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“I'm Jen Houston joined by pastor David and Maryland Chadwick. We're going to wrap up this week, but we're going to continue next week in this theme on how to honor your wife. David, will you share with us about respecting her opinion?”From the transcript
by David Chadwick
We husbands are often "Captain Oblivious" with our wives. We live disconnected from them. They often have insights that could help us in many different areas. They are often transmitting signals to us. But, like radio waves needing a transmitter for sounds to be heard, we don't have our transmitters turned on. And if they are on, we have our dials set just a few numbers away from their signals. We only hear garbled gurgles and static sounds.
We husbands need to learn from our wives. We need to seek and respect their opinions. This respect comes more easily when we know them well.
Through the years, I've learned four different ways to know Marilynn well. They have helped me hear her transmissions. They have aided me in seeking her input. They have allowed me to clearly discern what she may be feeling and how I can digest what she may be trying to say to me. I know she has my best interests at heart. I know she wants my best. I know she desires my success. If so, and we are one flesh, wouldn't it be wise for me to learn better how to know her well?
These four ways are encapsulated in the acronym S-E-A-L. Think of them as ways to "seal the deal" with your wife—ways to know her well.
After all, the better you know her, the more you'll value her opinion. And the closer you will become. She will feel honored. And when you finally seal the deal, the two of you truly become one—which is God's goal for all marriages. Here it is:
S—Study her life
E—Empathize with her
A—Ask for her opinion
L—Listen to what she says
I would imagine that several things on my list are also on yours. I'd also imagine that you'd have other items that I don't have. What's on the list isn't nearly as important as the fact that there is a list. Just make sure you have one.
We husbands need to S-E-A-L the deal. Study your wife. Empathize with her. Ask and respect her opinions. Listen to what she says. Doing so will help you to know her well. It will prove your desire to honor her.
And the two of you become more and more one flesh.
This series is adapted from David Chadwick's book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Wife. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!
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A Moment of Hope — How to Honor Your Wife: Respect Her Opinion. Machine-transcribed; use the interactive transcript above to jump the player to any line.
Welcome to this moment of hope. I'm Jen Houston joined by pastor David and Maryland Chadwick. We're going to wrap up this week, but we're going to continue next week in this theme on how to honor your wife. David, will you share with us about respecting her opinion? Yeah, a lot of us husbands could be called captain oblivious when it comes to our wives. We live disconnected from them. They oftentimes have insights into different things that could help us be all that we're created to be in God's sight. And we just don't pay attention to their opinions. I'm here to tell you today guys, we need to learn from our wives. We need to seek and respect their opinions. This respect comes more easily when we know them well, well through the years I've learned four different ways to know Maryland. They have helped me hear what's going on in her heart. They've added to my heart, her inputs that allow me to be all that I'm supposed to be and I then have her best interest at heart and I become all the person God wants me to be.
So these four ways are encapsulated in the acronym S E A L seal. So think of them in this way. We're sealing the deal guys. We're sealing the deal with our wives. So here's what you do. S study her life. Look at her. Know what she loves. Know what she doesn't love. Learn how to see places where she's made really wise decisions so that you can honor and respect her even more. E empathize with her. Think about all the ways she has overcome difficulties and get into her skin and learn those ways as well. A simple ask for her opinion. When you're together and you're sharing a problem or a difficulty or some whatever in life say to her, what do you think? Seek her opinion and L listen to what she says. And I would imagine that you can add to this list but it's really worked for me. And as you hear her heart and you know her and you've studied her life, you've empathized with her. You've gotten her opinions and you listen to what she has to say,
you then will grow in your own life and be able to honor her even more. Marilyn, your thoughts. David, I think this is quite fascinating and I really like that little S E A L because what it does for all you guys listening, it doesn't mean you have to agree with every single thing. Your wife thinks or feels or believes guess what we're different, right? We don't always look at life exactly the same way. But if you're doing these things, studying guys studying her life, empathizing asking for her opinion and listing what she says, she's going to feel respected, cared for and seen. I read a little article this week that said that there are three words that are the universal language for people who know how to get along with others. And I wondered what it was going to be. Three simple words. And they said, this goes for anybody. The three words are, well, that makes sense. And it has a way of validating that you heard somebody, you might not even agree with them. But you can say that makes sense. I heard you and David, yours goes a step
further and I think it's even better. So I think brownie points for having that. That's good for you. But I just think anybody, this is good for your relationship with anybody, not just a spouse, because it allows you to detach a little bit from even strong feelings, to be a kind and caring listener. I think this is great insight and practical as well. I can almost see some people needing to go into the mirror and practice moving their mouth and say, what do you think, honey? Just practicing and let it become a natural part of conversing back and forth. Yeah. Well, you know, wives have different experiences, different temperaments, different insights than men do. And I think God causes the two to become one because they need each other. Marlon, never forget your dad when we engaged ourselves to one another. He tore a paper plate and says, this side is Maryland. This side is you, David. But when you come together, you fill in each other's tearing points and you make each other complete. And when you give me your opinion
on something, I have blind spots. And I may not have seen that. But then when you give me that idea, go, oh, now I see that because I respected your opinion. Guys, do it. It'll make your life more complete.
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