Asking Forgiveness Before Yom Kippur

0:00We have Yom Kippur upcoming and today I want to try to cover a critical aspect of Yom Kippur, one that we cannot ignore and that is the aspect of individual and personal reconciliation and forgiveness and try to focus on the interpersonal component of Yom Kippur. And later on we'll do also tips and tricks for earning a positive outcome on Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur is upcoming and it is a marvelous day. It's a day of cleansing and purification. We enter Yom Kippur, we're solid with sin. Our soul is bedecked with blemishes. And what do you know? We emerge from Yom Kippur with a clean slate. Our sins are expunged. Our blemishes are remediated. Our spiritual maladies are healed. What an amazing day.

1:00What a powerful day a day of total transformation. There's a book of Tom and Emishna on Yom Kippur. And the name of the book is Yom Ma, which means the day or which day is it? Is it labor days? It's veterans days and memorial days. It independence day. No. When you talk about one day, that's a day. The day that everything changes. That is Yom Kippur. And thus we can legitimately label that day as Yom Ma, just that day. This is the most powerful and auspicious day of the year. This is the day that everything changes. This day of Moshe descended from heaven the third time with the second set of tablets. This is the day that we secured full forgiveness for the synagogue and calf. And that experience of cleansing and purification is revisited each year. We enter the day contaminated and we emerge purified. The verse tells us, L'Virica 1630,

2:03Que ba'yo mazei khapra aleikhim And this day, Yom Kippur, Yichapra aleikhim, de mari will atone for us. Letair as Khantu purify us, Michal Khatos, heikhim from all our sins, L'ifneha shemti taru close to God, we shall become pure. This is the day more than any other. And we are close to God. This is the day of purification. And this day, the money promises to cleanse us and purify us from all our sins. What an incredible day. Now we spoke last time how Yom Kippur is a day of alchemy of transformation, but it hinges on a critical effort at our part. We have to repent. Provided that we repent, Yom Kippur cleanses us from all our sins. Cleanses us from all our iniquities. Cleanses us from our spiritual flaws. But there is a whole other component of this that we must discuss at length, and that is the interpersonal side of this discussion.

3:08In the aforementioned book of Yom Kippur on page 85b, we read the following, Da Ra Shraba Lazaba Nazaria. Rabia Lazaba Nazaria, one of the great sages of the Mishna, he expounded. The verse says, Miko Lhato Sechem, Lifni Acheb Ditaru, from all your sins before God. You shall become purified. Only untrans旅行s between man and God does Yom Kippur provide atonement. But untransdressions between man and one's fellow. Yom Kippur does not provide atonement until you appease your fellow. Yom Kippur is a day of purification, cleansing, expiation, atonement. But that only works for sins and transgressions between man and God. The interpersonal sins? Well, for that you have to appease your fellow.

4:08So you have to resolve the grievances that they may have upon you. Now, if you read this Mishna very critically, you'll see that Yom Kippur does aton for interpersonal sins, provided that we appease our fellow. And what does the Mishna say? Yom Kippur does not aton until you appease your fellow. So Yom Kippur is a day of atonement and cleansing for all sins. But with respect to sins between man and one's fellow, with respect to interpersonal transgressions, those violations must be dealt with the aggrieved person themselves in order for the purification of Yom Kippur to apply to them. So in Yom Kippur, the money is going to purify us from all our transgressions, with respect to the sins of God while we repent and then he cleanses us, and with respect to the interpersonal sins, for that we need to appease and assuage and

5:08malify our fellow to earn that cleansing. And therefore, it's very central to the whole day, the idea of interpersonal relationships. And that's an aspect that we cannot overlook to the plan today is twofold. Number one, we want to understand exactly how to gain atonement for interpersonal transgressions. And in general, we want to discuss the nature of interpersonal transgressions and the sensitivity required to not cause another person any pain or any loss. Okay, that's the plan and let us begin. So the time it tells us in the book of Yom Kippur 87a, Amarabiyat Srak, Rabiyat Srak says, if a person causes pain to his fellow man, even if it's only verbal, it's only words, Tzarech Lafaysa, you have to appease them.

6:10Even verbal violations, you ridicule someone, you insult someone, you embarrass someone, you curse someone, that demands a request of forgiveness and appeasement from the aggrieved person in order for the transgressor to achieve atonement. The time it's telling us that it's not only the tangible interpersonal violations, you damage them, you injure them, you cause them a monetary loss. That's not only that, that demands a forgiveness, even if it is only verbal, non-tangible transgressions, they too require reconciliation. Indeed, the Ramam tells us the laws of repentance chapter two, law number nine. Ain't that true for a Veloid, but Yom Kippur Makhapram? True for repentance, and Yom Kippur does not atone only for sentiently man and god. Someone eats something in the encrocher, for example, that's a violation of the contract,

7:15the pact between man and god. If someone engages in forbidden inner course, that's a violation of the relationship between man and god. For that repentance, Yom Kippur works. Aval Averos Shabinandum Khavero, but transgressions, Yom Kippur Makhapram, for example, someone who hits, who strikes physically his friend, or someone curses his friend, or someone steals from his friend, and matters the like. Ain't no Nim Khalola Olam, you're not forgiven for that, forever, until you compensate your friend, while you owe them, and you appease them. Even if you return the money that you owe, you must appease them, and request their forgiveness until they accede to that request, and indeed forgive you, and the Ramam concludes, even if you only caused verbal pain, you diminished, you insulted, you ridiculed your friend, verbally, you must appease

8:22them, and you must intreat upon them to forgive you. So if you have a monetary violation, Ram tells us, you have to make a man, you got to pay him what you owe, and you also have to ask for forgiveness. And even if it was only verbal, you have to appease them, and beg them, and implore them until they forgive you. Now when we set into Torah, we see the incredible sensitivity and delicateness of how we must treat other people, and how careful we have to be not to cause any other person pain. A very striking and terrifying example of this is Fechim Talbukov Bavbas, page 16A. It's talking about Penina and Khana, Hannah, and it tells us Penina, Lashem Shemaim Nistavna. Penina, her intentions were noble, were heavenly. Now who are these people?

9:31These people are co-wives of a gentleman named Elkana. We read the story in the beginning of Samuel 1 chapter 1. This man named Elkana, and he has two wives. One named Penina, and Penina has loads of children, ten according to the midrush, and Hannah, Khana, is completely barren. She is totally infertile. And Penina teased and tormented Hannah, says the Talmud, she did it with noble intentions. She did it in order to motivate her co-wife to pray to God to have the Amadiah resolve her infertility. And the midrush elaborates that Penina would cause Hannah, pain, and anger, amid anger. What would she do? In the morning she would wake up and she will tell Hannah,

10:39aren't you getting up to give your kids a bath? Of course, Hannah is barren, and it's a very painful thing for a woman to be alone, not to have any children, especially when she has a co-wife, which of course is a source of tremendous competition. And she has ten children, and Hannah has zero, and now she's teasing her and saying, well, did you watch your kids face today? And then the afternoon, oh, are you going outside to wait for your kids to come back from school? And Penina would deliberately invoke the fact that she has children, and Hannah is barren. And why? Why was Penina so cruel in teasing and tormenting Hannah? Says the Talmud, this was noble. She had righteous intentions. She wanted to spur her to pray, to storm the heavens in prayer, to get the Almighty, to make a miracle for

11:40Penina has ten children, Hannah has zero children, Penina is tormenting and teasing Hannah, and indeed, Hannah prays, and a miracle happens. And she bears a son, who goes on to be one of the most significant people in all of Jewish history, the great prophet Samuel. Sounds like it's a great story. It sounds like it has a happy ending, but no, something else happened. We read in Samuel, Samuel 1, chapter 2, verse number 5, this is part of Hannah's prayer after Samuel's born. Lala, while the barren woman now has seven children, the mother of many, the woman who previously had so many children, she is now alone. Hannah, the barren woman, she bore seven children,

12:44but Penina, her co-wife, who used to tease and torment her, she was punished. And the mirror tells us that with every child born to Hannah, Penina buried two of hers. So when Samuel was born, Penina lost two of her ten children. And then Hannah had a second child and Penina buried now four. And Hannah had a third child and Penina buried six. And Hannah had a fourth child and Penina buried eight. And then Hannah was pregnant with a fifth child. She now has four, she's going to have five and Penina's down to two. She's buried eight of her children. And Penina starts crying and prostrates herself in front of Hannah. It says, please forgive me for all the pain that I caused you. And at that moment Hannah prayed to God and said to God,

13:48master of the world, forgive her and spare her last two remaining children. And the Almighty responded to their prayer and says, you know what, for the pain that she caused you, she deserves to lose them all. But because you prayed for her, I'm going to spare those two. So Hannah bore a fifth child and the two remaining children of Penina survived. And thus the barren woman had seven because the only reason why Penina's last two children survived, that was thanks to the intercession and the prayer and the forgiveness of Hannah. This is of course a very terrifying story and we see how severely Penina was punished for words, for teasing her co-wife, Hannah. And her the Talmud tells us that she had righteous and noble intentions. Yes, of course, she cruelly

14:51teased Hannah and Hannah was barren, but it had a righteous purpose. It was for the purpose of helping her, of trying to spur and coach her to pray. So if she had righteous intentions, why was she punished so severely? There's a deep inside over here. This is teaching us the Torah's view on causing another person pain. There is never a justification to cause another person pain. If you pain another person, if you tease them, I don't care if it is righteous, that is fire. And if you play with fire, you may get burnt. The good intentions do not spare you from the severe consequences of causing another person pain. And you have another example, who is a better person to bring an example from than Moshe. We read the beginning of the book of

15:59Exodus. Moshe is a shepherd. He has a very dramatic experience by the burning bush and God says, if I want you to go save a nation, suffering, being enslaved, being tormented, being oppressed, being murdered in Egypt, when you take them out of Egypt, and when you bring them to the land of Kanan. Now this is not just any nation. This is the Jewish nation. These are the descendants of Isaac and Jacob, the one who are the nation that's going to be, and it's destined to be, the Amai's representatives in this world. So Moshe has been told by God, I want you to undertake the most important consequential mission of all time. Take the nation of Egypt, effectuate the giving of Torah at Sinai, and bring the nation into Israel. And if you read what happened, Moshe was not so eager to accept this offer. He tells the Amai Di, well, how could I speak to Pharaoh? I'm

17:01not worthy. No one's going to listen to me. What's what name should I say that you presented yourself as, and I say just tell us that Moshe objected to undertaking this mission for seven days with multiple objections, and each objection to Amai Di responds to. And then Moshe has a final objection. Send Aaron, I have an older brother, send him instead of me. And Rashe tells us that really that was the only objection. He didn't want to one up his older brother to make his older brother feel bad that Moshe is getting all the glory. He didn't want to embarrass or cross shame to Aaron or cross him any envy. And that was the real objection. Everything else was in excuse. And the Amai Di gets angry at Moshe. And the Amai says, Aaron, you were the bad Aaron? When he sees you, Viracha, when he sees you, when he sees you, the Samakh Beliebo will be happy and glad in his heart.

18:05Aaron, the Amai Di testifies, is the only person we know of that has not a scintilla or shred of envy. And therefore, what are you worried about? Aaron is not going to be envious. He's not going to be envious. And therefore, you could lead the nation. Now, if you read this very critically, you discover an amazing insight. Moshe is told, go save a nation in dire straits. They've been murdered, they're being tormented, they're enslaved, they need a salvation. You go do it. And Moshe responds, what about Aaron? He'll be offended. And what's the Amai Di's counter to that? The Amai Di's counter to that is not Aaron's offended. Who cares? Someone gets offended. We have a nation to save. That's not his response. These responses, Aaron, you worried about Aaron? Viracha, the Samakh Beliebo will be happy for you. He won't have any envy.

19:06Inplicit in the Amai Di's response to Moshe, what would have happened had Aaron indeed been envious of Moshe's glory? That would be a good enough reason to abort the mission. The Amai Di's responding to Moshe, not saying your claim is baseless. The idea of one person suffering, who cares about that one, there's a nation suffering? He's saying your idea is sound. However, fatually you are incorrect. Because Aaron happens to be the one person who was happy when others thrive and shine and even when his younger brother takes over the glory. But what would have been had Aaron been like any other person? That would have caused them pain. You know what? Moshe, in that case, you would have been right. Had Aaron had envy and pain, Moshe would have been justified to distort this mission. The dire needs of the people, not with standing. Why? Don't we say the ends justify the means? Don't we say you got to crack a few

20:11ends to make a decent omelet? Moshe is teaching us a lesson. If you want to do something great, if you want to do something noble, you cannot trample on someone else's feelings. If you might want to say the nation, I'm not doing it if I have to trample on Aaron's feelings. That's not a justification for me to go save the people. What am I to do to himself? I'm not doing it. Send Aaron. Send someone else. We don't say the ends justify the means. Let me trample on a couple of people. Let me pass a small prize to accomplish this great mission. Indeed, had Aaron been aggrieved, that would be a good reason to abort the whole mission. There was a story about a great lecturer and orator. His name was Rabbi Shamsh Fadran. It's one of the great speakers in recent years, lived in Israel. So there was a Yashiva that the dean of the Yashiva

21:20was going on a fundraising trip. There was going to take many months and there was no one to give speeches in the Yashiva. He was offered with the possibility that he was given the offer. Why don't you, when the dean is out of town, you instead replace them and you give the speeches. You're after all a fiery orator. You'll inspire the students. You give the speeches in his stead. He was worried what's going to be. I'm going to give speeches and he knew that he was a very talented orator. Then the original dean comes back and I want to listen to him because he's dry, not so exciting, not so fiery. I remember the old guy was much better. What should I do? I take the job or not. He went to the great Mashi Diyach of Punavich, the great Rupkhatsr-11. He responded like this. Listen to this. We have a tradition that if there's an opportunity to build the third temple,

22:22the hope and the yearning of our nation for millennia, but there is potentially a risk and a concern of causing someone else pain, we don't build a temple. That is not how the temple gets built. That is the sensitivity that we have against causing another person pain. That is the severity that we treat this subject with. It is totally intolerable and you know what if someone calls on the person pain even if it's verbal alone? You could fast for a thousand days. You could repent for a hundred young kippers, but unless you secure forgiveness from the aggrieved party, that will forever remain on your record. You will never be cleansed from this transgression. You have to go and approach the person who was aggrieved and secure their forgiveness. Now what do you do to the person who does not

23:25want to forgive you? Says the Talmud. Rebiyosi, Barchanina says, if you ask forgiveness from your fellow, don't ask more than three times. So what you do is you ask once and you ask twice and you ask a third time and you try to get that person's friends and colleagues and acquaintances to go on your behalf. And if you're unsuccessful, after three times you stop. The person who doesn't want to forgive you who has a stone heart, he's the sinner not you. Now what's the logic of stopping after three times? The commentaries tell us that there's a principle in the Talmud called Khazakra, which means an assumption that is born out of three times something happened one after another. If a person refuses a genuine and sincere request for forgiveness, we understand that

24:27that is their position and they are unflinching and they will never forgive you. But by him not forgiving you, he is sinning because he is cruelly rejecting your overtures for reconciliation. And therefore if you're going to ask a fourth and a fifth and a sixth and a seventh time, because you know it's futile, you're ready rejecting the three times, you're causing him to sin needlessly and therefore you stop after three times. Now the Talmud gives us an interesting story about requesting forgiveness. It tells of the great sage named Raav. Raav is essentially the founder of the great academy in Babylon. But when he was still in Israel, he was giving a lecture essentially in front of all the great sages in front of the great repudru of the prince. And he started giving a lecture and then we drew the prince's listening and then another sage Watson,

25:30Rapheo Watson. So he's halfway through the lecture. What do you do when the great sage comes and joins? You have to start from the beginning. So he goes back to the beginning and says, okay, I'll restart it for you. And then another person watching Barker Paro Watson, he says, you know what? I've given the first half of the lecture once, now twice, I'll go back to the beginning and I'll start again for the benefit of Barker Paro. And then he's halfway through the lecture and then the third person walks in and again, he stops at the beginning. And again, he is halfway through a lecture and the great Rabbi Hanina walked in and he says, that's it. I've started this lecture now four times. I'm not doing it again. You have to just, I'm just continuing. So Rha'anina, he felt bad. You restarted your lecture for all these people, not for me. They said, I have agreement against you. So Rha'anina came to Rha'anina to go secure for duvness and every Arabian Kipper, for 13 years,

26:30every Arabian Kipper, they have for him Kipper, he went to Rha'anina and he refused to be appeased. And then Tom would interject to the question, wait a minute, 13 times is in three the limit. How could Rha'anina ask for duvness for 13 times? Well, Tomatelsis clearly, if that's three times, that's it. Says, the Tomat-Rav Shani, Rha'anina is different. Now, what does that to this means? Is it dispute? Rashi understands that this means Rha'anina as in the person named Rha'anina, the person who's asking for forgiveness. And even though normally most people you ask forgiveness three times, that's it. He wanted to be more strict with himself, so you ask even more times. The Rha'anina says, Rha'anina means a master teacher. Because Rha'anina was Rha'anina, if you cause pain to your teacher, there is no limit. You ask him even a thousand times until they forgive you. Now, there's an interesting epilogue

27:31to the story. Tomat asks, wait a minute, Rha'anina offended. Rha'anina. And Rha'anina asks forgiveness one year, two years, a third year, a fourth year, a fifth year, 13 years and forgive him. Why did Rha'anina not forgive? Rha'anina says, don't we know that if you forgo your grievance, Tomatelsis, then the Almighty forgives all the grievances that you did to Him. If you forgive other people they might be all forgive you. So why was Rav-Hanina resistant to the requests of forgiveness of Rav? So Thamatel's us really really interesting. Rav-Hanina was the head of the academy in Israel and he had a dream where he saw Rav being suspended from a palm tree which is a pretty interesting dream you'd imagine. But there was a tradition that he knew of that whenever you see someone in a dream

28:35suspended from a palm tree that means that that person is destined to become the head of the Aschiva. Now he himself was the head of the Aschiva. So he says I have a problem. I'm the head of the Aschiva. I know Rav is destined to be the head of the Aschiva and if I forgive him he's going to take over my position. And therefore what I want to do is to not forgive him in order to cause him to leave town and to move to Babylon because I know Rav is needed in Babylon and he's going to open up the academy there and he's going to unleash the great power of the Babylonian Torah world. And therefore I don't want to forgive him. I want to reject his entreaties of forgiveness in order to spur him to go have his wings sort of to go release his power and energy in Babylon and indeed Rav went to Babylon and founded the great academy there and the

29:38rest of course his history. So if you are someone who caused someone else pain even if it's minor pain even if it's verbal pain certainly if it's monetary pain before him Gipper there is a tradition that we want to go and get forgiveness why because our purification him Gipper does not happen for sins that a curfew man was fellow for interpersonal transgressions unless we asked and receive their forgiveness. Now it's very important on the flip side if you were aggrieved it's imperative that you be gracious in accepting the apologies of the person who wronged you. Talmud tells us that the great sages when someone else did something wrong to them they would try to encourage the person who did something bad to them to request forgiveness. They would avail themselves to the other person they would seek it out so to speak to enable

30:44the other person to have the opportunity to request for forgiveness from Zera the Talmud tells us when someone insulted him he would walk back and forth and back and forth in front of that person to try to spur that person to request forgiveness. The Talmud gives us also another wild story about Rav so the same person different episode with Rav there was a butcher a local butcher who insulted Rav. Now if you think about that that's like a crazy thing Rav was one of the most important people of all Jewish history. He together with schmoole was the founder Babylonian of the Babylonian Atora universe in the third century early part of the third century of the common era one of the most significant rabbis and sages of our history and some butcher offended Rav. So Rav said you know what that's a dimfirm kippur I want to make sure the guide gets forgiveness

31:45so I'm going to go over to him and I'm going to ask him for forgiveness which is a nice tactic when you know that someone doesn't want to you there's an altercation but really they're at fault if you really want them to secure forgiveness when you do is you apologize to them and that allows them to save face and they say you know what I was really in the wrong and I really feel bad and you really don't need to ask apologies for me I'll ask apologies for you it's a way to kind of help ease the other person to rectify and reconcile. So Rav says you know what really they should come to me the back butcher should come to me I'm gonna go to the butcher on the way he meets his student Rav Huno and Rav Huno says where are you going it's Ervium Kippur where are you going on this on this such trip since I'm going to the butcher I'm going to appease him so Rav Huno says what's gonna end up happening is something to die here

32:49this is not gonna end up well why this person if he's not extra sensitive to the feelings the great rabbi it's not gonna end up well for him so Rav arrives at the butcher shop and the butcher the time it tells us is hacking your way at the meat and he's taking a hammer and smashing the heads of the animals and he looks up and he sees Rav he says you Abba which was Rav Rav's first name so he called him my first name which is of course degrading go away I have nothing to do with you I don't need to talk to you I don't want to talk to you get out of my face that's what he told Rav when Rav came to him to try reconcile on Ervium Kippur and right then as he's smashing the bones of the animal one of the bones flew back in his face embedded itself in his throat and killed him on the spot for Funo's prediction indeed came true it's an amazing story Rav went out of his

33:57way to secure a forgiveness for this butcher but he butchered it and because he denigrated the great rabbi he indeed deserved to die tells us the Rambham a person should not be cruel when someone asks them for forgiveness rather they should be Noah cleared so easily appeased and difficult to angry and when the transgressor when the agreever requests for forgiveness they should forgive with a whole heart and with a desiring soul and even if the cause you lot of pain don't take revenge don't bear a grudge this is the way of the children of Israel and he says the the idolatism I quite like bring to the temple of the Givonim the Gibbonites who wanted blood who refused the requests and

34:58overtures of reconciliation and appeasement that's not our way now there's a final interesting question what do you do if you caused another person pain or loss and they're dead now and obviously you cannot ask them for forgiveness so the law is that you go to their grave and you bring ten people and you say for those ten people by the grave of the adrived person I have sinned to the Almighty God of Israel and to this person who's buried here I did this and this you spelled that what you did and if you owe that person money you give it to the heirs and if you don't know who the heirs are you give it to the court and then you've done what you can to secure forgiveness so what do we have over here we have an amazing day see I'm Kipper an amazing day and it is a golden opportunity they might as handy out pardons to anyone who asks for it they might as dispensing purity to all

36:04those who seek it it's a day of spiritual cleansing of spiritual restoration and that's being handed out freely but we cannot forget the other aspect of him Kipper any grievances that others have towards us you him Kipper will not work to heal them we have to secure forgiveness from those people and when we go the Talmud says we have to try to appease them it's not just to make a perfunctory shallow request for forgiveness we have to genuinely express our feelings of what we did and of course it's not easy asking for forgiveness demands that we humble ourselves and we all have a very hard time admitting guilt but this is an integral part of the umkipper transformation and on the flip side we have to try to be very magnanimous in forgiving others and you know what

37:09it's hard when we were wronged it stinks it's painful and it's really hard to let go of that pain and we could harbor ill will for years and years against someone who wronged us but on your Kipper we have to try to find the reservoirs of benevolence must drop that feeling that we could forgive others and just drop the grudge drop the grievance and move on of course we know that bearing your grudge is quite useless there's that old saying if you hold the grudge it's like swallowing a poison pill and expecting the other person to die it's fruitless when you maintain the tension and the discomfort and the grudge with someone else you gain nothing all you have is agony and one fewer friend and there's nothing quite as liberating as forgiving someone

38:15and letting that grudge be removed from your conscious drop the baggage you feel much better but there's also an extra perk if we want God to forgive us and of course all of us do and Tomah tells us one of the ways to get God to forgive us is by us forgiving others call Hamma Avir Amido Sahib if whoever whoever forgoes their grievance the Almighty for rose the grievance that he has towards that person and therefore we all want to forgive for some God and we all wronged God he did good to us and we responded with that to him we want his forgiveness one of the ways that we secure his forgiveness is by us forgiving others the way we treat others is the way God treats us moreover by us being a forgiving person we become a tool for accessing all kinds of godly goodness the Thamak gives a story in the book of tennis page 25

39:22b there was no rain and the great rabbi gets up and says 24 blessings and doesn't get answered and then Rabbi Akiva he gets up and says Afino Moutainu we have no God no king besides for you have mercy upon us and right away it started raining and everyone started kind of feeling a little bit uncomfortable the great rabbi Rebelleyezir gets up and there's no rain and then Rabbi Akiva gets up and it starts raining it seems like we know who's a greater sage and they hear a prophetic voice don't think their Rebelleyezir is a greater sage no his quality over Rebelleyezir is that he forgrows his grievances and this one does not forgo his grievances and therefore when you forgo grievances done to you by others you become a tool

40:22for accessing all kinds of godly goodness and the general idea is that by not forgiving other people we are a bit hypocritical why because we know about ourselves that we considerself to be relatively good people even though we may be state sometimes and therefore if we don't afford that same charitable treatment to other people it's not consistent we have to say you know what that person is also good person and they also make mistakes like I do and to help facilitate that there is a universal custom at the onset of Yom Kippur to say that Thelas Zakra you find it at the beginning of the Yom Kippur Makhsar and part of this prayer at the onset of Yom Kippur says the following I know that there is no righteous person in the world who never sins between men and his fellow either monetarily or physically deeds on speech and therefore

41:27my heart feels bad we say in this prayer because with respect to sin to man and once fellow Yom Kippur does not atone until you secure a piecement of your fellow and therefore you make the following declaration I extend complete forgiveness to everyone who is transdressed against me whether physically or monetarily gossiped about me slandered me if someone's injured me I want to forgive them and you know what we request that if we cause paint other people the Almighty will inspire them to forgive us as well your Kippur we want to emerge from it completely cleansed from all various forms of spiritual melodies both the sin to man and God and man in our fellow may we all emerge from Yom Kippur with a clean slate like a new person purified in the waters of atonement that are absolutely

42:29plentiful on this day as always my mother's is rabbi wallby at jimita kamiko is email me any questions or any comments of any sort rabbi wallby at jimita kam