Hour 3 - Wheeling and Dealing

0:00This is an I Heart Podcast. Guaranteed Human I survived nine months in captivity and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the survivor files. Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the survivor files with the Elizabeth Smart on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering the ride on his motorcycle. I choose option B. I'm Julie Pinero and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility.

1:03Listen to Solita on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Our hometown is not a test tube. 90 miles northeast of Nashville, a battle for the future of America plays out in one small town. Developers with right wing ties have purchased hundreds of acres of land. We need cities on a shining hill. This is our town, a podcast about what happens when a small town becomes the site of a social experiment and fights back. Guess you didn't move in on a bunch of dumb hillbillies now, did you? Listen to our town on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. College football will hijack your weekend, ruin your sleep and break your heart. And that's why we make the Solid Verbal College football show. I'm Ty Hildenbrand. He's Dan Rubenstein. Every week we preview the games that matter in the storylines that are going to ignite your group chat.

2:03And you can join us in the aftermath as we react to what happened, why it matters and how the sport went completely bonkers yet again. Listen to the Solid Verbal College football show on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. The entire draft room groans because you just took the guy they wanted. There's no better feeling than crushing your fantasy football league. I'm JJ Zacharyson, host of the award-winning Late Round Podcasts. Before your draft, our players to target and players to avoid episodes tell you exactly who to circle and who to cross off. Listen to the Late Round Fantasy Football Podcasts on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. It's a thriller by Godzilla. It's our number three. Ben Malas show. Check out the fifth hour podcast up and running wherever you get your podcasts. Well, here in our number three, Von Miller has made a trade. He gets his number 40 number 40 Jersey.

3:06And the full back who had bad Jersey gets ownership in a chicken business. Who won the trade? We're going to break this trade down. Should NFL teams stop posting practice clips if they don't provide proper context, the Kelsey brothers were bitching about that. We'll discuss that business of viral clips and also Kawaii Leonard conflicting statements on whether or not he was aware of the NBA salary cap rules. How does that reshape the situation will go there as well. All of it coming your way right now. Here it is our number three. The Wheeling and Dealing just before the big NFL season. Welcome in the beginning of another hour of the Ben Malas show. We are in the air.

4:07Every where inhabitants. As we are your belly aching laugh of fun coast. Unless we're not coast a coast, border to border in beyond on the vast and rollically powerful microphones of FSR emanating on the dome. The heat dome on the microphone. Gare on teed human from the world famous Fox Sports radio studios where everybody Mikey in Tucson and Rob over in the three to one even Andy and Lionel Lakes Minnesota all agree that they love. Especially when we tell you about we both time to get your financial portfolio game ready. That's right game ready with we both get powerful investing tools and real time data all in one platform get started by downloading the we both app today or visiting we both calm we both financial LLC member SI PC fin raw.

5:17Investing involves risk for more information visit we both calm slash disclosure. So we did have a trade in the NFL not getting a lot of attention because the link Kiffin story. It's out of Dallas. That is our lead story this hour out of big D there and trade in Jerry's world. If you have not heard yet. Maybe not the Dallas Cowboys and past Russia Vaughan Miller. Have acquired the number 40. Now that's not the number 40 draft pick that would be. Literally the number 40 from full back Hunter Lipke. That's right hunter Lipke the full back for the Cowboys who will switch to number 30. That is the transaction now in return. Lipke received an undisclosed ownership stake in Vaughan Miller's chicken company. Yeah. Yeah. He traded a number for an ownership stake in a chicken company.

6:20Now we're not sure how much he got lipking negotiated supposedly according to Vaughan Miller very aggressively. He was seeking 2% equity and according to Vaughan Miller that would be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars to own 2% of the chicken, the greener pastures chicken company. So that's the deal. That's also a good jumping all point. Let us discuss the question. Vaughan Miller gets his Cowboys number 40 Jersey. While the Dallas full back Hunter Lipke gets ownership in a chicken business. So who won the trade? Who won the trade? Yeah. So I've got on this one. I've got Jerry Seinfeld. We've got that. We also have sovereign state and emoji. And we'll combine all of these things together and we'll be out of breath unless we're not out of breath.

7:23So we start with number one. One, one, one. You know what we're doing? We're doing the walls. What kind of wall? All right. So we start here. I love this story. I do. Well, why do you love this? It's the fact that people are so addicted to these numbers is just a tremendous to me. And it is sharp tank with a jockstrap and shoulder pads. Hunter Lipke went into negotiations. He's a no name full back on the Dallas Cowboys. And if we are to believe some of these reports, he came out of the negotiation as a venture capitalist. The Cowboys finally made a trade. I like and Jerry Jones was not involved in this at all that Vaughan Miller would trade equity in block, block, check it.

8:25I just want to get a Jersey number somewhere Warren Buffett just threw up in his mouth. What are you doing? It's a number. You're not buying Sinatra's microphone. It's laundry. But Vaughan bought number 40 like it was beachfront property. And if this chicken company explodes and I don't know much about chicken. The documentary years ago, but that aside, if this chicken company explodes number 40 becomes the most expensive piece of laundry since Jerry Seinfeld's puffy shirt. If you remember way back in the in the old days there, it shows still on on different streaming services, but the famous puffy shirt episode there. That's what this is. Lipke is now a business partner with Vaughan Miller, Patrick Mahomes, and Drew Breeze among others. And he's a fullback that you've never heard of on the Dallas Cowboys. Imagine explaining that at Thanksgiving. Well, what do you do?

9:30Well, you know, I played for the Cowboys today. Oh, that's great. You played for the game. I'm a fullback. Yeah. I'm also a minority chicken magnet. Oh, you're well, yeah, if I was in the NBA, they say I'm a minority governor of chicken. Yeah. Okay. God bless America. God bless America. So this is what happens when rich athletes have too much money and sentimental attachment to numerical situations involving cotton. And that's how you end up in this situation. So the trade was clearly won by the fullback. He's going to wear number 30, which is fine. It's okay. It's certainly worth a large amount of money and no one's going to know the difference between 40 and 30 when you're on the field. What's so special about 40? All right, page two. Takanza city. We go the heartland of America, the birthplace of Ben Mallor chicken fingers there at the landing and Liberty Missouri. Still on the menu after all these years.

10:34Go out there and check out the Ben Mallor chicken fingers in cans city. So a viral chiefs training camp clip showed Travis Kelsey. We talked about this on the show. It showed Travis Kelsey running really slowly, really slowly there during practice. And that led to an online conversation. Questions about whether or not. Tyden Travis Kelsey had lost it. And the video God millions and millions of views on social media with people mocking Travis Kelsey's speed. And the defender covering him and the whole McGillah, the whole McGillah now on his fledgling podcast. He wishes he could have the numbers. The fifth hour podcast has Jason Kelsey. I'm told that's the other Kelsey Jason Kelsey ripped the NFL's practice content machine saying can we just let practice be its own thing with a question mark.

11:38Yeah, so Jason called practice a quote safe space for experimentation without every rep being dissected online. And Travis Kelsey laughed off the criticism. He was fat shamed saying he deliberately ran that particular route slowly. I don't know that he gave a wink wink and nod nod. So the question here should NFL team stop posting practice clips if they don't provide proper context. Yeah, so on this one, I'm giving it side eye. I'm giving it side eye getting worked into a lot of over eight seconds of training camp is rather silly. It is rather silly. But that's the matrix. The matrix isn't real. Once people have the enlightenment that it's a lot of manipulation for your stimulation. And the numbers are not what they see. It's a fun zone. It's a house of mirrors, the social media. It's obviously a lot of real people on there. Everything's doctored though. Everything's fenced up and welcome to the NWO, the new world order NFL as a business. They play one game a week during the season. That's it. That's all one game a week.

13:01That means that inventory is limited hockey plays 84 games basketball plays 82 games baseball plays 162 games. The NFL plays 17 games. That's it. So there's not a lot of inventory from the games. So practice not a game, not a game practice. We need to talk about practice, not a game, not a game practice has become a warehouse. What kind of warehouse? It's a content warehouse. It's farming big pharma. In this case, engagement farming. There's a bunch of football players who are really assembly line workers here. Every route is dissected. Every jiggle jiggle jiggle from your belly gets packaged for consumption. And this evil twin fat Kelsey was was really good for the family farm business was really good. And we mentioned 6 million views. So the mission was accomplished there to get that amount of views and spare me that the Kelsey family or Travis Kelsey somehow the victim. I love that. There's always those fine boys and jocks nippers. There they are right there. Yeah. Oh, that's a big jocks nipper. And they love they love to make these players seem like victims. Now if I'm not mistaken and you can correct me if I'm wrong, I'll give out the number in a minute.

14:24The Kelsey family, especially Travis bought a mansion on the busiest side of the sovereign state of Kardashianville. It's a little villa car. It is a sovereign state though. Yeah, much like that. Remember during COVID the nut jobs in Seattle created their own little country there. Yeah. So anyway, and they put neon neon signs pointing to the driveway. They had to be in the city. And they had to do that. They sold tickets to the neighborhood tour. They had the star maps out. And now now the Kelsey's are standing on the front lawn screaming about all the traffic. Why are you here in our sovereign state of Kardashianville. Well, you told us about it. And we like it and all that. You can't build a media empire. And then all the attention that comes with that media empire and demand a privacy fence. When things get inconvenient in convenient. All right. Final point to the follow up from the follow up the claw. Oh, the claw. Now as you may or may not have seen the hammer of God.

15:40It came down on the clippers. Many of you were very happy. I got some lengthy email messages. I chose not to go through most of those who were very happy. I think they had an orgasm because of Adam Silver's punishment of the clippers, which was really a badge of honor. It shows you how hurt you were by the clippers. And it's like look at the doll and tell me where where he hurts you. And I get it. I would be happy to if I was a historian and the clippers owned L.A. And all that. I would be upset and all those great urinals at the end to a dome. I would be happy to get it. I understand. And I'm flattered. I really am flattered. And you really confirmed my hypothesis years ago that it's hip to clip. Now one of the stories here though is how soft Adam Silver went on coiliner. Gave him what we call the Al Touve. You know, Touve was one of the masterminds of that cheating scandal in Houston when they cheated to win the World Series and then turned out that Rob Manford, the commission of baseball didn't have any balls and couldn't punish Al Touve or any of the other players.

16:44So similar that coiliner cleared anywhere from 1.3 to I've seen over $2 million from these under the table no show jobs. And the NBA find them $700,000. So any way you slice it. He cleared either $600,000 or as much as almost $2 million when you consider all the other money. And he only was fine $700,000. So I believe that's money that he'd be happy to send back. Why not? Because he came out ahead in the end. Now I bring this up because Kauai had maintained that he did not know the rules surrounding salary cap circumvention. He attempted to distance himself from knowingly participating in any improper benefit or range. Okay, fine. So that podcast nerd challenged that defense by resurfacing some old interview that seven people listen to in which coilinered coiliner discussed the importance of understanding NBA business and contract rules.

17:52Now Leonard in that particular interview and previous conversations, which are rare, rare for him Leonard previously portrayed himself as someone who educated himself about the league's financial system, making his profess ignorance in the in the clipper case seemingly impossible. Certainly hard to process. Now the question is this coilinered conflicting statements on the public. On knowing NBA salary cap rules. How does this hit you? So the whole I'm just an innocent bystander defense. It reminds me of the bull crap the a holes were giving out. Now to be probably had the buzzer there in the ALCS and he wouldn't have his jersey ripped off and everyone has their jersey ripped off when they hit a game winning home run in the playoffs and he didn't do it. And most knowledgeable people believe it's because he had a buzzer and he wouldn't do it.

18:56And he said it was something else and you know, just come up with these ridiculous things and they know the people in sports know there's a lot of these fans. Unfortunately, a complete idiots and will fall for any of this crap. And so they do it and coilinered over there like, come on, please, innocent bystander. Yeah, right. Come on. Just toss that into the paper shredder and hit the max speed. Come on. And for years and there's plenty of quotes out there. Coil didn't do a lot of interviews, but he always presented himself as professor cap, professor salary cap, the ultimate savvy NBA businessman who understated the financial rule in the jungle. And now that this whole aspiration, funny money arrangement is being called out. It's under the microscope. Now that the heat is on. He throws his hands up in the air everywhere and he gives us an emoji.

19:58Kauai sent out a shrugging emoji metaphorically, of course, metaphorically, of course. And what did you look, you cannot brag for years about knowing exactly how the sausage gets made. And then when the investigators find some questionable sausage in your refrigerator, you claim you've never seen a kitchen. You have no idea what a kitchen is. It's ridiculous, ridiculous on its face. And Kauai's credibility right now is smoking like a 1994 Buick climbing up the great vine in California. If you know what that is outside LA on the way to Bakersfield there. Absolutely cooked, absolutely cooked. It is the bandit mall or show, which is not yet cooked. However, you want to be part 877 99 on Fox. That's 877 9966369. We part of the live radio program. We thank you for that. Yes, I know it's it will do a live guaranteed human. It's a slogan. They got the whole thing later this hour. We have big bands lame jokes a week, which are approved by slug.

21:10Our friend in Vegas time now, though, for the mall or riddle of that day. And here's the mall or riddle of the day. You can answer this on X at Ben Mallor. That's at Ben Mallor. And here's the riddle of the despite upgrades to Neal and Stadium in Knoxville. Tennessee has decided to keep some of the blank from the previous stadium design for fans who enjoy the vintage college football experience. Again, despite having some renovations at Neal and Stadium, the home of the volunteers there in Knoxville, Tennessee, Tennessee University has kept some of the blank so fans can enjoy the vintage college football experience. That is the mall or riddle of the day. The answer will get to it and we will do it. Next, be sure to catch live additions of the Ben Mallor show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern 11 p.m. Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I Hard Radio app.

22:18Hey, it's Kovino and Rift from Fox Sports Radio. Now, in addition to hearing us live weekdays from 5 to 7 p.m. Eastern to 4 Pacific on Fox Sports Radio, we're excited to announce a brand new YouTube channel for the show. Yup, that's right. You can now watch Kovino and Rich live on YouTube every day. All you got to do is search Kovino and Rich FSR on YouTube. Again, go to YouTube, search Kovino and Rich FSR. Check us out on YouTube, subscribe, hit that thumbs up icon, and comment away. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait 4 hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I choose option B. I'm Julie Beniero and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us, not a lot of people smile around here.

23:23It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and health captive for 9 months. I survived and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the survivor files. I just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and I just started screaming.

24:30They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. Their story is about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the survivor files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our town is small taters by most standards, right? But to the people who grew up here, it's everything. What happens when a quiet Tennessee town becomes the front line in a battle over the future of America? Developers with right wing ties have purchased hundreds of acres of land in the area. The first thing you see when it pops up is high nears and apple etchum. But they weren't just planning houses. We need cities on a shining hill that exemplify and embody the Christian way of life. Stop right there, is that normal? A podcast about what happens when a small town becomes the site of a social experiment. God need mental rule, great! And decides to fight back.

25:30Do not use my hard work to sell your bulls**t. They're not just opposing what's being planned for here. Our hometown is not a test tube. They feel like they're standing in opposition to an entire administration. I guess you didn't move in on a bunch of dumb hillbillies now, did you? Listen to our town on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You know the feeling. You make a pick in your fantasy draft in the entire room groans because they wanted that player. Or you grab a small school rookie off waivers and you start him right before he goes off in primetime. There's no better feeling than crushing your fantasy football league. I'm JJ Zacharyson, host of the Late Round Fantasy Football Podcast. Before your draft, our players to target and players to avoid episodes tell you exactly who to circle and who to cross off. We've got data-driven analysis, historical trends, and the strategies that separate winners from the rest. And your dominance doesn't stop with the draft.

26:32All season long, we have our 15 transactions, 10 trends, sleepers, and the mail back. Data-driven, quick hitting episodes to help bring home that league trophy. Listen to the Late Round Fantasy Football Podcasts on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Britt Coleman, and I'm Trevor Sikama. If you ever watched a game and wondered what really made the difference beyond the final score, that's exactly why we created NFL Pro. Bro, it's got a man wide open! Touchdown! Stay Harks! Every week we use exclusive next-gen stats insights and NFL content to break down the biggest stories, matchups, and moments from around the league. We go beyond the box score to uncover the numbers, the tendencies, and details that help explain what actually happened on the field. Fires it out, the flat to Barclay, who beats one man, spins past another, leaps over a throw. And don't worry, this isn't just a show for stats experts.

27:32We use advanced analytics to help tell the story behind the game, turning the numbers into insights that every fan can understand and enjoy. So whether you're a casual fan learning more about football or a hardcore fan who can't get enough analysis, our goal is to help you see the game in a whole new way. If you've ever wanted to know why a playwork, how a matchup was won, or what most fans missed on Sunday, NFL Pro delivers insights you simply can't get anywhere else. Listen to NFL Pro on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Ben Mallor Show on Fox Sports Radio. As we continue on, we thank you for hanging out with us, try the podcast. It's got no calories. I know. I know. Try to remember. You'll have to, yeah, you'll listen. All right, very good. Well, pay off the Mallor Riddle of the day. That'll be coming up in a moment.

28:32As you are snug as a bug in the rug in your bed, unless you're not. If you'd like to be part of the show, you can call up right now 877 99 on Fox with lame jokes coming up later in the hour. Also on X at Ben Mallor can say hi to our friend Lorraine. Now right over there. There's Lorraine F SR Tech Queen. Sniff, sniff, sneeze, sneeze and a couple of right there. Say hello to coop at up. A Bronco fan. We thank you. Wow. In advance. So coming up a little bit later on in this hour, we'll have big bands lame jokes of the week. All the best singers, all the best one liners. These are actual jokes by actual listeners of the show that sent jokes in care of at Ben Mallor Show at gmail.com. That's Ben Mallor Show at gmail.com. So we look forward to that. I'll be coming up a little bit later in the hour and I'd say the jokes are pretty good.

29:34Still putting them together here. They're pretty good. Why not? Time now for the riddle of the day. Then we'll get back to the calls at 877 99 on Fox. Here's the riddle of the day. Despite having some recent upgrades to Neelan Stadium, the University of Tennessee decided to keep some of the blank. So fans could enjoy the vintage college football experience. That is the question. What is the answer? And let's see. Does anyone know the answer? Shane in the morning says they need to invest in upgrades. So so says Fergdon. All right. JT the wingman who lives just outside Knoxville says moon shine stills. Is the answer. Donkey sausage and Rob and the three to one got it right bad job by them. Timmy from busco Indiana says the volunteers kept some of the old hot dog buns. Really good. Why not? Atomic Kevin writes and says old soda cups and nacho trays left under the seats.

30:39This solid analog out got it right. Nimbus Bata's AKA Nimbot going with lot lizard. Lot lizards as his answer. Peyton Manning's underrues from DJ spin, our friend Patrick in Sunday. Ego. What else do we have? Let's see page down. Al the alien opiner got it right bad job by him. King Rory went with the mountain dew scented soap. Gotta leave that in there. Yeah. Late night truck tester says they kept the Peyton Manning Heimlich section. Luke the vending guy checks in with wave pools. Luke doesn't love a good wave pool. What else? Andy and Lionel Lakes may or may not have cheated. He got it right. Fergdog says David Vessay didn't pay off the bet. What a weasel. He didn't walk home. I can't believe that. What's up with that? Just Josh in Cincinnati says they kept some of the old phone numbers off of the bathroom wall. All right.

31:39Well, let's get to the payoff on this. The Mallor Rittle of the day despite upgrades to Neal and Stady. I'm Tennessee decided to keep some of the blank. So fans could enjoy the vintage college football experience. Lorraine, do you have an answer? Some of their old bathrooms. Everyone loves old bathrooms old bathrooms. Old bathrooms. All right. That your final answer. What's kind of right, but you have to be more specific. The correct answer is they kept the troughs in the men's room. So you can let it all out and your fellow men can stand right next to you. That's beautiful. Not really. They had those. I don't think they did Dodger Stadium. They had those. In Buffalo, I went to one bills game in my life. And I walked in the bathroom. It was the funniest thing. They wouldn't even call bills mafia when I was there. I don't know what they were called. Just fans. And I walked into the men's room to take care of the business there. And they had troughs everywhere.

32:39But they had signs on the troughs. And they had signs on the sink. And the signs on the trough, if I remember correctly, said, like, stay out. And the signs on the sink said, this is not a toilet. It's a sink. Don't, you know, I guess people would just pee in the sink. Anyway, all right. Let's go to the phones. Let's say hello to any, meany, mindy, most of the people who's in the belly of the beast in Knoxville. What's going on, Neil? Welcome. You're on the morning show. Hi. Good morning, Ben. So I am a UT alum. I can see the stadium from my front door. And I've got to say, I don't know what all men's rooms don't have troughs. Neelan and Rikler are only two I know left. But why not? You are Team Troph. You enjoy the trough experience. I am Team Troph. Efficiency. Yeah. I'm going to say, I don't know what all men's rooms don't have troughs. Neelan and Rikler are only two I know left. Yeah. I'm more of a privacy guy, you know. I'm more like that. I tell you this, Torrey, Ben, when I was a kid in my elementary school, of course, we had

33:44a trough. But you can stand on the trough and pee out of the window. So for a seven-year-old boy, that was quite an unexperienced. Well, that does sound like a fun experience as a seven-year-old boy. I don't want to disagree with you on that. What kind of school did you go to? Well, you put your pads at home a little bit above the waste. So I'll just take that ribbon and wipe it off on the center. I understand why you guys might say that. Yes, yes. Heather contact information is likely to do it again on the grip. Oh, Ok. And so everybody else's reputation is clearly based on this statement, yes, difficult to recognize or maybe mystically promote Korea, but by now we have been trying to understand that culture. I just see where my grad uniform is going to be. It's ends and then they say it comes away. I also want to show you guys. when he urinated out of the second floor window and someone was standing on the first floor and did not appreciate the shower that they got. Did not like that. Well not many people I know Neil enjoy the trough.

34:45I think it's because he was childhood. I'm going to use some psycho babble. If it wasn't for that window as a kid, you would not be team trough now as an older man. Probably not. You walk in and see a trough and it brings back good memories. What song? What song have you heard the Dolly thing? What song they're going to use there from Dolly in the fourth quarter? Yeah. I have not heard version of Rocky Top is great, but I got a thing to lean. I'm thinking Rocky Top because it's, you know, that's perfect. I know it's other people have done it. Not but I'm going Rocky Top. Anyway, well, thank you. You'll appreciate that. All right. Lorraine, you want to get in on this? I'm going Rocky Top. That's a no brainer. Yeah. I don't think Jolene is going to be at it all. Yeah. What a nine to five. That wouldn't really work. No, probably I will always love you song. I think that would really get the crowd hyped. What kind of medication are you going to get?

35:46No. Oh, it's okay. It's okay. It's good. It's got to be classic. It's going to be classic. It's going to be classic. It's going to be classic. It can't be anything. It's got to be from like the 70s or the early 80s. I didn't know she did a version of Rocky Top. I feel like that's the answer. There's no other answer. Yeah. What else are you going to do? Jingle Bells? She did jingle bells. That really wouldn't work. All right. Well, that's no fun. We ruined that game. Let's see who's next. Steany, mini, mini, mo. Pick a caller by their name. Let's see what a Mike in Dallas. Hello, Mike. Welcome. You're on the Ben Mallor Show on Fox. Hey, Ben the other night. I tried calling in, but I got a fuck behind the, uh, what's the name? The pot dead or the wheat guy? Yeah, the pot hit. We call him the pot dead. Yeah, then, uh, I fell asleep and then I woke up. I was off the line.

36:47Did y'all hear me snoring? Yeah. I don't remember you snoring that well. I remember him falling asleep. He was not snoring at all. It was disappointing. Yeah. Yeah. We don't mean works if you snore. Okay. And then, uh, I want to talk about your, uh, baseball. You're talking about off to, uh, cheating. Um, but then I have a question for Lorraine. Um, we've a lot of you. A lot of you. A lot of con. You're very prepared here, Mike. You have a lot of content. How many cigarettes? How many cigarettes? How many cigarettes? How many cigarettes do you have left, by the way? Well, no, I'm out. And the hotel ladies are there's not a, uh, gas station for half a mile. Are you home? I have some weed. Are you homeless? Are you, uh, yeah? No, I'm playing shuffleboard here in Austin. Oh, I thought you were in Dallas.

37:48You're in Austin. Okay. Well, for the night. Oh, for the night. You're from Dallas. For a couple of days. But let me get to, uh, then I'm going to make a very, um, succinct, uh, point about baseball. And then, I mean, I hate talking about baseball, but I was, you called up to talk about baseball. You don't have to talk about baseball. I'm not making you talk about baseball. You could talk about anything you want. You don't have to. We could talk about shuffleboard. Let's talk shuffleboard. You want to talk shuffleboard? We can talk shuffleboard. No, I just, I can take you, uh, dispersing misinformation about, uh, cheating and baseball. More than I say that was incorrect. Well, you were blaming everything on the Astros and all two base and around the same time. They cheated in the world series. I think it's kind of obvious that they didn't get punished. They didn't get punished. They did. That's fair. But you know why they had such an easy punishment. Because Rob meant for basketball balls.

38:49The things that I heard was that the red socks were doing the same things. There, uh, they had a light from the outfield that would, you know, A.I. or whatever, be hooked up, see the signals in the catchers. And they'd blink a lighter to in the outfield. And that would tell the hitter, you know, what bitch was coming. Same thing was happening to what the Yankees, why do you think, uh, judge was hitting so much? So you're using, let me tell you what, you're using the everyone was doing at defense, which is, it's at ever work, by the way, does the everyone was doing at defense work? Well, you say, why why everyone was, like, like, like, like, uh, if I, if I pull you over and I say, hey, how fast were you going? And you say, well, I was going like 10 miles over the speed limit. Uh, but I was going the, I was going the same speed as traffic. Okay. So everyone was speeding. Uh, do you get out of the ticket?

39:50Well, no, but you got a, you got to call the whole story. They didn't walk. Okay. You know, the whole story is you like the, you like the Astros and you're going to try to defend them. So you're, you're using the everyone else was doing. Let's enjoy Austin, enjoy the shuffleboard. I got to go. All right. We have big bands, lame jokes of the week. We'll get to all of those jokes coming up in a couple of minutes. And it's going to be amazing. Is weed man there? By the way, is the weed man? Yeah. All right. This guy shows up. He can't keep a job, but with us, he shows up every time now. It's amazing. The ability for him to show up. Well, anyway, we will get to that big band's lame jokes of the week for the rest of the hour. The comedy club is open. We'll get to it. We will do it. Next. Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Mallor Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern 11 p.m. Pacific. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and health captive for nine months.

40:54I survived. And I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart. And these are the survivor files. You just remember this low taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up. Don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up. Without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed. And I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the survivor files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.

41:55I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I choose option B. I'm Julie Pinierro and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us, not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our town is small taters by most standards, right? But to the people who grew up here, it's everything.

42:56What happens when a quiet Tennessee town becomes the front line in a battle over the future of America? Developers with right wing ties have purchased hundreds of acres of land in the area. The first thing you see when it pops up is high nears and apple etchum. But they weren't just planning houses. We need cities on a shining hill that exemplify and embody the Christian way of life. Stop right there, is that normal? A podcast about what happens when a small town becomes the site of a social experiment. God need that to rule, great! And decides to fight back. Do not use my hard work to sell your bulls**t. They're not just opposing what's being planned for here. Our hometown is not a test too. They feel like they're standing in opposition to an entire administration. I guess you didn't move in on a bunch of dumb hillbillies now, did you? Listen to our town on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You know the feeling.

43:56You make a pick in your fantasy draft in the entire room, Grones, because they wanted that player. Or you grab a small school rookie off waivers and you start him right before he goes off in primetime. There's no better feeling than crushing your fantasy football league. I'm JJ Zacharyson, host of the Late Round Fantasy Football Podcast. Before your draft, our players to target and players to avoid episodes tell you exactly who to circle and who to cross off. We've got data-driven analysis, historical trends, and the strategies that separate winners from the rest. And your dominance doesn't stop with the draft. All season long, we have our 15 transactions, 10 trends, sleepers, and the mail back. Data-driven, quick hitting episodes to help bring home that league trophy. Listen to the Late Round Fantasy Football Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Britt Coleman, and I'm Trevor Sikama. If you ever watched a game and wondered what really made the difference beyond the final score,

44:57that's exactly why we created NFL Pro. Broke, got a man wide open! Touchdown! Stay Harks! Every week, we use exclusive Next Gen Stats Insights and NFL content to break down the biggest stories, matchups, and moments from around the league. We go beyond the box score to uncover the numbers, the tendencies, and details that help explain what actually happened on the field. It fires it out, but flat to barkly, who beats one man, spins past another, leaps over a throats! And don't worry, this isn't just a show for Stats experts. We use advanced analytics to help tell the story behind the game, turning the numbers into insights that every fan can understand and enjoy. So whether you're a casual fan learning more about football or a hardcore fan who can't get enough analysis, our goal is to help you see the game in a whole new way. If you've ever wanted to know why a playwork, how a matchup was won, or what most fans missed on Sunday,

45:57NFL Pro delivers insights you simply can't get anywhere else. Listen to NFL Pro on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Ben Mallow's show on Fox Sports Radio! We thank you for hanging out with us. We're here all night, every night, try the roast beef. I hear it's pretty good tonight. Check out the show anywhere on the iHeartRadio app. It goes literally everywhere. You can hear the show live on the Fox Sports Radio channel, because that's who broadcasts the show on the Fox Sports Radio channel. You can also hear the Ben Mallow's show podcast and the 5th hour podcast. Both of those things will be up today. You can enjoy the 5th hour podcast, a post game recap of the epic Malar meet and greet we had last weekend in Lost Wages, Nevada. Check that out. And the Ben Mallow's show podcast and all that all on the iHeartRadio app. Make us a P1, a P2, a P3. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

46:59Knock, knock, who's there? Blame, we blame, we too. It's Big Band's lame joke of the week. Alright, right, two we go. Are you ready, weed man? And weed man hit Miami, right? I'm going to turn down loads to zoom right after this call. You're not going to download zoom, weed man. What are you doing? I'm trying. I just doesn't work. I can't tell. I know, I know. I love you, but it's you not. I know. I know. What is weed man's favorite color? What? Hazy. Michael, Michael and Tulsa. What did weed man say when he was offered a trip to Maui? What? Maui? Maui is what he said. That's surfer Todd, the comedian. It was great to see surfer Todd and his lovely wife last week there in Vegas.

47:59What did weed man say when he heard Stan Cronkey bought the angels? Wow, what? He said, if I change my name to angel, maybe Stan will pay me too. Is that Eric and Kansas? That's great. I'm sure. Why does weed man get frustrated with an apple? Why? Well, he can't bite into it because he can't find his teeth. That's why that's what Michael and Tulsa. Any luck with your teeth? No luck with your teeth. Oh, terrible. Did you hear that weed man's son? His son's name is? You hear about that? Michael. No, no, that's actually not true. Your son's name is Bud. You ruined the joke. You've had Bud. It's a Brendan from Boston. Did you hear the lifeguard couldn't save weed man hippie? You hear about that? Oh, no, why? Yeah, he said you're too far out, man.

49:00That's from George. George George George. Why is weed man's electric bill so high? Why? Two words. Grow room. That's Brendan from Boston. He did great. He also sent the weed man's son joke. Why did weed man invite Jack York to Florida? Why? Florida has the greatest trailer parks. He's from our friend, the leprechaun. And Boston, why? Or Worcester, why did weed man want to become a carpenter? Why? Well, he thought it was where they made joints. You know, the carpenter's make this a heart. Also from the leprechaun. That's funny. This one's from E. Can Roseville, Minnesota. Why do Lorraine and Coup break out in a rash when they get their paychecks? Why? They're allergic to peanuts. All right.

50:01There you go, McConey. Why? Why did Lorraine throw... It is a... Why did Lorraine throw a box of lucky charms at Michael Leprechaun? Why? Because she's magically malicious. That's pretty... That's a... Kurt from Earth sent that one in. If you'd like to send jokes in for a future show, care of Ben Malas... or show, BenMalashojGmail.com. BenMalashojGmail.com. Why shouldn't you... Yeah, that's right. Why shouldn't you order hay for your horse off Amazon? Why? Well, it turns out a few days later they're going to ask you for your feedback. They want your feedback from this book. That's a mic... Mike from Wisconsin sent that one in. What kind of cousins are Anthony and Louisiana and Lorraine? What? Kissing. That's just Josh from Cincinnati. Who sent that one in?

51:01These are big bands. Lame jokes the week. Actual jokes by actual listeners. Again, BenMalashojGmail.com. Jokes in the headline. If you want to send jokes in for next week. Did you hear that the WNBA is expanding to East Palestine Ohio? Wow, really. Yeah, it's pretty exciting news that they're... They're going to be putting a team there. According to sources, there's no market that's better... Better appreciates a botched layup. Hey, oh, that's Gordon. Gordon had to call him up. Dad joke Dan sent this one in. Said a son came home from school and said, Dad, I got a part in the school play. And the dad said, well, really? Yeah, he said, uh, uh, uh, uh, The kids said, I play a man who's been married 30 years. And the dad replied, weed, man. He said, well, son, maybe next time you'll get a speaking role. Hey, oh, all right, that's a dad joke Dan. Thank you for that dad joke Dan. Tiger Woods was told he can't drive for five years after pleading guilty in court.

52:05Yeah, he said it's no big deal for the last five years. He hasn't been able to drive chip or putt. So it's really not much of a difference there. That's George. I think I might have pushed that one. But George and Rochester, Minnesota, well, here's some exciting news for our friends in the Bay Area. You hear the 49ers owner, Jack York, is considering changing the name of the team after he was busted in East Palestine, Ohio with a prostitute. Was a fake prostitute. Wow, really? Yeah, apparently the new team is going to, is a simple change. The San Francisco 69ers, that's Noah and Austin. Thank you, weed man. We love you, buddy. The great weed man. It'd be no chance to get zoom. You're not going to get zoom. I know you're not. I know it. I know it. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering the ride on his motorcycle.

53:05I choose option B. I'm Julie Pinero and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else for the ride. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I survived nine months in captivity and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the survivor files. Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the survivor files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Our hometown is not a test tube. 90 miles northeast of Nashville, a battle for the future of America plays out in one small town.

54:09The developers with right wing ties have purchased hundreds of acres of land. We need cities on a shining hill. This is our town. A podcast about what happens when a small town becomes the site of a social experiment and fights back. I guess you didn't move in on a bunch of dumb hillbillies now did you? Listen to our town on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. College football will hijack your weekend, ruin your sleep and break your heart. And that's why we make the Solid Verbal College football show. I'm Ty Hildenbrand. He's Dan Rubenstein. Every week we preview the games that matter in the story lines that are going to ignite your group chat. And you can join us in the aftermath as we react to what happened, why it matters and how the sport went completely bonkers yet again. Listen to the Solid Verbal College football show on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. The entire draft room groans because you just took the guy they wanted.

55:11There's no better feeling than crushing your fantasy football league. I'm JJ Zacharyson, host of the award-winning late-round podcast. Before you're draft, our players to target and players to avoid episodes tell you exactly who to circle and who to cross off. Listen to the late-round fantasy football podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.