really?

Yeah, it's just because in this administration, especially out in this administration,

there's just guys that are in the room that are like, what'd you say, we're killing them

right now.

Okay.

Like and then they just immediately go, I'm going where South America.

Okay.

I mean, you're surviving down there tough to avoid law enforcement, but you know, you

can change your identity a little bit.

Well, I'm getting in with the cartel.

Oh, okay.

That's directly CIA.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you're just going to be a bag man for the American government.

Pretty much.

Okay.

And that's a cool rags, the richest story.

I guess rich.

I mean, more riches.

I don't know.

Well, I'm not going to Tel Aviv anymore.

I'm going to Shanghai.

Oh.

Yeah.

I'm going to work at the Ritz Carlton.

Oh.

I don't know why I need to with a hundred million dollars, but I don't know.

I'm just going to.

I love the game.

To just work.

For the hobby.

Yeah.

You're going to switch sides.

You're going to work with the enemy.

And I don't mean China.

I mean, like, you're going to be on the other side of customer service.

Oh.

Oh.

Let me clear.

The people that I negotiate, you're going to be the manager telling people to fuck off.

I've got a good relationship with everybody I negotiate with unless it's a healthcare

situation, which by the way, I'm in a current dispute.

We know.

Yeah.

No, I owe a couple grand to this healthcare place.

And I messaged them and I was like, no, I'm not doing it first of all.

What?

Insane.

Well, here's the deal.

This is what I think is the PSA.

It would be a documentary made about your life.

Like the man who conned private health.

You know what?

You know what I figured out?

I was thinking about I was like, how can I justify this terror that I'm inflicting on

the multi-billion dollar healthcare industry?

Yeah.

You know what I said?

Well, I can't help but notice how health your gut is.

Oh, it is quite healthy.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

That's right.

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calm slash fear. You know what I said if they're fucking with me they're not

fucking with you. Oh, I think I think they're still fucking people. I think they

are fucking everyone. But think about at least one person is being not because

if I'm taking up their time, I'm taking up enough time to maybe at least one

person is not if I'm if they're have to deal with me one person out there one

person out there is not having to pay their bill. I'm imagining a world where

they set up a special task force for Austin because he's done it so much. He's

run up a tab to the tune of like a million dollars. No, it hasn't been that much. I

have insurance insurance pay some but basically I've talked about this

before but the no surprise billing act. It's still in actually Donald Trump

sided into into effect. But it's basically it's basically it's basically an

act that protects consumers against you know insurance companies when you go

out of network. Yeah. It's from being a balanced build and I noticed that I was

in an in network facility and they were not they were balanced billing me and so

I said I just want to know how you interpret this federal law and so I'm

going to dispute with them. Oh, yeah. That's it. You're you're a hero. Thank you.

You're a civil rights icon. Well, I think that if we all we all get

together and we find out against the big multi-billion dollar

fact, then we can win. No, I this is going to really pick up steam. Well, if

we all do it, I'm telling you, if you if we're all a pain in the ass. Next time

I see Bernie, I'm going to be like, drop this Medicare for all shit, dude. No,

no, no. Have you considered if you consider just stealing doing, you know,

a small claims court related incidents considered theft. Well, no, I believe in

Medicare for all, but in the meantime, it's time to do what the OE, whatever the

fuck they did in World War II, the OES, OEM, the OSS. Yeah. Anyway, like the CIA

exactly. Exactly. That we I thought we established they were we've gone over

this. They were they were explaining how to fire bomb, you know, buildings. Yeah,

we're not going to get into that again. We're going in circles. This is our

sabotaging dog day again on the fear of positive sabotaging, you know, industrial

output. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you. Not annoying customer service. I'm sorry,

cutie, Cinderella. Are you dissociating? No, I'm locked in. I'm learning. I'm learning

the multi-billion dollar health care industry. I'm learning about the OSS. But yeah, I got

nervous when they said that they were going to bomb California. That was soldier faith.

It popped up on my citizen app. And I was like, not cool. Popped up on your citizen. Yeah,

I was like, that's not cool. They were like ducking cover. And I was like, what? How's

that going to help me? Well, I was a little nervous to do ducking cover. Yeah, popped

up. That's crazy. I was a little nervous. What would that do if I got bombed? Yeah, you're

not getting bombed by Iran. I would prefer if for the record, if I were to get bombed,

I would prefer not being ducking and covering. What do you rather take it? You get found

ducked and covered. The people in Palm Page is ducked and covered and then you find

that. You know, you know the one guy who got caught. There's one guy jerking off in Palm

Page. And he got frozen like that forever. Yeah, that sucks. No, that's awesome. No,

that sucks. No, he's like, no, he's a legend, dude. I guess we want to be talking about

the thousands that died in like normal positions. And we still think about. Okay, so next

time I get the duck and cover morning, I'm going to shove something up. I've a giant

of crazy like that. I'm going to crazy stuff show something up there. Oh my God. Yeah,

honestly, the best part of that. Did they just leave him like that? Well, what do you mean?

Well, he's he's ashes. He's not. He's not real. Well, I know, but like, well, I know,

but they did they they could have at least moved him to him. No, everybody died for miles.

Is he still there? Yeah. Well, it's like a museum now. Oh, great. Yeah, they put

him in a museum. Well, like the whole town is like the whole town is covered up. So don't

you think that's I mean, I feel like he would want to be immortalized. No, not me. What

is it? It is really funny to think of you panic shoving something in your vagina. And

then you don't get bombed. Oh, that would not be ideal. Just eggplant. I was thinking

no, yeah, it had to be something. Oh, blank. It doesn't even ditch it. It doesn't go in

handle. I'm crying, man. Yeah, because then they find you later. And it's just like, what was

she? What was she doing? You think? Yeah. Damn, I would I feel like your lies cutie Cinderella

braved to the last moment. Women always talk about how they would peace standing up with Dix.

I would love to. I know. One thing we never talk about. I would store things in my pussy.

If I was a lady, it's a little uncomfortable. Yeah, even tampons are a little uncomfortable.

Yeah, right. But I feel like I feel like you could just do your butthole.

Just put stuff up. I already have a butthole. I don't put stuff up there. She's got a point.

Yeah, put your fucking money on it. Then there's all there's a douche. Oh, damn,

he said you got a poopy butthole. Yeah, you got your vagina also has goo in it.

Yeah, but it's a little goo. It's like, I don't what do you mean? Don't make that face. It's just gooey.

What are you gonna what are you gonna bust out of there? Wait, wait, wait, what I'm what is it?

What's it? I don't know. It's mute. It's very similar to what's in it. It's like a lugey.

What? You've seen a pussy. Yeah, I've seen one. But he hasn't. He's like in federal interrogation.

He's like, what? He doesn't remember the good. I mean, it felt like a little wet, but I thought it

didn't know. I thought it was water. You're joking. I couldn't even do the back. Shut the plug up.

He's trying to win gay cred. He's trying to win gay cred back. I mean, like, what's the

song homosexuality? Yeah, you can't put. Yeah, you can't put it back in the tube, brother. You

already, you're already fucked. Yeah. Speaking of Austin being gay, we're watching the Oscars

earlier. I've never seen him queen out this hard. This man is so excited apparently for a devil

worse product. Who's not excited? I saw it in theaters. You know, you want you already saw it?

Yeah. The first one. Oh, but that was before I know I was I was in 2006. I went with my aunt

and my mom think like you're gay. I don't know. I don't know. My mom just thought I was not

interested in girls at the time. Right. And why is devil worse? Wait, wait.

So important to me. Devil was part of this not a gay movie. Oh, it's a fantastic film.

Wait, why? So gay movies gave me fantastic. Well, that's someone I am. I just figure out

he's gay. No, I just been like liking that movie doesn't hide it. You're no, what? It's a fantastic

film. Mars you. It's a really good film. You willingly share that information. Yeah, because I love

that movie. It's a little gay. I mean, look, it's it's let me tell you why I love that movie.

Right. Fashion. I love the fashion in it. I love I love the I love Miranda Priestly in the

continuous of Miranda Priestly. Right. And Stanley Tucci wake up six. Yeah. Flowers in spring.

Ground breaking. Right. I had a coworker like that. Yeah, it's somebody. Back in my design days,

he was incredible. He actually texted me the other day. You really love devils were

worse. I love dev wars. Yeah, dude, he was I can quote the movie. He was freaking out when

Anna went to her and Anne Hathaway came out. Great moment from the Oscars. Wow.

They they did it. It was a subtle promo for devil wars. Proud of a pro only. There was literally

an ad right after. Hold on, but it was very sad of the trade. It was very. Hold on, hold on,

let me let me let me paint the picture for those of you. Stanley for those of you who

subtly ran a five-minute trip. For those of you who weren't at the Oscars, okay? We weren't

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So Anna went tour and and and and halfway. They walk out. You can kind of hear if you're paying

attention. You can hear the band in the background playing a book.

So this was like a string. That's the devil's product.

There's a string. Yes, but they're coming out. Anna went tour.

And halfway, right? And then they just do a thing and it's subtle in the beginning.

He's not subtle in the beginning. Anna was for costume.

Anna went tour is. They were presenting costume.

So Miranda precies inspired by Anna went or anyway. So you think nothing of it, right?

They're just doing two ladies until until I think for everyone thought that and I'm always

on your side. Okay. But the minute I saw them together, I think I would put two and two

together. Well, but that's to the that's to the train die. You've got a very trained.

You're right. I do. I do have a train. So they come out.

They say that about me. They come out. Okay. They come out.

Train die. So the first award. You're the first award. It's great. Nobody's thinking

anything. I mean, think of the devil's product. Yeah. We're like, why is Anna and I went

to our the Oscar stage for the first time literally ever? Yeah. How confusing.

So this is this is the kicker. Uh-huh. You're not thinking about it until she goes.

Anna, do you want to read the next award? And Anna turns to and how the way it goes. Yes, Emily.

Get it. Get it. Get it. It's her character's name. Yes. From well, it's what she wouldn't call

her in the first movie when she was referring to who she actually she or other assistant.

Anyway, her name was Emily. Brilliant advertisement. And you didn't even know it was

happening until the ad played right. I was so confused. Yeah. I was like, what is going on?

Why did she say Emily? Her name is not Emily. He didn't. He didn't know shit about it.

There are a few women that can be unapologetically a cunt that I will always forgive.

Yeah. Okay. Anna went towards one of them. Yeah. Yeah. I don't care. I do not care what you say

about her. I don't care. She's a diva and I love her. It's amazing. Mariah Care. Same with Martha

Stewart. Oh Martha Stewart. Love that. People will say she's a bitch. I'm like, I don't

fucking care. I don't sound crazy. Who's Anna would tour? Are you fucking kidding me? I have no idea

who this is. Anna went tour on the ummm. Awesome. Who's Anna went tour? Do you know? No, no, don't look it up.

Wait, actually, who's Anna went tour? Yeah, actually. Awesome. Who's Anna went tour? Are you kidding me?

Go ahead. Editor in chief. Okay. You vote. Did you go?

He didn't finish the Google. No. He did not. You didn't talk like you didn't know for a second.

I was very concerned. I was a little worried. Oh, she's an icon. She's an icon.

She's inspired her. Her her existence is inspired the Devil Wars product. Oh,

and all the girls. So she's a horrible master. Yeah, monster person. Yeah, you know, you know,

one of my favorite lines is she's awesome. You know, any favorite lines is I use it on Christian

sometimes. What when he gets pissed at me? Sure. Look at him and I go.

Million girls would kill for this job. That's actually really easy to say your partner.

You know, this is why I said this was the key. I forgot to tell you this because I didn't

think of it until now, so I didn't really forget. Sure. I was with some some people this weekend

and a few people they know I do a podcast because of they watch Hassan and

they're like, oh yeah, you do the podcast with Hassan. And then they were like, oh,

and the funny hot one. And I go the funny hot one. Oh, and they're like, yeah, the gay one. Oh,

and you were the funny hot one. I know the funny hot one. You were the funny hot one. Oh, my god,

were they. No, no, no, no, no, no, they they talked about will later. But they were they

said the funny hot one. I said, I said, who? And then they said the gay one. Oh, wow.

And then they were talking about you. I needed that. Yeah, I thought you did. This is a

structure. No, yeah, I got blocked on Grindr. Oh, wait, totally. Yeah. Somebody just sent a photo

of myself and they're like, block and I was like, oh, fuck you. Wait, the whole app. No,

from a guy. Oh, yeah, I needed that. I needed that boost. We all got blocked on Grindr.

You know, it seemed it seemed great. Not different strokes. So that's exciting. What do they say about me?

That they they don't really follow you, but they like they like your vibes.

I mean, that tracks for a lot of our fucking audience. They don't follow me either.

They do have a partner, but they're both cute. They're both cute. Yeah, I know. Okay.

They're cute. Don't worry. No, it's fine. There's a lot of cute people in the world.

I won out last night with Will really. Yeah, it's a big deal. Uh-huh. One of our

buddies from college or one of my buddies from college that that will became really good friends

with as well when, um, you know, we lean towards the microphone when he puts the ear supposed to.

I know we, uh, when we both moved out here, uh, it was his birthday. Yep. Uh, so, you know,

I never really go out. He invited me to his new place. He had like a bachi. The dude was throwing

zucchinis at people's mouths from afar. It was crazy. I kind of understand where you're coming from

now. Like this guy was just going, uh, and then, you know, from where he, where I'm at to

march his mouth. What do you mean? Where Austin's coming from? What do you think? Cause I like

second dick? This is what you mean? Is that what you mean? No, I've never heard about. No, he

loves. I do like that. I thought you were talking about me getting my second dick. Oh, like

catching it in his mouth. No, he's talking about the time you said that you loved the

bachi. You said that. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. When did you say that? I feel like I know him. He

would never say that. I mean, he likes the bachi, but he likes it internally. I do love

him. But like, if someone's like, let's go to her bachi, he's like, yeah, I like her bachi.

But like, no one's ever said that. I don't think you've ever said it. I don't think so.

You're there. Somebody needs to pull it. I don't have it. But he has specifically said

Benihana. Yeah. Yeah. He's like a temp and he ought to tell her that I was drunk and you

literally wanted to like take his license away. Yes. What? His license. You want to. He would never

complain about someone like that. I didn't know her. Yeah. He's never complained about someone

service. Anyway, I understood why you actually are a big fan of Hibachi. As we all know,

I used to be clear, you don't, it's not about Felatio. No, no, it is nothing to do. It's about

what you think I said. You like a bachi. Why would it not that famous? Goat is throwing zucchini

into someone's mouth. Maybe you do is sucking your cock, Austin. I don't know is zucchini is

very fileically. Yeah. It's like, yeah. I don't know how to be like. I don't know what you're

talking about. He's like, you remember the onion bucket is like, why? Cause I'm gay,

Yeah, like a butthole because it's shit like like I would never think of an onion like that's ridiculous. Yeah, I would never that's ridiculous

I don't know what's a weird shit where you want your penis all chopped up. That's a weird

What we are not the ones who made this question

All right, I get it. I get it. All right. You're talking about a Hibachi. Thank you for clarifying. Yes. I would have bought you for prom

But I

Inside took my cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber

Because the the the Benny Hanna guy still threw shrimp at his mouth

We stabbed we stabbed chopsticks into his hands

What I was with a group I was funny as hell

Everything for him we stuck it on his you just want to think your life couldn't get more really I thought it was funny

Like today

No, I didn't but I did bring him in funny girl in high school. That's a tough. That's a tough rap

What is women are so cruel?

Well, you heard about my high school experience

Like some of us over here have always loved Benny Hanna and we're not bandwagoners. I love that. I always loved it

I love Hibachi when they cut up the fucking

We've always said it anyway back to your story back your story back to your story

Sorry, we did the Hibachi thing. We'll show it up. We a bunch of our old friends like, you know, they're getting they're having children now

It's crazy. Yeah, some of our friends are having kids

Anyway, yeah, it's it's a while. It's a crazy thing to start wrecking. Well, we are

It's definitely agent it's agent appropriate what we are doing actually no more time for me

Anyway, we leave. I don't want to ask you guys. I feel like this is kind of an Austin thing to do

Like what ended up happening

We're at the house in the hills very nice, right? And he just like kind of ends the birthday party

And he's like all right guys. It's time to go to the next thing. It's the after part and he's like he should be a promoter

So we're like, oh here we go like classic whatever

Um, and we get in the car and we're driving to this uh to this second party to the second party at a nightclub

Let me guess you all go in and then he makes you perform the whole play of Wizard of Oz

That would be a very cutie thing. That's an Austin thing. No, okay. I probably made way through while we're driving

They're like so whose event is this like what's the deal he goes guys? I have to tell you

It's my ex-girlfriends birthday. Yeah

What he made us go to his ex-girlfriends birthday party

And it turns out she's like a comic and all of her friends are comedians

Yeah, and it was just all like Instagram comic people and like you know young stand-up

Did you see Matt right there?

Should have beat his ass if you ever see Matt right him in the face

Why you hate it? We don't like that. Yeah, we hate Matt right. Yeah. Oh my beef with Matt right funny. You'll ask

It's about time. Yeah, I guess they're

It's about time you asked me about Matt rife Matt rife dated Brooks go Phil and on the cancelled podcast

Who's Brooks go Phil she was of Tana's friend Tana friend of the show

And and then they're secretly dating right nobody freaking knows. I don't even know whatever

Matt rife goes on no one told me

Yeah, no one told me I found out on podcasts

But anyway, and so no one she hasn't told anyone their secretly dating Matt rife goes on a podcast and he starts talking about

Women they're like what's your type of girl like what's your aching girls?

He said his aching girls is an outie vagina

Meanwhile Brooks at home sitting there with her outie vagina

And she knows she has an outie vagina what she supposed to do about it

And he's sitting there talking about how gross like like very crassly outie vaginas are

Please specifically mention her or like was his idea of an outie vagina potentially different than her

Also, why do you know

Fields pussy? Yeah, she said she told us that's we know too much about each other

No, I haven't any I don't know what that is

I can't be honest. I've never heard of a vagina referred to as an outie me neither until broke. I like that she did that they all out. No

To a certain degree. I mean they're always there not really. No. Oh, I just the one like lips

Lips like the middle part some people are lippy like the bun in the hot dog. Oh lippy like the hot dog sticks out of your buns

Yeah, people got a packed in yeah, but either way it's fine

But he's talking out outie vaginas specifically and we know he's talking about hers because they're dating at the time and he's being an asshole

We don't know we know

He is version of an outie vagina might have been way more out. No, it was her vagina. Okay. How do you know that she said it?

I'm gonna take the safe road here and take you. He's right. She said he was being mean to her. Okay, and then um, I don't remember what happened

They broke up eventually and fuck Matt rife and he's not funny and I stand on that and let's come on this podcast and you could come on

I don't think I actually liked him. You just thought he was hot. No, we both thought he was out. There's a clue. There's a clip. I changed my mind a lot

Yeah, and honestly it was three years ago. We've grown also. I it's crowd work clips funny

I watched a special for 10 minutes had to turn it off and if you want to talk about that

My wife you can come on this podcast. I'll put you to face

Because he was like outie vaginas like that with women, huh? Like yeah, it was weird. Get back in the kitchen

Yeah, everyone's like what is going on?

It was so weird

Anyway, I don't know brok and she's engaged now

But Brooks go for you know, I'm 10 toes down. I'm 10 toes down

We brok come on the pot. We love your vagina. Yeah, we love outie. We love outie vaginas on this

Yeah, she talked it and I just want to let you know this would be actually March could you go because I'm really

Now I don't know if it was brok so field pussy. No, I just don't know if it was broke that dated him now. Oh my gosh

So we just talk about Brooks go feel

It could have been someone else

Brooks go filled mat rife

Did they date?

Thank god, I should check that earlier on so what you were okay, so he wasn't at your party

The story is that we went there. There were a lot of there were a lot of hustle and I beheads. They're great

It was it was a chaotic scene for me because I'm I was just so 30

Four years old and and so out of place

But I thought this is like a very Austin thing that our that our friend was doing to bring you guys to my ex's birthday

Yeah, yeah, it's like a bunch of young people that are dancing

Trying to be no, yeah, it's no, it's more normal and a gay. Yeah, it's more normal in a gay

Why would that be because because gay you are taking ownership over this I clocked I'm grateful

I went to brunch my gay get my ex boyfriend this weekend. Yeah

With my gay

Yeah, we went to lady Gaga together too that I remember yeah, we sure

That's less normal than like if I was at a party you were sleeping in the same hotel room no sex

Well, I know that

But I'm talking about your friend being like it's my birthday. Let's go to my ex's birthday now

Strange right? It's weird. I agree. We thought so really were there any cool comedians there?

Oh, yeah, you guys don't know any of them. You didn't know even one

You don't remember one person's name you met last night. Yeah, yes, we do. I just don't want to

Yeah, that's good point. Yeah, okay. Yeah, we're not we're fucking yeah, and if you were there Matt rife it's on site

Yeah, yeah, Matt rife was there. He told me he hates you

He was like she's got outy vibes

Yeah, and I was like yeah, she does bro. You're right and we daped it up. Wow. Yeah, I'm getting his facial reconstruction guys number

So yeah, I'm gonna get my bucle fat removed. Yeah, I'm gonna we're both coming back looking like handsome Squidward

I do we shouldn't really do a South Korea arc where we just

Handsome Squidward. I do it. I would do it for the memes. Just totally redo my face

Doctor doctor

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Bad habit. Oh

Oh my god

Oh

I just keep falling asleep randomly. I think you have narcolepsy. I don't know

Where do I go to see a doctor? You either have narcolepsy or you're an infomaniac. I'm not sure the difference

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Yeah

I want to look like

You want to look like Laura Luna. Yeah, you get you get march pull up Laura. I know what Laura. Lumer looks like I don't know

She looks like I need the cutie Cinderella to see be careful saying that looks like can walk a bad thing to say

That means they'll come there. Have when you say it's like a signal. Oh really? She looks like jeez or any would

It's too late. You already said it

Oh, oh my god. She does look like jigsaw. Yeah, she's my number one fan. God. There's just I don't think there's a surgery to even reverse that no

No, that's your number one fan. I'm a shit. She's my number one face. She's trying to get me deported a lot

She's trying to get my uncle deported to yeah, I'm trying to do both those things too

My uncle Laura

That's right

Yeah, Laura Lumer Laura. Let's get him from the inside the internet as you guys know is filled with a lot of things one of those things

It's happening right now is

Clavicular no, no, are we circling back here?

No, no, this is new meta. This is a new met we don't have to talk about this

I no, no, okay, I don't even I don't even pay attention to this shit

My algorithm is filled with a lot of things and I don't really care about this

Is just gay shit. That's why this is clavicular on his algorithm

No, first of all clavicular

He's gay

Wait really that's so exciting. No, we don't know that for sure you might be but

Gay Twitter has started to investigate him as being a potential homosexual this entire story started when clavicular

cried real tears real human tears

Okay, well he cried real human tears when he was delivered a a burger. Oh, I thought you're gonna say at birth

I was like oh

Everyone's fucking yeah, unless they're like a dead baby. Yeah, so they slapped the baby when it comes out you to cry

So they want you to make sure you're alive. Yeah, yeah, true for life. I think you long as go. Yeah, yeah

So anyway, he got delivered a burger. He got delivered a burger in the burger had cheese in it

And he started crying real tears and everyone's like oh

Like he's so he's like uh, you know, he's got this

He's got

No, I think it has something to do with the stack vegetarian. Yeah, so he's got a burger

Yeah, and so he cried because he's a burger of a cow

She's cutie you said it burger because it had cheese in it. Yeah, but it could have just been in cow burger

And she said that's double sad. I was like doesn't tolerant. I think we're all on drugs. You're fucking idiots

He has no it's it interferes with his stack or something anyway, he starts crying and everyone's like

One one viral tweet said he's got that sadness that you only see in an Eastern European gay porno

That's what it was off to the races

Have you ever watched Eastern European gay porno? Yes, check on her

Check on her quick to draw on that that was crazy

That you were you had that loaded in the chair. Yeah, you know, it's Eastern European very famous. Yeah, okay

I don't watch it, but I've heard of it. Asked and answered. Okay, that's gonna be that's gonna be tough

It's just like his Hibachi thing, right? I've never had a body time out real quick, and then we'll time back in

Could I have an idea for the patreon? Okay, what if we just do a karaoke only episode on the patreon? How fun would that be?

We just do karaoke sure we could do I would I would do just a few maybe a few songs

Yeah, it would be fun like karaoke themed patreon. Just one one maybe a few so just like for fun

Not but I would maybe you should get those gochujang wings again. I'm okay time back in time back so clavicular so clavicular

So anyway after that speculation start rising of course people start analyzing older

Clips and in one of the clips. I wonder if March could find this

Clavicular is at a bunch of different nightclub style establishments, and he's always dancing with women

You know how come no one thinks I'm gay and

To be fair. I would love the attention. I do. Oh, I think

Judy, what are you talking about the intention of the gay investigation? You love Billie Eilish all the time

Billy she saw it my life. I feel like there's nothing to invest. I feel like there is a world that I come home one day

And my Tesla's just missing and you and Caroline have gone on your beautiful gay life. Caroline's on my type. She's too

She's too traditionally beautiful

So do you do you wait a minute? She's too traditional beautiful female type. Yeah

I said it before Caitlin Clark. No, not Caitlin Clark. Sorry. Okay. That was me

Page beckers. Oh love her Phoebe Bridgers. Love her Julian Baker. Love her

Oh my god. Are these women more? I've heard you talk more longingly about women than you do about men

You have not heard me talk about Dylan O'Brien

Um, yeah, so that's the clip. So here's the clip

So play it. So this is another. What is this? This is the other speculation is how he interacts with women

And he's an example. So basically he this is a part of the meta. Okay. He goes to nightclubs

Right, and he steals the girlfriends of other guys there and the other guys are like

Is that really what he does me?

Why are you stealing my girlfriend and stuff? Anyway, play the clip and full screen it please because we need to see every

You know, we need to go frame by frame. He's like, no, why are you talking me girlfriend? What the fuck like that's gonna be fake

This has to be fake. Yeah, it is fake. Okay. Anyway, but this part

He also gave her a little a little

He did this right listen listen. Okay

He did that. He did a little baby pucker. He also he does look very gay in this

Yeah, I don't know why he could walk down the street to twist if he's in Miami

And if it's right, you guys are always

You know, let's get a sleep yourself

You know what fucking woke I am

Even though

Vicular

Ultimately is problematic. I still don't like to speculate about people's sexuality. Yeah

Well, I do I don't go fuck

Yeah, the more problematic the more I speculate. Yeah, and I have the past because Austin. Yeah, right

No, I think if I'm homophobic, you know who you know who I love to speculate about is fucking Lindsey Graham

Okay, that's there's no speculation. Yeah, Lindsey Graham is gay as fuck. Yeah, there's no speculation on that

Yeah, I love I love to speculate all you want to these fucking demon conservative motherfuckers. Right. Oh

Donald Trump or gay

You know, but Donald Trump is gay in the right way. Yeah, I think I think

Maybe it's because

People just want to spoil their secrets because they don't want to let them have anything that's holy left to them

Because they're so evil. I think it's rude. So it's like let's spoil their secret because yeah, that guy literally didn't he hail Hitler

Yeah, we don't want him like that's yeah, respectfully. What what

What he doesn't want him

What do you like me? Why are you laughing like that? Yeah, why are you laughing? Because earlier when we were having this conversation

Austin was like we should bring him on the team and I was like he hiled hit. I forgot about

He didn't know about that. That's where we draw the line. Yeah

Yeah, oh look of course we draw the line well before then well before yeah. Yeah, we don't want him on there. Okay

Austin was very excited to bring him on team. No, I wasn't I have first of all

I'd have to consult a lot of people and a lot of people it wouldn't pass. He wouldn't pass

Anyway, but the reason why people are speculating is because he gave a little kissy poo on the cheek to this lady and it was very like it was like a

I think for me it's fun to speculate on people like this because they are

so

In many ways homophobic right and when he's not anymore. He's not he decided to

He went to New York Fashion Week and after going to New York Fashion Week, he decided LGBTs fine, I think

Oh, that's what he said he said LGBT is fine. I think what about the plus you guys see that the Pope came out against

I think look Maxine. Oh

No

The Pope did I think the Pope made an anti-lux maxing. We need to he basically said something along lines if we need to accept ourselves

You know, I previous Pope was better because previous Pope would have been

Freeze Poe would have been a father looks maxing previous Pope might have been gay. He was I I was using a certain term that

That most homophobic people wouldn't even use I think there's an ulterior motive here

What is it?

Well, I think Jesus Christ was the original frame maugra

True, he did he there were a lot of there were a lot of frame cells if if the crucifixion of Christ happened today

The caption would be Jesus of Nazareth frame logs

Roman Legionnaires. Yeah, I agree. Yeah

I mean his jawline was snapped. Yeah, good abs. I'll be honest with you nice long hair

His diet must have been a lot

You know, brother drew died. Oh, yeah, here. Let's read the pope statement about look Maxing. It's 48 pages

Go ahead and read that caption for us marshy

The real body is not truly loved

Just okay, that's what

Just I do mean we'll read it

Yeah, the Vatican just made a pretty hate page document taking on cosmetic surgery culture looks maxing in the trumpestetic

And Pope Leo approved every word the sharpest line the real body

Is not truly love. Yeah, Pope Leo's big on Audi vaginas too. Oh really? Yeah big time. Oh, it is funny to have an American Pope

I mean, it's still doesn't it rubs me the wrong way

Yeah, you're Muslim. What? No, there's nothing to do with that. I can't give us shit

I feel like you have a pope am I wrong?

You know, they have a pope in the cars movie the third one really yeah

The pope mobile which makes you think who else did they have?

Mm-hmm

Who else could they wait wait with the itola?

They do have a pope. Oh, it's a pope mobile and a pope mobile. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah, that's incredible. So

There is a Muslim

Makes you think what was JFK writing and there's multiple Muslim popes. There's the itola's

And then there's the

But the itola is kind of more recently right? No, no, there's like a shea

Cleric that is like supposed to be like the grand cleric the pope actually visited him the previous pope

Do some more and then there's also a sonny one which is like supposed to be the caliphate

Which is more of a political position, but I guess so is the pope kind of when you think about it

But the caliphate is not a thing anymore

Where did they what what happened to him? It's the Ottoman Empire. Oh

Right, I don't know about that, but

um

What I was saying is not that like like the pope

The pope's existence. I'm agnostic on I don't really care

But I think it needs to be I think it needs to be

Are you even Catholic? Why are you getting

Are you arguing with me on this? I just think that the pope shouldn't have a Chicago accent

You need him to be like oh

I spoke of the god. Yes, am I wrong? No, I mean you're not wrong. Yeah, he's like

I was like when the pope goes out. He's like yeah, don't move the biz out of Chicago. I'm like no

I found the one fucking heaven

Yeah, no, it's fucked up. It's you know the rest we got to get right into this just look maxing shit

Yeah, that's what that's how you get at this like crazy like weird American shit that he's getting himself involved in but Pope style

I know I kind of I mean they already turned Jesus looks like he was born in Beverly Hills anyway, right?

I was just fucking

Well, not the real Jesus, but the one that we made

You know what I mean? The Mormon was blonde. Yeah, the Mormon one was born in Salt Lake City

Yep, yeah, the Mormon one looks like cuties in derella

Yeah, we're related. Yeah, the Mormon one looks like one of the women that cuties in derella is attractive

Locke kind of looks like Julian Baker. Yep. Yeah, do you think anybody ever jerks off to the photo of?

Yeah, definitely don't act like that's not take a lot of that sacrilege

There's like this weird Mormon porn where they're like in the temple wearing their garments and they like slowly

I've seen that what I've seen that I've seen the stage like they're in their garden

There's a lot of other things that they're in their garden. Yeah, yeah, there's like there's also missionary porn

They're like on their mission and they're like hey elder

Yeah, you think they're you think they're like so they're actually Mormons that are making that porn no

Like former Mormons. How the fuck did the actors? I think probably like a writer. How do they get the garment? Well

They're not they're like costumes. They're not real garments. I haven't walked them close watched them close enough

They're just not sexy. Yeah, there's like when you get married in the temple

You have to like I forget everything you have to do

But at one point you have to put like this green bib around your waist to symbolize like Adam and Eve and there's all sorts of weird stuff like that the

Palm prongs. Yeah, so they're getting fucked in the green bib. I think they take it off. I don't know. I've never watched it. I just know it exists

Anthropos. We have your house. Anthropos. You're gonna be watching it together. I don't want it

Might even be here tonight. I'm going to the vanity fair Oscar party. Are you oh will you market for us network?

Do you have business cards? Can we send you with a business card? You're going to the vay

What you're not inviting wait. Who's your plus one? No one. Why do you have a plus one? We're airtight

Okay, I'm just I'm just upset next time. Please take March or will out no problem. You would be fine

But you forget I've done again. Hold on. I'm out now. Uh, we have 10 minutes left. You guys want to get calling?

Pass on. Yeah, yeah, we do call it. Yeah, we have a new segment before before we get into that segment though.

When did this happen? When are you going to be home so I can know when to unlock the door?

We'll unlock the door. We can just use it here. I know I can't go to bed unless I know everybody's in the house safe and sound.

So you could have just said, I don't know what I'm going to come back home. Are you going to text me? Are you kidding me?

Okay, no, let's set you up with some things. So what is your goal of the night, Hassan?

Um, this is good. This is good. My mom wants me to meet, uh, uh, uh, Chloe, uh, the hamnet lady. Okay, when you talk to her, what are you going to ask her?

I'm just going to tell her my mom is really no, no, no, I wanted me to meet you. No, no, you're going to say you want to come on the fear and podcast?

Yes. Do you have a guest list?

No, my god, we have nothing. What do you mean? Okay, so here's the here's the thing about the fear and podcast right now if you're wondering.

Okay, I want everybody to know something. Yeah. I, if you've seen an uptick in homosexual guests and drag queens and, and people, the LGBTQ community, it's because I have been booking like crazy, but the problem is, which I don't think you see it as a problem, but our podcast is going to be very gay.

Unless we balance is happy. That's not a problem. I don't think it's an issue. If I see Pedro Pascal, I'm literally not asking him to come on the pod.

All right. Who would be your number one for him to ask, though, just so we put it out there. Just put it out in the universe.

Dylan O'Brien. Okay. Why? Why not? That's great. You just said you're horny for him.

This is not good. You imagine. What if it's incredible? And I leave my wife and kids and we go start an apple. This is not a hall pass, the opportunity to tell.

Yeah, but our chemistry would be out of this world to be the best performing episode ever. Yeah, wait, I literally, if you hear me,

Trixie, Trixie, like a hive mind. Trixie, dad on an iPad. Trixie, can you hear me? Trixie, this is a public service announcement. Please join us on the fear of

Brian. I have a boyfriend. You'd become the whole time. No more queer guests. He didn't say that. You said you wanted to

piece it up. You told me, Hassan told me he said it's getting to you. You know who I want. Yeah. And then right after that, you

said, if you see Dylan O'Brien, you'll ask him. Yeah. No, who I want. Give me Timmy. Okay. Give me Timmy.

Timothy. Timothy. Timothy. Shall I, man?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I feel like he'd be my supreme. I could. We could get to him. We could not get to him.

I say something. I say something. I think Timmy would vibe with us. I agree. I think for that episode, we would do.

I want to talk to him. I didn't intimidate him with my sexual prowess. I think for that episode, we'd probably do.

Yeah, just me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. QD I want to talk to him about it. Call me by

your name. That was one of my things. I can't have my seat. Actually cut that.

Wait, what? What? Cut the part where I said cut that?

Um, okay, call me by your name is like problematic. It's problematic in the book. I didn't like it for the

problematic. I just liked it for the cinematography. Right. Okay.

I didn't like it for the problematic. I didn't like the problematic part. I didn't appreciate

that the age barrier. Why is that the age gap was ridiculous? Yeah. I was like, can we

make this a little closer? Yeah. Well, he was watching while he was watching. He was

going like this. No. Mm-hmm. Mike will be Jordan. Oh, I don't think we can get Timothy

John. Yeah, he did. Paris Hilton. I don't think you've already talked to Paris. Talked to

her. I tried, but she didn't. I also, I've talked to her before. They're friends don't

answer. Ask her again. I don't feel like you're not going to have me. No, she's not going to

get her. You guys are, you heard guests are so unreal, Lizzie. Hold on. Can we have a Republican

on the podcast? Just for fun. Like, let's act. Can we have fucking John Hoyt? No, no, no, I want

what's the point? East was the gay one. No, not the gay one. Who's the gay one? He got

he got in trouble for five. What are you talking about the fucking the New York Republican

congressional rappers? George Santos. George Santos. That was on Fortnite Friday. Yeah,

bring us George Santos. You're just we're not. He's not going to get the vanity fair. Okay.

Um, could you get Amy Polar? I, we could get Amy Polar. David Korn Sweat.

Superman. That would be great. Daniel Tosh. I agree with that one. Great.

I mean, he's a great. All right. Well, let's move on. Okay. So,

you guys gave me a dog shit list. Only will give me good name. That was crazy. He gave you

one name. I gave you like 10. I gave you three. Yeah. He gave great names. He gave two.

He gave a corn sweat. What was the other one? I don't know. I came up with one other one.

Trixie Mattel. You didn't know that's not Donald Bryan. Yeah. Oh my god. They were

all over the house. They come sure of out of control. They were both out of control all day.

What is happening? I don't know what's happening. You're not even talking to your mic. Oh,

hello. All right, guys. We're going to the karaoke episode. No, no, we're not. We're not done

with the episode yet. Cutie. Oh, we have a new segment of the fear and podcast. And I've

been able to do the jingle. I made up a jingle. Oh, my god. I'm so sorry. Here we go.

We got a new segment. All right. It's called Collins. Where you call in and we listen.

And then we commentate on what you called in on. All right. And I'm going to make up a

jingle right now. Ringling ding. Ringling ding. We thought it was a pitchy.

What? Let me show it over. I was embarrassing. Ringling ding. Ringling ding, ding, ding, ding,

ring and that's a fucking song. Oh, so catchy. Oh, yeah, I like what he did. It's something

different. I like what he did that. I was good. Anybody watching and wondering that the

patreon already knows this, the discord knows this, but we opened up a submission form

for our patrons to submit stuff. That's what the calls are coming from. So and then, yeah.

Anyway, styles is when I'm bringing broski. We could get Harry Styles. Okay, that's that's not

a bad one. All right. Pull it up.

Benny Blango. Somebody asking if they're the asshole or get a bad person relevant to last week's

episode. Here we go. I needed to tell me if I'm being a bad person or if I'm being funny. Okay.

Story of my life. Yuck. There was a yuck yuck at a school that I just transferred away from.

I don't go there anymore. Anonymous posting gossip. I will go on to the yuck yuck still,

because all you have to put in is your phone number. So you can still tap in like your location

isn't necessary. So I'm back in, you know, I'm not at the school anymore and I will just be like,

hey guys, I have some leftovers that I'm not going to eat come knock on this door and people will

come knock on the door and then people will like get mad and I have no consequences for it.

Um, am I a bad person for that or is that like, um, is that like funny? I don't know.

I don't think you're a bad person. I think you need new hobbies though. Okay. I was going to say,

no, that's definitely you should stop doing that. And, and certainly because cutie immediately

jumped in and defended it, you should know never to do that again. Wait. Can I be honest, not a bad

person, however, painfully boring. If you're going to do fake yick-hack post to get people to go

to do it. Oh my god. Tell people you have chlamydia. What? Yeah. Tell people you had chlamydia

and you were at like a popular spot that there was a party the night before and you're like,

I accidentally made out with everyone and then posted on yick-hack. That's terrorism. Oh,

you can get chlamydia from making out. What can you? What sex? You know what? Can you get from

your mouth? Well, you can get chlamydia from making out. Yeah, you can't. You just have to really

get it in the chlamydia of like the throat. Okay. Stop. No one asked. I've never done that. Okay.

What mouth ones can you get? Now, this is a, the, convincing someone they have at STD is a horrible idea.

Okay. Am I bad? Okay. I'm saying like you make a post and you're like looking for friend to watch

full reruns of young sheldon. We have a group must come in costume on Wednesday and then

someone shows up in there in full young sheldon costume. Like that's funny.

Find out. You are funny. Find out. You are. Find out. They're convincing someone that they might

have a potentially dangerous ailment in their genitals is not funny. Getting someone to show up

and young sheldon cosplay is find out what you're, find out your enemies address

and and put things on Facebook market place. Oh my god. My ex to that to me in high school.

Actually, just kidding. I did it to him. I forgot. Let's go the next one. Next call.

One more call. And then we'll do more of the pictures. It's been a disaster.

We're never doing this. Kill the segment.

There's a follow up that people wanted an answer to you. Okay. We got, we have a few. Let's just

run through a few of these. Got it. We have time. Hello, fear and podcast. Hello. This is

Little Man 2, 3, 7, 9. I know this guy's voice. Patrons of the fear and patreon, of course.

Oh, it sounds like me. I feel like I know this guy question for you all today. Well,

not you all. It's specifically for two members. And that is will in his own. Oh my god. Kill

myself to hear the story. Fuck you, caller. This is weird to ask. Yeah, it is because why am I

asking this? Why is this a story? But what what is with this cut to porn story? We never got a

resolution. Oh, that's true. A kung fu bug game. Hey, look episode. So I would love to find an

African sit back. We never ended up watching the kung fu porn, which we should. Behind the

payment. Obviously, we can see why we never got to this topic because the two members of the pod

don't come up. However, the resolution of this is that Hassan saw something on the internet that he

thought I would love, which was. If they're not the center of the tension, they can't handle it.

Maybe we could convince this caller he's dying of AIDS or something. Cuties and Narella style.

Okay. So I found this video on the internet that he thought I would love. And it was wrong.

But here's the part. It was like, it was like an earworm that he couldn't find again. He could

not find the kung fu porn. You're like a child. They have that. They have that at a detriment. Go ahead,

go ahead. Go ahead. I feel like I've been nothing but helpful. You hear that, Dylan,

Brian. Dylan O'Brien really values. He values you as an asset on the podcast. Thanks, Dylan O'Brien.

I thought so too. Well, could you finish the damn story? Well, could you finish the damn story?

You're taking up too much airspace. I hate you. I do so much. I do so fucking

back. I am 88 and I'm a fucking glue. I built you back up as a funny guy. That was me.

Delaware's product. Hey, Emily, I fucking made you bitch. I built you from the fucking

train. You want to have a party we made on you ever in a black ass fucking blockade. And yeah.

I couldn't find it for a week. That's an any. Anyway, that's worse. And so it was plaguing him. So

he finally found it at seven in the morning. And he said it to me while I was in bed with my

girlfriend. And I opened my phone seven in the morning, new light breaking through the window.

And there's a fucking Kung Fu master doggy style railing a girl while I'm here on tree tops.

And my girlfriend looks at my phone and it's way more peculiar than usual. And she goes,

what's going on? And I said, I thought I would love this. And it was seven in the morning.

And it's a great story. Fuck you guys. But also was I wrong. No, you were right. I love it.

So we, so we identified with the poor name. Good segment, Mars. Thanks for the calls, Mars.

I like it. I thought it was on that note. We thank you so much for watching this episode

of the Fear and podcast. And I just want to let you, I just want to let you know that we

appreciate you. And if you saw we're a little off that's because we all did, we all dropped

acid before the show. Because we're so excited for the karaoke episode on the Patreon.

I don't want to do karaoke the whole time. What? We're going to do a little

karaoke. You know what? I'll do it with you. All right. Thank you all for watching.

And please subscribe to the Patreon. Also, we're going on to her. That's right.

All right. You don't have to sit with him. You can sit over here.

Okay. So I'm where she's lying. Play it. Play it. Play it. Play it. You're starting it.

You got this Christian. Oh my god. You can start it. Okay.

Here we go.

Yes. He's men who seem to know my crime will surely come a second time one day more.

Okay. Keep going, Hassan.

Good job. Oh, Christian.

Oh, my god.

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