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Jack Benny - Jack Practices The Bee

Jack Benny

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Jack Benny - Jack Practices The Bee

Jack Benny

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Jack BennyJack Benny - Jack Practices The Bee. Machine-transcribed; use the interactive transcript above to jump the player to any line.

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And with great deals across the lineup, now's the time to find yours. But hurry, these deals won't last long. Toyota's easy choice sales event ends soon. We make it easy. Toyota, let's go places. JGTLL! Oh! The JELLOW program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston and Phil Harris and his orchestra. The orchestra puts a program with right or wrong from Happy Golucky. The JELLOW program is on. The JELLOW program is on. The JELLOW program is on. The JELLOW program is on. The JELLOW program is on. Dinner is ready. Those three words are certainly welcome words when you're hungry. But they're doubly welcome when followed by these three words, JELLOW for dessert. A good dinner that ends up with a generous, delicious helping of JELLOW always makes a hit with everyone. Or JELLOW is so colorful and at the same time so refreshing

that it's a perfect dessert. Good-looking, grand tasting, and inexpensive. JELLOW is first in favor because it's first in flavor. Extra rich fruit flavor that no other JELLOW can dessert in the world can equal. At all six JELLOW flavors, strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, and lime come from fresh ripe fruits. That's why JELLOW brings you such added richness and goodness. But remember, there is only one JELLOW. They'll be sure to ask for it by name. Get the real thing in CISTA and Genuine JELLOW. JELLOW is the best dessert ever. It's a great dessert. It's a great dessert. It's a great dessert. It's a great dessert. It's a great dessert. It's a great dessert. Now, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you a man who has a child who has had hooping costs, measles, and violin lessons, Jack Benny.

KILLOW again. This is not Jack Benny talking. So, who do you think it is? Now, Gen. No. No. Give up. It's me. And a knife spoke. Wait a minute, Mary. Wait a minute. What's the idea? He had a jump in. You know where he is, John? No, but he can't be very far. He left his shoes here. Maybe he's breaking in a new fire. He gets me to one on that. He ought to hope nothing's happened to him. Did you notice a jackson acting kind of strange all week sort of, jittery life? Yeah. The fast and noon he had a mere glass of milk and it was molded before I could grab it. Why, he goes around with a violin under his arm and keeps muttering to himself. What's wrong with him anyway? He's got a bad case of Fred Allen. He has? Is it catching? No. Hello, kids. What's the trouble? Oh, Phil. Do you know where Jack is? Sure, he's in the next room, practicing his violin. Oh.

He's been in there all day rehearsing that number called the beam and with the door closed too. Well, I'd help. Open the door, Mary. Call him out here, please. OK. Hmm. Hey, close that door. Don't worry, we will. What are you doing, Jack? What am I doing? What's this I got under my chin? Another chin. I mean, under both of them, I'm practicing the B. Say, I thought you said you could play the B when you were a kid. Well, I could. But a lot of honey has gone over the dam since then. Oh, boy, that's a pimp. Did you get it, Kenny? Not yet, but a will. Well, keep right after it is a hot one.

Down that violin, Fred Allen too. Anyway, you fell and go ahead with the program. And Kenny, get ready to do your song. I want to perfect Mike Adenton. Telegram for Jack's Betty. Take it, Mary. I'm busy. OK. Oh, Jack, isn't this wonderful? What? On a kind of Javale and they've renamed the town and flared after you. Oh, yeah. What's the call now? Off P West. That's all. Let him say in there, we can get along without him. I heard that. These doors, lambs, come to you through the courtesy of our sound effects man who works for the Nigel Broadcast and company. Over whose network we broadcast each and every Sunday night, bringing you good news about Jello. Thank you. And our Kenny Baker will sing that fairly popular hit I've got you under my skin. Wait a minute, Kenny. I just thought of a swell joke you can pull on Jack. Yeah, what is it?

Well, you tell him you're going to sing a number dedicated to his violence. Yeah. And when he asks you what it is, you say, I've got you under my chin. Oh, boy, really last. Very well, call him out. Gee, that's a pimp. Oh, boy, hey, Jack. Yeah? I'm going to do a song dedicated to your violence. Now, you ask me what it is. All right, Kenny, what is it? The chick to see. What? What I'd tell you. Yeah, he didn't get it at all. You better sing, Kenny. Oh, boy. I've got you under my chin. I've got you deep in the heart of me.

So deep in my heart, you're really a part of me. I've got you under my chin. I tried so not to give in. I said to myself, this affair never will go. But why should I try to resist and darling, I know, oh, well, I've got you under my chin. I'd sacrifice anything come what might for the sake of having you near in five of a warning voice that comes in the night. And repeat, and repeat in my ear.

Don't you know to fool you never can win? The unjorm and cowardly wake up to reality. But it's time I do what the father of the home makes me proud before I begin. Oh, I've got you under my chin. I've got you under my chin. I've got you deep in my heart.

That was I've got you under my chin. From the motion picture born to dance sung by never mind, Don, I'll take it. I'm through practicing. That was cheek to cheek sung by Kenny Baker. I didn't hear it, Kenny, but I imagine it was very good. How was it, fellas? Good, I knew it would be. Thanks, Jack. Of course, I suppose Fred Allen will go around saying you can't sing. Well, can I? Yes, can I. But he takes on everybody, especially when they have talent. Take my case, friends. Hold on a minute, Jack. I never heard Fred say anything just from it. I'll tell you or anyone else. He never dies. Oh, I suppose you didn't hear him say that when I was 10 years old, I had my violin and a pawn shop.

Well, didn't you? That's not the point. It was years later. And another thing. Allen isn't even his right name. You know that very, don't you? Is that any year? And another thing. He should be the last one to talk. His product only got one flavor. Wow, so it. Let him talk that one. What happened? Nothing, but it was loud. Well, Jack, I noticed in today's paper where Allen is coming out here to Hollywood to make a picture. Oh, he is. That will cause me or Gable to lose any fleet. Me neither. You keep on. A lot of ways of Gable. Well, I can say is good luck to Mr. Allen and pictures. Of course, there's a limit to what a makeup man can do.

A Mary? You ought to know. Well, let's drop the subject. I don't care who's coming out here to make pictures. Nobody worries me. Especially Allen. Yeah, then what happened to your fingernails? I was hungry. Now, let's go out with the program. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we are going to present an original. Come in. Mr. Benny? Yes. I want to take this opportunity of wishing you and your company a very, very happy New Year. Oh, wait a minute. I'm getting tired of this. Who are you anyway? Just a dreamer. Aren't we all? Goodbye. I thought it was Oscar the Pleas there. Now, somebody will throw a net over him. And now, ladies and gentlemen, as I was saying, we are going to present an original. They jacked. Yes, Phil. I meant to tell you, my mother and sister got in town yesterday from Mobile, Alabama. Oh, from Mobile, eh?

I wish it was Montgomery. Our sponsor comes there. It was fun. You know, it was kind of a surprise visit. And I'd like to have you and the rest of the gang come over to the Hobbes tonight and meet him. Oh, we'd love to, Phil, but we can't go until the program is over. Oh, you go ahead. Well, join your later. No, no, no. The program comes first. Oh, wait, here's a snapshot of Mom and Phil. Oh, let's see it. Say your mother's a charming looking woman, Phil. And well, so that's your sister. Mmm, you know, she's real cute. Wow. What's her name, Phil? Lucy Bell. Lucy Bell. Is she married? No, not yet. Well, as long as your mother came all the way out here, maybe we only leave right away. Well, of course, my sister made the trip here. She's telling me. Have you got a brother, Phil? No. Oh, well, I'll come anyway. Sure, come on. Let's go. Say, have we got any horses left over from our buck, Benny, play? Sure, they're over there in the corner. Well, then we're all set. Let's ride them over. Don, you take care of the musical numbers. And we'll see you later.

Okay, Jack. Leave everything to me. Come on, Phil. Let's untie those horses. Oh, my God. You look all more. I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave. It's all most like horses. You know what I mean? I'm going to leave. There it is. Everybody, all set? Yes, yes. Wait a minute. Kenny, turn around on that saddle. You're facing the wrong end of the horse. What horse? Never mind. Come on, Jack. Yes, please.

I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave.

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A man from the Chamber of Commerce. Oh, Kenny, this is Kenny Baker, Mrs. Harris. I'd like you to meet him. Oh, so now we've been listening to you for a long, long time. And I sure am glad to meet you, Quentin. Sure, no. What? Never mind. Oh, Mary, Mary, and Mrs. Harris, I want you to meet Mary Livingston. Well, well, little Mayor. How are you all? Call me a fine, thank you. How's your gang? Mary. Well, Jack, how do you like my mom? She's all right. I can understand how she has such a nice son and charming daughters. She, I'm hungry. You know, Mrs. Harris, Kenny is always hungry. But I can imagine why, with that delightful aroma coming from the kitchen, I wonder what it is. My cockroach.

Why, that joke's only good in the West anyway. Hey, you know, Mrs. Harris, Kenny, oh, Kenny. What? Put that goldfish back in the bowl. Well, I'm hungry. Well, it's called back anyway. What happened? He forgot to let go of the fish. Too bad it can swell, man. They feel, where's your sister, Lucy Bale? Oh, she'll be down in the minute. You know, I saw her picture. I wonder what's keeping her. Maybe she saw your picture. Don't be funny. Hey, Jack, here comes Lucy Bale now. Oh, boy. Stop shaking. Who's shaking? Come here, Lucy Bale. I want you to say hello to Jack Benny. Now, how do you do? There's a show of play, Mr. Benny, and I've just taken things in these two. Well, I'm taking things too, Lucy Bale. You know, Phil showed me your picture and it doesn't flatter you on this. Are you cowboys just say those things?

No, no, I mean that. You don't feel your sister sweet enough to eat. Better keep her away from Kenny. Quiet. Oh, Lucy Bale, this is Mary Living, son. Well, me, really. I show and take a thing to meet you. I'm taking a thing to meet you, too. That's take a thing. Oh, find my northern accent. True. Oh, sis, that young man climbing out of the goldfish bowl is Kenny Bacon. Oh, next to Baytas. I show and take a thing to meet you all. Thanks, if you got a towel. Kenny, go over by the fireplace and dry up. Well, Lucy Bale, I hope you're... I hope you're enjoying your stay here in Hollywood. How I show and it's been a real thrill seeing all the movie stars in Tasis. I imagine so. Tell me who are the favorite movie stars on your way? Oh, Anne Southern and Dick's in me.

Well, I can understand that, though. How sweet, like Caroline, along with you. Oh, you like George your rap and Charles Butterwood? Oh, huh. You know, I make pictures, too. You do? Well, who's my man? Well, I have a change. My name's Jacksonville Benny. Yeah, and I have to be Maryland Livingston. Maryland. And I have to be Kenny Suckers. Kenny, throw a log in the fire and don't let go. You know, Mr. Benny, I thought you were just a radio actor. Really, I did. Well, I dabble into the bit. Do you like radio Lucie Bell? Yes, I just don't, Fred Allen. Do you? Well, yes, I do. Personally, I prefer the more subtle type of humor. Oh, well, I think he's just great.

Well, everyone to their own taste. Or he doesn't come from the south. Lucie Bell, before you lead Tom, we'll have to step up together to maybe take in a movie or something. Oh, I just love that, Mr. Benny. You know, I thought any can take you to the south and you? You did. What was it? He called me and Kenny from Bernie Hale. Yes, that is good, though. Oh, Jack. What? I know another small picture she can see. What is it? Lawy's of Memphis. Go sit down, will you? Oh, boy. What are you doing, Kenny? I'm reading a funny thing. That's a family album. He's still right. Oh, Mr. Baca, can you write an album? I want to show you folks and pictures of Phil when he was a little boy. Oh, Lucie Bell, don't do that.

Oh, that reminds me. You know what they used to call Phil when he was a baby? What? Phil, be lame. Phil, be lame. Phil, be lame. Phil, be lame. Oh, that's rich. You should play. Yes. Remember what they called you when you were a kid? Mary Quiet. Thank you, pie. That's old. Oh, here's a picture I wanted to show you. Is I a favorite? Which one? Right here. Right here? Phil, when he was three weeks old, it was taken on our plantation, Dan Cells. Oh, Cells, don't show them that one. Three weeks old. They've got much clothing on there, have you? Mary, what are you laughing at? Southern exposure. Oh, yeah. And she's a dual Phil. Now, better stop Wilson.

Hello, everybody. Hello, Dan. Hello, how are you? Hi, folks. Why Andy Divine? What are you doing here? Well, Jack Andy dropped in at the studio, so I thought I'd bring him along. Oh, sure. I hope I'm not in Truton. And Mrs. Harris, this is Don Wilson and this is Andy Divine. How do you do? Grab the new you. A Lucie Bell gets the gentleman a course drive. Don't bother, Mrs. Harris. He always talks like that. Oh, boys, this is Phil, sister, Lucie Bell. Here, come, folks. So, and take a tape to meet you, boys. I told you so. Yeah, if I'd have known this, I wouldn't have got this haircut. Oh, you look all right. Control yourself, Andy. Now, I don't like him fools on you, folks, but you're also talented. Why don't you give us a little entertainment? Well, Mrs. Harris, your son's things are pretty hot songs. How about having Phil start the ball rolling? Why, come on, everybody. Where's the piano?

28th. I did not. Come on, Phil. What are you going to sing? Well, here's a copy of Delively right here on the piano. How about that? Well, what about that? Well, what about that? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. What do you want, piano? How about that? Well, what a coincidence. Who put it there? You did. All right, come on. Get it, fellas. That's your feeling. Tonight is long, skies are clear. But if you want to go walking, be vista-lifel. Delicious, delively. I understand. The reason why you're sentimental, cause so am I. Delively, delicious, delively. You can tell at a glance what a swell night is this. Or a man you can hear, oh, my, the nature murmur and low. Let yourself go so please, sweet, my chickadee. And when I kiss you, just say to me, it's delively.

It's delicious, it's delectable, it's delirious, it's delimous, it's delimous, it's delucous, it's delively. Woo! It's delimous, it's delimous. It's delimous, it's delimous. Oh, yeah, that was good, Phil, really. Mary, how about you singing a chorus? I will if I had to, you'll sing a wip me. Well, I can't, I got a cold. Well, you shouldn't have got that haircut. Come on, I know more coaxing, huh? Wait a minute, Jack, we don't know the words. You don't. Here's the copy for Emerson, this. Oh, thanks, John. I'm afraid of this, but go ahead. Come on, both of you. Oh, you're so happy to hear that, fellas, will you? And it's always a good old man. When you're dining now, an order to be sued, be sure and have some yellow tooth. It's delightful, it's delicious, it's delimous. And if you're old, be late at night, and want something that's very light.

It's delimous, it's delimous, it's delimous. It is easy to make. You can watch it quiver and just be a taste. You can hear mother in the kitchen murmuring, long. Let yourself be. Oh, thank you, sir. And when I serve a just say to me, it's these job areas. It's the raspberry. It's the cherry. It's the orange. It's the lemon. It's the lime. It's the nuts. It's the love. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Say, that was quite like an even forgivest of time. Well, Mrs. Harris is getting kind of late, and I think we'll have to be going. Oh, I'm sorry, you're happily so soon. You must come again sometime. Oh, we'll be glad to.

Goodbye, Mrs. Harris. It's been delightful. Thank you. Bye, Mrs. Harris. Goodbye, right? Come again. Goodbye, Mrs. Harris. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Good night, Mrs. Harris. Good night, my boy. County, put down Lucy Bell and go home. Well, Lucy Bell, I say behind. I just want to say again, it's been a real thrill meeting you. Been delightful. And you're just de-lovely. Oh, Mr. Vanning, you say the cleverest thing. I do, don't I? Oh, I'd love to have you come over to our broadcast sometime, maybe next Sunday, huh? Oh, I do, the tickle, please. Doesn't he get tickled any other color? Don't mind her, Lucy Bell. Well, Lucy Bell, can I take you home? Well, I'll be right here. Oh, that's right. Well, goodbye, Lucy Bell. Goodbye, Mr. Vanning. I mean, yes.

Guys. Well, goodbye. Why don't you open the door? Do I know what I'm doing? Come on, Mary. Lucy, call me, yes. Wow.

That was the last number of the 17th program in the new Lucy Bell. I mean, the new yellow series. And I hope she'll be with us again next Sunday night. I don't know what's the matter with me. Oh, Jack, put yourself together. You're always letting some girl upset you. I'm not upset. You stop smoking a fountain pen. Ladies and gentlemen, at this time, I would like to announce our program for next Sunday. As you all know, we have never been on the air during the month of July. And we have a lot of fourth of July jokes, which are just cluttering up the studio. Our janitor refuses to do anything about it. So therefore, next Sunday, January 31, we will do our special fourth of July broadcast. So listen in and try to keep warm at the same time.

Good night, folks. Good night. Good night. Today, keep out of the whole world. The two in the middle of the room, the yellow program is on season. I'll be holding it over the red network. It's an actual broadcast in trouble. OK, FI Los Angeles. This episode sponsored by Good Ranchers. Most people don't realize this, but over 85% of the grass-fed beef sold in the US is actually imported from overseas. It's a system that often pushes out American farmers and ranchers. That's why it matters to be intentional about where you buy your meat. That's why I choose Good Ranchers. Good ranchers connects you directly with local American farms and ranches. 100% American meat, pasture raised, no antibiotics, no added hormones, delivered straight to your door.

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