Here Lies Reuben Kaye

0:00I tell you what, I did an RV trip recently. I've never done an RV. How do you take RV? Oh god. Is that too sniff it? Oh, I love you, Ruben. Well, hello there. I'm Mel Gadrooch and this is the podcast where celebrities put the D in death and no, they never put the D in dignity. They don't. Welcome to. There's a way. There's a way. We've been trying to snuffle this person for a long time. Imagine us with a large butterfly net. Now I'm thinking of the child catch. It's not the child catcher. Although it is a similar net. You know the one I'm talking about, the enormous, the enormous net. He's Australia's answer to a one person spectacular. The sort of man who, if I said, Gidey would instinctively reply mate and then immediately wonder why a middle class British woman

1:03was suddenly greeting people actually just stepped off the quantus light. He's a singer, comedian, drag act and professional boundary pusher with one of the most distinctive voices in modern cabaret. It is. I have listened to this podcast for so long and always dreamed of I can die happy now. Yes. Well, we hope you did. Well, I died joyously, I think. Never has that music been more apt somehow. It really is. For a guest. It's feet. Well, I know I look like Morticia Adams actually through a shop put. Right. There's always something a bit Nosferatu too, maybe. But I, that's that's really struck a chord in me. It felt like it resonated. More people needed to sing songs of my death. I felt I have loved,

2:04I have loved thinking about my death. Have you? Yeah. That's interesting because some people come in to this environment and they get genuinely spooked. You know, they see these plasticky flowers. They have plastic coming from. I know I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But they feel so real. If anything, they match me right now in their plastic content. They get spooked by the plinth and obviously, you know, all this, but it's nice to hear somebody come in and just say, I've been kind of reveling in this. I grew up. This is going to sound so cabaret here, but my parents didn't really bring me up in a lot of modern music. Right. Like I knew Michael Jackson as a pedophile before I knew he could dance. Right. So I got brought up and looked like Jacques Braille. And Jacques Braille has a song called The Funeral Tango, which is him imagining his funeral and all his phony friends and the, the history on

3:06X of their weeping. It's a great cracking tune. But also I was 10 being like, my funeral bit late. So I was a devious little homosexual even there. Thinking of deaths and funerals has itself in its own. It has an inherent ego mania. And because of that, like an enthusiasm and a fervor, oh my God, I cannot wait to plunge. So genuine, Ruben, genuine, genuine Lee. The way you said plunge, it makes me worried. Do I have, do I have a mediator here? There are witnesses. It was too lascivious and enthusiastic. It kind of was, wasn't it? I'm sorry. At the time, at the time recording, it is a Monday morning. So really got it. We've got to pace ourselves. We must. Coming up soon. Oh wow, I didn't notice that. No one ever does. I literally didn't notice that. No, no. Ruben, who does that belong to you? That's the very dear friend. Wow.

4:09Evening, bias remorse. By a new car, I'll be moving in. Let's get started. Sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana. You what? Yeah, great price. I even have seven days to love it or return it. So there's no. No, no bias remorse. More like buyers rejoice. I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it. Buyers rejoice. Buy your car today on Carvana. Limitations and exclusions may apply. See her 7-day return policy at Carvana.com. When fall comes back around, there's a sense of a reset. And new pieces from Lululemon's fall drop are an inspiration to push your goals and elevate your routines. As your calendar fills, easy to layer styles meet the demands of your day. And as you challenge yourself to try even more, versatile sets transition with you. The Lululemon fall line-up brings new levels of comfort and confidence, whether you're starting something fresh or starting something over. Check out the latest arrivals in store and on Lululemon.com now. Can I just say Ruben as well? One of the very few possibly than the only person to bring gifts.

5:16What? Yeah. Have you opened it? I'm obsessed. Now I want to do I want to do this because this is always fun. I'll go. Yes, you are the first person to get it right on the first try. Beca, really? Yeah. You can't be limp when you're opening a fan. Can you just hang on? That wasn't good. That wasn't good. No. Oh, that's gay rights. Look at that. Are you allowed to show that? Yeah. Okay, I think you might have to blow part of it. And I actually... Oh wow, I didn't notice that. No one ever does. I literally didn't notice that. No. No. Ruben, who does that belong to you? Just a very dear friend. Wow. Oh gosh, I didn't even... I literally didn't notice that. I didn't notice that. The color toning is so subtle. The color's... Oh, I'm going to have to stop looking at that now. But bloody nice to have a fan. It is. I mean, it's a good fan. It's quality.

6:22Yeah. Those children did such good work. Yeah. Oh, it's good. It's good on the hair. Is it? It's really good on the hair. Keep going. I'm sorry. Because what's happening is the front lovely bit is moving on its own. It's lovely. The lovely pop guild is gained independence. It's got it's got its own life. That's something on me should. Oh, it's really good. It's really good. Do you know the only person I've seen with a bigger fan is Shaka Khan? I'll take it. I'm happy to play seconds. This is so fun, isn't it? I'm actually going to use this on the tube. Yes. I'm actually going to... Yeah, I'm going to pull this out on the tube. Yeah, the perfect, the perfect thing to use on the tube. Yeah, absolutely. Because at time of recording, it is still quite hot. It's very warm. Isn't it? I hope it's not the sign of something more sinister to do. Oh, well, I think all about demise. I think that ship has already sailed. But listen, let's talk about something jolly, aka death. Ruben's so good to have you with us.

7:26Now we must journey onwards and your journey, my friend, has taken you here. Here we are at the pearly gates. There's a reckoning to be had, young Ruben. Do you think... Do you think you're going to get through? Do you deserve to? I'm still giggling at young. I don't... I have so many views about the afterlife. I mean, in my heart of heart, I just want us to stop and mold. I do have anything after feels cruel. It feels quite exhausting. Yeah, do we really need to go on? And then I also go, look, no one deserves eternal damn nations. That has to be reserved for some very specific people. Yeah. That means heaven is a real crowded. And there's nothing worse than someone virtuous. Am I going to have to spend eternity with them? So do I want to get in? But then I hate not being allowed anywhere. Yeah. I'm a white middle-class man.

8:31I want to have it. I want priority boarding. I want to skip the queue. And then I look back at my life. And I think I operate within a gray area of morality. I like that. So I think... I think I don't think I would be on the list in heaven, but I do think I could charm the bouncer. Oh, come on. Just one little look over the old... one of these, isn't it? It is just one of those. Or two, depending. I mean, yeah, I don't think you're going to have a problem. But a good thing becoming boring is like an ultimate punishment. A beautiful, wonderful thing that you enjoyed and suddenly you have no taste for it because you have surfeit. You have enough of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's in itself a punishment. So for me, the cessation is the gift. And that sounds like an

9:33endorsement object. Can I thank you for surfeit and also cessation? I love those words. Thank you. Surfeit and cessation. My new favorite one is bolcanise. What? Bolcanise. Bolcanise. Bolcanise is when something or even a state has a can't continue, so it breaks apart into little states and like the Balkans. I see. Because I've been thinking about the US and what is the future of the US? Is it going to be a bolcanise? I can't see a way for the US to continue in the way because what's happening now, we can't sustain. So I'm like, what is going to happen? Is it going to be another civil war? We can watch a superpower fail. And when I think about my death, nothing gives me greater comfort than to think about the demise of something as big as the US because if it can happen to the US, it could happen to me. I tell you what, I did an RV trip recently. I've never done that. How do you take RV? Oh, God. Is that too sniff it?

10:36Oh, I love you, Robin. I love you. RV as in the olds. Double hand job? As in. Oh, like a car. I've got it now. I've got a car. I'm normally in the back seat of the Uber. I don't drive I am driven. This is a wide wheel. The RV, the recreational vehicle. Oh, I've had one of those. It's a nickname. Oh, God. I'm not going to get to the podcast. We're not going to get to the bogger. Oh, we're deep in the podcast already. Trust me, we are deep in. All this is going in. This is gold. When Mel Gaderoyd says the word to plunge deep in, all this is going in. I'm thrilled. Oh, God. We were in the recreational vehicle in Kansas not long ago. Had to go mid-made west,

11:36middle of the room. Oh, my God. America's broken. The roads. Don't tell anyone. The actual roads are broken. They're all kind of like, they're big sort of casters. Anyway, we're not here to talk about that, but it is really interesting. We do a podcast after this. Can we go on a road trip through America? Yes, please. And smuggle ourselves in. They won't have to look at my phone. Yes, yes. I'll go out of makeup. Totally up for that. Yeah, like, trackings in Dubai, just like with the sunglasses on. Now, Ruben, I don't think I've ever actually talked to you about food. Are you a cook? My favorite thing in the world is cooking for friends and cooking for people. Food for me is a connection. It's a pathway. It's a show of affection. It's love. And it's a real emotional cornerstone of my life. So for me, food is more about comfort.

12:39And the thing that I make. So I have the recipe for chicken soup tattooed on my arms. You're kidding. No, I have a recipe for chicken soup on my butt. My grandmother used to make chicken soup. My mom's really got a very good pat. I know. Put them in. I know. We had to do some delicate work. Tiny. No, it's just, it's an engra, it's a medieval engraving of a rooster, a pot with water and then a fire. I love it. Just three, like a little triptych. I love it. Yeah, a consensual triptych. I send it. It's a terrible joke. Coming up soon. Oh no, this is the wrong room. I'm so sorry, everyone. Can you just come over? You actually in the bamboo room. In the bamboo. And what was there? Nothing. Tea and some cold sandwiches. Whenever fall comes back around, it always feels like a fresh start. This year, I've been layering in some styles from the new Lulemon fall drop because the weather is shifting and I find I have to be ready for the entire day and not just one part of it.

13:41Lulemon's fall line has some really versatile transitional pieces so I can just wake up, throw on a matching set, add a jacket or a fleece and head out knowing that I'll feel comfortable enough to go wherever the day takes me. Check out the new fall arrivals in store and online now at lulelemon.com. There is so much NFL on ESPN right now. Monday night football plus pregame and postgame. NFL live NFL prime time. Everything you need to stay on top of every game every week. And now NFL network is on the ESPN app. More football, more coverage, more ways to watch. Football's on. All season long on ESPN and streaming on the ESPN app. Teens share everything. That may include the bacteria that can cause men and jacoccal disease known as meningitis, even if your teens been vaccinated in the past that could still be missing meningitis vaccinations. Ask your teens doctor or visit meningitis.com today, sponsor by GSK.

14:44Well listen this leads very nicely thank you onto this. So will it include the famous suit? Do you know what? I was thinking maybe it should just be oysters and a crisp martini because even in death I want to be my goal weight. Right. But then I met I met this slim pick and ready for fashion week. And I thought no, no, I want to be happy and gorge and satiated. So I want warm, crusty bread with salted butter and I want chicken soup and I want a fat steak with crisp greens. And then I want I want desserts upon desserts. I want me for I want things with creme patissier. I want my luck. The doctors last words about lucky he died because the gout was heading north.

15:45Like yeah, but I can just be legless not because of the booze because diabetes and gout have taken both. Oh my god. Well, it won't matter. It won't matter. This is the other thing about health. Like health itself is transitory. So when someone gets to 80 that's why I let it all go. Try heroin. Yeah. No, I you know, not that I would encourage people to go out and use heroin at all. But I think it was the Peter Cook. I will. I do it. Go do it. If you're 80 you can't fit your belts anymore. So use it for something good time round and arm. Yeah. That's not the advice we give it. My mom is me going. Yeah. My mom is. She turns 80 this year. Oh, you're not going to ask her to do it. Are you? No, no, no, no. But she has said that she's going. She wants to go into a home. She's picked out of her home because all my family are very good at planning and organizing their demisers and their things before. My mom was the same. Absolutely. Yeah. And makes it easier for

16:51those left behind. Yes. So when my dad died, all we had to do was call the funeral home. And so he's kicked the bucket and they did everything else. But because dad didn't want to be a bother, he chosen, I don't know if I can say the name of the company, simplicity, funerals. He didn't want to spend any money. And bless him. The funeral, we just got them in. We wish we could have had a bit of, we wish we could have put a bit extra in for this because it was bare bones. And then I'll bless Darius, the lady, our funeral manager. She accidentally ushered the mourners into the wrong reception room. And that reception room had put on a spread. They had booze. They had hot food. They had the sausage rolls. They had everything. Did you all get involved? Well, they all walked in and then suddenly, oh no, this is the wrong room. I'm so sorry, everyone. Can you just come over? You actually in the bamboo room? In the bamboo? And what was it? Tea and some cold

17:55sandwiches. And it just felt merely because also, I don't know, you don't want a funeral suppressing enough. You don't want the food to be a suicide note. No, you need, you need a hot food. But food of our memory, food and comfort that brings people together. That's where you feel the best to share stories when you just undone your pants. So I, my last meal, I want to be a banquet with friends. Sounds great. It sounds great. I love the way you use dessert in the plural as well. Back to me, signified the variety, the trolley. I had the most incredible tiramisu at the weekend. You must tell me where? Pistachio homemade. Homemade by a friend. Pistachio. I need the number. Oh, pistachio. Pistachio is having such a combat now. It's like nationalism. Yeah. It's really everywhere. It really bloody is. Pistachialism. One could call it.

18:55Now, detail, detail, dear Ruben, and it's sad detail, but the best. What happened? I went through so many options here because my mind raced with possibilities. My first thought was orgy in the Olympic village. Well, how? I'm with you. Yeah, I'm with you. I dive in excess of pure pleasure. And the paramedics arrived to find me wedged between like a toboggan team and a water polo team. Like the way you'd restore the settings on an iPhone. And they have to extricate me from it, right? That's my big favorite. Maybe not sorry to interrupt you. Maybe not the actually know the equestrians are hot, aren't they? Or the equestrians are hot. The equestrians are hot, but they're also wealthy. Yes, and a bit. They're a bit pussy. Yeah, yeah. But do you know what they know? They're way around the saddle. That's that's very, very handy. And if they wear the white joggers, I'm in. Absolutely. Do you have

19:58carols by candlelight here? Yes. So in Australia, we have carols by candlelight. I say yes. I think we do. I could tell a wise thing. Oh, oh, it's not on team. So there's a show in Australia, an event called carols by candlelight or carols in the domain. Each city has one and at Christmas time. And they you gather in the outdoor auditorium and everyone has little candles. And then all the great showbiz stars get on stage in their red dresses or their Christmas suits and sing Christmas carols. It's the most wholesome part of Australia's showbiz calendar. It is a dream gig of mine. I will never get on it because I will never let me and I just I want to do it so badly because I love all the great Christmas carols were written by gay Jews. True. And I just love it. So I think maybe I finally get booked on it. But sadly, I die of a spest-os poisoning when I accidentally

21:00tried to snort the set. Wouldn't that be fun? Oh, God. I'm just trying to imagine what it's like. Is it in daylight? No, it's at night time. It's at night time. Okay. Okay. Okay. Because I just always think of Christmas in Australia as just being really sunny. It is. It's boiling. It's boiling. It's really boiling and sunny. That's why we have seafood. But how does that sort of? That's why we do it at night to night. It does at night. It cools down a little bit. Yeah, but it's still quite. It's a little it's a little muggy, but it tends to be especially in Melbourne because Melbourne is so far south. Yeah. And we get the wind straight off the Antarctic. Okay. Okay. So does Santa still put on all the garb or is there a sort of? Yeah, that's the we have been we have absolutely inherited the Anglo-European Christmas furthest is poor Schmuck, this actor who's in a fat suit, a beard, a red fur suit with the jackboots, which always feels a little bit daddy to me. And all the fake fur and the huge sack and he is like dripping in sweat. That's not pleasant to

22:02sit. They've got an EKG machine at Side Stage Ready for him. And he has to go, oh, oh, oh, and meanwhile he's saying this is not worth the equity minimum I'm getting paid for this bullshit. But it's just the best. And I know what I'd sing. I'd sing either Barbara Strysan's Arrangement of Jingle Bells, which is the most manic that you've ever listened to. Or it's my favorite God help the outcasts from Hunchback of Notcher Down. Oh, hang on. Give me a little. I don't know if you can hear me or if you're even there. I don't know if you would listen to a humble prayer. And the question is, God help the outcasts hungry from birth. Show them the mercy. They don't find on earth. It's such a beautiful song. That's really lovely. I love to sing. Oh, you've got to get on parrots by candlelight. I think it might happen. To know what with your endorsement. Come on. Let's work on it. Yeah, that'd be so good. But you actually,

23:07did you actually die while before? Yes, of course you did because you snorted the set. I know. Just backstage just as I got there. But actually, then I thought, I thought maybe because I know I know a lot of people on this podcast love to do a death on stage. So many of them. Yeah. And they all started a hard attack or something like that. Yes. I think I'm on stage delivering my finale. And I spontaneously combust. And upon examination after they've humtied, dumped me together. The, I'd say post-mortem, but let's be honest, assembly reveals that I just had too much talent in my body for my corporeal form to accommodate. And it was like, it was like, it had to go somewhere. It had to, it had to. Like a sausage, an unpreicked sausage and hot fat. I just burst. I emulated from sheer talent. I love it, Ruben. I love it. Now, as always, deathlings,

24:14you are the ruddy lifeblood of this show. They've been very, very good this week. In the bouquet there to your left, dear Ruben, there's a little notelet. There's a little notelet. If you wouldn't mind reading out, is that good? Yes. Yeah. Hello, male gods and goddesses. I've recently had to confess to my flatmate that I've been helping myself to her cola when she wasn't looking. They're ever stating it. Cola worries me. Cola is a red flag. Cola worries me. Sounds cheap. Sorry. It does. Sounds cheap. Like it might not taste very nice, but do you carry on? One evening, but also one evening I fancy the glass is a very, very fancy sentence to someone who's stealing their housemates' cola. You're in a sharehouse. Grow up. One evening I fancy the glass

25:20but couldn't be bothered to go to the shop. So I grabbed a bottle from the fridge that only had a little bit left in the bottom. No, you've lost me. I poured it, took a big gulp, and immediately realized it wasn't cola. It was soy sauce. I like this story. You've got what you deserved. I hope you're a silly act too. After a fit of coughing, my flatmate came downstairs and found me doubled over the sink, doubled over the sink. That's grow up. It's just a bit of salt to you, mommy. We've all done that. We've all been to Catholic school. Turns out she's suspected someone had been drinking her cola. Someone, how many people are in this slum you live in and had filled the last bit of bottle with the soy sauce to catch the culprit. As I stood this bluddering, she simply looked at me and said, well, mystery solved and then proceeded to rightfully vent her frustrations. I've never felt so embarrassed or so impressed. Kylie, Francis. Sorry.

26:22Two first names, his name. I don't trust that. My dad used to mark the tonic bottles in the fridge so that he would know if we'd swigged. It's amazing how many of our dads exhibited signs of neurodivergence that none of us ever clocked on to. Oh my god, completely. My dad's stationary draw was cooked. Yes, now I think about it. Yeah, all those dads were really into trains. We never really all wondered about it. Those are the same dads who go, oh, new autism doesn't exist. Oh, does it? Is that your special chair? Anyway, so good. Well, listen, Kylie, I hope things got back to normal in the old. Buy some cola. If I treat yourself, buy some coke. It's only, it's not that much a gram. Yes, yes, true. Took you a second. How did you? I just got a full endorsement of class A substances from you before you realized what you'd said. National treasure mill. Oh, god. Oh, it's all gone a bit rushy soon, isn't it?

27:27How also wild. How can you imagine someone that tedious doing co-cancel? I know. It gives the rest of us a bad night. Yes, I have just endorsed coke. I think I endorsed heroin a little bit earlier as well. Things are going well. Well done. One thing I will heavily endorse is your new show. Oh, thank you so much. Show, as I should say. There's a lot going on, isn't there? There are releases on YouTube. There's all sorts of things going on. Tell us everything. I'm a very busy bee. You blooming our multi-platform. Queen of the hive multi-platform. I'm just fantastic. I'm taking that. Yes, I've just released music on iTunes and Spotify, any streaming platform and any of the ones that really push drones, I'm there for. And then I've released my new special. It's not a new special. It's my first ever show. The butcher's back. So exciting. On YouTube for all of the deathlings to view for free. Amazing. So magnanimous. So charitable.

28:29Then I have my lineup show, The K-Hole, which is sort of like a queer punk protest party for the end of the world. It is outrageous. We've sold out the Clapham Grant for the last few years. I love the Clapham Grant. And this year we're at the Soho, we wanted a bit more space. And we have incredible acts doing outrageous things with their body. It's a real joy. And I suppose you collect people, don't you, Ruben? As you go along, I know that you've got the kind of artistic directors eye looking for new acts, looking for fresh meat always. But also it's to feed the circus maximus in all of us. Yeah. None of us have attention spans anymore. I've already been scrolling for half of this interview. I know. Just with your eyes. So I saw it in your eyes. So I have to, and I want to find all these different artists, amazing artists who are doing incredible things because I don't know the long may they live, long may they live.

29:29They can be quite outrageous to be able to walk out and say most acts have a safety warning saying, don't try this at home. But here at The K-Hole, we say, be my guest. Go home, see what you can do with your body. That's my whole name. It's incredible. It should be, there's a horse in Turkey, you paid for it. Oh gosh. I'm exhausted, but in a good way. In a good way. Oh, now listen, I've got a feeling this is going to be a vintage this one. Yeah. I don't think this is going to be a simplicity funeral. No, it can't be a simplicity funeral. I believe that funerals should be a celebration, 100%. But also I'm a lot gets made of queer joy in the world. Something to be

30:31preserved and something to be looked after right. I'm a fan of queer spite. And I think spite is the engine that changes the world. And that's what's going to keep me going. So that being said, we're talking state funeral. Carriage, gun carriage. Absolutely. Gun carriage. 21 guns salute. Of course. No firearms or the men are nude, but still a 21 gun salute. Lovely. Maybe a cannon if he's in doubt. Maybe the chap on the fan. Fantastic. And then I want my body prepared for viewing. Right. Right. Right. Open casket. Face down. Sure. People recognize me. Everyone needs to pay their respects. Hands in the music. I thought you I thought you said a hand, Zimmer. And I thought I thought you were in your gestures. I'm sorry. I thought why do you need a Zimmer for your hands? No, no, no, hands, hands, hands, Zimmer, hands in the music. Electronica.

31:35Well, I mean, hands in the music for the lion King's or Kessler, his versatile as all the best ones are hands in it is doing the music. I want to be paraded through London and every major city in the world. I want outpouring of mourning. It's a tour. It's a tour. It's like a share fair well tour. I want people to leap from national monuments clutching my portrait. I want wailing and gnashing of teeth. I want banquets. I want I want impoverished communities to lay offerings. Like they do for chairman Mao. They still do. They come in from all over China with Oh, God. Anyway, yes. I want my body to be preserved for viewing. Okay. And I want because they need to know that my ass is magnificent. You said before it's small, but it's pertinent, my tea. And also we want to see that chicken soup. That's it. The recipe for chicken soup must have

32:37gone. But I want my body to sort of become like it could be like a religious relic. The people make pilgrimages to see. I think my ass might be able to heal the sick. Oh, wow. The beauty and magnificence of my cheeks. And so many people would have like a gray fryer's Bobby. Well, exactly. In Edinburgh, who's the little statue of the dog who was very faithful and sat on his master's grave after he died. And the little statue the nose is golden. Gold from people rubbing it for luck. Exactly. So something similar going on. Oh, absolutely. And like a dog's nose, if my ass is shiny, it means I'm healthy. It's I want the lame to walk. And I want the blind to see after just touching my ass. Oh, my God. I love this. I think my organs should be given to the med school, just so the med students can have a laugh. But I do want my testicles to be turned into diamonds because of how good they are under pressure. That's where I'm at at the moment. Two two diamonds. Two diamonds.

33:43Anything that's left over like the ashes, anything left over, I want half of them to be thrown in the faces of people I hate. I have a list. And the other half, I want to be hidden into the salt and pepper shakers at the American bar at the Savoy. Oh, wow. Wow. This are the detail on this. I told you I had so much joy and spare time. It's amazing. It's amazing, there was one final wish. Oh, my gosh. There was one final wish. The name of every closeted politician and sportsman that I have slept with and there are many are to be projected onto the sales of the Sydney Opera House. So each one, each one, by a period of months, because I'll have to run through the list, of course. I love that. It will all be done. It will all be done. Thank you. Have no fear. Coming up soon. Neek apps are rated from years of

34:45begging producers to put them on TV. The teeth smashed from the mouth of a 12 year old Romanian orphan. The face of an old brick. Whenever fall comes back around, it always feels like a fresh start. This year, I've been layering in some styles from the new Luleum and Fall drop because the weather is shifting and I find I have to be ready for the entire day and not just one part of it. Luleum's fall line has some really versatile transitional pieces, so I can just wake up, throw on a matching set, add a jacket or a fleece, and head out, knowing that I'll feel comfortable enough to go wherever the day takes me. Check out the new fall arrivals in store and online now at Luleum.com. Whether you're going on a quick trip or up and down the northeast, we'll make sure you do it in comfort with no middle seat and plenty of leg room stretch out without ever stressing out.

35:47Book a traffic free getaway at Amtrak.com. Amtrak. Retrain travel. This episode is brought to you by Caesar. If you're looking to serve your dog high quality dog food, just eat Caesar. Whether it's a protein rich beef recipe or savory chicken and vegetable dinner, Caesar offers a variety of delicious meals made with freshly crafted, slow cooked ingredients. All designed to support your dogs everyday nutrition without compromise. So if you're looking to serve a meal your dog actually looks forward to every single day, they should totally just eat Caesar. Learn more at Caesar.com. I know so many people who would want the last word on me. There are so many people, but I really I really could only think of two people. I'm excited. I am excited. How did you choose, by the way? Don't give the person away, but how did you choose? They were available. Lovely. So we need, here we go. Ruben K. The Agatha Trunchball of Cabaret contributed more to the Australian Cabaret

36:53scene than any other performer if we're measuring in liquid quantities. His deceased body now lays out like his singing flat. Ruben had a speech impediment when he was a child, which we now knows an Australian accent, but he overcame it. The thinking man's Lisa Manouli, his death was a huge loss to entertainment. On the very day he died, the air was filled with the desperate whales of the British public crying. Who? But Ruben was a dear dear friend to us. It only took him five years to learn that our names are Nicola and Rosie, not flow and Joan. And until the day he died, he still would not accept that Nicola was just a small woman and not a butt plug to be conquered. It's true. He was taken far too young, although he never did reveal his true age. The post-mortem suggests the knees of a pensioner, kneecaps eroded from years of begging producers to put him on TV. The teeth smashed from the mouth of a 12-year-old Romanian orphan. The face of an old brick. Ultimately, morticians found that he was so full of other people's DNA

37:54that they couldn't get a clean reading. Big and stature and even bigger in personality. It is fitting that his final journey is being lifted on the shoulders of others. Those twink poor bearers having to carry his heavy load out of a church one last time. Ruby, it's been a challenge. Sue and hell. I didn't even know there were cordonicola and Rosie. No, I didn't. Flownja, I thought I know which one is which. Oh, they're gorgeous. That was absolutely brilliant. Can I just say, if you haven't spotted this, Ruben has brought his own fan. Which has been on solidly. Do you want to go up? Do you want to go to the office? Can we? I don't even know. I'll see the other one. There we go. One more thing left to do. Dear Ruben, which is... Yeah, preps. Every expense period. Here we go. Now, props. You genuinely look really excited then, Ruben. I have. Yes. Now, you may have thought

38:58the reckoning, the pearly gates, all that stuff. What did I do on earth? You know, where do I deserve to go? No, none of that. It's down to this. We'd like you please to spin, to spin for your sins. But thank you so much for coming, Ruben. It's always a delight to see you. You are the best. It is just a joy to spend some time in your aura. And this, my friend, directly after this podcast is going to be used on Great Britain's national, not express. I don't take the national express coach, not two miles. They're for longer journeys. The Elizabeth line. Fantastic. Which has aircon, but I don't care. I'm going to go aircon. Still using it. Plus fan. Now, which way do I spin? Right. Now, here's the thing, to create the jeopardy. You spin. To create the jeopardy. My god, the stakes are high. Here. Really they are. The camera will get the jeopardy. You spin. Yes, give it a good old spin, Ruben. And there will be

40:00a lot of jeopardy. Here we go. Doobalon, Tondra. I love that. Oh, my god. What have I done? What have I done? This has only happened in my tenure in this chair. I think I'm going to say twice. You've been reborn. What? The world needs more. Ruben. Ruben. You mean an uncle? An uncle. It happened just the way you wanted it. I'm so excited to be an exclusive club. Also, imagine going to the pearly gates, negotiating your way in and then saying, sorry, darlings. Yeah, I must go. I'm needed elsewhere. I can't possibly fit another thing in. No, thank you. I've got another spin. So good. You have got another spin. And for that, we are eternally grateful. Ruben, thank you so much for coming on the show. It's always a joy. This has been an absolute pleasure. When I die in my second life, can I come back? Yes, please. Oh, please. Come back as many times as you want.

41:04Doobalon, Tondra. Edinburgh, 27. No, you're not going to do Edinburgh, 27. 2028. 2028. No, 2030. 30. 30. 30. Yeah. Three nights at the Edinburgh Playhouse. And staying at the Caledonian Hotel. Bye. And with that, another celebrity has made their final exit stage left. Ruben K is heading for a celestial cabaret where the band never stops playing and every night is opening night. Given half a chance, he'll be leading the sing along before the rest of us have even found our seats. We'll be back next week with another freshly departed guest. And if you can't wait that long, why not check out our, I'm sounding smug, but it is a really brilliant back catalogue. Or as I like to call it, the argos book of the afterlife. Brimming with celebrities you didn't even know you needed. Until then, stay mortal. You're listening to Weathers A Will As Awake with me, Mel Gedroydch. The senior producer is Charlie Morrell and the junior producer is Ronnie Pressgod. Otherwise known as The Godesses. The engineer is a gull of a Lawrence

42:06Tickle, Matthias Torres and Joshua Gibbs. Marketing is by Agnogie Spence. The executive producer is Oli Wilson. Special thanks to Chris Skinner. Music is by the Wrathbones. When Fall comes back around, there's a sense of a reset. And new pieces from Lululemon's fall drop are an inspiration to push your goals and elevate your routines. As your calendar fills, easy to layer styles meet the demands of your day. And as you challenge yourself to try even more, versatile sets transition with you. The Lululemon Fall lineup brings new levels of comfort and confidence. Whether you're starting something fresh or starting something over, check out the latest arrivals in store at on Lululemon.com now.