Lauren Magers | Are We Doing Too Much for Our Kids?

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2:02Hey, everybody. Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. Today's for parents or people who want to be parents or just anyone who's curious about parenting, I feel like parenting now has become more confusing than ever. There's gentle parenting. There's attachment parenting. There's boundaries. There's regulating emotions. Screen time, independence is so overwhelming, but everyone on the internet has an opinion about what you're doing right and what you're probably f***ing up. So my guest today, Lauren Majors, has spent the last 15 years trying to answer much bigger questions like how do we intentionally raise extraordinary human beings? So Lauren became a mom in a pretty unconventional way. She adopted two boys at 22, had more children, and then by 25, she was raising four kids. That experience eventually led her to create the happy life system, which she calls the world's first family operating system. So I'm going to ask all the questions about that. I feel like anything with parenting becomes controversial. So I'm excited to hear what you guys think. Here's Lauren. You had a very different entrance into motherhood than most people. So you adopted

3:06boys at 22 years old. Tell me the start of how this all happened. Because 22 years old, I couldn't even take care of myself. So I came from family dysfunction. A lot of my life was external, old parenting, soap in the mouth, beating all of these things, grounding. When I was little, I was like, there's absolutely no way that families are supposed to operate at this frequency and this much tension. I remember this chaotic... Yeah, oh yeah. I was always... I was the renegade. So the black sheep, right? They always say the black sheep is the goat, right? And I was like, oh, give me more soaps, make my ass harder, four years old. So when I was young, I always had this vision of me being this mother. I felt this intensity within my soul, my beingness of being like motherhood. I cannot wait to be my own mother because the way that obviously I was parented to, I knew I was going to do completely different. So fast forward, I got a D1 scholarship. I played at the University of Arizona soccer, right? Five foot Argentinian. I'm just a fighter. Like, I'm a survivor fighter triumph person. And I moved to Las Vegas. I opened all the nightclubs,

4:11do all the thing, party my ass off, right? All the fun stuff. I'm sure, yeah, we could talk about that. Yeah, I did that till it was like 35. Right? Yeah, I'm gonna... I think I'm ready for kids now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, there for six months doing my makeup. I'm like, God, this is exhausting, right? Like, what am I actually doing on planet earth? Like, I did the, you know, new newspaper articles. I got all the awards. I did all the things that I was told on paper in the construct of the Matrix, but here I am lost in the world. I go to this interview, I doubt this interview, but I go to this dinner. I'm at the Nobuah body, I'm hard rock cafe. And I meet this guy. And he's like, what are you doing here? And I'm like, I don't really know. And he's like, Lauren, like, get out of this town. And I'm like, you're right. It's about six months. Like, I'm getting exhausted. Now I'm getting tired. First story is when I was there, I had no money. I had $60 to my name, Honda Civic, sold my Jador perfume to Macy's, like literally negotiated with a manager. I had 60 bucks. First night I was there. I made $10,000 with a high roller. I didn't even know he was a high roller. So I was budgeting my money. So that interview happened when I was almost out of money. Okay. So I'm like, I'm going to have to get a real job. Like, there has to be something here. So Sean

5:14was like, do you know what billboards are? And I'm like, you mean like billboards on the side of the freeway? And he's like, yeah, he's like, you would be amazing at billboard sales. And I'm like, I've been selling lemonade since I was like four years old. I've always been hustling. So I'm like, I could do it. So he's like, but here's the thing is that you can't stay in Vegas. He's like, this market's going to tap you out. You got to go back to LA. So I'm like, LA, like a group in Orange County. I was trying to like get away from this destruction and just this fake living. Like, I wanted authenticity. But I was like, let's give it a shot in my husband's in the studio and my kids. But he could tell the story. And I walked in and literally like white spandex and my blonde hair, right? I lashes. I'm like corporate guys. I got this, right? Right? So I walk in. It's like, they say like into like pretty woman. And I didn't give a shit if I got the job right. I didn't get the job interview with four people to give me a shot. Okay. So fast forward to become the number one salesperson out of 40 people like mad men in the think tank. I'm like, Jerry McGuire closing deals on my phone. Like, let's do the deal. They everybody hates me. I'm an HR nightmare, right? Leo,

6:16like I'm just like, bring the energy. So I get a call on a Sunday. And it's from a coworker. And she's like, Hey, really, really unfortunate news. And I was like, what's going on? And she goes Brad, which I was very close with. He's an ex-pro tennis player, me soccer, discipline, hardcore. He lost his wife tragically. And now his boys were four and six years old. So in that night, that night, I had this energetic, I can't describe it, God universe, whatever that came over me. And it was you are going to be the mother of these kids. And I'm like, there's absolutely no way. I'm 21 years old, just left Vegas living in a hand beach. And I was like, I woke up. And I was like, like, this cannot be my sole purpose. Fast forward, Brad and I fall into this friendship. We didn't even make love friends for a year. I'm driving up to his house playing soccer, cooking meals, doing all the things. I ended up adopting his kids at 22 years old. I went for it. And it was like the chosen one. Like I was like, I got this. First time we're intimate and all these all the listeners,

7:18because I'm so authentic. I just preach. I don't give a shit. I tell the truth. Intimate. I find on I'm pregnant with my daughter. Okay, now I'm 23 emergency C section. Almost die. We both flatline. I'm in bed for three months, closing deals with Burberry, starting my media company with my husband. We we left corporate America. So I gave him the ultimate. I was like, wait, this is the, the the husband. No, are you married? No, yes, yes. So Brad. So wait, I went too fast on that. Yes. So Brad. So Brad, who lost his wife. Yes. We had this kindred friendship. Yes. And he was like lost. And I was like, let me help you. Let me help you. So ends up that we built this incredible friendship and we ended up getting married. Okay. So there I go adopting the kids at 22. And then you had a then we leave corporate America. And I was like, hey, he's been there for 10 years. I'm like, I can't do this life. We have to create our own destiny. We have to start our own media company. He resigns. He was like three from the top out of our garage. We move back to Laguna Beach and we start. Then I'm pregnant with Peyton. And I'm like, okay, 23 kids building

8:22a media company. I now I'm going to be a mother to these boys. And I'm going to be, okay, I could do this. So long story short, I was like, I'd be like, I can't do it. But long story short, it was kind of like that moment of being like step into this Lauren. Like you got to just step into this and go for it. And that's where the healing started. That's where I was like, yo, the way my parents parented me that world doesn't exist anymore. You got to step into this. And I just took the freaking reins. Caitlin, like I was just like everything I owned every single thing. And I was so young, but I've always been like an old soul. Everyone says old soul, old soul all the time. So it was like, give it to me. Let's go. Yeah. Because you at 22 sounds much different from me. But that's that must have been like hard to become a parent at that age. But also it sounds like that was like it like you know, you follow your gut and your heart and your intuition. Sounds like it's all it's all a feeling. Like it's a residency. And I always teach people come back to that. Like we're living so external. And obviously like my friends were so upset. I got so much

9:27hate everybody because they're like you're marrying this man 16 years older than you and you're adopting these two boys. Like what are you doing? Right. And I just answer the call. Yeah. I didn't care. And so that's like when you go back to the soul knowingness, there was something there where it was like, this is your path. Yeah. And then you got pregnant again at 25 23 23 23 up for your fourth, third. And then I had one another one by 25 by 25. Okay. So at this point, you're raising four children did becoming a biological mom after already parenting to adopted children change the way you understood motherhood. Or I am going to like eradicate this whole energetic vibration of labeling. And I don't believe in the labeling. I believe it creates separation and and dysfunction in families. And so I always told the boys like you have two mothers, you have an earthly mother and you have a heavenly mother. And we are one tribe. So I was never you're my stepkizies are biological. I always wanted them to feel the love and radiancy of our family. And I'm going to tell you right

10:29now for everybody listening, it changed our family dynamic. Yeah. Because if we would have created separation, there would have been jealousy and amosity, hostility, all of that. Yeah. So I'm I I like just I stand up for human. So wasn't these boys fault that this happened in their life. So why would I be so selfish? You know, how old were they again? They were four and six. And how old the 25 and 22. Oh, I gosh. Is that nuts? And they're my best friends in the whole world. They're just we're just all one big tribe. Love. That's so wonderful. That's why this movement is everything to me. It was literally my son that was like mom, you can't keep this for our family. Like you have to share this with the world, please. Oh, that's my your son. Yeah. My oldest one. But you've described yourself as a cycle breaker. Yeah. So I know you were just saying like you had dysfunction in the family. There's a lot going on. What did you know you wanted to do differently than what was done in your own family system? The belief that happiness is actually possible within a family unit. And that was my thing is I I I'm in this is what I teach is master

11:32thyself first before you master life. And so many of us are living in dysfunction because we haven't done our own shit. Yeah. And we don't recognize that then we have kids and we don't realize we're all triggered and we're all this and we're yelling and we're screaming. We're like, Oh, inner child. We're actually wounded. Yeah. And so for me, it was my number one priority to create a harmonistic household. How do you do that, though? Because I even this morning, I actually I've gone through like my own shit. Obviously, as I'll do. And I've worked through so much. And even this morning, I have not cried the way I cried this morning. And I but I was so okay with it because that's the one of the most healing things you could ever do. And I knew I needed to get out. I was like, I haven't cried this hard in a moment. And it was so funny because it's over. I'm not going to get into it. But it's something that's on paper so silly. But I could recognize that it was a inner core wound from my childhood that this is how I would been raised and then proof kept validating my insecurities. And then something

12:35like poke to that not even poke to this open wound, but like dug a hole in it. And now I can recognize where it all stems from. But then I'm like, okay, but what's the next step of like not even letting that affect me the way that it does? Right. So how are you creating this system like from a child now to God, I'm getting ahead of myself. No, no, I got you on that. So so I first of all, I want to say is it starts it starts with awareness. Yeah. Having radical awareness to go, hey, like I need to own that. What is lacking within me so that I could show up differently in my life. And so many of us were walking through life, robotically going through the motions. So when we move back to intention, we're intentionally vibrating out of frequency. That's attracting the reality that we want to create is this right in my beingness. So for you to release that, that's one of the most powerful things because you're first becoming aware. I'm so I'm too aware. I'm like, got Caitlin get over it. We know what this is. We know where it stems from like we worked on this forever. But what

13:37what is it within you where you feel that you need to fulfill that? There's something on a deeper level. So is it coming home to self love? Is it coming home to something within you? And I was just on another podcast and she was like, how are you like how do you master this? And I said, honestly, I was living so external. I didn't have a relationship with myself. It was how I looked. It's what I did. That created the results and success in myself. Yeah. So once I came home to looking myself in the mirror and going, shit, hi, Lauren, taking off the mask and being like, well, you are a perfectionist. You don't believe in your like, I had to do all that work. I have a daughter. She's in the studio. If I didn't do that, then I would perpetuate that cycle. So you talk about legacy shifter. I'm the legacy shifter of this like, I have shifted the trajectory for my family because I own my shit as a mother. Right. And that's what I'm empowering all these women to do before you have children to eliminate the chaos. Yeah. To eliminate all that. Just look at your shit. Yeah. You know, yeah,

14:40that I do know. I had to do it this morning. Do you think people can become so determined not to parent like their parents that they accidentally overcorrect in the opposite direction? Well, this is all fear based. So black limitations care city fear, right? So you're coming in all helicopter micro managing. Now we have a problem because you're not allowing your child to step into their own greatness because you have all these fears. Yeah. So that's the thing is that a lot of the people that I deal with, I mean, I've been on social for what 16 months, 16, 17 months is over 350 million views. I mean, that's organically. And the reason is because my message is coming from authentic truth. I'm not a doctor. I'm not a psychologist. I'm a real mother that cracked the code. So the thing is is that I always say you first, then you parent, then you have kids. You don't take your care of your kids without taking care of yourself. You can't pour from that cup. And this is what happens. Is people come in? They have kids. They think it's going to medicate whatever is going on within them. And they don't realize that it's actually them first. Yes. Yeah. Because how do you know when

15:44you're parenting from like the child in front of you versus parenting from your own childhood wounds? Do you know what I mean? Like I feel like a lot of times I would think, oh gosh, it's kind of like my first part of the question where I I love my mom to death. And I would do a lot of things differently, but then am I overcorrecting? Am I trying to just parent my inner child instead of the child that's in front of me? Right. So you take what worked. Always remember that you take what worked. If it's 2% of a conversation, you're like, hey, I really love what she said that. But I'm not taking the 98, right? Take what worked. Use that and elevate your your own unique identity. Yeah. You have your own vision for your family. And this is what's happening is people are trying to parent from the position of how their parents raise them. That world doesn't exist. Do you know that we're in an all-time crisis of raising humans? Right? One in five kids are committing suicide. Mental illness is at a whole time high. Abedience. That's why I'm doing this work in the world because people have to recognize. It's not the same. We used to go on the street and rollerblade.

16:44Right? We didn't have all the shit. No, I want to think about it. I know, can we go back? I remember, oh my god, this is the best story when my daughter was young. They're both like indigo children. They're freaking amazing. My best friends in the whole world. And I remember she was little. She's like three years old and she's following me around. She's like, I want to go back in your belly. I go me too. It's scary. I was like, I want to go back in, Mom, please. She's crying. And I was like, I know, I know I get it. So cute in there. Oh my god. She's like, why is the world truly? It's a scary. I know. But you're right. It's things change and you have to change with the time. But it's not so cool. Yeah. That's where the goal is. But step into that. Right. Step into that. And I think that's that fear. So we've been brainwashed to be in fear. Having children, I said obviously as a challenging thing, but it gives us this alignment to get back into our power. Your home is your springboard for your entire life. Messy home, messy mind. Don't allow your kids to leave their house

17:45without mastering their space. Yeah. I don't care if they get an A. Do you know what I mean? Like, let's get to the basics. I we are going to get there because I'm very much like you where I align myself. I like to go off energy. Yeah. Like to like go back to soul and like figure out where I'm supposed to be what I'm supposed to be doing. And I feel like this I when I saw a message for having you on my podcast. I went and I looked and I was like, I loved everything you had to say. Like it's so mean so much to me. And I don't even have kids. And I was like, I need to have our open guest of the audience. It's the radiancy that I bring because like I said, there's people that are fake. And then there's people that speak truth. Right. I'm speaking from the battle of my own self. Right. I'm speaking from the battle of childhood trauma. They did the best they could. And I'm grateful. Thank you so much for forgiving me this life. But now I have an opportunity to take myself into another dimension. So when I'm talking, I'm talking from a place of, no, I've done this shit. And you can too. Yeah. Right? You're still in your life. No. No. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's it's more of

18:49listening to rapping, classical music. So the vibrations off in my number one obligation is to protect the field in which I raise my children. I respect that. I won't I won't I won't settle. I respect that. You're you're at this point 25. You're figuring it all out. You have four kids. You're also building a massive company, which is where your whole philosophy gets really interesting to me because you realized businesses have systems for literally everything. But families basically get handed a baby and told like go figure it out. Look at look at I have chills as you say it because it's like yes. So you were running a high growth company while raising four children. What did it teach you? And then how did you get into like getting the family to be the most important organization on earth and running almost like a bit. Wait. Well, why am I here? You just need to present this to the world. That's so good. That's so good. The most. The organization. That's the thing is systems create routines routines create what results results create what success.

19:50But we're leaving it to chance. So I have CEOs I have billionaires that come to me. They have these amazing companies, but they don't want to go home. What kind of life is this? Yeah. So for me, it was this aspect of going wow, I have this brain. I'm a visionary. I'm a CEO. I can run systems organizations people. I know how to do this. I got to bring that into my home. Happy life system is born. Now, happy life system is born from the foundation of kids go to school, math, science, logic, but I did that too, but I was lost. So happy life system is the foundation of self mastery. Right. Giving the children the living principles, the fundamentals, world readiness. So they have the path. That was in a dream when I was 25 years old, downloaded into me 200 pages of IP. I wrote the entire thing. And I was like, whoa, NFL NBA, all of these things. Caitlin, I am so deep that I have literally operating agreements in my home. Like Lauren was like, tell me about contracts. My kids

20:53have contracts. My daughter wanted a horse. We created a contract. It's a 50 fifth in alignment. Don't you ever buy your kids something without them working for it entitlement, narcissism, all the things contracts. People come into my memberships. There's tech agreements for phones, for video games for all of it, foundational principles, anchoring your home in pillars. Okay. So then how do you create that kind of structure without turning family life into another job for mom to manage? So the thing is, is we are raising capable world ready kids. You align the structure with the guard girls and let them create in it. So within within my family, and obviously I teach this to thousands around the world, is it's really about getting the organization of your home in check. Now you create your masterpiece from that. So I invented a language. This is one of my favorite things. It's called the happy life language. And what people don't realize is they're casting spells in their environment with the words you're using with their children. So first and foremost, you got to get your language right. That's part of my system.

21:54So instead of telling your kid, go do this for me. You would say, I'd appreciate your support. We're a team. We're all working together, just like a company would. So it's all at a higher vibration of love and positivity. My biggest thing is like optimistic outlook. I'm never the victim to anything. Life isn't happening to me. It's happening for me. So we're teaching the kids these living principles so they can elevate. Do you know that people have come into my world and within a week, they're like my kids are making their bed. They're doing this because they love it. Yeah. Sensible longing. They're building their confidence. But it's not just discipline. Yeah. It's how you're disciplining. Right. Go to your room or soap in the mouth. Right. What are you creating? Yeah. Disfunction or hey, let's talk together. I'm your life coach. I never say in parenting, I'm a parent. I'm your life coach. I'm here to guide you on the path of life so you could find your purpose and being service. Yeah. Right. Different minds that tell me why you showed up and made that choice. Can and how at what age can they start actually like early in my kids were two years old really when they had their system like it's a board. It's their system. I don't use

22:58chores. I use opportunities chores 19 1746 mundane but necessary task we're casting a spell. Everything's an opportunity for you to advance yourself in life. Yeah. So NLP like everything I do is all about how can we stay at peak? Yeah. Well, because you've spent 15 years studying not only parenting and child development but psychology neuroscience behavioral science elite athletes entrepreneurs even military leaders like all of it. I feel like all those people you know completely different high performing people but they all probably have something in common. Right. And it's all it's systematic like there's no way that you can run your life without foundational habits routines and a rhythm. Yeah. That's what creates your culture and identity. So what are the standards that you're setting every single day for your family? Right. My wheels are just I'm like yes. I want to bounce around all these notes so that because I'm like I everything you're saying I have a

23:58question for like we're gonna park that we're gonna sidebar because I'm like there's so much out there these days we're consuming so much online in videos like nobody's sitting down to watch a classic movie anywhere we're all just scrolling and taking in information that that's a good thing. And that's like the number one thing is that it's it's information overload and I don't know how deep you are and a lot of your listeners but when I really stepped into consciousness I don't know if you know Parmahansa Yogananda. Yogananda is a guru. He came to the West. Incredible. If you if you get a chance read some of his stuff but he was saying that you're only supposed to consume three pages of reading a book. This is even when social media or all that's a three pages a day that's what your brain can handle to actually take the knowledge and utilize the knowledge with intentionality. So think about us like we're consuming all of this stuff but it's like this like it's a smorgasbord it's like spaghetti and that's why I say like I am not a parenting don't put me in the box of parenting right like I am not that person I'm talking about developing human beings like to live a happy meaningful life. Yeah. Okay could we talk about this?

25:07Somebody hold my hand. The fact that the 90s are now considered retro. Because personally I don't know that I was ready for that information but if we're gonna call it retro at least the fashion coming back is good. I love the 90s. Macy's is leaning into this retro revival trend for fall and it's basically all of those classic pieces we know but updated so it doesn't feel like you're just wearing like a 90s costume. So think oversized rugby shirts a whole of it. Plad mixed with stripes, relaxed denim, varsity jackets and I am very into the little slim shoulder bags that are coming back. It just all has that nostalgic feel but the fits in the styling make it feel current. So it's similar without feeling dated which is exactly how I want to bring a trend back into my closet and this is what I love about trends coming back around. Okay you don't have to wear them exactly how you did the first time. So maybe you grab a great pair of relaxed Levi's, add a plaid piece from Tommy Hilfiger, find a coach bag that gives you out but just enough of that throwback feel. Tuck it in a certain way, add different jewelry. Macy's has all of it

26:07in one place so you don't have to hunt through 10 different tabs just trying to put a look together. Now apparently the 90s are retro now. I'm gonna accept it so we might as well dress accordingly. Shop the retro revival trend for fall, in store or online only at macy's.com. Let's quickly talk about how much mental energy we spend on our periods. Like do I have a tampon with me? Is it gonna leak? Am I wearing the right underwear? And then you're trying to sleep but you're also doing like a little mental calculation of whether you trust your situation like for all these years it's just a lot. This is why I love Knicks. Okay their leak proof underwear looks, feels and washes like normal underwear but they have different absorbancies for your lightest to heaviest days. Get a load of this. Some styles absorb up to six super tampons worth which is incredible and they just sent me their new super leak proof mini dream boxer which is so cute. It's got this like shorter little boxer length, fun prints, lace detailing so it doesn't feel like you're just sacrificing cute for practical and this one absorbs up to eight super tampons worth. I love it. I

27:11love that Knicks is making period underwear that you can actually feel good in because sometimes you just want to put on something comfortable, go to bed and not have your period be the main event of your entire night. That has happened to me way too many times guys. So head to Knicks.com and you'll see why I love Knicks and don't forget to use Codevine 15 for 15% off your order, get leak proof undies, amazing bras and don't forget to check out the new mini dream boxer. That's kni x.com code vine 15 next.com Because what do you think parents are overthinking right now? Parents don't know themselves. That's the issue. Yeah, they're overthinking parenting somebody instead of like listening to it. So it's like, I mean, I have so many moms. I won't I'll share them all with you but this is so good because it's like all these women that are coming into my field. They're going through major crisis in their own life health issues, all of this stuff and they're like, shit.

28:12Like I didn't even realize I'm passing this on to my kids. So when you step into parenting, you have to think of yourself as going, yes, this is the greatest joy. I can do this, but you're also leading a human. So imagine I'm 25 years old on four people right every single day. I'm going crazy. Well, and all kids are different. So you need to. Yes. Is it different structures for different kids? No. So it's one system, but they all vibrate within the system. And that's the thing is it's like a company. Right. You can't have the guy. The creative director has to be lined up with me. So, you know, with the vision of the graphic designer, but everyone has their own little, you know, beautiful thing, but we're all cohesively coming together. So let me start, like at the very beginning, if you have, I think a lot of moms out here probably have like a six month or they're like, well, what do I do now? Right. So if you have a baby under one, what are you doing now that actually matters five to 10 years? The most important thing that you can do at that age is how you speak to them. Language of empowerment, affirmative prayer, I am, yes, you can. Yes, you can. Yes, you can do that. Yes, you can. You're pouring into them zero to seven

29:16to imprint the subconscious, the subconscious mind. So what you're doing is you're wiring their programming. Why are we so because self-love, we were never taught self-love, right? We were never taught, Lauren, you're powerful and beautiful, just the way you are. Right? So you're pouring into them at that age, you know, frontal lobe cortex is not even developed until the age of 25 years old. Yeah. So think about that. Like when they're that little, if you can get to them and they start believing in themselves, they are Superman. That's so true. I'm still wiring myself at 40 years old. Oh, my God. But can you spoil a spoil a baby by like, too much, like holding them too much, responding every time they cry like the cry it out theory. Is that too? Like is that not something you vibe with? So I'm like the I'm like the love, but I'm the warrior. So like my kids, it's actually funny on the boss. It's the video went viral, but I was like, I put my kids down the slide at six months. Okay, it was a baby slide. It was a baby slide. Okay. All this hate in the comments fine. But my point is is that they fall. I don't. Yeah, and right. The only way to raise a

30:24resilient child that has character is they have to go through the process of falling. They have to see what failure is. If we overcautil if we overdo gentle parenting. So you're messy even gentle parent. Oh, hell no, girl. Oh, hell no. That's why we have the workforce, the way the workforce is. I don't like it. Call my mom. I'm like you are 27. Right. We're not calling mom today. Yeah. Yeah. And I believe this gentle parenting is what creates narcissists. Really? Oh, yeah, because my mom did everything for me. So now I'm attracting this woman. Do everything for me. So what actually builds security and confidence during this time and not, I guess, narcissism. Like what are you doing that's building the confidence in that first zero to seven? Is it all just back off? You got a system. You stabilize the system. You've integrated what the living principles are. I have 150 skills and habits, right? So my kids when they were little body, mind, courage, kindness and home. Those are all my pillars. They're working on mastering those

31:27habits. Ground the foundation. Let them fly. Okay. Choices and consequences. They fall. They make a bad choice. We pull them back on path. You're out of alignment. How would you like to get back into alignment and contributing to this home? You don't move forward. But I'm not managing their behavior. I'm shaping greatness. So if I have to manage their behavior, how many bottles of wine do I have to drink if I have to do that with four people? Like seriously. Like you love wine. But I'm like sitting here going like there's no possible way that I could, I believe, like you have to be able to live your life as a mother or father alongside raising your kids. You don't give up your life and just sit in the kitchen and make polypies and say, oh, well, whatever. No, I'm going to do me too. But I got to get my home in lock. So like when the kids are younger, when you stabilize, you know, these habits, the value system, all of this, watch them step in. I have video documentary from people all over the world. They're like, I cannot believe it.

32:32I was overdoing helicopter. All of that. And that's that's literally what's hindering the child from alleviating all that you have to do from them for them. It's like you reclaim your power, reclaim your peace by being in a proactive state versus a reactive state. Right. So what do you, do you obviously believe in discipline then? Yeah. So what would be an example? Like do you believe in timeout? Do you believe like what is your, what is your, okay? So lower, lower vibrational field is obviously separation. When we discipline separation, my biggest thing on discipline is positive discipline with the growth mindset. I'm always looking at developing my human, like my kids as, as how would you lead this choice if I wasn't around? Right. So a 20 year old wouldn't go sit in timeout. Timeout. So when they're little, you know, processing your emotions, you're allowed to do that. You're allowed to feel what you feel and know what you know. But then I have a process for them moving forward. So for example, I have one of my

33:35pillars is the peacetime pillar, the mastery of harmony. I have an entire toolbox for my kids to process their emotions. They freak out. They cry. That's great. Now we're going to process what you just did when they were two and three years old. They draw a picture. I'm angry because of this. I'm like, that's great. Now how are you going to contribute to the family unit because of what you did? It was a negative choice. I always put them into work. Whether that's moving their body, I remember we live in Kauai. They had a, they had a breakup, you know, a dispute or whatever. They went out and they ran 10 sprints by the time the sprints were done. They didn't remember what they did. They were playing. Yeah. Right? Process, release, let go. But I'm always putting them into action. I'm never isolating. I'm never threatening. It's all fear based love with condition, conditional love. So like the idea of spanking, I have a book on this. There's no possible way as apparent as a human being. We all have hearts. The hearts can feel more than the brain, their nervous system. There's no possible way when you go and beat your child that you're going,

34:37I'm doing the right thing. You know you're going to bed feeling like, did you see that clip of Maddie Pruitt from the Bachelor World and her husband talking about how the Bible says it's okay to spank your children? This is, I had to go tell me, no, I didn't see it, but tell me. Oh, I just, I just, I just feel, I just saw it go around everyone, everyone. It actually says, spear the rod of the child. Okay, what is that scripture? So spear the rod of child is bring discipline forward and standing your power, but also align them to the value system. And they took it like quite literally like, I have people that literally started with me two weeks ago, were beating their kids. She just wrote me a testimony. All she said, I've never in my life, I never wanted to do that. My kids now listen to me with all of your methods. So the spanking, you are literally wiring your brain, wiring your child's brain to fear you. Yeah. You're using force, adults, 30 years old spanking a three year old. You're using force to inflict some sort of disciplinary action on your child. That child's brain automatically turns off

35:40their nervous system, fight or flight. That's what you're wiring. I don't care. That's what you're wiring. Like you have to think about that. Like you're using force. So I would use the animal kingdom with my kids. And I would show them, look at what mom, mom of air does to the baby because when they're out of alignment, she gets them into alignment. I go, that's what we're here to do, but with love. Like that's to me, it's just, it's nuts because it's one of those things where you have to think about it. You're using, you're inflicting something on your child in order to get them to listen to you. So what is your, is it more talking then talking through? I talk and then I move them into action. So you know, I use a way, I use a way of, um, and within my system. So my system is entirely gamified. I'm like a joy freak. I literally am the biggest prankster you'll ever meet. I prank my husband, prank my kids. I just, I'm just in the joy state all the time. And so I wanted to create a gamified system because people learn three times faster in the play state. So my entire system is gamified. So basically when you're out of balance, you lose points and then you can level back up

36:44by choosing the right action. So I teach this whole methodology because it's like, you know, in real life, life is a game. Yeah. This is all a game. Yeah. How well are you playing the game? I'm at a balance the other day. I was in the airport and the lady came to me and goes, you're not in first class. I'm like, I looked at my husband. I was like the dragon. I was like, what? And he's like mom, mom, mom, my kids are like, mom, mom, mom, I'm like, I'm not in first class. And I like freak out. And I like go into this like, you know, whatever. I'm Brad's like, no, no, I did first class. So I literally had to own that. And I was like, whoa, I just want to say I'm really sorry that like I showed up that way. And my son was like, mom, thanks for owning that. I'm being the example in the moment. But I'm teaching him how to process when we show up and make mistakes. Yeah. And that's my role. Like as a leader and a guide of another human, they're not going to have me one day. Right. So so for us, it's really about growth mindset through challenges that create the opportunities for them to develop fully loaded girl. But I did freak out on the first class.

37:51I would do. I got first class. Okay. You got I'm like, I might not be a relatable thing to say. I definitely forgot. What did you say? Boundary setting with toddlers. When should that start? A.S.A. I can go ahead. Let me ask this first because I feel like I brushed over earlier. The cry it out method with putting kids to sleep. Do you believe in that? So my kids, okay, so here's the thing is children are very manipulative, right? So you have to think about it this way. This is how I did. This is how I dealt with it. Like within my beingness is I was like, okay, if they're fed, if they're loved, if they're nurtured, they have to be able to self-regulate themselves. Right. And that's when I knew. But when they overstep to a point where I knew they were manipulating me, I would let them cry it cried out. And that's when they got to like a certain age. But when there are babies, like the greatest thing was me loving on them and all of that. But I knew from my place of service, I gave them everything they needed to suffice. Okay. So, so and again, I'm very, I'm very homeopathic. My kids have never been

38:54vaccinated. They've never seen a doctor. I'm their own doctor. They've never been to a doctor their whole life. We explain. So I studied all homeopathic, all herbal doctor, Sabi. I've researched everything. When I became mom, I was like, they're never going to be on antibiotics. My microbiome, my life, I was just fed vaccines, heavy metal detoxes. Like, why is my gut this at 30 years old? So I went into a rabbit hole of learning about all the remedies, all the things. And I literally, I healed them. I'm their doctor. They've never ever been anywhere. So when I say own it, like I owned it, I was like that from how I was raised peptobizmo and all that shit. That's that I'm not going to be doing that. And so I learned really about the earth, utilizing the earth, utilizing herbs, you know, my kids, when they would cry, I would put, you know, lavender on their feet, give them Belodone, which was a homeopathic remedies, Nux bomba cuff, or stomach ache, like, I became this wealth of wisdom for others because I did it. Like I owned it. Right. And to say my

39:56kids have never been to a doctor and they're almost 16 and 14. Yeah, that's pretty freaking amazing. That's crazy. They've never. So what if they have strep throat? Well, strep throat is strep to caucus strep throat is strep to caught really bacteria and viruses. So we need a Reagan oil. All the listeners ready? Strep throat is just bacteria living in the throat. So really we have viruses and we have bacteria. And basically it's over. What has it done? It's overpopulated within your body. A Reagan oil. Never in your life. Do not always have a Reagan oil. In a tincture. My mom is a big believer of a tincture. Colloidal silver strep throat. Nathan, my son had strep throat when he was, you know, eight or nine when I adopted him. And I was like, I can't do this. Like, I don't vibrationally think I can keep giving him this bubble gum, you know, thing. And I started to research the herbs. And I was like, okay, I boil an onion. I take cilantro. I take garlic and I take a Reagan oil and I put it in a pot. Caitlin, I healed him literally. I'd make him take three shots

40:59a day. He never went to the doctor again. My husband was like, I don't know what she is, but she did. Like, it was like, I was like, how are you feeling? Like, it was kind of like, I was like a lab, like a scientist. And I was like, Nathan, he's like, mom, it's gone. Never again. Did he have it? Never again. He had it. I was struck throughout time after time after time. Me too. And they take the tonsils out. Oh my god. So what do you think vaccines are? Oh my god, it's all junk. Like, they're just putting stuff. It's all junk. It's all junk. The thing is, is the immune system God created this body by design. So when we pollute, don't get me started on the ADD, ADD, all right. It's all an agenda. So we have to come back home to, okay, with a vaccine, what am I preventing myself from? And my biggest thing was like, if I damaged my child, I couldn't live with that. Like, I probably wouldn't be here. And I could never live with myself. If something happened to my kid, like, I've heard horror stories of these mothers to say,

42:02well, do you know, there's things. And I did a lot of studying Western price. I studied doctor Marcola. I studied the indigenous tribes. And I was, they don't vaccinate. What do you think about Botox? Oh, that's such a hard one for me. Okay, I'm into exosomes now. What's that? What? I don't know. Oh my god. Okay. So the Botox, I can't, I can't go straight to the brain. So I haven't touched one thing. You've never got my face. No, nothing. And I, I just, I feel like I can elevate that in some capacity. And, you know, what it's doing to women is, you know, obviously it's going straight to the brain. It's heavy metals and all of that. And I found solutions to better ways. Like, what is that? Okay. So basically, I was doing PRP. Yeah. And they put my eye like she, because I, you know, they take your plasma out. And then they do the whole thing. And she did a candela here. I mean, you probably can't tell. It's, it's fading. Yeah. But I was like, why is it puffy? And, and I started to like understand what PRP is. PRP is taking the plasma, right? But we are getting older. So I'm taking old cells. And I'm taking

43:07the plasma out of my 40 year old cells. And I'm putting it in a body. Okay, that sounds great. Then I went into stem cells. And I'm like, okay, let's look at stem cells. Never did it. But I understood that stem cells can actually perpetuate cancer in your body. If it's the wrong stem cells. Oh, yeah, I went down the rabbit hole. Then I was on a live event with the number one doctor out of Wisconsin on exosomes. Exosomes come from, come from the placenta. Oh, so it's baby, baby cells can heal literally every disease. So I'm like, put that in my face. Yeah. Yeah. So micro needling with exosomes in my face. So I'm basically taking baby cells. And I'm putting it in my face. I'm doing the IV to $7,000. Oh, God. I know. But I'm going to get you all get you on the link. We got this. That's crazy. Right. So Botox. I mean, I mean, you know what I think. Yeah. Okay. Now I do. I could go out. I'm like, I went off topic because I want to get back to toddlers. But I did. I'm glad we went on that little thing to do there. If a toddler can't actually regulate their emotions yet, what is teaching emotional regulation realistically look like at two or three

44:09years old? Calm your nervous system before you show up with your kids. So I talk about my happy, the happy reset method, which is we come back home. So the way you show up is impacting their nervous system. So take a breath. Breathe into it. It's not stop crying. Don't cry. Whatever. Overtalking. No, let them feel. Give them an avenue to process. So when my kids were little, they had a rock. I'd give them a rock. This is one of my skills. I would give them a rock. And I'd say, blow all that stuff into the rock. And I became animated. And I was like, blow it. What is it? Dragon breath. And I would give them a tool. Like I would give them something that they could feel that they knew, hey, if I'm a baby or toddler and I have bad emotions, I know to go to my rock. So I started bringing all these little modalities into their life. And they knew that they could release through that. So for a toddler, check your nervous system first. Sit down, hold space, give them an outlet to be able to process and then celebrate them for moving forward. So I talk about the celebratory state. Celebratory state is literally when you start to celebrate yourself and your children.

45:10There's literally a dopamine hit and a reward loop that happens in your life. We don't celebrate ourselves. So in my system, I call it celebration points because I want to be celebrated all the time. So for a toddler, you would say, hey, I want to celebrate you for how you own that. Yeah. That was amazing. Boom. Reinforcement, Maslow's Law, positive reinforcement. So reaffirm that they move through the experience. This is how you build emotional intelligence. How do you celebrate a child without rewarding with a gift or a treat or a food or a love with condition? Yeah. So when you start saying conditional love, you got a major problem. Yeah. Because now it's an expectation. And when it turns into an expectation, then you've lost all your power as a parent. I know because bribing would be such an easy thing to do. Oh my god, hey, I'll get you the candy. Yeah. Please stop. Yeah. No. Think about that. Then they get older. And then they're like, hi, I'm 10. I want the golden goose shoots. Yeah. I want the this. I'm not doing it. So now you have lost all your power. So you don't want to bribe. But what you can do is create a contract. So you're like, hey, this is a 50 50 blind man. I'm going to show up for you.

46:12You're going to show up for me. We're going to build harmony in a teamwork. And when you reach X amount, that's your goal. Then you could have the thing. Yeah. Just a different avenue. Right. But making sure that you hold your power. If you get out of alignment, you're screwed. Let's say your child wants that thing. And you're like, no, right? No, you can't have that thing. Or they want that thing. And you reframe it with a way of saying, hey, this is not something we're going to do right now. But you have two choices to move forward. What choice was you want? You're still giving them autonomy, right? You're still allowing them to make the choice. But you're also giving them the foundation and the guardrails for them to know that you're not messing around. You don't just give a toddler what you want. So this is the iPad thing. Yeah. Yeah. The iPad is becoming the nanny. And what people don't realize is the iPad is going to cause you major problems. Well, I can guess why, but could you tell me why? First of all, the, I mean, this is, I can get into the studies and the research and all of the things. But the iPad is literally robbing our children

47:16from their own consciousness, the dopamine hit in blue light. We are literally frying their dopamine receptors. Yeah. So the issue is, is that they are on so much dopamine from these hits constantly. They can't hear you. They can't listen to you. You take away the game. They freak out, right? Yeah. So when you actually look at this, what the iPad is doing is it's controlling and manipulating who they are. Their consciousness 24, seven. So now you're asking them to come back into alignment from something that doesn't give them the dopamine hit. Is that even television too or just iPad? Well, television, again, positive vortex, everything you do. Music in my house plays on speakers all day, all positive music, high frequency music, every single piece of content. My kids watch impacts their life. Yeah. Positively. If your child's on YouTube, you better watch what they're, what they're watching. Because if they're learning from a mentor that's out of alignment with your value system, you're going to have a challenge. Right. So every single thing that you do has to come from intention. So when we talk about toddlers, toddlers are feeling out the world. So get out of

48:19the reactive state, sit with them and be like, talk to me. Where are you at? What do you want? Okay, let's use this. Give them the idea that they can make the choice, but also give them the guidance. And so toddlers, I mean, that was one of the greatest stages of my life. I remember my son, I mean, he's in the studio. He was one of those kids that was like, I'm out of here, you know, like he would like, if he didn't get his way, he's like, I'm out of here and he'd turn around and, you know, leave. And I would just be like, that's okay. Yeah. Like if you're out of here, that's okay. You know, you know what I mean? Like I would never try to like go and be like, you're out of here. Don't leave. You know what I'm just like, you're out of here. That's great. We're just going to stay here until you come back. It's all good. Yeah. There was times when they would fight, like, it's would fight. I would cancel everything. Three hours. They would have knockout battles. And what happened through that emotional intelligence, learning how to build relationships, the foundation of my home is you are not allowed to move forward unless you create harmony. I would cancel meetings, Caitlin. I would cancel all these things because I'm like, I'm developing these kids. And they have

49:21to learn how to build relationships with their siblings. If I come in and I'm the police officer, they don't learn that characteristic for how to build relationships in their life. Oh, that's so hard not to do though as a parent. I feel like it's absolutely okay. Apparently, apparently, we've reached the point where the 90s are officially being called retro, which does feel a little personal, but I'm going to allow it. I'm going to allow it this time because have you seen what's coming back? I am obsessed with 90s fashion. Macy's is calling one of their biggest fall trends, retro revival. And honestly, this is the kind of nostalgia I can get behind because we are talking oversized rugby shirts, which I already love, and relax denim, which I'm very into right now. Plad. I've never gotten rid of it. Little shoulder bags. All of those pieces that immediately give you that 90s feeling, but styled in a way that actually feels current. And it got me thinking about how funny fashion is because everything eventually finds this way back to us. I know you know, the difference is when a trend comes around the second time, you get to wear it better. Like,

50:22let's talk about jeans for a second. How many times have we collectively changed our mind about what jeans we're supposed to be wearing? Skinny jeans were everything, and then suddenly, skinny jeans were embarrassing. We need straight leg jeans, then baggy jeans. Now we've got relaxed, voluminous denim everywhere. And at this point of convinced, you should never get rid of a pair of jeans you love because apparently their time will come again. And that's what I like about Macy's retro revival trend. It's not about recreating an exact outfit from 1997. They've curated pieces that give you that nostalgia, but the cuts, the proportions, the styling, all of it's been updated. So you have oversized shirts, classic plaid, mixed with stripes, bar city jackets, relaxed denim, asymmetrical tops, uh-huh. And the return of the little shoulder bag, which, yes, that's the comeback I fully support. So there's something about that little bag just tucked right under your arm. It immediately gives me that 90s fashion feel. And now they're back, but they feel a little more polished. So coach has their kiss lock bags right now that have that vintage detailing while still feeling really current. I also love the rug me shirt come back

51:25because it's one of those trends you can actually wear without feeling like you're trying too hard. I find them so cute. The newer versions are very oversized so you can throw one on with relaxed denim, sneakers, be done, add some big earrings. It's that preppy, sporty, slightly oversized look that somehow makes a really simple outfit feel style. And then we have plaid plaid obviously never completely going away in my opinion, especially in the fall. But I like that this time around, we're mixing it with stripes and we're playing with different proportions instead of wearing it exactly the way we did before. And that is where I think we have to draw the line with bring and trends back. Okay, I'm all for nostalgia. I'm not necessarily asking for every single thing we wore in the 90s to return as it was. There are outfits from that era that should probably stay safely tucked in a little photo album where they can't hurt us because fashion coming back doesn't mean we need to recreate the entire look. You know, take the good part, leave the rest. When you look at some of the actual style icons from that era, there are so much good stuff to seal. Can we talk about Princess Diana like in an oversized sweatshirt by short sneakers sunglasses a ball cap like we would wear that same outfit today. She is my style icon. The supermodels in relax denim in a simple

52:29top, still good. Basically anything share wore in clueless. Uh huh, come on. That's why I think the 90s work so well as inspiration right now. One of those outfits weren't actually that complicated. It's about having one really good piece and knowing how to wear it, you know, that's how we should approach Macy's retro revival trend. You don't need to suddenly dress head to toe 90s, just pick one thing. Even the colors are easy to work into what you already own. There are lots of those classic blues and reds that give you that Americana feeling without looking like you're wearing a costume. And I think that's really the difference between following a trend now versus when we were younger. I used to think if something was the trend, it meant you had to like go ahead first fully commit now. Absolutely not. You get to cherry pick. So take the relaxed jeans, leave the rest, take a little shoulder bag, grab the oversized shirt and mix plaids with something you've owned for five years. You figure out what actually feels like you and leave everything else for somebody else, okay? Macy's makes that really easy because they have all of these different takes on retro revival in one place. So when an old trend comes back, you get to make it work for you this time. So that's what Macy's retro revival trend is doing. It gives you all the nostalgia, but you get to decide which

53:34pieces deserve another moment in your closet and how you want to wear them. So yes, apparently the 90s are officially retro. We're accepting it. We're moving forward and thankfully the fashion is coming with us. So go check out the retro revival trend for fall and find the throwback pieces that you want to bring into 2026 only in store or online at macy's.com. I feel there's obviously so much emphasis now on validating children's feelings. No, I know. No, this is so bad. Okay, tell me why because where's the line between validating the emotion and the allowing? Validating emotion with strength. I honor you. I understand that you're crying today. You were crying today. Let that go release that. That is healing. But today is gold. Today is a magical day. We're going to move forward. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Get into your leadership. Okay, enough is enough. Yeah. Right? I understand, but we're not going to play the victim card here. Right? Like alignment. Your role, like, and I don't even say in parenting is in life, is like,

54:38how do you want to live your life showing up every day at peak takes effort. It's not a pill. It takes effort. Yeah. So for me, when I see, when I see this overcottling, overdoing, over all of that, it's because the parent is lacking something. So you do think they're giving feelings too much attention? Like, oh, heck yeah. Yeah. Like a feeling is a feeling, but guess what it comes and goes. Yeah. We have a central nervous system. Emotions and feelings are part of us, but it's how we handle our emotions and feelings that create positive or negative mental health. So I am one to say, this hurts. I journal. I write it out. I can move through it. I cry with my husband. And then I have the mindset around, okay, Lauren, go for a nature walk, get back up there. And let's go. Okay. So you still encourage moving through a moment. Oh, 100%. Yeah, because 100%. I cry all the time. Okay. So could we unintentionally teach a child that every uncomfortable emotion needs to be analyzed or fixed? No. Like, it's just like, it's like, okay, is this serious enough to

55:41give this energy? Because whatever you give energy to, what grows? So you're processing an emotion. And when you process an emotion, understand where the emotion is coming from. So am I emotional? Why? Because I want the house and I didn't get the house. Well, guess what? What's for you? Will be for you? Yeah. Yeah. Don't force it. Allow the universe to open. Something better is going to happen. Refrain your mindset. You know what I'm saying? That comes down to like, I mean, it takes work to get to the levels. But that's a beautiful way of thinking. But you do what I'm saying? Like, today, today, we're staying at the Fifth Avenue Hotel. Server comes in. She has coffee. And I go, I want to tip you because I'm just, that's just, I give the shirt off my back. I love that. I love vibrationally working with energy all day long. And she goes, no, no, don't give me a tip. And I said, why is your heart so blocked? Oh, and she goes, oh, no, just your kindness. And I said, yeah, but I'm, I'm trying to honor you when you're rejecting that. And she goes, well, I don't know. And she freaked out. And I was like, whoa, childhood trauma. Haven't been able to receive

56:43all of that. Next thing you know, she brings me my coffee up to my room. And I said, give me your Venmo right now. I'm giving you a tip. She opens up to me. And she goes, if you have been the greatest gift to my life, she goes for the last 15 days, I'm getting kicked out of my house. I've been biting my nails. I'm freaking out. I go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I go, this is a blessing. You're being shown something new. Your affirmation for today is I am open to receive the most incredible. She's like, Lauren, I go, you're biting your nail. Why? I go, you're now going to attract a place that has mold that has something because you're forcing. How do you get there in that moment? Because it's so hard. It's such a practice. It's a deliberate, but it starts with radical awareness. How do you want to show up? How are you showing up right now? Like, Adrianna, I love you. She sent me a DM and she was like, I've never in my life met someone loving answer. And I go, I'm here. She goes, I don't have anybody teaching me this. I go, you have this wisdom. But you have to understand if you're a 35 year old woman and you're biting your nails over

57:46finding an apartment, you're always going to stay in that frequency. Yeah. You're making money. You could go to hotel for three days. Yeah. Like, like, like, people are trapped in this brainwashing matrix. It's all by design. Yeah. Like, you're the 0.1%. I'm the 0.1%. I had to, on the edge of fear, take leaps without knowing that's the faith. Yeah. You got to live in that. Humans want tangible. They want security. They want to know the next move. Life isn't like that. It's that's so true. I know. Let's talk about consequences for a second because I feel like, well, I guess my question is what's the difference between a consequence that teaches something and a punishment that's really just meant to make a kid feel bad? Oof. So a consequence is about growth and development. So I would say, I think I told you this in the beginning, I can't remember because I just love this conversation so much. But the first thing that opened up my world in consciousness was the book of the secret by Rhonda Burns. Same. What? No, that literally that book and that, and I watched the DVD and it changed my whole life. There's living principles.

58:50It cracked me. I was so mind blown. Everything. I was like, wait, the law of cause and effect, what I put out, I get back. I am so screwed. I need to reverse my karma right now because when I was younger, it was all about me and I was ego, ego, ego, soccer, this, that. And I was like, whoa, law of attraction, yeah, law of abundance. So for me, consequences is about that law of cause and effects. Here's the choice and here's the consequence to your choice. You have two roads, negative or positive, but here's the law of cause and effect. So I teach living principle. So when it comes to a consequence, you made a choice that's not an alignment here. Here's the consequence to that. We're not going to do that thing or whatever. My kids have to earn points to go to get sushi, go to the movies, go to all of that. So for a consequence, I would say you need to earn 50 points to get that back in your life. What do you want to do? You want to work on your mind pillar, the mastery of your thinking, you want to do kindness for your neighbors. What do you want to do? I'm moving them into action. Now that fear paste, I mean, that's just coming from a

59:52wounded parent, but that fear paste, that fear based is all you're doing is creating a wedge deeper between you and that human being. I don't care. However, you slice and dice it. It's not there's no there's no way humans are built with with the fabric of wanting to connect. So when you're telling your kid, you're not good at that. You're not doing that right. You're not this. That becomes the program they run in their life. Right. It's just hard to find the middle ground between like, there's a balance, but there really is no middle ground. I believe that your your main priority and this is parenting, but in life is really always coming into every experiencing wanting the back, every experience, wanting the best for the outcome of that experience. So I am bold like I am cool, but when I say my kid's name, it's yes, mom. Oh, you are not allowed to say what to me like, and in my kids, my husband's here, I feel bad saying this, but I have to say this because they're like, Dad, we love you, but we're not scared of you. We're scared of mom.

1:00:55And is that a good thing? Scared in the way of my power. Like when I look you in the eyes, you just you know, it's like, don't you dare. There's they call me phase one phase two. So I'm the phase one I'm love. I'm positivity. I'm all the things that phase two is positivity with direction. Yeah. Like don't you ever disrespect someone in my home. Don't you ever like, I am that person because I'm so in alignment with like, what are the principles of life? So what would the consequence be for your children if they step out of alignment and show disrespect? Let's ask them. Yeah. Yeah. Let's ask you guys. What happens if you step out of alignment? What's your consequence? I don't think it's well the phase two. It's coffee soup. It's super. Yes. We call it our continued fire because as soon as you step open the boundary of like, okay, like I went out of line here, I went out of bounds, she will in it. We don't see it as like a bad thing. It's just honestly like we stepped out of line and just putting this back on track. She always just say like, get back on track. Yeah. How do you get back

1:01:59on track? What do you do as your consequence or like what? We actually used to call like what if we were to make a mistake or we were to do something that wasn't correct, right? We would get back on track by giving opportunities, working towards things like, you know, kindness, pillar issues, talking about or taking our dog for a walk, you know, kind of giving back. We did something that was out of line and then we'll come back. Yeah, but when they were younger, I would get notes from them literally and I have it like documented my entire life. That's why this is not bullshit. If you listen to my principles and you follow what I'm saying, it works. Yeah. Thank you for making me a better person. I really appreciate your guidance. Thank you for guiding me because I'm always coming from the best for you. Yeah. But I am bold. Like I will come in and I will be like, absolutely not. You want to bring that negative energy in here? I'll go for a run. You're not allowed in my home. Yeah. I love it. I just even just the way they were spotted, like those kids know itself. They're scripted. They're scripted. They're in a practice last night.

1:03:10Ah. Oh my God. I should have got extra mics up here. Do you guys can do a round too, please? Yes, you can interview them because for the parents, they can see living proof of what this is. They come on in my live events and these parents are just like how in the world they spot, they speak like better than 50 year old people. Yeah. Social, emotional intelligence, radical awareness, pouring into them. Right. You are empowered. Your voice matters. This is another thing. I know you have a question, but I want you to listen to this. When your children are born, when they are toddlers, let them know you are seen and heard. I might have my opinions, but I want your opinions as well. Once a child knows their voices matter, matter, they start to step in a whole different element of who they are. Yeah. We are stifled. This is the generation kids sit over there, right? Adults over here. What's up, buddy? Yeah. The buddy thing. Hey, buddy, I will literally like I will in restaurants be like, please don't talk to a kid like that. Really?

1:04:13It's so demoralizing. Hey, little buddy. Do you hate adults talk to kids like in a baby voice? Oh my God, please. Okay. Like, like, what do you want? Sammy, you're doing so good. I'm like, this kid is going to be a pussy. Right? Like what? What work can we say? You know, that's why the time is three. What does it mean? It's 13. See me. Give me your iPad. It's like, this becomes who he is. Yeah. Like, it becomes who they are. This is the mask they wear. You know, like, I saw this kid in the airport yesterday. Literally, you probably like 11 years old punching his mom. I was like, wow. I see his mom. Oh, yeah. I want it. I want it. Now I'm thinking, okay. So if you think about how this kid was acting at two, she never stepped into her power. Now he's 11. Oh gosh. That's crazy. It's terrifying. So what about, okay, let's talk about stopping doing everything for your kids. I want to get into independence because I just find this interesting. Yeah. Especially about your philosophy. Every parent wants to raise a capable adult. But when you think it's a philosophy, or do you think it's common sense? Common sense to you.

1:05:15Okay. Okay. It might not be common sense to everybody. But when you love somebody, your instinct is also to make their life easier. Yes. Right. So how do you know? Is it easier? Uh-huh. I think it's elevated. Elevated. Okay. Okay. I want to know what different responsibilities you think kids should have at different ages. Like, what are your age? Did your kids have responsibilities? They were like, I could literally show you on my phone. They were vacuuming the house when they were two years old. No, literally was so much fun. And did they have charts for like, what my system is an implemented system. So it's actually like a board that goes in your home. You have all the cards. You have all the operating agreements. Like a system for business is what I built for the home. So I literally had their boards. They would go to the boards. I never met one to their business. They always had a cross off every single skill and habit and responsibility. They completed. I set that to a micro goal. I believe in all, you know, goal setting. That's like my big thing. Yeah. James Clear talks about this in atomic habits. Right. So all those little

1:06:16micro opportunities are all habits that they're working towards to better their life and master their life. So when they're two years old, I have pictures of them bare naked, literally cooking their own eggs. That was one of their skills. I didn't cook their eggs. They did it. They put the fire on. It took them 30 minutes. I don't care. But I'm teaching them these skills. So I think that's a big thing is that, you know, by the time they were seven years old, this was already their lifestyle. When we travel to hotels, they're literally making, they're not allowed to leave the room without making the hotel bed, hanging up their towels, feng shuying the shoes. The system is a lifestyle. It's not something you leave at home. It's your way of being. Well, I always, my favorite thought is how you do anything is how you do everything. That's it. Yeah. Well, and that's like that. But remember, we said radical awareness and intentionality. Yeah. So when you're brushing your teeth, are you brushing your teeth? They're going like, I love my teeth. Right. Like, thank you so much. Like, how are you utilizing that skill and that habit to do better in your life? And again, that, that just kind of is validating what you said earlier about like, how do you treat yourself? Well,

1:07:18that's the issue. Yeah. Is that like, if you, you can't pour from an empty cup. So if I'm teaching my kids how to brush their teeth and I'm rushing, right, get out the door. Let's do this. How do you think they're going to be? They're going to be in chaos. Right. So if I'm brushing my teeth, I have my meditation music on. I'm stoked. My reggae music or whatever. They're going to mimic that. Children don't listen to you say they what you say they watch what you do. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Right. And then what will which brings you to my next point. Yeah. When you lose it, when moms, like sometimes moms are hanging on by a thread. When you actually lose it, when you yell, you say something you regret. What does an apology from a parent look like to a child and do believe in parents apologizing to their child? Okay. So my losing it looks like this. Like, wow, I'm hungry or something's happening and I need a space. Did I just say I need a space? I need boundaries right now. Like I just need personal space. So I always called it personal space. Like I never would come in and yell. I did that actually one time. I was like, I was like, where's the flashlight? You know, I was like looking for the flashlight and then they're like mom and I'm like, what? I'm looking for

1:08:23the flash. They're like, it's right there. I'm like, oh, okay, okay, great. Yeah. Like that was the only time that I actually yelled because it was like I was looking for something that I needed. Yeah. But I've never come in like triggered. I usually it's it's usually a circumstance. I'm such a high frequency being that I can't have music very close to my ears. Yeah. If I get in the car and the radio's on, I'll shut it off. I don't listen any music in the car. Like I'm very energy. Why if I I freak out? I got a hug a tree. I get very sensorly overloaded. And when I'm sensorly overloaded, I'll let them know like I need space. And that's from everybody. Like I have to go hibernate. Yeah. So the second part of that question was, um, do you believe that yeah, if I need space, I don't yelling is just a part of showing that you don't, yeah. When you yell, you don't have control of your emotional state. Yes. I mean, that's just what it is. So you're showing your kids that that's acceptable. You're so out of balance that you've readlined. Would you appall it? Should parents apologize to their kids? Absolutely. Yeah. I own my mistakes. Like I say, hey, I didn't get it right there. Like I just want to let you know, I'm a human being moving through this experience. I'm doing the very best I can. Do you know that when you do this, how much respect your kids give

1:09:28you? She's real, right? She's not on a pedestal. Like she's actually a real person. And I can make mistakes. And I know I said earlier, mom, mom, mom, but I'm mom and dad. Yeah. Do you think it's healthy for kids to see their parents disagree? Heck yeah. You better fight with your husband, but the right kind of fighting, the conscious fighting. My kids have seen full blowups. Yeah. Like I have literally threatened to leave my husband in front of my kids probably four or five times. But in a good way, like in a good way, tell me how it's so the good way is, hey, I love you so much. Like I love your soul so much, but I will not tolerate any negativity or lower vibration. That might mean that we're not meant to be together. Yeah. And I'm okay with that. But just so you know, like I love you more than anything. Like it's not coming from I'm out of here. It's coming from you got to raise your energy. You got to raise your field. You got to do your own work. Your shit's not my shit. Can help your bond. Gil, Gilburn talks about this in the profit. And he talks about there's two rivers in a marriage. I'm my river. You're your river. And we create our bridge. Right? But when you intertwine like this constantly with someone, it's a lot of work. Yeah. So he might be going through

1:10:31something, but you can't bring that into my field. Right. So my kids have seen us. They've literally seen us knock down battles us apologize, even my husband apologized for for situations. And we move through it. Yeah. And that's part of a relationship. Yeah. All right. I have a very specific relationship with makeup. Okay. I love a full glam moment. I love doing my makeup every day. But I also love when my makeup looks like I'm not really wearing makeup, which as we all know is sometimes the hardest look to achieve. So I've been using merit beauty for a while when I need this look. And I think what keeps me coming back is that it makes me feel like myself just a little more polished because I don't always want to feel like I have to have a full face of makeup on. Sometimes I just want my skin to look good. A little color on my cheeks and be done with it. So this is why I love their great skin serum and the minimalist. The serum gives you that healthy looking glow. The minimalist works both as a foundation and concealer. So I can just put coverage where I want instead of covering my entire face. And then I just add a little flush balm and it

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1:13:38You better have enough time. I have to tell you my most embarrassing moment. Oh, please. I honestly, my only other thing that I was going to ask about was what do you think about influencers in particular, but just people in general posting their kids' lives publicly from birth on social media? I think it's sick and twisted. You do. And the reason why I say that is because we have to show like Caitlin, I am a very private person. I've lived I have such an amazing life. The reason I'm utilizing social media is for a message of impact to inspire others. Like I got a video from my team the other day of this woman literally her child's bare naked. And she's breastfeeding with both of her boobs out. And I'm just like, what what is the reason for this? That's a sacred thing. I do understand the secret. Yeah. But like like if it's done with intentionality, like there's a lot of women that have gone through major trials and tribulations at birth. And you know, if it's done for a message to uplift the planet, I'm all for it. Yeah. But a lot of like, that's why I never like my kids will be like, well, I'm here in

1:14:40insulin. I'm like, yeah, but I'm I'm I'm I'm reminding you of what you're capable of being too. So I never want to come from the space that I mean, I said sick and twisted. We don't use a platform to manipulate consciousness and to like, what did I have written down here? Like it shouldn't be content. Yes. Like I'm I my boobs completely out and me my naked child to the world. Like that's your image and likeness. That's who you are. That's like a sacred divinity. And by the way, that child has no no agrens. And that's what freaks me out. If I have children and like I get so proud, I want to share everything when you have children when I have to. Well, now you have me because I like got you I be in your house. Boom, we got this. Good. When I have children, I'm like, I don't think I could share because I don't want to use my child as content. I don't want to use my relationship. I've been right now as content because I protect it. So only reason why like my kids are on my feed and the reason why is I'm showing people what the

1:15:41possibilities are with this level of consciousness and awareness when you give your kids this. Yeah. Now the one thing that the one thing I would say is like the little babies, I just I can't stand this influencing world like here's my kid and my glasses on and like it's like why? I know. It's so cringey. It's well, it's scary because I've like that like you said the kid doesn't have the ability to say yes or no. And what age do you think they should have that ability to say yes or no to be on the internet? I think they should just be like like it should be for impact. It should be for you know there's there's a couple people there's in in my world that I've been sent you know where like the young girl is doing affirmations and it's so empowering she's three years old yes that's a full body yes right but if the little girl is making a joke and it's a it's like it's like what are you doing it for inspiration and entertainment like what is this about and a lot of these parents I mean look at the music industry like they're selling off their kids like a lot of people are using I have so many followers yeah and it's mom running this account yeah yeah

1:16:45and it's like the little pageant girls yeah but I need to give you a short like this is going to be a two minute most embarrassing moment because actually we took a month to think about this when I got this from Taylor so you actually need this we did okay okay okay so so now okay so now you heard now you heard who I am and you're like okay we're like soul sisters yeah like I'm talking you like we're out of coffee shop yeah so I'm I love playing blackjack and I'm a big blackjack player so I play you know high high bats yeah and I'm at the win I'm at the encore and uh Brad is playing on other table and I just go one on with the dealer and I look at him and he knows me Michael and I'm like what do you think and he's like cards have been playing good today so I'm like okay great so I put out 2000 and uh was it a thousand or two thousand oh five hundred okay five hundred so I put out 500 and I get cards to double down and so I double down the bet yeah and he comes over and he's kind of looking at the shoe and she pulls a blackjack and I'm like okay that was just you know whatever a thousand fifteen hundred and I looked at him I go I thought you

1:17:46said the cards were good and I go like this to his arm like you know like Michael yeah did you just hit me and I'm like I know you and he's like no you just hit me and I'm like what do you mean and he's like that really hurt and I was like okay first of all I'm five foot nothing I didn't hurt you like come on right had like a glass of rosé like I wasn't even at my peak that day so um I'm like I'm so confused I'm like so we're not friends anymore and now you think I abused you ready 15 minutes later I get a knock from the head of security the entire security team they kick me out of the encore no stop I'm with my kids we have to pack up the entire room in 10 minutes and I get walked out by security on a trust pass on a trust pass for your trust pass you're joking wait hold on two weeks he said that he said he was physically abused he can't work anymore he used me

1:18:48as a way to get compensation and they kicked me out now I go I have a host they kicked me out and that was like one of the most embarrassing like I was just like wow oh I'm running my suitcase out of the encore no and I have that literally security guys on camera and they're like mismagers I'm so sorry like I even have to do this like I'm really sorry and they're reading me my rights like you can't come into the encore I'm like can I please videotape this they're like yeah go for it I was like what so that was basically Parker told me to sell that I have other ones but I thought that one was good right that's a good one I was like I was just vibing and you just kicked me out of the hotel that's crazy so four-year ban four years oh lord okay I feel a little but there we go we're talking about universal alignment I probably wasn't supposed to be there I would lose more money shift the alignment right you got open you gotta do the the old spin zone where you turn a negative into a positive that's it turn a negative in the positive I was still bummed about losing that money I was like you ask that's how I flick a man's arm go on and you're going

1:19:50to trust us and they took my money for that day I didn't even spend the night that wild thousand bucks well at least the other people like we're like I'm so sorry no that was fine not that I needed validation but I knew like I will punch you like I know how to punch that was not a punch yeah you're like I flick your arm and I will throw it yeah I'm like at least if you're gonna get me on a trespass I want to actually beat your ass oh yeah so crazy I've been kicked out of a bag for a couple before two wait I need that one can I have another please that's a dinner that was some wine dinner conversation I'll totally tell people if we were out of time but thank you so much for coming to know my most important question is where do people find your program to do and to look at and I want to first I want to give you well and we'll give you an affiliate code like all the things so we can post it in the in the caption but Lauren majors official link and bio I'm doing a live event probably like every two months and then I share all of this and then people come into my memberships okay great so basically inside my memberships you have my certified coaching team they walk with you to implement the system in your home it's incredible so Lauren majors I mean

1:20:51even googling my name the Lauren majors yeah and it's mage rs and everything's there okay but like reaching out to me via contact to connect on my website and my team reaches right back out we get on a call we set you up okay so super easy okay well everybody good I said yeah Lauren majors official yeah I have multiple accounts but yeah Lauren majors official and we'll tag everything in the outnots as well thank you so much that was so fun hello and welcome to Pluto foe if you know the name of the movie you'd like to see just stream it for free on Pluto TV we're all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer law catch anchor man the legend of Ron burgundy fantastic the matrix trilogy welcome to the real world mean girls so excited I'm the key in the world and so much more for showtime press nothing they're free 24 seven that is so fast on Pluto TV stream now pay never hey guys it's your friend Michelle

1:21:54Collins and I'm here to invite you to listen to the Michelle Collins show yes that's my show unfiltered unscripted unhinged and covers pretty much everything you're gonna want to care about it's funny it's fearless it could go off the rails at any moment and often does so follow rate and review the Michelle Collins show wherever you get your podcasts and let's spiral together okay when you hear boho if your brain immediately goes to flower crowns and music festivals same but apparently boho has grown up it's gotten a little more glamorous and honestly I'm kind of into her macy's is calling one of their biggest fall trends romantic boho and it still has all those things that we love about the style flowy dresses silky fabrics lace suede but now you're mixing them with statement layers like layer jewelry more elevated accessories which I think you know I am all about and the colors for fall so good chocolate brown camel warm golden tones soft neutrals even those dusty rose pinks those are literally my favorite colors in the world to wear

1:22:57right now it just feels very rich and romantic without being like overly feminine I also love that this is a trend you can just dip your toe into you don't need the full head to toe boho look although I did just order a silk scarf trapper around my head I'm going for it but you can add a slouch you suede boot a silky mini dress some layer jewelry boom you're done and those are pieces that you can keep mixing into outfits that you already own which makes the trend just feel very wearable instead of like you're buying a whole new wardrobe and if you have no idea where to start I will discreet this from the rooftops macy's has free personal stylists in stores who can help you put the whole look together so awesome so go check out the romantic boho trend for fall in store or online at macy's dot com this podcast is brought to you by progressive insurance do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash progressive makes it easy just drop in some details about yourself and see if you're eligible to save money when you bundle your home and auto policies the process only takes minutes and it could mean hundreds more in your pocket visit progressive dot com after this episode to see if you could save progressive

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