Bob Hope - Guests Jack Benny and Doris Day

0:00This is Steve Covino from Covino and Rich. Quick trivia, fellas. Every guy listens contestant. Answer honestly to yourself. You got a belly in a little chest. Gasped by the afternoon, no drive left in the tank. You lack that confidence and mental edge. Those are classic signs that your testosterone's been sliding. And nothing drags it down faster than extra weight. So why not take matters into your own hands? Shrip off the weight that tanks your testosterone with Bioma, GLP1 booster. Every serving is packed with science-packed ingredients that crank up your natural GLP1 production. Visit bioma.health slash GLP1 and use code CR Show for 15% off your first order. This is Matt Rogers from Los Covidreces with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bowen Yang from Los Covidreces with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. You know when people try a new food and suddenly it's like, okay, hold on. I got a new favorite food. That's the reaction a lot of people are having when they first try Kupy Mayo. Yeah, it's the one with the red cap and the little baby on the bottle. You've probably seen it at the grocery store.

1:00And this Mayo is different. Most mayonnaise uses whole eggs. Kupy only uses egg yolks, which gives it this rich umami flavor. It's smoother, deeper, almost buttery. Once people try it, they start putting it on everything. Egg sandwiches, fries, burgers, chefs use it, restaurants use it, people who really care about flavor use it, put it on just about anything. Then you'll understand. Kupy, the original Japanese mayonnaise. I'm very energized. It's one of the many new drinks out now. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire. Try them all only at McDonald's. Well, I swung. Me too. So do I. How about you? Yes, it's the new swung show with our great singing star, Dora's Day. Well, I swung. A new singing favorite, Bill Farrow. That's me.

2:01Our guest, Jack Benney, Irene Royam, the four hits in a mist, the new Les Brown band. We swung exclusively how about you? Yes, how about you? Well, me, my name is Robert Hoppe long hope. And now Bob Holtz, Wong's Eye, View of the News. Princeton, New Jersey, hurried conferences and frantic elevisers were the order of the day here as the nation's poll takers sought to explain their disastrous error in predicting the results of last week's election. Dr. Gallup was amazed at the outcome, but he wouldn't, he was wrong. Last night, he was still peaking into the White House window and singing, maybe you'll be there. He was really unhappy when he saw the election returns. He explained, it's the last time I take a house to house survey

3:03from now on, I'm going to ask people. I called up Elmer Roepern, said, how can your predictions be so wrong? He said, you see, we mathematicians make a prodigious effort to ascertain by statistical and prognostication and political press to digitation the approximate parallelisms. I said, what does that mean? He said, where can I get a job? And last Tuesday night drew person set over the radio, I predict, Dewey will be elected by 10.30. At 11 o'clock, he said, I predict, Dewey, at 12, he said, I predict, the next morning, he said, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. New York, New York, phone company executives announced here today that telephones for automobiles were at long last, ready, unavailable for Mr. average motorist. I had a phone put in my car last week, but the wires must be crossed. Every time I step on the start of the spark plugs give a busy signal and the receiver squirts a quarter hot oil in my ear. But there are big help to the motorists.

4:04If a guy's speeding, he can look in the rear vision mirror, see a cop trailing him. Call his lawyer and the three of them can meet at the next intersection. But think what it will be likely to run when cars have telephones and television too. A guy's driving along, his wife calls up and says, honey, bring home a head of lettuce and carrots a cucumber and get that to made out of your car. Washington, DC, the greatest ovation in the history of the nation's capital, greeted President Truman as a crowd of 750,000 cheered his triumphant return to the White House. Yes, sir, was that a reception? From every window they were throwing confetti and old cabinet members. And the world, and the world will long remember President Truman's historic words when he returned to the White House. He said, it's okay, best you can send the laundry out now. When Harry got back to the White House, he started hanging up his coat,

5:04gov and her warrant stuck his head out of the closet and said, I'll be out of your way as soon as I pack up my oranges. The Democrats did so well in that election. They're even coming out with new products named after the President. They got a new thing now called the Harry Truman Popsicle. It's a frozen Republican on a stick. And with the election coming out the way it did, a lot of people had to change their plans. Now Margaret Truman has to go back to the White House and she had it all set to be the fourth Andrew sister. The three candidates have really changed their tune since the election. Truman's changed from Missouri waltz to its magic. Dewey's humming, say it isn't so, and Wallace is singing on a slow boat to China.

6:04Announcing only eight more days of the swan, 1949 Mercury contest. Only eight more days to win a brand new 1949 Mercury automobile. Right now, here are more winners in the Daily Mercury contest. October 19th, Mrs. Don Andrews of Portsmouth, Virginia. A new 1949 Mercury. October 20th, Mrs. B.V. Painter of San Diego, California. A new 1949 Mercury. October 21st, Mrs. Arlene Brewster of Topeka, Kansas. A new 1949 Mercury. October 22nd, duplicate winners, Mr. Fred S. Balsinger of Denver, Colorado, and Mrs. E. P. Williamson of Honolulu. Each win a new 1949 Mercury. October 25th, Mrs. Alvin M. David, Mill Waukey, Wisconsin. A new 1949 Mercury. Congratulations winners and remember folks. There are only eight more days to enter. Leaver Brothers is giving away a Mercury a day every day until November 19th. That's right, a Mercury a day plus $1,000 in cash awards daily. There's a new contest every day except Saturday and Sunday, and you can enter as often as you please. All residents of the continental United States, including Alaska and Hawaii, are eligible.

7:08Just be sure to follow the complete rules printed on free entry blanks at your store, and be sure to include your storekeeper's name. There's all you do. Finish the following statement. I like Swansop because in 25 words or less, then send a Swansop wrapper together with your name and address to Leavers Mercury a day contest. Post office box three, New York eight, New York. Well, I swan. A Mercury a day. That's right. Team win. Bye, Cracky. Here's the gal who was selected as the Archie Queen of the National Flower Festival, our singing Archie Miss Doris Day. Every day I love you just a little bit more, just a little bit more, a little bit more, a day before. You'll never guess how deep my love is.

8:11Not even in your wildest dream. But just so you get a clear, compared to my love, compared to my love, compared to my love, compared to my love, compared to my love, compared to my love, compared to my love, I love my dear, the Mrs. Cipney Rivers just a street... every day, I love you just a little bit more, just a little bit more, just a little bit more, just a little bit more, every day, I want you just a little bit more, than I did. I did the day before Then I did the day before

9:25Thank you Doris, thank you It was a great pleasure to have you here Ladies and gentlemen, you probably read in the papers last week That while making a picture at Paramount, Bob Hope tripped and tore a muscle in his right leg Now let's look behind the scenes and see how an accident like this affects the motion picture industry We take you to the production offices at Paramount where the heads of the studio Henry Geeksburg and Y-Free Frankman are talking Say YF, yes, yes, yes, I've been thinking We've got a lot of money tied up in that character Bob Hope And if his leg doesn't get any better, he may never be in another Paramount picture How could a thing like that happen to us? Oh, I don't know, just lucky I guess But why is? What will we do about Hope? His leg may be broken Yeah, too bad he ain't triggered, we could shoot him You know how this accident happened, don't you YF? Hope was doing that boat scene and as he tried to get on board

10:29He slipped and fell because somebody had put grease all over the gang plank You know, it looks like someone is out to get him Yeah, now remember, A.G. if there's an investigation we're in this thing together Well, it seemed like the easy way and while we're on the subject, YF, we've got to get rid of the lot of the actors over here They're getting too old Yeah, how about that crossby? Remember when we thought we had mice in the studio? We spent $5,000 to get rid of the mice and then found out it was crossby's joints that we're doing the squeaking You know why if I think Bing is about the same age as Hope? Yeah, I know it, if we put them in another road picture, the road's got to be downhill By the way, where's Hope now? He's over in his dressing room resting

11:37Oh, Dors, this pain is awful Oh, is it really that bad, Bob? Let me look at your leg Oh my gosh, it's all twisted out of shape, isn't it? That's the wrong leg Oh, gee, Bob, I hate to see you in such misery. Does it hurt much? Well, I don't care about that. I just wish it had been my other knee Why? Well, the knee I heard is the one with the dimple in it Now I'll never be able to wear my petal pushers with a split up the side Bob, Bob, I just don't understand how a thing like this could happen to you You're so strong and husky Am I? Yeah, and so loaded with vitality Honest? Sure Well, I always think of you as being a real he-man You do? Yes I have so much more than Gregory, why should I fight it? I don't know

12:39Say, it was sure nice of you to drop in, though, Dors, I wanted to Hello, Dors Hello, Mr. Holt Oh, hello, Miss Ryan Hello, Miss Ryan, how do you feel today? Well, you know me, I always try to keep my chin up even though my archers are falling I heard about what happened to Mr. Holt and I thought I'd come over and cheer him up Well, thanks, you see, I hurt my leg and I can't move, but it's nothing to worry about Oh, I don't know about that My uncle Julius had the same thing once in his shoulders And he couldn't move his arms The doctor made him leave them in one position Oh, that must have been terrible Well, it worked out all right When he died two days later His arms were already folded on his chin That's nice, Porsche faces life this gal backs into it Oh, God, Bob, you should listen to Miss Ryan, she can help you She's been through a lot of these things, you know Oh, yes, I've never really been all well all my life

13:41That is all I've been through And recently, Mr. Holt, it's been much worse Yesterday, I thought I was losing my mind All day long, I kept hearing voices in my head You were hearing voices in your head? Yes, but I found out what it was The bathroom, my hearing aid was low And I was still getting the election return Well, don't worry, Hoover made it, you know But it was nice of you to drop in, Miss Ryan Well, I do hope you get better Oh, that reminds me before I go I wanted to show you a picture of my uncle Julius Oh, that's right I'm going to tell you I'm going to tell you I'm going to tell you Before I go, I wanted to show you a picture of my uncle Julius And the one who died Well, what do I want to see a picture of him for? Well, you might get worse And if you don't pull through, it'll be nice if you know somebody when you get there She's teaching up now, so

14:43Oh, thank you If she ever gets married, she'll spend her honeymoon in the window of the Rexall drugstore Well, I have to be running along too, Bob I promised high-everback I'd meet him He's making a screen test over here Averback is making a screen test, you mean they run out of talent? Well, I think high will do very well in pictures because he just tests Hello, everybody, hello, Doris Hello, hi, are you ready for your screen test? Yes, Doris, I just came from the makeup department They didn't get your ears on straight At least my lobes are on the bottom Well, how about running through the screen test with me like you promised Okay, I have you the script Now, the scene we're doing takes place in the New York Penthouse We're social leaders and we're married, but we're splitting up Now, you have the first line, and I want you to play close attention to my life I want you to play close attention to my diction

15:43Montgomery, I'm afraid that you and I are through It's regrettable, but we can't go on Yes, Alice, I'm so sorry that we must split But I'm afraid we must go our separate ways Don't you think you're carrying too many pounds of pressure there? Well, I'll go down upside down, okay, it's all right Well, Montgomery, if we're partying Well, Montgomery, if we're partying I insist that you give me the house You may have the house And I want the Cadillac and the Tumorickery There yours, but there's one thing you may not have If you're speaking of the children, I want them You may have the children, my riches and my home But I insist that you leave one thing What? That cake of swan soap in the kitchen Give me federal, give this picture for a bubble This is Steve Covino from Covino and Rich All right, quick round of trivia Before we get back into the show

16:43But we're doing it differently this time Every guy listening right now, you're contestant No buzzers, no calling in Just answer honestly to yourself Here we go, you got a belly and a little chest That won't go away no matter what you try Gasped by the middle of the afternoon No drive left in the tank And lastly, you lack that confidence And mental edge, fellows, here's the thing Those are classic signs that your testosterone has been sliding And nothing drags it down faster than extra weight The good news? Emerging research suggests that getting rid of it May actually be more effective than TRT So why not take matters into your own hands Strip off the weight that tanks your testosterone With Bioma GLP1 booster Every serving is packed with science back And third party tested ingredients That crank up your natural GLP1 production So you can enjoy a leaner physique And increase drive Visit bioma.health slash GLP1 And use code CRShow to get 15% off your first order That's bioma.health slash GLP1

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18:57Do you not have the internet? It's the OG Japanese mayonnaise The one with the red cap and the little baby on the bottle Once you know what you start seeing and everywhere People ask what makes it different from basic mayo Well the answer? Egg yolk. Supi is made with egg yolks only Giving it this incredibly rich umami flavor that elevates everything Burgers, fries, sandwiches, chicken, noodles Chefs use it, restaurants use it People who really love food and flavor use it Whatever you're eating, cutie it So if you haven't tried cutie yet Find the bottle with the red cap And see what everyone's talking about You'll understand Cutie, the original Japanese mayonnaise Yes Alice, Alice take everything But please, please don't take that swan Swan is the newer, better white floating soap Swan never crumples like our dream castle did No sir, you can use swan right down to the last smooth sliver And why? Because swan is made by a modern patented process that no other soap can use

20:01A process that makes swan better for dishes and hands Swan is as mild as a finest cast-eal It protects your hands, keeps them soft and smooth He's right, my hands are so soft Well when I want to point at anybody I have to start one finger Oh Alice, Alice I can't leave you just think a cake of swan brought us together again I still love you And I love you, Alice I love you, Monty I'm engaged to the lever brothers Yes for your hands, your bath and for baby's bath Swan is the best soap for float When I swan Me too You're served by Kraken Here's our junior grunner we barred from the Oasis this week Then I did your old bill fairly There is no verse through this song

21:03Cause I'd have worn away the moment too long to say that I'd love to get you on the slow boat to China All to myself alone Yet you end keep me in my arms every moment Leave all your love Weeping on the far away shore Houd on the brining with the moon big and shiny Merling your heart of stone Yes I wanna get you on the slow boat to China All to myself alone

22:11On the real slow boat On the real slow boat On the slow boat to China That's my son for Cleveland, Billy Burrell Thank you very much Singing slow boat to China Now tonight ladies and gentlemen Tonight we're going to present a very different kind of thing here We have a thing here Musicians please no tuning while the star is on please Now as I was saying Please please hey you hey Evelyn stop with that magic violin I resent that

23:11Well Jack Vennel is up Jack what are you doing here? Some surprise We rehearsed nine weeks already Bob look at I heard about your leg And I heard about your leg And I heard about your leg And I heard about your leg And I heard about your leg And I thought I'd pay you a visit Well that's swellie Jack But how come you're sitting in with less browns orchestra? Well just once I wanted to play in a band And not worry about the leader's breath taking the varnish off my violin Well you don't have to worry about less Less hasn't been high since Patrillo picked him up to burp him But look It was awfully nice of you to drop in the seamy Jack Well I was sorry to hear about your accident Bob Yeah it's a little uncomfortable But the worst of it is whenever I hobble down the street People keep throwing money in my hat

24:17They do? That's how embarrassing that's terrible I must be awful Bob how much do you average a block? Oh it varies but take my advice Jack stay away from Beverly Hills nothing but doy buttons But I can't get over how nice it is of you to drop in on me Jack Well Bob that's the way it is with us troopers You know we show people have to stick together in these times of trouble Why as soon as I heard of your accident I rushed right over here to be the first one at your side Jack you came over just to help me Yes of course if you buy the insurance policy I have in mind it helps me a little too Jack why are you selling insurance? Well you see it's a little early to start unloading my line of Christmas cards But Jack I don't get this you're a wealthy man you're worth millions of dollars

25:19Whoops I'm selling insurance huh? Well if you got a sample policy you can show me there in your portfolio Holy lady Jack did you hear that? No no I didn't hear anything You sure you didn't hear that echo? No kid this is your show Well look Jack let's face it this is ridiculous you don't have to sell insurance you're a star They write about you in the Saturday evening post you're one of the outstanding comedians in show business One of them You don't mind me throwing that in there do you? No this is still your show Oh but you're really great Jack people stay at home on Sundays just to listen to your radio show I have so much more than Fred Allen why should I fight?

26:19Say wait a minute that's my gag I'll trade you for the yodel What will my sponsors say? Well I swam Yes sir Wait a minute I'll say you'll burp Wait a minute yes sir Wait a minute Wait a minute Easy Jack either we pedal the stuff this way or I have to put on a pair of water wings and sell it bathtub to bathtub My next line is a humdinger Baths up to bathtub huh? I have trouble with my sponsor too That's a dandy line thanks Bob I rehearsed four weeks for that line Well we were going to give you something you could get your teeth into but we weren't sure you'd have them with you tonight

27:29You wouldn't dare say that if you were still with Pepsid and other other ones Let's get back to this stuff huh? We'll never get through with this tonight look at you know Bob you know who has a sweetest page 15 you know who has a sweetest I'm not you know I have a sweet lover get off wait a minute I want to play the violin yeah wait a minute are we still on? You know I have the sweetest racket radio don't you the disc jockey disc jockey you mean one of those guys who says this next record is sponsored by the happy hunting ground funeral home And now the orchestra plays he's a real gone guy we haven't got time to wait for the one we try

28:29Please your laughs not mine please say why don't we try our hand at being disc jockey jack all we have to do is make the rounds of the music shops and pick up a couple of hundred records well I don't know for free truth the wax to me max We be great as a team of disc jockeys is he saying radio I can just hear it now good evening ladies and gentlemen you are listening to station SLO be the biggest on the coast And now we present jazzy jack bennie and bebop bob in the original radio record show make feel you wash room Hi again hi again this is your old disc jockey bebop bob with another knockout record section it's all on wax and it's real mad so you kids you want to get your kicks lace up your boots and last out of some of this frantic jive that we're gonna stand swinging your way right now cats alike to turn the mic over to a real happy character the man who knows all the answers in the world of jazz that solid jet my plat Apokner jazzy jack bennie hot job bodeo doh solid jack

29:37And now before we spend our next plan a few kids we like to tell you the next thing to have our show is sponsored by doctor capstaff's weight reducing plant we like a word with those of you ladies who weigh over 400 pounds You have the feeling that you're being followed you are it's you and you met over 400 pounds you have large stomachs when you get your shoe shine you have to take the boot black's word for it Why not try doctor capstaff weight reducing bell yes to take off those extra pounds try doctor capstaff's method no diet no pills no injections no exercise once a week doctor capstaff's comes to your house and beat you with a rubber hose And now we're gonna play our first record a little too called I'm dance with tears my eyes because the girl of my arms had onions for dinner Going to be played by Woody grubbiness and as you should live so long if you can find the melody orchestra hit it Woody Oh thanks Woody that was great look the bomb a bunch of new releases just arrived she does some interesting titles look at this when you used to be the cream in my coffee but now you're just grounds for divorce

30:40Get a loan of this one if you were the only girl in the world I was the only boy I wonder why play handball with it the why Here's my favorite hair gold eyes a blue lips like cherry wine I never should have stopped on with my bare feet say suppose we play that one right now okay but first the word from our sponsor yes This next record is coming to you through the courtesy of slushies the only breakfast cereal that shot out of a water pistol Oh you just love slushies they don't snap crackle and pop like other breakfast cereal they just lie there anew mother's you would cheer when you see the way your kids dive into a bowl of slushies they never come up again listen to what one happy user of Slusche has to say I've been eating slushies for nine on the 30 years and I want to tell you something I'm getting my entire Thank you F.E. Spoon a battle quick mission Hey Jack what's next on the turntable all the folks who just love this one yes sir it's a new release that features a duet by that

31:41Billion Young walkiegan violinist Benny Kabalsky and that new Cleveland singing discovery the velvet smile Yeah Always disease the west is west and the wrong what I have chose Let's go where keep on wearing those pills and flowers and buttons and bows rings and things and buttons and bow Don't bury me in this prairie take me where the she man grows Let's move down something down where they love a gal by the cutter her clothes and you stand out in buttons and bows Oh no practicing I kind please I love you in box and shirt that you won't stun I like you longer So your friends don't go to gun

32:44House to look for thoughts in a cactus hurts my tears I'll have to move swear gals keep you to know silks and satins and linen that shows and you were all mine in buttons and bows Thank you Jack I'm getting very much human fine That's fine Jack thank you Next week ladies and gentlemen Jack wait a minute Jack we have next week it's all over kids pack up Okay, we have another next week we have Morton Downey ladies and gentlemen that coach say okay Jack wait a minute It's all over Jack Jack wait Oh Oh I'm sorry for the memory of the vote in 48 a chance to demonstrate whom we endorse the card the course of our US ship of state

33:50Thank you very much ladies and gentlemen we'd like to pay a tribute to that fighting man from Missouri who stepped into the ring last Tuesday with the odds against him and came out the winner and still championed the USA president Harry S. Truman Mirror mirror on the wall is my hair first of them all It is when you use rave cream shampoo rave leaves your hair so clean so soft so easy to manage Easy to manage because the pure lanolin and rave especially blended with other important ingredients to make hair behave even on shampoo day Try rave cream shampoo r-a-y-v-e rave cream shampoo This is NBC the national broadcasting company This is Steve Kovino from Kovino and Rich quick trivia fellas every guy listening is contestant answer honestly to yourself You got a belly in a little chest gasp by the afternoon no drive left in the tank you lack that confidence and mental edge

34:51Those are classic signs that your testosterone has been sliding and nothing drags it down faster than extra weight So why not take matters into your own hands? Shrip off the weight that tanks your testosterone with Bioma GLP1 booster every serving is packed with science-packed ingredients that crank up your natural GLP1 production Visit bioma.health slash GLP1 and use code CR Show for 15% off your first order Meet the Red Bull Dragonberry Emergizer. It's one of the many new drinks out now Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire? Try them all only at McDonald's Toyota's easy choice sales event is on Whether you're looking for the performance of a camera, the versatility of Rav4, the efficiency of a Corolla or all electric driving in the BZ There's a Toyota that's just right for you and with great deals across the lineup now's the time to find yours

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