The Psychology of Emotional Abuse and Coercive Control: Rebuilding Self-Worth with Deena Korda

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In this episode of It’s an Inside Job, we take on the often overlooked reality of domestic abuse with Deena Kordt—advocate, author, and podcaster. Drawing on her lived experience of emotional and psychological trauma, Deena explains how non-physical abuse works, why it’s hard to name, and how it can reshape a person’s sense of self and safety. She shares her path from a strict conservative upbringing to surviving an abusive marriage for more than three decades.

We talk about the patterns that keep abuse hidden: silence, “invisibility” as a coping strategy, and the slow build of control. Deena breaks down how hyper-vigilance and people-pleasing can become survival habits—and how they often persist even after someone leaves. Her reflections challenge the myth that abuse must be physical to be real, and spotlight the manipulation that makes emotional and psychological abuse so difficult to recognize and describe.

Deena also offers practical guidance for supporting someone who discloses abuse: validate what they’re telling you, protect their confidentiality, and show steady, non-judgmental concern. We also address common misconceptions and stigma, including the fact that men can be victims too—and often face additional barriers to seeking help. Deena argues for more open, informed conversations so support becomes easier to access and shame loses its grip.

The episode closes with three concrete actions for anyone experiencing—or witnessing—abuse: tell a trusted person, document what’s happening, and build a clear, practical exit plan for when it’s safe. Deena’s message is simple and hard-won: reclaiming your voice starts with recognising your worth, and none of this has to be faced alone.

Life Changes Channel Podcast:
https://open.spotify.com/show/7lvBpq6n1Otj42xcKTk5VX?si=6cbe25a55c704260

Websites:
https://DeenaKordt.com/
https://LifeChangesMag.com/

Deena Kordt LI profile:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/deenakordt/

UGlowGRL FB page:
https://www.facebook.com/UGlowGRL19/

UGlowGRL IG acct:
https://www.instagram.com/u.glow_grl/?hl=en

Life Changes & Divorce IG:
https://instagram.com/lifechanges_divorcemagazine_ca?igshid=NzZlODBkYWE4Ng%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

Life Changes & Divorce FB Pg:
https://www.facebook.com/lifechangesdivorcemagazinecanada/

Life Changes & Divorce LI Pg:
https://www.linkedin.com/company/divorcemagazinecanada/

Life Changes & Divorce YouTube Channel:
https://www.youtube.com/@U.Glow_GRL

Shift Happens Talk Show:
https://deenakordt.com/shifthappensshow

Books:
https://deenakordt.com/makeshithappen

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