Howard Stern & Mitch McConnell need to RETIRE

0:00Hey, it's Kelly Rowland. You may not know this, but I have Exema. So I get how it can steal your time. But why let Exema take over when you can talk to your doctor about Epglyce? Epglyce, lubricism ab LBKZ, a 250-mg per 2-mg leador injection, is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older, who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe Exema. Also called a topic dermatitis that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin, or topicals, or who cannot use topical therapies. Epglyce can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you are allergic to Epglyce. Allergic reactions can occur that can be severe. I-problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have newer, worsening eye problems, you should not receive a live vaccine when treated with Epglyce. Before starting Epglyce, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection. Pay partnership with Lili. Respect your time. Ask your doctor about Epglyce and visit Epglyce.com, or call 1-800-LiliRX or 1-800-545-5979.

1:00It's fall in Jeep country, and during the driving to fall sales event, get a great deal on 4x4s that refuse to be contained, like Jeep Wrangler, confidence built into every drive with the most awarded SUV ever, Jeep Grand Cherokee, and freedom that can't be denied, with the open-air freedom and Jeep gladiator. After 85 years, it's no surprise that Jeep became America's SUV brand. Get a great deal during the Jeep driving to fall sales event. Jeep is one more awards over its lifetime than any other SUV brand, Jeep and the Jeep Grill Registered Trademarks of FCAUS LLC. We are live, and I got Eric Moreno, and I got Ron the waiter, and I want to start with a poem, guys. I want to start with a poem today, something a little different, or as Oprah would say, a poem, a poem. I say poem, but some people say poem. Or how do they say it? Does anyone know? The proper way to say poem. Poem. Limerick. It's not Limerick. Well, mine is kind of a Limerick, and bear with me,

2:00because I hate poems, and I wrote this at 4.30 in the morning. I've got a style in my eye, which makes a guy just want to cry. I squeezed some goo into the slit, now half my vision's gone to shit. It feels like grease. It looks like paste, a total blurry, sticky waist. So as I sit and stream today, my right eye is completely washed away. There you go. I got a, oh, you like the poem. Eric Moreno, like the poem. Well, I am related to Robert Frost, the great New England poet. I am like six cousins once removed to Robert Frost himself. So I know a good poet. Thank you. I thought, here I'll give you a good look at the, I'll do a Ron Burman. There's the, it's not as bad as it was last night when I went to urgent care. Now I'm just worried about the lady that was coughing up. God knows what while I was waiting for someone to look at my eye, because I thought it was Pink Eye at first. And you know, you get the Pink Eye from getting a little

3:01poopy on your finger, and then rubbing your eye. Everyone knows that. So when you see someone with the Pink Eye, they got some duty on their finger when they were, when they were white or something. That's the only way I think you get Pink Eye, but I'm not a, I'm not a professional. But there was a woman in the, the urgent care as I was waiting and she was coughing up. God knows what? So I am I getting, getting Legionnaires disease now because I had to go to urgent care for Pink Eye. That's very topical. That's happening in the Bronx. We have another Legionnaires break. It broke out. Yeah. So I, and I also have posterior, posterior plethora, does anyone posterior? I got two things. I got a lot of, a lot of, you know, porosis. You have hemorrhoids. It sounds like something in the posterior. What do you get? No, I don't have a, well, I might have a hemorrhoid. I might have one on your eye. Well, I'm, I'm, hold on, I'm trying to, I can't see. You're falling apart. I'm not falling apart. It's distress of living in New York City. Everyone knows

4:02that I want to be here. I want to be here. I want to be here. I want to be here. I want to be. I want to be here. I want to be here. I want to be here. I want to be here. I want to be. Well, good luck. Summer's over. It's back to the city. Now don't, don't fart in your pillow. Okay. I know. I, I'm, I'm here. I'm here for the kids as they go back to school. My wife doesn't even want to be here anymore. And, and we, and we're all stressed out. Okay. I got posterior plethoraitis as well and a style in my eye. So it's plethoraitis. It's like, I like, like, a swelling and like, like, a, like, a, a, a, a, a, I don't know. Some kind of like infection, I guess. So the gave me, um, can I, are you guys there? Because there might be, it might be in my, uh, left eye too. So they said, you know, just to be on the safe side, put these drops in both eyes. I'm like, okay, I'll do that. They got new drops, bitches. And it's, it's like, swine. It's like Vaseline. It's like, so I guess it stays in your eye longer. And it's like, literally putting Vaseline in your eye. So I, I can't, I can't see God, damn it.

5:02You making my eyes water. I have to, I'm like, trying to not touch, like, psychos the man up to try to not touch my face now while we talk. And, and this looks better than it was. So, anyway, good morning to everybody. I'm in my eye. Yeah. No, I don't know. Wasn't that a game? I spy my eye. Oh, he's gross. I, yes, perfect. Yes, I can also do my own poems. Oh, I had a second verse of the poem, but it falls apart. So I decided not to read it about being in New York and hating being here. Wait, all right. Let's acknowledge that the second part of the poem isn't that great, okay? And that's why I didn't read it at first. But I think you guys would appreciate how bad this is. Oh, yeah. And here I am in New York City, the absolute last place I'd rather be. The subway screams, the trash piles high, the air tastes like a burning tire. I, I, I know, I, know, I just couldn't come up with a rhyme there. Eight million people in my space and half a blind eye on my face. There you go. I love how you say you couldn't come up with a rhyme there. You didn't,

6:07hey, I couldn't come up with a, I mean, I, you're probably me. That's everything. At 4.30 in the morning, under the, under the desk lamp, pen and paper, you're right. Yeah. Yeah. Because I started with the, it was easy. I got a style in my eye. So I'm like, I got a style in my eye and then I decided to go from there, Brian. All of a sudden you turned into Eric Marino's nephew, Eric Robert Frost. Yeah, yeah, I did. Oh, by the way, you said, how many time for move six, seven? I think six, six cousins wants to move. All right, dude, I, by the way, I got you fucking beat. My second cousin, my second cousin on my mother's side. God is my witness is Paul Simon. That's the fucking truth. My mother's a Levine. He's a fucking, he's related to Levine's on my mother's side. Yeah. He gave me a sterling, uh, sterling silver kiddish cup for my, for my by-mix wow, the kiddish cup. You know what I have only one thing to say to that? Lila, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie,

7:13I like this song about him. I don't know, I'm driving down the Jersey Turnpike or something like, what does it call again? America? Yeah, come into America. No, that was the other. Now, it's Neil Diamond. No, it's the other New York, you. Yeah, heat up a piece of wheat bread and keep it pressed on the thigh. It will help you. They keep telling me to heat up shit and, and putting it, putting it right up against my eye. A warm compress, a warm compress. Oh yeah, it looks, it looks better now. Oh, just, and don't pop it apparently. Don't, don't try to pop it. I can't even, I don't do it. That's right, you're on lick it. My dog lick it. Yeah, I'm telling you, that's good stuff. It's a lie. So, by the way, can I just make a quick connection? Can I write it? I brought up my cousin Paul Simon. Yeah, my second cousin. Yeah, and Eric, here's what you would do with that little six degrees. Eric Barino used to be on SNL. Yes, Simon, I believe is, is does he have the most appearances as a guest between a guest

8:14and a musical host? Yeah, he's in the five timers club. Absolutely. Yeah. When I think of, you know, trying to take out Joe Rogan, because he's the top podcaster in the world right now. I was thinking, why don't we talk about hosts of SNL and how many times they've been on? Oh, you know what actually, but I will say, Opie, as we get to that, you know, it is happy Jewish New Year, happy 1787. Right. With that, you might want to put some apples and honey on your eye. Like that could have that start the year. Some apples and honey. I'll try anything, but this vessel in I drop, man, it's fucking wild. That's wild. Yeah, I've had that, I've had, I had a style a couple, a couple months ago, I had a, I had a bad little style. It was a warm compress. I'll tell you. And it worked. It kept coming. It almost came back for a while, but I was getting these special style wipes and stuff that has like cool cucumber and mint products in it, but it nothing really seemed to work. I should pull Howard Stern and take a month off,

9:14because I got a style in my eye, man, I got to take care of this. That's right. I mean, I'm going to take a month off in honor of Howard Stern, but you know, I got to take care of this style in my eye, Robin. Oh, you should fire everyone too. Ron, you and I have been fired for fired. But Ron, you're gonna pay my bills now. I don't know, the super chat, the next super chat. How do I pay my rent now? When I go like this, it's just that I'm trying to see the guys I'm livestreaming with it. So it's like, also, also my eye, my vision comes out. That hurts. I know yesterday, it definitely looks like I got punched. Yeah, it looks like you had it coming. How dare you, Ron? How dare you say that? And I went and got a groovy haircut too. So maybe, I don't know. All right. Anyway, I'm not prepared because I've been dealing with this style in my eye. I just want to let you guys know right off the bat. I have nothing. Hey, it's Kelly Rowland. You may not know this, but I have Exema. So I get how it can steal your time. But why let Exema take over

10:19when you can talk to your doctor about Ebglus. Ebglus, lubricism ab LBKZ, a 250-milligram per two-milliliter injection, is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older, who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe Exema. Also called a topic dermatitis that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin, or topicals, or who cannot use topical therapies. Ebglus can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you are allergic to Ebglus. Allergic reactions can occur that can be severe. Eye problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have newer, worst-ning eye problems, you should not receive a live vaccine when treated with Ebglus. Before starting Ebglus, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection. Paid partnership with Lili. Respect your time. Ask your doctor about Ebglus and visit Ebglus.com or call 1-800-LiliRX or 1-800-545-5979. Hi, I'm Gus. I'm a dog in an expert in speed. So when it comes to fast internet, I know what I'm talking about. That's why I recommend optimum fiber-powered internet.

11:19It has fast and reliable internet speeds, starting at only $30 a month with a five-year price lock. So how can you fetch such an amazing deal by calling 8669 optimum or visiting optimum.com to switch? That's 8669 optimum. Speaking of fetch, that's my cue. Terms apply, seeoptimum.com for details. Hey, it's Kelly Rowland. You may not know this, but I have eczema. So I get how it can still your time. But why let eczema take over when you can talk to your doctor about Ebglus? Ebglus, lubricism app LBKZ, a 250-mg per 2-mg leader injection, is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older, who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms, with moderate to severe eczema. Also called a topic dermatitis that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin, or topicals, or who cannot use topical therapies. Ebglus can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you are allergic to Ebglus. Allergic reactions can occur that can be severe.

12:19I-problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have new or worsening eye problems. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with Ebglus. Before starting Ebglus, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection. Pay partnership with Lili. Respect your time. Ask your doctor about Ebglus and visit Ebglus.com, or call 1-800-LiliRx or 1-800-545-5979. I could talk about the giant sandwiches that are back in- Oh, Carnegie Dellie! Close to where art marino lifts. That's right, we're coming back, Carnegie Dellie. This stupid Carnegie Dellie, they closed for 10 years, and they're open, and you know, the lemmings are already lining up to get that sandwich that is as big as your fucking head. Hold on, you guys, back up for a second. You're going over stuff. The Carnegie Dellie's reopening at the 10th, first of all, because the family was like, you know, it's a family-owned place, it's generational. They're like, we've kind of had it. But you know the Carnegie Dellie, the space they took over?

13:20No. That was the original stage deli. So the original stage deli is now Carnegie Dellie. Oh my god, thank God I can't believe we didn't know that wrong. Oh my god. Thank you. Joe Rogan, Joe Rogan, we're coming for you brother. Now we're doing Google Maps. You can't compete with Google Maps, bitch. But that's fine, you're right. Why didn't they just take over their old joint? What's in their old joint? Where was the original Carnegie Dellie? I don't know, I'll be honest. I went once. I hated it. When you get these sandwiches, then you can't get your whole goddamn mouth around. I don't want to be bothered. And then all of a sudden, you're like, can I have an extra plate and can you give me extra bread? And then you make sandwiches for 20 people. I hate it. It's by the way, it's literally two pieces of rye bread that are like, you know, that's that that's in right. And it's a foot. It's a fucking foot of meat. And there's that's it.

14:23It's a piece of rye bread in meat. And by the way, how much do you think of sandwiches cost? You know, I was going to look it up, but I was too busy trying to put goo in my eye. So I don't know. I really did want to look that up, but it's $35. But it's, I mean, it's it's crazy. It's six to eight inches easily. That's a $35 sandwich. Do you know, do you know, their logo, their very famous logo? If you finished your plate or your meal, I don't know the exact words. If you finished your plate, that means we did something wrong. That's their famous logo. Really? Yeah. Yeah. You know, we had a pastrami place on the Upper West side. It was called Pastrami Queen. I went in there. I just went there. No, they're closed. No. Huh? Nope. There's one open. There's one on the Upper West side, one on the Upper East side. They're like two weeks ago. It looked like, all right, maybe they were remodeling because I was happy they were closed because I went in there once and they have a lunch special. It was something

15:23like a half a sandwich and a pickle. Yeah. Some some side thing. It was like $45. I'm like, you're out of your fucking minds. That's the special. So I was happy. I thought they were closed, but I guess not. No. No. Pastrami Queen still still swinging that still swinging that meat. All right. Well, here we are with my friends, Ron Burmick comedy and Eric Burino, the Eric Burino on Instagram. Yes, Ronnie. No, he said swinging my meat. I think my roommate has that title. And then you said, goo in my eye, he definitely has that. Yes, that title. It's weird. You guys are like naming all my roommates sexy movies. Yeah. Well, I got it. I called Ron yesterday. I was I was picking up the kids. Actually, I was picking up my daughter, she had practice and I had like 10 minutes to kill. Well, he was on fire. Oh, he was on fire. Why? When you called me, well, I was furious. Yes, I know. Okay. Because I thought you were I thought, don't be called was called up to yell at me. Do he called up yelling and screaming?

16:23I'll make hope. What's wrong? What's wrong? Please keep it real. There's enough hassles out there. I don't call you to yell and scream. You know that. Please, please, I beg you to keep it real with me. No, you yell and screaming, but it wasn't about me. It was about me. Yeah. Okay. So well, because I'm pretty competitive. I've done this a very, very long time. And sure I took a few years off where I was just full around with this. Let's be honest with each other, but in the end, I'm competitive. I, you know, I try to put on a good show every morning. I work hard. I barely take time off. I should have taken today off because I can't see God damn it. And I was outside my daughter's school. She had practice. I was waiting for it to come out. And I had about 10, 15 minutes to kill. So I'm like, you know, this Howard Stern is back. Let me see what this is all about. He took the whole summer off. Let me see what the buzz is on Howard Stern after after not working at all all summer. Bro, it was the biggest pile of shit. And so I had a call Ron and yell at him. It's not fair. What was that yelling right? It's not fair. No,

17:25I so I see it's open. I'm like, hey, what's up? And he goes, it's not fair. I'm losing my mind. It's not fair. And I want what happened. Oh, he did someone not pick up their dog shit. That's one of his triggers. And he goes, no, it's the other dog shit. How it stirred? I'm like, oh, here we go. Here we go. You know, you get people in the chat every day that try to say this sucks. I'm like, just go listen to Howard Stern. And yell and scream at Howard. How much he sucks. And then maybe you'll get to be eventually Howard Stern after taking it off like the whole fucking summer. Now he's back doing one show a week. And serious XM is trying to make it a big fucking deal. The guy was complaining about being at a Bruce Springsteen show. And he was complaining not a little aside, not a little thing. Because when you do this every day, you got little things you throw out there for sure. Throw it away. And on and on and on and on and on about people at concerts. Instead of enjoying the show, they're recording the show. He went on for the whole

18:3010, 15 minutes. I was waiting for my daughter. I was like, how, how is this on any platform? This stinks. That would be an aside, you know, where you would maybe for a few Friday, you go, my few is people that, you know, lift their phones up during your concert. But why would that bother me? I don't give a shit. Why would that bother you? And that's all he talked about for 10 straight minutes. I was like, this is insane. He had a whole summer off. And this is what he's got on his docket. I think you might have been AI Howard Stern. I don't even think that was real. I don't think it was real. I think that's I have to they're trying to make a big deal out of it. Like he's John Stewart and Rachel Maddow just does once a week. Oh, please. He stinks. AI Stern. So I knew I knew this Monday was his inaugural show, right? Yeah. So I wanted to have some material for today. Dude, you didn't stop touching it. They have to stop touching it. Not actually. It just feels better if I droop the eye. Oh, that's it. Stop it. Stop it. Curseing the whole thing.

19:31Cut it. It's like my style is breathing right now. Oh, it's breathing. It feels so good. As long as I just walk around like this, you look like you got punched in a little rascal. You look like that fucking my stupid style has more talent than that. Do I'm Howard Stern? You should have stayed home hour. You stink. Oh, the style should do once a week. The style should do once a week. That's my recommendation. Jesus Christ. When I keep doing that, it's because the Vaseline gets caught and everything goes black. All right. So yeah, so I decided to, you know, check them out because what's the big deal? And I cannot believe after taking the whole summer off his gripe is that people are lifting their phones or recording Bruce Springsteen. Of course, you're going to record Bruce Springsteen. How many more tours does he have left? If I was at a Bruce Springsteen show, I would go, oh, this is one of my favorite songs. I'm going to record this. I did that at Pearl Jam.

20:32Who cares, Howard? Gives a shit. You know, because Monday was his first show. So I wanted to have something to talk about for us. So I was like, all right, first show, you know, it's going to be the big guest. It's going to be the big fucking guest, right? So I was like, who was Howard's first guest? Yeah. And the response was there was no guest for Howard's Star Wars first show. So Howard's don't even have a big guest for his first show. And steady wanted to talk about people recording concerts on their phones. But like, no, but I mean, serious, Hopi, I don't know the industry. Isn't it like standard operating procedure to have the big guest? I mean, for the opening show? Look, when you do this every day, you got to fill up a lot of space. I mean, not an hour a day like we're doing. What are we doing? Actually, we do 40 minutes a day, maybe 45 minutes a day. This is a walk in the park. But when you're doing like a four hour show, you got to fill up some fucking time. And day after day, you start running on a material. And that's where the real talent comes in, you know, where you make it work Monday through Friday, four or five hours a day. But if he's doing like one show a week,

21:37and he can't fill it up with good shit, that's that means it's over, Johnny. It's over. Cut him, Nick. Dude, I could do an hour on the style. But I'm like, you know what? We got other things to talk about. So I think I did the style material. I read my stupid poem. That wasn't AI, Ron. And I'll try, I'll try AIing a style poem. It'll be way better than that one. And then it's time to move on. That's all time to move on to like weapons and spit. Why is it he talking about weapons? Space or weapons and space? They're absolutely are. We put what? Why do you think we named it the Space Force? We made it our new military branch. So we had to put we had to put weapons in space. Can I can I have the take that no one see this? Why you need to listen to us and not have stupid howards? Oh, I'm not even worried about Howard. He wouldn't even be on for another week. This is the take that no one has given you today. What was I? Where lying? We're lying. We don't have weapons in space. Oh, we're lying. Because we can't we're all if China if China goes prove you have weapons in space. All Trump has to say is no,

22:41you're going to have to believe me. We don't have weapons in space. But to say we have weapons in space, they have to take a seriously because they they don't know. They don't know. They can't prove that we have weapons in space. So why wouldn't you tell the world we have weapons in space? We have the back weapons. We have the most weapons. The biggest weapons. The best weapons. Right. Boys, boys. We have weapons space. Do you know how I know? No. Because fucking Majory Taylor Green told us a couple of years ago. We got lasers in space. Those were not lasers. Oh, I'm not. The Jews. But she already said the Jews have lasers in space. So yeah, hello. Oh, God, dude. Can you look like one of those fucking zombie movies where like, hey, did OP get bit? And they're like, yeah, look at his eye. Yeah, it's breathing right now. Oh, yeah, it's a kind of like, oh my god. You know, and it's really you know, it fixes that a space laser. Little space laser in the eye. But I don't think we have we have weapons in space.

23:45But but it's kind of cool to tell the world we do. Well, do I think we have weapons of space? Yes, because where we where under Donald Trump's first administration? Hold on. Yeah. He created space force. Space force. So I assume space force has some weapons. Where are the where? Where? Well, they're not going to tell you. Are they clothing around up there? Yes, it satellites. By the way, yes. Hello. Oh, that's a weather satellite. No, it's not as soon as we have. It's fucking. There's going to be a space school shooting. You'll see as soon as we have space schools. School schools. You don't think they have you don't think they have satellites up there. And they call them like telescopes for NASA or weather satellite bullshit, bro. Those are fucking spy satellites. Those are fucking juiced lasers in space. We don't have lasers in space. We don't have the weather. We control the weather. Yeah. No, we don't have them, man. No. Well, where are they on the International Space Station? That's going to fall down in a few years. Is that where the weapons are? Are they just floating around willy nilly? You think you think a

24:47weather satellite has the power to shoot a a weapon from space. It'll get the skies. It has a weather satellite. Wow. Okay. Right. Oh, I forgot. You believe in mermaids too. So. Yeah. I believe what's reality and the reality is you got to expand your fucking mind. Sasquatch is real. They call them bigfoot aliens are real. Why is there pictures of Sasquatch aliens and flying saucers and mermaids on cave walls? Because that's what early, early humans drew what they saw. All right. I kind of agree with agree with you on the cave fucking drawings, but they were shitty artists because some people go out that looks like a spaceship. Other people will say, I look like an acorn. Why do they have shitty artists back then? They had no one to do their ones. All the scary dinosaurs, even though we didn't live with dinosaurs, but they were scared of them. All they were dealing was was inventing fire and and they had time to draw on the

25:49fucking walls and they had shitty artists back then. Thank you. Did you say that cavemen were scared of dinosaurs? I said we didn't live with dinosaurs. I'm smarter than you run. You didn't hear the you didn't hear the rant where I said, but we didn't live with dinosaurs. Oh, yeah. You're smarter than me. Smarter than you. I'm smart enough not to get one of those disgusting grubs. I stives. I mean, I mean, it's like a building when you open it up, you look like that movie that's staying with and the epic with Kurt Russell. It's scary. I love. He says that. Wait, let me go back to his comment. I saw it here. He says I got the. Ow. I can't see what I can't I can't see the chat. I'm sorry. Are you serious? Yeah, dude, it's a vass. Don't he goes, put this drop in your eye. So I'm like this and the stuff is a slime. You don't when you do drops, it goes, this is just like sludge comes out of the thing and it hits your eye and it's like I can only describe it as like Vaseline. But Vincent's caramuzzo said I got this because

26:55I let my sheets kind of sit all summer and subdued and dust probably. He's not wrong because we did clean everything before we left for the summer. But yeah, I don't you just like sheets on all summer to get dust. That's what you did. You just you had four month old sheets. Just wait. Oh, I know you know what's going to be great when I come back from a nice long summer break. I'm going to be in the same. I'm going to be in these sheets from April. That's going to be good. Yeah. I'm not I'm not fucking around right now. Yeah. Your uh, Manhattan apartment was incubated in fucking sourdough sports, which can be which become poisonous. Oh, no, no. And that means you're fucking sheets and everything else was was saturated and that and dust mites. Uh, you slept in filth. By the way, yeah, and surprisingly, they get like really sick from the from the sourdough. I know. You got a lot of building seven in your in your sheets and in your eye now. That's

27:55what it is. That air quality. Since you left, they declassified a whole bunch of air quality and that's all in your sheets. Right. Well, you know, the uh, by the way, some guys spamming the chat with two dollars. I don't read your crap for two dollars. Um, I my sourdough hobby has to go away. Eric marino. I thought I would be like what are our tea are teas what's that word? Are seasonal? Yeah. Yeah. I. Tissinal. I Tissinal. Why? I Tissinal. Our Tissinal. Our Tissinal. Artichetal. Whatever. Oh, uh, uh, uh, he's gonna kill off. Oh, that feels good. Um, And I thought I'd be artisanal and have that sourdough where I could put on the counter for my wife because she likes sourdough and I enjoy cooking kind of And then I thought I would put the nice marks in it like they have it the bakeries Oh, yes, I would present this sourdough to my wife and after I don't know about six months of trying I would just plop down just

28:56Blobs of shit on the counter going here's my latest sourdough and then she loves me So she's eating it. This isn't that bad and the density was insane It was like one of those meteors you see at the museum where how could this possibly be this heavy, but it is That's what my bread was like and then what Ryan is referring to then I My starter sock so I put it in I have this little oven above my big oven and we don't use the little oven Because we don't really know what it is they put it in the years ago. I don't know what I don't know what I don't know what it is So I was like you know what that's a more place I'll put the sourdough starter in there. Well story short kept it in there a little too long and it made my apartment smell like there was a dead body rotting in the closet somewhere At this day the apartment still smells because my sourdough went bad Well, you know what happened and what it's I'm not even being facetious you had a yeast infection and your fucking apartment Is that what it is? I'm just infected

29:57Gross You still have that you need a cleaning your eye needs to spring cleaning hell yeah, so what do you guys got because I literally have a Stye in my eye. That's all I have for today. Well, we we've talked about it for 29 minutes Technology made banking easier travel easier shopping easier home insurance is still catching up Kin is changing that smart technology that helps you find coverage fast and real people when you actually need them Simple tools faster help no trade-offs home insurance that finally makes sense go to kin.com slash podcast That's k-i-n.com Forward slash podcast can refers to kin distributor insurance services a licensed California Circles Lines broker Insurance that is not licensed or regulated by the California Insurance Commissioner Well, let's talk about the threat of AI that rhymes with style and remember if you don't think AI's a threat Just remember Mitch McConnell's back everybody Oh my god or the robot AI that they've invented. I think he's an imposter. He got frozen

30:59It's we got weakened in Bernie's back in the Senate. He's back Dude This AI is a real threat to humanity. I just saw a documentary on Netflix That's horrifying that just came out only a couple days ago. They talk about how this technology could be the greatest thing ever in humanities history Or we could be extinct within like six years It's gonna be the war It's gonna be either or so for Trump and the rest of those idiots down there Washington to not take these experts seriously The what what what's going on is the money money money that that important to these people that they got ignore the AI It's it's a it's a real threat to humanity and then you go Well, at least we got people like Mitch McConnell. They'll help us and then you got he's a fucking He's a zombie in a wheelchair that looks like looks like we can at Bernie's and he's guys like that are supposed to help us out Through this AI thing is he I'm saying he's an animatronic Muppet I'm saying he's been replaced by the Imagineeers and Jim Henson Muppet shop

32:00That's what I'm saying that's what I was it that AI has taken over its first senator SkyNet has a senator and it is Mitch McConnell They've taken him that's AI Mitch McConnell. He's a robot. That's all fictional that CGI. Why why would why but why didn't they make Mitch McConnell look more Youthful and younger. I know you can't like to totally make him look like he's 40 years old But why make him look like shit if you're replacing him with this robot technology. Oh, no, no He Mitch McConnell's 400 years old so they're great. Oh, you don't understand. He's been around since the Civil War. He's actually a vampire And then you hear online everyone talking about term women shot your Talk to the wall These guys will never vote for term limits. They got the greatest jobs in the world Why would they go? Yeah, you know this job is so great. I'm gonna I'm gonna put term limits on it So when you screen term limits now that they're they don't hear you Well, they'll never do that. What what grass Lee? What's his name grass Lee isn't he like 88? What Chuck Grassley from Iowa?

33:04Is it like 98 years old? Not anymore. He's been he's been rebooted now. It's grass Lee 2.0 AI So he's gonna be good with us another 68 years It's but it's ridiculous, but truly ridiculous Sure, haven't you seen the great the AI controversy coming out of Texas where archmaning the new quarterback had to apologize for AI and AI slapping of a reporter What's it's about it wasn't a real slap? Okay, so there was the big game Texas number four plays Ohio State at home number one team in the country they were down 23 to 3 but come storming back to win 24 to 23 in the final seconds afterwards Holly row the reporter for ABC or whatever wants to give the after interview the after game interview to the Steve Sarkeesian the head coach and he didn't have time so he said hookam horns and he ran off real quick Well that hit the internet and then they took AI and AI when he goes hookam horns They now animate they animate stark the coach slapping the reporter Holly row and knocking you to the ground now apparently archmaning

34:08Then saw that on the internet liked it and I talked about that he liked it He talked about liking an AI fictional thing and then he had to apologize for it You're because it was no it's real. It's a real thing yet. I mean he made a hole You made a whole state by the way you can see that the the manning PR family right PR forum came out and they Managed his his he apologized over Instagram the kid only has like 33 posts on Instagram But one of them is him apologizing that he has to remember he's a guy in college He has to learn and learn to do better and he shouldn't alike didn't he's got to be more respectful That you know that I don't like things that didn't actually happen that's you know it's an AR cartoon now It is violence against women, but it didn't it didn't actually happen no, but AI is like AI is like cartoons You know what I mean? AI is like cartoon. It's not real. So you can be a little laugh at that Physical humor slapstick humor on AI give me a break. Well, there was definitely a slap that was definitely a slap to that slapstick But I mean you know the AI is also hey, it's got you know

35:08We have fake Donald Trump going in New Mexico and right dancing and saying it's new Americans that a new Mexico That's like you know we now have we have an AI president, you know We just need one high IQ president to keep us safe from AI. That's what he tells us What I what I like about the AI when it first popped everyone's like you we're not gonna know what's what's real or not You know that most people right away say that's AI right away. Yeah, we went the other way with it like that's AI But people thought it would be like oh my god. We're not gonna know what's real or what's not People are gonna get tricked down We're all a bunch of assholes and right away. We go that AI That's a way with the whole thing, but I think you should be able to laugh at a weird AI shit online I really do we left at crazy stuff in our cartoons. It wasn't real, but it was funny If it's funny, it's funny Why is it that now this kid's got a worry because he thought the AI video was funny? I'm sure he respects women. I'm sure he's not an asshole. So why can't you go? Oh, that's really funny

36:11But I do respect women, but that's that's a ridiculous AI video that I thought was that was good. I don't get it You should not apologize to these people because you give them power You give it. It's okay. You didn't actually apologize. He had his AI chat agent of all that's for him So that should literally go look I thought it was funny and that's it. Sorry. I respect women, but I thought that was funny Sorry, I was playing behind those plants behind Ron aren't real. They're not even there Ron's being very quiet today. What's up, Ron? Nothing. What do you want me to do boys? You're going at it You want me to do you want me to interrupt you? We'd like you to be part of the conversation Ron. No, Ron. Well Ron did send me something you want me to direct Oh wait, I'm reading about my crap. Okay Where's Ron? Oh, yeah, Ron you sent this though. Yeah You sent the the ET toy Oh My mother took it away from me. Did you really have this growing up in

37:161982 the ET finger ET finger like huh? It's called the ET finger light sure I don't remember this thing you remember that Eric marina sure do I have one of the certainly me right now Yeah, yeah, the finger for well, we used to say for her pleasure the finger for her pleasure look at that right So you get it search your finger and then at the tip of your finger There was a little button that you could push to light up the tip of the finger. Okay, you know ET Huge hit right. Yeah, so in 1982 By the way, I mean merchandising hello merch They decide you know the geniuses decide let's do a ET finger light ET phone home Well show the picture one more time within within two months with I'm sorry within three months. They had to take it off the shelves

38:16There it is and and and why do you think so? My mother took it away from me. No, that means that means someone did something with that and ended up in the emergency room That's why Someone went too far with with you I think she took it. I think your mom took it away from her so she could share it with Rose Kennedy bro You come on you you know some like high school kids There's like the boy friends got the finger on and the girlfriend's like You know you ever you ever walked down the feminine aisle of CBS or a ride aid I spent time there everything is made for women so they could insert it everything There's marketing geniuses out there look at there look at that there are their shampoo bottles look at look at their deodorants Everything was made for a second purpose. There's marketing geniuses out there Why do you think we invented electric toothbrushes? Do people really give a shit if their teeth are that clay now now? Said hey if we electrify this fucking thing

39:18Well, they're gonna fly off the shelves because women are gonna be like oh, yeah, I know what you're getting at with this They even have the little plastic thing that goes over the brushes. Why? So that doesn't scrape out scrape out your your good parts I've been on to them for a what right? I'm taking it all in I'm taking in your your I didn't know Dental hygiene in electric toothbrushes were a rotica a hundred percent That's why they had that plastic thing that goes over the the brush Because they're like well if someone's gonna use this we got to make sure they they use it safely If there's anything that's erotic that is marketed for women It's the lipstick container Shake like a steely dan Which is a name for a dildo by the way steely dan Dan named after a dildo Right at the still so

40:19I'll look to container looks like a steely dan and then when you open it up and turn it you get red dog dick And then they take that red dog dick and they put it right on their fucking mouth That's marketed for women bro, you made that really sexy. Thank you for that Remember when he wasn't talking There was a part of the show where you're like boy runs being really quiet Ron and then this just all came out Huh, I'm kind of hot right now From that The way I said it and presented it oh yeah Jesus right stood Makes it feel better. Oh me you're this fucking close To getting yourself in a bubble like John to vote like you're like you do you look like a bio hazard Thanks Ron. I appreciate you too. Thank you very much. By the way, I think I have a solution for it

41:20What This is what my mother told me ice cream scooper if you ever get stung by a jellyfish pee on it If you ever get athletes foot pee on it No dude have someone pee in your eye I know no no, I'm not norton for what's wrong with you now Ha ha ha He in your own eye. Yeah, that's that thank you, Ron. You're a true friend. By the way you know Jim Norton Is gonna have a big rant about that Australian extreme athlete who shit herself. Oh, that's gonna be Jim Norton's like a new special All right, I gotta let you in on the process of doing this so uh Ron Since yesterday he's been obsessing about us showing the video of the the woman shitting herself And I'm like, Ron, I don't know how I could show a woman shitting herself on the internet in You told us there's gotta be a way. There's gotta be a way. We gotta show the woman shitting herself He was obsessing about it. Do Eric she's hot. He's like it's going viral. We gotta split

42:24But if you're blur it out he goes if you're blur it out It's not gonna have the same effect. I'm like, Ron. We can't show that Can you show the still picture? I said you can you put it up? Remember I don't get pictures and everything. Can you still just still picture? Well, I don't know. Yeah, well you got I gotta trust you guys that this picture is blurred because everything is blurred on on me right now Oh, this is the woman that crap. Remember I told you that picture and you went Well, yeah, but show it back side. Wait, wait, wait, wait, run, run. You got a type you said this is hot Dude, she's hot too come on. She's a man. Baby. No, she's hot. I'm gonna choose ready. That's a man. That's a man Hands over backside. I can't show this Not You're you're you're a creep Radio head another band fucking awaits us hates Dude, I can't show the pick. No, I can't show the picture of of duty. Just

43:25Pouring down her legs. I'm sorry, Ryan. I'm sorry that I'm gonna disappoint you. Can I give you the imagery? You ever go to the imagery. No, but you ever go to those dessert bars and they have the chocolate fountain And it's and you can dip like a strawberry dude. It looks like a chocolate fountain coming down her legs And you can dip a strawberry on right under leg Good morning. Good morning. Enjoy your day everybody. Yeah Technology made banking easier travel easier shopping easier home insurance is still catching up Kin is changing that smart technology that helps you find coverage fast and real people when you actually need them simple tools faster help no trade-offs Home insurance that finally makes sense go to kin.com slash podcast. That's k-i-n.com Forward slash podcast kin refers to kin distributor insurance services a licensed California surplus lines broker Ensure that it's not licensed or regulated by the California insurance commissioner