Accidentally Healing My Trauma Through Orgasm | Mama Gena #545

0:00So this book this is a very vulnerable personal exploration It's intense, right? Can you hold me? Yeah, absolutely probably my most personal vulnerable What's the part that makes you Clench up the most when you think about people reading it and hearing the story? I Think Let's say I I came from a family with a lineage of abuse and so my way of making my way in the world Was what could I do for other people and how could I be of service and that kind of Marked the whole trail of my journey of Creating the school of womanly arts and becoming a thought leader and impacting hundreds of thousands of men and women with my books and teachings

1:02And you've linked that you link that to the traumatic elements. You think that that helped create that Tell us about the psychodynamics Okay, because like I never felt worthy. I never felt whole. I never felt like Of any value except in that I could be of service to people and so That is how I lived my life is how could I serve and that's how I got my I don't know My ego got rewarded or I felt my that I was worth my place on earth And this book is about me When I stopped doing that and then I had to Turn in a different direction of going inward and facing all the things that Quote unquote saving the world or transforming people or places or things

2:05No longer I wouldn't able to find my validity there I had to go within and I had to start working on myself and all the broken that I had left behind being some kind of crazed heroin Called mama Gina You know the paradox of that is that In going in you're still actually doing the same thing. You're still impacting people with this book about going in Yeah, but I'm imagining this is coming from a different motivational architecture. Yeah. Yes. I would say so I would say so I think I feel very resonant with How I'm when I look at the world right now. I see that so many of us are in brace mode or in traumatized really because of the climate

3:07financial uncertainty the fear of AI caretaking elderly parents Children families job insecurity I'm not sure that I or Anyone I know has really recovered from COVID and the impact and the way our culture got fractured and There's such an epidemic of loneliness right now As never before I'd think people don't know quite how to reach across their loneliness to connect uh and so when in regarding myself and regarding the circumstances and I thought okay, I am Not in a different place but I have Tools that I used to deal with to kind of Heal myself from the trauma in which I found myself

4:10in 2019 when I first began this part of my journey And I thought okay, I'll share those uh it with the hope that it could Perhaps be of some service to other people because it's so human connection Is so vital and so important and I see that there's an aspect of my own Humanity that I was able to heal and I thought well at least I could Open that door and see if it could provide some kind of Pathway for another person and that pathway is uh You know I basically healed myself accidentally From trauma with orgasm And that's one of the things I love about your work is you know so much of Dealing with trauma is picking at the scab let's talk about it talk about it talk about it. Let me live it relive it

5:16You know and regret is to re-greave let's re-greave this thing over and over I mean it's important to grieve it and cry the tears feel the feelings but To continue to pick at the scab and you're like now instead of picking at the scab make small circles around your clitoris Exactly that might be a little better use of your your fingers exactly exactly Because you know and it's so funny, Aubrey because like there's a way in which My journey is kind of repeating itself from where it began because I started this journey Probably I don't I never asked you this like when did this spark of aliveness To be a leader arrive in your storyline Because for me it arrived very early it arrived when I was like five years old same Can you share with me Yeah, I mean I would watch movies in here stories and there was always some master that would find some child that had a gift that they could give the world and the child would always be like

6:20No, not me and I was like pick me Pick me. I'm ready. You know, where's my training montage like I will be buffy the vampires later now You know and I was I always felt like I was just waiting for that and then I realized no master was coming I had to go make my own way But I've I've always felt that and interestingly, you know, it's I'm in a also an interesting chapter now where The values my value architecture my field of values Peace is becoming like a stronger value and I'm trying to reconcile Like how to be a peaceful warrior because it was really strong on the warrior side and obviously poetic but poetic was like scars and passion right it was still very much in the fray Yeah, I'm like, but what about peace maybe hmm and how do you be a peaceful war because I don't want to get rid of that part no But I want to like integrate a little bit more fascinating. Yeah, I love how we intersect

7:23You know, we kind of intersect we float apart we come back together, you know, it's just like beautiful and remarkable and I Cherish that warrior side of you Like I said I saw it you're making in the world. It's like But they're fucking building shit for people like so generously And so it will be really pleasurable to see where all this goes next But my calling Called I think probably because I I was so traumatized my You know, I had abused in my family Violence from when I was a baby and so when I was about five. I remember I Looked out the window one day and I was like wait a minute. I'm not looking forward to the day anymore What is going on and I thought oh something must be wrong with the world I better figure out what it is and that's how it landed in me and then around that time I had this experience of the goddess coming and sitting on my bed now like if

8:23What do you mean by experience? It was a vision wasn't a mad nation. It's a key question, right? I am lying on my bed. I'm kind of scared because I can feel this presence And the way it feels in my body It's like somebody is pouring warm butter scotch through my being like it's almost like it's a feeling of pleasurable radiance Aliveness that I wasn't feeling remember in my real life because I was always embrace mode and scared And so I can feel this feeling and I can see in my periphery there's like this beautiful feminine something And so I will turn to look and the thing vanishes But she would come back Every night or every so often and then I'd feel this feeling in my body And what I my conclusion was oh There are goddesses and I'm Jewish so we had none we just had gods and Moses and Abraham and all those dudes Well, I mean there used to be something asherah was in some of the old

9:25You know old pottery shards and old scrolls was always wife. Yeah Yeah, and then and then she then it went like kind of underground and I made a post about that old thing But it's very interesting how that that path kind of went because used to be Yahweh and his asherah Yeah, like and then the the feminine was vacuumed from those traditions So she had a statue in the temple of Solomon and that is so cool and they and then Thinking Josiah tore down. Yeah, there you go And it's wasn't just her. I mean poor Mary Magdalene and so on and so forth so Well actually, I mean this is very interesting to me and I want to get back to your story So we're gonna close this bracket after I say it okay again, but I think actually we may have to go the veneration the veneration of Mary Magdalene arose because actually The Holy Spirit used to be feminine. It was father mother And child right like that was the Trinity and then eventually that became you know through actually

10:26translation of language So it started off as like Ruhach which was like a feminine feminine spirit and then it then it became Pneuma in Greek which was neutral and then it became spiritus in Latin which was masculine and so She might have just gotten taken out of the story simply through translation from was a little more vicious in that right, but fundamentally like The words themselves. I think did a lot of work. They truly did and did you ever read Leonard Leonard Shlains book the goddess in the alphabet He talks about how language just like completely Devalues the feminine and that is actually a masculine construct and it's you would you would love that book. I'll send that thing to you The part the goddess that I'm talking about is kind of predating any of the Abrahamic religions is like Pre you know, I'm talking 30,000 50,000 100,000 years ago where it's like the goddess

11:34That runs through the wind as it caresses the world the goddess and the sunset that undresses the sky we are the goddess were recycled wolf fur and sharp teeth and hummingbird feathers and do drops and rose petals That's what we're made of exactly what the fuck you got talking about exactly It's all of matter matter matter mother. Exactly. Exactly. And it is that erotic that pulses through everything through every part of our bodies that we and especially through The patriarchal culture that we currently live in and all suffer men and women suffer deeply from this culture Disconnects us from these bodies Yeah, that run this erotic aliveness That is the same as some of the women or sunset. Yeah, the first split from the mother is the Cartesian dualism Which says mind is separate from body like to be connected to your body is to be connected to the mother

12:38Body is the mother Like you can have a penis and still your body's the mother Penis is made of mother that is right. You know what I mean like we got we got a lot of things Confused but if you split yourself from the body split yourself from the earth Yeah, and you can reside in this false masculine bubble right which is Such a dangerous bubble to reside in as you know From that brief convoy you and I had last night about where what you're pursuing now but the um to go run back to my story I I Had I registered this Feeling almost like an erotic feeling for a little girl That I related to the goddess I knew somebody must worship her somewhere so I went to all these synagogues and churches and Had my friends take me to their places of worship never could find her So I hung up my little whatever Sherlock Holmes hat and stopped looking But fast forward I take this pile of broken that I didn't know was broken

13:44I just thought I was whatever growing up in the suburbs. I moved to New York City I can't eat I don't even have the confidence to audition because I'm so shattered from my past and I go to audition for a acting school and they tell me you have Great actress, but you have no sensuality in your body Meaning I had no goddess in my body, right? I had no aliveness I was trauma and so they said if you want to be Get cast in roles that are your age you better take some Learned about sensuality or you never it's never gonna work for you So I leave there and I sign up for a class called basic sensuality taught by Lafayette Morehouse and while taking that class They ask you to create an experience of pleasure for yourself Which I'd never done before I only knew how to take care of my family take care of my parents take care of my boss do my school or whatever

14:45and when I Lit candles had a beautiful Pellegrino Created this beautiful experience took a bath and then the exercise was look at yourself in the mirror And when I looked in the mirror I saw the goddess But it was only because I created a pleasurable experience for myself and when I saw the goddess in the mirror I was like holy shit motherfucker women don't know they are divine We've never been taught that the holy lives in us I have to tell Everyone this But I know nothing so I instead I moved into that Lafayette Morehouse for five years which was a Educative Institute and also a sucks commune And I learned to I learned the practice of the extended massive orgasm because that's all they teach is female orgasm there And this was an accident because this is a little more than basic sensuality thing

15:46They were downplaying what they were really offering It was their entry level core Little did I know it was going to save my life and change my life because here's the crazy thing right I went there because I wanted to be an actor And I wanted to learn about sensuality so I could be in or have a part on Broadway What would happen was Because of the practices and the classes I was taking that started to just take this shattered traumatized body and run orgasm through it regularly But it wasn't sex it was a practice It was a hand genital practice So I'm just getting free flowing orgasm I don't have to have boyfriends or husbands or you know Go out for a drink with somebody. I just can have practices and so We don't recognize that this is like a medicine cabinet that the pharmaceutical industry has for decades been trying to replicate with SSRIs

16:49Anti depressants and all that stuff and it's all in here so by accident I'm turning on oxytocin oxytocin is the hormone of bonding So instead of being an isolated little hermit I'm suddenly wanting to connect with people it starts to Like settle my amygdala which is the fear center of my brain and I'd been operating on fight or flight for my whole You know, I was at my 20s at this time My whole life I was fight or flight But the oxytocin pouring its chemistry through my whole body Quiet that fear so suddenly I'm ready to bond I'm not scared of people and then there's the endorphins which are natural pain Relievers they're like a morphine like Substance that we have within ourselves and then there's the dopamine which is a natural anti-depressant

17:49Now when you're low dopamine Which a lot of people are the symptoms are depression no motivation anxiety But when you start getting this dopamine from this pleasurable experience The depression lifts you and it's also called the hope chemical So suddenly you go from depressed. It's to hopeful And then there's prolactin and prolactin helps calm It um helps you sleep now sleep is super important because it's sleep where trauma repair happens and so accidentally I flooding myself with the chemistry that heals me And so I go from the most shy repressed creature That you could ever encounter so invisible To being like mom magina

18:50Because after I left my School the more house I ended up after Maggie was born Starting the school of womanly arts So it was the chemistry that healed me Which is what that book is about Because when we can access that goddess chemistry or The pleasure medicine cabinet the oxytocin prolactin and orphan etc What happens is even when a traumatic event is occurring you can find Your love of your life instead of hopelessness And I think that's just so amazing that it turns that that it's that we have the chemistry within to create that It ain't easy in this patriarchal world's culture but It's possible

19:51What do you when you say patriarchal world culture? Yeah, what exactly do you mean? I mean that masculine and feminine aren't values in a similar way, you know If you look at the leadership in our world most of the leadership roles are taken by men Do you know I don't I don't I don't agree that men equals masculine and women equals feminine either So I think like the gender like is I think the greatest king of England The two greatest king of England's kings of England were Queen Elizabeth and Queen Elizabeth the second Yeah, they were kings yeah, they were in their masculine role. Yeah, they had a pussy. Yeah But that doesn't mean they weren't masculine. Yeah, so I think it's for me. It's important to disambiguate Women and men in masculine and feminine because some of the most masculine people I know are women Yeah, and I gotta tell you I have one of the biggest cocks I know

20:52You know, I it's like just as big as my pussy if not bigger And I think you have you know you have such a beautiful feminine side Yeah, you have a great pussy over you I mean I do I can receive you know, and I can step into that and yeah, and even what what I was starting with this this Desire for pieces is an aspect of the feminine Like the peaceful warrior is Hyroskamos. Yeah, you know is finding that finding that balance Within I think Lin Twist told a story that she says was a story that um she learned from Cherokee Nation, but I've also heard the similar story in the Baha'i faith which is that the um The bird of paradise has two wings a masculine wing and a feminine wing But currently the feminine wing is very shriveled And the masculine wing is very developed and that is a metaphor for how our culture is right now

21:58And so the masculine winning is flapping but can only fly in circles because the feminine wing is so shrunken and not fully developed So I would say That's what I mean that let's say um The values of the feminine are not even known or honored or celebrated inside of the culture currently and I don't look at that as a problem You know something caused by men I think it is a Mutual condition that women can liberate themselves by falling in love with the nature woman instead of Trying to man up let's say Yeah, I think I mean, I think one of the things that perpetuates this Idea is I think we live in instead of a

23:00When I look at it in the language I use instead of a patriarchal world I look at an aromantic world. So aromond is the rose accrucian Demon who's known as the reducer right like he that's at least what I call him You reduce everything to the measurable Impact that it can create so measurable worth how many followers do you have well how much money's in your bank? How much can you push how much can you yeah and you measure everything yeah And the feminine represents something that's ineffable immeasurable yeah and uniquely beautiful and powerful But not measurably powerful in in the ways that the aromantic world likes to categorize things So that is ultimately skewing things Towards a masculine orientation because masculine is about the penetrative force how much force Can you actually apply to penetrate and measure that force mm-hmm And I think we really are in a world that's way overvaluing those masculine attributes which come from I think an earlier

24:00Aromantic reductionism of the ineffable beauty that is life the aeros of existence itself. Yeah and We even do it at we're in in our language right We teach our kids each other Oh To answer the question. How are you? And the word is okay. I'm fine We don't actually say the truth or allow each other to feel the real currency Of how we are we don't want to you know, it's almost like if Human being was 88 keys of emotion which we are at the very least We're only taught that it's okay to play middle C. Oh, I'm fine. I'm okay and that Kind of turns a human being kind Put some in formaldehyde Instead of the full range of feeling

25:04Connecting to their aliveness that every everyone is and so we kind of reduce the landscape for being alive and it doesn't allow Mm-hmm It doesn't allow penetration for the erotic And and when I say erotic I'm not talking about sex except if we're talking about sex and then we'll talk about sex But I'm talking about your native aliveness right And for me I am like I'm on a crusade for people to connect To their exquisite Holy aliveness whether it's in You know the most heart-breaking darkness or the most radiant light but You know She is everywhere. Yeah, I feel that would you say that this is true that if you shut off your ability to feel

26:04What feels kind of ugly then you shut off your ability to feel what is beautiful? Yeah And the degree to which you can own your darkness is the degree to which you can own your light Like if I can own like yeah, I am like a massive Brat bitch cunt sometimes Then I can also own I am so exquisitely attuned sensitive generous You know, it's like that full range of my feminine gets to exist And then I'm not victimized by any of it Because and I kind of love all of it And one of the things in that book that I've talked about for the first time is all of these different goddesses Because we have a lot of stories about gods But I don't think the stories of the goddesses are as well known and they are fascinating Needed like sometimes it is time to evoke

27:07Collie whose She just Burns it all down. She is the Hindu goddess of destruction and sometimes it's just time to destroy something That should not continue whether it's a business or a place you're living or a relationship that is no longer serving It's time to end and Collie is an energy that will if you can hold that space within You can draw something to an end There's I talk about Freya that was a goddess that I drew on after my divorce because I was literally new nothing about business. I was just a hippy chick with a dream of Creating the school who only are changing the world and turning on the world But I had a seven year old that I had to support and so You can't just like You have to like get your hands dirty and put your warrior gear on and

28:12Learn about a spread sheet and a P&L statement and what it's gonna take To pay for private school and make it happen, you know, and that Freya energy Push parts of me forward that I never would have experienced without her You tell the story of Aphrodite and psyche Oh Let's let's go over that story because I've you know, I've read a lot of the mythologies and actually that was I hadn't read that and that was that was a cool story and I think let's let's unpack that and it has to do with Cupid with euros, right? See here's the thing about goddesses Sometimes there's just not very nice and So Aphrodite is the goddess of beauty and she just really doesn't like competition I don't know if it's right or wrong. It just is she just doesn't like it at all And so psyche is this human person that gets born and she's so devastatingly gorgeous

29:18That everyone is like psyche is so beautiful I think she's more beautiful than you Aphrodite and Aphrodite gets crazy Enraged so she gets her son and she gives him a he's Cupid and He's gorgeous also being Aphrodite son and he's God and so she he says she says here take this elixir and give it to psyche when she's near a large Pig or hog Swine a creature a swine like creature and give her a few drops of it and then she's gonna fall in love with pig and then I'm gonna have so many laughs because that's gonna happen and so he's doing a thing Erosus finding psyche but he accidentally pricks his own finger with the elixir Oops and he sees psyche and he falls desperately in love with her like desperately

30:19and so he whisks her way to his mansion in the sky and They and explains to her that I will only come to you at night. You can't see me But you're gonna have this blissful life over by yourself. So there she is she's uh living there and she's blissful But she has two sisters and they say to her what if he's a monster? He could be a dreadful monster you need to turn on a lamp at night and just find out because this is their jealous That she's having all this fun and great sex with Erosus. I mean, can you imagine Sex with Erosus. That's got to be severe. Yeah, that's you put that game So Anyway, she does like the lamp At night which she's not supposed to do she sees how gorgeous her husband is a few drops of oil fall on him He wakes up. He's heartbroken that she's betrayed him And so he separates from her and he leaves her alone by now This is

31:20She needs to have she needs to get him back Because she can't bear life without him because she's so in love And she's married to God and she's and so What what I love about this part of the story is that you know Love is not easy, right? And do we have it within us To cross those very nearly impossible bridges or impossible task that love requires of us at various times You know will we you know the first Task she's given by the the very Infuriated Aphrodite and by the way, I thought it was cool because Psychie went to Aphrodite and she says I'll do anything to get your son back and so Aphrodite says I'm gonna give you three tasks that you will never be able to do But if you can do them you can have my son back The first one is sort this entire room filled with grain two different grains At that art You know you they're little millet grains and we and you can't separate them

32:25And she says you need to do this by morning and so Psychie's lost but the birds come and they help her Why I think this is coolest? Sometimes we get to places where there are tasks that we cannot do by ourselves And you almost have to call upon forces greater than you like it's your faith That is going to create an outcome that your mortal body could not find and so Psychie's cool because she Praise The birds come and they do the whole thing for her And then of course the next day she has to get the golden fleas from the killer ram and She gets help with that task and then the final task that she's given is she has to go get some beauty potion From Persephone who lives in Hades Now you're not supposed to go to Hades unless you're dead

33:26Very bad place for a live people But she gets given advice about how to do it and the only thing is she's not supposed to consume anything while she's there oh Oh, no, she's not supposed to open Once she gets the beauty potion from Persephone she's not supposed to open it until she gets at all But she can't resist because she wants to be beautiful when she reunites with her husband So she opens the box and she falls into a dead faint and dies But by now Eros has watched her show up for him With all her heart again and again and again and again risking everything risking her life For this love that she lives for And so he takes her to the gods on Mount Olympus and they restore her and then make her goddess So it does have a happy ending and then they end up having a baby named valabtua And so they have a little girl

34:28So that is the story of psyche and Eros and I think that you know I think in You know in our world we're supposed to fall in love and it's supposed to be about chemistry Or meeting the right person But what I love about this story is it's what can I invest How can I be of service to this love? How can I give my all and surrender to this love? And I think that's so beautiful and in needed needed storyline in metaphor because love costs And I think it is the most worthy And most exalted Way to spend one's life in service of that love And so I love any stories that will give me more inspiration. Yeah And it's also beautiful too that she failed in her last mission but because of how

35:28How earnestly she devoted to this bath that there's no judgment from you but all you failed though So you're not exactly perfect. Yeah, it was like embracing the flaw. Yeah, as we're all gonna eventually find Flaws in our partners so true And we have to love them all the same and then restore them to their fullness You know regardless of if they fall that's right and that's that's important I want to go back to the jealousy part because this is something that I think from masculine and feminine natures is really very kind of difficult Feeling that humans have and then jealousy can kind of solidify into envy and then envy then gets really dark when you're getting pleasure from somebody else's pain It's like you want to see them fall and it feels good to you Yeah, see them fall and this is a big symptom of the disconnection that we feel where we actually are happy When something goes wrong for somebody else As if we're not all on team mother connected to the mother connected to the same life force and the father like it's

36:35It's very it's very toxic I think I agree with you and I think it comes from you know because Of this thing that we're describing which is the Almost that goddess chemistry Which is I think the goddess chemistry is the same thing as orgasm chemistry It's the oxy-tosin and dopamine like when you are so deprived right you have none of this chemistry you know you're depressed or On edge or in brace mode or you're in your sympathetic nervous system your Your fight or flight you're not in your parasympathetic because you don't know how to access this medicine cabinet right Then when someone else has something you want you're like I will cut them down

37:36They will see that my darkness doom will befall them you know as opposed to let's say when you like What I've noticed in my students that have taken my work and they get kind of drenched and soaked in pleasure and you know Stuffed with pleasurable experience Because that's the architecture of my classes Then when another woman has something that they want they know oh shit that desires coming to me soon I can tell because I'm getting a little jealous that she's got it So I know that's next up on my desire list She looks at it from a place of her own fullness like everything is accessible to her But it's because she's connected to her pleasure or her goddess So it is a big differential even with all the emotions the way um, I mean Like this morning

38:38I I was having a meeting with my team and I'm just launching my book and Aubrey everything went wrong not just one thing everything and I'm like and so and then Um, I have a lover who uh teaches with me and so I called him and And I was like all of this is shaking down he's like well Why don't you just grab some lube or just put your just put your hand over your pussy right now and I'm like uh, that's not the answer I want to hear I want you to agree with me at my team is You know they're on the wrong and he's like no, no, just stop And just put your hand over your pussy right now be here with me and just do that And what do you feel? And so suddenly instead of going crazy

39:40Music of course when you when you launch a book and a brand new project a lot of things are gonna go wrong It's Part of life But I can stay plugged into the crazy Or I can plug into the fact that I'm a living breathing alive Beautiful turned on woman that has a body And that has somebody who cares enough about me to remind me that I am centrally alive Even when I'm frustrated or losing my mind or something How much you know how much unnecessary wasted grief would be saved if you're in conflict with your partner And eventually you're gonna get to the sex but you just spend three hours from a mindset of being frustrated and arguing and Lidigating over these minor points. Yeah, and then you have sex and you're like wait what what we'll be finding about yeah Anyways, you know, and of course there's the shadow to that right like you you don't want to create the tension and then release it and create the tension release it just As part of like a pattern to get you guys to have the passion

40:43You know to have that kind of sexual experience, but nonetheless like The faster that you can get to that level of pleasure and connection then look at the problems to see if they're still there Exactly exactly and it's such a Mind fuck for most because we we have like a culture that loves problems We'd love to have problems. We love to share our problems We love to analyze our problems. We want to talk about our problems. It's just like we're so problem-centric Instead of pleasure-centric, which would be a lot more efficient Yeah Yeah, absolutely absolutely and I think you know one of the Probably the deepest cuts of if you want to call it patriarchal ideologies Is the shame that's been placed around pleasure and it's it's caused so much so crazy Pain and trauma for the world that we've placed this in this naughty box. It's so true like

41:45You know even You're not gonna be dealing with this for another year or two or three, but Even how we teach our little girls about their body parts like we're willing to say to our little boys This is your penis before our girls. I mean what does your sisters parts get called when you were growing up? I don't think they got called anything that's I think I think they just got ignored That's the thing like literally when I asked like a room full of a thousand women Would your parts get called half of them say nothing and then the other half it's like koochi and kitty and knishe and Miss kitty in front bottom and From bottom say some of them say um Oh vagina It's a vagina and I'm like, but it's not actually that would be like teaching your little boy That he had a scrotum instead of a penis. Yeah, it's just not out of town calling the mouth. You're a softagus

42:50Exactly. Yeah, exactly and so and it's Little so little girls They grow up with so much shame because they know that there's a part of their body That can't be named because it's everybody has a different name for it And and it's easy. It's vulva. It's just a vulva. That's the that's what A vulva is is the outer lipsy in her lips the clitoris that's a vulva But nobody uses that word and so instead shame creeps in to that body and she starts to doubt Is she beautiful? Is she too fat? She's too tall. She's too thin Is something what's wrong? She feels Deep shame about her body and I think I know you know that about so many women. How much shame there is even um Especially with social media and so much judgment and so much

43:52Attention on youth in and so much fear of aging. It's it's a challenging time to be human being Indie Do you think that you know these problems because what you're talking about is a lot of comparison? Yeah, and comparison and jealousy are related right because you're comparing somebody else's experience You're comparing somebody else's aromantic metrics, you know like they have this they look like this and And then kind of competing like giving up your unique beauty your your irreplaceable one-of-one you're the only person to ever be you beauty And trying to chase somebody else's beauty or compare yourself to it It sounds like what you're saying is that actually if you're connected to Your pleasure centers and Avoid the shame trap That actually that diminishes the comparative Yeah, okay This exactly a thousand percent true because you are recognizing your own magnificence always

44:57You don't what I recently went back to Lafayette Morehouse to receive some more training for the first time in 30 years and my teachers a lot of them were the same And so this meant that some of my teachers were in their 80s and they were not They were vital alive turned on connected Because their value was not the exterior, you know their gray hair aging skin But it was how orgasmic they were How much pleasure their body could hold Which is I think it's also very I think it's like a bio hack because they are looking pretty damn good, you know I think there's something to running that erotic energy in the body it makes you

45:57but They were just exquisitely beautiful And I loved seeing that there was a different value system where it wasn't about Getting a facelift it was about run more orgasm through your body So that you're generating more pleasure so that you can experience your aliveness in a state that's relaxed filled with gratitude Uh in the present moment And it was it was very inspiring for me So you know, I have a little Baby girl and obviously Vailana and Andalana are very tapped into their sensuality and so she's got some great aunties to yeah To you know lead her through this path But if somebody's listening with kids like what do you recommend for kids? You know when you're actually raising them to Because it is it is awkward. It's uncomfortable for parents to talk to their kids about it So awkward and so on come to revolve

46:58Um, I think it's important for when raising a little girl To let her know she has a vulva. It's not a it's not nothing. It's not a Sissy or a front bottom or vagina. It's a vulva And little boys have penis I I think that um I want to talk about little boys for a minute Because I think in in some ways it's even more challenging um when I was first starting my school I had um I appeared on Konono Bryan show like six times. I just had a I really good thing with him and his show and his team And one of his guys ended up coming to take my men's course and in the men's course I Part of the content is demonstrating How to touch a woman in a way that she would be the most pleasureed and there's actually a part of her

48:03Clitoris called the upper left quadrant that's the most sensitive on like 99% of women So I was showing everyone this demonstration showing them the part of Clitoris is most sensitive and This guy went home and said to his mom Mom, why didn't you ever tell me about the Clitoris when I was growing up and his mom said me never asked And I thought that was I Like Wow was what I had to say about that First of all Sometimes we can't wait until our kids ask Sometimes we have to be willing to say hey, there's certain things that are going to happen in your life You're gonna confront you're gonna Socialize with you're gonna have Big feelings for the little girls in junior high or high school and

49:04There'll be experiences that you have with their bodies when you do I want to give you a little Advice about what parts of her body are the most sensitive that you should always ask before you touch You should treat her with great respect, but if the opportunity permits Here are some information that could be of service to you And and the in reverse with little girls like I taught my daughter That she has she holds the boundaries When she wishes to be touched that's when it's acceptable when somebody wishes to touch her And it is Doesn't feel right to her she can put down the boundary and And teaching her about her body and about her pleasure Gave her good boundaries because she could sense like if a guy was grabbing her in a rough way she was like That's not gonna feel good I'm not gonna allow that person to be intimate with me

50:06She learned because she began to regard herself with Knowing the importance of her own pleasure But I think you and Vailana and Alana are gonna do great with Huxley Because this is an area that You've really Found your way as a man and Vailana has really found her way as woman and Alana as well where you've had to do that work of Your own self-love and your own erotic sovereignty and learning about your bodies and learning about respect for others So I think you're gonna be great Yeah, I think it's and I think it's important I think this next generation like we got to learn the lessons of the past that all of this Shaming and abstinence and sin It has not produced a healthy culture. Yeah I mean the abuses of sexuality are Just astounding what's going on right now and the more repression you see the more you get aberration

51:12You know, that's just the result you try to stuff something inside in this in this little box and then it squirts out in some You know shadowy expression and but to live like freely through that and again with the with the right guardrails on the surface The these are the boundaries. This is this is what's right and wrong This is the way that you can navigate it. I think it's really important. I think if we can correct that You know universally We'll see a massive shift in culture Yeah, I agree with you 1,000 percent and oh, you know, I want to ask your opinion about something like You know when I knew it was time to launch that book and I was kind of climbing out of my black hole of I would call it my death portal of my big ass ego death after you know that I was in for a few years Well six years. Okay, so I realized like oh my goodness. I mean I want to give this book. It's

52:14proper launch And I'm not going to be able to do it unless I run a lot of orgasm through this body Because if I just try to go from ego death To getting on a podcast. It's not gonna work I want to turn this body on By allowing this flow of this energy and I want to use that fuel as Padding the way for this book into the world. So I began a self-fusher practice and it's a practice that I do every single day and it's um Not pretty it's not for the goal of climax It's for the goal of cultivating pleasure Between myself and myself almost like saying goddess energy

53:16I'm making space for you in this body right now so And I might start with just you know Just even like this Just put it by hands together Because you know how when you do that you can feel that It's almost like the volume turns up on your molecules and you're like there's like a radiance happening and then I'll take these Radiantly alive, erotically charged hands and begin to caress myself my shoulders my body stroke my pussy I think for men it's it's different you know we have a different anatomy we have a different You know and again this is in the aggregate again men can be very feminine women can be very masculine It can so I don't want to make Generalities about the sexes when I'm talking about these energies, but in the in the masculine

54:18Being central with my body it's it's a little different It's like going into Hot sweat lodge in a cold in a cold plunge. It's actually it's not about necessarily the sensual thing It's about doing something that is a deeper love like a like a deeper love for my body And that could be a hard workout that could be or it could be soft like getting sun or something like that But the sensual the sensual touch method It doesn't actually it doesn't actually land Oh, that is fascinating. So for me like when I feel really good It's when I actually push this animal to work. Oh wow And that to me is is my form of sensuality Like that's there's nothing For my body that's received a sensual like playing two hours a hard basketball on the Sun You know like my body is alive then and it's alive for the rest of the day It's alive for even if it's tired. It's like I've Really loved my body that day or the same with the cold plunge. Yeah, it's uncomfortable at first

55:23But as everything kind of turns on and wakes up But the sensual touch method and viola has tried it with me and a lot of people and I've gone and I've Walked it enough to say like all right. Maybe I'm missing something here But it it just doesn't land the same way. Wow That's cool. It's really good to know your flavors. Uh-huh. I I I love those things you say like the working out hard and the cold plunge I cold plunge even in the dead of winter And teaches you something about yourself. Yeah For sure But and I love that you've explored like that slow sensual I But if you if you were Let's say your next kid is a son And you have a little boy. Do you did you like did you have self pleasure practices when you were growing up So no, I didn't I mean and uh

56:23It's just it's it's fundamentally different because I could touch my touch my penis all the time But like it wasn't really pleasurable. It's not like really pleasurable to touch my penis like I can go rub my penis Feels like I'm just rubbing my elbow like it's not pleasurable But the right obviously the right stroke the arousing but there's such a it's so much more mental and then like physical and yes There is a there is a touch component, but it's just a different anatomy Do you think it does the same thing of Opening up all that chemistry that I was talking about for sure It's just like but it's more probably an intense opening of like oxytocin relaxance I think and I think one of the challenges is because there's such a profound release when we ejaculate That you know, we can be riding that that wave and then we get to the ejaculation and everything kind of Falls out to the bottom now. Mm-hmm. Not always not completely

57:24But it's it's not exactly the same. So I think When I get myself into a really kind of a central state of mind like not ejaculating So if I'm on a vacation, you know, we're on a beach somewhere and I'm with with my beloved and we're on a beach It's like if I can engage in aeros but not actually finish Then I'll stay in this kind of aliveness and this hunger because the hunger is actually the pleasure. It's so much fun You know, and I think for I think for the masculine maintaining that hunger without just satiating satiating satiating satiating satiating Especially with like pornographic pseudo-airos just satiating and blasting yourself And be like taking like the most super powered vibrator and just You know, it's like that's what porn is for men I think is just like blasting you with all of the fantasies that You should be imagining but now you're they're seeing literally and done in this kind of controlled weird contrived way Yeah, that is you know, it's for the money and then it's just this weird situation

58:27I think that you know a better practice is to just you know make love but Try like if you want to extend that feeling. Yeah, like just don't finish I'm not like I'm not into the super aso terricsemen retention never never finish like it's a It's beautiful to have that release. Yeah, however like if you want to maintain if you want to keep the volume up You keep everything charged Keep your hunger. You know like stay hungry. Yeah, and that's when it feels the best And it's a little lazy and sloppy to when you finish it's like not it's not anything to be shamed of but it's like Do what do you want do you want that 10 seconds of pleasure or do you want to be in that state of hunger? For days, you know, and I think we're not really assessing the risk reward the cost benefit Of the jackulation all the time right and I think that state of You know hunger. It's interesting, right because it implies that you need to eat

59:28But it's almost like a state of continual vibrating arousal which is so so pleasurable. Yeah, experience. Yeah and the thing that I was uh Kind of that content got Poured in that book in this way I would call that continual arousal state The goddess energy mm-hmm and we normally think of it relating with sexuality or nature And we tend to think when something truly dark or um A death or losing a job or losing all your money or um you know being Your house burns down like a huge rupture

1:00:32You know That those circumstances are devoid of that erotic aliveness But we can actually Have rupture that's erotically charged and when you do The what's next opens in a very magical way like if you are willing to just Surrender fully to the loss while Staying in the gratitude for life. Mm-hmm That's the mm-hmm in some ways so deeply erotic to have um Like goddess soaked grief because it's Ad-sheer aliveness totally that's the way I mean that's the way of the poet. I think for the poet the the enemy is not

1:01:32Pain it's numbness Right, you know, it's like and there's that great Johnny Cash song the needle tears a hole to see if I still feel Right, it's like the heroin is not even about the heroin. It's about actually the injection You know, it's about like seeing if you can still feel something and I think numbness is is really the enemy It's this cold lifeless gray That we can abide in and I think that can come too easily from Saciation, you know pseudo-saciation drugs Orn the fast hit the quick buck the all of this pseudo-saciation and we're all the sudden so satiated That our hedonic tolerance is just so high that nothing feels pleasurable and nothing feels painful And we're in this kind of numbed out state That's one of the deep challenges of some of the Psychiatric medicine is it puts you in a perpetual state of increased numbness And so all right. Yeah, maybe you don't feel the lows, but you got to feel the lows to get through the lows And then on the on the other side you can feel the highs like everything has its corollary. Yeah, principle of polarity

1:02:34Yeah, what you feel on the down you can feel on the up what you feel on the up you can feel on the down Yeah, but I'd rather live in that broad spectrum than kind of narrow and constrict the band to where I'm never really laughing I'm never really experiencing pleasure, but I'm also never really feeling pain and never feeling down like yeah much better to feel the full gamut A few human experiences we're here to do yeah, and that's our advantage over the robots god damn it That's why we can't give cell phone star children so they don't spend their childhood scrolling. Yeah, you know, I think that's looking at other people's voyeuristic looking at other people's aliveness, which is probably faked Just so they can probably fake to live this yeah exactly Yeah, it is such a privilege that like the full range you know some of the things I look back on in my life that I cherish the most are like the intensity of loves that I've lost or

1:03:36or Opportunities or you know experiences that I'll never have again like there's something so Charged about the fullness of all the facets of being human. I wouldn't have wanted to not have all that heartbreak It's made me the woman I am today. Yeah, totally Talk to me about surrender In what regard I can go in so many there's so many highways to surrender that's a I mean Again in the archetypal In landscape that is a deeply feminine trait Yeah, you know, it's just like and I think for me The counterbalance to the masculine expressions that I've shared and I think for a lot of people in their masculine Plant medicine like Doing ayahuasca or aboga or one of these challenging plant medicines The magic of it is when you just let go when you take breath after breath sinking you deeper into

1:04:38Not resisting the overwhelming amount of light and energy that's entering your body, but surrendering to it Surrendering how much deeper can I surrender how much deeper can I surrender how much deeper can I surrender? And it's a whole different skill set Then how much can I brace how much can I persevere how much can I be resilient how much can I fight and push through How much can I not feel and both I think are important, you know, if you're in a war situation, you know, like you need to actually be able to Handle take the next best step find the next place a cover regardless of how uncomfortable you are like that's important I think we need that in these in most of us fortunately aren't in actual war We're gonna need these skill sets sometimes just like bracket that let's go we got a mission and You also have to have the complimentary skill set of How much can I just feel what the fuck I'm feeling yeah? I think that is the art of being a human being is

1:05:41This book originally was called surrender and and my first version of it I wrote When I felt like I had finally learned how to drop my armor and surrender to the masculine and I learned that in my relationship with my partner my former partner Peter and I thought oh my god like women just don't know how to surrender right now They're so met so many of us are so armored and in our masculine and making our powerful way in this world and valuing ourselves on the currency of what we can accomplish and la la la But how do we drop all of that armor and just surrender deeply in love with um

1:06:41Our partners and so I Peter and I got back together after being broken up And I thought oh I finally I finally have a hand I've got a handle on this I'm gonna write a book called surrender about how warrior women can do this thing because I saw a lot of my warrior women girlfriends that had no idea how to surrender and We're finding men wrong. They're saying oh he's not this enough or not that enough and I was like well What about the practice of surrendering to his magnificence wherever his magnificence meets you And so I wrote the proposal I handed it into my editor and she read it and she was like couldn't it be just surrendering to girlfriends and to families is that interesting what it was so interesting and uh and I said no no no this is about truly and uniquely feminine surrender to the masculine and it's something

1:07:43I've been longing to do my whole life. I feel so grateful that I've tasted it and I And she's like no I'm not interested so I and I know enough about surrender to know that when the great pussy Doesn't want me to go ahead with something she'll have an editor say no So I took that thing and I threw it in a drawer and I just lived my life and I figured if it was meant to come back it would About a year later I am moving out of Brooklyn I am walking to Whole Foods on my last day And I've run into this editor We say hi, nice to see her at about a week later she calls me and she said I met someone I need help It said oh I see the storyline is coming back around again Okay, fascinating and so I coached her and it turned out she had the most after

1:08:47Decade of not dating She surrendered to the most magnificent wild Delightful Love affair and then she went right from that love affair to still yet another love affair and I was like boom this surrender practice is Happening for her and then in the end of one conversation she said oh can you send me that proposal again? But by now I surrendered even more deeply and I realized It's about more than erotic surrender to the masculine It's about the erotic surrender to life itself Whatever life hands us When she hands us A child with a challenge that you couldn't have expected that you can't Some in the courage to surmount on your own or when you lose Your job the thing that you identified with or the way of working that made you feel whole which is what happened for me

1:09:54I I stopped working on stages of thousands of people and And I thought I was going to die and I had to surrender to that and it's about surrendering to the exquisite when you when you lose someone that you love or In awe at mother nature with a sunset that undresses the sky And you surrender to that magnificence It was about surrendering and surrendering and surrendering to life To the divine feminine to all the privileges of being alive that don't always line up with our egos And how our egos think life should be or life should go so It was a beautiful Kind of dance between me and that editor because she knew there was some expansion needed in that That became on our knees And I surrendered to her vision and then I surrendered to oh it's bigger

1:10:58Yes, it does include devotional surrender to my lover Where there are times all I want to do is to be of service To him with my full erotic and that's all I want But there's also times when I want to be in full service of my erotic to the breakdown that's happening or the loss of apparent or The awe of life itself so I think surrendering oh I think it's always Our ego that gets surrendered right It's that we thought it should be one way it's another Can we still be in love with our life? Can we still feel that ravishing gratitude for being human and The privilege of it all even when it looks nothing like we thought it was supposed to look

1:12:03Yeah, I think there's there's something for the masculine that's very powerful that happens when you have a lover Who fully surrenders to you? Oh my god and and allows you to express the fullness of who you are All your dark arrows all your light arrows all of that and doesn't flinch and just says like I love all of it. Ah and can find find their own Aros in your aros in that and when that happens then I think the masculine When they receive that if they're able to fully receive that gift then what happens is they say ah The goddess loves me. Yes, like now I can put on my armor. Yes, and like sharpen my sword Yeah, and like I will go protect her Yeah, like I will I will be willing to give my life for her Yeah, and I think that's a it's a key component both work together You know, it's okay. Obviously if more men were In that deep devotion to the goddess and willing to fight it and live to protect her more women would surrender

1:13:06But if more women surrendered more men would do that. It's a it's a kind of a chicken in the egg scenario Yeah, but both have to happen at the same time Yeah, as if when when we feel that then that's the most inspiring thing That we can feel and here's the let's say from the feminine side of it Like I have a need to give that Like I said deep meat like I cannot be the fullness of the woman that I am without Giving that to the masculine like it lives as an ache like a need and it's and it's almost like You know, I think a lot about um Ancient days right women were at one time the initiators of men sexually Women now think that men are supposed to initiate us. It's like this queue is backwards. Mm-hmm. And what I was

1:14:10Realizing is that the initiation comes from the depth of the surrender It is from that deep service That like my high priestess comes online and she's not present unless I am in that deep level of service and surrender And it's nothing more pleasurable than that And it goes back and forth right because it's I want to be that devotional because he's filled me up that much That the only thing I can do is give to him Yeah, and it's it has an unbelievable Transformational potential. Yeah, so I'm gonna tell two stories here one the first story is my acting coach in college and she tells a story she's from New York and She tells a story she's walking down that that proverbial back alley late at night, you know that scenario and She gets Approached by a guy and the guy has a knife and is intending to rape her

1:15:14And she's a trained actress and so her choice in that scenario Was she just said she got her deepest lowest baritone voice and just said no No, and it was just echoing off the buildings and the walls and and the guy was like wow This is way more than I would I bargained for any booked it right so Great choice. Yeah, you know great choice how she handled that There's another story though that she's a legendary story from Tibetan Buddhism of yeshita sogyal You know the story of yeshita sogyal Yes, sogyal is a story that everybody should know I mean, I think she's an ascended master up there with the greats in some traditions She's actually known as a second Buddha so She's walking she's she was a one of the she's the head dekeene from Padmasambhava in this like deep lineage of Awakening her feminine aeros to the full maximum power that was that was able and

1:16:15Story goes she's on a on a journey by herself and on one of the deserted roads that's leading from one temple to another temple and she's surrounded by a group of five like ruffians brigands and they have blades and They first going to rob her of her possessions, but she doesn't have any possessions all she has is her beauty So they go to rob her beauty and She makes the choice in that time now she has five men they have swords as no one around there's no walls to echo off of and she makes the choice and this is you know accounted in in deep literature and held up as a teaching for I don't know you know over 1200 years and She stays so present during the rape during the during the experience just full presence full surrender That the men in there in that kind of animality in that kind of bloodlust that they were experiencing they actually Carry out their act, but she maintains that that pristine presence throughout it

1:17:18And at the end they're finished and they look at her and she's still not with judgment not with she's just looking at them and seeing them And then offering that offering that surrender at that point They all Drop to their knees and start weeping and weeping weeping just water flowing like rivers from them and convulsing and weeping and then they stand up and they kneel and they say We will protect you for the rest of our life like you've changed us And they become her bodyguards wow and It's a it's a A wild story that she was able I mean it is it is Yeshua on the cross It's like Forgive them for they know not what they do but may by maintaining that presence by not going into judgment by not going into resistance She didn't give them what they actually wanted even though they thought they were getting what they wanted What they really got was a radical transformation. Mm-hmm. They like were in the presence of the goddess At that point in it instantly transformed them and that's the story now. This isn't a

1:18:19This isn't a you know story of about how to do it if you're getting attacked again That's why I told the story of my acting coach like there's a variety of different scenarios and you have to have Equiver equipped with with a variety of things But it's a it's a think an important story of like how transformational it can be even in the most brutal out of bound scenario like that You know that Buddha you know level of surrender that level of surrender change you know change the course of history and change You know change these men's trajectory Wow and got them in devotion to God and the goddess well I have a quick one for you that I learned from my school at Lafayette Morehouse, which was a woman who lived there Was out somewhere and a guy wanted to reap her and she was like Oh Right listen, I want you. This is another story of surrender. She's like this is great. I get this I get that urge

1:19:25Why don't you come back to my house And you can rate me at my house where we can be comfortable and So she and she lived communally and so she brought him back to her commune And she said this is my rapist and so everybody in the house was like Come in and they you know they were they all were surrendered And of course the rape didn't happen because what happened was she was In such deep agreement that he should have this experience that she brought him into her home With her housemates and everybody met him there So the rape transformed into connection Another form of surrender there's so many And like again, we're using extreme examples and and I think but there's a lesson there's a teaching lesson In that and in when somebody's expressing a desire like what happens if you resist that desire

1:20:27You're gonna get one result And if you surrender to that desire you may get a different result now only you know What the right what the right tact play is what that pathway is and whether you're actually Desiring willing and you see the path and I think that's from a deeper listening to You know to the mystery herself right. I think it's like a trusting your pussy or trusting your intuition or trusting that deep inner knowing that Uh You know when you're tapped into your pleasure that intuition is very alive And when you're not you're kind of lost Mm-hmm I I think that when you know When a woman owns her pussy or owns her pleasure she owns her life she Takes ownership of her decisions of her intuitions in a way that she can't access otherwise I don't know what the parallel is for a man like is it the same is it like just deeply trusting your cock power on this?

1:21:32I think it's that The I mean the cock is a penetrative force right but it's also the most sensitive Of the skin that we have on our body and what is sensitive means it means it's listening and I think the If you're into this if you're in the sacred masculine you're penetrating and listening So if you're leading You're leading the company but listening to all your employees so well if you're leading if you're a king in leading an actual country Or a president, you know, you're leading but listening listening deeply listening And I think in in making love you're you're penetrating but listening You're using that tool. It's like a it's like a sword full of ears. Yeah, you know It's like it's just you're always paying attention. Yeah, and I think that's the that's the key thing because if you block off the listening part Then you're just gonna be a bull in a china shot. I love that auger. I love that because like

1:22:32As a woman you want that penetration that's attuned and it's it's like just a beautiful way to describe that You know how to meet a woman In her fullness with your fullness Mm-hmm Yeah, that's really cool. That's the key and you know what can block it is If you're if you're in pain, you know, sometimes you can not hear anything and block it off It can be there can be some other thing that's so loud that it's drowning out the listening You know like you need this to make yourself feel good about yourself And I've fallen into these traps, you know like where it's like Well, I wasn't listening at all. I was just charging forward, you know, because I had something that was so strong Yeah, that I couldn't actually listen. Yeah, so It's about like also Recognizing when the noise is so loud that you can't hear anything else Mm-hmm And that can come from a variety of places, but I think that's the the key to masculine

1:23:36Expression is leading but listening I can feel this in you so profoundly Like there's something new in your energy right now that I am loving so much there's like A way it's it's different than when I met you a few years ago I can feel the work that you've been doing or how you've worked on yourself or been worked by that which is greater and surrendered to it and You know kind of forged a new aspect of your king is what it feels like yeah, it's it's in process You know, and I think always I think there's There's great virtue in in the humbling experiences of life. Yes, we're sure when you've experienced something and been humbled Oh my goodness You can actually look and say that's why you know all athletes will say they learn more from their losses than they do their victories

1:24:39So, you know, I've had some losses You know, I've had some real losses and So this kind of invincible aura like I do want to regain that in this kind of post-tragedic version of Aubrey But now I'm in and the start of it like the the foundation of it is just to be like all right humbled You know humbled by what's what's happened and I think there's like I'm not intending to stay permanently here I'm tending to bring this with me to the next stage which is now Humble the and audacious Yeah, you know like humble then Still with that kind of swagger because there's a beauty to the older Aubrey which was A little less humbled a little more cocky a little more swagger and but low low indexing indexing too low on humility and then like humility's index super high now Great, I'm gonna keep that but I'm gonna get back to that kind of That's wagger and that's I see that kind of path

1:25:39But this is it's a beautiful place to be in and it's not a need To evolve beyond that, but you know, I do miss some of those old elements and I think I can get them back and keep this With me to be an even Better version of myself. I still see your swagger low. Thank you. I see I feel it For sure is I don't think you can shed your swagger. I appreciate that swagger is true It's you know, it's it's a product of your The depth and breath of your accomplishments You can't shed that That will always be you So I see it all I don't think you have to get back anywhere I appreciate that I appreciate that you know, I think One of the things that I've realized is just We can be so fragile You know, and not really realize how fragile we are like things that Yesterday was a great example of and I actually you know gave myself what as I was going to sleep last night

1:26:40I was like did good today, buddy. I'm like good job, Bob Because there's three scenarios where the you know three most important women in my life They all got super fussy and frustrated yesterday Even Huxley even Huxley even Huxley so you know, Alana had her moment you know based on a variety of external circumstances And I just listened and then she projected a little bit of that anger onto me And I knew it wasn't aimed at me. Yeah, I said, hey, is that really about me or is it about the shit at that point? She wasn't ready to receive it and says okay, and then an hour later. She's like hey, yeah, it was totally not about you All this about the other thing. It's like I know But I didn't press it and an old Aubrey would have just pressed it like yeah, I have nothing to do with this What do you mean? This is this isn't right. I would have tried to clear up that thought pattern like immediately like this is wrong Let me show you why like forcefully like Get her to see that actually she wasn't actually mad at me And then probably would have got mad at me. But how I forcefully tried to make her like rip the blindfold off

1:27:41Yeah, I was like no, and then it just naturally worked out and then Vi you know was Huxley was having a hard moment and and Vi was having a hard moment and you know, she was Expressing that and I knew she didn't actually What she was saying wasn't actually what she feels yeah, you know, but I just grabbed Huxley Who was being super fussy and Vi was fussy and Huxley was fussy and they were amplifying each other I just grabbed Huxley and put her on my chest and kind of carried around and omitted a little bit and then she's Passes out so good and then Vi gets to get body work and then she comes out of that and Vi is feeling good And then Vi comes and like hey, you know like oh man. I was fussy and you know I got to know I was like that's beautiful babe like what great awareness that you can see all of this But instead of trying to fix anything in the moment. I just all right Like I can just receive this and Not be unmoved be unmoved by the by the tempest and and really anchor that mountain energy

1:28:41And so you know that's evolution That's like that's growth for me, which is not like I see something that's not right. I'm gonna fix it immediately It's like no it'll fix itself all I have to do is stay steady. Yeah and that What what you're also providing for those women It's like you're being the rock they're being the wave that crashes against the rock And do you know how we cherish that as women To have that experience of a man being willing to hold his ground While we storm Because storming is of the nature of the feminine She who bleeds but does not die and gives life that's us always So to have that Strength is so is like It's like Expodential love. It's so magnificent

1:29:44Yeah, I hope you can feel it. I hope you can feel it like when you ground yourself and and the waves are coming and you're like It's me just loving you baby. Yeah, this is what it is. Yeah And it's it's not always easy. I remember there was one time where I could feel a storm coming You know, it's like I was like one of those farmers where my knees was aching and I could like just feel the change and in pressure And I was like oh, it's coming It's fucking coming and I was like and I made a prayer. I made a solemn prayer. I was like when it comes You were gonna stay steady steady do not get swept up in the current and it came Yeah, and I got all throughout you know mask with my ship crashing against the rocks and I'm like Oh, wow like you prayed like you you knew this was happening Here you are in it and sometimes you know, so sometimes it's not easy Yes, not easy to to be able to hold it and and I think but it's practice. It's like how much can you how much can you actually

1:30:46hold and and that can also So One of the challenging other elements is sometimes that can be even more maddening You know when the storm is coming it's like the storm is coming and you're just a rock and you're not moving They're like you don't even care And that's another that's another trick right because it's like you want me to care all Care is this caring enough for you like I can do this is not helpful You know, they're like no, I don't want I'm like I do care, but I'm just saying calm. That's great That's great. You're kind of writing the architecture for the masculine version of psyche and euros You know of all the passages that the masculine goes through to hold steady in his love for the feminine. Yeah Yeah, and and steer clear of Steering clear of judgment and righteousness You know just just loving them as they are And trusting that there's a way that you can actually gently gently offer

1:31:48Revelation and insight but wait for the opening. Yeah, you know, don't be like throwing up these paper airplanes into the storm and hoping they're gonna grab it like a letter and sit down and calmly read it Get drowned in the whirlpool You know like wait, you know and hand the letter and then like at that point then you know, there's an opening. Yeah That's great. Yeah This has been such a pleasure Regina Aubrey it's been so fantastic. Yeah, thank you so much for Inviting me and for sitting with me and for Talking about such matters with me it means a world to me. Yeah And good luck on the launch of this book when is it on sale? August 24th all right That's when it's come in and I'm gonna do my first live event in many years in New York City. You excited So excited cannot wait to set foot on that stage cannot wait You feel like you know like a bull stomping the ground. Yeah, before you get like

1:32:49Yeah, yeah, yeah, ready to go I love that and I love you. Yeah, I love you too. Thank you and we love you guys. Thanks for tuning in