EP 3835 They will sum up your life in 1,000 words

0:00Hey guys welcome to this podcast today's episode. They will sum up your life in 1000 words When you die Somebody will stand up and give you a legit your funeral. It'll probably be 500 to a thousand words Then the next day everybody will go back to their life do the normal thing go to work and The world moves on Yet we spend so much freaking time being concerned about what people think what people say about us. I do we all do I would love to say that I'm immune to this, but that would be a lie Because I absolutely care About what people say about me. I think about me and often make shit up in my head about what people think or say Because I don't even have any evidence that that's true And that's a very normal human reaction because of that you know wanting to belong to a tribe monkey fight a flight brain All the stuff I've talked about a thousand times in this podcast, but it's absolutely the cats But when you can think that your life will be summarized in 500 to a thousand words any eulogy Nobody's gonna stand up in your eulogy and go well Sean was a prick and he did this and he did that and he

1:04Was it nice to these people or he didn't do this thing? They're the thing like nobody really cares about that stuff and In the midst of your normal life where people might be critical and there might be judgment and there might be Commentary made on certain things you do or don't do and they could be all sorts of shit like that sure does that happen? Of course it does is it important does it really matter? Absolutely not because Ultimately nobody really gives a shit about that stuff And when you can appreciate and understand As you move forward in your life and as you actually become More comfortable in who you are and what you do you become more comfortable in The person you are the decisions you make Then that becomes less and less and less concerning or even Permanent to you these days for me now. I absolutely Focused on being the best person I can be living with great integrity being as Positively impactful and helpful as I can be to people 100% But I have absolutely also learned to be far less concerned about people's opinions of me and be far more concerned about my

2:12own assessment of what I am I am not doing well in my life and As my life continues to go forward and as I continue to do the work to have that self-worth value confidence in Myself what I do actually be very Measured and as objective as I possibly can about what I'm doing or what I'm not doing well, etc My life just goes fruckin fucking so much better and I have better people in it I'm less concerned about the stuff that doesn't work and And I look back now and think I spent such an inordinate amount of my time So caught up on what people thought about me before and I didn't even realize it now. I'm like It's not it's still it still definitely takes up my time in my effort. Don't get me wrong, but it is so I've I've how I put it I Guess I have it so much more in control than I ever have is probably a good way to put it and these days I'm just like I know who I am. I know What my tendons are I know the things that I do well and I don't I

3:15Have some amazing people around me who are very open and honest with me about the things I do well or I don't I've Those people that I trust their opinions in their perceptions and perspectives of me so I'm talking to those people often and I also understand that I'm probably my own most critic. Well, I definitely my own most critic so Therefore whatever other people might say I do Can it be true for sure could people say I's arrogant and he's full of himself and he thinks he knows everything They could say that is that the case? Absolutely not they could say I just does what he does because he loves attention Do I love attention? I do I love the attention because the more I I balls I get on my stuff and the more people listen This podcast the more people can learn from the mistakes. I made and can live a better life If I decided tomorrow to shut down the Strong Life project never do another podcast never do another Instagram Video whatever what I can no I wouldn't give a shit Because at that point I would feel as I would fulfill that purpose I don't do this because I want to be a fucking influencer or have a profile or any other bullshit that people talk about

4:19In life. I just want to be happy and I want to fulfill my purpose of helping people and having a positive impact I want to contribute positively to the world and as I keep coming back to that then I go people who have a negative Perception of me they're entitled to that and it might be accurate Who knows but equally it might be driven through their own insecurity or fear or whatever I could be driven through anything, but I don't spend the time or effort really worrying about it So for you it's to understand that your urology will be 500 to a thousand words long and that will sum up your life and at the end of it once that occurs and They either cremate your body or you're put in the ground people will move on and Less and less people will think about you and as horrible as that is that's just fucking reality And if you think back three generations what we are great grandparents names. I have no idea. That's how short Our lives really are and how in consequential what we do is to other people we forget three generations

5:20ago I don't even know what those peoples names were So the judgment that we face and the criticism that we often hear particularly in today's society around You know social media not stuff of course. It's all the students stuff Then that amplifies it so I can feel as though there's so much more of it I definitely can see why people are more stressed and anxious about things in their life these days I can definitely understand how people get more concerned Because they think everybody's watching them because they're watching everybody else, but here's the really weird thing Nobody's fucking watching you actually nobody really gives a shit even massive things that occur in your life or things That you think are so hugely impactful people don't really give a fuck Because they're dealing with their own stuff And I look back now and think you know there's been things in my life like the whole PTSD depression leaving the police was freaking massive I was so stressed people will think I'm weak. They'll think I'm this from thinking like nobody gives a fuck about it And if they do they never tell me so who gives a shit?

6:22And I could tell you now I remember I've been out of the police ten plus years and There was someone said something to me and it was such a light bulb moment this guy I bumped into who I'd been in the cops with Ghost me I'll get a mate because where are you working now? Which is like like whereabouts in the police say you know remember thinking of yourself I've been out for a decade this guy doesn't even know that's how little people give a shit about what I do And if you put yourself like I do out on social media or whatever and you might get the negative comment and I'm very fortunate That doesn't happen very often but it does happen from time to time Then it can be the thing oh no, I'm I'm wondering if everyone thinks that I just go You know what if I'm doing what I believe is right? I'm coming from a place of integrity and decency. I'm trying to help people and be a better human Then if people misjudge that and then therefore they judge me or they're critical of me or they're like me then that's okay And I'm also very aware that I'm not going to be everyone's cup of tea and your life will be broken down into 500 or a thousand words in eulogy at some stage in the future and

7:25Nobody's gonna remember the mistakes you made nobody's gonna give a shit and Don't get me wrong that stuff still pops up from me from time to time and I go I'll know people might think this or that or the other thing or whatever even when I put out a social media post And it doesn't get a lot of traction. I go oh no I hope people don't think that I'm an idiot and you know, I really want to be able to help him and then I might It's such a vanity metric Of likes and shares and fucking comments and views and stuff and we just get so caught up in it And I talk about this stuff daily ideal clients all the time that I do workshops and keynotes on it I've been doing it for a decade and still it catches me out And still I go oh man there it is again you freaking moron But I don't beat myself up because I go that's just add natural Proclivity and wiring and calibration as animals as cavemen and women with our fight-or-flight monkey brain response all of the above Let it go move on do you best

8:25Being stuck in a life where we're so concerned about what happens and we're so Worryed about what people think and we get caught up on Am I wearing the right clothes? What's the right car to drive to people like? You know the whole idea where people spend in order amounts of time face tuning and filters and fuck for Social media post I'm like holy shit. We've just become a vacuous vanity driven Judgment terrified society and group of humans that if we actually got ourselves in a place that just only caring what we and the people we love Think about us Then we'd be in a much better place than when your life is gonna be broken down to 500 or 1000 words in eulogy The thing is we were born and bred and developed as a species to Know the opinions of maybe 30 people and maybe a hundred who knows but in a tribal sense We didn't know what was happening 10 kilometers away from us and we only knew what was going on in the tribe

9:26We were belonged we belonged to and even in that I am quite sure there was still plenty of people in that environment that won't You know that we're worried about what other people thought because nobody said anything or people didn't actually tell them They think or whatever might be the case so all of that stuff still would have been an issue But now there's eight billion people on the planet and when you put a social media post out or whatever Then it can feel as though all of those people are looking at it and judging you. That's why we drive ourselves and say We've just taken our very normal insecurities and put them through a filter and a magnifier by thousands of percent which puts us in a place of just being so worried about what people think Hence why depression anxiety is on the rise hence why people battle with mental health hence why all of these things When objectively we're in the best time in human history. So do yourself a favor just give less fucks about this stuff Understand the end of the day your life is going to come down to a speech given by somebody who loves you that might last six minutes

10:27And if you can look at it in that Perspective then it can show you that really none of this stuff matters particularly none of it is as anywhere near as Consequential or Challenging or important as we think and then as you can appreciate that and you can live your life in more of a Conscious way and in more of a way where you're just dealing with yourself and what you want and who you want to be Give less fucks about what people think you'll just be happier This one that fear contemplates today. That was an amazing day. Talk to you tomorrow I hope you enjoyed this episode always remember if you want the results you have to do the work If you want to know more about how I can help you and my story go to that stronglife project dot com but

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